Rigging The Game
by The Pirate Gypsy
Summary: Sands is brought back to the States by the CIA and is forced to adapt to a new life. But Sands doesn't plan on making it easy for anyone involved, especially for Dr. Charlie Macintosh, his new doctor and target. SandsxOC.
1. The Doctor Arrives

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sands.**

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! Hope you enjoy my new story!  
**

**Chapter 1!  
**

"Damn phone."_  
_

Trevor Hartford woke to the sound of his cellphone cutting through the night air. He turned to the nightstand and picked it up, looking at the number. He felt the body beside him turn as she woke up too.

"Is it your wife?"

Trevor looked back at her tiredly. "Are you kidding? She doesn't even know about this cellphone, let alone the number."

But Trevor didn't recognise the number himself and on this phone, his phone for work, that was unusual.

He picked it up. "Trevor Hartford."

"Agent Trevor Hartford, I assume? Agent Hartford, you are a very hard man to find but I suppose in your line of work, that is a compliment."

Trevor frowned. "Who is this?"

"My name is Jorge Ramirez. I am calling you about an agent you have stationed in my country."

_Damn it, Sands. What'd you do now?_

"Mr. Ramirez, I don't know how you got this number but-"

"Agent."

"Excuse me?"

"I am with the FBI, Agent Hartford and I am calling you because of Agent Sands."

"Look, I know..." Hartford stopped, remembering the woman in the bed next to him thought he worked in advertising. "I know your company and mine are rivals but surely you understand that when our company is on a...project, we try not to step on your company's toes. Sands might not adhere to that rule at all times-"

"No, he definitely does not."

"But I assure you, tracking me down to complain personally-"

"I am not calling you to complain, Agent Hartford. I am calling you to let you know that Agent Sands could probably use your help right now."

Hartford was getting more confused. "Ag- Sands should now be aware that his project has been terminated and see to it that-"

"That's the problem. Agent Sands will not be seeing to anything any time soon."

Hartford frowned. "What?"

* * *

"Leave him there."

Everyone in the office looked at Armisen who had just spoken.

Armisen noticed and huffed. "You were all thinking it; I just had the balls to say it."

"He's one of our agents. And one of the best we have." Hartford said. "I didn't know we were in the habit of just leaving them stranded in different countries when they get into trouble."

"Sands has been a liability for quite some time. That's why we sent him to Mexico. He got himself into trouble down there, it's his problem."

Hartford looked around at the other men in the room. "You all agree?"

The men looked from Hartford to Armisen before the boss, Crowley, stood up. "Look, you're his boss Trevor. We'll let you decide what to do about him. But you're his boss, he's your problem. You bring him back here; you have to deal with him."

The rest of the men got up to leave Hartford's office.

"Fine." Hartford said. "But I'm taking Macintosh to get him."

Armisen turned back. "Oh no, you're not. Macintosh isn't going anywhere."

"I'm going to need a doctor."

"Not the best one! Not for Sands!"

Hartford stood from his desk. "I have just been informed that Sands is my responsibility. Well, I'm being responsible and dealing with it. To do that, I'm taking Macintosh and that's that."

Crowley put a hand to silent the men. "Is Macintosh on any other cases?"

"Not at the moment." Hartford answered.

"Then do what you want." Crowley said to Hartford.

Hartford smirked at Armisen before turning back to Crowley. "Thank you, sir."

"But if Sands does one thing, moves one finger out of place..."

"I'll see to it that Agent Sands is a consummate professional."

* * *

"I need drugs..."

Sands heard the groan before realising it had come from his own lips.

_Wait, what? Why am I not...dead?_

He heard a chuckle. "Actually, that is the drugs. Senõr Sands? Senõr Sands, it is time to wake up."

Sands tried to open his eyes before remembering.

_They took my eyes. _

_Whoa, I'm going to be like Belini...except double...and not dead..._

Sands brought his hand up to feel his face but his arm felt very heavy.

"Oh, Senõr Sands, you are awake."

Sands didn't recognise the voice with its Mexican accent. "Where am I?"

"You are in the hospital, Senõr. You have been for three days. I am Doctor Ortiz. I have been looking after you."

"Three days? How did I get to a hospital?"

"Agent Jorge Ramirez. He called an ambulance and you were found slumped the street."

"Agent Ramirez called you?"

"He has also been calling to check in."

"Why?"

"It seems he is waiting for your boss."

Sands froze. "My boss? I don't have a boss."

"On the contrary, Senõr Sands. It seems that Agent Ramirez got in touch with an Agent Hartford who is flying down with a doctor who can better deal your...condition. A Doctor Charles Macintosh."

Sands didn't feel too good and it didn't have anything to do with the two holes in his head though they definitely didn't help. "Trevor Hartford? He's coming down?"

"Indeed, he is. I have spoken to him myself over the phone. He should be here in a day or two."

Sands gulped. "A day? But I'm staying in Mexico, right? Or am I going back to America?"

Doctor Ortiz frowned. "I do not know. Agent Hartford did not specify. I would assume so. You do not live here, do you? From what I know, I was under the impression you were here for work."

"I am. I mean, I was." Sands didn't particularly relish going back to the States. Although he didn't relish staying in Mexico either. But in Mexico, he didn't have to deal with facing up to all his actions and the consequences. After all, he did have a sweet deal going in Mexico.

_Before the, you know, eye extraction..._

"Senõr Sands?"

Sands realised he'd been silent. "I'm not really in the mood for chatting anymore. What say you pump up these lovely drugs a little more and wake me when my boss gets here, savvy?"

"Savvy?" Doctor Ortiz asked, not understanding.

"Great. See ya later. Or hear ya later."

* * *

"Agent Ramirez, nice to meet you." Hartford said, shaking hands with the man. "Thank you for calling me."

"It was the least I could do."

"Are you and Agent Sands friends?"

"Not really. I want him out of my country."

Hartford nodded, understanding. "Well, that's the plan. Have you seen him?"

"No, I haven't but I left Agent Sands with someone who I felt would match Sands in maturity and wit."

* * *

"Hola, Senõr Sands. Cómo estás?"

"Not good, kid." Sands replied, knowing it was the boy in the yellow t-shirt as it was every day.

"Muy bueno." The boy said, sitting on the chair next to the bed.

"Mhmm." Sands said. No matter how Sands said he was, the fact that he was awake and saying anything at all was always 'muy bueno.'

It had only been a few days and Sands was already sick of lying in this bed. He had successfully made his way around Mexico and killed four people right after he got the eyes pulled from his head and now he wasn't allowed get up without doctor's orders? He was annoyed to say the least. But the doctor was the one prescribing the drugs; at least he would be for another couple of hours. Hartford and the new doctor were coming today. Sands wondered how this was going to go down. Did Hartford know what Sands had tried to do? Well, he was going to find out soon enough.

"Senõr Sands, are you awake?"

"No, go away."

"Senor Sands, Senõr Hartford and Doctor Macintosh are here."

Sands heard footsteps approach his bed and stop.

Hartford frowned down at the kid. "We didn't leave you down here that long, did we?"

"Funny." Sands said. "He's a damn bit more dependable in a crisis than you are."

"How are ya feeling Sands?" Hartford asked.

Sands sounded overly chipper. "Fan-fucking-tastic Trevor, how are you?"

"Agent Sands, there is a child present." Doctor Ortiz chided though Hartford knew better than to try.

"He's cool." Sands said. "And doesn't know a word of English."

"Eso es correcto." The boy said, trying to help Sands, not realising.

"Thanks for trying, kid." Sands said. "Like I said Trev, never felt better."

Hartford chuckled. "It's nice to see that you're still a sarcastic son of a bitch."

"I bet that is nice to see."

"Bad choice of words. Sands, allow me to introduce your doctor..."

"Charles Macintosh." Sands interrupted. "Hey Mac."

"Actually Agent Sands, its Charlie Macintosh." Sands was shocked to hear a feminine voice. "But you can call me Mac if you wish, or even, God forbid, Doctor Macintosh." He could hear the smile in her voice.

Sands was a little surprised at this turn of events and even more shocked when he felt a pair of female hands touch his face. "Do you mind?"

Without waiting for an answer, she began gently taking off the bandages that were on his face, presumably to get better look at his eye cavities.

Doctor Ortiz huffed at the people in the room who obviously cared or knew little about children before calling the boy and taking him out of the room so he wouldn't see anything. No one took any notice.

Sands was frowning. "Wait, you're a woman?"

"So I've been told. I hope that's not a problem."

Sands smirked. "No, no problem. So will you be dealing with all aspects of my recovery?"

He could hear her voice full of concentration as she inspected him. "That's the plan."

"So gunshot wounds and everything?"

"Yup."

"You know, I did get quite nasty shots to my thighs if you want to take a better look."

"Sands, you're confined to a bed for Christ's sake." Hartford interrupted in a warning voice but Sands heard Charlie softly chuckle.

"Perfect place to be then, isn't it?" Sands said.

"You have no eyes. She could be a dog for all you know."

"Thank you, sir." Charlie said, not looking away from the cavities.

"No problem, Macintosh. Sands, I risked my neck just trying to help you and if you-"

"Trevor, get out." Sands said quickly.

"Sheldon, I will not..."

"Actually sir," Charlie interrupted "I would appreciate if you let me speak to Agent Sands in private."

Hartford looked at Charlie for a second before agreeing and leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Sands feared the worst upon hearing she wanted to speak to him in private. If it was good news, she could have said it in front of everyone. He felt her sit on the side of his bed.

"Well Agent Sands, I'll be honest. While I've never encountered something quite like this-"

"What a shock."

"-I think there maybe something we can do for you."

Sands sat up in the bed, disregarding the pain in his gun shot wounds. "You mean I can get my eyes back?"

"Not your eyes, no but an eye transplant is possible. The Argawal Institute in Madras successfully completed one on a Pakistani boy after the eyes were donated. I don't want you to get your hopes up as the process doesn't have a one hundred percent success rate. The surgery is a long, hard one and we need to wait for a donation. Many people don't like donating their eyes after death and we'd have to wait for a match. But I promise you, I will try everything in my power to help you as best I can."

Sands couldn't help but feel a little deflated. "So, what you're saying is that this whole situation is a maybe and even if it does go ahead, I'll be waiting for a good while with empty eye sockets."

"Actually, the reason they brought me to you instead of waiting to bring you to the States was because I can fill your eye sockets in the mean time."

"With what? Cotton Wool?"

"With an ocular prosthesis," She explained. "Also known as an artificial eye. They are what you'd typically call glass eyes."

"Like Sammy Davis Jr.?"

"Exactly. The prosthetic fits over an orbital implant and under the eyelids. The ocular prosthesis roughly takes the shape of a convex shell and is made of medical grade plastic acrylic." Sands heard ruffling and then scribbling, he could only guess that she was writing notes.

"But it won't let me see?"

"I'm afraid not but don't give up hope, while you recover in the rehabilitation training program, I'll stay on my toes for any donations."

Sands was about to tell her that it was great, he supposed, when he realized. "Rehab? I'm going to rehab?"

"It's only to get you used to being...in your situation. It's to help you adjust."

"I've already adjusted. I killed right after I went blind; I'm a very well adjusted human being."

Charlie's head shot up and she was a little taken back to say the least but she had been warned about Sands and she had dealt with this kind of stuff before. She was a doctor for the CIA. "Yeah, killing people always amount up to a happy and well adjusted individual." She was being sarcastic in hopes he wouldn't think he fazed her.

Sands chuckled. "So when am I getting back to the States?"

"Well, it's up to you really. I can do the surgery to put in the ocular prosthesis' here or you can wait till we get back to the States. If I do it here, you'll have to stay longer. If you want to wait, we just have to wait for your stitches to heal."

"I can't get on a plane because of stitches?"

"Better safe than sorry, Agent Sands."

Sands huffed. "Sands." He probably wasn't an agent anymore.

Charlie smiled. "Sands, it is then. Do you want some time to think about your decision?"

"Just do it now. There's no difference between being stuck in a bed in Mexico and being stuck in one back home."

"Are you positive?"

"No, I've changed my mind in the last three seconds."

"Keep being sarcastic Sands and I'll give you purple eyes."

Sands eyebrows shot up. "You can't do that."

"Who's going to stop me?"

Sands considered it for a moment. "I'm beginning to like you."

Charlie laughed and looked up from her notepad. "Good, because we're going to be spending a lot more time together."

_Bring it on, sugar.

* * *

_

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**_  
_


	2. The Surgery

**Chapter 2**

"So how long am I going to have to wait?"

Hartford sighed. "I'm not the one you have to ask."

"You can't pull some strings?" Sands asked. "Kill someone?"

"Sands, I am not going to kill someone and steal their eyes." Hartford said tiredly. "Look, Macintosh is hard at work calling contacts and such. You just need to be patient and let her do her work."

"And what if she doesn't find anything? Hmmm? Am I just supposed to stay blind? Remember what I said about this not being the time to screw the pooch? Case in point. I need eyes!"

"Sands!" Hartford said. "We are working on it. You have the best doctor in the CIA-"

"Where is she anyway?"

"Talking to Doctor Ortiz and the nurses. But don't worry, not that you are, she told me she'd definitely get down to see you before your surgery."

Sands had been thinking about her quite a bit. She was working on his case. If he pissed her off, she could make his life hell. But if he made his way into her good books, that'd be quite handy. Ever since she said an eye donation was possible, Sands had been racking his brains to think of how to speed up the process. He couldn't be blind. He needed to be able to see. And Dr. Charlie Macintosh was the key to that. He just needed her to focus on him more than anything else, to need to help him.

Well, manipulation was something Sheldon Jeffrey Sands was an expert at and eyes or no eyes, there was no losing that skill.

"Sands?"

Sands realised that Hartford was speaking. "What now?"

"I thought losing one sense was supposed to heighten your other ones? You're deaf now too?"

"What is it, Trevor?" Sands asked, in a sarcastically polite tone.

"I was just saying that I'm going to go speak to Agent Ramirez. I have a meeting with him tomorrow when you're in surgery. Anything you want to tell me before I do?"

Sands jolted. "What? Why?"

Sands had been thinking about it and who was there to let his bosses in on what he'd been up to down here? Barillo and Ajedrez were dead, El Mariachi was gone, Marquez, Belini, Dr. Guevera, no one was left to let the CIA know that Sands was behind all the trouble that had erupted in Mexico. If he lied well enough, it could be left alone.

_Except for Ramirez. Damn!_

"You're not listening again."

Sands tuned back in. "You're not even going to see how my surgery goes?"

Hartford raised an eyebrow. "Do you mind?"

Sands was silent for a second. "It would be nice to know that someone cares."

Hartford rolled his eyes. "I will be back before you wake up."

"That's just not good enough."

Hartford huffed. "Try to get some sleep, Sands."

Hartford left the room and Sands grimaced.

_This may not go in my favour.

* * *

_

The next day Sands was getting prepped for surgery. He didn't know if he should feel excited or not. True, he was getting the holes in his head filled and would look somewhat normal again but he still wouldn't be able to see. His entire life was going to change when he went back to the States and he had to get used to being blind. He would no longer be able to pull all the strings, he wouldn't be allowed back into the CIA. What was he going to do when he got back?

Sands heard footsteps enter the room and knew who it was.

"Hey Mac, you all prepared for surgery?"

He heard Charlie chuckle. "I am, indeed. We just need to get you into the O.R. and drugged up to your where there will soon be eyeballs."

Sands smirked. "Sounds good."

"Sure does. Now, how're you feeling about today?"

Sands shrugged. "Hopefully after the drugs, I won't feel anything. I'm hardly going to be excited about still not being able to see."

Charlie sat on the bed. "Well, I hope you know that I pulled a few favours and I now have the best people possible working on this case. If there is a pair out there that matches, they're yours."

The thought made Sands decide to carry out a plan to satisfy his curiosity and get the ball rolling.

"So, what's the deal with you?" He asked.

Charlie raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, how did you become a doctor for the CIA at such a young age?"

"How do you know what age I am?"

"Just a guess. You don't have a granny voice."

"I graduated at a pretty early age and they called me in. I passed the necessary tests and I was in, pretty boring story."

"You some kind of genius?"

Charlie was feeling embarrassed now. "Something like that."

"Something like that? Either you're smart or you're not."

"I'm a doctor for the CIA, what do you think?"

"What's your IQ?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"You're going to be hacking away at my face. It'd be nice to know if you know your right from your left."

"I'm fully aware of what I'm doing."

"What age did you graduate high school?"

"What does it matter?" Charlie asked with a frown. Did he not trust her? "Look Agent Sands-"

"Sands."

"Sands. If you're nervous over my credentials or anything, maybe you can take solace in the fact that I've been handpicked by the same people as yourself."

"My, my, you do dally around questions."

"Sands, about your surgery-" Charlie said, trying to change the subject.

"So, if you needed to pass the tests to get into the CIA, did they include the fitness test?"

"Are you asking me if I'm fat?"

"I know you're not fat, you're sitting on the side of my bed and it's not collapsing. I'm asking are you fit."

"You don't need to be fit to be a doctor."

"Sets a good example."

"It does. I would consider myself fit enough. Now enough about me. Your sur..."

"What colour hair do you have?"

"What? Why?"

"I'm curious."

"It's kind of a dark reddish, kinda plummy..." Charlie shook her head. "It doesn't matter! Now about today..."

"What height are you?"

"Sands! None of this matters!"

Sands decided to dig a little deeper. "Married?"

Charlie really wished this conversation wasn't so personal on her side. She bet if she asked Sands a personal question, hell would be having a white Christmas before he'd answer.

"No, I'm not married."

"Single?"

"I have a boyfriend."

Sands smirked. He did like a challenge.

"How nice." If she noticed the sarcasm in his voice, she didn't comment on it. "Is he in the CIA?"

"No, I was with him before I was hired for the CIA."

"How long have you been with him?"

"Ten years."

_Ok, might be a little harder to get her interested in solely me now._

Sands whistled. "That is a long time."

"It is."

"Did you meet him at school?"

"We didn't go to the same school."

"Oh, oh course. You're a genius. Probably went to a special genius type school or graduated from college at the age of two. And yet you still found love with one of us ordinary thinking folk for ten long years. My, you are committed. So, where are you from?"

Charlie sighed. "Malibu. Why? Where are you from? How did you get into the CIA? Are you married?

"All that stuff should be in my file. Don't get irritated, Mac." Sands chided, amused. "I just want to know my doctor."

"Well, I want to talk about your surgery."

"What's there to talk about? You put me under, I wake up with non functioning eyes in my head. I don't need to know anything else."

"But don't you want to kno..."

"Nope, I'm good."

"But..."

"When am I going down for the surgery?"

"In about an hour. I just came up to talk to you before I went down to make sure everything is perfect but you've made it clear you're happy so I'm going to go. I'll talk to you when you wake up, Sands."

He heard her walk out of the room.

_Well, what have we learned today? She's smart, very smart. She's got a well paying job so she can take care of herself; I mean the CIA wanted her for a reason. She's uncomfortable talking about herself, big plus. I don't have to listen to her whine about something or other that happened in her life. It also means she's insecure which means she'll be easy to get if anyone shows her a little bit of attention. She has a boyfriend, for ten years. She's probably been with him for so long because of the insecurity thing. But still, a challenge. Always fun._

_I'll be getting those eyes in no time._

"Senõr Sands?" A nurse entered the room.

"What?"

"We're bringing you down for surgery now."

"I thought I had an hour?"

"Doctor Macintosh is satisfied with everything and said you wouldn't mind getting started earlier."

_Nice, Mac.

* * *

_

Sands woke up feeling very groggy.

_Ugh, this isn't good._

It was then that Sands realised his eyes were closed. He had eyes.

_Better than nothing. Wow, I have eyes again._

Sands lifted his hand, which felt very heavy, and brought it up to his face. He felt bandages on his face.

"Oh, you're awake." He heard the pleasantly surprised voice at the end of his bed. It was Charlie. "I was just checking up on you and updating your chart."

"So, I have eyes now? They're in there?"

"They sure are. But you're still quite sensitive so you're not going to be showing them off just yet. But no worries." Charlie walked over to him. "Your little friend dropped these by. Apparently he took them when the doctors took them off you."

Sands felt her place his sunglasses into his hands.

"You can use these while you wait." She said. "I would recommend prescription sunglasses but I don't think you'd wear them. But in terms of the surgery, everything went fine. How are you feeling?"

Sands huffed. "Like crap."

Charlie nodded, going back to the chart. "Oh, well that's going to be the situation for a while but I'm here to help if you need it."

"What colour are the lenses?" He asked and Charlie laughed remembering her threat.

"They're the same colour as your old eyes. I saw pictures and acquired similar looking ones."

"Good, I don't think any other colour would suit me."

_Neither do I. _Charlie thought. _You had nice eyes. Shame._

"Well, you're doing very well. I'm very pleased with how everything went." She said putting down his chart. "You should just rest now and I'll be back to check on you later. Call me if you need anything. I'm pretty much always around. You're my only patient here."

"Alright, then." Sands was about to say thank you but then held beck.

_What for? Because she did her job and didn't screw up? That's what she's supposed to do._

He heard Charlie leave the room and a few minutes later, he heard his door open again.

"I know you're drugged up but honestly, Sands, you're embarrassing to be around."

"What did I do?" Sands asked. He really wasn't in the mood for Hartford right now.

"Do you not remember what you did? I mean, I bring an excellent doctor down here to help you and you insult her!"

"I didn't insult her." Sands thought back to their conversation. "I didn't even talk much."

"I mean, I thought the poor girl was going to die of embarrassment."

"Trevor, I didn't do anything!"

"Do you not remember when we woke you up first?"

Sands tilted his head. "I was awake before?"

Hartford sounded furious. "Yes! A nurse woke you up and you went on about how you wanted Macintosh. She was telling me about your surgery and how well it went; oh I thanked her by the way since I knew you wouldn't. The nurse found her and told her you were asking for her. We come in here and the things you said to her!"

Sands felt a little dread fill him. "What did I say?"

"You were rambling on about how she was insecure or something, how she wasn't fat and how once you got her into bed, she was going to get you eyes. You were quite a bit more vulgar, though. You said more but I think you get the gist of it. The poor girl was mortified."

_Crap._

"She was just in here, she didn't say anything."

"What was she supposed to say? 'Oh, hello, Agent Sands, do you want to mount me right now or shall we wait till you're feeling a little better?'"

"But she wasn't even angry. She was being nice to me."

"She's a doctor, Sands. She gets the whole 'drugs make you stupid' thing. Besides, she's too polite to be cold with a patient. Even a bastard like you."

Sands thought about it. "Huh."

"That's all you have to say? Huh? You don't even care enough to form a proper word? I mean that girl is one of the best and you just... No wonder I sent you to Mexico!"

"I don't know what you want me to say Trevor."

"Apologise!"

"No."

"Sands!"

"Look, it happened, nothing I can do now. I don't even remember doing it."

"I can't believe you were planning to get her into bed so she would work harder to get you eyes. I should believe it, it's you. She's working very hard at it as it is, Sands. She's never off her phone talking to different hospitals, different countries! I was going to make you her only patient while you recovered so she could focus more on getting you a donation and practising the surgery but now I don't think that's a good idea."

Sands' head shot up. "Trevor, you have to do that. Mac was telling me that no one's ever performed this surgery in the States before. She needs to work at it. She can't be busy with other agents."

"Oh, Mac? That wasn't what you were calling her a while ago."

"What did I call her?"

"Oh, a number of things. The tamest one being sugarbutt."

"Well, I've never seen it but..."

"You're only convincing me that taking her off your case is a better idea."

"Trevor, I promise I will not do anything to seduce her."

"I don't believe you and Charlie is stronger than you give her credit for."

"Fine, I won't harass her."

"I still don't believe you."

"I'm not doing it for you! Or for her! I'm doing this because I want to see again! If you take her off the case, there's a good chance that won't happen. So I'll remain professional because I'm blind."

Trevor couldn't argue with the reasoning that Sands would do anything to help himself. Or wouldn't do anything.

"I'll think about it."

* * *

"I want to stay on his case, Trevor." Charlie folded her arms.

"Are you sure, Charlie? Sands is one of the biggest handfuls I've ever come across and what happened today only proves that he won't remain professional around you."

Charlie smiled. "I'm a big girl, Trevor. I can take care of myself. This case is one of the most unusual things I've ever seen. I can only imagine if I'm able to perform the eye transplant."

Trevor smirked. "Oh, so you're only staying on to further your career? Your reasons are purely selfish?"

"Of course. I don't want anyone else getting their hands on my surgery."

"Have you heard any news on an eye transplant?"

Charlie sighed. "No but I'm getting a simulator that will help me practise the surgery. I hope you don't mind I sent the bill to the CIA."

"I knew Sands would bankrupt us."

Charlie laughed. "So who will be working on his rehab? Should I find someone?"

Trevor groaned at the thought. "I don't think he'll work for you, let alone, anyone else. He usually likes an audience but..."

Charlie nodded. "I'll think of someone."

"And you really don't mind that he was planning to...you know."

"Well, he'll never get a chance now. Not that he ever had a chance before..."

Hartford chuckled. "Good girl. I would advise you to stay on your toes though."

"Oh, I will."

* * *

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	3. Hot And Cold

**Here's Chapter 3!**

Sands was lying in his bed and trying to think back to what he had said to Charlie, so far being unsuccessful. He really couldn't remember a thing.

"Senõr Sands, are you asleep?" He heard a nurse ask.

"No." He answered although he wished he was.

"We need to change your sheets." The nurse said and she started pulling out his IV's. She and another nurse tried to help Sands out of the bed but he refused to let them touch him. He walked into the bathroom so he could get away from them but soon heard the two nurses speak in Spanish. He leaned against the door to listen.

"_So, what's that Doctor Macintosh like?"_

"_Oh, she's horrible. A real bitch. She's so orderly and meticulous and fussy. She needs everything to be perfect and spotless according to her standards. I was in with her in the surgery yesterday and she was so bossy and she spent so much time on making sure his stitches were perfect and everything was her way."_

"_Surely that's what you want in a doctor."_

"_Oh, she's lovely to her patient and he's a bastard! But to the staff she needs everything done her way. I know it's to make sure her patient has the best care he can but she's a complete bitch to us. Is it so hard to ask politely?"_

"_Well, she wants the best for Agent Sands."_

"_Why? The man is a pig. They belong together. Oh, did you hear what he did to her yesterday? I found it so hard not laugh."_

"_The whole 'I fuck you, you fix me' thing? Who hasn't heard that?"_

"_Oh, that wasn't all he said. I thought she was going to die. But to be honest, she's probably in need of a good night of sex. Might unwind her a little."_

The two women laughed.

"_Honestly, the sooner they're both out of this hospital, the better."_

"_But I have to admit, if Agent Sands promised to do any of those things to me, I wouldn't be saying no."_

Sands smirked.

"_Even though you've seen him with no eyes? That was revolting."_

Sands stopped smirking.

"_Well, he has eyes now thanks to that ice queen so maybe she should let him, what did he say? Ride her like a cowboy? Just as a thank you to her."_

The two women laughed again and Sands decided to come out of the bathroom.

"And what may I enquire is so funny, ladies?" He asked with a polite smile.

"Oh nothing, Senor Sands. We were just talking." The first nurse said as Sands got back into the bed.

"Oh really? Well, could you let the ice queen know her revolting cowboy is looking for her? Thanks." He said with the same sarcastically polite smile and he heard the nurses gasp.

"Of course, Senõr Sands." They said and rushed out of the room.

Sands smiled to himself. He was sure he could get the rest of what he said out of Charlie. The bitch.

* * *

Sands heard someone enter his room and pull a table next to his bed.

"What are you doing?" He asked even though he didn't even know who was there.

"Don't worry Sands, I'm only checking your stitches and changing your bandages." It was Charlie.

"I asked for you hours ago."

"The nurses are avoiding me. They didn't think I knew Spanish."

Sands chuckled. "Speaking of, shouldn't a nurse be doing that?"

"I'm bored. You're the only one I'm here for so when I'm not dealing with you, I'm not doing anything." Sands couldn't help but notice how tired she sounded. She was nearly whispering as if trying not to disturb anyone. It must have been late.

"Why don't you sleep?"

"I don't sleep well when there's surgery involved. I spend too much time thinking over the operation and then the healing so my brain doesn't turn off." She explained as she took off his bandages. "Your stitches are healing nicely."

"What time is it, actually?"

"It's three in the morning."

"Oh." Sands didn't really know what else to say as she pulled back his covers to go to the stitches on his thigh. "So, are you staying on as my doctor?"

"Yup."

"So you spoke Trevor?"

"I did. He tried to convince me that you weren't worth it but I convinced him that you wouldn't be a problem." She said, inspecting his thigh. She hadn't been there when his bullet holes were sutured so she wanted to inspect them properly herself.

Sands smirked trying to not think about how her hands on his thigh felt. "Oh, I won't be?"

"Nope. I'm a doctor for the CIA, Sands; I've dealt with proud people before."

"I bet none of them harassed you when they were drugged up though."

"No, that makes you special."

"I don't actually remember doing it."

She was finished with bandaging his left thigh so she went to his right and inspected that one. "That would be the drugs. I'm also blaming them for your little outburst but I can't blame them for coming up with the plan."

"You can't." Sands leg jolted when her hands brushed his thigh.

"I'm sorry, are you ticklish?"

"Something like that." He smirked.

"Listen, Sands, I would consider myself a pretty professional person. I won't hold it against you what you did but I'm not going to just put up with anything you think you're entitled to do. I am going to work to help you and you're going to work for yourself. So, let's never mention what happened yesterday again and just agree to help each other. Alright?"

"What did I say to you exactly?"

"I said forget it."

"I have forgotten it, that's why I'm asking."

"It doesn't matter Sands."

"Hey, if you liked it I may use it on someone else. What did I say?" Sands had been curious all day about it. Sure, she said she'd let it go but if he insulted her too much then she couldn't. She could just make his life hell. She had moved onto the stitches on his arm now.

"You were just going on about how you were gonna get me into bed and use me to get you a pair of real eyes."

"I know that part, Trevor told me. Also, the nurses said something about riding you like a cowboy and 'I fuck you, you fix me.' What did I actually say?"

"This is embarrassing..." Charlie said when she could feel her cheeks redden.

"Not to me and I said it. Would you just tell me?"

Charlie huffed. "No."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to and you don't need to know. It's not important."

"I thought you weren't angry over it."

"I'm not."

"You sound angry."

"Well, I'm not."

"Then there should be no problem in telling me."

"Think of me not telling you as revenge. That way you can feel better about me being your doctor to think you got me and I got you back. Everything's fair."

"So, you're not going to tell me? Ever?"

"Never ever."

"Well, I'll have to find out from someone else, then."

"Do what you want."

Usually Charlie would be nicer to patients but she had to admit, she was tired and he was annoying her. If she was well rested, maybe she could have dealt with him a little better but she couldn't understand why he cared so much. There was no way she was going to repeat the things he said back to him, especially when they had been aimed at her in the first place. She finished bandaging him up.

"Well, you're all done."

"What are you gonna do now?" Sands asked. He had enjoyed annoying her and now she was leaving again.

"I don't know. Read, listen to music, watch late night infomercials in Spanish, the usual."

"Is your Spanish good?"

"I know my way around the language, I'm not fluent or anything. But I know the nurses all think I'm a bitch." She smirked. "Try and get some sleep."

"So, you're definitely not going to tell me?"

"Goodnight Sands."

* * *

Sands was utterly bored. Maybe because he was going home tomorrow and it was the last few hours he'd have to stay in this bed. He was antsy. Plus, no one had come to see him today or the day before. Not a doctor, only one nurse, not even his doctor. He wondered where everyone was.

"What's a guy got to do to get some fun around here?" He called to outside and jumped when he heard a groan.

Charlie slowly got up and pulled the curtain back, exposing Sands.

"Why do people have to speak out loud to themselves?" She said, her voice filled with sleep as she went over and sat on the chair next to his bed for visitors, propping her feet up on his bed. She was wearing scrubs.

"You're here? You're in the room? How long have you been here?" Sands asked, confused that he hadn't heard her.

"A couple of hours. You were asleep when I came in. I needed sleep and the bed next to yours wasn't being used."

"You don't have a hotel?"

"I don't want to leave the hospital."

"Aw, am I blushing?"

"Not for you. There was a huge bus crash yesterday and there weren't enough helping hands so they asked me to help with the trauma victims. I was out in the Mexican sun all day working at a crash site so now I have other patients beside you. I was in surgery for hours last night and I needed sleep. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm sunburnt but I am the Godfather of bus crash trauma victims."

Sands chuckled. "You were good?"

"Was I what? Of course. One guy had his leg hanging on by a few threads. Another had one of those rails going through his abdomen. Of course I was good. House himself couldn't have done a better job. Although he's a diagnostician...not a surgeon...but then again..."

"Who is this man? Is he a doctor here?"

"You really need to get back to American TV."

"So, everyone survived?"

Charlie stayed silent for a few seconds. "No, it would have been impossible to save everyone I guess. Four people died."

"Oh, so you were good, you weren't the best."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "The best can't save everyone. Some people die, it happens, nothing can save them."

Sands thought about it, she obviously had all this dealt with. Well that was no fun. "I was shot four times and had my eyes gauged out. I should have bled to death, I should have died. I didn't. Why not? I mean, I'm not a good person and people saved me. Why do I get to live and those people died?"

Charlie huffed. "Because. Because that's what happens. Doctors saved you. We couldn't save the guy the bus crushed, we couldn't save the old man that had head injuries and a heart attack, we couldn't save the woman who went through a window and we couldn't save the kid that got a blow to the head with a bus seat. We tried but we couldn't. You could have been saved and you were. Be grateful and stop asking why. We don't know."

Well, he got a reaction. That's what he wanted. But something she said stuck with him. "What age was the kid?"

"What?"

"The kid, what age was he?"

"I don't know, ten maybe?"

"Was he wearing a yellow t-shirt?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes! Was he?"

"No, it was red."

"Red, okay. Yeah, he had a bike, why would he be on a bus?" Sands was mumbling to himself now. "I didn't tell that kid to run for him to go off and die on a bus."

Charlie frowned. "Sands, you okay?"

Sands realised what he was doing and quickly stopped. "So, going home tomorrow?"

"Not me. I'm staying here to see how the people I saved get on and make sure they stay saved."

"What about me? I'm your actual patient."

"You'll be fine. It's only for a few days. I spoke to Trevor and he agreed to let me stay. I don't just leave people who trust me. Those people trust me because I'm their doctor. It's staying that way."

"Aw, you're such a good person." Sands said with a sarcastic smile.

"Shut it, Sands. I'm tired."

"You must be a very light sleeper. It's not like I shouted at you."

"I have to be a light sleeper. If I wasn't easy to wake up, I wouldn't be a good doctor to be on call. I kind of always have to stay on the brink of jumping up and being clear headed. Can only be half asleep."

"You're making me want to go to sleep."

"Do so by all means."

"Why? You have other patients to check on?"

"Aw, jealous?"

"I don't get jealous, I get even."

"You are not going and turning off any of their machines."

"Would I do that?"

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response." Her beeper went off and she looked down at it. "Damnit! Got to go." She said, jumping out of the chair and running out of the room.

* * *

"I thought she wasn't getting any other patients, Trev. She's not even home yet and she has other patients."

"God, you're possessive." Hartford said. He had been berated the minute he walked through the door. "She was asked to help. What was she going to say? Agent Sands wouldn't like it?"

"She's not coming home with us."

"She'll be back in a few days."

"Not good enough."

"What, do you like her or something? I mean, you've never even seen her."

"I don't like her, I want to get started on this stupid therapy thing as quickly as possible because I want it to be over as quickly as possible."

"It's not like you're going to work anyway."

"True, but she won't realise giving up is the better option until she sees it."

"She's not going to back down."

"We'll see."

The two men stopped talking when Charlie entered the room. If she looked tired before, she looked dead now. She resumed her previous position on the chair with her feet propped up on Sands' bed. She looked defeated.

"You alright, Charlie?" Hartford asked, seeing her.

"I'm fine. I might be home sooner. My most critical patient just died."

"Yeah, that must be tough." Sands said. "So you'll be home sooner?"

Charlie looked up at him. "Shut up, Sands."

"Can she say that to me? I mean, I'm her patient." Sands asked Hartford.

"She can say whatever she wants to you. I'm the boss of both of you and I say she can say whatever she wants."

"Can I say whatever I want to her?"

"No."

"Well, that's just playing favourites."

"Shut up, Sands." Hartford said and Sands flopped back on the bed, annoyed.

Hartford pulled a chair over to sit across from Charlie who was biting her lip, deep in thought.

"Which patient was it?" He asked and she looked over at him before sighing.

"Mrs. Guttierez. Her husband was the old man who died at the sight. I had to tell her that when she woke up yesterday and today she had a stroke. What a couple of days."

"Did they have any kids?"

"Yeah, I spoke to them yesterday about their father and they were there today with their mother so they knew what was going on. Still, not easy to translate medical jargon when someone is crying on you."

"Tragic." She heard from the bed.

"I will stab you."

"Trevor." Sands called like he was their father.

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Oh sure, call the boss on me. That's mature."

"You're the one who was threatening violence."

"Yes but it's not like I was really going to do it. Now if it were you who had said it..."

"It will be if you're not careful."

"Oooh, scary."

"I bet not as much as your face."

"How do you know? You've never seen it."

"The nurses told me."

"Pig."

"Cow."

"Jackass."

"Nerd."

"Enough." Hartford said and the two fell silent. "God, you're like school children. If you were in third grade, you'd be pulling her hair and you'd be pushing him off the swings." The two tried to defend themselves but Hartford interrupted. "I don't want to hear it. I was sitting here the whole time, remember? Now if you two keep acting like this, I'll be forced to make sure to give Sands a new doctor."

Both protested but since they were talking together, neither could get a word in.

"Stop it." Hartford said and the two went silent again. "Now, both of you have to assure me that you can work together. Apologise."

"I don't apologise Trevor." Sands said.

"Oooh, big man can't say small word." Charlie muttered under her breath but Hartford caught her.

"Hey. For that, you have to go first _Doctor_ Macintosh." He said and Sands smirked.

Charlie frowned. "Not fair. Oh, and don't bring the fact that I'm a doctor into this. I'm not on duty."

"If you're not on duty, then why are you here?" Sands asked trying to catch her out.

"Because I thought you could use some company. You complained today that you had no one to talk to. Excuse me for trying to be nice."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

"Charlie..." Hartford said.

She huffed. "I'm sorry I threatened violence against you."

"Apology noted." Sands nodded.

Hartford huffed. "Sands..."

"I told you."

"I don't care what you do or don't do. I'm ordering you."

"She knows it's not real if I'm being forced."

"It's fine." Charlie said and the Hartford looked at her.

"What?"

"He doesn't have to apologise. I am a grown woman, I can get over it without an apology."

Sands smirked victoriously.

"Fine." Hartford said. "I hope you both remember you work for the CIA, you are not moody, name calling teenagers." He wanted to add horny but decided he'd to leave it. It'd freak them both out if he added that to their equation. He saw both nod and he nodded. "Good. Now I'm going to get some food. Anyone want something?"

The two said stuff to him at the same time again and he rolled his eyes. "I was only being nice." But he understood what they wanted so he left the room.

Both stayed silent for a while, neither knowing what to say. Charlie was chewing on the pad of her thumb and Sands was flexing his fingers.

"Hey, Mac." He said after a while and Charlie looked up at him.

"What?"

"Can I smoke?"

Charlie's eyebrows rose. "Smoke?"

"Yes, cigarettes. I haven't had a smoke in days and I want one."

"Um...no. You can't smoke in the hospital."

"I could go outside."

"How?" She asked and she couldn't believe the look on his face.

"No," She said, trying to stay strong. "You cannot do the wounded puppy dog eyes when your eyes aren't real. You can't do that. You're not even really looking at me. Stop it." He didn't and she couldn't believe how good he was. She huffed. "Fine."

She got up and so did he, smirking the entire time.

"Stop that."

* * *

"So Mac, do you smoke?" He asked as he leaned against a pillar and took a drag.

"No, I don't. My grandfather died of lung cancer when I was eighteen. Kind of put me off smoking for life." She was sitting on a bench and looking up at him. He no longer needed the bandages on his eyes, all his stitches had been taken out, he was fine. He was actually very attractive. Very. Stunningly. He could probably have had any girl he wanted, anywhere. So he was handsome, he was cool, he was probably charming when he wanted to be, he was probably treated like some sort of king with women. Now, he was going back to a very long and hard process. His life was after completely changing and here he was, standing and still being cool. Weird.

"So, I don't get it." He announced suddenly and she looked up at him.

"What?"

"I don't get it, I don't get you. You're nice to me one second and you're threatening physical bodily harm on me the next. You run hot and cold. What's up with that?"

Charlie looked across at the cars in the parking lot. "I don't know. I'm sorry for what I said to you. I'm just tired and my back hurts and I don't like losing patients and...hmm, I guess there's too much to explain but I'm sorry."

Sands walked over to where her voice was coming from and sat next to her, his cigarette finished. "So, you're just not happy."

Charlie looked at him. "I am happy."

"You're not. You just said it. Too much to explain. You don't even want to go home."

"That's because I have patients here."

"It wouldn't make a difference to those people if you treat them or if someone else treats them. In fact, they might be more relaxed if a doctor who actually works at the hospital deals with them. Someone who is fluent in Spanish. You don't want to go home because it's going back to normal. For some reason, normal makes you unhappy."

"Normal is fine for me."

"Okay sugar, whatever you say."

"Sugar? What happened to Mac?"

"Okay, Mac." Sands said avoiding her question. "I bet you don't smile."

"I smile all the time."

"Oh, I'm sure you give patients a polite smile or you smile at Trevor but I bet you never really smile. Like when you're alone, you don't smile."

"Who does?"

"I did."

"Did?"

"I don't have much to smile about now, do I?" Yet, he was still smirking.

"You smirk a lot."

"I often get the upper hand. People smirk when they do that. Plus, the smirk infuriates people. It tells them I know I'm good."

"That's why people don't feel sorry for you now."

"What?"

"I know you were thinking why I get to say anything I want or why Trevor is still the same bossy guy who shouts at you. I mean, we should all be really nice to you. You're the one lying in the hospital bed."

"I don't want people feeling sorry for me."

"Who does? You're too proud to want it but you are entitled to it. You had the eyes ripped out of your head. But a smirk tells everyone you're okay."

"Do you smirk?"

"Not a lot."

"So you're not okay?"

"We should get back inside. It's getting cold."

"It's Mexico and you're sunburnt. You're on fire."

"Only on my shoulders."

"Aw, I thought you looked like a big raspberry and people were stopping to point and laugh."

"Let's go."

Charlie led Sands back to his room where Hartford was sitting. Sands got back into the bed and Charlie resumed her position.

"Where did you two go?"

"Outside for a while." Charlie answered and Hartford looked at them suspiciously. One minute they were fighting, the next they were taking walks. He could understand if they had slipped into a broom closet somewhere but going out and actually talking?

"You two are giving me a headache." He said and he walked out of the room leaving a confused looking Charlie and Sands behind him.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	4. Pride And Prejudice

**Here's Chapter 4!**

"So what do you plan we do then?"

"We? What do you mean we? I'm not doing anything. You're the doctor."

"Trevor, this isn't my area of expertise."

"Charlie, you're a genius. Everything is your area of expertise. That's why we hired you."

"No, no, no." Charlie said. "I prescribe drugs and cut people open. I don't know anything about rehabilitation."

"Well, get learning. It should only take you about twelve seconds. Sands won't work for anyone else, I guarantee you."

"The best I can do is make some calls and maybe get someone who has experience with newly blind people. But I can't do it. I'm not qualified. Besides, that's not what I signed up for. I might get other patients."

"I will bet you a thousand dollars, you will get a call on day one by whoever you hire to deal with Sands saying they quit and Sands is unmanageable."

"Trevor, these people are professionals. They've dealt with proud people before."

"Sands isn't proud, Sands is insane."

Charlie remembered something else. "Does Sands have anywhere to go once we get off this plane?"

Trevor frowned. "His apartment?"

"He's been in Mexico for a while. You think he still has one?"

"I hope so."

"You hope so? So we could be landing in America and I'll go home and you'll go home and what? We leave Sands in the waiting area until someone takes pity on him and brings him home?"

"Wouldn't that be swell?"

"Maybe we should wake him up and ask about these things."

Trevor shrugged. "You can if you want. I'm going to take a leaf out of his book." He said, manoeuvring the leather chair to go back so he could lie more comfortably. "God, don't ya love private jets?"

Charlie huffed and got up, walking into the next compartment of the plane where Sands was also lying back, dozing.

"Sands?" She said, prodding him slightly.

"Yeah?" He replied, waking up with a jolt. "Are we there yet?"

"Not for another hour." She said, sitting down across from him. "I was just wondering what you're going to do once we get there."

Sands frowned. "I was planning on going home but if you've got any better ideas..."

"It's just...Your apartment is equipped for a person who can see. It'll probably need some adjustments."

"Why? It's not like it's been rearranged. I know where everything is."

"I know but..."

"I can live on my own. I'm not going to burn the place down or trip over the couch I forgot was there because I can no longer see it and break my neck."

"Alright, I'm sorry." Charlie said, holding her hands up. "I just wasn't sure."

"No, you were being condescending. You think that I'm completely helpless now and that you acting like you actually care means you're a good person or whatever. Sorry Mother Theresa, I'm sure you're doing the best you possibly can but that bull hockey just ain't going to be swallowed."

Charlie frowned. "Bull hockey?"

"I don't have to use offensive language all the time, you know. Swearing makes the baby Jesus cry."

Charlie huffed. "Fine, whatever. Just stop talking."

"Not so nice anymore, are ya?"

The two stayed in silence for a while before Sands smirked.

"Want to join the mile high club?"

"Shut up, Sands."

* * *

"I quit!"

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"That man is impossible to work with!" Steve, the rehabilitation teacher Charlie had assigned to Sands, shouted over the phone. "Not to mention, completely insane."

_Damn. I wonder will Trevor actually want that thousand..._

"Steve, you're a professional and he's just lost his sight. You've never dealt with someone who wasn't comfortable with this before?"

"No, uncomfortable I could work with. Unwilling I could work with. Rude, aggressive, fine. My job is to assess and evaluate independent living needs, people's abilities, teaching the skills they need to live independently and more importantly psychosocial judgement. Well you know what I've garnered? He is a psycho! I'm sorry, Charlie but this guy doesn't need a rehabilitation coach, he needs a straight jacket."

"Steve, he needs you. You're the best." Charlie sighed.

"Well I've just found my breaking point. Goodbye."

With that, Steve hung up the phone.

"Fantastic..."

Charlie put the phone down before picking it up again and dialling a new number.

"Ahoy-hoy."

"Who are you trying to be? Mr. Burns?"

"I'll have you know that Alexander Graham Bell, the inventor of the telephone, used that greeting. It was that hack Edison who came up with hello and ruined a perfectly fun way to answer the phone."

"You bullied your rehab coach into quitting?"

"I wasn't done. Hello actually originated from the word 'hallo' or 'hullo' which was used as an exclamation of surprise which is why people still say 'hello, what have we got here?'"

"Are you insane?"

"You like learning about words and they class you insane."

"Yeah, insane or a two year old."

"No, I get classed as a two year old because of my Spongebob Squarepants pyjamas."

"Lovely."

"The chicks love 'em."

"You are insane."

"That's up for discussion."

"Sands!" Charlie said, remember why she called. "Steve was trying to help you."

"I don't need help. Once again, killed four people. Was only shot three times. If I can manage that, I think I can manage ordering take out. Actually, that doesn't sound so bad right about now..."

"Sands, don't hang up."

"Ta-ta."

Charlie heard a click and a beep before groaning tiredly. She put down the phone but straight away, it rang again.

"Hello?"

"Steve just called. You owe me a thousand bucks. Should I just come to your office now or..."

"Goodbye Trevor."

* * *

Sands frowned when there was a knock on his door later that night.

_I don't like people knowing where I live._

He got up and went to the door. "Who is it?"

"Charlie." He heard from the other side.

"What do you want?"

"I have something for you."

Sands frowned before smirking. "Ooh, a surprise? Is it pretty? And hopefully disease free?"

"It's not a prostitute."

"I was talking about you."

"Open the door!" He heard Charlie say angrily.

"My, someone is desperate for some blind lovin'." He said, opening the door. He frowned when he felt something brush against his leg.

"I didn't get him for that so if you try, I'll have to bring him back." He heard Charlie say.

"Mac, what breathing, hairy thing did you bring in to my life?"

"Hey, I already said it wasn't a prostitute."

Sands wasn't finding her joking funny. "Mac."

Charlie sighed. "Fine. It's a seeing eye dog. Called Buster."

Sands nodded. "Well you and Buster gots to go. I don't want a dog."

"Oh yeah? How are you going to move around the city? You might know this apartment like the back of your hand but outside has cars and people and you will need help. Don't worry, Buster is the best of the best. And he's happy. So, you know...don't ruin that."

Sands huffed. "I'll release him into traffic."

"Oh please, your only friend in Mexico was a ten year old boy. I think you get along best with children and dogs so this should be fine. Anyway, Buster is trained to avoid traffic."

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because you're my patient and the CIA is paying."

Sands smirked. "You're doing this to beat me, aren't you?"

Charlie shrugged. "Don't know what you mean."

"I mean, I insist that I don't need rehab and can live perfectly fine on my own and show you your prejudices and politically correct guilt and now you're intent on proving you were right and how you're actually only being understanding of my poor, poor state and not being some overcaring sap."

Charlie smirked. "I'm going home, Sands. Buy dog food."

"You know I'm right."

"We'll see." Charlie said, about to leave the apartment. She opened the door but paused, turning back. "Are you listening to the Wicked soundtrack?"

"If you know it just by hearing a few lines, it means you're a fan too."

Charlie smiled. "Original broadway cast?"

"Is there any other kind?"

Charlie shook her head. "You're a strange man, Sands."

"Hey." Sands said defensively. "You know, you're the kind of people she sings about in Defying Gravity."

"Goodnight." Charlie said, leaving and closing the door behind her.

Sands turned back to his apartment. "Buster?"

He soon heard a pitter patter come up to him.

"So," Sands sighed. "Is she hot?"

The dog let out a little whine.

"Perfect."

* * *

**When I read Johnny Depp saying Sands had a sideline obsession with broadway, I may have died of how awesome that is for a second. **

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	5. Risk

**Here's Chapter 5!**

"Hello?"

"What happened to ahoy hoy?"

If Sands had proper eyes, he would have rolled them. "What do you want?"

Charlie frowned. "What's the matter with you?"

"I'm having a bit of a bad day."

"What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I have no eyes, that could be a bit of a downer."

"That's why I tried to get you a rehabilitation coach. He could help you."

"God, you're annoying. And still not telling me what you want."

Charlie did roll her eyes. "I'm checking in on Buster."

"He's fine."

"Is he being dependable?"

"I haven't actually tried him out yet."

Charlie frowned. "Sands, I gave you the dog a week ago. You haven't left your apartment in a week?"

"I've been busy."

"Doing what?"

"Redecorating. Now that I can't see it, I can use bright colours in the bedroom and it won't give me a headache." He said sarcastically.

"Sands, that dog needs..."

"I may be blind but I'm still capable of keeping a dog alive, you know."

"I do know but you don't want him. From what I've heard about you, you only do what you want."

Sands smirked. "You've been enquiring about me, Mac?"

"Well I like to get to know my patients and you don't really give anything away."

"And what did you learn?"

"You're incredibly difficult to work with."

"But you knew that already."

"Yes I did." Charlie said. "I also wanted to see how you're doing."

"Couldn't be better. Well I could but that gift of sight you were promising isn't really showing up."

"I'm working on it. I got you the dog to help..."

"Stop saying help."

Charlie huffed. "I got the dog to assist..."

"Nope."

"He's there for a reason!"

"You know what would be better than a seeing eye dog? The ability to actually see. I thought you were on the look out for eye donations?"

Charlie sighed. "I am but nothing is coming up. But don't give up hope yet. It's still early days."

"Early days? That implies I'm going to be like this for a while."

"I'm sorry but you might be."

"Shut up apologising. It's like a reflex with you..."

"Is that Sands?"

Sands heard Hartford's voice on the other line and hung up quickly.

Charlie frowned into her phone before putting it down. "It was. He just hung up on me."

"Damnit." Hartford said. "I've been trying to get a hold of him for days."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'd say he knows it's me and not answering."

"Why would he do that?"

"I'm not calling for a nice reason. Sands didn't trip and have his eyes fall out in Mexico. He was doing something down there to piss a lot of powerful people off. I've tried talking to his contacts down there but apparently they were all on a need to know basis."

"All of them?"

"Actually, all of them are dead. Except one. And if he knows anything, he's not letting on which leads me to believe if Sands was doing something wrong, he had people risking themselves too so they couldn't rat him out without ratting themselves out."

"Clever."

"Up until the eye gauging. Anyway, now it's time for Sands to come in and answer to the bosses but he can't do that..."

"Unless you tell him to."

"He's quite good at getting out of these things."

Charlie nodded. "Well in my opinion, hold it off. I was just talking to him and he doesn't sound too good."

Hartford raised an eyebrow. "The CIA doesn't really work like that, Charlie. We don't postpone questioning agents who may have tried to sabotage a mission because he's feeling a little blue. Sands is going to have to face the fact that if he loses his job, that's the best case scenario. Anyway, he can't expect to keep it when he's blind."

Charlie shrugged. "Okay but I was thinking..."

"Stop that."

Charlie frowned. "Stop what?"

"You're a bit too focused on him."

"He's my patient. My only patient." Charlie said. "I have to be focused on him. It's my job."

"No one told you to go out and get him a dog."

"That shouldn't have been my job anyway but no one around here seems to care that an agent under their medical care is in need of it. Everyone's ignoring this case but you and me so yeah; I'm working a little harder than I normally would."

"Everybody is ignoring this case because no one wanted Sands to come back. This is very much a makeshift case. We're working with what we've got which is you."

"So of course I'm going to be involved."

"Be involved. As a surgeon. You're not his therapist and you're definitely not his friend. Don't try to become one."

"I'm not trying to but it has to affect him. The man lost his eyes. I'm just trying to keep him stable."

"Sands has never been stable."

"Sands needs someone to help him right now, no matter what he says. I'm his doctor and I'm committed to my job."

"Charlie, you know the rules."

"What rules?"

"Inter office romances aren't allowed. You become too committed and you'll lose your job."

Charlie looked at him, outraged. "I am capable of helping a patient in need without getting into his bed, Trevor."

"You know he planned it."

"I know it wouldn't have worked."

"I'm just saying, be careful. Sands is quite good at manipulation."

"I thought he wasn't good at anything anymore?"

Trevor looked at her. "Don't get attached to him, Macintosh. I don't want to have to fire you."

Charlie sighed. "You try to be nice to a blind guy and you lose your job. Fantastic."

"We don't pay you to be nice. We pay you to be smart."

"Then trust me to know what I'm doing."

"It's him I don't trust."

* * *

Sands huffed when there was a knock on his door. He got up to answer it and heard Buster walk after him.

"If you're supposed to be so useful, why can't you answer doors?"

Sands opened the door. "Mac, good to see ya."

Charlie frowned. "How did you know it was me?"

"You're the only person who knows where I live and would abuse that knowledge."

Charlie walked further into the apartment and her eyes widened. "Thank God. This place is a mess. How are you living like this?"

The apartment was filled with empty take out boxes, clothes and all manners of mess.

"How am I supposed to clean? I'm blind."

Charlie resisted the urge to remind him that he could be capable if he tried. "Hire a cleaning lady."

"No, thanks. Why are you here?"

"You didn't sound so good today. I wanted to see how you were."

_And prove that I'm capable of being committed without getting too attached._

"Dandy. Bye now."

"Sands, if you're not in the right state, I can't perform surgery."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Of course I can't. That's why we have consultations."

"You want to have a consultation, alright then. Come on." Sands said, going to leave.

Charlie frowned. "Where are you going?"

"You want to see how I'm doing, let's go to where I'm comfortable."

"Where's that?"

* * *

"Any lookers?"

"You're wearing glasses inside, at night. No one wants to talk to you."

Sands huffed. "You're a terrible wing man. I have a dog, that should bring sympathy."

"Yeah, when I said you should walk Buster, I didn't mean to a bar."

Sands shrugged as he took another drink. "You didn't specify, that's your fault."

Charlie shook her head, amused when remembering Sands bringing the dog in and making a scene when he was told a dog couldn't be brought into the bar. "I can't believe they let you bring him in here."

"I'm blind. I need him." Sands smirked.

"I thought you didn't want sympathy anyway?"

"Not from you. With a woman who is so touched by my plight that touching will definitely be involved, sympathy is my friend."

Charlie grimaced. "I can't believe you were annoyed at me today for not hurrying up and tonight you're using being blind to cruise for women."

"Got work with what I got. How's Buster looking?"

Charlie looked down at the dog. "He's fine."

"Not sad?"

"No."

"Damnit."

"You are a horrible human being!" Charlie said but couldn't help but laugh.

"Definitely a terrible wing man."

Charlie huffed with a smile. "Why am I still here? I have a life."

"Now there's a joke."

She looked at him with wide eyes as he calmly kept drinking. "Excuse me?"

Sands turned to her with a smirk. "I bet your life consists of work, work, more work, pissing me off and work."

Charlie smirked back; a bit annoyed he didn't know she was doing it. "You don't know anything about me, Sands."

"Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't read people. If you're so smart then it means you were a gifted girl child which means that you flew through school faster than a speeding bullet. How many friends can you make when you're graduating high school at seven?"

"Funny. You are definitely not one to judge."

"I never said I had a fulfilling life. I did. Not so much anymore."

"You could if you tried."

"What do you want me to do? Go to the movies? Read books?"

"Your life is not over just because you can't see."

"If you give me one more lecture about the joys of life, I swear to God I'm going to jump into the river just to spite you. You are..." Sands was cut off when Charlie's phone rang again. "Does that ever stop?"

Charlie picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe."

Charlie cursed inwardly. Not only because she had told her boyfriend, Barry not to call her that countless times but also because she really didn't want her life away from Sands around him. "Hey."

"Where are you?"

Charlie looked around at the dingy bar. "Work."

"This late?"

"Life of a doctor."

Sands frowned as he drank. He had forgotten about the fact that she had a boyfriend. And that she was now reminded of that fact too threw a spanner into the works. Sands had decided the minute that she said a psych consult was to be carried out for him to get eyes that he had to put his old plan back into action. He needed her to need to do it. So he decided to throw her off by pretending to look for other women while secretly trying to get a few drinks into her.

Charlie was up from her seat now and away from Sands. "I'm a doctor Barry. You can't blow off work when you're a doctor."

"But I never see you anymore."

"I know. I'm sorry but I have a patient that...demands a lot of my time. It's a very special case."

"Like what?"

"You know I can't divulge cases."

"Who am I going to tell? You can trust me."

"I know that but I still can't tell you. It's confidential."

"I knew I should have become a doctor. At least then I'd actually be able to spend time with you."

Charlie sighed. "I know. I'm an awful girlfriend."

"Well, I knew what I was signing up for, I suppose."

Charlie frowned. "Oh thank you."

"What? You admitted it yourself. I mean, I haven't seen you in days."

"You saw me three days ago when I did your grocery shopping."

"Oh very romantic."

"You are completely free to do it yourself from now on."

"So I'm not allowed ask you for favours anymore?"

"I never said that."

"God Charlie, this is so typical of you. You work all the time, you're never there for me when I need you to be and now you're being smart with me. You're completely selfish!"

Charlie rolled her eyes at his tone. "I gotta go. Goodbye."

"Charlie, don't han..."

Charlie disconnected the call with a huff.

"Who was that guy?"

Charlie jumped and turned when she realised Sands was right behind her.

"You were listening to my conversation?"

"Yes I was."

Charlie rolled her eyes, returning to her seat as Sands did the same. "Oh, no one. Boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend is a no one?"

"I just meant it was no one important in concern to you."

"Do I remember correctly you saying you've been with him for ten years?"

"Yup."

"You've put up with that for ten years?"

Charlie was shocked. "Put up with what?"

"Oh come on, Mac. China could hear him shouting at you like that."

Charlie grew embarrassed. "He's probably just having a bad day."

Sands smirked. "I'd say every day is a bad day with that guy."

"That's not fair. He can be really nice."

"I'm sure. Ten years ago. Let me try something here. I think we've established that in high school and college, you were a pariah. No friends and definitely no guys coming to knock at your door. I bet you were both introduced by your parents."

"So?"

"Probably your mom desperately trying to get her braniac daughter to be normal for a change. You two meet, get along, you finally feel validated, the nerdy girl, that being you, sugar, soon starts swooning over him and soon you two actually start dating. You can't believe your luck. The relationship starts off going really well, he's really sweet and you stay together even when you keep moving up in advanced classes in college and get scouted by Mensa and all that crap. Then you get a job while he's still figuring out the square root of nine. In fact, I bet you're so scared that no other guy will ever want you that you never fight, always admit you're wrong and will do anything to please Mr. Man even if he's not so nice any more. Just because he made you feel like a normal girl for five minutes. Now, ten years later, he doesn't treat you well anymore but those fears and feelings of owing him stay with you even though you're now Successful Doctor Woman. You feel you owe him for acknowledging you while you're scared that if he leaves you, no one else will want you. Am I close?"

Charlie was speechless. He had just described her life and her feelings now perfectly. "How did you...What?"

Sands chuckled. "Maybe I was wrong about the genius part. But don't forget, I'm designed to read people."

Charlie felt indignant. "I am not scared."

"You are."

"I do not feel I owe him anything."

"You do."

"This is ridiculous."

"So is your boyfriend and the situation you're allowing yourself get stuck in. For a really smart woman, you sure are dumb. But I suppose that could be chalked down to naivety."

Charlie got up. "I'm leaving. Goodbye."

"So you're going to leave me here alone to wallow and feel depressed because I'm blind and the only person who cares doesn't even want to be around me?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't want sympathy from me?"

Sands shrugged. "Who are you going home to? Your boyfriend is all mad at you anyway. Might as well stay here and drink your sorrows with me. I'm paying."

Charlie tried to convince herself to leave but eventually sat back down. "Fine."

"Good girl."

* * *

"Why am I the blind one and I'm guiding you?"

"Sands, you don't have to." Charlie said, not knowing why he was holding onto her. "I'm fine."

"Sure you are."

"No, I actually am fine." Charlie frowned.

"Shh, sugar."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to hail you a cab?"

"Hey, I have a dog. Might as well use him."

Charlie nodded and hailed a cab for herself. She turned back to Sands. "Call Trevor."

"I told you that wasn't happening."

"You will have to face him sooner or later."

"Later."

Charlie shook her head. "Goodnight Sands."

"You know, the night is still young. We could make it very good."

"No."

"Why not?"

"I'm your doctor."

"Not right now. You're not at work."

"Sands, you said you'd stop this."

"Come on, I lucked out in there. Can't blame a guy for trying to pull his last resource."

"How romantic."

"I didn't say anything about romance. I'm frustrated; your boyfriend is an asshole, what's stopping us?" He smirked, getting closer to her.

Charlie put her hand on his chest to stop him. "I am."

"You're not even considering it?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not. Sands, it is not happening. If you want someone to talk to, I'm happy to be there but I'm not risking anything for you."

"Harsh."

"It's the truth and you need to know it now. Goodnight."

"Night, Mac." Sands replied, stepping away from her.

Charlie nodded and got into the cab. The cab took off and she sighed.

_Besides the end, tonight was actually kind of fun._

_But he cannot think he has a chance to get me into bed. I am stronger than that. _

_If circumstances were different though..._

_No! The circumstances are what they are and I can't consider it. I have to prove Trevor and him wrong. Stupid chauvinistic men thinking that just because I'm a woman, I'm weak. _

_I'm going to prove them wrong. All wrong!_

Charlie frowned at her frazzled thought process.

_Okay, I may be a little drunk...

* * *

_

**Sorry for the late update, I started college again this week. Hectic! I'll upload sooner next time! :)**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	6. The Upper Hand

**Here's Chapter 6!**

Charlie was sitting at her desk a week later, filling out paperwork. She frowned when she heard a scratching at her door so got up to check but before she could, the door opened and she saw Buster with his front paws on the handle.

Charlie couldn't help but smile at the dog. "You're supposed to help your master get from place to place, not break into offices."

"Who said anything about breaking in? That's in next week's lesson." Sands walked into the office. "Hey Mac, long time, no hear."

"I've been busy, Sands."

"On who? I'm your only patient." Charlie watched as he felt his way around, eventually making his way to her chair and sitting in it, putting his feet up. "You don't deal with anyone but me."

Charlie leant against her table. "About that..."

"About that, what?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well," Charlie said. "I was thinking of asking to be put on another case."

"What?" Sands sat up quickly. "No."

"I'd still be on your case but right now...there isn't much of one." Charlie explained. "I mean, I thought with your rehab, I'd at least be examining and checking up on you and reporting and things like that but since you refuse to do anything, your case is kinda on hiatus until a donation comes along and I'm itching to get back to a surgery. I mean, I don't want to be rusty when I finally get you in there, do I?"

This wasn't Sands' plan at all. She was supposed to be fawning over him and acting like she was trying to be his saviour, not tossing him to the side until she needed him again. That was his job!

"I thought you were working on that simulator thingy?" He asked. "To help get you ready for my surgery?"

"I am." Charlie assured. "But I can work on that and another case."

"Is this because of last week?"

Charlie stood up straight. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm talking about we went out, you enjoyed yourself and then you didn't speak to me for a week whereas I couldn't get rid of you before it."

Charlie sighed. "You came onto me and..."

"So?"

"So you're my patient and there has to be boundaries. I should have never..."

"What? We didn't do anything."

"Not for lack of you trying."

"I try with a lot of women."

"Charming." Charlie said. "But the fact of the matter is you disregarded the fact that I'm your doctor, we work at an agency with zero tolerance of this kind of thing and I have a boyfriend."

Sands rolled his head back. "Okay, of all the arguments you could use, the boyfriend one is not one of them."

"It's a very valid reason."

"He could have been standing right next to us and I would have tried."

"That's the problem."

Sands stood up. "It's not a problem."

"Of course it is."

"Nope. You assume that because I came onto you, it means I have feelings for you which ain't the case, sugar. I went to a bar to find a woman, didn't find one so I used the resources I had at my disposal."

"I just think..."

"For fuck's sake, I don't want you to do anything but work on my case!" Sands yelled, getting frustrated over these turns of events. He quickly regretted it though as his frustration had just given her the upper hand.

Charlie was about to answer but her phone rang.

"I'll throw that phone out the window one of these days..." Sands muttered.

"It's my office phone." Charlie said, going to answer it. "Hello?"

"Is Sands up there?"

Charlie frowned at Trevor's question before looking at Sands, who had also heard and was now signalling for her to say no. Charlie then remembered that Sands was avoiding a meeting with the bosses.

"Charlie, is he with you? Security said he's in the building."

Charlie bit her lip. "No, he's not. If I see him, I'll let you know."

Trevor huffed. "Thanks."

Charlie put down the phone and Sands frowned. "Why did you do that?"

"To prove that you can trust me." Charlie said. "So you know that even though I'll have other patients from time to time, my main focus will still be helping you."

Sands nodded. "Hmmm, well that reeks of complete bullshit. See ya."

He took Buster and began to leave but Charlie frowned. "How are you going to leave? You're being looked for."

"Don't worry about it." Sands said before leaving. "See ya, Mac. Well not really."

Sands left and Charlie sighed before going back to her desk and getting back to work.

Later that day, she got an interesting phone call.

"Doctor Macintosh? This is Doctor Goldman from Mount Mercy hospital."

"Can I help you?" Charlie asked.

"I'm calling to enquire about a patient of yours, Sheldon Sands."

Charlie frowned. "Is he okay?"

"I shall be handling his case from now on so I will need you to fax over his file as soon as possible."

_Wait! What?_

Who did this guy think he was? This was Charlie's case! "There must be some mistake. Agent Sands is my patient."

"Mister Sands came to my office today and discussed his case with me." Goldman said. "He said he would prefer if I were to carry on his treatment and I accepted. It would be great for the hospital to have a case like this."

"Yes it would but unfortunately for you, it's going to great for anywhere I work." Charlie said. "It's staying my case."

"Agent Sands has decided to go private for his surgery and so that means he gets to decide who performs it. He's chosen me. I'm sorry if this doesn't suit you but it's his decision. Please forward his details onto me as soon as you can. Good day."

Goldman hung up the phone, leaving Charlie livid.

* * *

Sands smirked when he heard the banging on his door.

"Sooner than I expected."

He got up and went to the door but didn't open it. "Who is it?"

"Sands, let me in!"

"You sound quite angry. I don't know if I should." Sands said with a broad smile.

"Sands!"

Sands opened the door. "Mac, you sound upset."

"Upset? You have no idea what I'm going to do to you!"

"Sounds promising." Sands smirked as he closed the door behind her.

"What the hell, Sands? I refuse to sleep with you and your punishment is to fire me as your doctor?"

"You see, this is why I decided a change was in order." He said. "I feel you're too preoccupied with sex."

"What?" She shouted. "I'm the one who's too preoccupied with sex?"

"You keep bringing it up. It made me feel uncomfortable."

"I can't believe you're doing this! I thought..."

"What?" Sands asked. "What did you think? That we were friends? That I felt I owed you? You did your job and when I didn't feel you had my best interests in mind, I went elsewhere."

"Wait, this is about me wanting to take another patient from time to time?"

"You see, not everything is about sex. Although, now that you're not my doctor, it can be."

Sands was a little surprised when she slapped him.

"You have some nerve taking that surgery away from me then trying to come onto me."

Sands smirked. "So that's what you're upset over? Not that I didn't trust you but I took away your shot at glory. Sorry Mac but my eye sockets are not a pedestal for you to place yourself on."

"That doesn't make sense, you moron!"

"It makes perfect sense." Sands shrugged.

"What do you think the CIA is going to do when they find out you're doing this?"

"And how are you going to tell them?" Sands asked. "You haven't heard from me in weeks, remember? Unless you go and tell Trevor you were lying. I'm sure you wouldn't get into much trouble although lying for a patient that switched doctors because he was feeling uncomfortable around you? Doesn't sound great."

Charlie was in shock, not only because of what he was doing but because she just realised how close they were to each other. Their bodies were nearly pressed against each other's. "You came onto me, not the other way around."

"Oh and I'm sure everyone will believe that, no problem but the fact that you never reported it, that you were out socially with me in the first place and you lied about me being in the building today all lead to questions you don't want being asked."

"I have nothing to hide."

Sand chuckled, flicking her shirt. "Oh, really?"

Charlie slapped his hand away. "Screw you, Sands."

"You should have when you had the chance."

Charlie huffed and began to walk out of the apartment.

"Wait a second." Sands said.

"For what?"

"My deal."

Charlie turned. "What deal?"

"I'll let you be my doctor again."

"Oh really?"

"Really. I'll even do the rehab and all that shit."

Charlie frowned. "Why would you do that?"

"If you're the one who's doing it. No coach, no therapist, no other patients, just you and me."

"I couldn't..."

"You get the first eye transplant surgery in America if you teach me not to walk into walls." Sands said. "It's a good deal, Mac."

Charlie stood up straight. He thought he was going to beat her? Not a chance. "Deal."

"Nice doing business with ya."

Charlie smirked. "We'll see."

She left the apartment and Sands sagged. He hadn't been that close to a woman in what felt like years and the amount of tension that had just built up between them? It hadn't done him any favours.

_This will definitely be interesting._

_

* * *

_

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**_  
_


	7. Satisfaction

**Here's Chapter 7!**

"You couldn't wear something a bit less...officey?"

Charlie sighed. "I was at work, Barry. I have to dress like this. Doctors can't go around in ripped jeans."

"You couldn't have gotten changed before meeting me? It looks like you're my mom."

"Seeing as I'm two years younger than you, I would hope not." Charlie said. "So where are we going?"

Barry frowned. "Wherever you want, I suppose."

Charlie stopped and looked at him. "You made a reservation somewhere, didn't you?"

"I thought you did."

"You're the one who wanted to go out! I was going home!"

"I asked you yesterday!"

"I thought you had made plans!"

Barry huffed. "Well, maybe we can still get in somewhere."

"Everywhere that doesn't serve fast food needs to have a reservation."

"Could you stop bitching at me for five seconds?"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I'm going home." She said, walking away. She really didn't feel like arguing in the street.

"Charlie, come on." Barry said, grabbing her arm. "You can't be mad at me."

"I'm still going home." She said. "I'm tired and we'll be waiting forever to get in somewhere so..."

Charlie stopped when Barry's eyes widened and he took a step back. She turned to see what he was looking at and saw a man wearing a cap to cover his face and his jacket collar up. But more importantly, his hand in his pocket looked like it could be holding a gun.

"Okay, just give me your purse and wallet and nothing's gonna happen." He said.

Charlie was very aware of the fact that her boyfriend was currently standing behind her. What was she, his shield?

"Okay." Barry said, handing over his wallet. "Here."

The mugger opened it and wasn't very happy with its contents. He looked up at them. "Not good enough."

"Oh, I'm sorry, are you not happy with the service we're providing?" Charlie asked sarcastically.

"Charlie, shut up!" Barry whispered. "Give him your purse."

Charlie looked back at him, shocked. "You're actually just helping him out now."

"Hand it over, lady."

Charlie huffed and gave him her purse. He snatched it and in doing so, caught sight of her wrist. "And the bracelet."

Charlie looked down at the diamond bracelet her father had given her for her sixteenth birthday. "No, you can't take that."

"Excuse me?"

"You have my purse. That's not good enough? This has sentimental value."

"Charlie," Barry said. "Just give him the damn bracelet."

Charlie looked back at him with a frown before sighing. "Fine." She said, taking it off. "Here."

The man took it and gave an oily smirk. "Enjoy your evening."

He ran off and Charlie stalked away, Barry following her. "Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Charlie said sarcastically. "I was just used as a human shield and shouted at to aid a mugger but I'm fine."

"Charlie, he had a gun."

"You don't know that. He could have been bluffing."

"And that's a risk I wasn't willing to take."

"You weren't taking any risk! You were hiding behind me!"

"He came up to face you. I didn't move because he might have thought I was..."

"Don't." Charlie said. "I'm going home."

"You're not going to go to the police?"

It was then that Charlie realised she would have to alert her bosses at the CIA about the robbery seeing as she had her I.D. in her purse, having come straight from work and that information wasn't supposed to get out.

She stopped with a sigh. "Damnit."

Barry frowned. "What?"

Barry couldn't know Charlie worked for the CIA just like no one could. Which made her purse getting taken much more serious.

"Charlie?"

Charlie huffed and began walking away again, realising she couldn't even tell him the truth about her job. "Nothing."

* * *

"That's it. I'm taking a break."

"No." Charlie said. "I decide when we take a break and you have it finish...Sands!"

Sands had already sat down on the bench next to Buster and obviously wasn't listening to her. She sighed and walked over to him. "Look, I know you're not loving this but I'm not doing it to annoy you..."

"And yet you still manage to. You're a very multi talented woman."

"Sands..."

"Look, I'm working. And now I'm taking a break. So you can either stand there and complain at me or you can sit down and relax with me."

Charlie sighed and sat down too. Through these sessions, she'd learned that at any given opportunity he could find, no matter how small, Sands would take it as a reason to stop working and she had yet to ever convince him to continue once he'd decided he was done. So why try?

"What's wrong with you anyway?"

Charlie frowned. "Nothing's wrong."

"You're distracted." Sands observed. "And you have been all day. I could have taken the fake eyeballs out of my head and juggled them in front of you and you wouldn't have noticed."

"I'm fine."

"Yeah, right. A blind man could see you're not paying attention. Oh wait..."

"Seriously, nothing is wrong."

"Then why are you acting like someone's gone and killed your puppy?"

Charlie frowned at him as he stroked Buster's ear. "That's awful."

"It's also not true. Unless, you know, someone did kill your puppy."

"No one killed any puppies! My God..."

"So?"

"Why do you care?"

"There's a fine line between caring and curiosity." Sands said. "And I'm nowhere near it. Miles away from it. My feet are firmly in curiosity land."

Charlie huffed, not knowing why his weird little rambling made a hint of a smile come to her face but she quickly made it disappear. "If you must know, I was mugged last night. And the guy got my CIA information so I'm kind of worried."

"How did he get that?"

"He took my purse which had my I.D. in it."

"Well...that was stupid."

Charlie glared at him. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Eh...Not give him the purse which held top secret information which you should have on your person at all times if you're going to be carrying it around?"

"I'm getting lessons in proper workmanship from you? My God, I really did mess up."

"Sure did."

"He had a gun." Charlie said, feeling a bit of a hypocrite for using the same excuse as Barry did last night.

"Did you see the gun?"

"No."

"Stupid."

Charlie huffed. "Because risking it wouldn't have been?"

"If you don't see it, it doesn't exist." Sands said. "Which causes some problems for my day to day but let's not get into that right now. Where did it happen?"

"Over by the South Mall."

Sands chuckled. "Mac, I've been in Mexico for God knows how long and even I know that place is ripe with big bad men looking to prey on lonely little women like yourself. It's your own fault."

"Thank you for your compassion." She said sarcastically. "I'm fine by the way."

"Why do you deserve compassion and why the hell are you looking for it from me?" Sands asked. "You walked through a dangerous street on your own in the middle of the night and you got robbed. If you weren't expecting that to happen, more fool you."

"I wasn't alone." Charlie said, knowing this would probably add fuel to the fire but was sick of him thinking she was naive. "I was with Barry."

"Did they steal him too?"

"No. They took his wallet."

Sands laughed. "Regular knight in shining armour."

"Oh please, like you would have done any differently."

"I'm a loner who drinks with a smart mouth. You don't think I've ever been in a similar situation?"

Charlie frowned, surprised he was even telling her this. "You have? What did you do?"

"Shot the guy."

"You shot him?"

"I did see his gun. And I work for the CIA so that gives me leeway to shoot people who pose a threat. Or who might pose a threat. Or who had the gun planted on them afterwards. It's a very gray area...The point is your boyfriend is a ridiculous human being and the fact that you're with him really loses you respect."

Charlie glared at him. "If I wasn't your doctor, I would leave you here to deal with everything on your own."

Sands smiled. "Well you can't, you're stuck with me. Just like you feel you're stuck with him."

"I'm not stuck with anyone. I can leave whenever I like."

"So you've considered it?"

"I never said that."

"You should." Sands said before standing up.

"Where are you going?" Charlie asked.

"I'm hungry. Are you coming?"

Charlie stood up. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Make some out of order comments on my personal life then just go completely casual again."

Sands frowned. "Because it's the truth?"

"How would you know? You overhear one phone call and you think you've got it all figured out?"

"Pretty much. You know, seeing as it used to be my job to figure things out with as little information as possible. Though anyone could have sussed out your personal life from that overheard phone call."

"Why do you care enough to pass judgement on what I do?"

"It's fun?"

Charlie didn't know if this was appropriate to ask but if the answer was 'yes', she'd need to know before things got too far. "Are you jealous?"

Sands smirked. "Well you really are full of yourself, aren't you?"

"I just don't see why you keep going on about it. I mean, you come onto me and when I turn you down, all of a sudden I'm this sad, pathetic woman in a loveless relationship."

Sands kept his smirk. "Your words, not mine."

"So, are you?"

Sands walked closer to her. "Do you want me to be?"

"No."

"Do you think I am?"

"I don't know."

"You wouldn't have asked if you didn't."

"I'm curious."

"I'm not jealous." He said, feeling close to her.

"You're not?"

"No. Because I think if I really tried and under the right circumstances, such as you and me alone, emotions running high, yours not mine obviously and the right amount of tension, I wouldn't need to be jealous."

Charlie tried to keep her composure seeing as he was now quite close to her and his words were anything but safe."You wouldn't?"

"No. So why bother?"

"You're not as suave as you think you are. And you definitely don't have as much power over me as you think."

"Although you have yet to walk away from me when I'm inappropriately close to you."

Charlie ignored her heart beating against her chest. "If I do that, you'll think you've gotten to me."

"So what? We're playing sexual harassment chicken? First one to back off loses?"

Charlie was about to reply when her phone went off. She looked at it before walking away from Sands to answer it. "Hello?"

"Are you still mad at me?"

Charlie looked at Sands quickly when she heard Barry's voice. "Oh...I...I don't know."

Sands frowned and walked up behind her quietly.

"Look, let me take you out tonight." Barry said.

"I don't know." Charlie replied. "I'm quite tired and..."

"Come on babe, I've made the reservation myself and everything." Barry said. "Alexander's at eight."

Charlie sighed. "Okay. I have to go. Bye." She said before hanging up the phone.

"Why so uncomfortable if there's nothing going on?" Sands asked, making her jump and turn quickly.

"I wasn't uncomfortable." Charlie said. "And you have no right to be listening into my conversations."

Sands smirked. "Wouldn't it just be terribly awkward if you ran into a patient during your little date?"

Charlie's eyes widened. "Sands..."

"At eight, did he say?"

"You wouldn't."

Sands shrugged, obviously enjoying himself. "You see that's the thing with us unstable types. You just never know. Well, if we're done here, I gotta get going. Big plans. See you tomorrow, Mac." He said, taking Buster and walking out. "Or sooner. Who knows?"

He left and Charlie grimaced.

_This could be a problem.

* * *

_

Charlie walked into the bar and sat down. Barry had been true to his word, making the reservation for his 'apology dinner' at the right time and the right place and everything. It was showing up that he seemed to have the problem with. She had waited for an hour before the embarrassment became too much and she just went to the bar across the street.

_Why make me go out when I'm exhausted and then not turn up? Not that I should be surprised._

"Vodka, please." Charlie ordered and was surprised when she heard chuckling from the corner of the bar.

"I really would have pegged you for a white wine kind of girl."

Charlie looked over. "Sands."

"Hey Mac. Drinking on a work night, not very professional."

"What are you doing here?"

"Hey, I was here before you."

"At the bar across the street across from the restaurant I was going to and nowhere near where you live."

"I hear good things." Sands smirked. "Boyfriend didn't show up then? How unexpected."

Charlie realised why he was here in this bar instead of the one he had brought her to before. "Well done, you predicted correctly."

"Thank ya. It always makes me very uberly special when I get praise, you know."

"Well, that's good for you."

"What can I say? It's a rare occasion."

"And whose fault is that?"

"Everyone's but mine?"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "If you put as much work into your rehab as you do trying to annoy me, you'd get praise all the time."

"That's a good way to get me working but..."

"But?"

Sands walked over and sat on the stool next to hers at the bar. "Could be better."

"I bet." Charlie said, taking a sip of her drink.

"Just imagine it, sugar." Sands was close enough to her already but he leaned in and spoke quietly into her ear so only she could hear. "Me and you getting a real workout. Getting all sweaty, panting, heart rates getting faster..."

Charlie tried to ignore the feeling Sands breath on her ear gave her or the effect his words were having. "Sands, I'm your doctor."

"Well, it's your duty to fix me good."

Deciding to beat him at his own game, Charlie turned to him. "It is, isn't it?" Her tone was low and husky and she brought her foot to stroke up Sands leg. "To make sure you're well looked after, you know, perfectly satisfied with my work."

She was satisfied to see Sands tense up but his smirk quickly returned. "Yup, that's your job."

She leaned into him a little closer and she placed her hand on his thigh. "Is that what you want, Sands? For me to really satisfy you? And I mean, really satisfy."

Their lips were only inches apart now. "Oh yeah, sugar. That is exactly what I want."

Quick as a flash, Charlie had turned back to the bar, her foot and hand gone from Sands and her face turned away from his. "Then maybe you should actually do some work for a change. If you don't work, I can't help you."

"No Mac, that's not even..."

"Sorry Sands, if you want to be satisfied with the results, you need to put in the effort."

Sands smirked. "I'd put a lot of effort into satisfaction."

Charlie smirked back at him. "Put a lot of effort into your rehab and I'll be satisfied. Otherwise, you're just all talk to me."

"Wanna get out of here?"

Charlie looked over in shock at the still smirking Sands. "No Sands."

"Come on, you can't deny that there's sexual tension here, otherwise you would have already walked away from me. Many times."

"I'm your doctor."

"We're not in the middle of work hours now."

"Oh, so you want me to be some girl you picked up in a bar and then we go back to normal tomorrow? No thanks."

"Why not? We just go, have a good time that we'll both enjoy; I guarantee you and no strings."

"Well there are strings because I have a boyfriend."

Sands' face was serious now. "Oh yeah? The why are you sitting in a bar alone? Where is he?"

Charlie couldn't answer. She had no idea. Before she could think of an excuse, Sands continued.

"Do you really think a guy like that is faithful for ten years? I mean, come on Mac, you're supposed to be smart and you let that guy walk all over you."

"He does not walk..."

"He does and you know it. You wouldn't put up with me and you wouldn't retort in such a fun way because you would feel too guilty over your perfect boyfriend if you really loved him."

"I do love him."

"I'm sure you did once but now the relationship has kind of fizzled, hasn't it? Now it's just routine."

"You don't know anything about my relationship, Sands."

"Oh? Your relationship? Not 'our relationship'? I know you know I'm right."

Charlie was stuck. She'd be lying if she said what Sands had just said hadn't gone through her mind before.

"I'm leaving, Sands." She said paying for her drink and getting off the stool. She couldn't keep this conversation going any longer so she planned to take the cowards route and run away.

She left the bar and went to her car, putting the key in the door.

"Running away, now I know I'm right." Charlie turned to see Sands walking up to her, Buster following him on a leash in his hand. It was like Sands didn't even need him.

"It does not mean you're right. It means I'm sick of you."

"Don't lie, Mac."

"My God, Sands! Even if you are right and I'm not saying you are, it is none of your business."

Sands walked up close to her. "I don't care."

"If you don't care then why do you keep talking about it?"

"Because I want you to realise how stupid you're being. I want you to realise that for once in your life, you're wrong about something. You should get rid of that guy and you know it."

Their bodies were almost touching and Charlie had to press her back against her car.

"You don't understand anything about relationships, Sands. Your idea of a relationship with the opposite sex is renting out a motel room for the night and being gone before she wakes up."

"Well, your idea of a relationship is doing whatever your partner tells you to and not complaining in case they run off. Yet, you do everything this guy tells you and he's still not around. You're not one to judge, sugar."

Charlie wasn't comfortable hearing these home truths about herself. "What do you want Sands? Why are you here?"

Sands smirked and slowly leaned into Charlie, catching her lips with his. Charlie's eyes fluttered shut and she felt as Sands placed his hand on her cheek, his thumb stroking her skin. His other hand went to her back, pulling her against him and her hands went to his arms as she returned the kiss. Feeling her reciprocating, Sands got more passionate in the kiss and Charlie was positive she was losing the feeling in her legs.

_Oh my God, he's good. I mean, really good. Excellent._

Sands brought his lips away from hers and Charlie opened her eyes. He was smirking.

"That's what I wanted, sugar."

Charlie was speechless. What did she just do? She just let Sands kiss her! She hadn't stopped him, she returned it.

"I have to go." She said.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Mac." He said letting her go from his grip and just like that, walked away.

Charlie stared after him before getting into her car.

_What the hell just happened? How could I have let that happen? He's my patient! I am such a bad doctor, oh my God, what is wrong with me?_

_Maybe you were drawn in because he's gorgeous and charming and..._

_Wait, charming? Him suggesting we get a room and have sex with no strings attached is charming?_

_Annoying me over my boyfriend is charming?_

_Calling me stupid all the time is charming?_

_He can be charming, not all the time. Like the way he acts with Buster now or the fact that he likes Broadway and he can be funny in a weird way. But most of all, he's a challenge and that's what makes you attracted to him._

_No, I can't be attracted to him, he's Sands. He's my patient. If I'm attracted to him, I should sign off as his doctor._

_And give up the surgery?_

_I can't do that, that's going to make my career. I can't hand it over to someone else._

_Well, you're the genius. You figure something out._

Her phone ringing brought Charlie out of her little self psycho analysis. She picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe."

Charlie huffed. "For the last time Barry, I hate being called babe. Stop doing it."

"It's just a habit."

"Well get out of it."

"Well, what do you want me to call you?"

_I like sugar._

"Try my name Barry, that might work."

"Fine, _Charlotte._" Charlie very nearly hung up on him.

"Where were you tonight?"

"Oh yeah, I got caught up with some of the guys. I tried to call you but your phone had no reception."

"My phone had fine reception, Barry."

"Oh, well it must have been mine."

_Even with the small things, it's my fault first._

"Well, where were you?"

"Just with the guys."

"Yes, you said that Barry, where?"

"Oh...it was just a bar."

"A bar?"

"It's this new underground place but I went there for a good reason, I swear. I was checking it out because I was thinking; imagine if I opened my own..."

"That's probably why your phone didn't work." Charlie interrupted, not wanting to hear about his next business venture that would never happen. He was always coming up with this stuff and never actually did anything about it.

"What?"

"Well, it's underground."

"You're not moody over me blowing you off?"

Usually she would have been but Charlie couldn't find it in her to care very much.

"No, I got to go. Bye Barry."

"Bye babe. I lov..."

She hung up on him but she doubt he cared. He was probably still at that place. She was kind of surprised by her lack of indignation but honestly, she was more annoyed over being called babe. Oh well, she had her own stuff to deal with.

_You're not even guilty that you kissed another man who wasn't Barry?_

_I suppose so. I mean, I should be, that's the normal reaction._

_Wow, you're a dedicated girlfriend._

_He blew me off to go to a bar!_

_You kissed another man._

_He probably did more with other women._

_Oh, so why don't you break up with him?_

_I don't know._

_Afraid you wouldn't get anyone else?_

_Sands just said he wanted me._

_F__or sex. One night. What are you gonna do when that's over?_

_I don't know. I find someone else. No, not even someone else. Just someone because nothing is going to happen with Sands, he's off limits. There's a load of guys out there. One must want me._

_Oh yeah, some guy who's nice and caring. A guy who finds you irresistible and doesn't mind that you spend all your time at work where you mostly deal with very fit men. Oh yeah, I'm sure there's a guy who actually will look past that with no qualms because he wants you. Where do you find one of those guys? Because I'm pretty sure they don't exist. Face it; you can have an okay life with Barry where you rely mainly on other things for your actual happiness or one night with Sands. Those are your options._

_Ugh, this sucks._

_That's life._

_Not for anyone except me. Everyone else finds someone who they love and who loves them back and then they go off and get married and have happy lives. What do I get?_

_That's your own fault. You didn't have to be with Barry._

_No one else wanted me, never even looked at me. Can you blame me for being flattered when someone finally did?_

_No but now he never really looks at you either._

_Well he's all I have and all I'll get from the looks of things._

_That's incredibly sad and pathetic._

Charlie sighed. "I need to go to bed."

* * *

**I think Charlie may just have very bad taste in men!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	8. Workaholic

**Here's Chapter 8!**

"Okay, enough humiliation for one day. I am done." Sands said after he banged his shin into a metal bar. He walked away and sat down on the bench.

"You're not concentrating properly." Charlie chastised. "Your mind is on other things. You're distracted."

"Just focused on the other night." Sands said to annoy her. "Care for a repeat performance?"

"No." Charlie said firmly. "Now get up and finish."

"Ooh, someone is grouchy today."

"I did not agree to help you with this so you could waste my time."

"Waste your time? I'm taking a break. Now sit down and stop nagging me."

Charlie rolled her eyes and sat down next to him. "I suppose seeing as you are actually working today, it wouldn't hurt to stop."

Sands smirked. "Wow, you give a girl one kiss and you get anything you want."

"No." Charlie said quickly. "That kiss...that kiss didn't happen."

"I remember it quite vividly."

"Sands, I am serious. I could lose my job and my..."

"Boyfriend? Where was he the other night anyway? Did he forget to look both ways before crossing the street?"

Charlie didn't even bother to try to lie. What was the point? She could say Barry was saving an old lady from a burning building and Sands would twist it into something negative. "He was at that new underground bar."

"The strip club?"

Charlie frowned. "No. The new..."

"Underground strip club that opened on Perrott Street? The only new underground building that opened recently?" When Charlie didn't reply, Sands chuckled. "Aw, poor Mac."

"Yeah well I was kissing another man so who am I to judge?" She said tiredly. She was very, very tired.

"Sweet relationship. He'd break up with you because of one kiss?"

"I...no but I..."

"To be honest, I doubt he'd care."

"How do you know? You've never met him."

"I've met his type. Hell, before I lost my eyes I practically was him. Well, a less whimpy version. But yeah, if a mugger came at us in the street, you could bet I would have thrown her away and saved myself."

Charlie scoffed. "As if losing your eyes changed you."

"You think it didn't?"

"You were arrogant and egotistical back then and you still are."

"True but back then, I was better at justifying why."

"You don't think you are now?"

"Depends." Sands smirked. "Do I have reason to be?"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I am not soothing your ego, Sands."

"No, you're too busy doing that for your boyfriend."

"You have absolutely no idea what..."

"I bet the reason you're not telling him, I'm assuming you're not, I bet the reason is not because he'd be mad or disappointed but because you know his reaction would be less than feeling. Think of the questions that would encourage. Why didn't he care? Has he done it with other women? Has he done more? Is there nothing left in our relationship?"

"Stop Sands."

"Why you even bother to care is beyond me..."

"I care because I've been in this relationship for ten years. I'm not going to stop caring just because you think you have everything figured out."

"I think you stopped caring long before I came along. Otherwise you wouldn't have kissed me."

Charlie looked at him. "You kissed me!"

"You weren't pulling away sweetheart."

"That was...You caught me off guard."

"I did not. We were standing there for a good while and not once did you pull away. You actually seemed to enjoy it."

"I..." Charlie didn't know what to say. She had liked it. "Fine. I'll admit it. It wasn't bad. But..."

Charlie was caught off guard when Sands kissed her again. She couldn't help reciprocate and felt as Sands placed his hands on her back. Charlie leant back slightly, being supported by her elbows as Sands deepened the kiss.

"Wait, no." Charlie said pulling away and standing up. "I can't do this again."

Sands huffed from where he sat up. "Actually, you can. You're just forcing yourself to feel guilty because of some guy who could care less."

"Stop it, okay? You're not going to get me to cheat on Barry just by repeating the fact that he won't care."

"So it is a fact?"

Charlie closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. If anything, he'd go insane. Even if it was just a kiss."

"So he's overly possessive."

"I never said that."

"Well, he's either overly possessive or he won't care because it's just a kiss."

"Why does he have to be either of those? Why can't he just be upset?"

"Because I know guys like him. They don't get upset. They get angry or they don't care. They're either insecure or too confident. Especially when their girlfriend is too good for them. And what annoys me is that you know I'm right and you repeatedly lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"Then you're a lot stupider than I thought you were."

Charlie huffed. "You're ridiculous. You think you know absolutely everything because you are one of those guys that you're so quick to talk about. You say before you lost your eyes but that hasn't changed anything about you. You're still overconfident. You still think you're God's gift. I mean, look at you. You're overly possessive of me and I'm not even yours."

Charlie began walking away but felt as Sands grabbed her and pinned her against the wall. "Aren't you?"

"No." Charlie said, breathlessly but angrily. "I'm not."

"Then why don't you report me for doing things like this?" Sands said as he kissed one side of her neck. "Or this." He kissed the other side and continued to plant kisses on her neck and collarbone until she stopped him by grabbing his face and making him look at her. Well, be face to face with her.

"Because if I do then I lose your surgery and I'm not giving that up."

"So you need me?"

"Just as much as you need me."

"Well then, why are we fighting?" Sands kissed her again, the tension building to a lot of passion. Charlie couldn't help but kiss him back as he grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him. Sands was the one to pull back and he didn't do so for a while. They were breathless after the passionate kiss as Sands lay his forehead on hers.

"Sands..."

"Shut up for a second." Sands said.

"But..."

"Shush." Sands brought his hands up and gently ran his hands over her face. This surprised Charlie.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you think I'm doing? I'm trying to figure out what you look like."

"But, why?"

"Listen, I may be blind but I still have standards. If I'm going to be conducting an affair with someone, I'm gonna make sure she's hot."

Charlie took his hands off of her and tutted. "There is no affair. A few stolen kisses are not an affair. If I were going to have an affair, which believe me, I won't be, it wouldn't be with an egotistical ass like you."

"Then how come every time I kiss you, you kiss me back?"

"It won't be happening again."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Sands stepped away from her. "Then walk away."

"I can't."

"You were about to a minute ago."

"If I walk out of here, there's going to be questions asked."

"Let them ask."

"I can't and you know it. I can't let people think that I can't handle you."

"Oh sugar, you can handle me any time you like."

"Good, if that's the case, get back to work."

Sands chuckled. "You're serious?"

"About everything. Go."

Sands held his hands up. "You're the boss."

He walked away and Charlie let out a breath she didn't know she'd been holding.

_I am the boss. And I'm putting an end to this. I have to._

Meanwhile, Sands was having his own thoughts.

_What the fuck was that? Why the hell was I touching her face? Why do I care? _

_And I do care about what she looks like. That's the fucked up thing. _

"Why are you doing this?" He heard Charlie ask. "Why do you even want me?"

"Who said anything about wanting you?" Sands shrugged. "I'm doing this because I can."

"No." Charlie said. "You didn't have to have me anywhere in your life until the surgery. But you made me agree to help you with your rehab, you don't shut up about my personal life and you kiss me. That is not just amusing yourself. You have a motive behind everything you do and I don't understand what it is with me. Why are you trying to get me into bed? What is it about me that you found a target?"

Sands smirked. "You're a bitch."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You, ma'am, try to pull off this sweet and caring doctor act that most people fall for but behind closed doors, you're nothing but a self-centred control freak who would kill her own grandmother if it meant she'd get ahead. You're better than any doctor in this city and you know it and know how much sway you have with the bosses. You think you're God's gift. You made it obvious in Mexico when you were harping on and on about people needing you after that bus crash and you loved the fact that those nurses were bitching about how much of an ice-queen you are. I get it, medicine is mainly a man's game and you're up there with the big fellas and you wanted every last person you meet to know why. And I for one find that extremely arousing."

Charlie grimaced. "Ew."

"No, what's 'ew' about this situation is you came back here and that ice bitch that had me all fired up in my hospital bed completely disappeared. You came back here and you became this pathetic little whiner who jumped any time her phone rang. The only thing I can garner from your little schizo act is that you're not as happy with your personal life as you are with your work life. Hence the workaholic lifestyle, the hanging around me until I started hanging around you and why I want your boyfriend gone. I want that bitch I met in Mexico who threatened to stab me, back."

"You won't get anything out of me either way. And if I'm so pathetic, don't I deserve the lousy boyfriend?"

"The woman I met in Mexico would eat that asshole for breakfast."

"So what do you want? You want me to dump Barry, be a bitch and be with you?"

"Well, if we're being honest, I want you to have sex with me, get me eyes and then have sex with me a lot more."

"There are a million and one women out there that are bitches. Why not go find one of them?"

Sands smirked. "Because I already have you."

"You don't have me."

"We'll see." Sands grimaced. "Figuratively speaking."

"There you are!"

Sands' balked at the sound of Trevor's voice before turning with a false smile. "Hello Trevor, how have you been?"

"Annoyed." Trevor turned to Charlie. "You'll call me if you see him?"

Charlie shrugged. "If I had snitched, I never would have gotten him here again. I did what I had to for the wellbeing of the patient."

Sands smirked at her as she demonstrated everything he'd just said.

"Take that smirk off your face." Trevor said. "You are in big trouble."

"How did you even know I was here?" Sands asked.

"Melissa noticed that this room was being used by Macintosh in the logs."

"Thanks, Mac."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "If I wanted to use the facilities, I had to sign in."

"So, what now?" Sands asked. "I'm debadged and fired?"

"You sit in a meeting with some of the heads, including myself and we evaluate your case and your history. If you ever returned my calls, you'd realise your past work will probably override any problems there were in Mexico seeing as you covered your ass by having everyone mysteriously die or disappear."

"You wanted the President gone along with Marquez, I made it happen. I also threw in Barillo for free. And I made everyone who knew about us being involved go bye-bye. That's exemplary work right there."

"And the twenty million dollars that went missing?"

"Hey, if you want people to keep their mouths shut, you pay big."

Trevor wasn't done questioning him but let it go for now and turned to Charlie instead. "The heads want to talk to you too."

Charlie frowned. "About what?"

"The annual overview."

Charlie grimaced. "That time of year again?"

Sands frowned. Now this was something he hadn't heard of. "Annual overview?"

"It's where our heads go to their heads and justify their decisions." Charlie explained. "It's basically going to the national director and explaining why we're hired and what we're doing with our budgets."

"Charlie is one of our best assets." Trevor went on. "She comes along and we basically parade her around and use her to justify any of the decisions made to do with medical like, say, getting agents eye transplants when they might not necessarily be entitled to it."

Sands raised an eyebrow. "The fate of my sight relies on this meeting?"

"Not at all." Charlie replied. "Mainly because the meeting isn't a meeting but a spa weekend filled with wining and dining and the chance for all the bigwigs to use going over budgets as an excuse to spend as much money as possible before writing out account reports. It's a boys club," She turned to Trevor. "Which is why I hate going."

"Come on Charlie, you wear a few pretty dresses, act all sweet and flirtatious and they give your department anything you ask for."

"I am a doctor, not a performing peacock. This whole facade of yearly overviews is an absolute joke. It's just a way for the men to get away from their wives to play golf and sleep around."

"As long as it's not with you, you shouldn't care." Trevor shrugged.

"Oh yeah, how is the mistress by the way?" Sands asked with a fake, cheery smile.

Trevor looked at him tiredly. "Younger."

"Nice."

Trevor turned back to Charlie. "Boys club or not, it is a few days where you get away to Florida and you stay in a five star hotel, free of charge with access to all its facilities. Just a few dinners where you act charming and one hour of making a presentation where you can be as serious as you like. Every head of a department has to do it; you just have to be a woman while you do it."

"Thanks, Trevor."

"Don't blame me, I didn't give you breasts."

Charlie huffed. "Can we get back to our session now?"

Trevor nodded. "I'll call you about when the heads want to see you. I'm talking to you too, Sands. Do you hear me?"

"Better now that I'm blind. It's true what they say."

Trevor walked out of the centre. "Play nice, you two. Good day."

When he was gone, Charlie let out a sigh. "Fantastic."

Sands smirked. "You have to act flirtatious and charming? This I would love to see. Among everything else..."

"I do not act like that; Trevor just thinks if I did, I'd get my way a lot more."

"You would too."

"I am not going to sacrifice my integrity by fawning over sweaty business men when my record speaks volumes for itself."

"You do it, don't you?"

"A little."

Sands chuckled. "Anything to get ahead, ain't that right, sugar?"

Charlie turned to walk away but jumped when she felt Sands slap her behind. She looked back at him. "Sands!"

"Get used to it, sugar. From the sounds of things, you're going to be in for a lot of ass slapping and "accidental" breast brushing."

Charlie grimaced, knowing that was true.

Sands walked up behind her and got close to her ear so he could spoke lowly. "Just make sure none of them get as far as I do." He smirked before pressing one kiss to her neck and walking away in front of her. "Come on Mac, back to work."

Charlie sighed.

_Kill me now.

* * *

_

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**_  
_


	9. The Drunken Truth

**To peaches: Lol, who can resist Sands? I don't think there's an answer! Thanks!**

**Here's Chapter 9!  
**

Charlie was packing her case in preparation to go away in the morning when she heard her front door open.

"Hey babe."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "In the bedroom."

Barry smirked and walked into the room to see her packing and his smirk dropped. "Not what I was expecting."

Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow before going back to packing her folded clothes.

"Where are you going?"

"I told you, I have to go to that medical convention."

"Oh yeah," Barry nodded, lying on the bed.

"Shoes." Charlie reminded.

"They're clean."

"So is my bed. Take them off or get off my bed."

Barry huffed and kicked them off. "Is it worth my while asking you to get a bed that's ours not yours, again?"

Charlie halted her movements before continuing. "It would not be, no."

"Charlie, I would think after ten years, you'd be prepared to live together."

"I just...I'm not."

"Why not?"

_Because you put your shoes up on my bed._

_I would be the one paying rent._

_You can't know about my private life._

_I like my privacy._

_I don't want to live with you._

"Because things are good the way they are."

Barry sat up. "I'm sure doctors would be allowed bring their significant others to this convention."

Charlie shook her head. "I told you, you'd be really bored. I won't see you at all so you'll just be hanging around a hotel room for a few days."

"I'll see you at night."

Charlie inwardly cursed. "Well the tickets are already paid for so..."

"I'm sure I could pay for my own."

Charlie looked at him. "Are you? You'd have to pay for a hotel room and everything. And it's an expensive hotel, I'm not sure I could afford a room if it wasn't paid for by someone else."

"Why couldn't I just stay in yours?"

"Because mine was paid for by the hospital. Room for one. I could get caught and thrown out."

_Stop asking me! I work for the CIA!_

"You'll be fine for a few days. "She reassured. "I do this every year and you have yet to get into serious trouble." She smiled. "You'll be fine."

Barry smirked and grabbed her arm, pulling her onto the bed to lie under him. He began to kiss her and Charlie responded but her mind went to things other than Barry.

_No! You can't think about him._

_I can't help it. He just came into my head._

_Well get him out. I can't be thinking about Sands when I'm with my boyfriend._

_I should be thinking about Barry._

Barry pulled back from her. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're distracted."

"Sorry, I was just thinking."

Barry smirked. "You need to stop doing so much of that, babe."

Charlie moaned. "Barry..."

"Shh." He said, going to kiss her neck.

Charlie closed her eyes and tried to focus on just enjoying the moment. She was here with her boyfriend who was lavishing affection on her and all she could think of was how she needed to stop thinking.

_Alright, I'm turning off. I'm enjoying the moment._

Charlie focused on Barry's ministrations on her and enjoying herself. Unfortunately, turning her mind off didn't stop her from making a colossal mistake.

"Sa..." She cut herself off quickly before finishing, realising.

Barry frowned at her. "What?"

"I said sorry." Charlie said quickly. "I can't keep doing this, need to finish packing."

She tried to get up but Barry grabbed her waist, pulling her back. "Nope, stay here."

Charlie sighed. "Just let me finish packing and then..."

"No, just stay here with me." Barry said, kissing her again but Charlie pulled back when her phone rang. "Don't answer it."

"Have to." Charlie said, grabbing her phone and answering it. "Hello?"

"Hey sugar."

Charlie sat up quickly in case Barry would hear. "Hello."

"So all packed and ready to be felt up by horny business men?"

"I...I'm just packing now."

Sands frowned at her tone. "Mac?"

Barry sat up too and continued to kiss her neck. "Hang up the phone."

Charlie pushed him away but Sands had heard and for some reason, didn't like it. "If I can hear him, he can hear me, Mac. Do you think I should speak loudly about," Sands raised his voice. "How I was the one kissing you a few days ago?"

"I'll call you back!" Charlie said quickly, hanging up the phone. She looked at Barry who was looking at her with a frown.

"Who was that?"

Charlie noticed how casual he seemed so it was a safe bet he didn't hear Sands. "Chief of surgery." Charlie lied. "Just making sure I'm ready for going to the conference. I better go call him back." Charlie said, leaving the room.

"Why don't you stay in here to do it?"

Charlie smirked. "Because you keep distracting me."

She walked out of the room and her smirk dropped as she rushed to the bathroom, locking the door. She dialled his number.

"Did he hear?"

"You bastard, what are you trying to do to me?"

"Have sex with you. I thought that was obvious?"

Charlie huffed. "It is not happening, Sands. You can't do things like this."

"Why not?"

"Because...you could get me into a lot of trouble."

"With who?"

"What do you mean with who? Barry!"

"And that's a bad thing because..."

"He'd break up with me. I know you don't care about that but I have put ten years of my life into this relationship and I don't plan to have you mess that up."

"He was doing that long before I came along, sugar. I'm just making the demise of that colossal waste of time you call a relationship more fun."

"None of what you're doing is good."

"Not even when I kiss you? Does he know about our little make out sessions?"

"No."

"What do you think he'd do if I told him?" Sands smirked. "Just showed up at your apartment one night or something and acted all casual about it. I'm blind; I mightn't have even known he was there."

"Sands, you wouldn't."

"You know I would."

"You'd actually try and break us up?"

"Mac, if I thought a kiss would do it, I'd go over there and manhandle you in all kinds of ways in front of him just to seal the deal."

Charlie put her hand against her forehead. "Sands, I cannot do this. I have to go. I have a flight to catch in the morning and the only colossal thing here is the headache you're giving me."

Sands chuckled. "Well let me get you into bed and I'll show you another colossal..."

Charlie hung up on him.

* * *

"Barry? Would you please pick up the phone? Please?"

Charlie sighed and disconnected her phone. That must have been the tenth message she'd left this morning. After her talk with Sands last night, Charlie's headache had her telling Barry she was no longer in the mood for anything and just wanted to finish packing and going to bed.

"Wait, so you take one work call and all of a sudden, you're not in the mood?"

"I'm just...I have to get up early to catch my plane and..."

"You do realise this is completely typical of you, don't you?" He asked angrily.

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Putting your job before me. You always do it. It's a wonder I even stick around."

"I didn't say you couldn't stay the night, I'm just too tired to..."

"Give a damn about your boyfriend? Yeah, I got that part."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'm the ridiculous one? Why don't you stop and revaluate your life for a second, babe? Take your job away and what do you have? Me. That's it. No friends, no level of fun, nothing. Just your job, your job, a boyfriend who barely even registers with you and your job."

"That's not fair! I always try to make time for you. Always."

"It's not enough. I want a girlfriend who doesn't have to try and make time for me."

"I'm doing the best I can! My job does take up a lot of my time but..." Charlie couldn't believe he was actually making her cry. "I'm sorry."

_Why are you apologising?_

Barry scoffed. "Have fun in Chicago." She even had to lie about where she was going. "You know, working."

Barry got up and stormed out of the apartment and Charlie quickly dried her tears before going back to packing.

Now here she was, waiting around to board the private jet and constantly trying to call Barry.

_Why should you be apologising? He's the one who's acting like a big baby._

_Maybe he's right._

_He's not right! Stop doing this to yourself! You spend every spare second you have taking care of him. You're the one who cleans his apartment so he doesn't have to hire a cleaning lady and can save money because you're worried he might not have enough for rent. You're the one who buys his food to make sure it's more than just soda and potato chips. You do everything for him and he never appreciates it._

Charlie sighed and put her phone into her bag, not taking out until that night when she was checking the time on it, a watch not going with her little black dress.

_Only 9:15? You have got to be kidding me._

Charlie downed her champagne before hearing Trevor's voice.

"Charlie, you've met Peter Rosenthal before, haven't you?"

Charlie plastered on her smile. "I have, indeed. Good to see you again, Mister Rosenthal." She said, shaking the man's hand.

"Doctor Macintosh, how lovely it is to see you again." He replied, not hiding how much he was looking her over. "How have you been?"

"Oh, can't complain."

He chuckled. "We shall have to make sure it stays that way. No one would benefit seeing anything other than a smile on that face."

"Oh, you do know how to make a girl blush."

"Among other things." He smirked.

"Pete, why don't I introduce you to our new head of technology?" Trevor said quickly, pulling him away. He looked at Charlie behind the man's back to see her scowling at him.

_They're getting more forward. How is that even possible?_

"Well, if he isn't just a dog."

Charlie's eyes widened at the voice behind her.

"Sands?"

"Hey, sugar."

She turned and sure enough, in a simple suit with a white open collared shirt was the man himself.

"Sands, what are you doing here?"

Sands indicated to one side of the room. "See those guys over there? They're going to be paying for my surgery."

"Sands, those are the waiters."

Sands huffed. "Where are the heads?"

Charlie took his hands and pointed him in the direction of the bosses. "Okay, those guys are paying for my surgery. If I want them to keep paying for it, I gotta make an effort. So here I am."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "That's the only reason?"

Sands chuckled. "The one and only. Don't think you're so special, Mac."

"Believe me, I don't." Charlie said.

Sands resisted frowning at her bitter tone that she tried to hide. "And might I say, you're looking lovely this evening."

Charlie smiled. "You have no idea what I look like."

"I'm taking a guess."

Charlie nodded. "Well, it's been fun but I really must mingle."

She was about to walk away but Sand walked after her and looped her arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked quickly, looking around.

"You need to be my Buster, Mac. Dogs are not allowed."

"Where did you leave him if you're here?"

"My apartment."

"Sands!"

"I'm kidding. Trevor's lovely wife Sheila agreed to pet sit for me. She loves me, you know. Never knew why."

"It would be a mystery."

Sands smirked. "Someone's a little testy."

Charlie picked up another glass of champagne. "Not me. I love being sexually harassed over and over again. It's the light of my year and you just went and extended the time period."

"Anything to help."

"Hmmm."

"Is there an open space anywhere?" Sands asked. "Somewhere to get air?"

Charlie looked to see the glass doors open, leading out to the hotel gardens. "Yeah, why?"

"Come on then, lead the way."

"I need to..."

"Help me out. I'm blind."

Charlie huffed and walked him out there.

"Anywhere to sit?"

She brought them to a bench a bit away from the doors and sat down with him.

"Feeling better?"

Sands chuckled. "This wasn't for me, Mac."

"What?"

"You are taking it a little too heavy on the old' bubbly and I think talking loudly about being felt up by everyone in the room mightn't have gone down too well with everyone in the room."

Charlie covered her mouth. "Did people hear me?"

"How do I know? I'm the blind one. Just shut up until the world stops spinning because I don't need any hindrances like alcoholic doctors getting in the way of my eyes. I have enough working against me as is."

Charlie scoffed. "You have nothing working against you."

"I would disagree what with my meeting coming up and all those pesky little rules I broke."

"Oh please, Trevor is going to get you eyes if he has to rip them out of his own sockets. He loves you."

"Where is that coming from?"

"It's the truth. He's the one who convinced the heads to get you out of Mexico and he's the one who put me on your case. His wife probably loves you because you remind her of a young him. That's the only reason I can think of. Your meeting is going to go just the way you want because you have someone on your side already who is perfect with getting his way."

Sands thought about it. "Handy."

"Hmmm."

"And what about you?" Sands smirked.

"What about me?"

"What's your reason for wanting to help me?"

"Fishing for compliments is extremely unattractive."

"I wasn't actually fishing for compliments."

Charlie frowned. "Then what were you fishing for?"

Sands chuckled. "You really do make it too easy." He said before kissing her.

Charlie pulled back. "No. Oh no. This is what he was talking about."

"Who?"

"Barry. I am being a terrible girlfriend and kissing other men really adds to that so no. No more kissing."

"He told you that?"

"I was being unreasonable."

"How? Let me guess, you weren't doing what he wanted."

Charlie stayed silent.

"God, why are you so frustrating?" Sands asked angrily, getting up.

_Why do I care?_

_If it were any other woman, this guy would be my hero for making her so stupid and complacent._

But that was it. Sands knew Charlie and grew attracted to her in Mexico, though he tried to deny it time and time again, especially after his debacle with Ajedrez. Who needed another woman after that bitch? But Sands couldn't drill down the thoughts of his new doctor. Then her boyfriend came into the picture and pissed Sands off immediately for taking away the confident woman he found himself thinking about.

_I haven't even seen her._

_Why don't I need to?_

"Why are you yelling at me?" Charlie asked.

"Because you are acting like a moron." Sands said. "And it's annoying."

"I'm sorry I'm not what you want." She said sarcastically.

Sands sat back down and heard Charlie leave out a shuddering breath. "What's wrong?"

"Cold. I didn't think I'd be spending the night outside."

Sands huffed and took off his suit jacket. "You're in the CIA and you're not prepared? Pathetic."

"I'm a doctor, not an agent."

"That's no excuse."

Charlie wrapped the jacket around herself. "Is it all an act?"

"Is what an act?"

"The crazy loner thing?"

"Why would you think that?"

"You just gave me your jacket and the way you act around me. I thought you were in everything for yourself?"

"You're cold, I'm not. What about that makes me a saint?"

"I'm just asking."

"Just because I don't play well with others, shoot people and break rules doesn't mean I don't have feelings." He said sarcastically. "It just means I want a hug."

"You're very hard to figure out."

"Good."

"Is it?"

"The only people I want in my life are the people I choose to have in my life."

"Me?"

"At the moment, only you. And that's only because I think I'm definitely in with a shot."

"Once you're done with me then you'll throw me aside, is that it?"

Sands smirked. "Depends on how good you are."

Charlie huffed and looked away from him. Sands heard her get up awkwardly.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to my room." Charlie said. "Feeling very tired."

Sands chuckled. "You're drunk, sugar."

"You're blind."

"True."

Charlie began walking away but Sands walked after her.

"I don't need a babysitter, Sands."

"You're still wearing my jacket. Until I get it back, I'm staying with you."

"Oh," Charlie said, remembering. "Sorry. Here..." She began to take it off but Sands kept it on her shoulders.

"I'm walking you up to your room so you might as well keep it."

"I don't need you to walk me up to my room."

"These are hard marble floors and you're drunk in heels. I need your hands so in the interest of getting my eyes, I'm going to make sure you don't fall and hurt yourself."

Sands and Charlie stopped walking and Charlie pressed the button for the elevator. The elevator chimed, the doors opening and they walked in. She watched as Sands counted up the buttons, eventually pushing the one he had been looking for and the doors closed. He had to catch Charlie as the elevator began to move and she lost her balance.

"See, sugar?" Sands smirked. "You need me."

Charlie looked up at him and Sands noticed how she wasn't pulling away from his arms as one was wrapped around her shoulders and the other around her waist.

"You're not going to tell me to get off you?" Sands smirked.

"I like being close to people." Charlie said. It was obvious she was completely drunk but Sands smirked as he realised. She was a truthful drunk. Sands knew the kind, get a few drinks in them and the ability and want to lie disappeared and they gave away information quite freely. Sands wondered what else she might give away.

"Do you?" Sands said, wrapping his arms around her properly.

"Yes." Charlie said, her head on Sand's shoulder. She was speaking casually as if not realising they were in quite a romantic embrace. "I like having arms wrapped around me and being able to lay my head against someone."

"Someone?" Sands smirked. "Not, say, your boyfriend?"

Charlie stayed silent.

"Charlie?"

"I don't think I love Barry anymore."

Really, this drunkenness was better than anything Sands could have thought up. "You don't?"

"No."

"So you're going to leave him?"

"No."

Sands frowned. "But you just said..."

"I work seventeen hour days with loads of men. I don't have time to cook or be anything that resembles a good girlfriend."

Sands nodded. "You think you have to stay with him because you'll never find anyone else?"

Charlie looked up at him. "Who else would want me?"

The elevator doors opened but neither Sands nor Charlie moved right away. Sands realised sooner than Charlie and brought her out of the elevator and into the hall.

"Look for room two-three-six, sugar." Sands said.

Charlie kept her eye out and eventually found the room. "Here."

Sands took out the key card and opened the door, bringing her inside.

"This isn't my room." Charlie said, only just realising that's where Sands was supposed to be bringing her.

Sands turned to her and ran his fingers over her cheek. "No, it's not."

"Sands, this isn't..."

"Charlie, do you want this?" Sands asked, his lips close to hers.

"That doesn't matter. I shouldn't be here."

"It's a simple question, Charlie."

"It's not, though. It's a very, very complicated question."

"Not if you don't let it be. Do you want this?"

Charlie looked up at him. "Yes."

Sands didn't need any more coaxing to press his lips against hers. Charlie felt as he deepened the kiss and backed her into the wall. His arms rose up and slipped his jacket from her shoulders. It fell to the floor and her dress soon followed as Sands slid it down her arms. His hands went to her exposed skin at her waist and began feeling her under his palms. Charlie unbuttoned his shirt and took it off of him before Sands' hands went to the backs of her thighs and lifted her to wrap her legs around his waist. Sands began kissing her neck and Charlie closed her eyes at the sensation, one hand going to the back of his neck, the other delving into his hair.

"Sands..."

Sands tore his lips from her collarbone. "You have no idea what you do to me."

Charlie looked down at him, taking his face in her hands. Sands felt her stroke his jaw gently. He didn't think gentleness had ever crept into his trysts before. He wasn't a man who gave off the vibe that he would appreciate slowness and thought and he never thought he was the type himself. But he had to admit, he didn't hate it now that it was happening. Charlie leant down and pressed her lips against his slowly but with the same passion his usually demonstrated. Sands let her down to stand and her hands went to his waist as his went to hold her head in his hands.

"I have no idea what you do to me." Sands said when they parted, his forehead against hers.

"Should I go?" Charlie asked.

Sands grabbed her tightly. "Definitely not."

They made their way further into his room and eventually fell on the bed, Charlie on top of Sands. She looked down at him and kissed him again. She felt him wrap his arms around her and eventually he rolled her over so she was lying back on the bed and he was on top of her.

"I think about you." Charlie said. "Not the way I should. I can't help it. I think about you all the time and it really freaks me out. Do you think about me?"

Sands found himself looser with the truth around her, one side of him saying it didn't matter because she wouldn't remember in the morning and the other side telling him that telling her the truth wouldn't be a bad thing.

"Yes."

"More than you should?"

"Definitely."

"Does it make you feel wrong?"

"No."

"I think about you and what it would feel like if I just let myself go around you. Even when I shouldn't."

"When you're with him?"

Charlie nodded.

"I'm blind, sugar." Sands smiled. "You have to vocalise your thoughts here. So, do you?"

"Yes."

"Are you with him a lot?" Sands asked, not understanding the feeling of jealousy coursing through him.

"Not in the way you think. I could be watching television with him on the couch and you'll be in my head and I feel like I'm doing something wrong."

"You are. You shouldn't be with him at all. On the couch or anywhere else."

"I'm scared of being alone."

"Why?"

"I like being close to people." Charlie said again.

He kissed her, making his way down her neck and collarbone and down her chest where he kissed the area just above her bra. He felt her run her hands over his back and shoulders and heard as she enjoyed his ministrations on her.

Sands frowned when her heavy breathing continued but her ministrations on him stopped. He left where he was and brought his face up to hers.

"Charlie?"

No reply.

Sands felt her face and realised. She had fallen asleep. Sands flopped down so his head was resting on her chest.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me."

* * *

**This chapter was very interesting for me to write from Sands' POV. Any fanfic I've read with him always has Sands as someone who only wants sex and not the woman herself(until he does) but I always took from OUATIM that he was trying to get in there with Ajedrez and he even trusted her. Huge mistake but we'll forgive him. =P *shrugs* Who knows with Sands? **

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	10. One Hell Of A Hangover

**To peaches: Thank you! I love him too!**

**Here's Chapter 10!  
**

Charlie woke up to the sound of ringing. She realised it was her phone and went to grope her nightstand. She froze when she realised that she was lying on a man's chest. She opened her eyes and shot up quickly.

Sands had woken up too. He smirked at her. "Morning, sugar."

Charlie was frozen. What happened? "Oh my God..."

She jumped out of the bed, looking for her dress desperately.

Sands got up too. "What are you doing?"

"I was drunk!" Charlie said angrily. "I was drunk and you...I have to go."

She found her dress on the floor by his shirt and jacket and put it on quickly.

"Mac, nothing happened." Sands said tiredly as if she were overreacting over nothing.

"Good! Nothing better have happened! I don't want anything to happen!"

"That's not what you said last night."

"Last night, I was very drunk."

"No, last night you were honest."

"Last night was the only time you will ever get me like that. Never again." Charlie said, storming out of the room and slamming the door.

Charlie hurried to the elevator, praying to God no one would see her and luckily, the halls and elevator was empty. Once she got in and the doors closed, she laid her head against the wall.

What had she done?

* * *

Sands sat in his hotel room, drinking out of the mini bar and thinking about what Charlie was doing.

_Probably pacing in her hotel room and mentally torturing herself over nothing._

_Get your mind off of her! She doesn't mean anything!_

_She does not mean anything to me..._

Sands jolted when he heard a phone ring. But it wasn't his phone. It was Charlie's. Sands got up and walked over to where the ringing was coming from.

"She left her bag here..." He smirked. He scrambled out the phone and was about to answer it, thinking it was Barry but then realised it could be someone from the CIA. He sighed and placed the phone back in her handbag.

But he did have her handbag. It would be wrong of him to keep it when she was clearly being looked for by someone. She was an important doctor. She needed her phone.

_If this were any other woman, you wouldn't need to give yourself excuses to go and see her._

_I wouldn't have had to have gotten any other woman drunk to the point where she couldn't walk to get her into bed. _

Sands grabbed the bag and left his room, running his hand along the wall until it was met with the cold metal of the elevator doors. He felt for the button and pressed it, eventually hearing the bell chime and the doors open. Sands walked in and went to press the button to her floor before realising.

_Shit. I don't actually know what floor she's staying on._

"Eh...Is there anyone in this elevator?" Sands asked.

"I...I am." A voice answered. It sounded like a young guy, a teenager probably. He sounded confused.

"Great." Sands said, following his voice and putting his hand on the teenager's shoulder. "Listen, I've recently taken up being blind, long story, cool though, got the eyes taken out of my head. Anyway, this bag," Sands held it up. "Was left in my room last night by a woman I'm trying to get into bed in which I very nearly succeeded last night. Handy tip for getting girls, plaster them with alcohol and if they don't pass out, they'll pretty much be up for anything. I am now only realising that I don't actually know what floor she is on as she stormed out this morning without telling me. Another bit of advice, though the alcohol route is a good bet, it may lead to the girl being really pissed in the morning and or pressing charges. As I was saying, I need to find out from the front desk which room she's in so I can go up to her and give her back her bag and also try and get her into bed again. But I can't let anyone know she was in my room last night because we work together for the CIA and if they find out I'm trying to get her into bed and it's beginning to work, we'll both lose our jobs. So what I need from you is to go down to the front desk with the bag, say you found it and found who it belonged to by looking at the driver's license and need to know what room she's in so you can give it back. And do not, under any circumstances, let them take the bag so they can just call her down to pick it up. Get the number of the room. In gratitude, I will let you take whatever money is in her purse. Savvy?"

"Em...okay." The teen said. "What's her name?"

Sands realised something. He reached into her bag and pulled out her purse. "Look at her driver's license."

He took the purse and did so. "Charlotte Macintosh."

"What does she look like?" Sands asked.

"You mean you don't know?"

"Blind, kid, remember?"

"But what if she's a complete dog?"

"Well, is she?"

"No, dude, she's really hot." The teen evaluated. "Kinda looks like that actress."

"What actress?"

"You know, that actress that stars in that movie. You know, the one with the hair."

"You're a lot of help, really."

The elevator halted and the doors opened.

"Okay," Sands said. "You know what you're doing?"

"Get her room number, no one takes the bag."

"Good teenager. Go."

The teen walked over to the front desk and Sands waited by the entrance to the hotel restaurant. After a while, the teen came back to him.

"She's in room four-sixteen." He said, handing the bag back to him.

Sands smirked. "You do realise you tell anyone about this and I'll find you and break your legs, blind or not?"

"Totally."

"Great. Now go away."

"Later, dude."

"Fuck off."

Sands walked back to the elevator, pressing the button and the doors opened. He walked in and felt the buttons.

"One...two...three...four." Sands pressed the fourth button and the doors closed. When they opened again, he walked out. He walked along the hallway, trying to feel the numbers on the doors.

"Double digits, alright..." Sands smirked. "Okay, one-one...one-two...one-three...one-four...one-five and..." Sands knocked on the next door.

The door opened and he heard a huff. "What the hell do you want?"

"Whoa, I got the right room on the first knock? Nice..."

"No, you didn't. Try again."

"No one could match your bitchy ice-queen tones, sugar."

"What is it, Sands?"

"I thought you might want this." He said, holding up her bag. "But if you're not interested..."

Charlie sighed and she went to get it but Sands pulled it away, out of her reach. "I need at least a kiss to feel generous enough to hand it over."

Charlie's eyes widened and she pulled him into room quickly and closed the door. Sands smirked. "More than a kiss? Be gentle, sugar. I'm fragile."

"You cannot talk like that out in the open, Sands! We are surrounded by the people who rule our jobs and you, you blind bastard, could not be able to tell if one of them had been walking down the hall."

"I would have heard them."

"You wouldn't have shut up because you wouldn't know if you were hearing one of our bosses or a little old lady."

"Sweetheart, you seriously need to learn to calm down a little. Unwind, relax, have sex with me, just chill the fuck out."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Can I have my purse back now?"

"Is it a purse or a bag?" Sands wondered. "I thought the purse went in the bag."

"Technically, it's a clutch. It's my clutch. Give it back."

"That sounds like a dirty word. Clutch."

"Sands! Give me back my damn purse, bag, I don't care! Just give it back!"

"Not until I get my kiss."

Charlie walked over to him and Sands smirked. But the smirk left when she kneed him and he doubled over in pain. She took her bag out of his hand and sat down on the bed.

"Where are my shoes?"

"What?" Sands asked, trying to get his breath back. "Sorry, I don't speak heinous bitch."

Charlie chuckled. "I left my shoes down there too."

"Well go and fucking get them yourself."

"Oh get over it. I barely tapped you."

"You fucking kneed me in the groin!"

"You tried to take advantage of me!"

"By asking for one little kiss?"

"By bringing me to your room and trying to get me to have sex with you when I could barely walk."

"I never made you drink that much. That was your own fault."

"A decent man would have brought me to my room and let me sleep it off and make the decision when I'm sober."

"You're not fun sober."

"What the...Did you rob me?"

"What?"

"All of my money is gone!"

"Oh yeah, that was the kid."

"Kid? What was a kid doing anywhere near my purse?"

"Purse as in bag or purse as in little wallet thing that holds your credit cards and stuff?"

"I swear to God, Sands..."

"I couldn't ask what your room number was. It'd look suspicious. So I got a kid to do it. As a reward for helping me..."

"You gave him all my money?"

"What? It's not like he stole your credit cards. Did he?"

"Get out."

"I'm not even getting a thank you? Or thank you sex?"

"Sands..."

They were interrupted when her phone began to ring. Charlie went for it but Sands' voice stopped her.

"You answer that phone and I'm throwing it out a window."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"How does it not annoy the crap out of you that he is constantly calling you? All the freakin' time!"

"He's my boyfriend, Sands. He can call me if he wants."

"That's not what you said last night."

"Don't bring up last night." Charlie answered her phone. "Hello?"

"Hey babe, how you doing?"

Charlie rolled her eyes at the name he had for her once again. She wouldn't take it up with him with Sands in the room though although Sands didn't seem to be paying attention, instead wandering around the room as if trying to find something. But still, arguing with Barry in front of him wasn't a great idea. At least he couldn't see her roll her eyes.

"I'm fine. How's everything at home?"

"You don't have a home with him, sugar." Sands said, turning back. "You don't want one."

Charlie covered the mouth piece of her phone quickly. "Sands, shut up and get out of my room."

"Shut up and get out? Well, that is asking a lot..."

"Sands..."

Charlie froze when Sands walked over to her, grabbed the phone out of her hand and held it to his own ear. "Hey Barry, this is Agent Sands, Charlie's patient. She's actually busy right now so if you wouldn't mind waiting outside..." True to his word, Sands walked to what he had been looking for and found, the window, opened it and flung the phone out of it.

"Sands!" Charlie said in complete shock. "You just...You actually...How dare you!"

Sands turned back to her. "I'm not a man for making idle threats, sugar. You were busy with me."

Charlie was truly tempted to march down to the bosses right now and tell them she was off the case, that they could find another surgeon to do the surgery and deal with Sands. But she couldn't. She needed that surgery. She also needed to prove to everyone in the CIA who doubted her that she could deal with Sands.

"Do you ever consider dropping the act?" She asked.

Sands' interest piqued. "Act?"

"Come on Sands, I've read your file. No history of drug use, no criminal record, exemplary student with a 4.0 GPA making you top of your year, a masters in criminal justice and international relations, fluent in six foreign languages, passed the CIA training program along with the psychological and medical exams without any problems, even the lie detector test. You seemed to be practically perfect in every way."

"You learn off my file, Mary Poppins?"

"I have an eidetic memory, remember?"

"Vaguely. I don't retain information that I don't care about in any way. And shouldn't you have only been reading my medical file?"

"I like to get to know my patients."

Sands smirked. "I would let you get to know me very well if you'd just ask."

"No thank you." Charlie decided to play with him a little. "You're just too nice for me."

In a second, Sands had grabbed her wrists and brought her close to him. "Listen Doogie Howser; don't pretend to think you know anything about me because of a file. What's the point in getting into trouble and having all the fun as a teenager when you can wait and do it as an adult when you have the job you want, the money you need and the sense to do it right?"

"Oh so you were just biding your time pretending to be an angel?"

"I never said I was an angel. I've wanted to be an agent in the CIA my entire life and I work to get what I want. And it works every single time."

Charlie should have been expecting it, especially considering what he had just said but she was taken completely off guard when he pulled her right up against him and planted his lips on hers in a searing kiss. He grasped her waist with his hands tightly. Charlie was frozen for a few seconds before Sands felt her respond so he deepened the kiss.

When the kiss ended, Sands smirked. "Looks or should I say feels like your letting your guard down more and more, Florence Nightingale."

Charlie was annoyed with herself but tried to skim over her moment of weakness. "Are you ever going to call me by my actual name?"

Sands walked past her, stopping next to her with his mouth close to her ear so he could speak in a low and seductive voice. "When we get into bed, sugar, I won't stop saying it."

Sands walked away but Charlie was frozen.

_Damnit.

* * *

_

**Hmm, I don't think Barry will be too happy but then again, who cares?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	11. The Review

**Here's Chapter 11!**

"Where the hell is your phone?"

Charlie looked up to see Trevor standing in front of the stone bench she was sitting on. "Lost it. Why? Were you trying to call me?"

"You lost your phone?"

Charlie nodded. "Pretty much."

"First you lose your I.D. and now your phone?" Trevor asked with a raised eyebrow. "You're getting kinda sloppy, Macintosh."

Charlie sighed, thinking about her multiple make out sessions with Sands. "Don't I know it."

Trevor frowned. "Well, at least you're in the right mindset for your evaluation."

"I'll be fine. And...professional. I will do you proud, I swear."

"You better. I'm on that panel."

"I know." Charlie nodded. "Don't worry, I'm just..."

"Just what?"

Charlie didn't have a word. Worried about her own self-resolve? Too focused on the men in her life? Scared she'd give in to the lust she couldn't get over when it came to the man who was her patient? "I'll be fine."

Trevor nodded. "Alright."

He walked away and Charlie went back to looking out at the hotel gardens. She had been deep in thought before she was interrupted and now she was going back to it. And her mind was focused on what it seemed to always be focused on these days.

_I can't let him do this to me. I have to just forget about Sands as anything other than my patient. He is my patient._

_He is my patient with very kissable lips._

_No! He does not have kissable lips. Damn, where did this libido come from? I've always had better things to do than be some sort of sex maniac._

_Surely, a sex maniac would have given in by now. Many, many times._

_That doesn't sound so bad..._

_No, it is bad! Very, very bad. Better things to do!_

_Except that I don't have better things to do. I have nothing to do. Sands is my only patient, there's no surgery because there's no eyes, my personal life...well, it's not exactly thriving. Maybe this heightened libido is my own boredom. Maybe because I'm being unchallenged and I haven't had to work my brain in a while, my focus is going to other areas, letting myself try to experience all those feelings I've pushed aside for so long._

_I haven't been pushing my...lustful inclinations away._

_No, you just haven't had any. Face it; you haven't been sexually attracted to Barry for a while. Another way the relationship has gone stale._

_It's not stale, it's...steady._

_So steady, it's stopped._

Charlie huffed at her thoughts.

_You need to admit it to yourself, just giving into Sands would feel good. Wrong but good._

_That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if it feels good. Why am I even attracted to him? He's the most frustrating man!_

_Sexy, though._

_Sexy? You've seen him with no eyes!_

_Who cares?_

Charlie frowned at that immediate thought. She didn't care?

_I really don't._

_But that doesn't matter either. I cannot sleep with Sands. It's ridiculous to even consider._

_I'm not considering it. I'm just thinking about what it would be like. There's no harm in that, is there?_

_When it's your patient you're fantasizing about, there's a lot of harm. To yourself, too. You need to keep things professional in every sense._

Charlie sighed and got up from the bench to return to her room. She rifled through her bag to get her key but couldn't find it.

"Where did I...?"

Charlie stopped.

_He didn't._

_He wouldn't._

_He did have my bag for hours._

Charlie knocked on her own door with a bowed head. In a matter of seconds, she heard a voice.

"Who's there?"

Charlie glared at the door Sands was standing behind. She could practically hear him smirking.

"The person whose room that is."

"Where's your key?"

"Some jackass stole it."

She heard him huff. "Men."

"Don't get me started."

"I would love to get you started, get you all riled up."

"Open the door."

"Say the magic word."

"Botched eye transplant?"

Sands chuckled. "You wouldn't."

"It really depends on if my dislike of you outweighs my need for success. If it's a success, my reputation skyrockets. If it doesn't work out, my reputation stays as it is but I get a hell of a lot of respect for trying to do it."

Charlie waited for a few seconds and her door opened. She walked in and shut it behind her. "Get out."

Sands smirked. "You don't like my little romantic gesture?"

"Stealing my key and breaking into my room to lie in wait for me is romantic? How about stalker like?"

"I can't be a stalker until you get my eyes and I can watch you sleep. Nice bluff with the botched eye transplant by the way. I nearly tried to believe it."

"Who said I was bluffing?"

"Your motive for doing everything you've done in regards to me so far."

Charlie walked further into her room. "Well, it's been nice but I have my meeting with the heads later on and I would like to get ready so if you wouldn't mind..."

"Taking a shower with you? Not at all."

_This is the man I'm attracted to? Really?_

_Face it, if you weren't trying to resist him, that line would have made you laugh._

"I actually think I'll manage that by myself so you know where the door is."

"Better yet," Sands said, walking past her. "I know where the bed is. As you're taking a shower anyway, why not let me make you all sweaty first?"

Charlie frowned. "Why can't you take no for an answer, Sands?"

"Because your no's are becoming weaker."

"They're still no."

Sands sat up on the bed. "Then why do you kiss me back whenever I kiss you?"

Charlie didn't have an answer that didn't admit that she was attracted to him. "You're a good kisser."

Sands smirked. "Well, thank ya."

"That doesn't mean anything though. Just because I kissed you a couple of times does not mean I'm going to bed with you."

"It just means you want to."

"Why? Why do you think you're so irresistible to me?" Charlie asked, folding her arms. She was getting the last word this time if it killed her.

Sands' eyebrows shot up. "Excuse me?"

"What makes you think you're God's gift?"

"You kiss me back."

"Well, I've just explained that. What makes you think you're anything to me but a way to relieve my boredom, Sands? Think about it, I'm not up to much these days until you get a donation so as a way to get my mind working, I give myself a problem to solve, a disruption for me to fix. Now I've realised that and I'm done, moving onto something else."

Sands nodded. "So if I kissed you right now?"

"You could and I'd probably respond but now that I've realised what the point in me responding is, it's not going to be as good."

Sands stood up. "We'll see about that."

He got close to Charlie and just as he was about to press his lips to hers, she pulled back slightly. Sands frowned and she put her lips back, close to his.

"No, we won't." She left his arms. "Bye, Sands. I need to get ready."

With that, she turned and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Sands stood frozen.

_What did she just do?_

_Did she just beat me?_

_She can't do that. I always win. Especially with her._

_No, she doesn't get the last word._

_That bitch._

Sands smirked to himself.

_You know you love it._

_Yeah, I kinda do._

* * *

Charlie was just checking herself in the mirror, now in a sleek, gray office dress, with her make up and hair done. She turned when she heard a knock on the door. Thinking it was Trevor to bring her to the boardroom, she didn't think twice of going over and answering the door. The second she did, Sands' lips were on hers as he pressed her against the wall and closed the door with the hand not grasping her waist. The kiss was fiery as if he hadn't done it in years.

Sands smirked when he pulled away. "Not as good, eh?"

Charlie shrugged, still not letting him get to her. "Like I said."

His smirk widened. "There she is."

He kissed her again but Charlie pulled away after a few seconds. "Nope." She said, pushing him away and walking into her room.

Sands huffed. "And there she goes again."

Charlie turned to him. "Maybe the confident, bitchy part of me is the one refusing to do this."

"I thought I was the sociopath?"

"I refuse to be bullied into sleeping with you."

"Bullied?" Sands asked incredulously. "Listen sugar, I ain't your boyfriend. I don't have to bully you into wanting to have sex with me and I'm not going to try."

"So what do you call what you're doing? What you've been doing?"

"Giving into what I want."

"While not caring about I want?"

"What you think you should do, not want. I'm still of the belief that you do want this."

"And I still don't know why."

"Because you said so when you were drunk."

"Eh, I was drunk."

"That doesn't make you a liar. It makes you more fun but not a liar."

"So I'm a liar when I'm sober?"

Sands nodded. "Yes."

"Even if it is a lie, it's still refusing you. Is that what you can't handle? Not getting your way?"

"I don't love it."

Charlie frowned. "Is that what all this is about? You just don't like to lose and now that you've started, you have to finish?"

Sands would love to have admitted that that was the reason and usually it would have been but for some reason, he didn't think it was. "Among other things."

"Well, you'll have to cope with losing."

"Why? Why can't you accept the fact that giving in would not completely ruin your life? I mean, come on Mac, it's not all that great at the moment which you openly admitted a while ago. You're bored. So am I. Why not entertain ourselves?"

"I don't want to."

Sands huffed angrily. "Original."

Charlie was getting angry too. "I don't know what you want from me!"

"You know what I want? Just tell the fucking truth! Do you really want this to happen or not?"

"Yes! I do!" Charlie shouted, her emotions getting the better of her. "Are you happy? I am admitting it! I want to! Every time you kiss me, I can't pull away because I don't want to."

"But you do pull away!" Sands retorted. "Otherwise, we would have had sex by now! Why do you pull away if you want us to? And don't mention that asshole because we both know he doesn't factor into it."

Charlie sighed. "I'm well respected at my job, Sands and that means a lot to me. If anyone found out, I'd lose everything I worked for as well as that respect."

"No one will find out."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." Sands said. "You're gonna have to trust me, sugar that the CIA is good but I'm better."

"Maybe I don't think as highly of you as you do yourself."

"Oh really? How about we make this easier, hmm? How about instead of saying why you don't want me, tell me why you do."

"Now you're just looking to get your ego stroked."

"No, I'm genuinely asking. I was rude, I harassed you, I practically drove you insane. So, why?" Sands shrugged.

Charlie frowned. He really was a bit of a sociopath. First he wouldn't accept that she didn't want him and now that she admitted it, he didn't know why she would. Charlie didn't know that the reason Sands needed to figure these things out was because he couldn't do it himself. He found her very hard to read and as someone who read people, that annoyed him.

Charlie thought about it before realising the answer was simple. "You're the first man to make me feel wanted in a very long time."

Charlie wasn't even surprised when Sands strode up to her, grabbing her around the waist and kissed her passionately.

Charlie pulled back. "But you only want sex from me."

Sands held her tighter. "We'll see."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

Instead of answering, Sands kissed her again and Charlie wrapped her arms around him as she returned the kiss with the same fervour. He picked her up and brought her to the bed. They both collapsed on it and the kiss continued as Sands ran his hand under her dress to grasp her thigh.

"I'm not stopping this time." Sands said as he parted this kiss for a second.

"Don't." Charlie replied breathlessly which Sands loved as he pressed his lips against hers again. The hand on her thigh travelled along her skin but Charlie grasped it to stop it from reaching its destination when there was a knock on the door. She pulled away from Sands quickly.

_I finally get her onto a bed, sober and there's an interruption?_

_Fucking unbelievable._

"Charlie? It's Trevor. Come on, it's time for your meeting."

Charlie pushed Sands off of her. "Damnit, I totally forgot."

She grabbed Sands' arm quickly and pulled him up.

"This was not the roughness I was expecting."

"Shut up." She said, shoving him into the bathroom and closing the door. "If you come out, I'll give you your eyes just so I can stab them out myself."

"Alright then..."

Charlie sighed and went to open her door. "Hey."

Trevor frowned. "Were you asleep?"

Charlie frowned. "No, why?"

"Your hair." He said, walking into her room. "I know we said you're getting sloppy but I didn't think that was your appearance too."

Charlie put her hand to her hair, realising her gyrating on the bed with Sands messed it up. "I just haven't fixed it yet. Excuse me."

She hurried into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She saw Sands sitting on the side of the bath.

"Boy, Trevor has the worst timing."

"Shh!" Charlie said quickly. "He's still out there."

Sands frowned at her tone. "Why are you angry at me?"

"I wonder. 'We won't get caught', 'you have to trust me'. Moron."

"We didn't get caught."

"No thanks to you."

"Why do I have a feeling this has set my progress back a few makeout sessions?"

Charlie huffed as she finished fixing her hair. "I have to go to my meeting. Don't not come out of here until I leave and then get out of my room."

Sands stood and walked behind her, kissing her neck. "Or I could wait until you get back; relax you after that big stressful meeting..."

Charlie elbowed him to get him away from her. "Stop it." She turned to him. "I'm sorry for leading you all different ways but seriously, Trevor is talking about how I'm getting sloppy and I can't have that. Not today, not ever."

Charlie went to walk out of the bathroom but Sands' whisper stopped her.

"If he didn't interrupt us, would you have stopped again?"

Charlie looked at him. "No."

She walked out of the bathroom and Sands smirked.

* * *

Charlie sat down across from the heads in the boardroom, ready for her meeting. On the other side sat Trevor and a few other bosses that Charlie knew from the years before.

"Well, let's get started, shall we?" Crowley asked and everyone agreed. "Doctor Macintosh, I think it's safe to say everyone here is..."

Crowley stopped when the door opened and Sands walked in. "Sorry, I'm late."

Charlie frowned along with the rest of the room. She turned back to the room. "I'm sorry, I was not under the impression Agent Sands would be here for my review."

"Neither did we." Armisen said, glaring at Sands who followed Charlie's voice and was now sitting in one of the empty seats next to her.

"Well if you're all going to be talking about me and making a decision about the future of my sight, I'd like to be the first to know of your decision."

"That is not how these things work, Agent Sands." Armisen replied.

"Leave him." Trevor said tiredly. "I don't think I'm wrong in guessing that his presence won't affect our decision in any way."

The bosses all shrugged and shook their heads making it obvious that just because Sands was present didn't mean they'd deny him if they saw fit.

"Well then, let's just get on with business." Trevor said, opening his folder.

"What about Doctor Macintosh?" Armisen asked quickly. "Is it fair to her that Agent Sands, her patient, is present for her evaluation?"

Trevor looked at Charlie from over his glasses. "You okay with this, Charlie?"

"It's Doctor Macintosh." Armisen said, not liking the casual approach Trevor seemed to share with subordinates.

"It's fine." Charlie said. "I'm sure if anything, this will only augment Agent Sands' confidence in me as his doctor."

The men chuckled at her confidence but the only woman on the other side of the table, Gina Waitrose, looked at Charlie with a raised eyebrow. "You sound fairly confident that this meeting will go in your favour, Doctor Macintosh."

"I am fairly confident." Charlie replied. "That's why you hired me."

Waitrose smirked icily. "I didn't hire you."

"Which you never fail to remind me. Yet I'm still here." Charlie shot back. "Now, I believe Mr. Crowley was speaking before we were interrupted."

Crowley nodded. "Yes, thank you, Doctor Macintosh. As I was saying, your record remains in stellar shape and this new development with Agent Sands' surgery is quite interesting."

"I'm just waiting for a donation to arise." Charlie nodded.

"You have no qualms about the surgery?"

"Not one."

"That's what we like to hear." Crowley smirked. "Now if everyone would turn their attention to the figures on the screen."

Charlie sighed and Sands heard something snapping shut.

"Nice glasses."

"Thank you." He heard Charlie reply.

Sands frowned. "I didn't know you wore glasses."

He quickly realised that in normal circumstances, that wasn't really something to say to your doctor. Everyone in the room frowned at him and Charlie did too, quickly realising her looking at him with wide eyes at the slip was as good as confessing they weren't entirely professional.

"I didn't think it was integral to your recovery, Agent Sands, to let you in on the fact that my vision is not twenty-twenty."

"Better than nothing-nothing, I suppose." Sands shrugged.

"Sands, quiet." Trevor said and Sands made the motion of zipping his mouth shut.

Crowley went back to talking about the budget and Charlie was trying to pay attention but she tensed when she felt a hand on her leg under the table. She discreetly brought her hand down and took his off her thigh. Charlie's eyes widened when Sands' hand got away from hers to go under her dress, back to her thigh, squeezing it.

_Oh my God, if he doesn't stop, I will chop that hand off._

Sands' hand did leave her leg when she dug her nails into it. His hand flew away as he restrained himself from letting out a yelp of pain.

Charlie smirked and went back to concentrating on the meeting.

_I'm getting used to winning._

* * *

Sands left his meeting which had been conducted right after Charlie's had ended only to be caught up to by Trevor.

"What are you doing?"

Sands kept walking. "What do you mean?"

"Come on Sands, you know what. If you even try it, I'll take her off your case."

"That threat is getting old."

"Old but still very real. Sands, none of the other bosses know about you two's little exercise sessions because I trust Macintosh but if you're getting too into it, I can't afford you getting her into trouble."

Sands chuckled. "You sound like a fifties father and I got his daughter pregnant. I get it, no getting her pregnant. Protection at all times."

"Sands, don't mess with me. I'm getting tired of defending you when you're pissing me off."

Sands huffed and turned to Trevor. "Well, don't be gabbing in my ear and I won't be able to respond to piss you off. Goodbye."

Sands walked away and Trevor called after him.

"Where are you going?"

Sands turned back with a smirk. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Not really."

"Not worried?"

"She's gone home so not really."

Sands stopped and turned. "What? She's gone."

Now Trevor smirked. "She always leaves right after her evaluations. In case you don't remember, she hates these reviews. So yeah, gone."

Sands shrugged. "Alright then."

"So, where are you going?"

"I think I'm going to go get a free massage, maybe two, a few free prostitutes, with the CIA paying, who can count the possibilities?"

Sands walked away and Trevor looked after him. He had to trust Charlie but there wasn't any mistaking that Sands had been manipulating this entire situation to get closer to her. Charlie had never been anything but professional but so had a lot of women before Sands got to them.

He couldn't do it to her.

* * *

Charlie rolled her suitcase into her apartment, not being able to wait to collapse onto her bed. When she got to her living room, she found that that would take a while.

"Barry."

Barry looked up at her from where he was sitting. "Have a nice trip?"

Charlie frowned at his tone. "It was work. It was okay."

Barry nodded. "Work? When you're with me, you never get off your phone because of work. When I try to call you at work, your patient hangs up on me!"

Charlie sighed. She thought she'd at least get a few hours peace before this started up. "Barry..."

"You said you were going up there to talk to other doctors! What were you doing with a patient up there?"

"It's a very special case." Charlie said. "I don't understand why you're so mad."

"The guy just hung up on me and instead of calling me to apologise, you don't try to contact me for days!"

"Why should I apologise? You need to learn to not call me every tens seconds, Barry."

"Excuse me? You were the one leaving message after message on my phone, apologising. Which you seemed to have totally forgotten about."

Charlie huffed. "Maybe it was because I don't actually have anything to apologise for! I didn't do anything wrong!"

"So that fight just never happened?"

"Yes, it did but maybe and I know this sounds crazy but stick with me here, just maybe it was your fault! You were acting like a moron!"

"Don't talk to me like that!"

"I can do better! How about I never talk to you again?"

This threw Barry. "What?"

"I'm done." Charlie said. "I am done taking care of your messes, looking after you, acting like your mother and taking the blame every single time so as not to escalate any fight. You constantly put yourself before me but I never said anything! Well, I am now! I am done with this relationship. I'm done with you."

"You're breaking up with me?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing. Get out."

"Charlie, come on." Barry said uncertainly. "This is just a fight."

"No, it's an epiphany." Charlie shrugged. "I don't want to be with you and I haven't for a long time. This isn't working for me anymore. So goodbye."

Barry glared at her. "You're going to regret this."

"I don't think so."

Barry chuckled. "Call me when you come round, babe."

He left the apartment and she sighed.

_I did it._

_I can't believe I did it._

Charlie smiled.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	12. Getting Hostile

**Here's Chapter 12!**

"Hey Charlie, I heard about you and your boyfriend. I'm sorry. Ten years, that must be tough."

Charlie frowned up at Melissa, the office manager and general lapdog for the higher ups as she entered her office. "How do you know?"

"Heard it from HR." She shrugged. It was office policy to let Human Resources know about any relationships someone at the CIA may have, romantic, familial, any kind. It was a measure put in place so tabs could be kept if needs be though no one ever admitted that. But if an agent or an employee did get into trouble, went missing, died, the family or loved ones would need to be put into hiding or questioned. It was just another one of the many pleasures of working with the CIA and trying to have a private life too. "I have to know everything around here."

Charlie nodded. "I'm fine."

"Well, that's good to hear. Hey, did you see who's back?"

"Who?"

"The blind gunman himself." Melissa said, swishing her long blonde hair behind her shoulder.

"Sands is allowed back in the building?"

Melissa nodded. "I guess his evaluation went his way. Though how I don't know. Don't tell anyone I told you this but the guy got into some major shady stuff down in Mexico. Like seriously, if he succeeded, I don't think he would have been coming back here."

Charlie knew this already but she probably shouldn't have. "Wow."

"I know, right? Although I must admit, I'm glad he did come back. You would miss looking at him." She smirked.

Charlie shrugged. "I've never taken notice of him. I didn't even know him before he was my patient."

"And now that you do?"

"He's my patient, Melissa."

"For some reason, I don't think that would stop Sands." She smiled. "He's quite...intent on getting his way."

Charlie frowned. "You and he..."

"I'm not saying anything." Melissa said, putting her hands up though that was practically like admitting it. "You know the deal, no action in the office."

Charlie was curious now. Was she just a notch on Sands' belt after all? "Come on Melissa, you know everything you say is just between us girls. This place is full of guys. I miss gossip."

Melissa sat down. "Me too. Look, you didn't hear it from me but let's just say Sands' office desk has had more skirts on it than paperwork if you know what I mean."

"I can follow." Charlie said, wondering how that was in any way a double meaning. "How has he not got caught?"

"He's not an agent for the CIA for nothing. And he's one of the top ones which is probably why he's allowed back in the building."

"And you..."

"Like I said," She stood up. "Sands is quite intent on getting his way." She smirked as she left the office.

Charlie leaned back in her chair.

_I suppose its better I learn this now before things got any further._

_I am not becoming just another one of his office conquests._

"You didn't even say goodbye."

Charlie looked up to see him leaning against her doorframe.

"What?"

"At the hotel." Sands said, walking into her office. "That was cold, Mac."

Charlie huffed and got up to close her door quickly so no one would hear them. When she turned, she found Sands right behind her and he pressed her against the door, holding both of her wrists. Before he could kiss her, Charlie pushed him away.

"I didn't know I had to." She said, walking back to her desk and sitting down.

"I suppose you just couldn't wait to get home and end things with Bobby." He smirked as he sat down.

"Barry and how do you know about that?"

"Melissa is the office loudmouth."

"So I've experienced." Charlie nodded.

"Usually she annoys the crap out of me but today she was quite helpful."

"Today? And any other day you were looking for a hook up?"

Sands' smirk dropped. "What?"

"Office loudmouth. Apparently, she's as much the office gossip as you are the office whore."

"Well, that's just rude."

"You know where the door is."

"Actually, I don't. I'm blind, remember?"

"Is that why you were going after the doctor instead of any of the other girls? Convenience?"

"Mac, you know why I'm going after you."

"You weren't allowed in the building to get to your usual harem?"

"I snuck in here to see you...so to speak."

"Well, you don't have to sneak anymore. And you don't need me anymore now that you have full access to willing females. Off you go."

"Wait a second, you refuse to do anything with me because you have a boyfriend, then you refuse to do anything with me because of your job then I very nearly get you to sleep with me even so far as you breaking up with your boyfriend and now just because I haven't been celibate my entire life, you're refusing again? I'm beginning to think you're more chicken shit than I originally thought."

"Think what you want, Sands." She said. "Just as long as you're not doing it in my office."

Sands got up and left her office and Charlie looked after him, trying to curb her feeling of disappointment.

* * *

"How does it feel being back?"

"Just peachy. Like I never left."

Trevor frowned. "Why are you in such a bad mood? I would have thought you'd like being back at work."

"Oh yeah," Sands said from where he sat behind his desk. "I just love dragging my ass in here to do nothing. Do you know I'm missing Oprah for this?"

"Funny. Look Sands, you could have been fired and you should have been so maybe you should consider this a blessing."

"I'm not a meetings type of person. I'm an agent. I go out and shoot people. Shooting people in the office isn't as fun."

"You have no eyes. You're not going out onto the field until you do."

Sands was about to reply when he heard an alarm go off. An alarm to signal there were intruders in the building.

"Stay here." Trevor said, leaving the office.

"Yeah cause that will happen." Sands replied, getting out of his chair and walking out to the halls where the other agents were doing the same thing.

"What's going on?" Peterson, another agent asked Sands.

"Asking the blind guy. Yup, it's easy to see how you got this job." Sands said sarcastically.

The alarms stopped and everyone frowned.

"Okay everyone," Armisen said, walking through the halls. "False alarm. Rat chewing wires or something. Back to work."

Sands heard people return to their offices but he wasn't convinced. "What really happened?"

Armisen looked at him. "Rat. They're all over the building today."

"Ooh, that one stung, Robbie." Sands said, pretending to feel a pain in his heart before returning to his office and waiting for Trevor.

"Damn rats..."

"Don't fob that bullshit rat story off on me." Sands said. "What really happened?"

"I don't know what you mean." Trevor said, not at all trying to be convincing.

"Did you kill the "rats"?"

"Animal cruelty is wrong, Sands."

"If it were rats, why was medical assistance called for?"

Trevor frowned. "Where did you hear that?"

"Melissa told me."

Trevor huffed. "Gossipy bitch. I'd fire her if she weren't so easy."

"I know, it's great but back to the medical assistance that you just admitted to."

"That I...?"

"Yeah, Melissa told me nothing. She hasn't been around. But it got you angry to think she had." Sands smirked. "So who needed assistance and who were these intruders?"

"Let it go, Sands."

"Melissa told me it was...Huh; I guess that doesn't work as well when I've already admitted I haven't seen her."

"No, it does not. Stop enquiring." Trevor said, leaving his office.

Sands tapped his fingers on his desk.

_What if they were from Mexico?_

_I killed or had killed literally everyone in Mexico._

_Okay, not literally every Mexican ever but anyone who knew me, anyone on the bad side._

_Did I, though?_

_I need to find out who that was._

_And I know how._

Sands smirked.

_Medical assistance..._

_You really gotta love her._

* * *

_Oh wow, this feels so good._

Charlie had just submerged into what had to be the most relaxing bubble bath ever to just get away from everything and everyone and focus on feeling good for a change. She closed her eyes and relaxed.

Which didn't last long when her intercom buzzed.

_No. No! I am not getting up! I am not leaving this lovely bath! Whoever that is can just go away!_

Charlie opened her eyes when the buzzing continued. She frowned, realising anyone who ever wanted her always called her cell phone, no one ever just dropped by. And Charlie liked it that way.

"Fine! I'm getting up!"

She got up, wrapped a towel around herself and left the bathroom, walking out in into her hallway and pressing the speak button.

"Hello?"

"Hey sugar."

Charlie frowned. "Sands?"

"Gonna let me up?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"What are you doing...How do you know where I live?"

"I work for the CIA."

"Why are you here?"

"I have to talk to you."

Charlie frowned. "Is something wrong?"

"If I say yes, will you stop making me stand on the side of the street and let me in?"

Charlie looked down at herself in her towel. "I'm kinda busy."

"Doing what?"

"How is that your business?"

"Charlie, would you just let me in?"

Charlie huffed. "Fine."

She buzzed him in and went into her bedroom to change into some clothes. It wasn't long before she heard the knock on her door. She walked over and opened it, seeing Sands standing on the other side.

"Charlie?" He frowned.

Charlie realised. "Oh, I'm sorry. Come in."

Sands walked in. "Nice place."

"You can't see it."

"Just making conversation."

Charlie huffed and led him into her living room. She saw Sands run his hand along the couch as if marking out his way around the room. "What's wrong? What couldn't you say to me over the phone?"

The next second, Sands turned her and kissed her passionately. Charlie's initial reaction was to respond to the great kiss she was experiencing but once her mind cleared and today came back to her, she pulled back.

"What the hell was that?"

"It's always easier to get stuff out of you when your guard is down and I have found an excellent way of doing so," Sands held her close to him. "And might I say, quite enjoyable."

"What? What do you want to know?"

"There was a disturbance in the agency today. Apparently it was so bad that medical help was needed. That's where you come in. What happened?"

"It's confidential."

"Trevor was involved too so I hear. Which leads me to believe..."

"It has something to do with you."

"Exactly. Am I right?"

"You heard the exact same confidentiality lecture when taking the job that I did. Can't be discussed."

"I'm not asking you to discuss it. I'm asking you to say yes or no."

"Sands..."

"Did the disturbance today have anything to do with what happened in Mexico?"

"I can't..."

"Were those people looking for me?"

Charlie sighed. "No."

Sands nodded. "Good. That's good."

"It is. Now..."

"Why are you in such a rush to get rid of me? Or reluctant to let me into your apartment in the first place?"

"Why? Because of this." Charlie said, her hand going to his on her hip. "Because you shouldn't be here. Because I am your doctor, we work together, it's against the rules. Because..."

Charlie was silenced when Sands pressed his lips against her again. She felt his tongue run over her bottom lip and she opened her mouth to let him deepen the kiss.

"Sands." She said, pulling back slightly. "We can't."

"Shut up." Sands said, lifting her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist. He brought her over to the couch and Charlie realised why he needed to map out his surroundings. His hand grasped her thigh and he realised it was bare.

"What are you wearing?"

"What? What does that matter?"

"Believe me, it matters."

"Shorts and a tank top."

"Getting ready for me?"

"I didn't think it would matter what I wore since you can't see and I didn't think we'd be doing this."

Sands smirked and began kissing her again. His hand began stroking her thigh and he was quite surprised when she didn't stop him. Usually when he got too close like that, she pulled away.

Sands cursed when he heard her phone ring. He felt her go to get it but put his hands on her hips, forcing her back down. "Don't answer it."

"No, I have to answer it." Charlie said.

"No you don't. Would you rather deal with your ex or stay here with me?"

"How do you know it's Barry?"

"Because I know."

"Sands, I have to answer it. It could be work."

"It's not. They'd call the cell phone they gave you if they wanted you. Don't answer it."

Charlie huffed and got up to answer it. Sands grabbed her wrist to stop her but was surprised when she let out a shout of pain.

Sands felt her wrist. "Your wrist is bandaged."

Charlie grimaced. "I hurt it."

"It wasn't hurt today." Sands realised. Neither noticed that the phone had stopped ringing. "They weren't there for me. They were there for you. About me. This," He held her wrist tighter evoking a hiss of pain from her. "Was a warning."

"Sands, I..."

"Tell me the truth, Charlie."

"You're right. It was."

"What happened?"

"I ca..."

Sands grabbed her wrist tighter. "Tell me now."

"Ow! Okay, I will! Just let go of my wrist!"

"Tell me!"

"Two men caught me and said if I did the surgery and undid Barillo's work, they'd kill me. They cut up my arm as a warning because obviously I need my arm for surgery. Then they broke my wrist. Now let go."

Sands didn't. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I told you, I couldn't." Charlie said, he was really hurting her wrist.

"You couldn't? This is my fucking life Charlie!"

"I know that but Sands you have to let go of my wrist."

"I killed Barillo's daughter! They're going to kill me if they find me!"

"Sands!"

Sands let her go roughly and heard her gasp. Charlie held her wrist to her, knowing he definitely ripped some of her stitches.

"This is fucking unbelievable." Sands said.

"They don't know where you are." Charlie said angrily. "I wouldn't tell them. That's when they broke it. You were going to be told."

"Oh really? And when was that going to be?"

"Of course they were going to tell you, you're one of their agents!"

"They left me for dead in Mexico!"

"They sent me out to help you in Mexico!" Charlie said, noticing the blood seeping through her bandages. "Get out."

"What?"

"I said get out."

"I'm not leaving until..."

"I told you everything!"

"No you didn't." Sands said, grabbing her wrist again. "You didn't tell me who actually did this." Sands realised he felt the warm liquid on her wrist. "You're bleeding?"

"Get out." Charlie heard her cell phone begin to ring. "Sands."

Sands jaw tensed. "Fine."

Sands turned and left the apartment, really thankful that he remembered his steps and didn't bump into anything that would ruin his storm out.

Charlie looked after him before going over to her phone and seeing Barry's name on the screen. Charlie huffed and put it back down, deciding to let it ring out. She would probably have to go to the hospital to have her stitches redone. She couldn't do it herself with one hand so she wrapped a towel around her arm tightly and put on some sandals. She was putting on a cardigan when the door opened and Sands burst back in.

"Sands?"

Sands followed her voice, walking over to her and taking her other wrist. "Come on."

"What are you doing?" Charlie asked as he began dragging her out of the apartment.

"Taking you to the hospital, what do you think? Hurry up."

"I can take myself."

"No you can't."

"Excuse me?"

"If you go to the hospital you will be questioned and you're a shit liar."

"Why do I need to lie?"

"Because they will ask you how this happened and you're going to say I did it?"

"Well, no."

"Lie number one. They will then ask your name and profession and when you say doctor, they'll ask where. You're going to say the CIA?"

"No."

"Lie number two. Then they're going to want your insurance and your insurance I'm going to bet is covered by the..."

"CIA."

They stopped outside the elevators and waited as Charlie pressed the button. "The CIA will see that you had an accident and after today, will wonder what happened to you now. You're going to tell them that I was at your apartment, we were about to have sex, I ripped open your stitches and you broke a confidentiality agreement and told me why you had stitches in the first place?"

"No."

"There you go. That's why I'm going with you." Sands said.

"So you're only coming with me to cover your own ass?"

"Better than getting fucked over because you can't tell a simple lie. So I am going with you, I will pay cash and your insurance won't be needed and hence no CIA heads need to find out about any of this."

"I'll pay for it myself."

"Shut up. I did it, I'll pay for it."

"I don't need you helping me."

The elevator doors opened and they both got in and Charlie pressed the button for the ground floor.

"God woman, I wish just once when I told you to shut up, you'd actually do it."

Charlie huffed. "I'm not letting you do me any favours."

"This isn't a favour; this is making sure you don't get us both fired."

"They wouldn't fire you."

"Just have me found dead of a "suicide" or something."

"For ripping open some of my stitches?"

"For going behind their backs to find out what happened. Not everything is about you. Actually, nothing is about you. I'm just walking on a very thin line and one more mistake will have them wanting to fire me but needing to get rid of me since I've "seen" too much."

They felt the elevator stop and got out, Charlie frowning when Sands put his arm around her waist and started guiding her out of the building.

"What the hell are you doing now?"

"There are doormen and security and night people around here. Make it look like we actually give a crap about each other and I'm not some crazy man who's after injuring you and is now kidnapping you from the hotel."

"Yes because that would be so far-fetched..."

"Shut up and lean into me."

Charlie huffed and placed her head on his shoulder. They got outside and Sands let her go.

"Hail a cab."

Charlie looked out for one and when she saw one coming, did so. The car stopped and she grabbed Sands, getting in.

"The hospital, please." She said.

The cab driver looked at them through the mirror. "You better not get any blood on my seats, ya hear me?"

Sands frowned. "Shut up and drive the fucking cab."

"Listen buddy, you want this cab to go anywhere, you cut the fucking attitude."

"I'm not paying you for an etiquette lesson fuckmook; I'm paying you to do your fucking job. Which is to drive the fucking cab. And that doesn't need for you to talk."

"Listen fucker, if you don't shut..."

"Would the both of you shut the fuck up and get me to a hospital?" Charlie said. "I'm bleeding quite heavily back here."

The cabdriver huffed and pulled off, beginning to drive.

Sands huffed too and began muttering. "Fucking..."

"Shut up Sands." Charlie said.

"What? I was sticking up for you, you ungrateful..."

"Ungrateful what? What should I be grateful for? I wouldn't need to go to the damn hospital if it weren't for you."

"Modern day Prince Charming..." The cabdriver muttered.

Sands huffed and closed the divider of the cab, blocking the cab driver out. He turned back to Charlie. "You should have told me. You were risking my life and the last time I checked, my life wasn't yours to risk."

"And as was made clear today, I'm risking my life for your life. But guess what? I'm not being a baby about it. Those men don't scare me."

"They should."

"You said all of Barillo's men were dead."

"They were. That's why you should be scared. I have no idea whose henchmen they are."

"Why would they care about Barillo if they weren't his henchmen?"

"I don't know."

"Maybe there were two left. And they effectively screwed themselves today by breaking into the CIA. They'll be found in a matter of hours now if they haven't been already."

"Trevor would have called you if they were."

"That could have been him on the phone." Charlie said then quickly remembering that Barry called her. What the hell did he want?

"Your cell phone was ringing as I left. Was that Trevor?"

Charlie hesitated. "No."

Sands frowned. "Who was it?"

"I don't understand how you think all of my business is your business."

"So it was him. I told you." Sands smirked. "And you didn't answer as he tried you on your cell phone."

"I was a little busy. What with you ripping open my arm and all."

"Still," Sands said, making Charlie frown at how unremorseful he was. "You could have answered it and gotten him to take you to the hospital."

"I don't need anyone to take me to the hospital."

"You're independent, I get it. Don't need no man, woman power, all that crap."

"No, I just don't need the man who did it in the first place trying to use me to cover his own ass. Why should I let you?"

"Because if you don't, you lose your job too. I was in your apartment. We were on your couch, you certainly weren't saying no."

"I did say no."

"You weren't saying no for long. If your phone didn't ring, we'd be having sex right now."

"No we wouldn't."

"Eh, yes we would."

"Not a chance."

"Look sugar, I don't do it a lot seeing as I don't have to but I know what foreplay is and that was foreplay."

"No it wasn't. It was just kissing."

"You really think my hand would have just stayed on your thigh? And you had no intention of pulling away."

"If I had moved your hand, you would have realised about my wrist."

"Oh so you were going to have sex with me to keep me from finding out your secret?"

"I wasn't going to have sex with you at all."

Sands chuckled. "Whatever makes you feel better, sugar."

"And don't call me sugar."

"What?"

"I'm not yours to give a pet name to."

"Don't think you're special, sugar. I call every woman that."

"Some of us don't appreciate it."

"You're the first to complain."

"I don't appreciate it."

"Tough."

"What?"

The cab stopped and they got out, Charlie paying the taxi driver.

"Tell your boyfriend it's night, he don't need sunglasses."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "He's blind, moron."

She left and went into the hospital with Sands and they walked up to the nurses' station.

"She needs to see a doctor." Sands said.

"You're kidding." The night nurse said sarcastically. "She's the only one."

Sands was about to talk back to her but Charlie got in there first. "It's just a few stitches."

"Fill this out and wait over there." The nurse said, handing her a form. "We'll get to you as soon as possible."

"Thank you." Charlie took the form and brought Sands to go sit down.

"Don't put your real name."

"I have to put my real name Sands."

"You put a fake name, we pay in cash, there's no follow up because it'll be done in the CIA."

Charlie huffed. "Fine."

"What other questions are there?"

"Address."

"Fake it."

"Phone number."

"Fake it."

"Emergency contact."

"Fake it."

"Gender."

"Funny."

"Event type. I can say isolated event, war, civil conflict, natural disaster, terrorism or other."

"I'd put war but..."

"Isolated incident it is. Intent?"

"Unintentional."

"Yeah right. Place, home. Hmm, what was I doing? There doesn't seem to be getting interrogated by a psychopath...I'll have to write that in 'other' I suppose."

"Mac..."

"Recreation slash leisure it is. Mechanism of injury."

"What's there?"

"What about sexual assault? I'm pretty sure what you were doing..."

"We were done by then."

"I have a feeling you got off on it. I'll put cut. Oh, there's a whole section on who did it..."

"You did it."

"You know, I could always tell the CIA you came to question me about what happened today and injured my arm until I told you and just leave what happened in between out of the story. I'm sure they'd believe you'd do something like that."

Sands' jaw tensed. "You tell them that then I tell them the entire truth. They'll at least look into it."

"What will they find? The only evidence is my word against yours and I think mine holds more sway."

"Do you?"

"After the stunt you pulled in Mexico, yeah I do. I, on the other hand, have a spotless record."

"Little miss goody two shoes."

"Or else I just pulled this same stunt with all the other men I've had affairs with and none of them are around to tell their side of the story anymore."

"So you admit we're having an affair?"

"No. You've gotten no where near getting me into an affair and if tonight proves anything, my guard stays up around you which means my clothes stay on." Charlie went to the next form. "Personal details, great." She filled out everything fake again that she had before.

"Anything else?"

"Occupation."

"Fake."

"Why can't I say doctor?"

"They'll ask you about where you work, who you know in the profession."

Charlie realised. "What if I know people here?"

"How would you?"

"From medical school."

"Act confused. Say you're not her. You just look like her. It happens, people look alike."

"With the same voice?"

"You were unpopular. No one cared enough to remember your voice. It'll be a surprise if they remember you at all."

Charlie huffed, returning to the form. "Marital status. Single..."

"There's no 'in a relationship', 'de facto' or anything?"

"I'm not in a relationship."

"I'm acting as your boyfriend. God Mac, would you at least try to make this seem authentic?"

"I wonder why I'm reluctant..." Charlie finished up the form. "I'm going to go hand this up."

Charlie handed up the form and sat back down, waiting. They both sat in silence for a while, neither having anything to say to the other.

"How's your arm?" Sands asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine." Charlie replied, taken by surprise. "I've been through worse."

"Have you? They could have ended your career."

"My arm will be fine. I just need to let it heal properly. They didn't do much damage."

"Lucky you."

Charlie looked at him. "I'm still doing your surgery."

"Trevor won't let you."

"I made it clear today that I am still doing your surgery."

"Why?"

"It'll be great for..."

"Don't try to bullshit me and pretend that you care more about your reputation of being a great doctor over your own life. The truth."

Charlie hesitated.

"Mac?"

"Ms. Thompson!" The nurse said exasperatedly, clearly after having called the name several times.

"Oh shit, that's me." Charlie said, turning. "Yes?"

The nurse walked over. "You forgot to fill out your insurance."

"Oh," Charlie said. "I..."

"She doesn't have insurance." Sands said.

The nurse looked at him with a raised eyebrow before looking at Charlie. "You don't have insurance?"

"No." Charlie said. "Haven't got around to it yet."

"We'll be paying with cash." Sands said.

The nurse looked at him suspiciously. "We can offer assistance if she qualifies."

"Paying with cash will be fine."

The nurse turned to Charlie. "We can offer you assistance if you qualify."

"I'm fine." Charlie said, realising that the nurse was saying they could help her if she needed it. Like calling the police and having an abusive boyfriend arrested without endangering Charlie by having her do it herself.

"You're sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright," The nurse said. "Well if you change your mind..." She walked back to her nurses' station and Charlie huffed.

"Great way to make us seem like a loving couple, jackass."

"She thinks I did it to you?"

"You did do it to me. And the asshole persona is only reinforcing the thought that you did it. She's going to keep her eye on us now. You'll be lucky if she doesn't call the police anyway."

"Why would she?"

"Let's think, shall we? My arm is ripped open; you have to wear sunglasses at night making it look like you're hiding something like maybe dilated pupils..."

"I'm not hiding anything. There's nothing there to hide, remember?"

"And then you acting like you own me isn't doing anything any good."

"I'm protecting you. You get caught out lying..."

"Which you forced me to do in the first place."

"And more and more questions will be asked."

"And you're only protecting yourself. Don't act like you give a damn about protecting me."

"Would you ever just...Is it obvious to people around us that we're arguing?"

"I would assume so."

Sands put his hand on her leg. "How are you feeling?"

"Oh get away from me." Charlie said, turning away from him.

"God, no wonder this isn't the worst thing you've been through. People must want to throw a chair at you after having to sit next to you for this long."

"No one is asking you to stay. Actually no one asked you to come."

"Do you have the money with you to pay for this?"

"No."

"Then you need me."

The thought shook Charlie immensely.

* * *

"Well," Charlie said as they stopped outside her apartment door. "Goodnight."

"I'm not finished talking to you."

"Sands, its three thirty in the morning. It can wait till tomorrow."

"No it can't. I..." Sands frowned when the phone began to ring from inside Charlie's apartment. "He's still trying to call you?"

Charlie opened her apartment and walked in, going to the phone. She realised Sands was going to be coming in too. She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Charlie, where have you been? I've been calling you all night."

"I...was asleep."

"You were asleep? And you didn't hear the phone ring once?"

"I took a sleeping pill. Very tired."

"Are you lying to me?"

"No, I am not lying to you." Charlie said, getting a shock when she felt Sands' lips on her neck and his arms wrapped around her waist from behind. She took the phone away from her mouth and turned to him. "Stop it." She whispered.

"Not a chance. I want you to get caught."

"Why?"

"Charlie?" Barry said. "Is someone there with you?"

"What? No. I just turned on the TV." Charlie said, biting her lip to stop her from saying anything to Sands. "Barry, is there something you actually wanted to say to me?"

"There's a lot. We need to talk."

"No, you don't." Sands said into her other ear.

"No we don't." She took the phone away and turned to Sands who was smirking. "I was going to say that anyway and shut up." She took the phone again. "I've said pretty much everything I've wanted to."

"So you're throwing away ten years?"

"Yes." Sands said.

"Yes." Charlie said, turning to Sands. "Stop it."

"Charlie!" Barry said.

"Barry, it's the middle of the night. Go to sleep. Goodnight." Charlie hung up the phone and Sands turned her, kissing her roughly.

Charlie pulled back. "I'm going to say the same to you. Goodnight Sands."

"Mac..."

"Goodnight Sands."

Sands smirked. "You're going to send me out into the night on my own?"

"I'm sure you'll be fine."

"That's what they said when they were sending me to Mexico."

Charlie frowned. "Why don't you want to leave?"

"I thought I made that obvious." Sands said, grasping her waist.

Sands made one thing very obvious but Charlie wondered if he wasn't making the real reason obvious.

_Is he trying to stay with me...to protect me?_

_Okay, this is Sands. Don't be ridiculous._

_Well those guys did threaten me over him. Maybe he wants to stay with me in case they come looking for me again._

_Once again, this is Sands._

"If I let you stay here," Charlie said. "We won't be sleeping together."

"Why not?"

_See?_

"Because I just broke up with my boyfriend of ten years. I'm not ready to have another man in my bed yet. And if I was, you'd be the worst man to choose."

"You know that's not true."

"Sands, look at all the work we had to go through tonight just because you might have been caught in my apartment. If we actually slept together..."

"It'd be amazing." Sands said, his lips going to her neck.

"You really don't strike me as the type who is this desperate for one woman."

"Listen sugar, I ain't desperate. It's just once I've set my eye on something, metaphorically or otherwise, I strive to get it. A little work never hurt nobody."

"So the only reason you want me is so you can prove to yourself that you can get me?"

"Among other reasons."

"Other reasons? Sands, go home. I'm going to bed."

Charlie walked into her bedroom but Sands followed her footsteps. "What the hell did I do now?"

Charlie looked up from taking off her sling to looking at him. "Nothing. You didn't do anything. Now would you please leave so I can go to bed?"

Sands huffed. "Fine." He began walking out of the room but soon heard her sigh exasperatedly. He turned back. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Charlie."

"I'm having a little difficulty...getting out of my clothes."

Sands smirked. "Want some help?"

"No. God, do you ever stop?"

"No." Sands walked over to her. "Look, with your eyes and my hands, we're almost one functioning person. Speaking of eyes, I have none. I won't see anything."

Charlie sighed. She did need help. "Fine."

Sands nodded and his hand went to her top. "Raise your arms."

Charlie did so and Sands lifted the top over her head, throwing it to the floor. His hands grazed down her skin to get to her shorts and Sands unbuttoned them, pulling them down her legs.

"I could have done that myself." Charlie said, trying to get herself out of the very dangerous territory she had just gotten herself into.

"Believe me, I don't mind." Sands said, very aware of the fact that she was standing in front of him in nothing but her underwear. He didn't think he'd craved his eyesight this hard since he'd lost it.

"Well, thank you." Charlie said, walking over to her nightdress and putting it on quickly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Mac..."

Charlie sighed. "You can sleep on the couch...if you want."

"The couch?"

"Or the spare bedroom."

"Mac, this...Wait, you have a spare bedroom and you offered the couch first?"

Charlie smiled and took his hand, leading him into the spare bedroom. "Here. And I'm only doing this because I don't want the security guards thinking I have strange men in here coming and going at all hours of the night."

"Why aren't you pissed with me?"

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"About your arm. I used your pain to get information from you and you're acting like it never happened, why?

"I know the kind of person you are, Sands. I'm not expecting you to be anything different with me." Charlie walked out of the room and back into her own, getting into bed and turning out the lamp. She lay her head down and closed her eyes.

She had been trying to sleep for a while when she heard the door open and footsteps behind her before feeling the mattress dip with the extra weight. She felt Sands wrap his arm around her from behind.

"Sands..."

"Shut up and go to sleep, sugar."

* * *

**I hope you liked this really long chapter!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	13. Control

**Here's Chapter 13!**

"Sands, are you awake?"

"Would it be worth my while to say yes?"

"It depends. I'm not sleeping with you." Charlie waited for a reply. "Sands?" She rolled her eyes when she heard a snore. "Sands!"

"What? I was sleeping."

Charlie huffed. "Why do you do that?"

"Do what? Sleep? Because I need to."

"I meant," Charlie put her hand against her forehead in frustration. "Why do you try to annoy me if you want me?"

"Because that's who I am and I know it won't run you off." Sands said.

"How do you know that?"

"Well, for one I'm in your bed and it's not the first time we've shared a bed though the fact the we've done this more than once and haven't actually had sex yet is a tad grating. I also know it because you can handle my annoying you."

"I sometimes wonder."

"I don't. If I thought you couldn't, I wouldn't do it. I am trying to get you to have sex with me after all. But you're not a softie so I don't try too hard."

"So you annoy me even though you're trying to sleep with me because you know I can handle it? But God forbid I might actually want to be treated nicely."

"God forbid. Listen, if you could stick with that asshole for ten years then being treated nicely is not number one on your list of wants."

"So you're just like him?"

"No. I actually know you."

"Oh, do you? What do you know?"

Sands huffed and sat up. "I know you like to act like you care about rules and you're a goody two shoes but deep down you don't give a fuck about anything but getting ahead. You're not not sleeping with me because the CIA says you can't or because it would be wrong, you're not doing it because you're not the one in control of this situation but you are as long as you're say no and you love that."

"If that was true, I'd say it."

"Oh really?" Sands asked. "Do you remember what you threatened the first time we met?"

Charlie thought back. "That I'd give you purple eyes? It was a joke."

"You did it because I was being a smartass. Then after you gave me my prosthetics, my drugged up self made it very clear I was planning on ravishing your little self in every way I could. Then what did you do?"

Charlie frowned. "Nothing."

"Exactly. You didn't tell me, I had to find out from Trevor. Then you wouldn't tell me what I said. Why did you do those things? Or rather, not do them?"

"Because it was embarrassing."

"No, because if I had woken up and you let me know what I did, it would have made it seem like I got to you. You couldn't give me that control. Then you wouldn't tell me what I said because that gave you back the power in the situation. The first night we kissed, you were all over me."

"No, I wasn't!"

"Yes, you were. It was a big filthy lie but your hands were on me. Why did you do that?"

"Because you were being unreasonable."

"And you had to control me?"

Charlie shook her head. "No, that's not..."

"Face it sugar, you like control. You take pride in being like that in your work and now that your douchebag insecure-inducing boyfriend is out of the picture, you can be like that in your private life too. Embrace it sugar, it's very sexy."

"So you want me to be controlling? That seems to be the opposite of your dream woman."

"I've never made any bones about the fact that I like you being a strong woman. Well, I've made one but..."

"So," Charlie interrupted, ignoring his last comment. "You're a control freak but you want me to be one too? How would that work?"

"Amazingly." Sands said before kissing her roughly, pressing his upper body against hers.

Charlie pushed him off her. "I told you, no. There. Controlling."

"Why did you want to wake me up if not for midnight sex?"

Charlie frowned. "Sands, its morning."

"Oh...blind."

Sands sighed and then felt her hand on the side of his face. "I will fix that."

He frowned. "Is this you caring about me or your job?"

"Can't it be both?"

"So you care about me?"

"I thought that would be obvious?"

Sands stayed still for a few seconds before bolting out of the bed and out of the room.

Charlie looked after him, wide eyed. "Sands?"

Charlie heard her front door slam.

"What. The. Fuck?"

* * *

"How's the wrist?"

Charlie looked up at Trevor as he walked into her office. "It's fine. I'm full of painkillers."

"Isn't that always the way to be?" He quipped.

"Did you find those guys yet?" She asked.

Trevor sighed. "Not yet. If they're good enough to be able to break into the CIA then they're very, very good."

"Good enough to know where I live?" Charlie asked.

"It's a possibility."

"Trevor, these guys were serious. They'll kill me if I keep helping Sands."

"I told you, you don't have to."

"But I will." Charlie said. "You wouldn't have hired me if I was scared of threats."

"We could try and relocate you if you don't feel safe at home alone or even send an agent to keep watch of your building."

Charlie shook her head. "No, I refuse to be scared of my own home."

"Charlie, you're a doctor. You don't have to be a hardass. You're not a trained agent like Sands; you don't have to act like those guys didn't get to you."

"I know that but I'm not acting."

"They broke your wrist. That's serious."

"I'm a doctor, I know that. It's just..."

Trevor's phone went off and he answered it. "Hello? Really? I'll be right there."

Trevor got up. "Looks like you're safe."

"They were found?" Charlie asked.

"That's what I'm going to find out but hopefully. I'll let you know what happens."

"Thanks." Charlie called after him as he left her office. She let out a sigh of relief, putting her head in her hand.

_Thank God.

* * *

_

Sands was swivelling in his chair, not much else to do when his phone rang. He stopped and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Agent Sands, my office. I trust you can make your way there on your own?"

"I think I remember." He said in response to Gina Waitrose's voice on the other end of the phone. He put it down and got up, walking along and really hoping he didn't bump into anything.

_Thank God I know this place like the back of my hand._

_You should, you used to practically live here._

_And I suppose the rehab helped a little. Damn her._

Sands got the door and knocked.

"Come in."

Sands walked in and waited.

"Agent Sands, it's good to see you back at work."

"I bet seeing anything is good." He said, walking over to the table and putting his hands on it to know when to stop himself.

"I suppose so." She replied.

"Is there a reason you wanted to see me?" He asked. "Or was it just to tell me how good it is to see?"

He heard her get up and walk around to him. "Tsk, tsk, Sands, you never used to need reminding of why I was calling you to my office."

"I've been away for quite a long time."

"I know. It's been quite uneventful here without you."

"I'm sure you could have found someone to do to pass the time."

"Still as crass as ever."

"Thank you."

"Oh, don't thank me yet." She said, sliding herself in between where his hands were settled on the table. "Let me say welcome home properly first."

"I...Really?"

She frowned. "You've never minded before."

"Before was before. This is now."

_I have other...commitments to deal with._

"Well, I miss before." Gina said. "So are you going to let me relive the past? If I recall, you enjoyed yourself back then too."

"Well, that is true." He smirked.

"There's also the fact that I'm your boss."

"Once again, very true."

_It's not like those other commitments ever have to know. And it has been quite a long time. And she is offering it up on a plate._

"So are you going to follow my orders?" She asked.

Sands smirked. "I think it's my duty as good CIA agent to follow orders."

"Good."

* * *

Charlie tried to get back to her work but was too focused to wait for someone to come through her door. Anyone. She needed her phone to ring or something. Just some bit of information. She got up and took a book from her shelf and went back to her table, beginning to read. She was several chapters in when Trevor walked back into her office and dropped something onto her desk. She looked at it and her eyes widened.

"What are you doing with that?" She asked, picking up her stolen I.D. card.

"We caught those guys." Trevor said. "They had that on them. That's how they got into the building. Scanned the code on it, that's why it took security so long to pick up on their presence in the building."

"But...I got robbed by a homeless guy." She said. "And he wasn't one of those big men."

"That's what's interesting. How did they get it? The only thing we can suspect is that he was working for them and they were scoping you out long before anyone guessed. The robbery was a set up to get your pass."

Charlie stood up. "No. I would have known if people were following me."

"Calm down."

"Calm down? Oh, I'm sorry but finding out that people might have been following me for weeks is not a settling thought."

_Oh God. Sands!_

Charlie sat back down. "Oh God."

Trevor watched her. "Why don't you go home for the rest of the day?"

Charlie looked at him. "I can't just leave work."

"You don't seem to be working too hard."

"Well give me something to do then."

Trevor huffed. "Fine. Go and alert the other heads to these developments and I'll take a break."

Charlie frowned. "I'm your assistant now?"

"You're the one who wanted the work to do." He said, dropping the several files with the information onto her desk.

"Do you hate me?"

"No, I really like you. Which is why I get to do things like this with you. See ya." Trevor said, walking out of her office.

Charlie huffed and got up, taking the files with her.

She went to each office, dropping off the files and eventually got to the last and least liked office door.

_Why do women not like other women?_

_Stupid bitches._

Charlie was about to knock on Waitrose's door when she heard noises from the inside. She put her ear close to the door with a frown but pulled away quickly when she heard moaning from the other side.

_Oh my God!_

She didn't know what to do but eventually her indignation got the better of her and she knocked, deciding that interoffice trysts were not going to get in the way of her work. She heard Gina cursing and a lot of fumbling around and she couldn't help but smirk. She'd never liked Gina and now the thought that she'd have something to use against her was a nice one.

Charlie looked when the door opened and Sands was on the other side. He had a smirk, clearly showing off as he didn't know who was on the other side of the door and probably assumed it was another guy.

"Excuse me." He smirked, walking past her and down the hall.

"No problem." She replied coolly and though she didn't look at him, she saw Sands stop and turn in her peripheral vision before walking inside and closing the door behind her.

Sands was frozen in the corridor.

_Well..._

_Shit.

* * *

_

Charlie was in her office doing paper work when the door opened and Sands walked in without knocking.

"I'm busy, Sands." She said, not looking up from her paperwork.

"I'm sure you can take a few minutes to talk to me."

"Talk about what?"

"You know what." He said, sitting down.

Charlie sighed and took off her glasses. When he didn't talk, she shrugged. "Well, say what you want to say then."

"I suppose it wouldn't be worth my while to say it's not what you think."

"How do you know what I think?"

"What do you think, if that's the case?"

"I don't think anything about it. I don't care." She said, putting back on her glasses and looking down at her work.

"Bullshit."

"Alright, then."

"You don't care? You caught me with another woman and you don't care?"

"No, I don't."

"You told me this morning that you care."

"Wait, that's why you ran out of there? I said I cared about getting you your eyes, you moron!"

Sands tensed. "That's what you meant?"

"Yes! We were talking about your eyes! I said I'd fix them, you asked if I was caring about my job or you and I said both! I'd be a pretty pathetic doctor if I didn't care about my patient's welfare!"

"So you don't care about what you just saw?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Well, that's just dandy." Sands smiled, getting up. "See you later."

"Bye."

Sands left the office and Charlie began writing again. But it only took a few seconds before he burst into her office again.

"Why don't you care?"

"Hmmm?"

"We were making out on your couch last night, I slept in your bed and you don't care that you caught me having sex with another woman in her office today? You're saying I haven't ruined my chances at all by getting caught?"

Charlie sat back in her chair. "What chances?"

"Of getting you into bed."

"Ah, you see, there was never a chance of that."

Sands nodded. "So that's what this is about. You trying to convince yourself that you have no reason to be angry."

"I don't have any reason to be angry."

"If that were true, you would have sent me home last night."

"Or I was using you like you're trying to use me. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of ten years and I was lonely. If I had any investment, don't you think I would have gone further than just falling asleep with you? Maybe I don't care because I just don't care. You didn't lower your chances because you never had any, Sands."

"So you're a tease?"

Charlie smirked. "Just like you."

"I'm not a tease."

"Oh, really?"

"When have I ever acted like a tease?"

"You tease a relationship. You go on and on about how you like me strong and confident and how you wanted me to break up with my boyfriend for you. But we both know as soon as I sleep with you, it'll be another notch on your bedpost and you'll move on from me to the next target. Only today you proved you're not even going to wait until you get me into bed."

"I've never said a relationship would be happening."

"I never said sex would be happening but you still assumed."

"Because you've made out with me a fair few times. I've never asked you to talk about your feelings."

"If you didn't care about them, why did you come in here to explain yourself?"

"Because I thought I hurt my chances at sex with you."

"Well then, you should be glad to know you didn't. Now my work really does need to be done so if you'll excuse me."

Sands smirked and left the room though he had to admit, he was angry. He didn't know why but he was. Maybe it was because she really didn't seem to care? Wasn't this whole thing about getting her to care? It didn't work well for him if he cared about what she cared about and she didn't care about him at all.

_I need to get back control of this situation.

* * *

_

_I should have come home when Trevor offered.  
_

_Oh well, one more bad decision among my many._

Charlie got to her door but froze when she saw it was ajar. Someone opened her door?

_Shit. Shit. Shit._

Charlie went to reach into her bag to get her phone but jumped when the door opened and someone came out.

"I thought I heard you."

Charlie glared at Sands. "You bastard. Get the hell out of my apartment!"

Sands frowned. "You sound angry, Mac."

"Do I? I wonder why."

"Well, shouting in the hall is just undignified." He said, pulling her into her apartment and closing the door. "Now I'm sensing some hostility."

Sands definitely felt the hostility when she smacked him across the face.

"I am done with you. Get out of my home."

"I thought you weren't mad at me?"

"I'm not but..."

"Oh good cause I have a question." He said, turning and making his way to her bedroom.

"Sands, get out of my house! I do not want you...What the hell are you doing?" She asked when she walked into her bedroom after him.

"Finally found your underwear drawer." Sands said, holding a piece of lingerie. "What colour is this?"

Charlie walked over to him and snatched it out of his hands. "None of your business."

"Is it red? I bet its red."

"Get out of my room."

Sands grabbed the garment back. "I like the netting although it does have the disadvantage of seeing less skin seeing as the netting would cover you up and who would want that? Then again, I guess it's partially see through so that's fine and anyway, I'm blind so it doesn't really matter but it is the principle of the thing..."

Charlie grabbed it back, not believing that she was standing in her bedroom with a man who put more thought and evaluation into her underwear than he probably did anything else that week. "It doesn't matter because you're blind? It doesn't matter because I will never be wearing this for you."

"I never pegged you as the transparent lingerie type. Please tell me you wear this under your little office dresses? I mean, it's tight enough but then again, wearing something so revealing of your breasts probably wouldn't garner the attention you like."

Charlie glared at him. "You have no idea if it's too revealing."

"Well, feeling that against your actual breasts..."

"You've never felt my chest so stop acting like you have."

Sands smirked. "Are we forgetting Florida, Mac? You were pretty drunk so maybe. But even if you have, you've been pressed up against me enough times for me to know what's going on over there. Although, if you insist."

Charlie was shocked when he just casually copped a feel of her. "Sands!"

"Shh, I'm working...Yeah, I would assume based on my analysis here that your teddy is indeed too revealing. But then again, you might be wearing a padded bra so I'll need a closer inspection..."

Charlie shoved his hands away as he they travelled under her shirt before smirking at him. "Aw, I know it's been a while but I didn't know you'd be that rusty. It's a bustier, not a teddy. I thought being the ladies man you are, you'd know all about that. Oh well, now I feel bad so here," Charlie slapped it back into his palm. "Do what you like because that's the closest you're ever going to get to my underwear."

She walked out of the room and Sands put it down, walking after her. "You keep forgetting, Mac. I got very close to you in your underwear before. When you still had a boyfriend. Now you're single, that means I'm that much closer."

"I didn't break up with Barry so you could get me into bed."

"And yet I'm going to anyway. Will you wear that _bustier _when I do?"

Sands frowned when Charlie didn't answer. "Mac?"

She turned to him, all anger in her voice gone. "Are you staying again tonight?"

"What?"

"Like you did last night. Are you staying again tonight?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Sure."

Sands didn't know what she was playing at. Did she take some drugs? That's what it sounded like. "Fine, I'll stay."

"Okay. Good. I'm going to go take a shower, make yourself at home."

"Buster's in your spare room so I pretty much already have."

"Alright then."

Sands was very confused. "You alright, Mac? You sound a bit too...airy to be you."

"Fine. Absolutely fine."

Charlie smirked seeing as he couldn't see her. She had just had an epiphany. A wonderful little thought on how to beat him at his own game. She was going to get control tonight.

_And break this uncaring selfish bastard act once and for all.

* * *

_

"How's Buster?"

"Fine." Sands said as he got into the bed where Charlie was reading. He felt he should check for mouse traps or something. Her amicable demeanour was really unnerving him but he was determined to play this out and see what she was up to. "So, are we just sleeping again or...?"

"Depends."

Sands frowned. "It depends?"

"On the circumstances."

"I told you the circumstances already. One night, relieve this sexual tension, I get what I want, you get what you secretly want but won't admit to and everyone is happy. Those have been the circumstances since day one, Mac."

Sands was surprised when Charlie straddled him and leant down to bring her lips closer to his. "So I have sex with you for just one night and then you're done harassing me? No more feeling me up, no more trying to seduce me, no more lewd jokes or double entendres? I just give you what you want and then tomorrow, we go back to just being doctor and patient? Purely professional with no thoughts of trying to get me into bed?"

Sands raised an eyebrow but quickly smirked. "You're bluffing."

Charlie closed what tiny space was between their lips by kissing him passionately and Sands ran his hands along her back so he could get to the good stuff. He felt the fabric against her skin.

_Oh my God, she's actually wearing it._

_This night is just turning into all kinds of super._

Charlie parted the kiss with a smirk.

"Am I?"

"Are you what?" Sands asked, his attention on feeling her up.

"Bluffing? I mean, it would be easier for me to just give you what you want and then get on with my life without having to deal with your come ons anymore. After all, I probably wouldn't even see you that much once you got what you wanted so my life would go back to normal. So, that's the deal, I sleep with you right now and afterwards, you treat me like I was just another person working at the CIA."

Sands propped himself up on his elbows. "You're serious?"

"I'm not on top of you to be a comedian."

"You're seriously willing to have sex with me just so I'll leave you alone? You?"

"Isn't this what you wanted? To get me into bed? Here I am. In bed. With you."

"What about what you want?"

"Do you care?"

"I'm curious." Sands said, her new way of thinking surprising him. And he wasn't someone who got surprised often.

"Are you asking me if I've thought about this? Of course. Am I doing this to enjoy myself? Well, I'm doing this to make my job easier so you can take from that what you want."

"Doesn't sound like you want to."

"I'm willing to. That's all you need."

"But not exactly what I want." He said.

"Considering what's pressing against me, I'd say that's not true."

Sands chuckled but Charlie smirked when it sounded a little uncertain. "Yeah, well...When we do end up doing the deed, I want it to be because you just couldn't resist anymore, not to just get it over with. I want you screaming my name, sugar, not thinking about work. If I wanted that, I'd go out, get a hooker, stick some glasses on her and tell her to let me call her 'Doctor.'"

"But at the end of the day, you're getting the same thing from me so what's the problem?"

The problem for Sands was doing it this way was giving her control of the situation and using him and he wasn't sure if he wanted to let that happen.

_And there's the part where you leave her alone. That's not really what you were imagining would happen when she couldn't resist anymore. _

"I'm guessing by your silence, there isn't any problem." Charlie shrugged before reaching down to kiss his neck.

Sands had to admit, he was enjoying it but he was still thinking.

_You're not going to leave her alone. Not a chance. Things have gone too far now._

_So if this happens and then you keep around her like you do, it'll seem like you couldn't get enough of her._

_I probably won't. For example, what she's doing right now sure ain't half bad._

_But when the sex is over, it's supposed to be them chasing you, not the other way around. You can't lose control. It'll just be pathetic begging and she'll have won._

_No, if this happens, it has to happen because she needed it to happen, she wanted it._

_That way, you wanting it isn't bad because she wants it more and you're the one pulling the strings._

Sands pushed her over to lie on the other side of the bed. "Nope. Not happening."

Charlie smirked at her plan working. "Why not?"

"Because I said I wanted you to act confident, not like a whore." Sands said, getting up. "If I wanted one of those, I could go to any bar and pick one up and she'd probably nag me less."

He walked out of the room and Charlie grabbed her robe, putting it on before following him out.

"Why can't you just admit that it's not just about the sex?" She asked angrily. "Why is it so hard to admit that maybe you want more?"

"Because I don't." Sands said, sitting down on the couch.

"Then why didn't you just take me up on my offer?"

"Seduction is a tricky game, sugar. But the outcome the seducer wants isn't usually 'do what you want then get off me'. That's not seduction, that's submission. Big difference."

"Oh, is there?"

"Yes. It wouldn't feel right if you were just doing it to get it over with."

"So you do care about what I feel?"

"When we're in bed together? Of course." Sands got up and followed her voice to stand close to her. "I want you to love it so much; you won't want me to leave your bed, let alone your life." He said, stroking his finger from her shoulder to her waist.

Charlie refused to let his low tones or touching get to her. "I never said I wanted you out of my life. I said I wanted you to stop trying to get me into bed."

"I want you to thank me for getting you into bed." Sands said, his hand going to the ties on her robe but not opening them.

"Would it really hurt your ego to admit that the reason you just turned me down was because you don't just want a one night stand with me? That the thought of just having sex and then being done with me isn't what you're looking for?"

Sands frowned. "You were playing me."

"What?"

"You were never going to have sex with me tonight. You just wanted to get me to make some grand declaration about how I actually want you as a person, not just another conquest."

Charlie looked up at him. "Why is that bad?"

"It's not who I am."

Charlie nodded. "Then you'll never get anything from me." She took his hands off her and walked back into her room, shutting the door and locking it.

Sands stayed where he was.

_That's not who I am._

_But it is what I want.

* * *

_

**She played him like a drum but I think he respected it more than he hated it! =P**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	14. Through The Door

**Here's Chapter 14!**

"So, are you ever going to come out of there?"

"Are you ever going to leave my apartment?"

"I don't know. Buster seems to quite like it here."

"I never said he had to leave."

"You never technically said I had to either." Sands pointed out from where he sat on the floor, his back against her bedroom door. Buster was sitting next to him as Sands scratched his ear. "Mac?"

"Why did you turn me down?"

"I told you, I want you to want it."

"But you've always made it clear that it's only for one night and then I said okay, one night it is and you wouldn't. Why?"

Sands huffed. "You weren't acting like yourself."

"You didn't realise I was playing you."

"You still weren't acting like the woman I know. She's the one I want to have sex with."

"I was acting the most confident I ever have tonight. I never, ever in my life acted like that."

"Exactly." Sands leant his head back and banged it against the door, getting frustrated over having to make this point over and over again. "It wasn't you."

"But it was confident."

Sands frowned. "He really messed you up, didn't he?"

"Excuse me?"

"Your ex. Any time he noticed you getting a little too confident; he must have just mentally smacked you down just so he could keep you. Mac, you can be a strong, confident woman at home and still be you, you know. You don't have to put up the whore act to get a man to admit he likes you. I know he made you a bit of an insecure mess but come on; don't you watch Sex and the City or some crap like that that condones woman power and the thinking that all men are bastards?"

"I bet you've seen every episode."

"Moving on," He said quickly. "What I saw...or experienced tonight was not you and so I was not interested."

There was a few seconds of silence before Charlie spoke again. "You do realise when you talk like that, it just makes it seem like you do care about me?"

"That's not caring, it's charity. If you stop being such a mess, your life will stop being such a mess."

"Seriously, get out of my house."

"Because you disagree?"

Charlie sighed. "No. But if I am such a mess..."

"You're not a mess; you've just been trained to believe you are by an inferior man in your life. To be honest, you shouldn't want me to care. You'd probably be better off single for a while."

"Then why don't you leave me alone?"

"Because what's better for you isn't what works for me and I only care about myself."

"So you've made clear."

"I'm just trying to be honest."

_Yeah, right._

"The question I'm wondering about," Sands continued. "Is why you indulge me? If you're so against the way I want things, why not report me to Trevor? You know if you tell him I'm being unreasonable, he'll cancel our rehab and keep me away from you until I'm unconscious the day of the surgery."

"If I tell him, I might not get the surgery."

"You know you will. So why put up with me? Is it because you secretly enjoy my sexual harassment?"

"Love it." She said sarcastically.

"I knew you did."

"Sands..."

"I just don't get how you find me deplorable for trying to go against CIA rules when it's a rule everyone goes against."

Charlie stayed silent for a few seconds. "I don't find you deplorable."

"You seem to. You told me multiple times today that you don't give a fuck about anything I do."

Charlie sighed. "What did you expect me to say?"

Sands frowned. "So you do care?"

"I did."

"You did?"

"Until you ran out of here with your tail between your legs and then went to town with Gina Waitrose on a desk because you got scared."

"I was not scared."

"Whatever."

"I do not get scared! Unless someone is about to take out my eyes..."

Charlie sighed. "I couldn't even begin to imagine."

"Don't try. It's wholly unpleasant. Back to what we were talking about."

"What was it again?"

"You caring about me."

"Past tense."

"I don't think so."

"You don't?"

"No. You knew the man I was last night and I haven't changed in the past twenty four hours."

Charlie sighed. "If it were under different circumstances..."

"Like if you weren't my doctor?"

"And you weren't a complete asshole and actually wanted a relationship with me and wanted me for more than just sex because you cared about me, then you'd be in luck."

"I would?"

"Yeah, you would."

"Why? Being an uncaring asshole is pretty much who I am. Take that away and you have...a Seeing Eye dog and a great sense of style."

He heard Charlie laugh from the other side of the door. "Well there you go, you make me laugh. Not a lot of people do that or rather, bother to try."

"Benny wasn't a comedian then?"

"Barry and no. You say you'd throw Buster in front a speeding truck but I see you with him, you love him really."

Sands continued his scratching of Buster's ear as the dog let out content little growls. "We've come to accept each other, yes."

"I caught you listening to the Wicked soundtrack..."

"Caught? I dare you to find me a better range of emotion than show tunes."

"You care about emotions in songs."

"It's the only time I experience any."

"You don't know what I do to you."

Sands froze. "You were drunk. You don't remember that night."

"It came back to me later that day. It's why I admitted that I actually wanted this. I remember you saying that to me. You weren't acting cocky that night..."

"Depends on how you use that word..."

"You weren't being a bastard." Charlie continued, ignoring him. "You thought I wouldn't remember a thing so you were being honest, just like I was. You were jealous of Barry and you didn't hide it. You told me you thought about me and you didn't think you shouldn't."

"Charlie, what are you saying?"

"Sands, you may act like you don't give a rat's ass about anybody but I can't believe that."

"You need to. Believe me; it'll be easier for you in the long run."

"I've never been afraid of the difficult things." She said. "As I've demonstrated better than ever since I met you."

"You actually care about me?"

"You may find that extremely hard to believe but you would not have gotten into my bed the other night if I didn't." She waited for a reply. "Have you stormed out again?"

"No."

"Are you going to stop trying to get me into bed?"

"No."

"Does what I just told you make you feel panicked again?"

"A little."

"Why is that?"

"It's not what I was expecting."

"Wasn't that your plan all along? To get me to care about you?"

"Yeah but now it complicates things."

"How?"

"You're going to end up getting hurt."

"If you don't care about me, that shouldn't matter."

Sands hesitated.

_Think of something to say quickly._

"A hurt doctor and co-worker is a dangerous thing to have."

"Then why don't you stop?"

Sands thought about it. "I don't know."

Sands and Charlie stayed silent for a while.

"So, what's the deal with you and Trevor?"

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You know, this buddy thing you two got going on. He acts like your father at times which makes it kinda difficult to make it obvious what I'm up to."

"Poor you." He heard her say sarcastically.

"No, seriously, what's going on there?"

"Nothing. We get along."

"You get along? You can't stand me and guess what, Mac. I'm not unlike Mr. Hartford by any means. He'll seduce any living breathing woman under thirty and he's married."

"Yeah but he can get away with it. He's the boss and he's got that whole silver fox, 'Mad Men' thing going for him."

"Mad Men?"

"Doesn't matter. Watch more television!"

"I can't! I have no eyes!"

"Sorry!"

"Are you shouting at me for being blind?"

"No. Anyway, when Trevor does things like that, it's because he has the power to."

Sands frowned but then if he had proper eyes, they would have widened. "Oh my God, do you want Trevor?"

"No!"

"You do! You completely do!"

"No, I don't! He's my boss!"

"That makes it even more plausible! That is such a kick in the..."

"Sands, I do not want Trevor."

"But you did? When you first started working at the CIA, I bet you did."

Charlie didn't answer.

"Mac?"

"Maybe..."

"I knew it!"

"Let it go, Sands."

"He's married, you know!"

"I know that. Let it go."

"Not that that's ever stopped him. And you'd probably be his type since his type is a wide variety..."

"Sands, shut up!"

Sands frowned at her tone before he grew shocked. "Oh my God, you and Trevor...?"

"Me and Trevor, nothing."

"He tried it with you! That's why he's trying to keep me away from you! He doesn't want me seducing what he couldn't."

"Who said he couldn't?"

Sands' smirk dropped. "Mac..."

"Would I be off your radar if I had gotten seduced by him?"

"No but I'd be pissed off you're making me work so hard when you've already broken the rules and your fidelity."

Charlie sighed. "Nothing happened between me and Trevor."

"But you wanted him and he wanted you?"

"I wasn't willing to risk my job on it."

"He's your boss."

"He's not my only one and besides, I'm not that person. I got that job on my merit and I keep it on my own merit, not because I'm screwing my boss."

"What about Billy? He didn't factor in?"

"Of course he did."

"Just not a major factor?"

"He was more of a factor then than he is now."

"You're not with him now."

"Exactly."

Sands shook his head. "So, you and Trevor..."

"No, not me and Trevor. Why are you focusing on me and Trevor?"

Sands frowned.

_I don't know._

_Yes you do. It's jealousy._

_No, it's not. Shut up._

"I just think it's interesting. You go for older men."

"I do not go for older men."

"You go for powerful men?"

"Why is it always about me? What about you?"

"Oh, well I do go for powerful men."

"Sands, be serious. What type of women do you go for? I know confidence is one thing you like, what else?"

"Trying to be my dream woman, sugar?"

"Trying to get to know the man who's slept in my bed. I doubt you'd answer me if I asked about your life outside of the CIA, family and your past and such so here we are, women. What kind do you like?"

Sands shrugged despite the fact she couldn't see it but hey, neither could he. "It could be a number of different things."

"Describe the last one. Woman, I mean."

"The bitch ripped my eyes out. She's not who you want to model yourself after."

"I don't want to model myself after anyone. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you. Maybe the first one we've ever had."

"Serious? Sugar, there's a door separating us."

"That's how it stays a conversation and not a make out session."

"So you're admitting you couldn't resist me?"

"What did you like about her?"

Sands huffed. "I don't know. She was incredibly sexy and Mexican and she seemed quite tough."

"Tough?"

"You know, she could handle herself. She was a hardass."

"Oh."

"I don't know if she would have gone as far as kneeing a blind man in the groin for no reason..."

"In my defence..."

"Or smacking a blind man across the face for no reason."

"No reason? You..."

"Or manipulating a blind man into thinking he might get some sex and then taking away that comforting thought."

"Well, she sounds like a regular day saint."

"Not really. Hopefully she's burning in hell or else shooting her wasn't worth it. Oh, who am I kidding? It totally was."

"Whoa, remind me to never piss you off."

"As if you haven't multiple times already."

"I suppose I'm lucky I only got a few stitches ripped."

Sands frowned. He had forgotten he'd done that. "How's the arm?"

"Fine." She said, a little surprised he was enquiring. "I wasn't saying that to make you feel bad."

"You didn't."

"Good. That's why I said it. I knew it wouldn't."

"I don't get how I could have done that though and you can still treat me like I never did."

"I told you, I don't expect you to change because of me."

"That doesn't mean you have to accept it. You could still be pissed."

"I was pissed. But then you stayed the night."

"So?"

"Maybe you didn't do it for this reason but I thought maybe you stayed to make sure I was okay. Now, I know a little better."

"Now? It was last night, Mac."

"A lot can happen in twenty four hours."

"Like?"

"Like you running away, Waitrose, not caring, the whole episode on my bed. Little things like that." She said sarcastically. "Can I ask you something?"

"You're going to anyway."

"Why did you run away this morning?"

Sands tried to think of an answer. "Because of what you said."

"About caring?"

"Yeah."

"But why would that make you run?"

"Look Mac, this may come a huge shock to you but I don't care about a lot of people."

"Shocking."

"And they don't care about me. That's the way it is. I can't be a lone ranger if there's someone out there who gives a damn."

"Lone ranger?"

"I watched television. Just old television. Anyway, I' m not used to people doing what you did."

"Saying they care?"

"Yeah, that. I've detached myself enough that people can't care and I can't care. If that element is being reintroduced to my life, it's going to make things a lot harder."

"But like you said, just because I care about you doesn't mean you care about me. Isn't that what you wanted? Me to care about you? You seem to be under the impression that I'll get you eyes a lot quicker that way."

"How do you...?"

"I'm not an idiot, Sands. I know what you've been up to."

"Then why let me do it?"

"Because I don't think that's what you're up to anymore. I think you lost that goal a long the way and now you're just trying to get me either because you want me or because you want to prove to yourself that you can. Am I wrong?"

Sands stayed silent for a while.

"Sands?"

"I need to go."

Charlie frowned. "Where do you need to go? It's the middle of the night."

Sands stood up. "I don't need to be anywhere. I just need to...not be here."

Sands heard her open the door.

Charlie looked at him. "Why can't you be here?"

"You're going to make me do something I'll regret." Sands said, going to the door. "Something I haven't done in a very long time."

"What's that?"

Sands turned back to her before he opened the door to leave. "Tell the truth."

Sands left her apartment and Charlie leant her head against the doorframe of her bedroom, closing her eyes.

"I am in so much trouble."

* * *

Sands walked along the empty streets, trying to get his mind off of Charlie. He needed to get away from this whole situation. He had tried to manipulate it to his favour and it wasn't working. He didn't know why, he couldn't understand it at all. Why her? Out of all the women he could seduce, all the women who'd be much more convenient, why did it have to happen with her?

Sands was taken by surprise to say the least when he was grabbed roughly and pushed down an alley and up against a wall.

"Well, well, well Senõr Sands. You would think your present circumstance would make you think twice before walking around in the middle of the night alone."

Sands heard the whimpering of Buster which meant the dog didn't run which Sands had to admire. Buster was braver than him.

"I would think with your comrades getting caught by the CIA, you wouldn't be in any rush to make yourself known. How did you elude them?"

"I was not stupid enough to sneak in and try to rile your little bitch."

"We call them doctors in this country actually."

"Well, you better pray for a lot of them in your future."

Sands frowned and then heard the cock of a gun.

"Shit."

* * *

**Trouble all around! **

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	15. First Aid

**To peaches: Thank you!**

**Here's Chapter 15!  
**

Charlie put on her robe quickly, turning on the lights to her apartment when she was awoken by noise at her door. She realised it was a dog barking. She walked out of her bedroom and heard a faint knocking accompanying the whimpers of the dog. She rushed over to the door and looked through the key hole before sighing and opening the door.

"Sands, what are you doing here? It's four o clock in the mor..." Charlie stopped when she realised Sands was leaning against her door frame because he had to. She pulled his coat away from his abdomen and her eyes widened when she saw all the blood. "Oh my God."

She let Sands lean on her and brought him into the apartment, laying him on her couch before rushing to get supplies. Buster wouldn't budge from his side.

"Sands, what happened?"

"Got into a bit of trouble." Sands said.

"I can see that." Charlie said, going to sit on the side of the couch. "How?"

"I'll explain later. Right now, if you could take the bullet out, I'd really appreciate it."

"Why didn't you go to a hospital?" Charlie asked as she removed his shirt.

"Hospitals, as you know, ask questions. And when it's more than just a few ripped stitches, like a gunshot wound, they happen to have a few more questions."

"So do I."

"I wouldn't expect anything less...annoying. But first, gah!" He said, in response to her pouring whiskey into the wound.

"Sorry, had to be done."

"I'm fine. Just keep going."

"Okay."

Sands felt as she placed a finger in the wound.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure I know where not to go in case of veins."

"Oh."

"Take this." Charlie said, handing him the whiskey. "You'll need it."

Sands took it and began drinking it back heavily. If he could pass out before the next part, he'd be very happy.

But as it turned out, no such luck.

Charlie took her finger out and Sands felt something else take its place.

"Jesus..."

"Don't be such a baby."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like to swap positions?"

"I would have gone to a hospital."

"Another reason I'm convinced this genius talk is all lies. God Damnit!"

"Got the bullet."

"So I felt."

Charlie began stitching up the wound. "So are you going to tell me how this happened?"

"Nope."

"Sands."

"Got any more of this?" Sands asked, holding up the now empty bottle.

"Sands, that was nearly full!"

"Eh, Charlie? I just got shot. I'm in a lot of pain so I would very much like to pass out. Hey, you're a doctor. Got any painkillers?"

"Not after that much alcohol." Charlie said.

Sands sighed. "Why did I come to someone sensible?"

"Because who else were you going to go to that would actually want to help you?"

"Ouch. And good point."

Charlie sighed. "Come on, I better get you onto a bed."

"Jesus sugar, the one time I'm out of action and you're ready to go."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "No, Sands. The spare bed. You're not getting anywhere near mine."

"Not even when near death?"

"Especially not when near death. I don't want you bleeding on my sheets."

Sands chuckled. "Your bedside manner has improved." He heard Charlie sigh. "What?"

"I don't think I can move you safely." She said. "I think you'll just have to stay on my couch."

"You won't mind blood here?"

Charlie sat down. "What happened?"

"Tripped and fell on a bullet."

"Sands, you need to tell me."

"No, I don't."

"I need you to tell me."

"Why?"

"Why?" Charlie repeated exasperatedly. "You left my apartment and came back with a gunshot wound! How did that happen? Do you know who did it?"

"Not exactly."

Charlie frowned. "Sands?"

"The Mexican accent gave him away but I'll be damned if I recognise his voice."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Mexican? They caught those guys."

"Not all of them apparently which makes me think these guys are henchman. They're working for a higher power who can replace them. That's very bad."

Charlie stood up. "Oh my God. And one shot you! There are bad guys still out there and this one proved he's actually willing to kill."

"Not anymore."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"I think I've proved, even when blind, that if you shoot me, I will shoot you back."

"You shot him?"

"I don't know if I killed him but it gave me enough time to get away before he successfully killed me."

"How did you even...?"

"You can thank the dog. Turns out he is quite handy. The guy shot me, Buster bit the fucker which made him let me go so I could get my own gun."

"You still carry your gun?"

"Always."

Charlie put a hand over her face. "This is unbelievable."

"This is why I said you didn't need to know." Sands said before groaning in pain.

Charlie looked at him and sat back down. "Okay, I'm sorry. You should rest."

Sands smirked. "I've been shot before, sugar. Multiple times."

"Which is why you didn't need to go and get shot again."

Sands frowned. "Are you worried?"

Charlie looked at him. "I've told you everything, Sands. The ball's in your court. If you have nothing to say, I'm done discussing it."

"That didn't answer my question."

Charlie huffed. "Yes, I'm worried. You're someone's target, not to mention so am I. And you just got shot. They could have killed you so easily. This was just a warning and he's already eluded the CIA which is unnerving enough. What if he finds you again and wants to leave more than just a warning? And he knows where I live because he knew where to wait for you. So yes, I'm very worried." She sighed, waiting for Sands to reply. When he didn't, she frowned. "Sands?"

Still no reply.

Charlie realised he passed out. She got up and was about to return to her room but stopped before turning back and returning to her arm chair. She curled up in it so she could keep an eye on him. Buster walked over to her, sitting in between her chair and Sands on the couch. Charlie sighed as she began to rub his fur.

She didn't sleep at all that night.

Little did she know, neither did Sands.

* * *

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm just not feeling well after yesterday." Charlie lied to Trevor over the phone the next morning. "I think the stress is after getting to me."

"You know what I'm going to say..."

"I'm not going to give up on the case. And seeing as I'm not then Sands is still my only patient then it won't be too much bother if I take a day off."

"You know, we're the CIA. You can't just take days off."

"It's not a day off." Charlie said. "It's working from home today. No one will notice if I'm not there."

Trevor huffed. "I suppose I can let it go this one time seeing as your patient hasn't turned up."

Charlie looked at Sands still passed out on her couch. "Really? Where is he?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Well, if you hear from him, let me know." Charlie said. "Especially with those guys threatening to kill everyone."

"We caught those guys, Charlie. It's safe."

"Have you found out who they're working for?"

Trevor was silent for a second. "We'll get it out of them eventually."

"Well if you don't know who they're working for, you don't know how many men this person has. There could have been more." She prompted.

"If there were more, we would have caught them."

"The homeless guy who robbed me in the first place?" Charlie asked. "He was obviously working with them."

"We're working on it."

"Fantastic." Charlie bit her lip. "Hey, when you found my I.D., you didn't find a diamond bracelet too, did you?"

"No, should we have been looking for one?"

"I just...It doesn't matter." Charlie said, realising it was probably gone forever. "Sentimental value."

"Well, we didn't find anything like that." Trevor said. "Sorry, Charlie."

"It's okay. Really. I'll talk to you later."

"Bye."

Charlie hung up her phone.

"How's the lover?"

Charlie looked at Sands. "How long have you been awake?"

"Long enough to realise you still get anything out of Trevor that you want to which means he's probably not done with coming onto you."

"I knew last night was a mistake." Charlie grimaced, regretting letting Sands know anything.

"It wasn't my favourite either, sugar."

She walked over and sat down by him. "How are you?"

"Feel like I was shot last night."

"I wish you'd let me take you to a hospital."

"No." Sands said, shaking his head.

"The CIA one even!"

"No." Sands said firmly. "I don't know if I killed that guy so I'm not risking anything."

"Just internal bleeding, excessive blood loss and infection."

Sands huffed. "Fine, let's go to the hospital. Let's go and tell everyone that the reason you're bringing me there is because I spent the night here."

Charlie looked at him tiredly. "You came here for me to fix you up. It's not implausible in a professional setting."

"And then," Sands continued sarcastically. "We'll find out I didn't actually kill that guy and he'll tell everyone that I was leaving your place. What do we say then, hmmm?"

"And if you did kill him?"

"I killed him by your place. At least if he gets found dead by police then it could have been anything, drug deal in an alley gone wrong or he was the victim of a robbery gone wrong. The CIA never gets involved. If they found out I did it, we're both involved. If the guy survives then the CIA never knows about him and he can't say anything to anyone. The CIA just can't know I got shot. This guy knew I was here so he knows that we're not purely professional. That means the guys that were caught might know the same thing. At least if they say anything, we can come up with a story to deny it. But me getting shot by another guy not far from where you live? That'd be impossible to talk ourselves out of."

"So you're risking your life with these people to keep our secret?" Charlie asked. "Sands, this is getting out of hand. We didn't even do anything."

"We almost did a lot of times. That's close enough. It's gone too far but there's no going back now."

Charlie looked at him. "There was last night. You left. So there is going back."

"But there wasn't for you last night."

"Jesus Sands, I said I care. I didn't say I love you. Believe me, I'll get over it. What I won't get over is having to explain to the CIA the reason one of their agents died on my couch because he didn't go to a hospital."

"You're one of the best doctors in the country, that's why the CIA wanted you. I couldn't be in better hands."

"And what about when you inevitably get a call from Trevor asking where you are?"

"I'll lie and say it wasn't worth my while going in there seeing as I'm blind and useless."

"It just happens to be the same time I don't go into work? How is that not suspicious? At least if you go to a hospital, I can work to help you there and the CIA will know about that guy."

"The reason I'm here is because I don't want the CIA to know about that guy!"

"Which is ridiculous!"

"Yeah well a lot of aspects of my life usually are. Like some of the women I go after apparently."

"If you weren't already injured, I would smack you." Charlie said through gritted teeth.

"Mac, if you don't want me here, I can leave."

Charlie huffed. "No, you can't and I never said that. I just think-"

"Well, don't. The bullet didn't hit anything serious or else you'd be panicking a lot more and this isn't my first home stitch up. I just need time to heal. Now, how about breakfast? I would love some pancakes. Thanks, sugar." He said, putting his arm behind his head lazily.

Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Well, you better get up and make them yourself because I sure as hell can't."

Sands frowned at her. "You can't cook?"

"I burn toast."

"How do you even live?"

Charlie frowned. "Can you cook?"

"Not one bit."

"Then what the hell are you talking about with me?"

"Well...You're a woman."

Sands was taken by surprise when he felt a smack to the back of the head before hearing Charlie storm into her room.

"Ow!"

* * *

**Hmmm, it seems that Sands and Charlie are stuck together in her apartment for a few days. I wonder what will come of that. =P I'm still trying to decide if this story's rating will change. What do you all think?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	16. The Truth

**Here's Chapter 16!**

"Is he dead?"

Silence filled the room.

"Well?"

"We don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know? Either he is dead or he is alive. Which is it?"

"What we do know is that Raul is dead. As for Sands, we could not find a body. That means he killed Raul and either dragged himself off to die elsewhere or got help."

"I know what that means! You listen to me you imbeciles, I want revenge. Find Sheldon Sands and kill him! If someone gets in the way, kill them. If one of you screws up, kill each other! I don't care! Just kill Sheldon Sands!"

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit. And starving."

Sands felt Charlie take his hand as she made him hold the phone. "Order something then."

Sands smirked sarcastically. "Oh no, don't worry about me. I'm only a blind man who got shot last night, I don't need any sympathy."

"Every time I try to give you sympathy, you have a panic attack."

"I do not get panic attacks. I get running spells." Sands felt her pull back his already unbuttoned shirt. "Yeah, fuck sympathy. I prefer undressing anyway."

"I'm changing your bandages." Charlie clarified. "If you refuse to go to a hospital, I need to be extra vigilant in case of infection."

Sands felt her hands gently remove his bandages, surprised that she wasn't ripping them off him painfully like she probably deserved to. He felt her clean around the wound, not minding the sensation at all.

"Are you not hungry anymore?" He heard her ask.

"Very."

"Then you should probably call someone about that."

Sands hadn't been talking about food and he usually would have let her know this but something made him hold back. He was trying not to come to the conclusion that it was the feelings he couldn't admit to having for her that made him keep his mouth shut. He simply focused on where the buttons were and dialled a number he knew off by heart. He was in the middle of ordering when another call came in on the phone. He still felt Charlie changing his bandages.

"Mac?"

"Hmmm?"

_Any CIA people would call her on her cell phone._

_It's her ex._

"Do you want to order something?" Sands asked, thinking of something else to say.

"No thanks, I'm fine."

Sands nodded and went back to the call, ignoring the interruption l that kept coming in.

_No way is that asshole coming back into her life.

* * *

_

"You could probably do this on your own, you know."

"But then you would miss all this fun." Sands said sarcastically. "I tried getting up on my own. Not so easy."

Charlie helped him onto the bed in her spare room before sitting on the side. "Want me to get Buster?"

"He's a dog, Mac, not a teddy bear."

"You seem like the type who'd have a teddy bear."

"Randy and I are just friends."

Charlie smiled. "Rest."

"No bedtime story?"

"I don't want to get you too excited."

"Believe me, you do that already."

"Thank you...I think. But you can get that strenuous activity out of your mind if you can't even walk to a bed by yourself."

"You could be on top."

"Charming as always."

_Why do you actually sort of mean that?_

_Just because it's tawdry doesn't mean it's not funny._

_I'm so pathetic._

Charlie decided to fight fire with fire. "In your condition? You couldn't handle it."

Sands smirked. "Listen sugar, if I could walk around on my own, I'd be carrying you onto a bed, not the other way around."

"Not going home?"

"Do you treat all your patients this way?"

"Only the ones that annoy me."

The two were interrupted when Charlie's phone rang. She went to get up but Sands, knowing who would be on the other line, grabbed her arm, being careful not to get her still bandaged wrist.

"That's not what you said last night." He said, immediately regretting it. Last night had unnerved the shit out of him, he didn't want to go further into detail but talking about something that serious would make her stay.

Charlie looked back at him. "Every time we talk about that, you run off. Why do you want to indulge all of a sudden?"

Sands shrugged. "You don't want to talk about what's going on then fine. You better go answer your phone."

Charlie got up and was leaving the room when Sands heard her stop. He tried not to smirk as she walked back and sat on the bed.

"What is there to say? You ran out of here because you didn't want to tell me the truth."

"And you think the truth is I care about you?"

"I've learned never to guess with you. You'll always surprise me."

Sands smirked. "Is that a good thing?"

"Some of the time. I was with the same man for ten years, he didn't surprise me anymore."

Sands was quite happy to realise the phone had stopped ringing, although it was clear that Barry would keep trying to contact her and Sands wouldn't always be able to stop her. "What would you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"If I told you I cared about you."

"Do you?"

"That's not the issue. The issue is your reaction to such a statement."

"I don't know how I'd react. All I know is that I respect myself a little more than to be a one night stand for a work colleague."

"But if a relationship was on the table?"

"It never will be."

_"But you only want sex from me."_

_"We'll see."_

Charlie frowned.

_Why did he say that? _She thought to herself, remembering that incident in the hotel room. She shook her head quickly.

_No, don't start thinking he could ever want to be with you. You'll only get hurt._

Sands was surprised when he felt Charlie's lips press against his in a slow, soft kiss.

"I know how I feel, I'll never know how you feel or even if you feel," She chuckled before turning serious. "But I do know that I won't let myself get walked all over again. I'm better than that." Charlie got up to leave the room, turning back to him about the door. "You taught me that yourself."

She left the room and Sands huffed.

_All I have to do is admit that I care about her._

_But I don't._

_Keep telling yourself that._

_I will._

Sands pondered this thought.

_I'm a complete failure since I left Mexico._

_At least I kept her away from the phone...

* * *

_

"Any news?"

"Nothing. Sorry."

Charlie sighed. "No new arrests or anything?"

Trevor frowned. "You still think there are more out there? How do you know these guys aren't just Barillo's leftover henchmen, looking to finish off Sands once and for all?"

"I'm thinking about the homeless guy who robbed me."

_And the dead man lying in an alley with Sands' blood on his hands._

"We're keeping a lookout. Any news and I'll call you."

"Maybe you should check in with the regular police." Charlie said, trying to sound casual. "Maybe they know of something."

"Believe it or not Charlie, we do that. If the guy you described turns up, we'll know about it."

Charlie closed her eyes in frustration. "But you're checking about more than just the guy who robbed me, right? Anything suspicious is flying under your radar?"

"Charlie, this is a big city. Crime happens. We can't take notice of every robbery, even if it ends with someone dead. That's what the police are for."

"But..."

"I will call you if I find anything."

Charlie sighed and hung up her phone. Well, at least they hadn't found the shooter alive and he'd spilled what he knew about her and Sands. But the fact that they didn't even know to look for him was a slight problem. That meant he could still be out there. Or else the police found him dead and the CIA took no notice so they didn't know that there were more people to find out there. Either way, Charlie's qualms weren't eased.

"Was your snooping successful?"

Charlie turned to see Sands leaning against the doorway of the spare room.

"I thought you couldn't get around by yourself?"

"I made an extra special effort."

"To eavesdrop on my conversation?"

Sands lifted himself from the doorway and made his way over to where her voice was coming from. She had to hold his arms to help him keep his balance when he was about to walk past her which she couldn't help but smile a little at. A little vulnerability from Sands was not something easily shown.

Sands finally found his footing in front of her. "Actually, I had another conversation in mind."

"Sands, I told you..."

"I know what you told me." Sands said before kissing her passionately. Charlie was careful not to press against his wound but otherwise she couldn't help but respond. Sands parted the kiss after a while. "Now there's something I have to tell you."

"What's that?"

"The truth."

Charlie's breath left her. "Which is?"

Sands was about to speak when a loud bang caused him to quickly push them both out of the way. Charlie looked up quickly to see the holes hitting her wall due the gunfire meant to hit her and Sands. The shooting eventually stopped as the apartment became flooded with the assailants. Sands and Charlie felt themselves get picked up and Charlie looked to see henchmen very much like the ones that attacked her and probably, the one who attacked Sands.

One of them spoke up, walking over to Sands. "Sheldon Sands."

"Sheldon Jeffrey Sands, actually." Sands pointed out.

"CIA agent." The man mocked. "You should have seen that coming." He chuckled and the rest joined in. He wrapped his arm around Sands shoulders. "Tell me something."

"Okay..."

"Are you ready to return to Mexico?"

* * *

**I'm sorry for making everyone wait so long for this update. My memory stick which held everything I've ever written broke and I lost two years worth of documents. :( I'll try and get back on track as soon as possible!  
**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	17. Told You So

**To peaches: Thank you!**

**Here's Chapter 17!**

"It was awful, absolutely awful! I was getting ready for bed when I heard all these explosions. I thought the building would fall down around me!"

Trevor nodded at the hysterical neighbour. "Right. Did you see anything or anyone?"

"No, I was too afraid to come out of my apartment but..."

Trevor walked away from her without a word.

"Got anything?" He asked, coming up to another agent.

"Everyone woke up, no one would come outside until they were sure it was safe." Riley replied. "She's not in any of the surrounding areas."

Trevor huffed.

_I'll kill Sands!_

This reminded him. "Any luck getting through to Sands?"

"His phone is turned off. Not answering his house phone. I sent Thompson over."

Trevor nodded. "I'm going to ask around some more. Keep an eye on things here."

Trevor left Charlie's shattered apartment and went into the hallway. He walked down the hall, planning on going to get Sands himself. Sands hated Thompson just like he hated everyone else. The only person he'd let in would probably be Trevor.

_Or Charlie._

_Something's not right there._

"Are you a police man?"

Trevor turned back to see a door open and a small child of about six or seven wearing her pyjamas, looking up at him.

"Yes, sweetie, I am. Don't worry, everything is okay now."

"No, you see, those people left their doggie."

Trevor frowned. "What?"

"Look." The child ran inside to her apartment and Trevor followed her in. Sitting in the apartment was a familiar face. Buster. The child turned back to Trevor. "My babysitter is talking to more of those police men and she left the door open and he came inside. I think he's acting like my new babysitter but my mom won't let me have a dog so you better take him back and give him to Doctor Macintosh and her friend with the sunglasses."

Trevor crouched down to the girl. "What do you know about her friend with the sunglasses?"

"He was in the elevator with me and my daddy one day and he was asking to press the button to Doctor Macintosh's floor which is also our one. My daddy told him she wasn't home because she was at work. She's always at work but the man said he knew that and if she wasn't, he wouldn't be able to surprise her. Was it her birthday?"

Trevor was angry to say the least. "Is that the only time you saw him?"

The girl nodded.

"When was this?"

She thought back. "Hmmm, two days ago."

Sands hadn't been to work in two days.

_And Charlie's been hiding out for fear of getting found for two days._

_Fuck._

"And then," The little girl continued. "All those bangs happened tonight and now her and her friend are gone and his dog is still here."

Trevor frowned, realising it. Buster was here. Which meant Sands was here. Which meant he was taken too.

"Oh my God, Katie, you're okay!"

Trevor stood up when the little girl's parents, obviously having been notified, rushing into the apartment, her mother crushing the girl in a hug. Her father looked at Trevor.

"Who are you?"

"Trevor Hartford, I was just asking your daughter a few questions." Trevor replied. "She's been very helpful."

"Did she see what happened?" Her mother asked with wide eyes.

"No. I only heard all the loud noises." Katie replied. "And look, a doggie!"

"Oh." Her mother frowned. "Where did he come from?"

"He belongs to the blind guy that goes to visit Doctor Macintosh." Her father replied, using more friendly language around his daughter but Trevor got the message in his tone. "Why's he here?"

"I'm afraid Doctor Macintosh and Mr. Sands have gone missing." Trevor explained, using the word mister instead of agent for Sands. When possible, they never tried to give their real professions away. Just in case. They knew never to trust just anyone. "The dog found your daughter while your babysitter is being questioned. If you wouldn't mind hanging onto him while we sort things out, it'd be much appreciated. Thank you."

The mother frowned. "But..."

Trevor rushed out of the apartment and the girl looked at Buster.

"I'm going to call you...Princess!"

* * *

"Sands?"

Sands was beginning to wake up and as he did, he began hearing the voice of his doctor calling his name. Not the worst way to come back to conciousness, he decided.

"Sands? Wake up, you fuckmook."

_Okay, not the best way either._

"I wish I never taught you that word."

Charlie crawled over to him the best she could. "You're awake?"

"Exactly how you want me." Sands realised that he was lying down but they were also moving. "Where are we?"

"In the back of a truck." Charlie replied, looking around. They were covered by a tarp roof and bits of sunlight were shining through the cracks, providing a little light but not much. At least they were alone back there. She'd been awake for what felt like hours. But they hadn't roughed her up nearly as much as they had Sands. "How are you feeling?"

"Walking on sunshine, sugar." Sands said but his inability to sit up without groaning told another story. He gasped and his hand flung to his abdomen when he felt a sharp pain. His hand promptly became covered in blood.

"Careful." Charlie said quickly. "Your stitches aren't going to hold much longer. You're already bleeding through them. It's really only the bandages saving you and they're not going to be useful much longer either. I tried to help you a while ago but one of those goons came in and..."

Sands frowned. "And what?"

"They just tied my hands together." Charlie said, looking down at the rope forcing both of her hands together in front of her.

Sands put his hand out and felt over hers, eventually coming to the ropes.

"Even if I could see, I doubt I could undo these knots." Sands huffed.

Charlie didn't speak a word as his hand ran along hers and up her arm.

"How's the wrist?" Sands asked.

Charlie had to admit, she was surprised he remembered. "It's killing me but I'll manage."

Her surprise increased when his hand reached up to feel her face, her bottom lip which was now split and his hand ran across her cheek which was swollen and bruised.

"They didn't just tie your hands, sugar." Sands said with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm fine." Charlie assured. "I don't know if the same can be said for you if we leave that wound much longer."

"Well, I doubt you're in any position to play doctor."

"You'd think. Grab my skirt."

Sands smirked. "That kind of playing doctor? Well Mac, I never knew you were kinky."

Charlie huffed. "Only you Sands, would be in a life or death situation and still be getting at me with the come ons."

"Yes, ma'am."

"I was ripping the bottom of my skirt when they caught me. Here." Charlie took his hand in both hers and directed it to the bottom of her skirt where Sands did feel the fabric torn. "Rip it around and off and use it as a tourniquet."

Sands did so with a smirk. "I knew I'd eventually get around to ripping your clothes off."

"Sands! Focus!"

"I am. Intently." He said, his hand brushing against her thigh.

"I am begging you. Please, just while we're in this situation, please stop with the tawdry stuff."

Sands thought about it for a second before nodding and finishing ripping off the bottom of her skirt.

"Have I left you decent?"

"Don't worry, it was a knee length skirt."

"No fun."

"What did I just say?"

"Sorry, it's going to take a while to turn off." Sands gave her the fabric and she held the start of it in place against him.

"Okay, now wrap it around yourself tightly."

Sands did so and Charlie let go of the fabric as it was now firmly in place. "Now, what?"

"Now," Charlie knelt up. "I'll try tie it. If I can."

Charlie's wrist was in complete agony. It felt like it was just going to explode off her arm and tying the fabric was extremely awkward with her wrists bound together but she finally managed it with a little help from Sands.

"There. That should be okay for a while." Charlie sighed.

"Hmm, until they shoot me again."

Charlie looked at him with a angry expression. "You're welcome."

Sands sighed. "Bigger problems than etiquette at the moment, Mac."

Charlie huffed. "I think we're in Mexico by now."

"How long have we been driving?"

"I don't know. I wasn't conscious for a lot of it either."

"Must've drugged us."

"That's what it feels like." Charlie nodded. "How long is it to Mexico from Virginia?"

"From what I remember of the drive, nearly two thousand miles."

"You drove?"

"I like driving." Sands said. "Well, I liked driving. Just me, the radio and no one around to bother me about smoking and singing along."

Charlie smiled a little at his reminiscing. "So how many miles? Two thousand?"

"I think around that..." Sands replied, trying to sound casual.

"Sands, I know you remember exactly."

"One thousand, seven hundred and sixty nine miles."

Charlie nodded. "Twenty seven hours and twenty minutes."

Sands frowned. "Excuse me?"

"The length of time." Charlie explained. "That it takes to drive one thousand, seven hundred and sixty nine miles, assuming they're driving at sixty five miles an hour which judging by the speed and any time we hit a bump, is about what they're doing."

Sands was a little taken back. "You just did that? In your head? In that millisecond it took you to reply?"

"See? I am smart." Charlie smirked.

"I never doubted it, sugar."

"Funny way of showing it." Charlie replied with a smile, thinking back to all the times he called her stupid.

"Oh? In your private life? Absolutely clueless. The actual genius part? Never doubted it."

"I am not clueless about my private life."

"If you weren't, you wouldn't be here." Sands shrugged.

Charlie huffed and got back to the point. "Judging by the heat, it's the middle of the day. We're not going to be at Mexico for another few hours." She looked at Sands. "We could still be saved."

"Unlikely, sugar."

"But why not? Those guys shot my apartment up, the CIA must know I'm missing by now and that might lead Trevor to realise you've been missing too. They'll have everyone out looking for us."

"In Virginia."

"They must know who took us. They have two of their friends under arrest."

"I think this plan is quite new. Otherwise, we would have been taken already when they got arrested. Those guys that Trevor has will be no help except if they let him know the original plan which I bet was to take place in Virginia."

Charlie sighed. "Why are they taking us to Mexico? Why not just kill us at my apartment?"

"If I know these people as well as I think I do and that is not at all, it's to make sure nothing gets in their way anymore. Fighting us on their turf instead of ours."

"But you're not sure?"

"No but I can't think of why else they would. Unless they have something waiting for us there. A torture chamber or..."

"Please stop talking." Charlie paled at the words 'torture chamber'. How could he suggest something like that so smoothly?

_Because he's a CIA agent. You're not._

Charlie did have a grim realisation that Sands had been in situations like this before. She hadn't. She was just a doctor. She didn't have a clue about these things.

"Mac, listen, just do what they say when they're around and do what I say when they're not." Sands said, knowing what she was thinking. "If we get separated..."

"Trust my instincts?"

"Jesus Christ, no! Do the opposite! Do not trust your instincts or yourself. You'll get yourself killed."

Charlie frowned, a little insulted. "What? Why? What's wrong with my instincts?"

"Well, for one, they keep making you decide to keep me around..."

Charlie thought about it. "I'll think twice."

"Good girl."

Charlie couldn't help but smile but it disappeared when she saw his face scrunch in pain.

"I should have really gone to a hospital."

Charlie grimaced. "Is there anything I can do?"

She didn't know what she could do with her hands bound and with nothing around her and Sands was confused too but not for the same reasons.

"Why aren't you saying I told you so?" He frowned.

Charlie shrugged though he couldn't see it. "Doesn't seem appropriate. Anyway, you're always right so what would be the point throwing it in your face when you can easily do it to me right back?"

Sands scoffed. "What have I been right about? I thought you'd be an easy target."

"Target?"

"That's what you were," Sands groaned over his wound. "In the beginning."

Charlie knew that. She didn't like to hear it but she knew it. "And now?"

"And now what?"

"You were going to tell me something before we were burst in on. You said you were going to tell me the truth." Charlie braced herself for more hurt, either because the truth wasn't going to go her way or because it was but they were stuck in the back of moving truck being brought to be killed. "So, what's the truth?"

Sands was silent for a second. "A kiss."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You asked what you could do to make me feel better. A kiss would make me feel a hell of a lot more tip top."

"Sands, we're in a life or death situation and you're thinking about a kiss?"

"Hey, you want to discuss our feelings, I just want a kiss. Which one do you think will take less time?"

"So you're not going to tell me?"

"I'm going to tell you that I like the feel of your lips on mine, you can take what you want from that."

"That you're a man?"

"Who is lying here in pain and simply asking for a little comfort." Sands replied. "Wouldn't you provide that to someone who, let's face it, has had quite a shit year?"

Charlie smiled at his attempts to act innocent just to get a kiss. "You're an awful man, Sands."

"Is that a yes?"

Charlie leant down as best she could without being able to lean on her hands properly and pressed her lips against Sands'. The cut on her lip stung a bit but Sands deepening the kiss brought away the thoughts of pain from her mind.

The kiss broke when the truck stopped and the two jerked, Charlie having to stop herself falling on Sands by throwing herself to the side where she rolled onto her back next to him. They heard the doors of the truck open and two voices speaking Spanish.

Sands turned to where she was. "Get away from me."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Away, get away." Sands pushed her away as best he could.

"Okay, okay!" Charlie went and sat up against the front the front side of the truck just in time for the ropes holding the tarp in place were taken out of their knots and the part covering the back was pulled away. Charlie had to squint her eyes as the sunlight hit her.

One of the men chuckled. "Not interrupting anything, are we?"

Charlie realised why Sands had pushed her away from him.

_They were gossiping about us? They have nothing better to talk about?_

"We there yet?" Sands asked casually.

"Ah, sleeping beauty is awake." The henchman goaded. "She must have really worn you out, eh?"

"I do believe I asked a question." Sands replied, not paying attention to their quips about him and Charlie.

"We're nearly there." The henchman turned to his friend. "He just can't wait to be back."

"And there is someone there who can't wait to see you." His friend replied to Sands.

"And who might that be?" Sands asked.

"Oh, no telling yet, amigo. That would spoil the fun."

"Did you just stop for a chat?" Charlie asked, not seeing where this was going.

"If you have any better ideas on how to pass time, bonita..." The henchman turned to Charlie.

"How long is it going to take?" Sands asked, cutting him off.

"Well, with her I could go all night."

Charlie hoped Sands realised this guy was trying to get to him and to not let him.

"To Mexico." Sands replied coolly which Charlie was thankful for.

"Few more hours." The other man shrugged.

"Why have we stopped?" Charlie asked again.

"Filling up the gas tank, checking on you two though I do not like the fact that you two are awake and conversing."

Sands heard and felt as the less chatty henchman jump onto the back of the truck and was promptly yanked up with his hands pulled behind his back, being tied with a rope. He also felt as the first henchman came up.

"Oh, you left me her. Much obliged."

Sands soon heard a struggle and Charlie's muffled protests.

"What are you doing?" Sands asked quickly.

"Just giving her a little present." The henchman smirked as Sands continued to hear Charlie struggle. But it was when he stopped hearing her struggle that he found himself more...worried? Panicked? He didn't know. He just didn't like it.

"What did you do to her?"

"Chloroform." The henchman tying him up replied. "And now you can join her."

Sands felt a cloth cover his mouth as the chemical filled his nostrils. He struggled too but soon felt his conciousness slip away from him as everything went black.

* * *

"Mac? Wake up!"

Charlie started to come around and the sound of Sands' furious whispering. She let out a groan.

"Mac? Charlie? You awake?"

"Yeah..."

Her voice was weak and she tried to open her eyes a fraction, but the pain in her head let her know that doing that would cause serious pain to her eyes.

"Charlie? Come on Charlotte, get a grip and stop being useless."

Charlie opened her eyes to glare at him angrily before closing them again in pain. "Oh God. Asshole."

Sands smirked. "I need you responsive, sugar. Making you angry always does the trick."

Charlie sighed and opened her eyes carefully. She realised she was tied to a chair and Sands' chair was backed up against hers so she couldn't actually look at him. Her hands were tied behind her back and Sands' were tied behind his.

"Can you see anything? Where are we?" Sands asked. He knew they were alone seeing as the bastards taunting him a while ago had left but that was all he knew.

Charlie looked around. "We're in an attic, I think."

"Is there a window? An open door? Anything we can use to escape?"

Charlie looked around. There were some boxes and containers, an old table and chair set, a few paintings, lots of decorations and other junk.

"Nothing I can see that would be helpful."

"Window?"

"Yeah," Charlie noticed. "A big one. I can see the truck that brought us here."

"Anything else?"

"A jeep, a garden, it's a big place, surrounding walls."

"You'd be surprised by the amount of people who have henchmen and don't have mansions and surrounding walls. Anything distinctive? Something that I might be able to remember?"

Charlie looked around. "Just gardens, nice statues, topiaries, the usual stuff you would see in a mansion's garden."

"Anyone?"

"No, no one."

Sands huffed. "Fantastic."

"How long have you been awake?"

"About two hours."

"Were you here when you woke up?"

"Yeah, I think they kept drugging us to keep us asleep." Sands frowned. "What time is it?"

"No idea but from the look of outside, early morning." Charlie remembered. "How's your abdomen?"

"It's holding up." Sands replied. "The wrist?"

"Painful but it's the least of my worries."

"Really? Your career depends on your hands."

"Right now, my career depends on me staying alive."

"Mac, don't start planning your obituary yet." Sands said. "I'm going to find a way to get us out of here."

Charlie sighed. "I hope you're right."

She felt Sands' hand catch hers from behind their backs. "Trust me."

Charlie didn't know why, he'd never given her reason to, but she did.

"Charlie..."

"A car is pulling up."

Sands frowned. "What kind?"

"A rolls royce. A really nice one."

"That's our boss." Sands replied. "What's he look like?"

Charlie kept looking down and watched as the person emerged from the car. "She's gorgeous."

Sands frowned. "She?"

"Yeah. Tanned, long light brown hair, wearing a white suit, tall, I can't see her features that well."

Sands tried to think. "I don't think I know of her. Maybe she's his wife."

"Excuse you, women can be powerful mob bosses too."

"What are you? A Spice Girl? Cut the girl power bullshit when we have more important things to worry about. I just meant I don't know of any powerful mafia or cartel in Mexico run by a woman."

"Maybe she's new."

"If she were, she'd be thanking me for clearing Barillo out of the way, not kidnapping me to shoot me."

"Maybe she's Barillo's wife."

"Barillo didn't have a wife. It was just him and Ajedrez."

"You didn't know about Ajedrez until it was too late. Maybe this is like that."

"If Barillo had a wife, she would have lived with him! Ramirez would have found out about her from Billy Chambers and he would have let me know about a wife."

"Who's Billy Chambers?"

"Is this really what you want to discuss right now?"

"Okay, maybe she's some woman you had your way with and then just dropped and now she wants revenge."

"This much revenge? Because I never called her back? Seriously?"

"You piss women off, believe it or not."

"Oh really?" Sands asked sarcastically interested. "Well, we'll really need to have a lengthy conversation about that, really get into the crux of the problem, maybe it stems from my mother. Enough with the feminist bullshit!"

"Oh my God, I would go to this much trouble to kill you!"

"Kill me? You won't even sleep with me! You can't do your precious little job and follow your precious little rules from a prison cell!"

"You are such an asshole! I don't hear you coming up with reasons she might want you dead though believe me, there are more than enough, and then you get annoyed with every one I suggest!"

"Oh, I don't want to accept reasons people might want me dead? What a fucking shock! You're right, Mac! I really am acting like a moron! It all began the minute you walked into my fucking hospital room!"

"You're blaming me? I'm tied to a chair in an attic in Mexico because of you! If anyone gets to throw the blame around here, it's me! You just couldn't leave me the fuck alone! Oh no, you had to play your little games and try get into my head and now look at where the fuck I am!"

"I can't look at anything, you insensitive bitch!"

"You know what I meant!"

"No, I don't know anything you mean because you're always contradicting yourself! You do one thing then say another and then you say something and do the complete opposite! You're the most frustrating woman I've ever had to fucking deal with!"

"You didn't have to deal with me! You chose to!"

"Well, I have a tendency to pick the wrong women!"

"I've noticed! I'm tied up in an attic because of it!"

"There is no one insane enough to risk the CIA coming after them because I fucked and fled! That is a stupid guess!"

"You got a better one?"

"It's a little hard to think with your shrill tones deafening me!"

"Fuck you!"

"I've been trying to get you to forever!"

"Stop being a prick and think of something! This is your fault!"

"Oh, just let them fucking shoot me!" Sands moaned.

"Don't worry, Agent Sands, we're getting around to it."

Charlie looked to the door and Sands turned to the voice that appeared. Standing there was the women in the white suit. Behind her was the chatty henchman.

"Like your present?"

The woman smirked. "Better than anything I could have asked for."

Sands frowned. He didn't recognise the voice. "Who are you?"

The woman walked over to Sands and smacked him in the face. Sands head flung to the side before he brought it back.

"No, that doesn't help. I'll need a name."

"Oh, believe me Sands, it helped." The woman smirked. "Not as much as killing you will but it was satisfying." She turned to Charlie. "You should try it."

"I already have." Charlie replied.

The woman chuckled. "With all the shouting I just interrupted, I'm not surprised. Who are you?"

Charlie was a little surprised. "I'm his doctor."

"Oh, the doctor." The woman nodded. "I've heard a lot about you." She looked at Sands. "She's not as pretty."

Charlie frowned. "Pretty as who?"

The woman stood in front of Sands, looking down at him. "His last conquest."

Sands frowned. "Who are you?"

"I am Lupe Medina. I was Lupe Barillo up until my divorce and you Sheldon Jeffrey Sands, killed my only daughter, my Ajedrez. Now, I am going to get my revenge."

Sands was shocked to say the least.

"Told you so."

"Shut up, Mac."

* * *

**The character I really feel sorry for in all of this? Buster. I can just imagine him now, sitting in front of a little tea set with a furry pink crown on his head and slowly dying inside. =P**

**Thanks for the review!**


	18. Self Preservation

**To peaches: Thank you!**

**Here's Chapter 18!**

"You're Ajedrez's mother?"

"I was." Lupe said sternly. "Until you killed her."

"Well, she did rip my eyes out."

Sands' head flung to the side as she slapped him again.

"Don't you dare try to make excuses! You murdered my daughter and you will pay for it."

Charlie could hear the anger in her voice which she was using to try to hide the pain. She would have felt sorry for this woman if she didn't have Charlie, someone who'd never even met Ajedrez, tied to a chair in her attic.

"I'm not making excuses." Sands said. "Look, your daughter got messed up in some heavy shit. So did I and I lost my eyes for it. She knew what she was getting into. She was playing around in things that could have gotten her killed and they did. Just because I was the one who pulled the trigger doesn't make her decision my fault."

Lupe looked like she was about to burst a blood vessel. Charlie couldn't see her properly but she was right to assume that, even though Sands made sense, it was definitely the wrong thing to say.

"Sands?"

Sands and Lupe frowned at Charlie chiming in.

"What?" Sands asked.

"Shut up."

Lupe looked at the henchmen. "You're right, she is smart."

"You'd think." Sands mumbled.

"Well she's right that you should shut your mouth." Lupe said through gritted teeth. "You have no idea what you are talking about."

"I know that she was looking pretty satisfied with herself when she had the upper hand. I never saw her when she had the lower one." Sands went on. "She didn't sound too happy though."

"You're practically begging me to kill you right now." Lupe replied. "Don't pretend you knew anything about my daughter."

"I didn't. She lied to me the entire time."

Lupe looked to her henchmen. "Leave."

Charlie saw the men grow confused. "But..."

"They are tied to chairs! Get out!"

The henchmen left and closed the doors behind them.

Lupe grabbed a chair and put it in front of Sands. She sat down.

"If you claim you never knew her, how the hell do you think talking about her will save your life?"

"I'm not talking about your daughter. I'm talking about your daughter's decisions." Sands shrugged. "None of which were my fault."

"No, those could be credited to her father. But he's already dead."

"Thanks to me." Sands didn't hear a reply. "Just saying. I didn't do it myself but I hired the guy who did. Surely that counts for something."

"Not enough."

"A lot of women would appreciate me getting rid of their old lovers. Ask Mac there, she's been a lot happy since I did it for her."

"Oh yeah, ecstatic." Charlie said sarcastically.

"Oh, I'm sorry, you wanted to stay with Billy?"

"Barry. And you didn't influence my decision to break up with him, I did that on my own. You just haven't let me enjoy it since I did it."

"What do you mean I didn't influence your decision?"

"You weren't even in the state!"

"That just makes it even more impressive. Face it Mac, if it weren't for me, you would still be stuck in that dead end situation."

"Instead of this literal dead end situation?"

"No, this would have happened anyway. Blame being a doctor on this."

"Of course because you aren't to blame for anything in the world! Not that we're here, not why we're here, it's everyone else's fault!"

"Well, I definitely blame you for making my ears bleed!"

"Would you two shut up?" Lupe shouted. They seemed to have forgotten she was there.

Sands turned his head in her direction. "How haven't I heard of you? I was down in this God forsaken country long enough to know every crime lord."

"Ah, but you see Agent Sands, I am not a crime lord. I am just a wealthy woman who now wants revenge and is willing to go to any lengths, pay any price to achieve it."

"Wait, so you're not even a criminal?" Charlie asked.

"Not even a parking ticket." Lupe shrugged.

"And you're willing to risk everything for..."

"Retribution for my daughter's death?" Lupe chimed in. "Do you have children, Doctor Macintosh?"

"No."

"Then you cannot understand the lengths a parent will go to for their child. My daughter was murdered and the man who did it escaped scot free."

"Scot free? I'm blind!" Sands replied.

"And your corrupt organisation is working to get you new eyes! Once she fixes you, your life will go back to normal! My life will never be the same! Ajedrez's life is over!"

"Because she got involved in operations that meant risking her life! Maybe you should realise that if you had taken her away from all that then maybe she'd still be alive."

"Do you not think I tried? Armando was much more powerful and much more rich than I am, not to mention his underhanded and shady tactics. He wanted Ajedrez after the divorce and I could do nothing, inside or outside of court. He had everything in his favour, everyone in his pocket, under his thumb. He raised and groomed Ajedrez into becoming the perfect undercover agent, away from me."

"Well that's a sad story and everything but Ajedrez had a mind of her own." Sands said. "She loved what she was doing. She wasn't some little girl caught up in things she didn't understand because daddy told her to."

"That doesn't change the fact that she is gone because you killed her."

"I was defending myself. She was about to kill me."

"She would have saved me the trouble."

Lupe got up and took a gun from her designer bag, pointing it at him. "Goodbye Agent Sands."

"Wait!"

Lupe looked to Charlie. "What?"

"You can't." Charlie said, thinking furiously. "If you kill him like this, now, it'll never be the revenge you want."

"It seems befitting to me." Lupe replied.

"Think about it." Charlie went on. "He hasn't even tried to apologise. Look at the cocky bastard, he still doesn't think it's his fault. If you kill him now, he'll always die thinking of you as getting the wrong end of the stick. He'll never have died for killing Ajedrez, not to him. He'll have died because you're a silly woman who doesn't understand the reasons she's doing what she's doing."

Lupe lowered the gun and walked over to Charlie. "Oh really? Well, what if I killed you in revenge? Surely he would understand those actions."

"Not really." Charlie replied. "Killing me wouldn't even register a fraction to him what Ajedrez's death did to you. Ajedrez was your daughter. I'm just a co-worker who annoys him."

"It's true." Sands cut in.

Charlie rolled her eyes. "He'd consider me being killed as getting off easy. Our shouting at each other should clue you into that."

Lupe looked between Sands and Charlie. "That shouting is passionate. It derives from your want of each other."

"The only I want is new eyes." Sands said.

"The only thing I want is that surgery." Charlie added.

"Both using each other for your own motives?" Lupe asked. "Then why were ye found together at her apartment?"

"I was shot." Sands said. "She's a doctor."

"That is all? Then why have my men seen you two together a lot more than you should have been?"

"Oh, that's easy to explain," Sands shrugged. "I was trying to get her into bed. I firgured if I got her to think of me in her personal life, it would make her work harder to get me eyes."

Lupe looked to Charlie. "And you?"

Charlie shrugged. "I just haven't had sex in a really long time."

Sands resisted the urge to add to that statement or at least, chuckle.

"Charming." Lupe replied.

"More so than Ajedrez, believe me." Sands said.

Charlie rolled her eyes before looking up at Lupe. "You would have had more luck stealing his dog than me."

"Don't bring the dog into this." Sands said.

"The man's a sociopath." Charlie went on. "Killing someone else to make him pay won't do anything."

"So I should just kill him and let you go back to your CIA and let them know who killed their agent?"

"They're the CIA," Sands said. "They'll find out anyway."

"Will they?" Lupe asked. "How? I've left it months after Ajedrez's death just so they wouldn't link your death to hers."

"Some of your men were arrested."

Lupe smirked. "Believe it or not, there are some people out there willing to go to extreme lengths for money. Those men in America? I didn't hire them, my henchmen did and those men agreed because they lived in America illegally, well besides the homeless man who robbed you." She looked at Charlie before continuing. "But still, all of them needed the money. Your Agent Hartford can question them all he likes. They'll only be able to tell him that they were hired by getting paid up front by an anonymous source. It can't be traced back to me."

"They're a little smarter than that." Sands said. "They'll know when they find our bodies."

"When they find your bodies? They'll never know to check under the topiaries in my garden." Lupe shrugged.

"If you're going to kill us, I'd at least like to be killed for a good reason." Charlie said. "If you kill us now, you'll always regret it and I'll be dead and pissed."

"What about me?" Sands frowned.

"Fuck you." Charlie glared.

Lupe looked at them. "You're both ridiculous." Sands and Charlie stayed silent, not really having an argument against that. "But you make a good point." She said to Charlie. "I will not kill you yet."

"Are you just going to leave us up here?" Sands asked.

Lupe thought about it. Even if they denied it or were just too stupid to realise, they did care about each other. And when she thought about it, Charlie was the only emotional weapon that Lupe had to make Sands realise what he'd put her through. They were killing each other now but throwing them into close quarters, heightening the stakes, make them realise they could lose each other and then threatening Charlie could be just what Lupe needed to get him panicked. As it was, he was quite cool. She wanted him to feel her pain before she killed him. That's why she took Charlie.

"No." Lupe said. She walked over to the door and called back in the henchmen. "Take them downstairs."

The henchman frowned. "Why?"

"Because I said so." Lupe turned back to the two. "I shall be seeing you soon."

She left and the henchman summoned in his partner, one going to Charlie and the other going to Sands.

"Don't fight back, amigos. We have guns." The one untying Sands said. Sands wasn't sure if he could fight back, he was a little weak from his blood loss.

They were dragged up and brought out of the attic and down into a bedroom where Sands was thrown in first and Charlie was thrown in on top of him. Sands let out a groan and Charlie got off him quickly as the door was closed and locked.

"Anything around?" Sands asked.

Charlie looked around for a potential weapon or escape. "Nothing. She must have prepared this room for us."

"Hmm, crazy bitch."

Charlie looked at him. "Grieving mother."

"Most grieving mothers just...you know...grieve. Not break several laws including murder."

"She wants closure and has the means to get it." Charlie shrugged.

"You sound like you're on her side."

"I understand why she's doing what she's doing. I'm on my side."

"Is that the same as my side?"

"I don't know."

Sands chuckled. "We're going to find out what's what now, aren't we?"

Charlie frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, the reason we're so incompatibly compatible, Mac, is because we're alike. I've always said you'd sell your own mother if it meant you'd get ahead and I've never given a fuck about anyone else as long as I'm good. Well, now here we both are in a life or death situation with only the other to depend on. If you really care about me like you say you do, are you going to jeopardise your own safety to help me or are you going to help yourself?"

Charlie was shocked. "You think if I had the opportunity to just leave and survive and let them kill you, I'd take it?"

"Not necessarily but you're forgetting though it may be quite hard to do, people like this took my eyes because I'd seen too much. These people want to keep it that way and what's getting in the way of that? You. They might not threaten to kill you since Lupe seems to actually nod mind you but a few minutes alone with her henchmen? By the time they get done with you, you'll never walk into a operating room again. You'll only be wheeled in there as a patient."

Charlie faltered. "They'd ruin my hands?"

"Ruin? I'm saying they'll do to your hands what they did to my eyes. Your career will be over and as has been pointed out only too often, your job is your life just like my job was mine."

"But...you still have your job. You..."

"I'm leading a fucking shell of a life and you know it. Jesus, the only thing I've got going for me is you and you're going to leave me to die here."

"No! I never..."

"My shell of a life or your shell of a life? Which one would you choose?"

Charlie really didn't want to hear this. She didn't want to choose. It was selfish but she didn't. "What about you? You said you don't care about me so if you got the opportunity, you'd just leave me here to die and save yourself?"

"I'm not getting the opportunitty. If you die, I'm defintiely dying. I'm the one who killed her bitch of a daughter. I'm the reason this is happening. I'm not getting a choice."

"You weren't getting a choice ten minutes ago. You're still alive. That's because of me. Doesn't that prove anything?"

Sands thought about it. He would be dead right now if it weren't for Charlie. She'd saved his life by prattling on about the joy of revenge and making Lupe reconsider her plan. It was a long shot but she'd made it work thanks to quick thinking. "It proves you panicked."

"One of us had to. You were just pissing her off."

"It's what I do best."

"Don't I know it. I couldn't help but notice I had to save my own life too since you weren't too quick to help me out when she wanted to kill me."

Sands shrugged. "You were doing good enough on your own. You didn't need my help and like you said, I only succeeded in pissing her off. If I had chimed in on how she shouldn't kill you, she definitely would have killed you. You two get each other in some weird way. Maybe it's because you're both crazy but for whatever reason, I think she might actually like you. Use that and it could get us out of here."

"Yeah, us or just me."

"Thanks a lot, sugar."

"Didn't you just say there's no hope for you?"

"I would still like to be considered."

"So would I."

Sands stayed silent. In questioning her, he had also questioned himself. If it came down to it, would he trade Charlie's life for his own safety? If it had been a few months or ago or anyone else in the world then definitely but now? The fact that he didn't have an answer straight away threw Sands immensely.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned.

Sands came back from his thoughts. "Well we're going nowhere quick so no point in wondering who would save who."

Charlie looked at him, disappointed. "Right." She shook herself out of it quickly, trying to curb her feelings. "You better let me look at your wound."

Sands nodded and lay back on the bed, propped up by his elbows so Charlie could get better access to his abdomen. She inspected it and Sands heard her get off the bed and walk somewhere before hearing a knock on the door.

"Mac, what are you doing?" He asked quickly.

The door opened and a henchman appeared. "Qué?"

"Tell Lupe that I need some bandages, needle and thread."

"What makes you possibly think she would allow it?"

"Because if I don't stitch Agent Sands up, he's going to bleed out and she can't kill a dead man."

"She wouldn't have to."

"But she wants to be the one who kills him and I don't think she'd appreciate being robbed of the opportunity. So go tell her that or bring her here and I will."

The henchman looked at Charlie for a second before leaving and locking the door.

"I'm dying?" Sands asked.

"No but better safe than sorry."

"If I believed that, I'd never get you into bed."

"Thanks, Sands."

"No problem, sugar."

Charlie stayed silent as she walked around the room, taking in her surroundings, trying to maybe find something that could save them. She stopped when she came to a picture frame with a photograph inside it of Lupe with a younger woman who looked like her.

"It looks like Lupe wanted to keep reminders around of what you did." She said causing Sands to frown.

"What do you mean?"

Charlie put the frame back onto the cabinet. "A picture of Ajedrez."

"How is that going to make me feel guilty? I can't see it."

"It's not for you. Like always, it's my emotional resolve that will be hanging on by a thread."

"That's because you have emotional resolve."

"You say that as if I can control it."

"You could if you tried."

"It's not that easy, Sands." Charlie said, sitting on the end of the bed. "Believe me, if I could turn off my emotions, I would do it."

Sands stayed silent and they didn't talk until the door opened. Charlie stood up and went to the henchman who had what she'd asked for in his hands. He gave them to her and closed the door quickly and Charlie heard the lock. Charlie turned back to Sands.

"Looks like Lupe isn't as heartless as you think."

"I bet she would be if she tried." Sands said.

Charlie rolled her eyes and walked over to him. She took away the remains of her skirt from Sands who hissed at the feeling. She got to work but Sands could hear and definitely feel her struggling.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Mac, if there's something wrong with you stitching me up, I'd like to know."

"It's nothing!"

Sands was taken back by her outburst. "What's going on?"

Charlie couldn't admit that her wrist was giving her much more trouble than she'd like. She couldn't stand the pain she was under and it affected her movements as her hand shook. What if all the being tied up and being thrown around had damaged her wrist more than it already was and more than she could allow it to be damaged?

"Charlie, in case you haven't noticed, I'm in a lot of fucking pain here and I would like to know if going through this is worth it since I might die anyway and you're not telling me."

"Well, turn your fear off." Charlie said shortly. "After all, it isn't that hard."

Sands huffed and lay his head back on the pillow. "You really are a bitch."

"Yeah, well if I cared about what patients felt, I'd be a practitioneer and not a surgeon."

"You still have to deal with patients."

"I'm the head of the medical department in the CIA. I don't have to do anything, I have people who do it for me."

Sands chuckled. "I never even thought of that. You're the boss."

"Yes I am."

"Are you strict?"

"Sands..."

"Bossy?"

"Sands!"

"A lot of other people are under you?"

Charlie was trying to act annoyed but she had to admit to herself, he was taking her mind off of her wrist. She didn't think he meant to do it since she hadn't told him what was happening but that didn't make her appreciate it any less.

"So you don't have to deal with patients if you don't want to?"

"Well, I have to somewhat but being in the CIA isn't like being in a regular hospital. People who need surgery and hear I'm doing it already know me. They know what I'm like so I pretty much just have to run through what I'm going to do."

"That explains a lot and brings up a lot of questions."

Charlie frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, for one, it explains why you have no friends..."

"I have friends!"

"Don't lie. I've known you for a while now and you've never been socially busy, you've never gotten a call from anyone but me, Trevor or your ex and you know, it's blatantly obvious that you have no friends. Now it could be because you're antisocial and don't like dealing with people as opposed to other people not wanting to deal with you."

Charlie stayed silent, not being able to argue but also not wanting to admit that he was right.

"The question it raises is if you don't want to get involved with your patients, why did you get involved with me?"

"You made me, remember? You blackmailed me into helping with your rehab."

"And what about getting Buster? Trying to talk to me back on the plane to America or even the hospital room?"

Charlie huffed. "Hospital? Bored. Plane? Pity. Buster? Trying to preserve my eye transplant. You wouldn't have been very handy if you ran out in front of a car."

"That's all?"

"Yup."

"And then?"

"And then, what?"

"You have to admit, for two antisocial people, we spend a hell of a lot of time together."

"That's because you practically stalk me. Wait, what do I mean practically?"

"You don't push me away...much. Besides, you told me that you like being close to someone. How can you be needy and antisocial?"

Sands felt Charlie's hands leave him. "You're done."

"You're not. You didn't answer my question."

"I don't have to."

"We've got nothing else to do."

Charlie got off the bed and walked over to the frame, picking it up. "What was Ajedrez to you?"

Sands frowned. "What?"

Charlie turned to him. "Well, was she your partner? Your girlfriend? What?"

"She was a handy connection. Or so I thought."

"So it was purely professional?"

"Are you jealous, Mac?"

"No." Charlie said and she really wasn't. "But I mean, once you got the twenty million and don't deny that was your plan because we both know it was, once you got it and split it up, were you going to go your seperate ways or stick together?"

"Neither. She was playing me. I was never getting that money."

"But you didn't know that. What was your plan?"

"My plan? Get the money and go from there."

"You had no thought of wanting her afterwards?"

"Jesus, I don't know. Why are you asking me this?" Sands asked, annoyed.

"It's only you that can ask the awkward questions?"

"My questions get us somewhere. This is just digging up old graves."

"We have nothing better to do."

Sands huffed and mumbled something Charlie couldn't hear.

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"I said," Sands repeated loudly. "I never had sex with Ajedrez."

Charlie was surprised to say the least. "You didn't?"

"No. Because I, and you won't believe this, did not want to mix work and pleasure."

"You have no idea how much I want to smack you right now."

"Look, that sting was a big operation." Sands explained. "One cog out of place and the whole thing would fall apart. I was depending on a lot of people to do the dirty work and manipulating a lot of things to my favour. I did not need anything fucking it up and fucking Ajedrez might have done that. So I didn't. I was waiting until after we got the twenty million."

"So you were planning on keeping her around?"

"Yes."

Charlie nodded.

"But not because I wanted a happily ever after with her like you're probably thinking." Sands said. "I figured if she could pull this off, there could be other heists she'd be able to manage."

"So you wanted a competent fuck buddy?"

"Pretty much, yeah. I didn't care about her."

"Because you don't care about anybody."

"Mac, I'm not having this conversation again."

"You've never had this conversation in the first place."

Sands got up off the bed. "Because there is nothing to converse about. You care, I don't, sucks for you but that's the end of it."

"That wasn't the end of it back in my apartment when you were going to tell me the truth, right before we got taken."

Sands had forgotten about that.

"So," Charlie asked. "What's the truth?"

"The truth is we're in a complicated enough situation without making it more complicated."

"You're such a coward!" Charlie said angrily. "Why can't you just say it? Just fucking say it!"

"What the fuck do you want me to say?"

"That letting you into my life was not the stupidest thing I've ever done."

"Even if you heard what you want to hear, that'd still be true."

"But it might be worth it."

"There's only one way to find that out, Mac."

"And what's that?"

"To see, should a choice need to be made, which one of us is walking out of here alive."

* * *

**Hmm, will Lupe get what she wants? I was thinking about Sands and Ajedrez's scenes a lot for this chapter and what made me decide that they probably didn't get up to anything is the hotel room scene where she is acting all "girl with a crush" after he leaves. I don't know, didn't seem like they were actually together as opposed to getting there.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	19. Coming Up With A Plan

**To peaches: Thank you!**

**Here's Chapter 19!**

"Any new developments?"

"None. They shout, go quiet, shout and go quiet."

"What are they now?" Lupe asked.

"Quiet. I think they are asleep."

"He is, maybe. She won't be able to. Wait until they start shouting again and they go quiet, call me."

The henchman frowned. "Okay."

Lupe smirked. In the hours she had left Sands and Charlie alone, she'd come up with a plan that definitely make Sands play. She just needed the right timing.

* * *

"I need to go to the bathroom."

The henchman looked at Charlie suspiciously.

"Believe it or not, it is a requirement that humans need to indulge in now and then." Charlie said sarcastically. "Trust me on this, doctors know these things."

The henchman nodded and he grabbed her arm, dragging her to the bathroom. She turned when she saw that he didn't leave.

"Some privacy please?"

The henchman left and locked the door. Now that Charlie was alone, she started searching the bathroom frantically.

_There must be something in here._

Charlie couldn't even find a nail clipper. Lupe had really gotten everything prepared for dealing with Sands who was probably excellent at improvising his way out of these situations.

Charlie looked through the drug cabinet and smiled when she came across something handy.

_Nail polish remover. That could work._

She closed the mirror cabinet and went to the cabinet under the sink looking for what could also help her. She smiled when she did indeed find bleach.

_Probably to clean up all our blood. _

_Well, maybe now it can save us._

Charlie closed the cabinet and stood up straight, flushing the toilet to make things seem authentic and waited a few seconds before knocking on the door. "I'm done."

The henchman opened the door and Charlie walked out. "Much better."

"Shh."

She huffed and the henchman dragged her back to the room where Sands was still lying on the bed.

"What time is it?" He asked when she sat back down.

"No idea. The middle of the night."

"Why are you still awake?" Sands asked, sitting up after just waking up himself.

Charlie frowned at him. "How can you sleep?"

"Very easily. There's nothing else to do."

"Except wait for Lupe to come up and put a bullet in our heads?"

"If there was a way to get out of here, I'd use but you'd have been the one to spot it, Mac. I can't really do anything since I can't see anything to use."

Charlie sighed, looking around. "There's nothing. Books, photos, the window is locked…"

Sands frowned. "There's a window?"

"Of course there is."

"And you didn't realise in that giant brain of yours that windows can be broken?"

"Yes they can but being on the second floor of a mansion that's being guarded puts a scupper on that plan, don't you think? Think about things."

"Sorry, we're not all super geniuses."

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out that falling from a great height could hurt."

"I'm getting the feeling you're not very happy, Mac."

"Oh, do you?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow. "No idea where you could have gotten that idea."

"I know. It's not like you don't always act pissed off and…well, like a woman frankly."

"Only around you. That should tell you something."

"That you're a woman?"

Charlie rolled her eyes.

Not hearing a response, Sands tried again. "I have terrible taste?"

Charlie huffed and looked out the window at the night sky. Below the window in the garden were people patrolling, making sure they couldn't escape.

"How can neither of us think of something? You've never been in a situation where you have to improvise?"

"I never been in a position where I've been blind, locked in a room with no weapon and had to improvise. I, at least, had a gun when trying to get around Mexico after they took my eyes. And you're also not being very helpful by sitting there and complaining. You could try and think of something too."

"I have been thinking. If I could…"

Charlie was cut off when Sands began kissing her fervently. He pushed her back onto the bed but Charlie pulled away. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Shh."

Charlie frowned as Sands began kissing her jaw. "What?"

Sands' lips went to her ear and he began whispering. "Okay, your first rule of being a hostage. Do not say your plan out loud because believe it or not, they tend to listen in on conversations."

"We were just discussing how to get out of here."

"Unsuccessfully. Let's keep it that way."

"But," Charlie whispered, realising why he needed to be so close to her. "How can I tell you my plan if I can't say it?"

"That's where improvising comes into it. I would usually say mime it but I'm not too good at charades at the moment."

"Can't I just whisper it to you?"

Sands huffed and indicated to all around the room before pointing at his ear. Charlie realised he was suggesting the room was bugged.

Charlie was about to reply when she stopped and frowned. "Oh my God."

"What?"

She was still whispering. "You have a plan."

Sands covered her mouth quickly, also whispering. "Do you seriously not know how to shut the fuck up?"

Charlie pushed his hand away and hit him on the arm. He had a plan and he never told her. "Was I even going to be involved?"

"Why the hell can you not stop talking?"

"If you're so worried about bugs, what was all that shit a while ago about them making us choose?" She whispered. "You don't mind them hearing that?"

"No, I don't. Not if it makes it seem like we're turning on each other. Then they won't make us choose because there's no point."

Charlie sat up and folded her arms, keeping her mouth shut. This was unbelievable. He had been working on some master plan this whole time! Ever since they got in here! He had been goading her again and again to find something to help them escape and then shooting down everything she suggested on purpose so Lupe would suspect that they couldn't think of something! But he had! Here she was agonizing over how to save them both and he was just biding his time until he could make his great escape. She had been terrified and he didn't even think to try and ease her mind. He didn't have to spell out his plan to her but maybe mimed like he suggested? It's not like she couldn't see him! Even mouthed it to her. But he didn't even want her to know.

_Maybe because I wasn't involved in his plan._

Sands frowned when he felt Charlie get off the bed but didn't hear any more movement.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to sleep." She said in her normal voice.

Sands frowned. What was she up to?

"Mac…"

"Can you not talk anymore?" She asked, still doing what, Sands had no clue. "It's kind of hard to drift off with you prattling on in my ear."

Sands felt her push him to sit up quietly and put her hand behind the pillow he had been leaning against.

"None there." She whispered, more to herself than him.

"What?"

Charlie placed something into his hand and kept whispering. "There's your little bug. Now stop talking so I can find the rest and turn them off and it'll just sound like we're silently sleeping."

Charlie kept sneaking around the room, checking in all the hard to reach spots, crawling discreetly under the bed, checking in drawers and cabinets, behind them, behind the bed, all around the curtains, under tables, behind tables, anywhere in the room that seemed hidden. She even checked in and around the books that lay around. She found four and switched them all off, hoping that whoever was listening would just hear silence and think she and Sands really were sleeping.

She walked back to the bed but still kept her voice at a whisper. "Okay, now can you tell me?"

Sands frowned. "No."

"What? Why?"

"Because I keep my cards close to my chest and I don't necessarily trust that you found all of them."

"Sands…"

"My thoughts are going to be as hard for you to get into as it is for me to get into your pants, sugar. You ain't knowing a thing."

Charlie put her head in her hand. "Oh my God. It wasn't just for their benefit."

That confused him. "Excuse me?"

"The whole choice thing. It wasn't just for their benefit. You were telling the truth. There is a choice. And you made yours."

"Charlie, be quiet. You don't know what you're talking about." Sands said, realising her voice was getting slightly louder.

"And that's exactly how you prefer things. You knowing all my plans, my details but me being completely in the dark about you."

"Are you seriously trying to get into that shit now? You want to shout at me because I won't tell you my feelings? You're about to get us both killed."

"And just me would be so much easier for you!"

"Are you trying…?" Sands realised. "What the fuck are you up to?"

Charlie smirked before getting off the bed and turning angry again. "You are such an asshole, Sands! This is all your fault in the first place!"

"How am I the fucking psychotic one here?" Sands asked himself, utterly confused.

* * *

"I'm getting a headache over here."

Lupe looked to the henchman standing at her door. "What?"

"They're fighting again. And she must have found the bugs because it isn't picking up her screaming. Not that you'd need them to. You can hear them going for each other yourself."

Lupe could hear the shouting. "Like I said, when they go quiet."

"We're not minding that they found the bugs?"

"He's a CIA agent and she's smart. They were always going to find them. But now, that they've found them, theirs guards are down. Let them keep screaming for a while and let me know when they stop."

"My eardrums are about to burst. Why can't we just kill them?"

Lupe huffed. "Men. So impatient."

"We took them to kill them."

Lupe looked at them. "You took them so I could kill them. And I will decide when I do that. Now go and wait for what I said or I will kill you."

The henchman left her living room and Lupe bit her thumbnail, going back to thinking up her plan for the perfect revenge.

_I need to think about this very carefully if I want this plan to work._

* * *

"Jesus, I hope they fucking shoot me soon!" Sands shouted. "Having to be in here with you is worse than getting my eyes ripped out!"

"Shoot you? Oh no! They're shooting me, remember? You're getting off fucking easy!"

Sands came to realise why she was so upset. "You think you weren't involved?" He said quietly, no longer shouting.

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You think my plan is my plan and I'm leaving you here."

"It's not?"

Sands didn't say anything. He instead placed his hands on either side of her face and kissed her passionately. Charlie was surprised to say the least but the thought that she had been wrong both thrilled her and made her regret what she had just done as part of her own plan.

They jumped apart when the door burst open.

"Hmmm, he doesn't care, does he not?" Lupe asked with a smirk.

Sands' hands left Charlie. "I didn't care about your daughter either. Didn't stop me."

Lupe's smirk disappeared. "Then you won't mind this at all. Grab her."

The henchman grabbed Charlie and Sands heard her struggle.

"What are you doing?" He asked as he felt himself get grabbed too.

"You see, you both seem to think I am just some foolish woman with a vendetta." Lupe explained. "But I know what both of you are up to. You are purely selfish. You see, you both have plans. That much is obvious. They are plans involving only yourselves. You see, Agent Sands, what Doctor Macintosh was just trying to do was create a ruckus so I would have her moved to a different room where she could carry out her plan of getting away by herself and you could carry out yours. If you're not together then you don't have to worry about each other, either saving or choosing." Lupe smirked.

Charlie closed her eyes in frustration. That was her plan. If Sands was only going to save himself then she was going to let him save himself and she'd try to save herself. But what she didn't know and what Lupe still didn't seem to know was that Sands' plan had involved Charlie. He just hadn't told her that.

"So what are you going to do now?" Sands asked.

"What I planned to do." Lupe replied. "Get my revenge." Lupe said and Sands heard the cock of a gun. He heard Charlie struggle harder but to no avail. "You killed my daughter. I'm going to kill your doctor, no matter what she means to you. It's at least the end of you getting your sight back."

Sands froze but tried to act cool. "You wouldn't. I know your type, Lupe. You're trying to act like a bad ass mob boss but you're just not. You couldn't kill someone."

Sands heard a gunshot and a body fall to the floor.

"You do not quite understand this, are you?" Lupe asked. "You killed my daughter. I do not care about anything but revenge anymore."

Sands swallowed. "It's easy to trick a blind man."

"Hmm, I'm sure if she were still alive, she would make some noise, even gagged?" Lupe smirked. "Charlie, dear? Are you alive?"

Sands didn't hear anything until Lupe chuckled.

"Dead as a doornail." Lupe gestured to her henchman and Sands heard her walk out of the room, followed by the sound of a body being dragged. He was let go and the door was closed, leaving him alone in the room.

_They just killed her._

Sands couldn't explain what was going on inside him but he couldn't believe there really could be something in the world that would feel worse than getting the eyes ripped out of his head.

* * *

**Uh oh.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	20. Actions Speak Louder

**Here's Chapter 20!**

Charlie woke up on the floor of a different bedroom and jumped when she saw Lupe sitting on a chair in the corner, looking at the picture frame.

"You know she graduated the top of her class? So much potential."

Charlie looked around. "What's going on? Where's Sands?"

"Why do you care about a murderer?" Lupe asked, putting the frame down.

Charlie couldn't answer that question without incurring Lupe's anger. "You fell in love with Barillo and he murdered people."

"So you love Sands?"

"No."

"I did not know Barillo was the man he was when I married him. I was young and naïve. But you, you know the horrible things Agent Sands has done and yet, you still let him be in your life. Why?"

"I guess I'm not that good of a person either." Charlie replied instead of pointing out that Ajedrez and Sands were in a kill or be killed situation with each other.

"You are a doctor. You heal them."

"If you find what Sands does so deplorable then why stoop to his level?"

"Well, I haven't yet. You are still alive."

"I am. But I'm guessing by your little show while your men were drugging me, Sands doesn't know that."

"No, he thinks you are dead. Now he knows my pain."

"No, he doesn't." Charlie said. "He never will because there is nothing compared to your pain. Sands hasn't lost a child. He lost a woman he occasionally makes out with."

"You think that is all you are to him?"

"Yes."

"Then you are a fool. You may not love him but his feelings for you…"

"Are definitely not love. Lust, yes. Love, no."

"You did not see the way he looked when he heard that gunshot."

"Shock. Anyone would be."

"Not a man who kills for a living."

"He's not an assassin. He's a CIA agent."

"I don't see the difference when I can visit the grave of my daughter."

Charlie sighed. She didn't have anything to say to that. "If you want to get revenge, why didn't you actually kill me?"

"You didn't do anything to me."

"But you want to hurt Sands. You made him think you killed me."

"He will still feel what he would have if I really did kill you. I want him to feel that pain before I kill him."

"And then what are you going to do to me?"

Lupe sighed. "I do not know. I was going to kill you. But…You seem too sad to kill."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"The way you spoke in the attic, it stopped me. You don't hold a very high opinion of yourself."

"So I'm too pathetic to kill? Great…"

"I cannot imagine the people you've been surrounded with that you would think this way of yourself. Your parents…"

"Let's not psychoanalyse my life, please. As if things couldn't get bad enough…"

"A doctor with a successful career in the CIA is not satisfied with herself?"

"I'm very satisfied with my career. It's the one thing I like dealing with."

"What about before your career?"

"I pretty much just like to focus on the career."

"Were your parents that bad?"

Charlie sighed. "My parents were divorced before I was born, my mother married any man with his own bank account before divorcing him and taking everything in that bank account and my father has been absent most of my life because he's the CEO of a huge company but mainly because he's always in and out of rehab. I have two older siblings, a half-brother and a half-sister who I speak to mostly over the phone about twice a year, I don't have time for friends, I was with one guy for ten years and I can't remember the last time I genuinely felt anything for him that wasn't routine so I broke up with him recently and I wasn't even finished with him when Sands came along and started up his tricks with me so yeah, I prefer to focus on my career."

Lupe nodded, having listened to her outburst. "That must have left a lot of loneliness in your life."

"It did."

"But I bet your parents are proud of you now."

"My mother does like that she can ask me for prescriptions. But then just gets annoyed with me when I say no. That's pretty much the extent of our relationship now. Unless she needs me to be a bridesmaid again."

Lupe looked disapproving. "That is not the right way for a mother to act. She should be calling you every day telling you how proud she is. I always wished Ajedrez was more…feminine in her choice of career but I could not have been prouder when she passed into being an agent for the AFN. I only wish she had not…Well; there is nothing I can say about it now that would do any good."

Charlie looked at Lupe sympathetically. She seemed like she had been a good mother if the pictures of her and Ajedrez were anything to go by, not to mention her demeanour with Charlie right now.

"My mother wanted me to be a dancer." Charlie said.

Lupe looked at her. "A dancer?"

Charlie nodded.

"But you were not interested?"

"No, I was. I went to every rehearsal, practised whenever I wasn't studying. My days were very routine; school, homework, dance class, study, read. I did that every day."

"No socialising with friends?"

"No."

"But one of the reasons hobbies exist is to make friends."

"It wasn't a hobby. It was something I needed to learn. It's actually not unusual for gifted children to do things like dancing or writing or learning foreign languages. I was actually quite good. I wanted her to be proud of me, you see and I have this nasty habit of having to be the best at everything. But I began to notice that recital after recital after recital, there was no one there. Always too busy. So I gave up."

"That does not sound like the driven person you have just made yourself out to be."

"I couldn't stand being disappointed anymore. I wanted to be a doctor and dancing took time away from achieving that so if I was doing it for my mother and she didn't even seem to care, I wasn't going to do it anymore."

"But from what I hear of you, you're a genius."

"That doesn't mean I don't have to work hard. I couldn't wake up one morning and decide to want to know every fibre of the human body, read a book and know it. I work hard and I succeed because I'm driven and goal orientated. I wasn't doing that when I was spending all my time dancing."

"Hmmm, if you had stuck with the dancing, you might not be here now. I do not think Sands is the type to go see The Nutcracker."

"I wouldn't be doing what I really love though. I did love dancing but my life is about being a doctor."

Lupe didn't realise it but Charlie's plan of building a connection with her so Lupe couldn't want to kill her seemed to be working like a charm.

"I was wondering…" Charlie began.

Lupe looked at her suspiciously. "What?"

"It's just…My wrist is killing me. Could I get some ice for it? Please?"

Lupe looked at her for a few seconds before getting up. "I'll have some sent to you."

"Thank you."

She nodded and left the room and Charlie waited.

_Sands thinks I'm dead. I wonder how that's going down._

After a few minutes, Lupe opened the door and one of the henchmen came in, holding an ice pack.

"Thank you." Charlie said, taking it and placing it on her wrist. "Do you think I could, maybe, go to the bathroom too?"

"Now you're getting too comfortable." Lupe said.

"You can gag me to make sure I don't make noise and let Sands know I'm alive. I just really need to go."

Lupe sighed and spoke in Spanish to henchman as Charlie stood up. He grabbed her as Lupe left. "You make noise, you really do die."

"Got it." Charlie nodded. They walked to the bathroom and he shoved her in.

"You do realise I'm right outside?" The henchman said. "You make noise to alert your boyfriend and I'll kill you."

"I get it." Charlie said. "I talk, I die. You know, I don't even know where he is. He could be right next door and be hearing me talk right now."

"We're not stupid. We wouldn't put you next to each other. He's upstairs."

Charlie nodded, trying not to smile. "Right. Well, I'll try not to hit the ceiling too much."

The henchman closed the door and Charlie looked down at her icepack before rushing over to quietly get the nail polish remover she saw a while ago and the bleach.

_Just a few more hours and I am getting out of here._

* * *

"How are you feeling?"

"Still alive so better than her."

Lupe looked at Sands who didn't seem too upset. She knew better though, his voice wouldn't give him away but his body language certainly did.

"So you're relieved I killed her over you?"

"I don't think it means you're not going to be killing me so no, not very."

"You seemed quite…distraught when it happened."

"Not really. More surprised."

"Your constant finger tapping on my bedside cabinet would suggest otherwise."

Sands stopped it immediately. "Besides my blood, I don't know what you want from me. Are you hoping I confess my undying love for someone who is now dead?"

"It might redeem you slightly. Not enough to keep alive but the fact that you might care enough to hurt over her death because of you could make me see that you are not a soulless monster. Or should I say, you admitting it because we both know you are feeling what I have done."

"Do we?"

"You are not being a smart mouth anymore. You no longer have the arrogant demeanour. You are simply answering questions, trying to get rid of me."

Sands' jaw tensed.

"Go on," Lupe prodded. "Admit it."

"There's nothing to admit."

"I am not like her, Agent Sands. She was certainly a smart girl but she was naïve."

"Believe me, naïve wasn't a word I'd use to describe her. She was quite capable of getting the upper hand."

"Maybe but she never saw that you did feel for her. She never could because you kept telling her otherwise."

"I told her the truth."

Sands realised then that the truth was left back in her apartment.

Lupe smirked, seeing the expression on his face. "You don't look very uncaring now."

Sands quickly regained his composure. "So, when am I meeting my maker?"

Lupe stood up. "After I see that emotion a few more times."

She left the room and Sands sagged.

_Damn woman is even ruining my murder…_

_I suppose it's only fair. I did cause hers._

Sands huffed.

_They need to shoot me soon so I can stop feeling like this._

Sands lay on the bed for a while being annoyed by his own thoughts when he heard the door open.

Sands tried to act casual. "Am I being killed yet?"

"Not unless I do it out of annoyance."

Sands frowned and sat up quickly; ignoring the pain it caused his abdomen. "Charlie?"

Charlie came over the bed quickly. "Come on."

"What the fuck are you doing here? How are you even alive?"

"Lupe didn't kill me, obviously. She just drugged me then fired a gun." Charlie explained. "Now come on, we need to go."

"How are you out?"

"I snuck out. We need to leave. Quickly."

"How did you get out?" Sands asked as he stood up.

"I just gave them a taste of their own medicine."

Sands frowned.

"More specifically, bleach, acetone and ice."

Sands smirked, having made that concoction quite a few times himself. "You made your own chloroform."

"Yes, I did. Now we need to leave before it's spotted that I'm gone and my bodyguard is passed out on a bathroom floor."

Charlie tried to lead him out of the room but Sands pulled her back and Charlie was surprised when he pressed his lips against hers, almost desperately.

"Well, as good a hello as that was," Charlie said, a little out of breath, when they parted. "I don't think you understand that we need to leave very quickly."

"No. I'm not going anywhere with you."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Listen sugar, if I had been on my own, I'd probably be back in the States by now." Sands said. "But every step of the way, there's been a block. You. Now you go your way and I can go mine."

Charlie didn't understand. "Wait, you're not coming with me to get out of here right now because you think I'll mess this up?"

"Wow, you are smart." Sands said sarcastically. "Try and use that to not get caught this time. Now go on, go."

Charlie shook her head. "Sands…"

"Charlie, do yourself and favour and get out."

"Are you…trying to save me?" Charlie asked, realising what he might be doing. "Is that what this is?"

"Why would I try to do that?"

"Why wouldn't you come with me to get out of here? They're not checking up on me as much as they are you because I'm guarded and Lupe trusts me more than she should. I'd get away faster on my own."

"So what's stopping you?"

"You are. I'm not leaving here without you."

"You were going to a while ago."

"I thought you had a plan to save yourself. I was trying to make it easier for you."

"And you ended up getting yourself killed. In a way. Which leads me to believe your plans don't work. I don't want to be part of them."

"You…Were you upset when you thought I died?"

"You would think but I'm more upset that you're back to annoy me."

"Sands, just come with me."

"Why do you need me? Just get the fuck out."

"Not without you."

"What the fuck is wrong with you? I don't care about you, why the fuck do you care about me? I would leave you to die here. If you're not going to leave, then I'm going and you will die here. I don't care about your safety."

"No, I don't believe that. Look at you, you're desperate to try and get me out of here. If you would just admit it like you were going to."

"I was never going to admit anything."

"Back in my apartment…"

Sands huffed. "Would you get off that already?"

"No! You never tell the truth and you were about to. We both know it."

Sands was silent for a second. "You want to know the truth? Really? Fine. The truth is I wasn't going to tell you a fucking thing then."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"The truth is, I was going to lie my ass off to get what I wanted. Hey, you're good at remembering things, do you remember that the only reason I brought up talking about us was because your phone was ringing?"

"It was?"

Sands nodded. "Oh yeah. And it wasn't the first time it had happened either. I just kept intercepting calls. And I did that because I knew there was only one person annoying enough to keep pestering you."

Charlie stayed silent, knowing too.

"I had worked hard enough to get rid of him and I wasn't letting him back in when I was so close to getting what I wanted. If I had to lie and make you think that I wanted more than just sex, even to just keep him away from you until I could get you into bed, I was going to. After I was done, you could have done whatever the fuck you wanted."

To say that Charlie felt like a complete fool would have been an understatement.

"And if I could get out of here and save my own life," Sands continued. "I wouldn't even have to think about leaving you here."

He waited to hear Charlie leave but he instead heard her speak. "Well, I guess that's where we differ then. Come on."

He frowned. "What?"

"What do you mean what? You're blind, not deaf."

"I just said all that and you're not running out of here to leave me?"

"You might not be familiar with this concept but I am not a heartless prick. I couldn't live with myself if I left you here to die."

"Charlie, just get the fuck out."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Why the fuck do you still want to help me?"

"That's something I really would like to know too."

Charlie turned quickly to see Lupe at the door.

_Damnit._

"You know," Lupe said, walking further into the room. "I thought you were better than this, Charlie. I thought you understood my point of view. Yet you still want to help him? You do know there are other men in the world? Ones who do not murder and deceive and who would betray you in a flash."

"I can't let you do this, Lupe. You're not a killer."

"So you're doing this to save me?" Lupe asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm doing this so no one has to die. You know too many people have already."

"Because of him!" Lupe shouted, pointing at Sands. "He is at fault for everything that has happened! Everything! My daughter! My ex-husband! The entire fucking country! It is all his fault! One man has caused so much death and destruction and you still want to help him? Well, then you are as bad as him." Lupe nodded. "I know what I need to do with you now."

"You do realise she wasn't there for all that?" Sands cut in. "She doesn't really alter my decisions. I still would have done all that without her around so what's the point in killing her?"

"You could do no harm if I killed you right now." Lupe said. "But she could if she let you go."

"What if I promised to be very good from now on? No killing anyone till I called you and see if they deserved it by your standards?"

Lupe smirked at him. "Even in the face of such danger are you completely intolerable."

"It's a gift."

Lupe looked back at her henchman. "Take them."

Charlie and Sands weren't the only ones frowning. Lupe's henchmen were confused too.

"You are not killing them?"

"Take them to the basement." Lupe said, walking out of the room.

Sands and Charlie were grabbed and dragged down to the basement.

"What was that?" Charlie asked when they were alone. "Why didn't she kill us?"

"Isn't it obvious by now?" Sands replied. "Lupe is having a little struggle with her own conscience. She's not killing us yet because she can't."

"You mean she is stalling so she can come to terms with what she's about to do? That's crazy."

"It's crazy for someone who's never killed someone to balk at the thought of killing someone?"

Charlie frowned. "No but she has seemed pretty gun ho up until now. I mean, the whole kidnapping and ordering everything that's happened to us so far."

"She didn't do any of that herself. It's easy to get other people to do bad things. Murder at your own hands is different to telling people to murder someone else. Ask Charles Manson."

Charlie grimaced. "So now she's having second thoughts?"

"Haven't you heard a word she's been saying? She's been calling me deplorable over and over again because I kill people and now her hypocrisy is finally striking a chord. She finds killing bad but she wants to kill us so what's a girl to do?"

"Get her henchmen to do it like she has been doing?"

"But she wants to do it herself. She just has to strap on a pair first. Now she's thrown us down here so any plans we might have had went out the window. Speaking of, any around here?"

"No."

"Anything we can use?"

Charlie smirked. "You really underestimate me, don't you?"

Sands frowned. "What?"

She reached into her top where she pulled out a small pill bottle she had taken from the bathroom and stuffed in her bra. Which now had her key weapon in it. "What was I going to do? Just leave all that chloroform lying around?"

Sands smirked. "Are you telling me that you smuggle too?"

Charlie smiled. "I'm almost as bad as you."

* * *

The door opened and a henchman walked through, looking down at Charlie on the floor.

"Where is he?"

Charlie waved her hand towards Sands' unconscious body on the floor by the wall. "Passed out. Blood loss."

The henchman grunted. "Pansy."

Charlie looked up at him. "So, what's happening today?"

The henchman looked from Sands to her and smirked. She was actually quite attractive. "Why? Any ideas?"

Charlie chuckled. "You have got to be kidding me."

"You only like blind men?"

"I've been stuck down here forever, I've gone past choosy."

The henchman walked closer to her. "So my day is going to get better, si?"

Charlie stood up. "Oh, you wish. I don't want to wake our little friend over there." She pointed to Sands.

The henchman shrugged. "I can be quiet. Or I can make you scream."

"Ugh, now you sound like our little friend."

"Well then, I seem to be what you like."

The henchman was close to Charlie now. "How do you know what I like?"

"You going to let me learn, senorita?"

Just before he leaned into her, his mouth was covered by the man who thought he was asleep. He fell to the ground as Sands drugged him. The henchman stopped struggling and Sands let out a huff.

"Are you sure this stuff isn't lethal?" Sands asked. "Smells lethal."

"I had to improvise." Charlie shrugged. "Could be. I can't believe you were right. He actually fell for that."

"Told you. He's been creeping onto you ever since America. On, by the way, 'you wish'?" He asked Charlie. "You wish? Seducing must be the easiest thing in the world and you still manage to suck at it."

Charlie huffed. "I was playing hard to get."

"We don't have time for hard to get!"

"Then why are we standing here arguing over a tactic that let me remind you, actually worked and not getting the hell out of here?"

"Get his gun."

Charlie crouched down and took the gun out of the holster on the body. She handed it to Sands.

"And any money he has on him."

Charlie searched him for a wallet, finding not only that but also a small knife which she gave to Sands too.

"Did you unbutton the top of your blouse like I told you to?" Sands smirked as she searched the wallet and he hide the gun.

"No." Charlie said, before buttoning up her top.

Sands kept his smirk. "Sure, sugar. How much money does he have?"

"A couple of hundred."

"Huh, Lupe pays well. Come on, let's get out of here."

"Here."

Sands felt Charlie throw two things at him and he realised they were shoes.

"Oh, those would be handy." Sands put them on quickly.

"Do they fit?"

"A bit big but I'll manage."

Charlie went to Sands to help him out of there but he frowned. "I'm fine."

Sands was not fine, that was plain to see. But at least his pride was still intact.

"I need to lead you out of here because you're blind. It's easier this way." Charlie said, quickly making up an excuse.

Sands stopped for a second. "Well if it's easier for you..."

Charlie shook her head and began helping Sands out of the basement. She looked around for anyone that might spot them but the halls were empty. She quickly led him through the halls.

"Where are we?"

"Shh." Charlie reprimanded, trying to find her way out. She turned a corner but stopped when they both heard footsteps.

"Shit." She muttered before turning around.

"Now, where are we going?" Sands whispered.

"Shh!"

Sands felt himself get thrown into a room and Charlie got in too, closing the door behind her. They were squashed together.

"Where are we or are you going to shush me again?"

"Well judging by the size of this place, I can't believe you didn't assume the garden." She whispered sarcastically. "We're in the closet."

Sands nodded before frowning. "How did you know this room was a closet?"

"The door was open when we passed it." Charlie explained. "And did I mention, shh?"

Sands quietened down and they both listened to the people speaking rapid Spanish. Charlie tried to keep up with the conversation but her Spanish wasn't as good as it could be. She looked up at Sands and saw he was having no problem with following.

_I need to learn better Spanish._

_I didn't know I'd be in Mexico so much._

The voices died away as they walked further down the hall and Sands and Charlie let out a sigh of relief.

"We need to leave. Quickly." Sands said. "Come on."

Charlie opened the door slowly and looked out but she quickly pushed Sands back and closed the door quietly when she saw the backs of the two men. Luckily, she didn't think they had seen her.

"What are you doing?"

"Shh! They're still out there."

Sands huffed. "Would you stop telling me to shush? And don't say shh!"

Charlie sighed. "What the hell are we going to do?"

"We're going to get out of here and back to America."

Charlie looked up at him. "You sound awfully positive."

"I am. I've gotten out of shit like this before and I'm going to do it again, it's just time you're going to be involved in the during, not the after."

Sands had been talking distractedly, trying to pay attention to what was happening on the other side of the door. But his attention was firmly on their side of the door when Charlie reached up and kissed him. The two men outside could have been shooting the door down but Sands was too engrossed in the kiss to care. When Charlie pulled away, he frowned.

"What was that for?"

"Shh!" Charlie said, listening. "I think they're gone."

She opened the door and looked out. "Yeah, they're gone. Come on."

She took Sands' arm and led him out and back down the halls.

"Are we nearly out of here?" Sands asked after what felt like way too long to stay confident about getting out without getting caught.

"Yes, we are."

"You found the front door?"

"We're not going out the front door."

Sands frowned. "Charlie, go out the front door."

"Excuse me; I don't want to get caught." He heard her open a door and pushed him in. "Ah, found it."

"Found what?"

"The garage." Charlie brought him over to a jeep and threw him in.

"I'll be back in a second."

Sands grabbed her arm as she was about to leave.

"And where the fuck are you going?"

"Cars don't go without keys."

"Hotwire it."

"I don't know how."

"I thought you were supposed to be a genius?"

"And if I had ever read up on how to hotwire a car, I'd know how. I hotwire people, not machines."

"I can hotwire a car."

"You can't see."

"I'll tell you how."

Charlie huffed. "Fine. How?"

"Okay, look under steering wheel. Is there a cover?"

"Yeah."

"Take it off. Use this." Sands took out the knife he had taken from the henchman. Charlie unscrewed the access cover.

"Okay, now what?"

"Can you get to the wires behind the ignition?"

"Yeah."

"Look for the two wires that are the same."

"Red?"

"Those are the ones. Strip them and twist them around each other. How you doing?"

"Fine. I'm good with my hands."

Sands chuckled. "I've noticed, sugar."

"I meant in surgical terms but alright. Now what?"

"Strip an inch of the insulation from the wires. Twist those together too. Tightly. Be careful."

Charlie did so. "Okay."

"Can you see a brown wire?"

Charlie looked for it. "Found it. What is it?"

"The ignition wire. Tear it apart about half an inch and connect the end of it to the twisted red wires. Boy, I'd love to see all these fucking colours again."

Charlie sighed. "Usually I would love to sit with you and talk about your feelings but we have a huge fucking problem here. Tell me what to do."

"What do you mean? When you touch those wires together, the car should start."

Charlie frowned. "It's not."

"I'm blind, not deaf, I know it's not. Keep trying."

Charlie kept trying but it still wasn't working. "Maybe I did something wrong."

"Did you do what I told you to?"

"Yes."

"Then you didn't do anything wrong."

"Did you forget anything?"

"No. I've hotwired enough cars. I could do it with my eyes closed. Hmm, maybe I should have done it myself."

"Sands!"

"Just keep trying."

"I am trying..." Charlie froze when she heard voices. "People are coming."

"Get it to work! Now!" Sands said quickly. "Start the car!"

"I'm trying!"

"Start the fucking car!"

"Alright!" She touched the wires again and the car's engines roared. "Thank God."

She got up into the driver's seat and was about to back the car out when the garage door opened and Charlie saw a man who promptly started to get out his gun. "Shit."

Sands frowned. "What?"

Charlie didn't need to answer as the shooting started.

"Go!" Sands shouted

Charlie backed the jeep up and ran the guy over.

"Do not stop." Sands instructed, knowing killing a man would probably mean more to her than it would to him. "Keep driving, no matter what."

Charlie nodded and sped off, as more shooters realised and started shooting at them.

"Actually, if you can, run more of them over." Sands said and Charlie couldn't believe she actually did whenever any of the guys got in her way.

Soon, they were out of the compound and driving though where to, Charlie had no idea.

"Oh my God, I can't believe I just killed like five people." Charlie stammered breathlessly.

"You get used to it." Sands shrugged. "I would think as a doctor, you would know that."

"I heal people, I don't kill them!"

"No one's ever died on your table?"

"Not because I tried to murder them!"

"Look sugar, it was us or them. Survival is not murder."

"Is that what you tell yourself?"

"I don't have to tell myself anything." Sands replied before they descended into silence for a while. Sands broke it. "So what was that kiss about?"

Charlie looked at him. "What kiss?"

"You know exactly what kiss I mean. The one in the closet. The one where you should have been worrying about dying but you were too busy sticking your tongue down my throat."

"Charming." Charlie grimaced before sighing. "I don't know. I liked what you said."

"You never kiss me. I kiss you."

"Well in Mexico, I kiss you."

"Oh," Sands nodded. "Want to move to Mexico?"

"Let me clarify, in Mexico, with adrenaline pumping because our lives are in danger and I'm actually a factor in your thinking like you might actually give a damn about me, I kiss you."

"That's...complicated."

"I thought you would have figured out by now, I'm complicated. You're complicated. Your complicatedness plus my complicatedness equals fucked up situations like this."

"Oh please, this is a walk in the park compared to some of the stuff I've had to get out of."

Charlie shook her head. "Then maybe it's a good thing we're not together. I don't know if I could live with this all the time."

"It wouldn't be you doing it all the time. I'm the agent."

"And I'd be spending my life waiting and hoping for that agent to come home. So yeah, don't care about me."

Sands didn't say it out loud but he was pretty sure it was too late to make that promise.

* * *

"Sands, wake up."

"We're ditching the jeep."

Sands frowned. "What? Why are we doing that?"

"I passed a motel a while ago so I turned around."

"Why would you do that?" Sands frowned.

"Because we're being looked for in this jeep." Charlie explained. "We're going to ditch it here where it's hidden and we're going to walk to the motel. That way, if they find the jeep they won't find us or they won't know to find us in the motel because they haven't the jeep. We can call the CIA from the motel and they can be here by the morning at least."

Sands thought about it and nodded. "Okay, let's go."

Charlie got out of the car and was about to help Sands but he refused. "No, I'm fine."

"You're shot. You're not fine."

"Mac, don't coddle me. I can walk."

Charlie huffed. "Fine."

They began to walk and Charlie felt Sands take her hand.

"I'm still blind, sugar."

"I thought you didn't need help?"

"Not with the gunshot. I still can't see where I'm going."

Charlie led him what Sands began to realise as he became more breathless was a very steep hill. "Where are we? At the bottom of a canyon?"

"I had to hide the jeep, key word being hide. They won't look down there. Now would you stop fucking complaining? I'm the one in a torn skirt and no shoes and you're the one bitching about horrible conditions."

They kept walking and Sands soon felt raindrops hit him.

"Only when I'm walking out here would it rain in Mexico. I hate this fucking country."

"It's not the country." Charlie replied. "It's you. If you had just done your job instead of going off to do your own dirty dealing then you would have been fine."

"I did my job. I did everything I had to."

"Not Ajedrez."

"I should be annoyed but in all fairness, that was a good one."

"Thank you."

"I can still hear jealousy in your voice though." Sands said smugly.

"Oh yes, I am green at the thought that I didn't get the chance to rip your eyes out first."

"Are we near that damn hotel yet?" Sands asked, not feeling smug anymore.

"Nearly. I can see it from here."

"Lucky you."

They kept walking and eventually got to the motel. They walked into the reception and Sands began speaking Spanish to the man in the desk. The man handed over a key and Sands took out the wallet, handing it to Charlie so she could pay. She handed over the money and Sands took the key. They left and walked to the room, getting out of the rain quickly.

"Great." Charlie said sarcastically as they got inside and were instantly greeted with the sound of the people next door obviously enjoying themselves.

"That could be us, sugar." Sands smirked as he sat at the bottom of the bed.

Charlie grimaced. "What a way to entice me."

"Well, nothing else has worked." Sands shrugged.

Sands frowned but smiled quickly when Charlie got on her knees in front of him. "Oh yes."

"No!" She said quickly. "I'm checking your wound."

"Oh."

Charlie pulled away her crude bandaging and inspected it. "It's doing a lot better than I expected."

"I'm a quick healer."

"So it seems." Charlie stood up. "I'm going to go to reception and ask if they have any bandages."

"Vendajes." Sands instructed.

Charlie smirked down at him. "I know that."

"Just in case, sugar." Sands smirked up at her. Charlie couldn't help but a hint of a smile radiating out from the usual smirk though and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Okay." Charlie left the room and Sands was left by himself. Well himself and the people next door.

_I wonder will I ever actually get her like that._

_After this? I'll be lucky if I'm allowed in the same room as her ever again without her being protected by bodyguards. The CIA is going to kill for me for this._

_Why? It's not my fault._

_Yeah, it is. My escapades just nearly lost them their most valuable doctor. The next time I'm anywhere near her will be the surgery. If I'm lucky._

_It's not just the CIA that were worried about her though, was it? _

_If anything happened to her..._

Sands didn't continue his thoughts. He couldn't. It was getting increasingly harder to admit to himself that he felt nothing but lust for her and he didn't want to help it become harder.

The door opened and Charlie walked back in. "I did a lot better than I thought. Got a whole first aid kit and even some painkillers. No need to thank me. Oh good. It seems our neighbours have finally gone to sleep."

Sands hadn't even realised, having tuned them out. "Oh...right...yeah."

Charlie frowned. "Sands?"

"Sorry, thinking."

Charlie nodded. "Huh, I thought I would have walked in on you on the phone to the CIA."

"Oh...I don't know where the phone is." Sands said, lying about the fact that he'd just gotten distracted by thinking about her to call the people who could save their lives.

Charlie nodded. "I'll call them when I'm done here. It'll probably be easier for you if you lie back."

Sands lay back on the bed and Charlie sat beside him. Sands felt her hands on him and was really trying to think about something else.

Charlie cleaned the wound and wrapped the bandages around him tightly and as she was wrapping them around his back, realised how close their faces were. When she was finished bandaging him up, she should have got up and away from him but she didn't.

"Here, take these."

Sands felt her place two pills into his hand. "Oh, my new best friends."

He took them and felt like the effects couldn't take fast enough. "Could I get more than two?"

"No. If you want to relieve your pain, you'll have to think of something else to do…"

Sands pressed his lips against hers and Charlie didn't pull away. Sands pulled her closer to him and brought her to lie on the bed as he carefully laid his upper body on top of hers. He felt Charlie's hand caressing his cheek as the passionate kiss continued.

"Sands..." Charlie breathed as his lips made their way to his neck. "Your wound."

"I'm fine."

"I don't think you are."

Sands pulled away. "Seriously, after everything we just went through, you're still turning me down? After everything we're still going through. This isn't over, Mac. We're not out of the woods yet."

"That's why it's best to keep a clear head."

"My head is very clear. I know what I want. What we both want."

"Even if it was…"

"It is. I know that much. I know you well enough by now."

"Even if it was," Charlie repeated. "Now is definitely not the time."

Sands huffed and got up off the bed. "That's it. I'm done. I'm fucking done."

"Sure you are."

"No, I'm serious." Sands said. "I thought that maybe, just maybe, there was a way to find a part of you that wasn't completely pathetic. But you know what? Meeting you the way you were in Mexico must have been a fucking fluke because you have done nothing but bitch and whine and make excuses and I can't take it anymore. Congratulations, Mac. You won. I officially don't want to have anymore to do with you. Banging you at this point would be charity and you know what, sugar? I frankly don't give a fuck anymore. Go on, live your life, do your surgery, get notoriety and fuck off out of my life the same way I'm going to do to yours. Do the surgery, let someone else do it. I don't care."

Charlie had to admit, she was a little in shock. He actually seemed to have given up. "So, that's it? You're just done?"

"Yup."

"After everything?"

"Everything is the reason I'm done."

Charlie nodded, trying to see this a good thing. She'd got what she wanted. "Fine. Good."

Sands nodded, staying silent.

Charlie looked at him. "I still want that surgery."

"Fine, whatever. I'll be unconscious anyway."

Charlie nodded, staying silent.

"Wow, that's what I had to do to get you to stop talking? Wish I'd known that all along. But..."

"Shut the fuck up, Sands!" Charlie said, annoyed. "You know what? You don't want anything to do with me, then fine! But don't you dare fucking act like this is all my fault! I never led you on! I was always just your doctor, trying to help you! You're the one who turned this into a power battle! You're the one who chased after me! You're the one who was constantly trying to mould me into your perfect woman because you, you blind fuck, didn't feel you could go out and get one by yourself anymore and I just became your easiest way to get fucked! You never saw anything in me besides a new project when you were bored! I'm so fucking sorry that I didn't have sex with you! Believe it or not, just because most of the women you've dealt with in your life don't respect themselves enough to not fuck whatever they see the minute they see it does not mean I'm a bitch for not doing it! I am a successful doctor for the CIA and I did not get there by banging every guy I saw! I've never been like that and I never will be like that! So fuck you for trying to make me believe that not fucking you is the worst thing that could ever happen to me! Believe me, I'll get over it!"

Sands was silent for a second. "How do you fucking do that?" He shouted.

"Do what?"

"Make me swear to myself that I want nothing to do with you and then in one rant make me want to have sex with you all over again?"

"Fuck you, Sands."

"Right back at ya, sugar."

"Don't call me sugar."

"How's heinous bitch?"

"I can't believe I ever thought I could actually care about you."

"Could? Did."

"Not anymore."

Sands shrugged. "Fine. Like I said, I'm done."

"And then you said you wanted to sleep with me again."

"Just because I want it doesn't mean I'm going to pursue it. For every rant that gets to me in my pants, there's twenty bouts of just sheer ear bleeding I have to put up with. No, thank you."

Charlie felt like an utter fool for ever believing that underneath all the bravado, there could be someone who genuinely cared for her inside Sands. Now she realised. Sex was all he'd wanted.

_Thank God I never slept with him._

_At least now I still have some dignity...I suppose. I still have my job, my pride, everything._

_The only thing I don't have is him._

"Thank you."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Thank you for stopping." Charlie said.

She got up and walked out of the room and Sands stayed still for a few seconds before getting up calmly and walking over to the bed where he felt for the bedside locker. He felt a grasp on something cold and ceramic and realised it was a vase. He threw it into the air slightly, catching it again before turning and throwing it violently. He heard it shatter as well as something else fall to the floor and break. He didn't know what and he didn't care. The only thing he cared about, the only thing he'd ever cared about ever, had just left the room because he couldn't admit that he cared.

* * *

"Okay, I know I'm being annoying and chicken shit about this but…I can't help it! If I let myself go around him, I'm really going to fall for him and I can't let that happen, you know?"

Charlie looked at the old man behind the counter who she was now sitting with behind the counter herself. He didn't speak a word of English, didn't understand a word of what she was saying but just happy for some interaction.

"Si."

"But that's the thing," Charlie went on. "I do care about him. And I really thought he might have cared about me. Sometimes it seems like he really does. But then, then there are times when it seems like he doesn't. Like when he had sex with Waitrose. What was that about? Why would he do that? I don't know."

"Si."

The man offered her some candy he had with him and Charlie took some.

"Gracias."

"De nada."

"I suppose he's right some of the time. I am terrified of ever going against the rules. I've never done it. Not growing up, not in school, college, my job. I've always been too desperate to be perfect or maybe I was just too scared. I don't know. I blame my mother. I've been doing that a lot lately… Anyway, that is definitely one of the reasons I was so hesitant but I don't know if it is anymore. I mean, fuck, everyone at work breaks those stupid little interoffice rules. I think I'm the only one who doesn't. Doesn't that make me more of a fool than the rest? But it's not even that! It's not as easy as it being an interoffice rule. The man is my patient. Well, was. I don't know if he will be after all this. But up until now, he's been my patient and I can't, I absolutely cannot sleep with one of my patients." Charlie sighed. "Except…Isn't he so much more than a patient now? Look at everything we've gone through together. It's so complicated but it could be so simple. What do you think?"

"Si."

"Yeah, great." Charlie stood up. "Okay, I am not going to hide out anymore. I may be a coward about a lot of things around him but I am not going to run away. It's been going on too long. We're going to get to the bottom of this. Thanks for listening Eduardo."

"Si."

Charlie left the little office and walked back to the room. "Sands, we need to talk…"

She frowned when she saw the motel room empty.

"Sands?"

He wasn't in the adjoining bathroom. He just wasn't there.

Charlie walked over to the shattered face on the floor and the clock joining it. "Great…"

She turned when the door opened and Sands walked in.

"Where were you?"

"You're a fucking moron!"

Charlie frowned. "Excuse me?"

She was shocked when Sands walked up to her, grabbing her and kissing her passionately.

"What are you doing?" She asked when he pulled back.

"You were my project? I didn't feel like I could get anyone else? That's what you think?"

"Why else?" Charlie asked. "You said yourself I'm not worth it."

"I'm a fucking liar." Sands said before kissing her again.

"Wait, what?" Charlie asked, pulling back again.

"Fuck it, Charlie. Just think about everything."

"I have been. A lot."

"Then realise that you're not the only one here who's been acting like a fucking coward."

"What are you saying?"

Sands huffed. "I thought you died today and it was the worst fucking feeling in the world. Of course I was trying to fucking get you out of that place quickly today. I fucking hate that I was but I was."

"You're saying fuck an awful lot."

"It's the only way I'm going to get through this. In your apartment, the truth? It was going to be exactly what you wanted to hear, like I said. Only it is the truth."

"Are you…Are you saying you do care about me?"

"More than I really want to fucking admit."

Sands waited for a response. "Sugar?"

"Yeah?"

Sands couldn't help but smirk. "I thought you didn't like sugar?"

"It's grown on me."

Sands kissed her again and pushed her onto the bed, joining her on it himself. Charlie felt him unbutton her blouse and she didn't push his hands away.

"Sugar, if this is going to happen, I'm going to need you do to me a favour." Sands said in between kisses to her neck and collar bone as his hands roamed her newly exposed skin.

Charlie was intrigued. "What?"

"Call me by my actual name."

He was surprised to hear himself say it since he never let anyone call him Sheldon but he wanted to hear it from her.

Charlie opened her eyes, realising where this was going. "Sheldon…"

Sands brought his face close to hers. "Charlie."

Charlie knew it was up to her to make the next move. Whether that was to pull away like always or to kiss him and let this night turn into one she'd been imagining and against her better judgement, wanting for so long, she wasn't sure. She wanted Sands. He could be a pompous ass and act like a pig at times, he was incredibly insensitive when he wanted to be and barely ever showed his feelings. She had to admit though; he could make her laugh when he was being that sarcastic bastard. He also made no apologies for who he was and how he acted, he was just Sands and she liked that. There were also those rare times when he was the complete opposite. He could be a good man but only to her, it seemed and without her even realising it, like when he brought her to the hospital or stayed with her when she was drunk in Florida and made sure she was okay. Sands was the hardest man to figure out that she'd ever met but that was what enticed her. Now here he was, waiting for her to act upon what they'd both wanted and what she'd resisted for so long. Would she kiss him or would she pull away and save every other aspect of her life that she was endangering by being with him? What was he to her tonight?

Sands or Sheldon?

* * *

**Ooh, developments! I'm still trying to work out some kinks (ratings changes and such) so bear with me! =P**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	21. Questions

**Here's Chapter 21!**

_One Week Later…_

Trevor was working in his office when the phone rang.

"Trevor Hartford."

"Hartford, it's Crowley. You need to get down to the hospital."

Trevor frowned. "Why?"

"We found Sands and Macintosh."

* * *

"Where are they?" Trevor asked, rushing up to his colleague who talking to a doctor.

"They're fine for the most part." The doctor replied. "Doctor Macintosh is mainly just battered and bruised; we're just holding her to be careful, especially with her wrist. Agent Sands, well he's in worse shape but not too much worse. They're quite lucky considering what they went through, especially Agent Sands. That gunshot wound should have been seen in a hospital weeks ago."

"Gunshot wound?" Trevor frowned. "What? When did that happen? Where have they been?"

"Mexico." Crowley answered.

"Mexico? How the hell did they get there?"

"We don't know yet."

"Sands got shot there?"

"No, before." Crowley replied. "He told the doctors that Macintosh took care of it before they were taken and kept looking after it while they tried to get out of Mexico."

"How did they get out of Mexico?" Trevor asked. "We've had people scouring all over the place for them and no sign."

"They came in with some illegal immigrants." Crowley explained. "They were stopped by Border Control and detained for entering the country illegally since they didn't have their passports. That's all I've gotten so far."

"Why didn't Border Control get onto us straight away?"

"Because two people who work for the CIA trying to sneak into their own country with no I.D. or documents to prove it? Would you believe it?"

"But they're obviously American."

"Which is why we have them now."

"Have you seen either of them?"

"Both are still being checked over." The doctor explained. "And after that, I think adequate rest is necessary. Maybe tomorrow once they've gotten some sleep."

"We need to find out what happened." Trevor said. It was true; he needed to find out why Sands and Charlie seemed to be meeting up so much outside of work, at her apartment.

"Neither of them have amnesia." The doctor said. "They'll be able to tell you everything tomorrow."

Trevor huffed. He didn't think either of them would tell him everything he wanted to know. He had some very difficult questions to ask about the two of them. Out of favour, especially for Charlie, Trevor had kept his findings to himself but if what he suspected turned out to be true, he didn't know if he could protect either of their jobs.

Trevor saw a nurse come up and say something to the doctor who then turned to Trevor.

"You're in luck, Agent Hartford. Agent Sands is asking to see you."

Trevor nodded and followed the nurse to Sands' room where they were left in private.

"How are you feeling, Sands?"

"Not good, Trevor, believe it or not. Where the fuck have you been?"

Trevor frowned. "I was out looking for you, you thankless bastard."

"Thankless? Why should I be thanking you? For ignoring every single message I left for you and not coming to Mexico? Again? I mean I thought that fact that Mac was there too would have at least got your ass moving but no…"

"Wait, shut up. What messages?"

Sands frowned. "The messages we left every time we called you when we got to a phone. Why the fuck were you never in your office?"

"I was busy working to get you back! And I never got any messages."

"Trevor, I called you I don't know how many times and got fuck all for my trouble."

Trevor walked to the end of the bed. "What happened?"

"Got taken."

"By who?"

"Remember the bitch who ripped my eyes out? Her mother."

"Always one with the ladies."

If Sands could have looked at Trevor tiredly, he would have. "The bitch hired an army of henchmen to get us."

"And shoot you."

"I shot him back."

"Well done. Keep going."

"I went to Mac's and she stitched me up."

"Why didn't you go to the hospital?"

"Too many questions."

"Our questions! Why were you trying to avoid those?"

"Because if you found out that I was causing all this trouble, well the higher ups already don't like me, they're just looking for a reason to fire me." Sands lied because he couldn't exactly tell Trevor his real reason for going to Charlie's. "I wasn't taking any chances."

"Only with your life. And as it ended up, hers."

"Better her than me."

"Sands!"

"Where's my dog?" Sands asked.

Trevor frowned. "What?"

"That's why I asked you in here." Sands said. "Why else?"

"Eh, to tell me what happened? Who to look for? Or God forbid, to ask how Macintosh might be doing?"

"I'm assuming she's fine." Sands shrugged. "I've had to be around her for days. I haven't seen my dog in quite a while."

Trevor frowned. "You don't care about her at all?"

"That's news to you?"

"Sands, that woman nearly lost her life trying to help you."

"She's in the CIA. It's risky business."

Now Trevor didn't know what to think. Sands was an asshole but not usually about Charlie. He seemed to downright hate her now. "Did something happen in Mexico?"

"What do you mean? A lot fucking happened in Mexico."

"I meant between you and Charlie."

Sands' jaw tensed. "Nothing happened between me and Mac."

"Is that why you seem to hate her now? Because nothing happened?"

"You know what, I'm quite tired." Sands said sarcastically. "Rough couple of days. It's time you leave now."

"I have a few more questions."

"Ask Mac. I'm sure she'll only be too quick to talk."

"Sands…"

"Get out, Trevor."

Trevor stayed still for a few seconds before leaving the room.

_Maybe I was wrong?_

The next day, Trevor tried to get answers out of a much more helpful source.

"Oh, you're awake."

"I am." Charlie nodded as Trevor walked into her room. "And I'm fine. When can I go home?"

"Whenever the doctor says."

"I'm a doctor."

Trevor smirked. "You're not your doctor. Relax. They'll let you out when they think you're ready. How's the wrist?"

Charlie looked down at her sling. "It's not good."

"But will it be okay?"

"I've been asking the same question. No one will tell me anything but it has to be okay, doesn't it? I mean, I need my wrist."

"I'm sure you'll be fine." Trevor tried to reassure her.

Charlie nodded before biting her lip. "How's Sands?"

"He's doing good. I don't think anything will take that man down."

"Good. That's good. His wound?"

"All stitched and bandaged up. He's going to be fine."

"That's nice to hear for a change. Is he awake?"

"Yeah, he's been awake for a while. I spoke to him last night."

Charlie hesitated. "Did he...ask how I was at all?"

Trevor frowned. "No, Charlie. He's Sands."

He couldn't help but notice Charlie's disappointed expression.

"Charlie, please don't tell me anything happened between you two."

Charlie looked up at him quickly. "Of course not. I just thought...I'm here because of him! I was there because of him! My life for the past few months have revolved exclusively around helping him! And I'm the only person who cared enough to try! No one gave a damn about him but I tried to help! Not just with his eyes, even. I have been trying to help him adjust and get his life back together because of what happened in Mexico! I have always been there when he needed help and he doesn't even consider asking how I'm doing after I nearly died for helping him? I just...I thought I might mean a little more to him after all that."

Trevor placed a hand on her shoulder compassionately. "With Sands, just focus on the eyes. That's all he's doing."

Charlie nodded. "I should have just done that in the first place."

Trevor sighed. "Charlie, I have some difficult questions I need to ask…"

Charlie frowned. "What kinds of difficult questions?"

"Sands was in your apartment when you two got taken."

Charlie nodded. "He came to me when he got shot. I tried to help him."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"He asked me not to. Like I said, I was trying to help him."

"You have to realise this looks suspicious."

Charlie sighed. "Trevor, nothing happened between me and Sands."

"Your neighbours have been telling a different story. Apparently that wasn't the first time he was over at your apartment for nights."

"You've been questioning my neighbours about me?"

"Charlie, I had to. You were lucky it was me doing it and not anyone else."

"It wouldn't matter if it was anyone else because I have nothing to hide! You know what Sands is like, he's tried, I've always said no. I've never slept with Sands or any other agent."

"Not even in Mexico?" Trevor asked, trying to decipher why Sands was so negative about her all of a sudden.

"Not even in Mexico."

"But he tried?" Trevor guessed.

Charlie looked up at him. "What makes you think that?"

"The way he's acting. You wounded his pride, I'm thinking."

"That couldn't have been everything that just happened to us with no help from any of you?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Charlie…"

"Nothing happened between me and Sands, Trevor."

"Why do you sound like you regret that?"

"I don't." Charlie scoffed. "Especially if he's acting like this now. I definitely made the right decision to always turn him down, no matter what he said."

"What did he…" Trevor nodded. "He made it out like he cared about you?"

"Sands only cares about himself. I know that."

Well, something definitely happened in Mexico but now Trevor suspected it was the exact opposite of what he thought.

_So what did happen?_

* * *

Sands heard footsteps walk into his room and huffed.

"I'm fine." Sands said, thinking it was a nurse. "I don't want anything."

"I want an explanation."

Sands froze, realising it was Charlie. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you."

Sands nodded. "Well then, say what you want to say."

Charlie frowned. "What is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? Especially after everything we just went through together."

"How am I acting?"

"Like an asshole."

Sands frowned sarcastically. "Is that new to you? I'm pretty sure you've called me that several times before."

"At least back then you redeemed yourself."

"Not by trying." Sands replied. "Hey sugar, you're the one who calls me a sociopath. Don't get your panties in a bunch because I actually act like one."

"So after everything that happened, everything I went through for and because of you, you're seriously going to act like this?"

"It's not my fault you went to work for the CIA. Shit happens."

Charlie was shocked. "Fuck you, Sands."

She turned to walk out but Sands' voice stopped her. "Bet you're regretting your decision now."

Charlie looked back at him, absolutely disgusted with him for trying to make her feel bad but not wanting to show it. "No."

"You don't think you made the wrong decision?"

Charlie could only put on her confident doctor facade now that he'd pretty much walked all over her by what she now knew was lying to her. "I don't make the wrong decisions."

Sands smirked. "When it comes to people, we all make the wrong decisions, sugar."

"You know, I always thought you were underhanded and sneaky and I never knew if I could fully trust you but I never thought, no matter how much of a prick you are, you'd end up lying to me to get me into bed. That was one thing I trusted you not to do, even if you didn't care about me. So, yeah, you're right. That's what I was wrong about. But that's the only thing. You're not going to make me regret my decisions. Mine, not yours."

Charlie walked out of the room and Sands' smirk dropped.

* * *

"So what happened when you got away from Lupe's?"

Charlie shrugged as she recounted her and Sands' story to Trevor the next day. "We hid out in some motel we found."

"And?"

Charlie huffed. "And nothing. Sleep. We both really needed it."

"I'm sorry Charlie but with all these stories about Sands being around you much more than he should have been, I have to ask."

"I told you the truth yesterday."

"You just told me you both hid out in a motel room, okay, emotions are high, adrenaline is in the picture. All I'm saying…"

"I know what you're saying but Trevor, we got inside, I looked over his wound, we fought, I stormed out, came back and…"

"And what?"

Charlie sighed. "And nothing."

"Nothing happened?"

Charlie looked at him for a few seconds before shaking her head. "No. Look, I'm kinda tired now so could you come back later?"

Trevor nodded and left her hospital room. Charlie laid back and closed her eyes, trying to go to sleep but memories kept her awake as she remembered what really happened that night…

* * *

**Alright guys, here's the deal. This chapter is not over. The end is just somewhere else. Since I still want this story to be visible and that can't happen with an M rating, and some people don't like to read M material, what really happened that night is in a one-shot(might extend it) on my profile. If you want to read the details about Sands and Charlie's night, just go there. If you don't, it won't affect your reading of the next chapter. Oh and if you do review(seriously, thank you if you do!), please review that one shot too! :)**

**Also, don't worry. We're going back to Mexico. The CIA still have a lot of questions about what happened there! ;)**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	22. Answers

**Here's Chapter 22!**

_I am so bored._

Charlie closed the book and huffed, looking around the hospital room. She was waiting for the doctor to come talk to her and hopefully tell her she could come home. She also wanted news on her wrist. If there was even the slightest bit of permanent damage, she could kiss her career goodbye. She'd tried convincing everyone and using all the doctor lingo she had to let the doctors or nurses to show her the x-rays but no one would.

"Can I come in?"

Charlie looked to see Trevor poke his head in the door.

"Please do. I'm so bored."

Trevor chuckled. "Well, I don't know how happy you'll be to see me when you realise that I'm here to continue the questions."

Charlie sighed. "You gotta do what you gotta do."

Trevor nodded. "So where did we leave off?"

"Motel room. Waking up. From sleeping. Just sleeping."

"Right," Trevor nodded. "What happened the next day?"

Charlie thought back…

_"__Time to wake up, sugar…"_

___Charlie woke up to the feel of Sands' lips against her ear and his fingers stroking her arm._

___She smiled, keeping her eyes closed. "Wake up? I just got to sleep."_

___Sands smirked. "Hey, you made me wait long enough. I was enjoying the fruits of my labour. Now, if there's any more of that fruit you're willing to give me…"_

___Charlie laughed, opening her eyes. "No, Sheldon...or do you want me to call you Sands again now we're finished?" She smiled._

___Sands brought his head up from his position where he was now kissing her shoulder, and raised an eyebrow at her, smirking. "Are you mocking me, sugar?"_

_"__Of course not, I'm just saying, I'll call you whatever you want me to." She purred._

_"__That's what I like to hear. Besides, we're not finished, we're only taking a little break."_

___Charlie was surprised at his tenacity. "We've been going for hours. I'm starving..."_

_"__So am I."_

_"__For food."_

_"__Oh."_

___Charlie smiled at him. "Any other man would be satisfied and asleep by now but you, Sheldon..."_

_"__Well, I don't think I've gotten enough of you just yet."_

"Charlie?"

Charlie came back to the present and looked at Trevor. "Sorry, was just thinking back."

"So what happened?"

"We just got food, the first real food we had in days…"

"Why not eat the night before?"

___We were too pre-occupied._

"Too tired. Just needed sleep." Charlie lied. "So we ate breakfast…"

"And?"

_"__Sugar, I'm blind, not deaf. Maybe take your time with your food and don't choke?"_

___Charlie looked at him smirking at her and couldn't help but smirk back. "I'm hungry, Sands so I'm not gonna waste my time thinking of something more eloquent than 'Screw you.'"_

___The next thing she knew, Sands grabbed her arm and pulled her onto his lap. He felt her bare legs as she only wore his shirt. "Now that is an excellent idea. Would you do the honours?"_

___Charlie chuckled as Sands kissed her and all thoughts of food went out the window. _

_"__Careful," Charlie said, breaking the kiss for a second. "Your stitches…"_

_"__Are fine. My libido on the other hand? That needs your attention."_

___He kissed her again and scrunched the fabric of the shirt in his hands but before he could take it off, Charlie tore her lips from his._

_"__Oh my God, Trevor!"_

___Sands grimaced. "You're thinking about him? Seriously?"_

_"__We never called him! I completely forgot…"_

_"__Well, at least that's a boost to my manhood."_

___Charlie went to the phone on the nightstand and dialled the number._

_"__I'll talk." Sands said, taking the receiver and flopping back to lie on the bed in defeat. His only consolation was that she was still straddling him. But the sooner he could get onto Trevor and let him know where they were hiding out, the sooner he could get back to Charlie._

_"__Any answer?"_

_"__No."_

_"__Leave a message."_

___Sands raised an eyebrow. "I've used a phone before, sugar."_

_"__Sorry, just eager to get out of here."_

_"__Oh?"_

_"__Well, not here…" Charlie smiled, her fingers grazing down his torso. "You know what I mean."_

_"__Maybe I don't. You'll have to show me what you want and what you don't want, I think."_

_"__Oh from last night, I think you know what I like." She smirked._

___Sands chuckled but quietened when he heard the beep._

_"__Trevor? It's Sands…"_

"We left you a message." Charlie said. "Telling you about Lupe and how we got away and the motel we were at."

"I never got those messages."

Charlie frowned. "How is that possible?"

"I don't know. We're looking into it. So you called me, left a message and…?"

"And then Sands left."

Trevor frowned. "He left?"

Charlie nodded.

"Why would he leave your safe haven?"

_"__Okay, we need to get up."_

___Charlie tried to sit up but Sands pulled her back. "No, no we don't. Until Trevor calls the number we gave him to the motel or someone comes for us, we ain't got nowhere to go so there is absolutely no need to get up or to stop doing what we're doing."_

___Charlie bit her lip. "What exactly are we doing?"_

_"__Isn't that obvious by now?"_

___She smiled. "I meant…Well, is it just sex or... I mean, is this just while we're here in this motel room or…?"_

___Sands didn't reply straight away. He was thinking about her question. Was it wrong to want a relationship with her?_

___Charlie feared she may have said the wrong thing when he didn't answer her._

_"__Sands?" Charlie replied. When he still didn't answer, she shook her head. "You know what, forget it. It doesn't matter."_

_"__I have to go." He said, getting up._

_"__No, Sands. It doesn't matter, forget I asked."_

_"__I just need to make sure no one knows we're here and that no one tells that we're here." He said, getting dressed. When he was done, he stood and turned to her. "I'll back in a while."_

_"__Will you?" Charlie asked, more asking if the Sands she'd spend last night and this morning with would be back or was that gone now._

_"__Yeah, I told you I'm not finished with you yet." He smirked before he got off the bed and left the room._

"He said he needed to make sure no one would know that we were where we were. I assume that meant he went to talk to the guy at reception."

Trevor nodded. "And what did you do?"

"I took a shower." Charlie shrugged. "Needed one."

"What did Sands do when he came back?"

___Charlie was just leaving the bathroom, wrapped in a towel when the door opened and Sands reappeared._

_"__Where did you go?" Charlie asked, trying not to sound awkward. _

_"__Just working on our survival." Sands said before frowning. "Where are you?"_

___Charlie walked over to him and took his hand, leading him further into the room._

_"__What do you mean 'working on our survival'?"_

___Sands felt her skin. "Did you take a shower?"_

_"__Yeah," She replied. "With the Mexican sun, the being captured, the running around and all the…recent activities, I really needed one."_

_"__Ah but you see," Sands brought her close to him. "Those recent activities aren't over yet."_

___Sands was about to kiss her but Charlie pulled back with a frown. "They're not?"_

___Sands raised an eyebrow. "Do you want them to be?"_

_"__It's just…I thought I freaked you out by questioning it."_

_"__You did."_

_"__Oh."_

_"__Look, I've been waiting for you for a long time. But even with that, I wasn't expecting what happened last night to happen last night. I'm not someone who gets thrown and last night…It really threw me."_

_"__You're not the only one."_

_"__I always said it would only be for one night."_

___Charlie nodded. "You did."_

_"__But now, I'm not so sure." Sands said. "I am sure that it was mind blowing but it wasn't enough for me."_

_"__And…About what you said before? Was that the truth?"_

___Sands was still for a second before nodding once._

_"__So outside this motel room…"_

_"__It ain't the motel room," Sands smirked, going to her neck. "It's you, sugar. And I ain't going to stop any of what's been happening lately when we get out of here, the sex or the…other part."_

___Charlie smiled. "The caring part?"_

_"__Yeah, that."_

___Charlie kissed him and Sands wrapped his arms around her._

_"__Hey, sugar," Sands said breaking the kiss. "I know I'm irresistible and all but if you get some hot water then I do too."_

_"__Ah but you see, you can't get your bandages wet."_

_"__Well, feel more than free to come in with me and lather up where you see fit."_

___Charlie chuckled. "I trust you to use a cloth with warm water and to avoid the area."_

_"__Fine." Sands huffed._

_"__Want me to get you a towel?" She asked, leading him over to the bathroom door._

___Sands smirked. "No, I got one."_

___He passed her to go inside and in doing so, grabbed the towel she was wearing, taking it off her._

_"__Sands!"_

_"__I can't see, sugar and even if I could, you've got nothing to hide from me anymore. But," Sands put his hand on the door. "That doesn't mean you get to leer at me." With that, he closed the door._

___Charlie shook her head but couldn't resist smiling._

"He went for a shower." Charlie said. "You'll be pleased to know I didn't follow him in. Do we really need to go over all these details?"

Trevor sighed. "As tedious as it is, I need to know everything. But yeah, I'm going to go get some coffee first."

"Oh, hurry back," Charlie said sarcastically. "You're going to miss the best part. Me sitting on the bed and doing nothing."

"I'll be right back." Trevor said, leaving the room.

Charlie sighed before hearing a new voice.

"You're leaving a lot out there, Mac."

Charlie looked to see Sands standing at the door.

"How long have you been out there?"

"Long enough to know that you either have amnesia or you're being very, very vague about what really went on."

"Or I'm trying to block out the more unpleasant aspects."

"You seemed to enjoy them at the time. You're a good liar Mac, but not that good."

"We can't all be as good as you."

"I've never lied about how I prefer you in Mexico. I've told you that since I met you."

Charlie shook her head. "Look, you don't have to worry about eavesdropping. I'm not saying a thing. You can leave now."

"How am I supposed to know what to tell Trevor that will correspond with your story if I don't hear yours first?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not lying." Charlie said. "I'm just leaving things out. Should be simple enough to do. Go away."

"Mac, a lot went on in Mexico…"

"Like what?"

Sands froze and Charlie's eyes widened when Trevor's voice appeared behind Sands.

Sands stood up from the door frame he was leaning on. "Isn't that why you're asking the questions?" He asked Trevor. "We didn't end up back on American soil and in hospital because we just sat around and you certainly didn't help."

"Get inside." Trevor said and Sands walked into Charlie's hospital room.

"He doesn't need to be here." Charlie said quickly.

"Come on Mac," Sands smirked. "It'll be like old times except you're in the hospital bed and we hate each other a lot more now."

"At least you got the last part right."

"Shut up, the both of you." Trevor said, making Sands sit in the chair by the bed. "Now, you can both answer my questions and only waste half the time."

"No one asked you to question us." Sands said. "We told you who took us, what else do you want?"

"Details. So how long were ye at that motel?"

"Just until the next day." Sands said.

Trevor nodded, waiting for them to elaborate. "Well, go on."

Charlie sighed. "We got some money."

"How?"

___Charlie looked up from where she was sitting cross legged on the bed when Sands walked into the room. _

___"Mac?"_

___"Over here."_

___Sands walked over and Charlie's eyebrows shot up when he dropped a big wad of cash onto the bed._

___"Where did you get that?"_

___"Do you really want to know, sugar?"_

___Charlie hadn't heard any gun shots but still. "No."_

___Sands nodded. "That should be more than enough for how long we plan on sticking around here."_

___"It should be even more than enough."_

___Sands frowned. "Huh?"_

___Charlie took his hand and Sands felt her place her own big wad of peso notes into it._

___"Where did you get this?" Sands asked._

___"Unlike what I'm assuming you did, I went about it legally."_

___"And how did you get this much money legally?"_

___Charlie smiled. "Our very loud neighbours."_

___Sands frowned before realising. He pointed to the wall. "The Humpersons in there?"_

___"Exactly."_

___"What did you do? Offer to videotape them?"_

___Charlie laughed. "No. I saw the guy coming out of the hotel room this morning for ice or food or whatever and I immediately recognised him though I couldn't remember from where. I thought about it and it hit me. The hospital."_

___"Explain."_

___"When I came down here to Mexico. For you. Remember what I used to do in my spare time?"_

___Sands thought about it. "Listened to music, read and watch infomercials in Spanish?"_

___"How did you remember that?" Charlie smiled._

___"I remember a lot of things. Just like you."_

___"Anyway, reading sometimes consisted of trying to read magazines and newspapers to improve my Spanish. And infomercials were also on with the news. Our next door neighbour in there? I remembered him from those. He's a politician. And she's a hooker. Well, when I saw that, I figured our money problems were over..."_

___Sands smirked. "You extorted money out of him, didn't you?"_

___"Pawned him off with some story about journalism and having some photos and recordings. He paid quite handsomely to shut me up. I don't think he even had enough to pay her by the end of it."_

___"Well, I must admit, I am impressed." Sands said. "Although, blackmail is illegal, Mac."_

___"Less illegal than whatever you did, I'm sure."_

___Sands reached down and pressed his lips against hers and Charlie wrapped her arms around his neck, lying back on the bed as he went to lie on top of her._

___"Oh God sugar, please tell me we're about to have sex on a pile of money."_

___Charlie laughed. "Yes, we are."_

___Sands' eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"_

___"Well, if you don't want to..." Charlie smirked._

___Sands grasped her tightly. "Don't even finish that sentence, Mac."_

___"Charlie."_

___Sands tried to smirk but realised a smile could be coming through. "Charlie..."_

Sands smirked. "Unsavoury means."

"Do I want to know?"

"I didn't." Charlie said.

"Because you were much better."

"Shut up, Sands."

"And ye left soon after?" Trevor asked, trying to get back on track.

The two nodded.

"Why?"

_"__Did you take my shirt again?"_

___Charlie smiled as she buttoned up Sands' shirt which she was wearing again. "I'm sorry but this heat is sweltering and at least this doesn't cling to me."_

_"__Hey, I'm not complaining, sugar," Sands smirked from where he was lying in the bed with an arm behind his head. "Keep it. Although if you're feeling very hot, maybe you should just not wear anything."_

___Charlie walked over to him. "I'm sure you'd like that."_

_"__Very much so."_

___Charlie sat on the side of the bed and Sands sat up so he could put his hands on her waist and press his lips against hers. _

_"__I cannot believe that fucktard had you all to himself for ten years."_

___Charlie smiled. "Well you get a lot out of me that he never did."_

___Sands chuckled. "I better have. If a fuckmook like that was habitually getting what I just got out of months of pestering and hard work, then there is no justice in the world."_

___Charlie got up and started looking for her clothes. "Because you're such a stand up member of society. Good karma is always coming your way for all the wonderful things you do."_

_"__Don't believe in karma, sugar." Sands said, getting up too. "We all have the ability to keep the balance ourselves. We don't need some great cosmic mumbo jumbo to do it for us."_

___Charlie shook her head. "I don't doubt you think you have all the power."_

___Sands chuckled and kissed her again. They were going to lie on the bed when the sound of a car pulling into the motel caught their attention. _

___Sands parted the kiss. "Go and look."_

___Charlie got up and walked over to the window where they had the curtains pulled constantly and peeled them back slightly. Sands heard her gasp as she turned back to him._

_"__It's them."_

"We had company." Sands told Trevor.

"So what did ye do?"

"Ran into the bathroom and climbed out the window in there." Charlie said. "Snuck out the back before they could see us."

"And then?"

"We stole a car." Sands added. "I had taught Mac how to hotwire a car the day before and that big ol' brain of hers remembered how to do it."

"We drove, they chased us." Charlie explained. "We got away, nearly scot free."

"Is that the eh…?" Trevor pointed at her arm.

Charlie looked down at the bandage.

_"__Charlie, you need to drive straight!"_

_"__I am trying! In case you haven't noticed, there are shooting at us!"_

_"__I have noticed! Drive straight and tell me where to aim!"_

___Charlie looked at the rear view mirror. "Duck!"_

___Sands ducked down in his place on the backseat and Charlie did the same behind her seat when someone in the car chasing them shot and blew out the back window. Sands stayed down but raised his hand with the stolen gun in it. "Am I aiming straight?"_

_"__Left a bit."_

___Sands moved the gun over a bit. "There?"_

_"__Yes!"_

___Sands shot the gun and was pleased to hear it hit the car if nothing else. At least he was close._

___Sands heard Charlie leave out a scream and the car swerve violently._

___"What happened?"_

___"Bullet skimmed my arm." Charlie shouted. "Fuck!"_

___"Oh yeah, that one's a stinger."_

___"How do people in movies just keep going?"_

___"You get used to it."_

___"No one gets fucking used to this pain!"_

_"__Tell me where to shoot!"_

_"__Alright," Charlie tried to line the car up again. "Point a little lower and to the left again."_

___Sands did so. _

_"__Now, shoot."_

___Sands did so and heard the bullet hit something. "What did I shoot?"_

_"__The tire! Now move over to the right."_

___Sands moved the gun._

_"__Too far."_

___Sands moved it again._

_"__Too far back."_

_"__Charlie!"_

___Charlie turned the wheel slightly so the gun was aiming correctly. "Shoot!"_

___Sands shot the gun and hit the other tire. The car slowed down and Sands realised something._

_"__Drive on a little then stop the car."_

___Charlie frowned. "What?"_

_"__Just do it. Don't turn it off, just stop. They'll shoot but don't start driving again!"_

_"__Are you crazy?"_

_"__Yes but it works. Do it!"_

___Charlie drove on a little and did so._

_"__Now, stay hidden and quiet."_

___Charlie didn't move and Sands waited. Like he said, a few shots hit the exterior of the car but Sands and Charlie stayed low enough down to stay out of the line of fire._

___Just like Sands expected, when there was no firing back and no movement from their car, their attackers got curious and started talking to each other. Sands smirked when he heard footsteps coming towards the car. When he was satisfied with his mapping, he sprang up and shot the guys coming towards the car. He heard a few fall before turning back to Charlie quickly. _

_"__Drive!"_

___Charlie got up quickly and stepped on the gas, speeding off._

_"__Good driving, sugar."_

_"__Good shooting. Nice, albeit risky, plan."_

_"__I told you, crazy works for me."_

Charlie looked up from her bandaged arm to Trevor. "Yeah, that's how that happened."

"It was barely a graze." Sands moaned. "Actual gunshot here."

"Shut up, Sands." Both Charlie and Trevor said.

Sands huffed. "Just like old times."

They were interrupted when the doctor came into the room.

"Oh, should I come back later?"

"No, you're fine." Trevor said, forcing Sands to stand up. "We'll give you a moment."

"Thank you." The doctor said.

Trevor and Sands left the room and the doctor walked over to Charlie.

"Well, I have good news Doctor Macintosh," The doctor said. "You can go home."

Charlie smiled. "That is such good news."

The doctor nodded. "I thought you'd like it."

Charlie saw him looking apprehensive. "There's something else, isn't there?"

"It's about your wrist."

Dread filled her. "What about my wrist?"

"Well, even breaking it can be serious but everything you've gone through when it was already injured, Charlie, I'd be surprised if you weren't fearing the worst."

"Should I be?"

"Charlie…"

Charlie's voice broke. "Is my career over?"

"Rehab could work…"

"Could work? Why won't you show me the x-rays?"

"They wouldn't make you feel better." The doctor confessed.

Charlie shook her head. "My career can't be over. It's just a broken wrist."

"I'm sorry, Charlie."

Charlie couldn't keep the tears away. "Oh my God…"

"Like I said, rehab…"

"Rehab? If the damage is too severe, I can say goodbye to everything with or without rehab!"

The doctor stayed silent as Charlie put her hand over her eyes and continued to cry, not really caring who heard or saw her at the moment. Her job was everything to her and now it was more than likely gone forever. She didn't care how vulnerable she seemed at that moment.

She might have felt differently if she knew the one person she wanted to act strong in front of was standing outside her door and eavesdropping again. And now that he was alone too, he could drop his own façade and want nothing more than to comfort the woman he felt he to give up to save her own life.

___But not her career which practically is her life._

Sands stayed outside her room and listened to the crying he was convinced he was partly to blame for.

___You just ruined her life._

* * *

**Well, nothing's really working out for them, is it? **

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	23. Addiction

**To peaches: Lol, you're in good company with these two if that's the case! Thank you!**

**Here's Chapter 23!**

"So I heard you're getting out of here."

Charlie didn't bother looking up from the documents Trevor had reluctantly brought her when she heard Sands' voice. "In the morning."

"Some people get all the luck."

Charlie resisted the urge to throw something at him. "I guess."

"I'm looking at a few more days. Well, figuratively speaking… "

"Then you shouldn't be up and moving around. Go back to your own room."

Sands walked further in and felt for a chair when he hit off the bed. He found it and sat down. "It's incredibly boring."

"Hospitals are incredibly boring. I certainly won't be relieving your boredom."

"But you were so good at it in Mexico."

She really wanted to hit him. "Get out of my room."

"I can't talk to you if we're not in the same room."

"That's kind of the point."

Charlie looked up when there was a knock on her door.

"Can I come in?"

Sands frowned at the voice.

Charlie was surprised too. "Barry?"

That's where Sands remembered it. Sounded different on the phone.

_Shit._

"Hey." Barry said, walking into the room. He had a big bouquet of flowers in his hand. "I heard you were here. I'm so happy you're okay."

"That depends…" Charlie replied, still a little shocked. She turned to Sands. "Sands, could you please give us a minute?"

"I'm blind." Sands said shortly. "Can't find my way around."

Barry looked at him. "Oh, I can help you if you…"

Sands stood up at Barry's offer. "No, I'll manage."

Sands walked out of the room and though he wasn't a praying man, thanked God he didn't bang into anything on his way out. He didn't go very far though as he stayed listening on the other side of the door.

"Barry, what are you doing here?"

"I came to see how you are." He walked closer the bed and handed her the flowers. "I brought these for you."

Charlie took them and couldn't help but admire them. "They're beautiful. Thank you." Charlie looked up at him. "How did you know I was here?"

"When you went missing, I was questioned. I don't know but…They were some cagey police officers."

Charlie kept her mouth shut.

"I was so worried about you." Barry sat on the side of her bed. "I miss you."

Charlie looked from the flowers to him. "Barry..."

"No, I know we broke up but Charlie, you're the only woman I want in my life and that's always been true. I love you and being apart from you for this long has only reminded me how much that's true. I do love you, Charlie."

If Sands had eyes, he would have rolled them from where he listened.

_Bullshit. Absolute bullshit._

"I just...It wasn't working anymore." Charlie replied.

_No, no it wasn't. Keep thinking that, Charlie._

"I know but that was my fault. I wasn't trying to make it work. I was taking you for granted and I realise that now. Being with you was the best thing that ever happened to me and somewhere in the time that we were together, I lost sight of that. But not anymore. I will do better. I promise you, Charlie, if you take me back, I will appreciate you as much as you deserve."

_He's a good liar. Should have signed up for the CIA._

Charlie looked at him with a sad expression. She was trying to think of what else she had in her life. She hated the fact that she felt a pang when she realised Sands wanted nothing to do with her anymore but she supposed it was her own fault. She didn't even think of him standing outside.

"Charlie," Barry saw her looking contemplative. "I am willing to prove how much I love you and want to be with you."

_Prove it? How? By not being a dickhead? Sorry Barry but I know guys like you and it's in your nature._

_Our nature._

Charlie looked at him. "How?"

She was a little shocked when he pulled a small box out of his pocket and opened it to reveal a diamond ring. "With this. I want to marry you."

Charlie's breath left her. "Barry..."

"Charlie, will you marry me?"

Sands froze.

_She'll say no._

_She'll say yes._

_She's a lot savvier now about that fuckmook._

_Her life is pretty much ruined. Of course if she could get some element of it back, she would._

_She won't do it. She can't._

_You have no right to expect anything from her. You gave her up. You can't expect her to stay alone._

Sands sighed and walked away, back to his own room, knowing that his rational thoughts, the ones he usually blocked out, were right this time.

_It's your own fault. You didn't lose her. You threw her away._

* * *

"Charlie, I really think a safe house would be a better option."

Charlie shook her head. "No, Trevor. I want to go home."

"Do you not remember what happened your home? It's still in pretty bad shape."

"Is there a bed?"

"Well, yeah but…"

"Can I lock my doors and windows?"

"We replaced those so yes you can but you're still…"

"I'm going back to my place, then." Charlie said. "If I don't feel safe after a while then I'll call you and you can place me wherever you like but I want to try and get my life back to normal somewhat."

"Have you decided if you're going to do the physical therapy?"

Charlie nodded. "It's my only chance of getting my job back."

"Charlie, your job…"

"Even if the CIA keeps me as the boss without letting me perform surgery, it's not enough. I love that part of the job. Handling all the other stuff is the part I put up with, I don't think I could handle that being all I do."

"Look, I'm all for you getting to work to save your career but I'm just saying, you're not getting fired."

Charlie sighed. "You can't make that decision. If the rest of the heads can't find a use for me, I'm gone."

"You don't know that."

Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

Trevor sighed. "Come on, I'll drive you home."

Charlie got off the hospital bed. "My apartment can't be that bad, right?"

* * *

"Oh my God."

"I told you it wasn't pretty."

Charlie walked further into her apartment. "It's…This is awful."

"Well, the place was shot to hell."

Charlie looked back at Trevor tiredly.

"The offer to stay somewhere else still stands."

Charlie walked across the apartment and into her bedroom. While messy, it was still somewhat intact. She walked back out. "No, my bedroom is fine and as long as I have a bed, that's really all I need. Anyway, I have nothing else to do so I might as well get to redecorating this place."

"Yes, you do. You have physical therapy."

Charlie huffed. "I'll have to let my wrist get a little better first and anyway, taking some time off would probably do me some good."

"You think?"

"After everything I've just gone through? Definitely."

Well, you know my number if you need any help."

Charlie nodded. "Thanks."

Trevor left and Charlie looked around before sighing.

"Welcome home."

Charlie wasn't alone for long when there was a knock on her new door. She opened it to see her neighbour standing there holding a leash.

"Glad you're safe." He said not very convincingly before handing over Buster and walking away.

Charlie frowned before closing the door and in a second, the dog was jumping on her.

"Hey boy."

Charlie scratched his fur, realising something.

_The minute he gets out, he's going to come here to get his dog._

_Great._

That proved only too true a few days later when Charlie was sitting at her new kitchen table, flipping through a magazine. She was trying to take her mind off of things with the magazine instead of work files, wine and soft music filtering her apartment. Despite the fact that her apartment was still a bit of a wreck, she was actually quite enjoying herself, not having to worry about anyone but herself.

Hearing a buzz on her intercom, Charlie got up and walked over to it, thinking it was the delivery guy with her food. She buzzed him in. "Come on up."

She opened the door slightly and went back to the table, sitting back down and looking at the magazine.

"I really didn't think it'd be that easy."

Charlie looked up quickly when Sands walked into her apartment. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Hey, you're the one who let me in."

"I didn't think it was you, obviously! I thought Trevor would warn me when you got out of the hospital."

"Warn you? What am I going to do? Attack you?"

"It wouldn't surprise me. Now get out."

"Once again, you let me in."

"Once again, I didn't know it was you."

"Well, you should be more careful, Mac. You just got back from being kidnapped in Mexico."

"Get out, Sands." She said, going back to her magazine. He was not ruining her relaxing night. Relaxation was the last thing she felt when with him.

"Just give me a second." Sands said which made Charlie frown. Since when did he ask things? Well, it wasn't exactly a request but it was more than she expected from Sands. "I really need to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you." Charlie said, getting up and going over to her door.

"Mac, this isn't about us, alright? I'm trying to talk to you about something serious here."

"Well, that's definitely the last thing we've ever been." Sands heard her open the door and she stood there, waiting for him to walk out of it.

"Charlie, would you just give me a chance to explain what I need to explain?" He said through gritted teeth.

Charlie sighed and closed her door. "Fine. Go on."

"What? You're not going to offer me a seat? What are we, cavemen?"

"Sands…"

"Alright, all those messages we left for Trevor while trying to get out of Mexico? He never got them."

Charlie nodded. "I know that. He told me."

"You know? And you don't think it's a tad bit strange? I mean, how did he not get any of them? We left enough. The only thing I could think of is that they were deleted before he could hear them."

"Wait, you think someone intercepted his messages? How could someone get into the CIA building, sneak into a boss's office and delete his messages multiple times?"

"Maybe they didn't sneak in to the building."

"You think it was someone working in the CIA? But…That's impossible."

"You don't think anyone's ever double crossed the CIA from the inside?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow.

Charlie shook her head. "But why delete messages from us? Someone was working with Lupe?"

"Or just wanted rid of us. Or even, one of us."

"You think someone in the CIA wants you dead?"

"I think a lot of people in the CIA want me dead." Sands replied. "They tried to leave me in Mexico, remember? The only reason they didn't was Trevor."

"You've been back for months and blind. Someone could have killed you in that time. Risking my life too? Would someone go that far?"

"If they want me dead enough. And having someone else kill me like Lupe is much easier and less likely to attract questions."

"If someone wanted you dead that much, well who knew Lupe was going to take us? Do people who consider murder like that wait to get lucky?"

"I don't know. Which is fucking irritating because I should. I used to be good at these things. Going blind has completely fucked me up in every way."

"Well, talk to Trevor. He obviously knows something is up. It's his messages that were deleted. There's no point telling me any of this. It has nothing to do with me."

Sands frowned. "I just told you someone is trying to kill me and in trying, nearly killed you and your response is 'It has nothing to do with me'?"

Charlie shrugged. "I'm a doctor, not an agent. What do you want from me?"

"Jesus, Charlie, could you stop acting bitter for one second and realise that this huge fucking problem is a little bigger than the fact that I did exactly what I said I would?"

"Not for me, it's not. No one's trying to kill me. Goodbye, Sands."

"No one's trying to kill you? Someone saw you as completely expendable. Do you know what that means, Mac? You're replaceable. No one who's replaceable at the CIA lasts long, especially not when they can't even do their fucking job." Sands said, flicking her wrist which was still in a sling.

Charlie was on her last nerve. "Get out, Sands."

"Charlie…"

"I said get out. I'm not taking your bullshit anymore. If you keep coming around and harassing me, I will report it. Like you said, I can't even do my job anymore so I no longer have to worry about losing your surgery. Now go."

"I don't want to go."

"Oh really?" Charlie said sarcastically. "By all means, tell me what you do want because I care so freakin…"

Charlie was cut off when Sands grabbed her tightly and pressed his lips against hers.

"What the hell are you doing?" Charlie asked when she pulled away.

"Getting what I want." Sands replied before kissing her again. He grabbed the backs of her thighs and lifted her to sit on the table.

"Wait a minute," Charlie frowned. "Now you want this? You weren't so keen when we got back here."

"Well, things change."

"Yeah, too fucking much. You acted like a complete asshole to me in the hospital and now all of a sudden…Oh my God…"

Sands frowned. "What?"

Charlie realised. "You're jealous."

"Excuse me?"

"You wouldn't stop annoying me in the hospital but I never once saw you again after Barry showed up. Now all of a sudden, you're trying to get me into bed again."

"I couldn't give a fuck about him."

"I was pretty convinced you felt the same way about me."

"Sugar, stop talking."

Sands kissed her again.

"Sands…" Charlie said breathlessly as he began kissing her neck.

"Yeah, sugar?"

Charlie grabbed his chin and brought his face close to hers. "Go home."

Sands was a little shocked. "What?"

Charlie got off the table. "And to make sure you find your way there and never have to come back here ever again…" She said, walking somewhere. She came back and Sands felt her put a leash into his hand. "Here's your old buddy."

"Buster?"

"Yeah, I've been taking care of him." Charlie replied. "Now he can take you home. Goodbye."

"Charlie…"

Charlie went back to sit at the table and looked down at her magazine. "Goodbye Sands."

Sands' jaw tensed and he walked out of the apartment, taking Buster with him.

Once he was gone, Charlie looked up at the door.

_I should have told him._

_I can't tell him. I'm not even sure yet._

_Well, I better find out._

* * *

"I thought I told you to stay away from me?"

"I'm not near you."

Charlie wanted to hit him a few days later when she came home from grocery shopping and found Sands sitting on bench, waiting outside her apartment.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Sands smirked. "Loitering."

Charlie put her bag of groceries into her other hand as she got out her keys. "Well, you can leave." She said, as she opened the door to her building.

"I want to talk to you."

"I think we said everything we needed to say." Charlie walked away and Sands followed her inside.

"Well if we're done talking, I have a few other things in mind."

"Go home, Sands."

"No."

Charlie turned to face him but Sands had misjudged how far away from her he was and he couldn't see her turn so he bumped right into her, dropping all her groceries to the floor.

Charlie huffed. "Great."

She crouched down to pick everything up but looked up at Sands as he simply stood there.

"Not even going to try to help?"

"I'm blind, sugar." Sands shrugged. "I can't see where anything is."

Charlie huffed and in a few seconds, one of her old lady neighbours came over to help her. She gave Sands a dirty look before turning to Charlie.

"Let me help you with that, dear."

"Thank you."

They filled her bag with everything and Charlie stood up.

"Thank you, Mrs. Delphi."

"No problem, dear." The woman smiled before glaring at Sands again. "Always glad to help."

Charlie began walking away and Sands followed her.

"I may have been blind but I could feel the hate radiating from the hag."

"Shut up, Sands!"

"Charlie, dear!" Mrs. Delphi called after her. "You forgot your..." Mrs. Delphi gave her a pointed look, full of judgement as she looked at Sands again. "Pregnancy test."

Charlie felt the blood drain from her face as Sands' face looked like the same thing was occurring.

"Thank you..." Charlie took it off her quickly and the woman stalked off with new gossip for the other neighbours. As if they didn't have enough about Charlie already.

Sands turned to her. "Said everything we needed to say, did we?"

Charlie sighed. "My apartment. Now."

"Oh, you want me around now I knocked you up?"

Charlie looked at him angrily. "No. If I thought you would actually go, I would gladly send you home."

Charlie turned and stormed off and Sands stayed where he was for a few seconds as his brain tried to process these new events. He hurried after her when he heard her elevator bell chime. He walked into the elevator.

"Is there anyone else in here?"

"No." Charlie said shortly as the doors closed.

"How the fuck does a genius doctor accidentally get pregnant?"

Charlie glared at him. "Because we had sex. We. You and Me. I'm not the only one to blame here. I might, _might _be pregnant and if I am, it's because you got me pregnant."

"I thought you, a grown woman who has had sex before, would be on the pill!"

Charlie's jaw was tense. "I wasn't on my pill when we...in Mexico."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because I was single!" Charlie bit back. "I didn't need to be on it!"

"Then why did you fuck me?"

"Would you stop saying fuck?" Charlie sighed. "You were there. We got...carried away. Don't act like you were thinking 'oh, I'm sure she's taking her pill and there is absolutely no risk of pregnancy' when you were taking my clothes off. You didn't consider it either. It takes two to tango."

"It takes one to get pregnant." Sands huffed. "I would bang the only genius in the world who would forget she wasn't on her pill. How hard is it to forget? Don't you have to take that shit every day? The amount of shitty reasons you always came up with not to have sex with me and you don't use the only one that was actually good!"

The elevator stopped and the doors opened. Charlie walked out. "Just another reason for me to regret that night."

Sands followed her. "You said you didn't regret that night."

"You told me you cared about me. We're both liars." Charlie put her key into her door and turned to him. "Go home."

"No. I'm not going anywhere until you take that test."

"Don't act like you would give a fuck about this child if I was. You'd be back in Mexico before the morning sickness."

Sands teeth were gritted together. "Get inside and take the test. Quietly. You don't have a fucking clue what I'd do."

Charlie rolled her eyes and walked inside with Sands following her.

"Give me that." He said, taking the bag of groceries out of her hand.

"Oh, you could see them fine then." Sands ignored her and turned the bag upside down, dropping everything onto her couch.

He turned back to her. "Find it and take it. Now."

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Charlie, take the fucking test now!"

Charlie put her head in her hands before looking at him. "Okay, you need to leave."

"Excuse me?"

"You...You are panicking and I cannot deal with you panicking! I am scared shitless that I might be pregnant and I do not need you being scared shitless too!"

Sands' jaw tensed. "Alright, I'm sorry. Just...Just take it. Please."

Charlie was positive that this was the first time she'd ever heard Sands say 'sorry' and 'please'. But instead of boasting over the fact that she made him both apologise and beg, she was too focused on how he wasn't the cool, laidback Sands she was used to. He was genuinely feeling this. Charlie didn't know that was possible. Well, not anymore.

She walked over to him and reached past him to the couch, picking up the test.

"I'll be right back."

Sands stood still for a second before nodding.

Charlie walked to the bathroom before Sands grabbed her wrist.

"What are you going to do? If you are?"

"It's something we can discuss if I am."

"We?"

Charlie nodded. "Both of us."

Sands let her go. "Okay."

Charlie walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

Sands waited.

_Shit._

_How the hell did this happen?_

Sands very quickly remembered how it could have happened…

"_Why are we stopping?"_

"_We're out of gas." Charlie sighed as the car stopped._

"_Where are we?"_

"_I don't know. On the side of some road. We're just going to have to wait till the morning and hope someone drives by that can help."_

"_Do we look like people anyone would stop for? I'm covered in bandages and not wearing a shirt because you're wearing it."_

"_Well, excuse me. We were in a rush and I didn't have time to find my clothes that you threw around. Not me, you. I'm not exactly happy about my attire either. It'll be humiliating if someone does stop."_

"_Are you wearing your underwear?"_

_Charlie frowned. "Of course."_

"_Then you're fine."_

"_Only to you."_

_Sands smirked. "Believe me sugar; you're more than fine to me."_

_Charlie rolled her eyes but couldn't contain her smile. "So very cheesy. Well if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drag my more than fine self into the backseat and try to sleep. I've gotten very little lately, thanks to some people."_

"_You're more than welcome."_

_Charlie shook her head and hopped into the backseat, lying across it._

"_Are you not going to sleep?" Charlie asked._

"_I'm going to try."_

_Charlie bit her lip. "There's plenty of room back here."_

"_For?"_

"_Sleeping, Sands. Just sleeping."_

_Sands thought about it for a millisecond before hopping into the back with her. Charlie was surprised that when he lay down, he wrapped his arms around her but she just put it down to not really having that much room. She doubted that assumption when he didn't try to feel her up but instead kissed her forehead._

"_Night, sugar."_

_Charlie was astounded. "Goodnight."_

_They both tried to go to sleep but didn't have much luck. _

"_Sugar?" Sands asked after a while of silence._

"_Hmmm?"_

"_So you're not sleeping?"_

_Charlie opened her eyes. "Even though I should be dead to the world, no. I can't."_

_She felt Sands' hand stroking her side._

"_Neither can I."_

_Charlie looked up at him and __Sands__realised how close their faces actually were. Never one to miss an opportunity, Sands pressed his lips against hers. _

_When they parted, Charlie put her hands against his chest. "We're not going to sleep, are we?"_

"_No."_

Sands sighed at the memory of them then and the way they were now.

_You have no one to blame but yourself._

Charlie walked out of the bathroom to see Sands still leaning against the back of the sofa.

"Well?"

"We have to wait five minutes." Charlie replied.

Sands nodded and the two descended into silence.

Charlie looked at him. "If I am, and I...I keep it, are you going to be around?"

Sands stood up straight. "Do you want me around?"

"I asked you first."

"We're not twelve, Charlie."

"I am not admitting I want you around and then having you turn around and saying you don't want to be involved!" Charlie said exasperatedly. "I am sick of admitting things and having them come back to bite me with you! I told you I cared about you and you ran away from me! I tried to help you and I got kidnapped and taken out of the country! And then...And then I gave in, I slept with you and risked everything because I thought that maybe, just maybe, you were worth it. But you got what you wanted and then you were done with me. And it's not your fault! You never promised anything, you always said it would only be one night and then it would be over. You were completely straight with me. I just...I wanted more and I fooled myself into believing I'd get it. And now...And now you could be stuck with me. But if you still don't want to be, you still don't have to be. The choice is up to you again." Charlie finished. "So I'm not going first this time."

Sands ran his hand through his hair. "Fuck, how the hell are we supposed to bring up a well-adjusted human being? Neither of us are anything near it!"

Charlie looked at him. "We?"

Sands seemed to struggle with himself for a second but she was shocked when he grabbed her and kissed her passionately.

"What are you doing?" She asked when they parted.

"In case you haven't noticed, I have issues." Sands said. "But I am not a coward. I'm not going to be some fucking pussy who runs off and doesn't show up until the kid is in college or something because I've looked back and regretted the fuck ups in my life. So yeah, I'm going to be there if this is true and I'm going to do it well. But on the other hand, I am an asshole. I don't want to be to my kid but I am an asshole. You might not want me around your child. So you need to go first. You need to make this decision."

Charlie let out a shuddering breath. "I think it's been five minutes."

"Charlie..."

Charlie walked back into the bathroom and Sands couldn't help but follow her. She looked down at the test.

"Well?" Sands asked.

"It's negative." She replied, throwing the test in the trash. She turned to him. "No one needs to go first."

She walked past him out of the bathroom, running her hand through her hair. Sands followed her out though neither really knew what to say.

"You..." Charlie began. "You don't have to stay here."

Sands frowned. "You're still trying to kick me out?"

"No." Charlie replied, surprised. "I just thought..."

"You thought that now we're out of the fire, I'd scamper off again, free of responsibility."

"Well...Don't you want to?"

"Dear God, yes."

"Well, you can. I'm fine."

"Are you?" Sands asked.

Charlie sighed. "I didn't want to be pregnant. I'm not anywhere capable of being a mother and we couldn't go five minutes without nearly ripping each other's throats out. This is for the best, believe me. We're the last thing a child needs and it's not on the top of my list either."

"So you're not disappointed?"

Charlie frowned. "Are you?"

"No." Sands replied, a little horrified she could think any different. "Kids are not now nor have they ever been on my cards."

"Good. They're not on mine either, especially at the moment."

Sands couldn't help his next remark. "Especially not with the wedding on the way."

Charlie looked at him. "What?"

"I'm blind, not deaf. I can still hear things."

Charlie was fuming that he had been eavesdropping but not shocked. "Well, obviously you do have trouble with your hearing because I said no."

Sands was about to reply but stopped and his eyebrows shot up. "You did?"

"Not that it is any of your business but yes, I did."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Your life could have gone back to normal if you said yes."

Charlie huffed. "Yes, it could have. But…You were right."

"About what?"

"When you said that Barry messed me up in my private life. He did always put me down to make me feel insecure and believe it or not, I'm a little sick of guys doing that to me. I am panicking about my life lately and I could have tried to get it back to the way it was but I wasn't happy then and I wouldn't have been if I went back to it. Anyway, too much has changed and if it wasn't enough then, it definitely isn't anymore. I just need to be single for a while. Like you always said, I have a strong work ethic and since I can't work anymore, I'm going to have to focus on making my personal life ethic just like my work one. That means you need to stay away from me."

Charlie was expecting Sands to leave her apartment but he didn't. "Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?"

"That you actually do regret what happened in Mexico?"

Charlie huffed, putting her hand to her head. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Like I said."

"You don't fucking know? Everything that went down and you can't even tell me if you have a thought on it? That's fucking cowardly. At least I've admitted what it was."

"Oh, well fucking done to you!" Charlie said. "You came back here and started treating me like dirt again. Congratulations, you're a big fucking man. But me? I don't know! I don't know what I'm doing! I used to! I used to know everything and then you came along and now I'm fucking useless and I don't know anything! I don't fucking have anything! I lost my job, I lost my home…"

"We're in your home!"

"You're blind Sands so I didn't expect you to be able to see the shoddily filled bullet holes all over my walls or that nearly all my furniture is gone because it's beyond damaged or that anything I had of sentimental value is gone but I would have thought you were at least the tiniest bit smart enough to remember that it was my apartment that was shot to pieces when they took us, my home was ruined when they barged in and started shooting. We were here because I, once again like a fool, was helping you. So yeah, I have a place to sleep but my home is gone. Oh and let's not forget the shred of self-respect I had? Oh, you took that away from me. So good for you, you caught me on a day when my pride is completely broken down so what's the point in lying? I don't regret Mexico. I don't regret what happened. I wasn't expecting anything to change when we came back here. I thought you might still want me. I was a fool but I don't regret it. And not in the way you don't, in the 'yes, I fucked her now I can move on' way. It meant a little more to me. So that is why if I don't want to jump off the top of a building, you need to stay away from me and let me get my life back together, at least a new one where I can make better decisions. Now get out."

Sands shook his head. "We're not done."

"Oh, we are definitely done, Sands."

Sands nodded and left her apartment. Charlie sighed, running a hand through her hair. She looked to her phone when it began to ring.

* * *

_Done. Definitely fucking done. _

_I am not coming back here. I am not going near her again. I am done._

_I set them up and I watch them fall. I did that. She fell. It's no fun watching her pick herself back up._

_That was never your intention and that's not why you're staying away._

_A drug. She is a drug and drugs are bad. I just need to kick the habit._

"Sands, wait!"

Sands stopped and turned when he heard Charlie's voice call after him.

_But in all fairness, what addict can really kick a drug?_

"What?" Sands asked.

Charlie hurried over to him. "I have wonderful news."

_You're going to realise that I'm a complete jackass who doesn't know what's good for him and let me back into your life?_

"What news?"

"I just got a call. They found you a donation."

Sands' eyebrows shot up. "What?"

"You're getting your sight back."

* * *

_Sands chuckled at how he felt as they sat in the reclined front chairs of the car. They had moved up because sleep certainly wasn't an option due to the close proximity in the back and their little restraint but it wasn't really happening in the front either._

_"You've really fucked me up, sugar."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_Sands noticed how even though she was __apologising__, it still sounded like she was smiling._

_"I'm sure you are."_

_"You fucked me too in case you haven't noticed."_

_"I'm not sorry."_

_"That I have noticed."_

_Sands grasped her arm. "Come here."_

_He pulled Charlie onto his lap so he was straddling him and brought his hand up to clasp her face, pulling her down so he could kiss her. When she pulled back a little, Sands stroked her hair behind her ear._

"_You better get me those eyes, sugar."_

_Charlie frowned. "What?"_

_"I need to fucking see you."_

**Looks like Sands is getting what he wanted. Or at least one of the things he wanted!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	24. Good and Bad

**Here's Chapter 24!**

"Sands? Say something."

"I don't really know what you want me to say."

Charlie frowned. "You just got the best news you could have gotten, what you've been waiting for. You should be doing cartwheels."

"I'm not really a cartwheel type of fella. Well, not sober anyway."

"Well, whatever you do to display happiness. You're getting your eyes, Sands."

"Yeah, I'm not really registering that…"

Charlie sighed and sat back, her back hitting her couch from where she was sitting on the floor of her apartment. Sands was sitting across from her against the table and had just listened to all the details Charlie had brought him back to her apartment to tell him. His reaction was not what she was expecting.

"How am I getting my eyes back," Sands asked. "If you can't operate?"

Charlie looked down at the floor. "Yeah, well it won't be me doing it."

"Not you? But…It needs to be you."

"It can't be me."

"So…what does that mean?"

"It means you get another doctor."

Sands frowned. "I don't want another doctor."

"Sands…"

"No! I don't want another doctor swanning in here and…"

"I'll get someone good."

"I don't want someone good! I want the best! You've been practising! I don't want some jackass who had no clue he would be doing this yesterday coming in and operating on my only chance to see again!"

"Well, you don't have a choice!" Charlie said, frustrated. "You think I want it? I have been preparing for that surgery for months! I have gone through hell to be able to do it and now because of fucked up timing, I have to pass it over to someone else! At least you get to have a positive side to all of this! You're getting your sight back. You're going to be able to do everything you were before. You'll get your job back! So shut up complaining and realise that this is a fucking good thing!"

Sands was a little shocked. "Alright, Charlie, you sound like you're about to blow a fuse."

"Of course I am!" She said, hopelessly. "Every single time you annoyed me or I felt like giving up, I just kept telling myself to think of the surgery, that it would be worth it. It was supposed to be the peak of my career, not the end of it. And I can't even do it now. You're damn right I'm angry."

Sands nodded. "I know you're angry at me…"

"Could you stop being full of yourself for two seconds?"

"Excuse me?"

"You really think you're that irresistible?" Charlie asked. "I mean, you screwed me over and I'm pissed off but you are not the reason that I am angry. I am angry because...Because my career is over. I know you might not understand that because you went blind and you still get to be an agent. I'll admit it, I am jealous. You got the eyes ripped out of your head and someone is going to come along and fix that and you'll be fine. I broke my wrist and it's goodbye job. Do you know how crazy that is? People break bones every day! It is not huge and after the cast comes off, it rarely affects their life the way it will mine. You have no eyes! And that can be fixed! It's insane. It shouldn't be allowed. You shouldn't get the luck. And not because you screwed me over but because you don't deserve it! You tried to instil revolt in a country so you could run off with twenty million dollars behind the CIA's back. You shoot people. You are a bad guy! I am a good guy! So why are you the one who gets the rewards?"

Sands was silent for a second. "You don't think getting my eyes ripped out was bad luck?"

"Did I say that?"

"You're saying quite a lot, it's hard to keep up."

"Well, let me clear it up for you. No, I didn't."

"Oh, that's fine then." Sands said sarcastically. "So that's why you're angry?"

"Why are you so obsessed with why I'm angry?"

"Because it sounds like you're about to snap. I just want to make sure I'm not in the aim of your stabbing. And besides, it ain't about rewards, Mac. I am getting my eyes fixed because they can be and I'm a good agent. I may not be a good guy but I'm a good agent. I did my job in Mexico. You might not want to agree with that but if that's the case, then you should be thankful you could be leaving the CIA because that's what we do. And you're part of it. You're not a good guy. If I'm a bad guy then I work for the bad guys and that means so do you so you are a bad guy. And your little tirade hasn't got me convinced that you're not angry with me, just for different reasons now.

Charlie huffed. She couldn't get through to him. "Shut up, Sands. If I shout anymore, I'm going to lose my voice."

"Couldn't lose that too."

Charlie glared at him. "Are you seriously mocking me? The only reason I let you back in here is to explain the amazing news that you are getting your sight back even though if I were in any way smart, I wouldn't have chased after you and let someone else tell you everything but silly me, I _am_ a good person. So due to the fact that I am currently trying very hard not to knee you in the groin as I tell you all about your good luck after everything you did to me, do you think that maybe, just maybe, you could lay off putting me down?"

"Aha!" Sands said triumphantly. "_After everything I did to you_, I knew that had something to do with this!"

Charlie frowned. "Why are you so adamant that I'm devastated over what you did and can't move on?"

This ended Sands' smugness pretty quickly.

_Because you need to be, otherwise you have the power because I'm certainly not coping well with this._

"Because I saw you in Mexico. Well, not literally. I experienced you in Mexico. You were invested. I don't believe that you could just switch that off."

"Like you did? Because I literally did see you in Mexico and I wasn't the only one invested in what was going on. In the car…"

"You're using the car as an example? Are you forgetting how that ended, Mac? We were not amicable by the end of that."

"I was talking about before everything went to hell because you wouldn't let me sleep."

"How did it turn into my fault?"

"I don't know! It just was!"

"You weren't saying no!"

"I should have!"

"Well, you didn't. It was not my fault that we were…interrupted..."

"Is that what you call it?"

"Nicer than the real thing…"

"_I cannot believe this."_

"_At least we got picked up from the side of the road."_

_Charlie looked at Sands. "Got picked up? Sands, we got arrested!"_

"_Who knew the cops would be out that far in the middle of the night?"_

_Charlie put her head in her handcuffed hands. "I can't believe this. I am a successful doctor with a good reputation and I just got arrested for solicitation."_

"_Well, if it makes you feel any better, at least he thought you were a professional at what you were doing." Sands grimaced when she punched him on the arm. "Ow! That was a compliment." He huffed. "If anything, it should be me that's offended. He was insinuating I had to pay for it."_

"_They think I'm a prostitute!"_

"_Maybe sex in the car wasn't that great of an idea."_

"_You think?"_

"_Well, look on the bright side. This may be our ticket out of here. Once they see that we don't have passports, they'll send us back to the States. Tada, back home before the weekend."_

_Charlie's eyes widened. "Oh no. No, no, no. I cannot be found in Mexico like this. Arrested for prostitution wearing nothing but your shirt. No, that would be very bad. My career would be over if this got out."_

"_Mac, you might want to stop mentioning how important you are."_

_Charlie frowned. "What?"_

"_Well, these cops are hardly the type to read Surgeon Digest or whatever the hell you doctors are well known in but if they keep hearing you going on and on about how you're an important person, that's some money coming in for a story. Then you're really fucked. And not in the way they arrested you for."_

_Charlie glared at him before sighing and looking around the back of the police van they had been piled into with other people arrested that night. She grimaced when she saw the other men leering at her._

"_I want to go home…"_

Charlie sighed.

_Now I just want to be anywhere else._

"What are you huffing and puffing about?" Sands asked.

"Just thinking."

"About how in Mexico, you have a record?"

Charlie looked at him tiredly. "Shut up, Sands."

"Why does everyone tell me to shut up when I'm the only one who tells the truth around here?"

"The truth? You're a huge liar!"

"About what?" Sands asked, although he could have given a few examples himself. "How the CIA works? How I work? How you work?"

"You don't know how I work."

"Oh come on Mac, now who's the liar?"

"Okay Mister Genius, how do I work?"

"You put such effort into everything you do to avoid having to deal with anything unfavourable. If you study a lot, you don't have time to have friends so you don't have to feel bad about not having any, you work an ungodly amount of hours so you don't have to come to the realisation that your life at home with Brian…"

"Barry."

"Whatever. You surround yourself with work so you don't have to deal with the fact that it's just not working anymore. And in work, you do every job yourself; every detail is spick and span so you don't have to deal with any amount of imperfection because you're so used to not dealing with it anywhere else. You are a workaholic because you are inept at dealing with your life. And now, your work isn't around anymore and you are cracking up because you actually do have to face the prospect that maybe, your life has problems."

"Believe me; I know my life has problems."

"And you are breaking down!"

"I am not breaking down! I am only freaking out like this when you're around!"

"Why?"

"Because you make me angry!"

"I told you!" Sands said, regaining his triumphant smugness. "You are angry at me!"

"No, I am not! Being angry because of you and being angry with you is not the same thing!"

"How does that work?"

"You make me angry with myself!"

Sands was confused. "Why? What'd you do you wrong?"

Charlie frowned at him. "Seriously? I swore to myself that I would not let you get to me, I was so adamant that I had enough self-control. I mean, do you think you're the first agent that ever came onto me? The place is like a wasteland of assholes who think they're God's gifts. They think because they have the impressive job and the secret identities, they're just irresistible. And you're one of them. I swore long before I met you that I wouldn't be caught dead giving in to one of you. And I let myself down. That's not your fault. It's mine."

Sands nodded. "And you go for the worst choice in men."

"Well, that I knew."

"So I am right?"

"You think you are."

"But am I?"

Charlie sighed. "Not completely."

"What did I miss? What else could possibly be going wrong?"

"I need to move."

"Why not just do this place up to the way it originally was?"

"Because it'll never be the way it was. I need to just be somewhere new. Somewhere where the neighbours don't hush up when I pass or take the stairs when they see me waiting for the elevator or keep their kids away from me in case something bad is following right around the corner."

"…Is that it?"

"Okay, that's it. Get out."

"I just don't get it!" Sands said, annoyed.

"Get what?"

"You should be pissed off at me!"

"I am pissed off at you! You lied at me to get me into bed and then led me on before dropping me! I am pissed off! You are just not my biggest problem! I am grown woman, I can get over what you did because you're an asshole and I've dealt with those before, not on the scale I have with you but… Look, I'm pretty sure I'm not the first girl to get screwed over like this, by you even. I'll be pissed off for a while and then I'll get over it. But in terms of other things going on in my life? It's not huge."

"I don't buy that! You should be telling whoever called you a while ago that I would no longer need the transplant, that I died or something!"

Charlie frowned. "Why would I do that?"

"For revenge! I fucked you over! I completely used you and you came running after me to tell me the good news! What the hell is wrong with you? Your life is in pieces and you're still trying to help mine! You admitted yourself it isn't fair and you're still doing it! What is that about?"

_Why is you not being more affected by this pissing me off so much?_

"Why are you helping me when your life is such a wreck, mainly down to me?"

Charlie was a little hesitant. "I suppose…It could be worse."

Sands scoffed. "How could it get any worse? Your career is over, your apartment is blown to pieces, from the sounds of it your neighbours are about one step away from lynching you out of the building, you have no one to go to because you've alienated everyone for your job so please tell me how could your life possibly get any worse?"

Sands was surprised when he felt Charlie's lips on his. That was not at all what he was expecting.

_Oh, that's how. By letting me stay around and ruin it a little bit more._

"Charlie…" Sands sighed, pulling away.

"Shut up, Sands." Charlie said, kissing him again.

"Okay," Sands pulled away again. "It is your fault. You're a moron and obviously a glutton for pain."

"Are you seriously going to stop when I'm the one initiating this?" Charlie asked, knowing the answer.

Sands was still for a second before he kissed her, dragging her onto his lap.

"I'm not calling you Sheldon."

* * *

"Get out."

Sands was positive he misheard her. "What?"

Charlie got up out of her bed and began putting on her robe. "Get out. We're done."

"Just about." Sands pointed out. "You're trying to kick me out?"

"I realised something while you were talking about how my life seems to be the most pathetic thing you've ever heard." Charlie said, ruffling her hair. "You were right. About everything. All the time, you were right. I should have never expected more from you. I mean, I thought I was covering my bases by asking you back in the motel room about what was happening. I tried to prepare myself for not going any further but then you said that you were actually invested in this and about caring and all that crap. But I was a fool to think you weren't lying then because you lie about everything. The CIA deserves you. They couldn't get a better unfeeling bastard."

He was the unfeeling one? She was the one doing that weird, calm and logical voice that made Sands more than a little hesitant. It usually meant she knew something he didn't.

"So what was the harm in using you to make myself feel a little better in my woeful state?" Charlie continued, turning to look at him. "You don't care about anyone but yourself and you seemed to have a good time. Good feelings all around. For a while, at least. But, I'm serious. Leave. I am not your doctor anymore. I'm nothing to you. Stay away from me. I have nothing and I don't want anything to do with you. Now, get out. And if you come back, I'm calling the police."

"You wouldn't." Sands replied, really not believing this. She used him? And now she was trying to get rid of him?

"You have no idea how quickly I would." Charlie threatened. "I'm going to go take a shower. You've stormed out of here before, I'm sure you can make your own way out. See ya, Sands."

Charlie left the room and walked into the bathroom.

Sands was speechless.

_Maybe she does know a thing or two about revenge…_

* * *

Charlie stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around herself. She walked over to the bathroom mirror and wiped the condensation away to look at herself. She couldn't help but sigh. Her hair which was now always limp had very unattractive roots as she hadn't dyed it in so long, her skin was pale, her face always looked sad now. She just wasn't herself.

_Exactly. I'm not myself. I don't mope around and do nothing to help myself. I've never been like that. I've always picked myself up and dusted myself off._

_So why can't I do that this time?_

_I can. And I will._

_I'm getting back to how I was before._

* * *

"Charlie?"

Charlie stopped walking through the offices when she hear Trevor's voice. "Hey."

"Hey." Trevor frowned, coming up to her. "You…blonde person, you."

Charlie placed her hand on her hair. "Thought I'd go with something different."

"But, blonde?"

"I like it."

"So do I. And I'm sure a lot of the other, more immature, male agents will too."

Charlie smirked. "I'm a big girl, Trevor. They've never gotten to me before, they won't now."

_At least not the ones who can actually see me._

_Oh well, he's not getting to me anymore anyway._

"Charlie, what are you doing here?" Trevor asked with a sympathetic expression. "You don't have to come to work yet."

"I want to get work on finding a replacement for Sands' surgery."

"Oh, we can find someone else to focus on that." Trevor said, knowing that that job would be hard for her on top of everything else.

Charlie shook her head. "No. I may not be able to do the surgery but I want to look over every possibility, make sure I approve whoever gets chosen. So if I could get a list of anyone who was up for my job before I got it, that'd be great. And I might need to borrow Melissa for the day. I have my own team but I'm making this search very wide, international. No credible prospect is being left out."

Trevor smirked. "You're beginning to sound like your old self."

Charlie smiled.

* * *

Sands stopped walking past the cubicles when he heard a familiar name being brought up.

"Did you see Macintosh?"

"I know, blonde. Since when did she join the shit for brains brigade?"

"Hotter though."

"Oh yeah, you'd still fuck her."

"If she wasn't as frigid as the North Pole."

* * *

"What the hell happened?"

"I have no idea!" Thompson said defensively. "I was just talking to Jerrod and he came up and attacked me."

"In my defence," Sands replied. "I have wanted to beat the shit out of Thompson for a very long time and I'm not the only one…"

"Shut up, Sands." Trevor huffed. "What was it that finally killed your resolve to not physically harm Thompson?"

"Common sense?"

Trevor looked at Thompson. "You got any idea?"

"None. I was just talking, not even to him." Thompson remembered. "About Doctor Macintosh."

This made Trevor raise an eyebrow at a now hesitant Sands.

Thompson smirked. "Oh please don't tell me Mister Magoo has a crush on the bitchiest ice queen in this…"

Thompson was knocked unconscious when Sands grabbed the back of his head and slammed his face against Trevor's desk, making him fall to the floor.

"Sands!"

"What?" Sands shrugged. "Don't tell me you haven't wanted to do that in a very long time."

"This is a workplace, not Disneyland. Your dreams don't come true here."

"One of mine just did."

"What the hell is going on with you?" Trevor frowned. "You putting any guy who talks about Charlie into a coma doesn't quell my suspicions about you two."

"Oh come on, you would have done the same thing if you heard them talking about her that way."

"No I wouldn't have because I am the boss and have to promote teamwork and all that crap. You and Charlie kill each other so why are you running to her rescue?"

"I owe her a lot. I was just looking out for her, so to speak."

"Okay, seriously? You don't think you owe anyone anything ever and you don't look out for anyone but yourself."

"We went through a lot together in Mexico. It changed the game."

"What did you two go through that was so game changing in your experience? You've gone through a lot on your own and no game was ever changed."

Sands couldn't say. Anything he was talking about was something Trevor couldn't know.

"Well?"

"_What do you think they're going to do with us?" Charlie asked, looking at the cops gesturing to them._

"_No idea." Sands said. "Take us to an embassy, hopefully."_

"_Oh God," Charlie sighed. "The CIA is going to fire me so quickly when they come down here and see us."_

"_Us? I'm fully dressed."_

"_I can't believe they have t-shirts here but no pants."_

_Sands shrugged and they went quiet for a while. Charlie looked over to see Sands frowning._

"_Shit." He whispered._

"_What? Sands? What is it?"_

"_I just remembered something."_

"_What?"_

"_Prostitution is legal in Mexico."_

_Charlie frowned. "Legal? Then why would they arrest us?"_

"_Maybe because a certain incredibly rich divorcee and angry mother has them in her pocket?"_

_Charlie's eyes widened. "Lupe?"_

"_Maybe not." Sands whispered, trying to think. "The arrest could have been legitimate."_

_Charlie frowned. "I thought it was legal here?"_

"_It is. But you don't look very Mexican, sugar, and human trafficking ain't legal anywhere."_

"_Wait, they think I was brought here and have a pimp and all that stuff?"_

"_You saying pimp sounds wrong and hilarious at the same time."_

"_Sands!"_

"_Quiet over there." A cop called over._

_They quieted for a second before Sands began whispering again. "It's only going to seem more plausible, you don't speak much Spanish, you don't have a passport and I'm guessing you're a bit battered and bruised. So yeah, they think you're under some pimp's thumb. And probably a drug addict."_

"_That's awful." Charlie grimaced, thinking about all those poor women who actually went through that._

"_I know. Not only do they think I pay for it, they think I pay to encourage that too."_

_Charlie glared at him before getting up and walking over to the bars in front of her. "Excuse me, could you tell us what's happening?"_

"_Shut up."_

_Charlie huffed and walked back over, sitting down._

"_We're definitely going back to Lupe." Sands nodded._

"_Shit."_

"_Yup."_

"She was my seeing eye dog." Sands shrugged.

"Charming. And vague. So you come back here and start treating her like shit?"

"I don't have to openly owe her."

"You're not her protector, Sands. Charlie is a big girl and she knows the assholes around here talk, about her, not all nice things. The reason she is still here is because she doesn't let it get to her."

"She doesn't mind hearing guys talking about how they'd fuck her if she wasn't so frigid? Exact words, Trevor. Exact words!"

"Good!"

"What do you mean good?"

"It might not be a good word but Charlie would prefer those words being said about her rather than words like 'easy', 'slutty', 'whore'…"

"Like Melissa."

"Exactly."

"Did she tell you I'm getting my eyes?"

"I'm aware, yes." Trevor nodded.

"That's why I attacked Thompson."

"Because you're getting eyes?"

"Because she got me my eyes. I may be an unfeeling bastard but I know when to return a favour."

"Well, buy her flowers, not attack her co-workers."

"Noted." Sands said, standing up. "I'm going to go get back to work."

Trevor frowned. "Why are you two even at work anyway?"

Sands stopped. "Mac's here?"

Trevor sat up. "Do you really think she's going to want to see you? She's probably heard about your act of chivalry by now. Word travels fast."

Sands nodded and left the office.

Trevor huffed at Sands' behaviour before looking over his desk at Thompson on the floor.

"He'll be fine…" Trevor said, getting up and stepping over him to leave the office.

* * *

"Okay," Charlie said to her two assistants as they sat on the other side of her desk. "We're going to need to find someone who has an immaculate reputation. I've spoken to Agent Hartford and he is getting me a list of names of doctors who was in the running to get my job so we're going to be doing a lot of researching but I also want you two to look for any doctors noted in neurology. Get onto ophthalmologists and ask around. I don't want to miss any valuable lead or resource."

Charlie looked and saw them focused on one thing.

"Okay," She sighed. "It's a cast. My arm is in a cast and since you two are doctors, I would hope that you've seen one before."

"It's just," Penny said. "I can't believe that little thing has caused such huge problems."

"Well, not just that." Kevin said.

"Excuse me?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow, making him look from Penny to her. "Care to elaborate?"

"No."

"You wouldn't have said it if you didn't have a reason to."

"It's just…You're putting us to work to help the guy who ended your career."

"Agent Sands is a patient in our care." Penny said indignantly, making her crush very obvious. "It is our obligation to help him to the best of our ability and…"

"Alright, Penny," Charlie cut in. "That's enough. We're doing this and personal opinion doesn't come into it."

"I think it does." Kevin muttered.

"And what does that mean?" Charlie asked, frustrated.

Kevin huffed. "It means that the guy obviously has a thing for you which should have made you drop this case months ago. There's no point in showing ethical behaviour now when you haven't done it all along."

"Agent Sands has worked here for a long time, longer than you, and he is a professional, the same as me. There are no personal feelings between…"

"That's why he beat up Thompson for talking about you?"

Charlie had heard about that and she was furious but couldn't show it. "What Agent Sands did had nothing to do with me."

"Right, that's believable. I mean, it's no secret that the place is buzzing over speculation about what happened with you two in Mexico."

"Nothing happened in Mexico." Charlie said. "Besides the fact that we were taken there against our will. And the reason we are back here alive is because we worked together, something we're good at because it is what we've always done."

"So he's used to playing the hero for you?"

Charlie wondered if Sands could get away with attacking Thompson, could she get away with smacking Kevin?

"Kevin, in case you have forgotten, I am your boss and…"

"Not for much longer." Kevin went on. "We're looking for your replacement."

"No, you're not." Charlie said. "You're fired. Get out of my office."

Kevin gaped at her. "What? You can't."

"I'm still the boss and I still decide who works for me. Go and pack your belongings and get out of here. You no longer have a job."

Kevin huffed and stormed out of the office.

"Are…Are you sure that's a wise decision?" Penny asked. "Especially with all the work we have ahead of us…"

"I will not be spoken like that by the people who work for me, especially when they don't know what they're talking about. Kevin didn't remember that and so, he couldn't work for me anymore. I've fired people for a lot less."

Penny nodded. "Okay then. If it makes you feel any better, he's just annoyed because he's always been jealous that he's two years older than you and you're his boss. Then you got into your…accident and he figured he had the surgery in the bag. Then you brought us in to look for other doctors…"

Charlie sighed and handed her over some files. "Go through those."

"Yes, Doctor Macintosh." Penny said, taking them and leaving her office.

Charlie sat back in her chair, sighing. Now she had to do twice the work but she wasn't taking that from anyone and definitely not at her job. She was the boss here.

Even if, technically, Kevin might have been right.

About Mexico anyway…

"_What are we going to do? We can't go back to Lupe. She'll kill us."_

"_That's the plan." Sands tried to think. "How many cops are around?"_

"_Not many. Like four."_

_Charlie saw him get up and walk to the bars. He stepped back when he walked into them. "Oh. There they are. Hey!"_

_A cop walked over. "What?"_

"_We, me and the whore over there, well it's not hard to see that we're in bad shape. I'm all stitched up and let's face it, she's a wreck."_

"_Thanks." Charlie said._

"_No problem, sugar. We're cut, bruised and in pain."_

_Charlie frowned. In between their more risqué activities and getting arrested, she had actually been checking his stitches. Despite being a little raw from their "activities", they were fine. He was fine._

"_Don't you got a doctor or something around here who can check us out?"_

"_No."_

"_Can't you call one? I'm in serious pain over here."_

"_You do not seem it."_

"_Oooh, ah, ah, ow, ooh, ah." Sands shrugged. He smirked, looking back at Charlie. "Sound familiar?"_

_Charlie glared at him._

_Charlie saw a woman wearing a suit come over and start speaking Spanish to which the cop replied. She walked over to Sands._

"_My Spanish is a little rusty."_

"_He's explaining to his sergeant there why we're making such a ruckus. They may work for Lupe but I don't think she does. Hey Mac, did you ever find shoes?"_

_Charlie frowned. "No."_

_Sands stamped on her foot._

"_Ow! Oh Jesus Christ!" She shouted, bending over in pain._

"_See?" Sands said to the sergeant. "She needs medical help."_

_The sergeant looked back at the cop. "Get them some first aid. Now."_

_She walked off and the cop gave Sands a dirty look before going to get the first aid kit._

_He turned back to Charlie. "We're getting out of…"_

_Charlie smacked him._

"_What was that for?" He frowned._

"_Fuck you." Charlie said, limping back to the bench._

_The cop came back with the kit and opened the cell door. He passed Sands and walked over to Charlie. He began opening the first aid kit as Sands came to sit next to Charlie. He listened very closely and when he was satisfied with his mappings, he sprang into action. He grabbed the cop's gun, quickly hitting him on the head with the butt of the gun, knocking him out. Sands grabbed Charlie, making her stand in front of him._

"_Alright!" Sands shouted. "Nobody move or I blow her fucking head off." _

_Charlie jumped when Sands heard a gun click and pointed his own gun in the direction and pulled the trigger, hitting another cop. He put the gun back to her head._

"_Drop your guns and kick them over to me."_

_Sands heard and Charlie saw them reluctantly do so after a nod from the sergeant. _

"_Lift your pant legs." Sands said. "I'm not an idiot."_

_They did so. _

"_Well?" Sands whispered to her._

"_No hidden guns."_

"_Good." She felt Sands force her to crouch down with him as he took the guns._

"_Where are you going to put all those?" Charlie whispered. _

"_Shush." He said, taking the guns and putting them in the middle of the cell where no one could reach them from the outside. He took another gun and put it behind his back, under his t-shirt._

"_Now, keys. To the cell and to a car."_

_He heard a jingle and then felt Charlie catch the keys as they were thrown to them._

_Now, I'm getting out of here." Sands said. "Anyone who tries to stop me and they'll kill her."_

_Sands began pushing her and realised that he was cluing her in to lead the way since he didn't know where he was going. Charlie, trying to make it look like he was forcing her, walked him out and he still had a grasp on her. When they were outside, Sands made Charlie lock the cell and effectively lock the guns out of reach. He then had her lead him to the exit._

"_If you follow us, I'll kill more people than just your cop buddy over there." Sands said, before hurrying out with Charlie still in his grasp. He heard the sergeant shout to get the cop he shot medical attention and to get the cell door broken open._

_They ran out of the police station and found the car that corresponded to their keys. They got in and Charlie sped off._

"_Jesus…"_

"_I told you I'd get us out of there."_

"_You shot a police officer."_

"_Who was going to hand us over to Lupe."_

"_She knows where we are now."_

"_Yeah, that's still a problem."_

"Why are you here? You can't do your job."

Charlie came back from the memory and looked up at Sands angrily. "The only reason I did not storm into your office and smack you was because I didn't want to be seen anywhere near you. So get out of my office."

"Ah, so you heard about my little altercation with Thompson."

"Jerrod spread the word pretty fast. Once the swelling to his lip went down, that is. Are you crazy?"

"That's what I'm told." Sands raised his eyebrows. "But that is by the voices in my head and I don't really trust them…"

"Why the hell would you attack those idiots just because they were talking about me?"

"I didn't like what they were saying."

"You've probably said worse about me! Why do you care what they say?"

"I was feeling territorial. I'm the only one allowed say horrible things about you behind your back."

"I would have thought you would be off doing that after last night rather than defending my honour." Charlie reminded.

"Can't disrespect last night." Sands shrugged. "You do revenge quite well."

_Better than you think._

Sands tried to shake any thoughts of him feeling the sting of last night a lot more than he should have.

"I threaten to call the cops on you and you respect that? You are crazy."

Sands frowned. "Your revenge was threatening me?"

"It wasn't revenge. It was just a fact. I didn't try to get revenge."

"Your revenge was having sex with me."

"How is sex revenge? Did you not enjoy it? Because you seemed to at the time." Charlie said with a raised eyebrow.

"But…You threw me out straight after."

"We were done. What did you want me to do? Ask you to wrap your arms around me while I drifted off to sleep? I'm not that pathetic, Sands. I realise that you're done with all the stuff that went down in Mexico but sex? Not that it'll be happening again but I didn't see you being done with that if I offered."

Sands was more shocked now than he was when he thought she was doing it for revenge. At least then it was malicious. Now, it was just…unfeeling. How did she come out of all this being the user?

"So why offer?"

"Like I said, I was feeling a little down and I wanted to feel better."

"By using me?"

"I wasn't using you. You got something out of it too. Now would you drop it? It's not happening again."

Sands put his hand to his heart overdramatically. "You mean I won't even get to have sex with you when you're blonde? But I hear they have so much more fun."

"How do you know I'm blonde?"

"Thompson."

"You beat Thompson up because he said I was blonde?"

"No because he said he'd fuck you if you weren't frigid."

"Oh, well I guess he won't be my next conquest after you if that's the case then."

Sands frowned. "You hear someone talking about you like that and you make jokes?"

"What do you want from me? To pat you on the back for sticking up for me against such meanies? To run down and shout at Thompson? I act like any of their bullshit gets to me and I'm just a whiny bitch who can't handle a joke about myself. Anyway, I couldn't give a fuck about what Thompson or Jerrod or any other one of those meatheads thinks of me in business or bed because at the end of the day, they're all down in their little cubicles and I'm up in the big office."

"Why are you blonde now?" Sands asked, trying to curb his desire to throw everything off her desk and throw her onto it, preferably sans clothing. Seriously, Charlie at work did nothing to stem his want.

"Because like you said, they have more fun. I think I'm owed a little of that. So, I went for a change. Lots of changes going on."

"What other changes are going on?"

"My location, for one."

This surprised Sands. "Wait, what?"

"I'm leaving." Charlie said. "Going somewhere warm and sunny and where it's easy to forget about how unbelievably downward my life has spiralled lately."

"Well, where are you going?"

"I'm not telling you. I'm not telling anyone. Just somewhere with sun, sand, sea and a lot of alcohol."

"Careful with the alcohol, Mac. Remember how easy it is for someone to take advantage. Not as easy as I thought it would be but some won't stop when you pass out."

"If you're trying to deter me, it's not working."

A knock on the door stopped Sands from replying.

"Come in." Charlie answered.

Melissa walked into the office. "Here are the files you asked for, Doctor Macintosh. All the doctors who were being considered before you got the job."

"Thank you." Charlie said, taking them.

"Oh, so I'm getting someone who wasn't as good as you?" Sands asked. "Yippee for me."

Charlie ignored him, looking up at Melissa. "And about the other thing I asked you to look into?"

"I checked up and I think I can get you a flight for when you asked." Melissa nodded. "I'll e-mail you the information before I go ahead with anything though."

"Thank you for that too."

"No problem. I've been there, it's really nice."

"I know. I used to…I've been there before." Charlie replied.

"Used to…?" Sands prodded.

"I used to have the ability to perform surgery." Charlie said icily.

"Where is this lovely little place?" Sands asked Melissa.

"Go to hell, asshole." She replied, storming out of the office.

Sands frowned at the answer. "Not what I was expecting."

Charlie nodded. "I may have told her I heard you telling the guys you thought she had a fat ass and was lousy in bed."

"I didn't say any of that."

"I know. I just told her you did."

"Why?"

"Revenge."

"I knew that'd come into the equation sooner or later."

"What can I say? It was a little irresistible."

"Hmmm, a little less of the 'sugar' I'm used to and more spice?"

"Do you ever try not to be cheesy?"

"No."

Charlie refrained from pointing that he didn't call he sugar anymore. "Like I said, a lot of change is going on. The old me wasn't working so I'm trying out something new."

"I think the old you was working just fine."

Charlie looked at him for a second. She wasn't expecting that. "Only when I'm in Mexico though, right?"

"Is that where you're going?"

"Yes, Sands. I'm going back to the place where I was kidnapped and will only remind me too quickly of everything I'm trying to forget."

"I have a feeling you're not just talking about me."

Charlie huffed. "Because I'm not."

"_Sands?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_We're in trouble." Charlie said, slowing the car down._

"_Why?"_

"_The road is blocked."_

"_Find somewhere else to…"_

"_By Lupe." Charlie stopped the car and looked at him. "I guess before they called for medical assistance, they called her."_

"_I told you shooting those cops wasn't deplorable." Sands said. "Well, better go face the music."_

"_Oh, they're coming to us."_

_The doors were opened and Sands and Charlie were pulled out by henchmen. _

"_Well, well, well, this is interesting." Lupe walked to them and looked Charlie over. "I knew it was only a matter of time before your clothes came off."_

_Charlie looked at her. "Never miss a trick, Lupe."_

"_I never knew being a smart mouth was a venereal disease but you seem to have caught it off that asshole." _

_Sands smiled sarcastically. "Lovely to see you again too, Lupe."_

"_I wish I could say the same." Lupe looked at her henchmen. "Get his gun."_

_Charlie felt herself get grabbed as they did the same to Sands and took his gun._

"_He's clean."_

"_Check her too." Lupe said when they found nothing on Sands._

"_You could tell you're an amateur." Sands said lazily. "Does it look like she has pockets?"_

"_How would you know about what to look for?" Lupe quipped._

"_Eh…Because it's my shirt?"_

"_I think you've checked that area enough." He heard Charlie say angrily. He didn't know what she area she was talking about but frankly, anyone's hands on her was a huge problem for him. _

"_Can never be too careful." He heard a henchman reply and he didn't need to see the slimy smirk to know it was there._

"_That's enough." Lupe said. "Although it is quite fun to see Agent Sands about to burst a blood vessel. But if she does not have a weapon, stop pawing at her."_

"_She's clean too." The henchman said._

"_Well, you two make my job so easy. Come on, take them to the jeep."_

"_Seriously," Sands said. "A child could organise a better murder than you."_

_Lupe rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with you now?"_

"_The cop car? It's being looked for and if it gets found abandoned on the side of the road, guess who's going to get looked for next? Me and her. That'll lead right back to you."_

_Charlie frowned at him. "You had to remind her of the car that is designed to hold people and not let them escape under any circumstances? Good one, Sands."_

"_I wasn't actually suggesting she put us in there." Sands said. "But now that you put it in her head…Thanks for that." _

"_Me? You brought it up in the first place!"_

"_That getting rid of it was a good idea, not putting us in the back."_

"_Shut up!" Lupe shouted. She thought about it. "Put them in the back of the police car and follow."_

_Charlie and Sands were dragged off and tossed into the back of the car._

"_Follow us out to the lake." Lupe said before getting into her own jeep. _

_Two henchmen got into the front of the police car where they saw Sands quite close to Charlie, looking like he was trying to make her feel better._

"_Hey, no funny business, you two." One said. "No one needs to see that."_

_They began driving and after a while, Sands spoke up._

"_Hey, where are we actually going?"_

"_The middle of nowhere." The guy driving replied. "So no one can ever find your bodies."_

"_Oh God." Charlie huddled over at the thought._

"_Yeah, nothing to do now but count down the minutes and hope it's quick." The guy in the passenger seat replied._

_Lupe got to the lake first and waited. When the police car showed up, she braced herself. Kill them, dump the bodies and the car and she'd be done. She'd never have to deal with any of this again._

_The two were pulled out of the back of the police car._

"_Him first." Lupe said. She had to really brace herself to kill Charlie. That girl hadn't done anything wrong until Lupe took her._

_Sands was dragged forward and forced to his knees in front of Lupe so she could shoot him in the back of the head._

"_This is for my daughter."_

_Sands heard her behind him. "You know, it's usually to the back of the head in these situations so you don't have to look in someone's eyes. What's your excuse? Cause let's face it, with me, it ain't that."_

"_Even now you make jokes?"_

"_Comedy always diffuses tense situations."_

"_Well it'll please me to know that even in your last moments, you failed to do anything right. Goodbye, Agent Sands."_

_Sands heard a gunshot._

_And then another gunshot._

_And then another._

_None of them were at him as he also heard three bodies fall to the floor._

_Lupe turned quickly and saw her henchmen dead and Charlie pointing a gun at her._

"_How?" Lupe asked._

"_You would check me when I'm wearing nothing but a shirt but you wouldn't check the police car? He was right, you are awful at this." Charlie said. _

"_You wouldn't." Lupe shook her head._

"_You were just about to kill the two of us!" Charlie said. "This is self-defence."_

"_I thought you understood! He killed my only child!"_

"_And what did I do?" Charlie frowned. "Nothing. We have gone past this being revenge, Lupe. This is now about killing us to save yourself. Well, that's what it is for me too."_

"_I need him dead. I'll let you go but I need him dead. You can go back to the States, I will make it happen. You can go back and continue your life and I will continue mine. None of us should be pointing a gun at each other when he is the murderer. It is him that deserves to die, not you and not me. So let me kill him. A life for a life."_

_Charlie looked at her. The woman was completely broken, completely lost. She wasn't a murderer. Sands had pointed it out enough times but now looking at her, Charlie was really getting it. This woman didn't have a clue what she was doing because she wasn't a bad person. She was just a mother who got no justice and had been pushed to the brink. And it was Sands' fault. Charlie may not have liked that thought but it was. Yes, it was kill or be killed and Ajedrez made her choice but Lupe never did. Lupe never wanted that for her daughter._

"_Please." Lupe said, tears in her eyes._

_Charlie lowered her gun. "I'm going to help you."_

"_What?" Sand said, shocked. "Charlie! Don't do that!"_

"_Thank you." Lupe said, turning back to Sands._

"_Charlie!"_

"_I'm going to send you to your daughter."_

_Sands heard a gunshot and a body fall to the floor._

_He waited for a few seconds._

"_Charlie?"_

"_Yeah?"_

_He could hear her breath was ragged. He got up and tried to make his way over to her without tripping over any bodies but did on the second henchman. Charlie caught him, dropping the gun._

"_Are you alright?"_

"_I'm…I'm fine." Charlie said though she was clearly crying._

"_You just saved my life."_

_Charlie shook her head. "I just killed a woman who was…It was just her daughter…"_

_Sands took her into his arms as Charlie broke down._

"_You saved a life, that's what you do."_

_Charlie just kept crying._

"Hey, it wasn't all bad." Sands shrugged. "You didn't even need counselling afterwards."

"Because I turned it down." Charlie pointed out. "The minute I heard about my wrist, they tried to put me under suicide watch, let alone counselling. If they found out I was the one who killed Lupe…"

"Well they won't. We told them I did it and it's staying that way."

Charlie was silent.

"You're not still…distraught over that, are you?" He asked.

"I made my decision. I'm living with it." Charlie said. "No one forced that gun into my hand."

"Well, technically..."

_The two were shoved into the police car._

"_How did that work?" Charlie whispered when the door was slammed shut behind them._

"_Lupe isn't a mob boss." Sands replied. "She's making this up as she goes. She doesn't have a clue. I, on the other hand, have experience in these situations. Besides, I made a good point. She doesn't have that sergeant in her pocket. That means an actual investigation is going to take place around all this business. Lupe can't have any traces back to her so she can't let this car be found."_

"_Yeah, but I didn't think reverse psychology would actually work."_

_Sands smirked. "They why'd you do it?"_

"_We're about to die, that calls for any and every technique to get out of here."_

"_Well look under the seat and…" Sands heard the front doors to the car open so leaned in to whisper in her ear. "And you'll find a very handy technique."_

"_No funny business, you two." The man up the front said. "Nobody needs to see that."_

_They began to drive and Charlie looked down to see under the seat in front of her, the seat Sands had previously occupied, lay the second gun Sands had taken from the police station. He must have thrown it under there before they got out of the car._

"_Hey, where are we going?"_

"_To the middle of nowhere. So no one can ever find your bodies."_

"_Oh God." Charlie pretended to huddle over in fear and discreetly grabbed the gun…_

"No. I made the decision to kill Lupe." Charlie said. "It was her or you."

"Bet you're regretting that decision now, huh?"

Charlie frowned up at him. "Of course not."

Sands was silent for a few seconds. It would have been easier if she had gone along with that but he was glad she didn't. "So, when are you going on this little trip?"

Charlie didn't answer.

"Well?"

"When you're in the hospital."

Sands sat up. "Wait, you're not going to be there when I'm having my surgery?"

"No."

"But I need you there!"

"Sands, you don't need me for anything."

"You're my doctor!"

"I was! I'm not anymore. And it won't make a difference where I am when you're getting your eyes."

"Charlie, don't do this to me. I have been depending on you for this. Even if you can't do the surgery yourself, I need you to watch over whoever does."

"Sands, trust me…"

"Trust you? Because you're giving me such reason to?"

"I've never given you reason not to." Charlie frowned.

"I'm talking to you as a doctor now, Mac. If it weren't me, would you be doing this?"

"This isn't about you, Sands. You're getting what you need and I'm just trying to do the same. Why shouldn't I be allowed do that? If you regain your sight, that will be amazing but, and I'm sorry if this sounds selfish, I can't watch someone else accomplish that."

"Well, at least I can feel better about one thing." Sands said, getting up.

"And what's that?" Charlie asked as he walked to the door.

"I made the right choice about you." He replied, walking out and slamming the door behind him.

* * *

**So that's the end of Lupe. Looks like Charlie is trying to come to terms with that too. And Sands does have his reasons for owing her! His life being the main one =P**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	25. Past And Present

**Here's Chapter 25!**

"Sands, get your ass in here today."

"You know what Trev? Since I don't do anything in that office and someone is trying to kill me there, I think I'm going to stay home, 'kay?"

"No, not 'kay. Your new doctor is here and Charlie needs you to meet him so put on your happy face and get in here. And no one is trying to kill you."

"Oh, so you did get my messages?"

Trevor huffed. "No but…"

"Because someone deleted them. You know what? Consider the fact that someone was trying to harm your precious doctor and then maybe you'll give a rat's ass."

"Why do you hate Charlie now? You were beating up people who said anything about her a few days ago!"

"That was before I found out what a terrible doctor she was."

"If she's a terrible doctor then you should consider yourself lucky not to be her patient anymore."

"I meant ethically!"

"Oh, so you're saying she's an awful person? You think she's terrible?"

_No._

"Yes."

"Do you ever think about how hard this is on her?"

_Yes._

"No."

"Sands…"

"It's not my problem to think of how awful things are for her, Trevor. It's my job to think about me! And I'm getting the pretty shitty end of the stick here."

"No, you're not! You are getting everything you want! She is getting nothing of what she wanted! She is getting the opposite! Her life is a disaster area!"

Sands' eyebrows shot up. He didn't even know the half of it.

"_Yes!"_

_Sands had finally found what he'd been craving for so long._

_A packet of cigarettes on one of the henchmen. He'd even found a lighter in the same pocket._

"_Oh my God," Sands said, taking a drag of the cigarette. "This is better than…Well, not sex but pretty damn close."_

"_I didn't think you were a heavy smoker." Charlie said. She was still crying though only lightly now. "I've only seen you do it a few times."_

_Sands came to sit next to her on the hood of the police car. "Yeah, well I remembered you telling me about your grandfather dying from these things and since I was trying to get you into bed, I decided to not do something you hate right in front of you."_

"_Is that consideration?"_

"_Careful planning." _

_Ah." Charlie said, nodding her head. "I only said about my grandfather in passing. And we had just met. How did you remember that?"_

"_It's my job to take every detail into account."_

_Charlie was a bit touched. Yeah, he said he didn't do it because it'd hurt his chances of sex with her but the more hopeful side of her thought that just maybe, he didn't want to upset her._

"_Stop being crazy yet?"_

_Her hopeful side shut itself down. Charlie dried her eyes with her sleeve as they sat on the hood of the police car. "Is that you're jackass way of asking am I okay?"_

"_Sure, why not?"_

"_I'm fine." Charlie said, rolling her eyes. _

"_Good. Because we're not done."_

_Charlie frowned. "What?"_

"_Mac, we gotta hide those bodies. The cops are still after us and I think this would only fuel the fire."_

_Charlie sighed. "Great."_

"_Charlie, would you stop beating yourself up over this? They were the bad guys, you had no choice, you're still a good person, something, something, something…"_

_Charlie wanted to hit him. "Stop. You are literally the last person in the world who should try to make me feel better._

"_What? Why?"_

"_Because you don't think I did anything to feel bad about!"_

"_You didn't!"_

"_Not to me! I save lives and I ended the life of a woman who went insane with grief because her child died."_

"_Yes! Insane! She was going to kill me! And you! She did everything in her power to make sure you died!" Sands got off the car and stood in front of her. "I am not going to try and make you feel better because the way I see it, or know it anyway; there is nothing to feel better about. You save lives? You saved mine tonight but that seems to mean absolutely nothing."_

"_Of course it does."_

"_Then why not focus on that?"_

"_Because…I don't know. I feel worse about killing four people than I feel good about saving one life."_

"_Thanks, sugar. I feel touched."_

"_Sands, you know I'm glad you're safe. It's the reason I did what I did."_

"_Would you do it again?"_

_Charlie frowned. "What? How could you ask me that?"_

"_Just can. Would you? Gun to my head, would you?"_

"_I…Yes, but…"_

"_But nothing. You don't regret what you did because it was the right thing to do."_

_Charlie shook her head and stood up. "Alright, let's just get of these…"_

_She was surprised when Sands stopped her from walking past him and kissed her._

"_Why did you just do that?" Charlie asked._

_Sands smirked. "Because you saved my life. And because, you know, we never finished in the car so I haven't done it in a while. Why? It make you feel better?"_

"_Kinda."_

"_See? I can make you feel better."_

"Sands, are you listening to me?"

Sands came back to the present. "Huh?"

"She's not even a doctor at the moment!" Trevor said again. "Your case is being transferred and that means Charlie can do what she likes and go where she wants. If someone is trying to kill you, maybe far away from you is her best option since she's been in that situation before and it hasn't done her any favours."

"Always know how to cheer a guy up, Trev."

"I'm not trying to cheer you up. I'm trying to make you have some common sense. Charlie is not your doctor anymore through no fault of her own and that means she doesn't have to be there for your surgery and no one in the CIA is trying to kill you because a few messages accidentally got deleted."

"Accidentally? You don't know it was accidental."

"Sands, you are being paranoid. Just get in here and meet this new doctor."

"Why do I need to meet the guy?"

"Because you do. Hurry up."

Trevor hung up and Sands huffed. Ever since he found out Charlie wasn't going to be around for the surgery, he hadn't gone back to work, preferring to sulk at home and make her feel bad. She hadn't contacted him since then so he didn't know if it was working but knowing her, it was. Although the thought that a new doctor had been picked was a little daunting. It meant the surgery would be happening within a day or two and that meant he was a day or two closer to being disappointed when it didn't work out.

_It could work. _

Sands didn't like 'could'. He wanted definitely and the only person he'd get that with was Charlie.

"_Thank God that's done."_

_Sands nodded. "No one is finding those bodies."_

_Charlie looked from the lake where the police car and one of the jeeps, both filled with dead bodies now were to Sands. "You're sure?"_

"_Sugar, I've hidden enough bodies that I could do it with my eyes closed. Which when you think about it…"_

"_But what if someone comes through here and…?"_

"_They won't. If Lupe was planning on killing us here, it's secluded. No one's coming by here on a daily basis."_

_To be honest, they were risking too much for Charlie to feel safe and like a despicable human being. But she didn't have a choice._

"_Okay."_

_Sands heard the tiredness in her voice. "It's nearly over."_

_Charlie smiled though it was melancholic. "No, it isn't. It's not nearly over until we're back in America."_

"_Charlie, they're dead. It's done."_

"_It's not done. We still have the cops looking for us, we don't have passports, we have no money because what we did have was taken off us, we have a jeep that if anyone pulls over and searches will reveal that we have like seven stolen guns, we have nowhere to go…"_

"_Across the border. Isn't that reason we kept Lupe's jeep and dumped the cop car so we wouldn't be recognised?"_

"_Border Control and once again, we don't have passports and they're probably after being alerted by the police about us. Going back into the city we came from is like strapping a bull's eye to our forehead for the cops…"_

"_You know where the safest place we could possibly hide out right now is?"_

"_Where?"_

"_Lupe's place."_

_Charlie's eyes widened. "Absolutely not! Sands, we cannot kill a woman and then set up home in her house."_

"_Why not? She wanted us there. To kill us. It's the last place the cops would think to look for us. It might not be your ideal spot, but Charlie; it's our only secure location in this country. You must know how to get back there from where we've been driving."_

"_Well yeah but…"_

"_Charlie, trust me."_

_Now that was asking a lot. No one in the world could trust Sands. No one. He had manipulated every situation to make it that way. So he didn't know if asking Charlie to trust him would necessarily do any good. But she could. He didn't know if she knew that but she was the only person in the world that could._

"_Charlie…"_

"_Okay." She agreed quietly. _

"_Okay? You trust me?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_Really? Why?"_

_Charlie frowned. "What?"_

"_Well…No one can trust me."_

"_Oh my God, Sands! What the hell are you doing to me?" Charlie said desperately._

"_Right, sorry. No, you're right to. I will get us out of this country."_

_Charlie sighed. "I hope I'm not wrong in trusting you."_

"_Trust me, you're not. I'll get us out of here. It's just…You know…" Sands muttered. "You'll have to do all the driving and finding out where we are and making sure we don't get spotted by the cops and stuff but other than that, I'll take care of everything."_

_Charlie looked at him tiredly. _

"_Mac? Have you realised you're doing all the heavy lifting and run off, leaving me here to die?"_

"_No, Sands." Charlie said, taking his hand and leading him to the jeep. "I'm still here. You can count on me, like always."_

_Sands smirked. "Now that's the kind of doctor you want."_

"_Sands?"_

"_Yeah, sugar?"_

"_I just killed four people. Please don't remind me that I'm a doctor just right now."_

"_Sorry, sugar. Just saying, you always get the job done."_

Sands got up.

"Come on Buster, we got work to do." Sands said and Buster got up too, following him.

* * *

"Okay, where is this hack?"

Charlie looked up when Sands entered her office. "Not here yet. And please don't call him a hack when he does get here."

"He's not here yet?"

"He'll be here later. Which means you don't have to be here till later." Charlie walked over to her door and opened it. "So you can go."

"Actually, we're not done. I want to talk to you about the other day." Sands said.

"No," Charlie shook her head. "It'll only make it worse, Sands. Let's just forget about it."

"Forget about it? You're ditching me, I can't forget about it."

"Wait," Charlie said. "You're not here to apologise about what you said to me?"

"Have we met?"

"Go away."

"Wait." Sands said, holding up a hand.

"What?" Charlie asked. "Sands, I'm not staying. I'm going when I decided and you're not going to convince me otherwise."

"I just don't see why you can't wait until I'm out of the hospital! And I can't see that because I'm blind, something I don't want to keep being because I had a hack doctor!"

"You won't have a hack doctor because I found the right guy! Now, leave!"

Sands huffed and walked out and Charlie looked after him before closing the door and returning to her table. She was having a hard time being around him more and more.

_No, that's just letting him get to me._

_That's because he does get to me! I can't help it but he does. I can try as hard as I want but nothing will change the fact that he gets to me now._

_Well, that has to change. That's why I'm leaving. I was an idiot for ever letting him get in like that._

_I can't help it. I fall for the wrong men._

_Maybe they choose me too…_

_No! Sands does not care about me. I can't think any different._

_He attacked another agent for talking about me! Why do that?_

_Sands has said himself that he doesn't want me. Just for sex. That's not happening. I need to stay single for a while. Men make me weak. They're the problem._

Charlie picked up her phone when it rang. "Charlotte Macintosh."

"Charlie? I need to see you."

Charlie frowned. "Barry? Why are you calling me?"

"Look, I need to talk to you. Can I see you tonight?"

"I'm really busy, Barry."

"Please. I booked a table at…"

"No, I'm sorry. I can't. And you shouldn't be calling me and asking me to meet you, Barry. I told you that it's time both of us move on. Goodbye."

Charlie hung up the phone.

_Great._

_Now I'm the cause and recipient of getting your heart stamped on._

_Yeah, well Barry needs to let go._

_Wow, you're sounding almost as sensitive as Sands._

Charlie groaned. Being like Sands was the last thing she wanted. The man was despicable.

"_Okay, we're here. I feel awful."_

_Charlie looked at the gates of the now empty and dark mansion. _

"_How do we get in?"_

_She was shocked when she saw Sands hold up a pair of keys with a few devices on it. _

"_You robbed them? You robbed dead people? You robbed dead Lupe?"_

"_What? She didn't need money, we did! And I knew we'd need to the keys."_

"_You're deplorable."_

"_You see, this is why I didn't rob you her shoes."_

Charlie nodded. Completely despicable. She had no reason to want to be with him. Hell, she was the only person who had ever liked him!

"_Where's that phone? That you had no problem taking." _

_Charlie reached into the backseat and picked up the phone Sands had taken off Lupe. "To save our lives."_

_Sands started pushing the buttons on the set of keys. "Dial Trevor's number."_

_Charlie did so seeing the gate begin to open. "His machine again? Why is this man never in his office anymore?" She heard the beep. "Trevor? It's Charlie. Look, I don't know if you've heard Sands' last message but it doesn't matter because we're not at the motel anymore. We are still in Mexico though and we'd like to go home so please come down here and get us? We're in __Querétaro. Just call me back when you get this and hurry up."__Charlie hung up and turned to Sands. "Now what?"_

"_Dial this number." _

_Sands listed out the numbers and Charlie dialled, handing it over when she pressed the call button and began to drive up to the entrance._

_Sands smiled when the call was answered. "Ramirez, guess who's back in town."_

_Charlie's eyebrows shot up when she heard shouting on the other side of the phone. She could only make out so much._

"_What the hell are you doing back in my country?"_

"_Calm down." Sands said, feeling the car come to a stop. "I didn't plan on coming back here myself. Did you know Barillo had a wife? Oh, you did. You couldn't have warned me? Well, you were wrong. She was still a problem. Well, not anymore, she's dead now." More shouting. "I will have you know I didn't actually kill her. I had nothing to do with that. Ow!"_

"_What happened?" Ramirez frowned at Sands' shout of pain._

"_The woman I'm with just hit me." Sands turned to Charlie. "He says well done. Ramirez, listen to me. Barillo's crazy ass wife had her goons come to America and bring us here. We've had a hectic few days and now the only reason I am calling you is because I know you're the only person who'll do whatever he can to make sure I get the hell out of your country."_

_Charlie saw Sands smile again._

"_See you soon. Well, I won't but you know…" Sands took the phone away from his ear. "He hung up."_

"_I wonder why." Charlie said shortly, getting out of the car._

_Sands got out too. "What'd I do now?"_

"_You had nothing to do with Lupe's murder? You weren't involved?"_

"_First of all, it wasn't murder." Charlie snatched the keys off him to go and open the door. "Murder is cold blooded and you were acting in self-defence. Second of all, if I told Ramirez that Lupe was killed so that I didn't die, he wouldn't have helped because he would have considered it making things worse. Me not dying is one thing, him helping the person who saved my life? That might be pushing him over the edge. He's not my biggest fan."_

"_I got that." Charlie frowned, taking his hand and leading him inside. _

Even when he was trying to be helpful, he was awful.

"_Well, at least someone is coming to help us."_

"_Well, he won't be here till tomorrow."_

"_Tomorrow?" Charlie asked frantically. "Like tomorrow as in the sun is only beginning to come up so tomorrow which is really today or tomorrow as in we have to spend another day and night trying not to get killed?"_

"_Well, he's in Culiacan. That's a long drive, sugar. Tomorrow night at the earliest. But we'll be safe here. No one knows Lupe is dead so no one knows to look for us here."_

"_Ugh, why the hell did Lupe have to move so far from her ex-husband? No wonder he was able to corrupt her daughter, the woman didn't even live in the same city!"_

"_Uh, sugar? Not that I want to defend the batshit crazy harpy who tried to kill me but I really don't think distance was the problem. Ajedrez could have had her own private jet fly her out to her mother. Lupe's fault? Not really."_

_Charlie was still for a second before punching him in the arm with a lot of force._

"_Ow!"_

"_You asshole! The one thing I'm mean about and you have to stand up for her? I feel awful enough without you weighing in! I killed the woman tonight, Sands! I'm a little on the edge so stop trying to piss me off or I'm going to be my fifth victim!"_

_The two stayed in silence for a while._

"_So, our first fight…"_

"_Shut up, Sands."_

Charlie was right. Completely right to try and stay away from him.

_He was so infuriating that night. He didn't even consider my feelings about what had just happened._

_You know that's not true. Especially later that night._

Charlie tried not to go back to the memories of later that night if she wanted to continue her mental barrage of Sands.

_Sands was still awake as he lay in bed so when he heard his door creak open, he aimed the gun quickly._

"_Wait! It's me."_

_Sands lowered the gun with a frown. "Charlie?"_

_Charlie walked over to the bed. "Yeah, just me."_

"_What are you doing in here?"_

"_I was…hoping…I could stay in here? With you?"_

"_Oh. I thought that was the last thing you wanted. You know, because you said so. Right after you called me a blind bastard and stormed off."_

"_Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." She said. "But…It's just…I gotta admit, I'm a little scared in there on my own. I'm just a little shaken about everything that's happened and then there's still a threat out there and with the cops and…"_

"_Charlie, get into the bed." Sands said, cutting off her quick talking._

"_Thank you."_

_Charlie got under the covers with him and felt instantly safer when she had Sands' arms around her from behind. She didn't know why since Sands probably had the highest kill rate of anyone she'd ever met. _

"_You know, you have a gun so there's really nothing to be scared of. You're the one people should be scared of." Sands pointed out._

"_I think I've done enough killing for one night." Charlie said, trying to make her voice sound light but not really pulling it off._

"_You did what you had to. Ain't no shame in that."_

_Charlie frowned. "Where are you from?"_

_Sands raised an eyebrow at that. It wasn't what he was expecting. "Excuse me?"_

"_Where do you come from? Where did you grow up?"_

"_What does that matter?"_

"_I sometimes hear lilts in your accent but I can't place it. I just want to know."_

"_Wouldn't that information be in my file? Something you've claimed to have gone over?"_

"_You wouldn't believe how much the CIA doesn't trust anyone. I got your medical information and your school and police records. Your personal life? That's a mystery to everyone in the CIA except you, the bosses and God."_

"_I don't think the big guy passed the training exam."_

_Charlie smiled. "So, will you tell me?"_

_Sands was silent for a second. "No."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because it doesn't matter."_

"_I'd still like to know."_

"_Sorry, sugar. That information is private for a reason. The same reason I had to get rid of any hint of an accent in the first place."_

"_You don't trust me?"_

_Sands thought about that. Did he?_

"_I trust you. It's just…The past is the past. I want to focus on the present, being here with a beautiful woman in my arms."_

"_You want to focus on the present? Sands, our lives are in danger and we're in a dead woman's bed."_

"_I'm choosing to focus on the positive?"_

"_Which is?" Charlie really couldn't think of it herself._

"_I finally got you."_

Charlie sighed.

"Damnit…"

* * *

"What do you want?" Melissa said shortly after being called to Sands' office.

"Hey Mel."

Melissa rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"

"Oh come on," Sands said, sitting back in his chair. "Don't let our good times go out the window because of some rumour."

"One last time, what do you want?" Melissa repeated.

"Tell me where Mac is going."

Melissa chuckled and shook her head. "How fitting. You actually fall for the one woman around here you can't get."

Sands refrained from clarifying that he'd already had Charlie. "Does that mean you're still hot on me?"

"Not anymore. I've learned my lesson."

"Why are you pissed at me? I didn't do anything. I didn't say any of that shit about you. I'm the last person to say your ass is fat, I can't see it."

"You think I'm pissed over some office gossip? Maybe it's to do with the fact that you haven't wanted anything to do with me since you got back from Mexico."

Sands resisted groaning. "I've been a bit busy. You know you're still my favourite person around here. And out of here."

_So fucking tell me where Charlie is going and get out!_

Melissa raised an eyebrow. "Really? You told me that when you got back from Mexico that you would get serious about us."

_I didn't think I was coming back from Mexico and it was the quickest way to get you to shut up and into bed!_

"I didn't think I was an option after the blindness…" Sands made up, trying to sound insecure.

"Oh…You did?"

He tried not to smirk. "Of course. It's just…I needed time to adjust and I didn't want to put you through that."

"Oh, wow."

Sands nodded and perked up. "So can you tell me where Charlie is going?"

"Fuck you!" Melissa said angrily, going to storm out.

"Come on, Melissa! I need to know in case I need to call her for medical…stuff."

Melissa smirked, deciding to have her own fun and turned back to him. "It's somewhere hot."

"I knew that."

"I'm not talking about the weather." Melissa said. "Let's just say she won't be lonely at night if she doesn't want to be. Lots of…"

"That's enough."

Melissa turned when she heard Charlie's voice and saw the woman standing at the door. She began walking into the office.

"Sands, I told you it wasn't any of your business." She looked at Melissa. "And I told you not to make it anyone's business."

Melissa looked back to Charlie. "I didn't. All he knows is that there's quite a nice selection. Make sure to take advantage." She said, trying to annoy Sands.

Charlie was about to point out that the last thing she was looking for was a hook up but realised she had Sands listening in intently and he had screwed her over. "Well, I'm not going there to "take advantage" but I have to admit, with how shit everything's been lately, I don't think I'd turn it down. It'd be nice to have fun for a change."

She tried to resist smirking when she saw Sands' jaw tense.

"Believe me," Melissa said. "You won't regret it over there."

"You can leave now, Melissa." Sands said.

Melissa glared at him before leaving the office.

"So, judging by Melissa's clues, I'm going to guess Mexico helped with your next career choice and you really are becoming a prostitute?"

"It wouldn't be anything to you if I did. Stop trying to find out where I'm going or what I'm doing there."

"The cabana boy from the sounds of it. Sweet revenge, huh?"

"That wouldn't be revenge, that would be a stress reliever. Something I am in desperate need of."

Sands could feel the jealousy coursing through his veins at the thought. "If only you were like that. But you're not."

"No, I would never hook up with someone in a hotel room for a night. Never done that before."

"It wasn't just a night. It was a week."

Charlie smirked. "You don't know how long I'll be gone for."

"You still wouldn't hook up with a random guy."

"You don't know anything about me."

"Oh really, little miss prima ballerina?"

"Shut up, Sands."

Sands smirked.

"_I got a question for you actually."_

"_Oh?" Charlie asked._

"_How did you get on Lupe's good side? She actually seemed to like you."_

_Charlie sighed. "Manipulation. I saw a picture of Ajedrez as a child, she was wearing ballet shoes and a tutu so I told Lupe that I used to be a dancer."_

"_Lying to make you seem more like her daughter. Devious but smart, Mac."_

"_Who said it was a lie?"_

"_Are you? A dancer? Or were you?"_

"_The past is the past, remember, Sands? You don't need to know."_

_Sands smirked. "I should have realised before. You're good in bed."_

_Charlie smiled. "That's a myth, Sands."_

"_I know. Jeez, you try to pay a girl a compliment…"_

"I learned a lot that night. Remember that night, Mac?"

"Vaguely." Charlie sighed, having enough. "Come on."

Sands frowned at Charlie's voice. "What?"

"Your new doctor is here. You're going to meet him."

"Oh." Sands got up. "Right. Let's go make a good first impression."

"I really hope you're serious about that."

* * *

"Doctor Hobbs." Charlie said, walking into the office. The man stood as she and Sands came up to him. "I'd like you to meet Agent Sheldon Sands."

"Agent Sands," Hobbs said, holding out a hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Yeah, you too." Sands replied, not at all enthusiastically.

Hobbs kept his hand held out.

"He's blind." Charlie pointed out. "He can't see that you're doing that."

"Doing what?" Sands frowned.

"Very sorry." Hobbs said. "I was just holding my hand out for a handshake. Didn't…"

"Know I was blind and couldn't see it?" He turned to Charlie. "Great choice, Mac. He forgot why he was here."

"Oh no, no, no." Hobbs said quickly. "No forgetting here. I just…"

"Are a moron?"

"Sands…" Charlie said in a warning voice.

"Sorry." Sands said, not meaning it one bit but for Charlie's benefit although she knew he didn't mean it either. "So, you have a background in this area?"

"I'm very confident that I can perform this surgery without any problems."

"So was she." Sands said. "She still practised. You been anywhere near those nifty little simulators?"

"Sands, he just got here." Charlie said.

"Why are you talking as if I'm asking awkward questions? The man is going to be operating on my face."

"No, he's right." Hobbs said. "Agent Sands, I plan on spending a lot of time on those machines and I would not have agreed to do this surgery if I wasn't sure I could."

"Be careful, that's what she said."

Charlie closed her eyes in frustration.

"I also plan on speaking a lot with Doctor Macintosh about her plans and methods…"

"So you can steal those too?"

"Sands, that's enough." Charlie said before turning to Hobbs. "I am so sorry. He's just…antsy about the surgery."

"I'm antsy over the fact that I was depending on her succeeding all this time and I kinda got used to that. Now, I have to work with you and I don't know anything about you. I generally don't take well to people I don't know, once again, cutting into my face."

"Could you give us a moment please?" Charlie asked Hobbs.

"Of course."

He left the office.

"What the hell are you doing?" Charlie said. "Stop."

"Stop what? I'm not doing anything."

"You're being an asshole to someone I worked very hard to find. Sands, he's the best."

"No, you're the best."

"I can't do it! You have to stop thinking this is my choice!"

"I don't think that! I am just pissed!"

"Well don't piss off the person who is taking over too! It won't help anything!"

"Oh come on, do you hear how smug he sounded? He couldn't care less that he's stamping over everyone to just waltz in here and get…"

"Not everyone! Not even you!"

"But you!"

"You don't have to worry about that."

"I'm not worried. I just don't like the sound of that guy."

"You're not going to like the sound of anyone. But, Sands? You don't have to deal with him. I do. You just have to get drugged up and then you don't have to talk the person ever again."

"He's still going to be operating on me."

"And he'll be good at it! I made sure to find someone who would! I worked really, really hard so would you please stop chasing him away?"

Sands huffed. "Fine. I'll be nice."

"Thank you." Charlie opened the door and let Hobbs come back in. "Sorry about that."

"It's quite alright." He said. "I understand how difficult this all must be. The two of you are in a terrible situation and I only hope to improve things."

Sands scoffed. "Could you sound any more like a dick?"

"Sands!"

* * *

"So it was okay?"

"Well, okay as it can be with Sands." Charlie sighed. "Which means Hobbs didn't run out of here screaming and is still alive. I think that was the best we could hope for."

Trevor nodded. "I was wrong in assuming blood would be spilt so I'm happy."

"I just don't get it." Charlie said. "This guy is here to help Sands, why is he being so ungrateful? Not to mention, hard to work with when everyone is working to get him what he wants?"

"Because what Sands wants is you and he can't get that."

Charlie wanted to laugh at that, Sands wanting her and not being able to get her. Trevor may not know anything, much to his vehemence but his words had a habit of always fitting perfectly.

"So he's doing what he always does, lashing out like a child." Trevor went on. "He stormed back home the minute your little meeting was over."

"Well, it's done now. The next time Hobbs has to be near Sands is when he'll be unconscious."

"If only we could all be so lucky." Trevor smirked, getting up and leaving her office.

The next day, the day before Sands' surgery, Charlie was rereading Hobbs' file. She couldn't help her eyes constantly flicking towards the plane ticket on her desk. In a few hours, she was out of here. She hoped she was making the right decision.

She rolled her eyes when her phone rang. She wasn't going to answer it, thinking it was Barry as he'd been calling her again and again but she then realised it was her office and not her cell.

"Charlie Macintosh."

"Doctor Macintosh? This is Jill from Dogs' For Duty. We've just been informed that one of our pets', Buster, will soon be returning to us. We just want to verify if it's true."

Charlie's eyes widened. Sands wouldn't give that dog back in a million years.

"Where did you get this information?"

"We received a message from one of your assistants telling us about the planned transplant. While great news for Agent Sands, we feel it's only fair that Buster goes to a home he's needed in."

_Sands needs him! Buster is the only thing he ever shows real affection to. Not that I'm bitter or anything…Hell, I love that dog too._

"Well, a lot could still go wrong with the surgery and it's not one hundred per cent guaranteed if the transplant will be successful."

"Be that as it may, we think it might be better to retrieve the dog before Agent Sands actually sees him, that way he won't be too attached."

"He doesn't need to see the dog to be attached to him. They've been together for two months, nonstop. He loves that dog, I can't believe you're just going to take him away. I mean, Buster loves Agent Sands too."

"Doctor Macintosh, I realise that it will be hard but we simply can't let Buster stay in an environment where his skills aren't put to use."

_He's a dog, not a machine. He's happy where he is._

"So, you're going to take the dog away when Agent Sands is still blind? That seems completely unprofessional."

"Well, isn't he going into hospital tomorrow? That's what your assistant said. Agent Sands won't even have time to miss Buster."

"But..."

"Doctor Macintosh, we were only calling to let you know. We hope the surgery is successful. Goodbye."

The woman hung up and Charlie put down the phone.

"Little bitch."

* * *

"Sands? It's Charlie, can you open the door?"

The door flung open and Charlie saw a furious looking Sands.

"Oh no, they took him already, didn't they?"

"Oh, yeah. About an hour ago. They just came in and took my dog!" Sands walked over to his couch and Charlie walked into the apartment and closed the door behind her before going to join Sands on the couch.

"I told them that they shouldn't take Buster but..."

"Doesn't matter now, does it? He's gone." Sands snapped and Charlie stopped talking.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I'm perfect, right as rain. Don't you have a flight to catch?" He really didn't want her there so she could just sit and watch him wallow. He preferred to do that on his own and she couldn't do anything anyway so what was the point?

"Yeah, I do. I just wanted to see how you were." She said, rising from the couch and putting her bag on her shoulder.

"Well now you know. Goodbye."

Charlie nodded; she hadn't really expected him to be cordial. But she knew deep down he was hurt that Buster was gone. She bent down and kissed him on his cheek to show him she understood and walked out of the apartment, leaving Sands alone.

"_Next non-invasive question."_

_Charlie smiled. "I have to ask, how do you do it?"_

"_Do what?"_

"_Except for a few occasional occurrences," Charlie said. "You move effortlessly. You're blind and you knock into less things than I do."_

_Sands was silent for a second. "Buster."_

"_Really?"_

"_That dog has saved my life, not to mention my dignity, a gargantuan amount of times."_

_Charlie smiled. "You love him, don't you?"_

"_Love is a very strong word. It does not apply to me and…anything. Okay, maybe the dog. But I do not use the word love."_

"_That does not surprise me."_

"_But for Buster, I'll make an exception."_

* * *

Later that evening, Sands was lounging on his couch, doing nothing but thinking about Buster.

Okay, that was a lie. Charlie was getting in there too. She was on a plane right now getting as far away from him as possible.

_Buster and Charlie. The two good things in my life. Gone._

_Because I'm getting eyes._

Sands huffed. "Karma, you bitch."

Buster and Charlie…Both gone…

The only two beings in his life that had ever tried to help him. Not to mention, succeeded…

"_So it was just Buster?" Charlie asked. "The secret to your flawless techniques for your smooth moves?"_

"_And hell of a lot of rehab."_

_Charlie frowned. "You never worked in rehab."_

"_That doesn't mean I didn't practise. Hours and hours of just trying to do everything you harped on about and I pretended not to listen to. That stuff actually works."_

"_I know! That's why I tried to get you to do it!"_

"_I did! I just didn't tell you."_

"_Why not?"_

"_I didn't want to seem weak."_

"_But you don't mind it now?"_

"_Like you said, I mastered it so I'm obviously not that much of a failure."_

_Charlie shook her head. "No."_

_Sands kissed her, pressing her to lie back against the bed… _

He frowned when he heard a knock at the door. He walked over and answered it.

"What?"

"Hey."

Now this was a surprise. "Aren't you supposed to be on a plane?"

Charlie shrugged. "I…I decided to postpone. You were right. As a doctor, it was completely unprofessional for me to leave when you were having your surgery."

"You're staying?" Sands asked.

"Only until you're out of the hospital. If everything goes to plan and you get out when expected, I'll be on a plane."

"You're not going to be there when I can see?"

"Sands, it's hard enough for me to be there during the surgery. Being there to see it succeed? That's asking too much of me. I'll be in the operating room and seeing over everything. The recovery you can do on your own."

Sands nodded though he was still put out that she was going away. "Alright."

"How are you feeling?" She asked. "About Buster?"

He sighed tiredly, walking back and sitting on his couch. "How do you think? I want my dog, Mac."

Charlie walked into the apartment and over in front of him. "Well, I have something for you to cheer you up over losing Buster which I think you're going to like."

"Nothing is going to cheer me up."

"I think you're wrong about that."

Sands raised an eyebrow. Charlie was caught off guard when he grabbed her waist and brought her to straddle him. "Is it some of that sexy underwear you have?"

"Definitely not."

Sands heard her as she made a little clicking noise and was shocked to hear the patter of a dog's feet. Buster came up to stand next to the couch and Sands threw Charlie off him onto the floor so he could bend down to get to the dog. Charlie got up and walked over, well limped over after Sands threw her away, to close the door now Buster was back in the apartment. She didn't mind that Sands had thrown her to the side, literally, for Buster when she saw how happy he was. If he had realised she was watching him, he surely would have stopped so Charlie didn't make a sound. Sands remembered she was there after a short time.

"How did you get him back?"

"Well, I went to the dog place and spoke to some guy about a dog I needed. He brought me into the back and I found Buster and I bought him for my near sighted war vet grandfather." Charlie explained.

"I thought they had to do the whole screening process?"

"Well I was there for ages convincing the guy and then I may have bribed him very heavily."

Sands was a little shocked. She had done all that for him? He had been horrible to her today, and every day actually, and she went out and worked very hard and spent a lot of money to get Buster back for him when she should have been going somewhere warm and relaxing.

"Charlie?"

"Yeah?"

When Sands figured out where she was, he walked over to her, grabbed her and kissed her fervently. Charlie responded out of habit for a second but pulled away.

"No, I didn't do it so this would happen."

"I know. But it's happening anyway."

He kissed her again, lifting her up and carrying her over to the couch. The embrace continued until Charlie felt Sands' hands on the buttons of her blouse.

"No, I can't keep doing this." She said getting up.

"Doing what? Sex? You're the one who said what's the harm if we both want to."

"We're not friends with benefits, Sands. We're not even friends."

Charlie walked to the door and opened it to leave.

Sands stopped her. "Okay then Charlie, why did you do get back the dog? Why did you choose to stay for the surgery?"

Charlie looked back at him, debating with herself.

_Charlie had a question. _

"_Do you really care about me?"_

_Sands frowned. "I told you I do."_

"_You told me no one can trust you. And you've never actually said it; you've just tiptoed around the words and let me come to my own conclusions."_

"_Isn't that enough? Believe me, if those conclusions weren't right, I'd let you know it."_

"_Would you?"_

"_Charlie, if I was going to lie about caring about you to get you into bed, I would have done it on the first day. I ain't lying."_

_Charlie turned to face him with a small smile. "You still haven't said it."_

"_Sugar, I may be a little hard to shut up at times…"_

"_A little hard?"_

_Sands smirked. "But there are just some things that I can't say."_

_Charlie frowned. "Why not? It's just you and me."_

"_Yeah, it's not so much who's around me but me myself. I'd never forgive myself for being all…that way. It's not in my nature."_

"_You said it about Buster."_

"_Buster is my best friend; it's in the doggy description. You, you're more complicated."_

"_How?"_

"_Believe me, what I feel for Buster and what I feel for you are very different. I just can't say it. I thought you'd be able to tell that from who long it took me to admit it in the first place."_

"_I just thought you didn't want to admit it to yourself."_

"_I didn't. I still don't. I'm kind of ashamed of myself. But I get you out of it so I'll take the bad with the good if I have to."_

"_I think I'm going to go back to my room…"_

"_Sugar, that's as close as I can get to being affectionate. Take it or leave it but I literally can't do any better. But I figure, you're super smart so you can decipher that I'm trying to be…that way…right now. Hey, I even shaved the word 'butt' off sugarbutt for your nickname, that should tell you something. I respect you and your ass."_

"_Thanks very much."_

"_It's really great."_

"_Yeah, it's my proudest achievement." Charlie said sarcastically. "Well, I prefer sugar to babe so you're already an upgrade, I suppose…"_

"_And thank you for that." Sands said sarcastically. "You suppose?"_

"_I don't know. The only thing I know about you in a relationship circumstance is how you are in bed."_

"_That better be a fucking upgrade, sugar."_

"_As if you don't know it is."_

"_Damn straight."_

"_But anything else…"_

"_Well I wish I could give you a lowdown but I don't know. You're the first woman I've ever considered actually having relations with outside of sex. This could turn into quite a disaster."_

"_I have a feeling it won't be any different to the way things have been going before, you asking me to have sex, me refusing saying I have work to do. Only more eating and drinking together will be involved."_

"_You're going to refuse sex? I think we should see other people."_

"_Thanks, Sands."_

"_Don't worry, sugar. Hey, remember what I said. Me and you, we're endgame." Sands said, kissing her forehead. "You're the only person who can trust me."_

Charlie looked at him sadly.

"Because there was a time, when we were in Mexico, when I thought I might love you."

Sands froze.

"And did you?"

Charlie was silent for a second before shaking her head. "No."

She left the apartment and closed the door behind her.

Sands walked back to his couch and dug his fingers into his newly retrieved dog's fur.

_Okay, let's try to assess this situation. _

_She got me my dog back. She's helped me more than anyone ever has and I have shown more affection to the dog than I do to her. With that being said, she still always comes through for me. Not only did she get back Buster but she gave me eyes to look normal, she stayed on as my doctor when I let out my little plan to sleep with her and I've insulted her a hundred times when she's helped me and worked hard for me and she never once complained about me. Now, she's giving me real eyes despite the fact that she can't do it herself. She's worked harder than anyone ever has for me and at the same time gave me back my dog. I, meanwhile, just went about seducing her and then throwing her to the side. I really don't deserve her at all and I'm still the one who just dropped her. _

_So here's what we have, I have this amazing woman in my life who is just...there's no words and I'm always a complete asshole to her._

_And she thought she loved me._

_She's an idiot._

_That's the only explanation. _

_She's a complete and utter moron._

Having assessed the situation, Sands nodded. "Yup, I feel better now."

_That's a lie._

_I feel better believing it though._

"Much better." Sands said, getting up and walking into his bedroom.

He didn't know how long he could say it before he'd actually believe it.

_Sands couldn't sleep. He was in a huge mansion belonging to the dead woman who tried to kill him, not knowing what was going to happen to his life and yet, the reason he couldn't sleep was because he was too busy thinking about the woman who was sleeping in his arms._

"_Charlie?"_

_Sands didn't hear a reply but heard her steady breathing letting him know she was fast asleep._

_He kissed her forehead before taking a deep breath._

"_I love you."_

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	26. Professionalism

**Here's Chapter 26!**

_Where is she?_

Sands had woken up in Lupe's old bed the next morning and got an instant panic when Charlie was no longer next to him. Now was definitely not the time for one of them to go missing. He calmed down when he heard the shower in the adjoining bathroom running. Now knowing someone hadn't come in and snatched her, adding to their bad luck, he stretched out on the bed. He hadn't felt this comfortable in days.

"I could really get used to this…" He sighed, thinking of more days of lazing around in big, comfy beds with the woman who was currently in the shower.

_It'd be even better if I could see._

Now that'd be perfect. If he got his eyes back and could see again. He would finally be able to see Charlie, something he'd be wanting for quite a while now. He'd also feel less useless, he'd be able to be an actual agent again_._

_And I'd be going on missions again._

Sands frowned. Missions. Out of the country. Danger. Lots of shooting. Risking his life every day. He used to thrive on all that. And he couldn't deny that he wanted it back in his life. It was what he lived for, had always lived for. He got his kicks from the adrenaline of being out in the field, one upping the competition, always winning. It was what made him who he was.

_But now…_

Now he had Charlie.

How was he going to work out of the country, sometimes for months at a time, and risk his life every day when he had someone waiting for him?

Not to mention, the danger he could put her in. Hell, the only reason he was in this big, comfortable bed with Charlie showering in the next room was because they had been taken to be killed by someone Sands had pissed off. How was he going to stop that from ever happening again? He couldn't stop it this time round and they had plenty of warning what with Charlie's mugging and the break-in at the CIA. What if, next time, they just rang Charlie's doorbell and shot her? None of the theatrics Lupe concerned herself with, just a plain old bullet to the head. What would he do then?

And this was only if he got his eyes back. He'd pissed plenty of people off before he met Charlie for them to want revenge. What if one of them came back? He had to face it, he was lucky this time around but he wouldn't always be. Being with Charlie could be her death warrant.

_Isn't that why I've never gotten with anybody before?_

_No, I just never wanted to be with anyone before. People annoy me._

_So now I do want to be with someone and I can't because my loner lifestyle and not caring who I pissed off because it didn't matter means I'd be putting her in danger._

_Ironic._

Sands sighed.

_Well it doesn't change anything. It can't. I want to be with her so I will be. I'm not going to give up something I want just because of what might happen. Nobody ever got what they wanted by living on 'what if's. Charlie is mine and I am not giving her up._

Sands got up and walked into the bathroom. He walked towards the sound of the shower and when he felt the glass, he got in too, wrapping his arms around her. Charlie was surprised.

"You snuck up on me in the shower and you didn't pull the 'Psycho' gag? I'm kinda disappointed in the lack of cheesiness."

"I had better ideas." Sands said, kissing her neck.

* * *

_This is a mistake. This is a mistake. This is a mistake._

_Such a huge fucking mistake._

Sands left the elevator once he got to Charlie's floor. When he felt Buster stop leading him and stand him outside a door, he knocked.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned when she answered. She walked out into the hall, closing the door behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"I…" Why was he here? Why was Sands here? "I just…I didn't thank you for getting Buster back."

Charlie frowned. "Sands, you've never thanked me for anything."

"That is very true."

"So, why are you here now?"

"I was just thinking…I'm going into hospital tomorrow and I wanted to ask you a few questions about…"

"Charlie?" Sands heard from inside the apartment. "Is everything okay?"

"Is that your ex?" He frowned, realising why they weren't talking inside.

"It's fine." Charlie called back before turning to Sands. "Yes." She said with a sigh.

Sands immediately found his anger increasing. "Well, it didn't take long for you to completely lose this whole 'new you' bullshit. Right back to where you started. Who knows? I might even get a fuck again."

Charlie frowned. "Don't you dare judge me! First of all, if I want to have a hundred men over at my apartment, that is my decision and it would have nothing to do with you."

"If you want to go back to being a completely pathetic…"

"Secondly!" Charlie said, cutting him off. "Not that it is any of your business but for the last time, I am not getting back together with Barry."

"You're not?"

"No! But if I was, it wouldn't affect you in any way! I am a grown woman and I can make my own decisions…"

"They're usually terrible when it comes to him."

"And _my _decision is that I am not getting back together with him. Which is what I was telling him when you showed up."

"You couldn't tell him over the phone? He had to come over?"

"He came over himself. I'm pretty sure my door is a magnet for assholes. And besides, I was with the guy for ten years, Sands! The least I owe him is to talk to him to his face. I wasn't with you at all and I have to put up with you to your face."

"You may have been with him for ten years but which one of us actually gave you an orgasm?"

"Sands!"

"I think we both know the answer, Mac!"

"You need to leave and I need to get back. I mean, what is your problem, Sands? You were the one who completely changed things, not me. You. If you don't want me, you can't be jealous or care when someone else does."

"I am not jealous." Sands said quickly. "I just think…"

"You shouldn't think anything. It's none of your business."

Charlie closed her eyes in frustration when her door was flung open and Barry stepped outside.

"What are you doing with my girlfriend?"

This made her turn quickly. "Whoa. Barry, I am not your girlfriend anymore. You need to get that into your head."

"Yeah, you better hope she's not your girlfriend," Sands said. "Because if so, she's cheated on you. A lot."

This made Charlie turn back to Sands just as quickly. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Who are you?" Barry asked angrily.

Sands frowned. "I thought that was obvious? I'm the guy who fucked your alleged girlfriend here. Multiple times. In case that wasn't clear. I don't know how she was for you but she sure was a hellcat when I was in bed with her. Or in the car with her. Or on her floor with her…Table…Bed again…"

Barry looked at Charlie furiously. "What the fuck is he talking about?"

"We weren't together." Charlie said at a loss. "I had broken up with you by then."

"Oh yeah," Sands nodded. "She never had sex with me when you two were together. We only nearly had sex a lot. Lot of making out. I did get her out of her clothes once but she was drunk so she fell asleep. Believe me; I was more put out then than you are now."

Barry looked down at her. "Fuck you, Charlie." He said, walking off.

"Oh don't worry!" Sands called after him. "I intend to!"

Charlie looked at him. "How could you do that to me? How could you tell him?"

"He doesn't know you're in the CIA. He can't tell anyone at work, you're still fine." Sands shrugged.

Charlie huffed and walked into her apartment. She tried to slam the door behind her but it only flew into Sands who followed her in.

"Get out, Sands."

"What is wrong with you? He's not going to tell anyone important."

"That is not the point! You just made me out to be such a whore! I know you hate me for some odd reason but what the fuck made you do that?"

"You can't look like a whore because you didn't cheat! You're not his girlfriend!"

"I can't believe this. I got you new eyes. I got you a doctor to do the surgery. I got you your dog back and I promised to stay for you even though the last thing I want to do is watch someone else do my work. I did all that and you just…You continue trying to ruin my life."

"How is telling your old boyfriend who you don't want to be with that you had sex with another man while you were single ruining your life?"

"You just keep digging the knife further in. Inch by inch, Sands. You never just let me be. You always come around here to make the things in my life more difficult."

"He was being too possessive! Another second and he would have hit you over the head with a bat and dragged you back to his place by your hair."

"Because you were acting so sane! Just get out. Please."

"Charlie…"

"Sands, please."

Sands was still for a second before turning and leaving the apartment.

* * *

Charlie was awoken that night to the sound of banging on her door. She huffed and picked up her phone, dialling.

"Whoever this is better have a very fucking good reason for interrupting my beauty sleep." Sands answered.

"Good one. Go home." She said. "I'm not opening my door."

"What the fuck are you on about?"

Charlie frowned. The banging was still happening despite the fact that Sands sounded just like she did which meant he had probably just woke up too.

"You're not at my door?"

"What? Do you think I sleep out there or something?"

A voice erupted from the other side of her front door. "Charlie! Let me in!"

Charlie sat up. "Crap."

"Mac?" Sands frowned. He had heard that. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." Charlie said, getting up and putting on her robe quickly.

"Except for your ex nearly breaking your door down?"

"It's fine. Goodbye."

"No, Charlie wait. Are you stupid? Don't answer your door."

"I won't."

"You will." Sands huffed. "Look, just keep him talking. I'm on my…"

"No, Sands, it's fine. I can deal with him. Go back to sleep."

Charlie hung up her phone and threw it on the bed. She got up and put on her robe, leaving her room.

"Charlie! Let me in!"

She turned on the lights as she walked through her apartment. She walked over to her door but didn't open it. "Barry?"

"I need to talk to you! Open the door!"

"Barry, you're drunk." Charlie could hear it in his voice. "Go home."

"Let me in, you cheating bitch!"

Charlie was in hell. She was in actual hell. "I'm not letting you in so you should just go home and sleep it off, Barry."

"I'm not going anywhere, Charlie, so just open the fucking door!"

"Would you shut up?" Charlie heard one of her neighbours complain, coming out of their apartments. "Or I'm calling the police."

"Call whoever the fuck you want! I'm not leaving until she opens this door!"

Charlie, out of embarrassment and to diffuse the situation, opened the door. "What? What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you." Barry said, stumbling into her apartment.

"No, it's the middle of the night and you're drunk." Charlie said with folded arms. "Just please go home."

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you and I want you." Barry said, walking drunkenly over to her. "I don't care that you fucked that other guy." Charlie rolled her eyes when he laid his head on her shoulder. "I still want you back."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

She figured it out when she felt his hands on the backs of the thighs.

"No, Barry, get off me." Charlie said, trying to take his hands off her.

"Don't fucking do this to me, Charlie." Barry said, putting his hand somewhere else on her every time she managed to pry it from her. "You fucked him quick enough. I was with you for ten years and I was lucky if you threw me a quick lay once a month so don't fucking act like I don't deserve it."

"Okay, seriously, stop." Charlie said. She remembered what Sands said. Keep him talking. "Okay, okay Barry, you want to talk, let's talk."

Barry looked at her before letting her go.

"Fine, I know you're lying to me about sleeping with that guy."

"First of all, I never lied but it is true that we were broken up!"

"We've been together ten years." Barry slurred, obviously getting annoyed at Charlie not understanding that. "It's not just over on a whim. We can try…"

"It wasn't a whim. I…I had been thinking about it for a while. This relationship wasn't working and it won't if we try again. I'm sorry but I don't want to give it another try. I'm just…Done."

"I moved all the way out here for you." Barry frowned. "For your job."

"I know and that meant so much to me. It still does. But, I can't stay with you out of guilt."

"Guilt? Isn't that why you broke up with me in the first?"

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"What was your patient doing in your hotel room that day he took your phone?"

Charlie was shocked he was bringing this up. "What does that have to do with any of this?"

"You fucked the guy! He was over here tonight! You're still fucking him!"

"No, I'm not but so what if I was? It'd have nothing to do with you."

"There you go, lying again. So tell me, if you're not still sleeping with him then why did you go to that fucker's place tonight when you should have been on a plane?"

Charlie frowned. "Have you been…following me?"

"I wanted to know where you were going. But it clearly wasn't the airport."

"You can't do that!" Charlie said angrily. "You have no right! I broke up with you!"

"We were together for ten years! You cannot just break up and move on after ten years!"

"Yes, I can! You are confusing longevity with marriage!" Charlie huffed before she realised something. She had told Sands she was leaving. She never told Barry. "How did you know I was going anywhere in the first place?"

"What?"

"How did you know I should have been going to the airport?"

"I was speaking to your mother and she told me."

Charlie had always kind of been annoyed that Barry and her mother got along better than she and her mother did. It was slightly annoying when the two of them could back up on her.

"I didn't tell my mother." Charlie said.

"Well, she knew. You probably told your sister or something who told her."

Charlie had told her sister so maybe Barry was telling the truth but she still wasn't convinced. He had let too much slip. How did he know that Sands was her patient? She had never told Barry she was working with someone who was blind and Sands hadn't been on the phone that long and much too long ago for Barry to recognise his voice. And how did he know that it was Sands' place she went to?

"Okay, answer me this. How do you know I went to his apartment tonight? How did you know he lived in that building? And how did you know he was my patient?"

"Because, it was only a matter of time before your life revolved so much around work, you started screwing the patients!"

Charlie couldn't resist slapping him across the face, though she really should have. "Get the fuck out of my apartment."

"I'm not an idiot, Charlie!"

Charlie could argue. "You still think I'm your girlfriend so clearly…"

"You are my girlfriend!"

"No, I'm not! And that still doesn't explain why you think I was going to see him tonight."

"I heard him say it! Outside in the hall tonight!"

"Were you listening in on my conversation?" Charlie realised. "That's why you called out. So he'd know you were there!"

"I was just making sure he knew who you're with."

"I'm not with anyone, you moron!" She couldn't believe this. She was getting it from Sands and now she was getting it from Barry, neither of whom she was with. "What I did when I turned single is none of your business! What I do with my life is no one's business but my own! And for the record, I never slept with anyone else when I was with you."

"As easy as that is to believe since you barely ever had sex with me when you were with me, I don't believe you."

"And you know what?" Charlie said angrily. "I've never been sure you've never slept with anyone else when we were together."

"Whoa, wait a second, this isn't about me." Barry said, practically confirming it. "Although no one would blame considering the piece of ice I was getting into bed with every night."

"Then why do you want me back at all?" Charlie said. "If I was so unpleasant."

"That guy had a different story. Hellcat? Fucking him all over the place? Quite different than anything I ever got with you."

"Yeah well, believe me; it was very different than anything I ever got with you. Like, for example, some actual enjoyment out of it." Charlie bit back. She knew she shouldn't be provoking him but she was getting very tired of him talking about how she wasn't anything to boast about in bed when he had just tried to get into bed with her. Now that she had said it and Barry looked like he was about to hit her, she might have regretted it a tiny bit. "Just go home, Barry. I'm done and so are you. Get out." Charlie walked to the door to open it but Barry caught her wrist to take drag her back which made her give a shout of pain. "Ow! Barry, let me go!"

"We're not done talking!"

"You're not talking! You're hurting me!" Charlie was getting frustrated to say the least. "Get out! We are done talking!"

"Fine," Barry said. "No more talking."

Charlie felt him let go of her waist but grab her waist again.

"You have got to be kidding me…Stop it!"

Charlie tried to push him off her but he was stronger and very drunk so not in his right frame of mind so making him see sense wasn't easy.

"Barry, stop. Stop! Let me go!"

Charlie felt relief when her door burst open and Sands pulled Barry off her.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Sands said and Charlie was surprised by how angry he sounded.

"Listen, you blind fuck, this has nothing to do with you. You can't even see what's going on. Maybe she liked it."

"I'm blind, not deaf, fuckmook. Unless in your deluded brain, no means yes then I'm making it have to do with me."

"Just stay out of it, alright?"

"No, it's not really alright," Sands said. "Because your hands should be nowhere near her."

"Hey, she was mine for ten years to have my hands all over."

"And as I recall, she kicked your ass to the curb. Now it's my hands that go near her so I ever see your hands on my girl again, I'll chop them off."

Shock. That was one word to describe Charlie at that moment. What was Sands talking about? The last thing she could be called was his girl.

Barry threw Charlie a glare before stumbling out of her apartment, leaving Sands and her alone.

"You alright?" Sands asked.

"Fine."

Sands was surprised to hear her voice shake. Was she crying?

"Are you sure? You sound a little…frantic."

"I'm fine. I just got panicked." She stuttered. "Thank you…for coming over here. You didn't have to."

"From the sounds of things, I did." Sands hadn't exactly seen anything but he'd heard struggling and he had pushed Barry off her but her shaken demeanour was unnerving him. He didn't think she'd react like this. It wasn't very like her. From his experiences, kneeing Barry in the groin or smacking him would have been more like her, not breaking down into tears. It was a little uncomfortable. Sands was anything but comforting so what the hell was he supposed to do right now? "You shouldn't have opened the door. I told you not to."

_Oh, reprimanding her. That's what I do in these situations._

"I know that now." She said. "I was…"He was shouting at my neighbours and..."

"So what? They hate you anyway."

"Don't make me regret leaving you in here too." Charlie said. "But seriously, I'm fine though. I'm just going to go to lock my doors and go to bed. You're probably going to want to do the same. Big day tomorrow. Goodnight, Sands."

Charlie walked away before she felt even more like a fool and went into the bathroom to get a tissue.

_Calm down, you're fine. He didn't do anything. Nothing happened. You just got scared. _

_Everything is okay._

After Charlie's little mental pep talk to herself and her crying stopped, she left the bathroom and went to her bedroom.

_I should probably get a baseball bat or something to put near the door in case he comes back. He won't be trying to win me back if I put a dent in his head._

But when she got to her bedroom, she realised she wouldn't need to get out her weapon for intruders. She had the deadliest weapon she'd ever seen, lounging on her bed.

"I thought you left."

"I'm not going anywhere." Sands said.

"What?"

"That's the second time _tonight _I had to chase that guy out of your apartment. I think it's safe to say, I'm staying here."

"No Sands, you don't have to…"

"Charlie? You're still crying. I think I do." Sands said as if her decision making wasn't really up to scratch. Neither was his at the moment but his was more attractive than hers. "Look, he came back once, he can come back again. No, you saved my ass in Mexico, you got me back my dog, the least I can do is camp out here tonight."

"I will be okay."

She might have been but Sands wouldn't be. He had no idea what his intentions were for coming over the first time but he knew he hadn't wanted to leave. He knew that he wanted to stay with her here. And not just because of Barry. After tonight with Buster and everything, not to mention her telling him she didn't love him when he knew he loved her, he had tried to think of any way to make that feel less stinging, he tried to sleep it off but after an hour or two of tossing and turning, he realised what he really needed.

So he went to her apartment.

He was still positive that he couldn't have a relationship with her. Just being in her life at all had caused irrevocable damage to her already. And especially if he got his eyes back, he'd be going back out into the field, spending months in different countries on assignments with no guarantee he was coming back. This was why one night stands had always been so much easier. He didn't have to give a damn about anyone at home, just how he liked it. But for some reason, he found himself coming over here anyway. And he didn't want to leave.

And now with what had just happened, he knew that maybe her ex was more of a problem than Sands originally thought. So no, Sands wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm staying."

"Sands, a car is picking you up to take you to the hospital in the morning and they're not coming here. You should go home." Charlie pointed out.

"I will. In the morning." Sands said, walking further into the apartment.

"But…"

Charlie had to admit, what had just happened had shaken her up but she didn't trust herself around him. That's why she had run earlier in his apartment. But she didn't want to be alone now. She just didn't want to hurt anymore either.

_I'm capable of saying no. That is an option here._

_It's just not one I ever want to use. _

"Charlie?"

Charlie looked up at him. "Hmm?"

"You just stopped talking."

"Oh, sorry. I was just…thinking."

"Look, there's a very easy way to make up your mind." Sands said. "Would you feel safer if I was here?"

It didn't take Charlie long to figure that out. "Yeah."

"So…?"

Charlie shook her head, knowing what she was about to say was definitely the wrong thing to say.

"So stay with me."

Sands sat up. "I can do that."

The minute both he said it, both he and Charlie thought about how untrue that statement was but neither said it.

"I'm just going to go make sure the door is locked." Charlie said, to break the tension. She left the room and went to her front door, locking the chain and night latch before locking the key as well. She didn't turn around straight away as she had heard Sands come out behind her.

"What was that?" Charlie asked.

"What was what?"

"The whole threatening boyfriend act. That whole 'she's my girl so back off' routine."

"Well, it was that. An act. It worked, didn't it?"

"I think it was the threatening to chop his hands off that got him to leave."

"Well, I will."

Charlie frowned, turning to face him. "I thought it was an act?"

"The boyfriend bit was. The hindering an attempted rapist is true. Hey Mac, I may be down with a lot of things, and I mean a lot, I have the highest kill record in the CIA after all, but I don't tolerate that kind of thing."

"That's…honourable." Charlie said.

"Yeah, well I work my ass off to seduce women; I ain't letting some fuckmook come stomp over all my honed skills by just forcing himself on them. Anyone half-strong goon can do that."

"Tad less honourable now but then again, your priorities have always been kind of out of whack." Charlie said before turning serious. "But thank you. You really saved me a while ago."

"Careful, sugar, don't start making me out to be some do-gooder. You'll ruin my reputation."

"Wouldn't want that."

"I know what I do want."

"Sands, why are you here?" Charlie asked.

Sands frowned. "You called me and alerted me to the fact that your asshole ex-boyfriend was trying to break down your door."

"Okay, let me rephrase that; why do you want to stay? You know he won't come back."

Sands was silent for a second. "After tomorrow, I might get my sight back."

"You will get your sight back."

"And you'll be off somewhere secret without a care in the world…"

"I think we both know the no care part is a lie but go on."

"Tonight is really…Our last night being stuck in this crazy situation we got ourselves into."

Charlie knew that was true. Sands was going to become a proper agent again and go off on missions and she'd…She didn't know where she was going to go but it wasn't with him.

"But that's what you wanted." Charlie said. "You wanted us to be finished."

"I didn't want the problem of having an 'us'." Sands clarified. "When we were coming back from Mexico, I realised what I was getting into and that I didn't want a relationship." His hand went to her waist where it found the ties on her robe. "But I still can't get enough of you the way I couldn't there."

"Sex but no relationship."

"That's not a new development with me. That's what I've always wanted."

"I can't do that." Charlie said.

"You have before." Sands remembered the night in her apartment when she used him. "We both feel good and no one gets hurt, right?"

Charlie sighed. "I told you, we're not friends with benefits. You're forgetting something, Sands. It wasn't a mutual decision for things to finish in Mexico. I thought we were coming back here together. You know why? Because you told me so. No one gets hurt; just those of us who admitted to wanting more."

Sands had admitted to wanting more so really, she was including him there. He'd just never admit it.

"I know it may not seem it to you or it may not matter but it is our last night…"

Charlie frowned. "Our last night of what? Hurting each other? Using each other?"

"Being around each other at all."

That did cause a pang in Charlie's chest so she tried to make her voice sound light. "Well, that's something you can look forward to. Getting your old life back. That's what you've wanted since I met you. No more of this screwed up nonsense. You can move on and just…forget me." Charlie was trying to look on the bright side even if it was his. "It'll be like the last few months never happened."

Hearing that, Sands grabbed her, kissing her fervently.

"Believe me, sugar," Sands said, when they parted as he began untying her robe. "I won't be forgetting a thing."

"Sands…"

"Tomorrow I get back my eyes and everything changes. Well, I like an ending with style." Sands removed her robe and let it fall to the floor. "What about you?"

Charlie sighed.

_Damnit._

She made a promise to herself that she'd make herself stop being weak around men she was attracted to as she reached up and continued the kiss he had ended a while ago.

_Tomorrow. I will start tomorrow._

* * *

Sands collapsed on top of Charlie, panting. He was completely spent.

"Screw the surgery, let's just stay here tomorrow."

Charlie chuckled and pressed her hands gently against his chest. He rolled over to lie next to her and Charlie looked at him. His expression didn't seem like someone who had just done what they'd done. He actually looked quite bothered about something.

"Sands? Are you okay?"

"I was just thinking…"

"About?"

"About how fucked up seeing you will be."

Charlie frowned. "Thanks, Sands. I'm not Medusa, you know."

"I'm not saying it like that. I just meant…"

"I know what you meant." Charlie said. She thought she did anyway. He'd finally see the woman who he'd chased for months and had now slept with quite a few times and there'd be nothing he could about it because he'd be going off on missions. All the flirting and sleeping around was ending tonight and he wouldn't be able to do anything when he could actually see her. "You never know," She joked. "I could be a dog."

Sands reached over and ran his hand down her cheek. "Doesn't feel like it."

Charlie couldn't not ask anymore. "Sands, why did you change your mind? What made you decide you didn't want to be with me after all?"

Sands' hand stopped its movement. "I told you. I only ever said that to get what I wanted."

"No." Charlie said, shaking her head. "I don't believe that. I'm not an idiot, Sands. The car, the saving me in the prison when you could have left me there, the entire time we were in Lupe's place, none of that was you acting. It can't be. It can't be a case of you came back and all of a sudden couldn't stand me anymore but yet, every time I turn around, you're there to try and be with me."

"In bed. That's all."

"You don't not run your hands over the face of someone you just want a quick fuck from. You do not badmouth the doctor who will be performing surgery on your face because you feel they ripped someone you don't care about off."

"I was pissed because…"

"You told me. He was coming in and stomping all over everyone. But it wasn't everyone, it was me. Your words, not mine. You do not stay with them to make sure they're okay after a fight with their ex…"

"It was a lot more than a fight. He tried to force himself on you and you were completely freaked out…"

"You shouldn't care what I was if you don't care about me. You don't care about a last night with someone if you don't want them in your life in the first place. Sands…"

"What do you want from me, Charlie? I'm doing what I need to do for me here. That's what I've always done."

"But what did I do that made you decide not being with me was what you needed?"

_You made me fall in love with you._

"You didn't do anything. You just didn't do anything to make me feel like I would want to be with you either."

Charlie was silent for a second before turning her back to him.

"Charlie…"

"Please just…Go to sleep or leave, Sands." She knew he wouldn't leave in a million years but maybe if she gave him a choice, he'd stop talking to her.

"That's it? Night finished?"

"Things finished a long time ago, Sands."

* * *

Sands was woken up the next morning to the sound of a phone ringing. He could hear the shower running, letting him know Charlie probably didn't hear it or just wasn't going to be interrupted by some bullshit apology by a now very hung-over Barry.

_Huh, I could sneak in there with her again but, and it's weird this is an unfortunate circumstance, we're not in Mexico anymore…_

The phone kept ringing and Sands couldn't answer it seeing as it was her house phone or could be Trevor so he let it ring out. But if it was Barry and he tried to leave a message, Sands would probably not be able to resist the urge to pick up. He heard her machine come on and the beep and frowned when a voice came on the other side.

"Charlie? Are you there? If you are, please pick up." It wasn't Barry but it was another man so Sands paid attention. "I know you don't want to talk to me but I don't know how many more of these messages I can leave. I won't stop until you talk to me though. Look, I know I've made mistakes and you should have every right not to want to talk to me but after being told that you went missing, I've never been so scared. And now that you're back…I want to see you. I need to. I really hope you can forgive me and we can move on. Please. You're the only daughter I have and I don't want to lose you."

Now Sands was shocked. The person begging her forgiveness and pleading to be back in her life was her father? What had happened there?

"Just…please call me. I love you, sweetie."

He hung up the phone and Sands frowned. Now that was unusual. True, Charlie didn't speak about her family life, just how Sands liked it but now his curiosity was at him. What had happened between her and her father that would have Charlie cut the man out of the life? Or more like, what had her father done to drive her to make such a decision? He'd admitted himself that he made a mistake and wanted forgiveness.

Sands heard the shower stop and lay back down, pretending to still be asleep, firstly so she wouldn't know he heard the message because if she knew he knew about it, she'd never ever get tricked into speaking about it and secondly because he was trying to put off the awkward moment where she was definitely going to throw him out of her apartment after last night.

Charlie returned to her room and saw Sands still unconscious in her bed. She was about to kick him awake when she spotted the light flashing on her phone. She left the room for some privacy she didn't know she'd already lost and Sands sat up to hear better.

"Charlie? Are you there? If you are, please…"

Sands heard a beep sound.

"Message deleted."

_Whoa. And that's her father._

_Remind me never to scorn her._

_Oh wait._

He lay back down when he heard her come back.

"Sands, wake up. You're getting picked up in an hour and I really don't need anyone knowing you spent the night here."

Sands sat up. "Good morning to you too."

"Get dressed and get out."

"No shower? Or breakfast?"

"You can't eat before a surgery and you can shower at your place. Where you need to be. Get out."

_So much for not scorning her._

_Me and Mister Macintosh._

* * *

Sands got into the car sent by the CIA that would bring him to the hospital; his mind wasn't focused on the upcoming surgery but the person who would be in the operating room. Charlie hadn't spoken to him personally but he did get a call from her assistant, Carr, telling him that his room at the hospital was ready for him. Carr had told him that everything was to Doctor Macintosh's approval so the car had been sent for him. Sands smirked.

_She really runs that place with an iron fist. If she brought her work demeanour home with her, she would have gotten rid of me long ago._

His smirk dropped. What was he going to do when she had to come and see him? She would, undoubtedly, be professional about the whole thing but what about him?

"Agent Sands, we're here." The driver said to him from the front seat and Sands nodded before getting out of the car. The driver handed him his bag and he heard footsteps come over to him.

"Agent Sands? I'm Doctor Penny Carr. Doctor Macintosh sent me to meet you when you arrived. I'm going to bring you to your room myself on her orders. She apologises that she can't be here to greet you herself but she's very busy."

Carr sounded like she was very bubbly and Sands wondered if Charlie was punishing him.

"That's fine, Carr."

"You can call me Penny if you like. Doctor Macintosh said it isn't very professional but I feel it gives a more trustworthy…"

"Carr is fine."

"Okay…"

Will Doctor Macintosh be coming to see me at any point?"

"She's very busy but it'll be unusual if she doesn't. She likes to talk to her patients and answer any questions they might have. I wouldn't worry about a thing if I were you though. She's amazing. She's so professional and smart and she's been working like no one's business for this surgery. I mean she's such a...doctor. You know?"

"Boy, do I." Sands said sarcastically.

"There's no one better to do this surgery than Doctor Macintosh."

"You do know she's not doing the surgery, right?"

"But she'll be there. It'll be her brain. That means you have the best odds." He felt Carr stop walking. "Excuse me a moment."

Sands frowned as she rushed off but soon realised why as he heard Charlie's voice in what he assumed was his room.

"This is ridiculous. I told you yesterday to replace all the light bulbs with ones with lower wattage and remote control drapes for when his eyes got sore. The man is going to be seeing for the first time in months. Can we try not to fry the eyeballs I spent months trying to get? I would like to think it wasn't a gigantic waste of my time just like right now is being."

Even Sands felt bitten by her tone. Maybe the nurses in Mexico were right. Ice queen.

"Yes, doctor. We'll get the janitor on it straight away."

Charlie huffed. "Put him into another room until this one is ready. And next time when I tell you to do something, actually do it. I'm not giving instructions for a laugh. I actually expect some work to get done."

"Doctor Macintosh?" Sands heard Carr say.

"What is it?"

"Agent Sands is here."

"What? When did I tell anyone to pick him up?"

"You didn't but Doctor Hobbs said…"

"Doctor Hobbs is not your boss, I am."

"I know but he is…"

Charlie huffed. "I stayed for a reason, Carr, and from the looks of things around here, it's lucky I did. Do what I say from now on, not anyone else. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Doctor Macintosh."

"Put Agent Sands across the hall. This room isn't ready."

Carr left and returned to Sands. "We're going in here." She said, walking him away from Charlie to another room.

"Boss in a bad mood, huh?"

"Oh no, she's always like that." Carr said. "Bit of a perfectionist."

"I bet that's fun."

"It gets good results and you know not to complain if it means your name is attached to those results. Also, if you disrespect her, Doctor Macintosh doesn't take a lot of backchat before she fires you. People are clawing tooth and nail to get a job with her. It's sad, really. I really hope her rehab works. She's been at it for a while but…"

"Wait, she has?"

"Of course. She started the second she could. She's not giving up her career easily."

Sands frowned.

_Why didn't she tell me that?_

_Because it's none of your business?_

"Hey Carr, what has she said to you about the surgery?"

"Me? Well not much about the actual surgery itself besides what I need to know. I'll be assisting, you see. But she did say if anyone does screw up on this, she'd make it her personal vendetta to see them banned from every hospital in the area. She even said it to Doctor Hobbs."

Sands smirked. "She said that, huh?"

"Yup. Well, this is the first time this surgery has been performed in the States. Even if she's not the one doing it, if it goes well, her career is going to be famous in the medical world. Although she's pretty popular already. When I heard she was interviewing for an assistant, I sent in my resume straight away. So did loads of other people. But now this surgery is really make or break for her career, if anything goes wrong, she'll lose some of her credibility despite of how good she is. She's so confident though. I mean she's watched videos, worked day and night on the simulator, read notes about the transplant, if anything goes wrong it certainly won't be her fault." There were in his room now and Sands sat on the edge of the bed.

"Okay, thank you, Carr." Sands said trying to get the young woman to stop talking. It kind of deflated him to find out Charlie was being so meticulous not because she was thinking about him but for herself.

_Not everything in her life is about you._

_At the moment, everything in my life is about her._

_Well, you should have told her that last night instead of saying 'You didn't give me any reason to be with you.'_

"So, if I were you, I really wouldn't worry about anything going wrong." Carr said.

"Thank you, Carr, that's enough." Sands heard from the doorway before he heard heels walk further into the room. "I don't think Agent Sands needs to hear about anything going wrong when it's not going to happen. Go and wait in my office until I get there."

"Okay, Doctor Macintosh." Sands could hear the admiration in the assistant's voice at Charlie. He heard her leave the room and close the door behind her.

"Wow…" Sands said. "She is perky."

"Yes, she is."

"Perky Penny. You hate me that much?"

Charlie huffed. "I told her to stop telling patients to call her by her first name. That trust bullshit works better when they can call you doctor."

"I see the love is one sided. I mean, Jesus, Charlie, do you hire assistants by how much they wish they were you?" He joked, hoping that last night wouldn't interfere with the two of them today. If only because she was going to be in a room with a lot of sharp implements and he was going to be unconscious.

"Carr is an excellent doctor. She's going to be the next me. I hired her because of that." She sounded focused and Sands knew she was writing on his chart. He bet she wasn't even looking at him.

"Is the rest of your team in complete awe of you too?" He asked.

He heard her pen click and she walked over to stand in front of him. "Do you have any questions?"

"Are you nervous?"

"No, are you?"

"What's there to be nervous about? I wake up and can see or wake up and I still can't. It's out of my hands but I'm not getting my hopes up."

"Well you should because this time in tomorrow, you'll be seeing."

Sands smirked. "Are you that confident?"

"Yes. I wouldn't let this surgery go on if I thought it mightn't work. Any other questions?"

"Just one. Do you hate me now?" Sands didn't miss how she was speaking in that polite and professional voice that she would use on any other patient, as if she didn't know him. "And if you do, will you please promise…not to kill me with a scalpel?"

"Not that it matters to the surgery but no."

"You won't promise?" Sands asked, his voice going high much to his own annoyance.

"No I don't hate you, you moron."

"Well, if you hated me, I'd be a little nervous that you were going to be using medical tools on me."

"I won't be."

"You'll be instructing the person who will be."

"What I feel about someone doesn't affect my medical judgement. You could be a mass murdering rapist; it'd still be my duty to perform to the best of my ability."

"Oh, so you don't hate me but I'm up there with the mass murdering rapists. Excellent." Sands said sarcastically before going to lie back on the bed and sighing.

"You know I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying that I'm remaining completely professional on this."

"Alright then."

"Alright. A nurse will come in later to take your stats and heart pressure, etcetera. I'll be back later to mark where I…Hobbs will be working on you. I'll also send Carr down to see how you're doing. Any more questions now?"

"Charlie, about last night..."

"Sands, don't. Last night was a mistake, what with the surgery so close and everything. I knew that when I was letting you stay. It was completely my wrong doing so let's not worry about it anymore, okay? Just forget about it."

Sands stayed silent. She was wrong? Forget it? Shouldn't have happened? No, the only thing that shouldn't have been said was her saying she was wrong.

"But Charlie..."

"Let it go, Sheldon. Please don't bring it up again. I have to go. Get changed and I'll send a nurse in."

She began to walk out of the room but he called out to her.

"Charlie?"

"What?"

"You know everyone here hates you because you're a complete bitch, right?"

Charlie shrugged. "There's a reason I have no friends."

Sands mulled it over. "Me too."

She left the room and the silence almost deafened Sands. He wasn't going to be able to talk to her at all here.

* * *

Charlie walked into her office to find Carr waiting for her. She walked behind her desk and sat in her chair, leaning back and looking at the woman.

"You were right, Doctor Macintosh." She said. "He did prefer using the second name."

"I told you, everyone prefers using the second name." Charlie said. "Okay, tomorrow is a big day. Huge. You don't need me to tell you that. I've told you what you're going to be doing so there's no reason for any of you to screw up. Nervous?"

Penny shook her head furiously. "Of course not."

"Good. Get Hobbs in here. Hopefully he'll need as much of a boost as you did."

Carr walked out of her office as Charlie got her bag and pulled out her compact mirror, looking herself over.

_Oh God, I look half dead._

_I really should have slept more rather than…having sex with Sands last night._

_Last night? Every night I did it._

"Tired?"

Charlie looked up to see Hobbs walking into her office.

"Bit of a rough night." She said. "What about you?"

"Slept like a baby."

"So you're not nervous?"

"Not at all."

Charlie looked at him suspiciously. His tone wasn't very convincing. "You're sure?"

"Positive. Why wouldn't I be?"

_Because your smile is unnervingly wide._

"Just making sure." Charlie said instead. "So I was thinking we could go over the surgery one more…"

Hobbs stood up from the chair. "Actually, I think I've got it all under control. And you'll be in the gallery if any…"

"Actually, I'm going to be in the O.R." Charlie corrected.

She saw Hobbs try not to drop his nonchalant expression. "You are?"

"I am…" Charlie frowned. "Is there a problem with that?"

"It's just…Is there really any need for you to be there?"

"The patient felt he would be more comfortable if I oversaw things."

"You can oversee things from the gallery."

"Or I can be in the O.R."

"The patient will be unconscious. He won't know who is where."

"Seriously, is there a problem with my presence?" Charlie asked.

Hobbs shuffled uncomfortably. "I just don't like the thought of someone looking over my shoulder for the entire surgery. I know what I'm doing. You don't need to be there. It's my surgery now."

Charlie kept her polite smile. "Doctor Hobbs, you may be doing the surgery but it is still _my _O.R. and I am still the boss so I will go wherever the hell I like, is that clear?"

"Of course." Hobbs said shortly. "I didn't mean to be so…intruding."

"Then don't be."

Hobbs nodded and left her office and Charlie huffed.

_Sands is right. Dick._

* * *

"I mean when I got the call that I got the job, I mean, I nearly fell out of my chair."

"Bet you were thrilled."

"Oh my God, I really was. I mean, you don't know how many people applied for the position. It was like winning the lottery career-wise. It was really..."

"Carr?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's Doctor Macintosh?"

"Oh, she'll be down later. Now, as I was saying..."

Sands was convinced that Carr was an undercover assassin sent to kill him. He couldn't stand it anymore. The girl had been wittering on in his ear for what seemed like hours. In reality it had only been ten minutes. He was really wishing he had taken that sleeping pill he was offered. He almost wanted to cry for joy when he heard someone else enter the room.

"Agent Sands, so sorry to keep you waiting." Hobbs said.

Sands' joy deflated. "Oh don't worry; I wasn't waiting to see you." He said. "Doctor Macintosh…"

"Is currently unavailable." Hobbs said. "But I am here if you have any questions."

"Only where is Doctor Macintosh?" Sands shrugged.

Hobbs turned to Carr. "Penny, could you give Agent Sands and I a minute alone?"

"Of course." She said, leaving the room.

"Agent Sands," Hobbs went on. "I have some bad news."

"Better tell me it then."

"The surgery had to be postponed until tomorrow morning." Hobbs explained.

Sands frowned. "Why?"

"Well, you see, usually with transplants, the organ, say a heart or a kidney, must be put in straight away while it's still fresh. Your transplant is a little bit more complicated than that. You see, everything in your eye socket was removed. We have nothing to work with, no tissues, no nerves, nothing. Those are really what you need. It's like the eyeballs are the hospital, the retina and the optic nerve and choroid and such are the doctors. The hospital isn't a hospital unless it has doctors and doctors can't really work without their hospital."

"I get it. Believe it or not, I'm not a moron." Sands huffed. He couldn't believe he used to think Charlie was patronising when he first met her. This guy was something else.

"Also, you won't die without your eyes whereas someone going for a heart transplant needs to get the new heart put in straight away. To do your transplant, we need…"

"We?"

"Doctor Macintosh needed to create cultures that would grow and replace everything you lost when your eyes were…removed. Another big problem we have to face is meshing the eyeballs with these cultures so they all fit and work together. We thought they'd be ready by today but they're not."

_Basically, they thought they'd be ready today when Charlie was on the case. Now she's not doing it anymore, it's not going as smoothly anymore. _

_Perfect…_

"But they'll be ready by tomorrow?"

"We're hoping. We can be more lenient with the time we have the eyeballs but not that lenient. Any more time lost and they'll become useless. So, yes, it has to be tomorrow. Once they're not being soaked anymore, they need somewhere to go."

"Fine." Sands huffed. He frowned when he heard Hobbs place something on the bedside locker.

"I brought you Eszopiclone." Hobbs said. "It's a drug that helps fight insomnia. It's basically just a strong sleeping pill."

"Great. Thanks." Sands shrugged.

Hobbs nodded and left the room. "Goodnight, Agent Sands."

"See ya. Tomorrow. Hopefully."

Sands was lying around for a while and when Charlie still didn't appear, he felt around for the pill and water and knocked it back. It wasn't long before he felt the effects.

_Wow, this stuff is strong._

"Sands?"

Sands raised his head when he heard heels in his room.

"I told you I wouldn't be able to see today."

"So, I'm assuming you heard about the postponement." Charlie nodded. "It's a precaution. Everything is still fine."

"It's not though, is it?" He said. "Nothing's fine. Not me, not you, definitely not us."

Charlie could see that Sands was heavily medicated though she didn't know why. And she knew from experience that a drugged up Sands was a loose lipped Sands so she shut the room door and walked over to his bed. "What did you take?"

"One of those fantastical little pills that Calvin left."

"Calvin?" Charlie frowned. "Oh, you mean Hobbs. Funny."

"You know me, zingers at every turn."

"I'll pretend that made sense. What pill was it?"

"En…something. Encyclopaedia?"

"Eszopiclone?"

"Probably."

Charlie nodded. "That is one strong drug. We usually just give patients Ambien. He must have wanted to not have to deal with you for a very long time."

"I keep talking about you."

"Not too much, I hope."

"Don't worry, no one knows about our little affair. Although it's not little, is it? It's freaking huge."

Charlie sighed, sitting on the bed. "The important thing is it's over. Please remember that until you're lucid again. Don't bring it up to anyone."

She knew it was useless asking but she really needed to.

"Remember the last time I was all drugged up?" Sands asked. "And I told you that I was going to get you into bed so you'd get me eyes? Whoever thought that would work?"

"Not me. And it didn't." Charlie pointed out. "I did not get your eyes because I…slept with you."

"Yeah, I had a feeling I wasn't going to get any rewards after we got back from Mexico and I metaphorically bitch slapped you all over the place."

"Charming."

"I'm still convinced you set your little Toyota Corolla on me as punishment."

Charlie frowned. "Toyota Corolla?"

"It's a car. Dependable, does what it needs to do but dull as fuck."

Charlie nodded. "Carr. Boy, you're on a roll. Even heavily sedated, your cruelty is well thought out."

"I'll admit, I'd been working on that one for a while."

"I think she has a crush on you, you know." Charlie said.

"Funny," He replied. "I was about to say the same thing to you. She doesn't shut up about you."

"She's just excitable. So, how are you feeling? Besides nauseous and tired."

"Better now she's gone and you're here."

"I meant about tomorrow."

"Oh, fine."

"Sands, I know you're nervous."

Sands was silent for a second. "I'm not nervous, I'm...hesitant."

"About what?"

"Feeling anything about tomorrow. I literally don't know what's going to happen. If it does work, there is one thing I'm going to be excited about."

"Only one thing? What?" She asked.

"Seeing you."

Charlie felt her heart lurch. "There's those drugs kicking in."

"It's not the drugs. Well…It's kind of the drugs."

"Sands, I think it's best to leave things the way we left them last night."

"I don't want to leave things at 'You didn't give me any reason to want to be with you'."

"That's what you said when you're weren't drugged up so that's what I'm keeping in mind."

"I didn't mean it the way I said it, you know." Sands said airily, letting Charlie know his mind was as drugged as it was going to get before he passed out. "I rarely mean any of the things I say to you."

"Okay, Sands." Charlie replied. "That's fine. Maybe you should try to sleep…"

"No," Sands grabbed her arm as she got up from his bed. "I mean it. I just…your sex …great…but…on the other note that's there…with the other…things?"

Charlie nodded. "You really need to go to sleep."

"But…there's love to…more sex…"

"Okay. I'm going to leave now…" Charlie said.

"I meant more than sex. There's more sex than…That's not right. I meant…"

Charlie put her hand against his cheek, mainly to shut him up. "Goodnight, Sands."

"Goodnight…?" Sands was completely out of it but he knew he had something he wanted to say but just couldn't get it out. His lucid self would be thanking God in the morning. "Doctor…Charlie…"

Charlie smiled and started to walk out of the room.

"My eyes…" He said. "Their colour is brown…"

Charlie looked back at him. "The donated eyes are green but don't worry, we can change them."

"How?"

"I'll tell you in the morning."

"No, now. I can handle…anything you have to throw at me." Sands slurred.

"Okay. We'll change the colour by implanting a diaphragm that covers or dresses the natural iris. It is implanted in a few minutes by a patented painless ambulatory surgery under topical anaesthesia. It's sort of like permanent coloured contacts." Charlie explained.

"Oh..." Sands said. "My eyes are brown."

"Goodnight, Sands."

Sands lay down properly. "Goodnight, Charlie. Love you."

Charlie frowned and left the room, shaking her head.

_Damn, those drugs are strong._

* * *

**It may be astonishing to learn that I am neither a doctor or a genius so if any medical fact is wrong, apologies. The internet isn't as helpful as you think. Lots of really gross pictures though. =P You also might have noticed that there aren't much Mexico flashbacks in this chapter but that's because they're in the second chapter of 'Secrets' and are therefore 'M'. If you don't want to read it, you're not missing much but if you do read it, please review! :)**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	27. Apologies

**Here's Chapter 27!**

Charlie walked through her apartment building the next morning to go to the hospital. She went to get her mail first but frowned when she noticed the cluster of neighbours stop talking at her arrival.

"If you have something to say about or, God forbid, to me, please don't hesitate." She said sharply.

"I am getting tired of being woken up by your midnight escapades with random men!" An elderly neighbour, Mrs. Randall, said.

"Random men, is it?" Charlie replied. "Exactly how many of these random men have you seen come over to my apartment?"

"I heard enough of them banging on your door the other night."

"You mean the one guy? My ex-boyfriend? Well, I do apologise about him but in case you didn't hear the first part, he is an ex and if you all have such good hearing, I'm surprised none of you came to help me when I started shouting for help."

None of the neighbours, young or old, responded to this.

"And it wasn't just one. I heard another banging on your door later on." Mrs. Randall continued. "From that other man, the new one, this time from the inside of your apartment."

Charlie realised that was from her and Sands' little escapade up against her door.

"I heard that too." Vince, the neighbour who had looked after Buster when they had been taken, said. "Now, what you do with your personal life is your business but when I have a little daughter that I don't want hearing that kind of…"

"Did we wake your daughter?"

"Well, no but…"

"Have we ever woken your daughter?"

"No but that's not…"

"Then why bring her up?" Charlie frowned. "Look, if I have caused some noise issues, I do apologise but I will not apologise for my own personal business. I do not bring random men into this building. I had a boyfriend and then I had another one. That is not a crime and it is not slutty." Sands was never her boyfriend but it helped her case here to say he was so she went with it. "I have never complained when I can hear your television from my apartment, Mrs. Randall."

"That is because my hearing isn't very good!"

"I know that." Charlie said. "The same way you know I do not bring random men in here in droves like my apartment is an all-night brothel. So why you make false accusations about me when I never make false accusations about you, I don't know." She turned to Vince. "And I've never complained when I've heard you and your wife fighting in your apartment which, by the way, I would assume affects your young daughter a lot more. So once again, I'm sorry about the noise but I am not sorry about what goes on in my apartment behind closed doors."

Charlie left the apartment building, feeling much better about her standing with the neighbours. Sure, they may all hate her but at least now they knew she hated them too. And for mostly the same reasons. And that they couldn't shame her, no matter the judgments or gossip.

Not a bad way to start off her morning.

* * *

"Well, good morning, Agent Sands. Glad to see you're finally back with us."

Sands groaned as he woke up, feeling very groggy. "What the hell is going on?"

"You're in hospital." Carr said.

"Oh right…" Sands had forgotten that for a second.

"Don't worry, Doctor Macintosh said you'd be really groggy and you probably wouldn't remember anything after those pills."

Sands thought back. He took the pills and then Charlie came in and then…nothing. He couldn't remember a thing. What had happened with Charlie? "Where is Doctor Macintosh?"

"She's in her office. You'll be going down very soon so you probably won't see her…or not that you won't see her but you won't, she won't…"

"I get it." Sands said, cutting her off. "So when am I going to the O.R.?"

"In about a half an hour."

"Oh, that should give Doctor Macintosh plenty of time to get down here and answer a few question I may have."

"Well, I can…"

"I'd rather speak to her."

Carr nodded. "I'll go get her."

Sands heard her leave the room and let out a huff. He really hoped he hadn't said anything he'd regret. As if their situation wasn't bad enough, Sands didn't drugs making it worse.

"You know Hobbs is the one doing the surgery, you should call him instead of me."

Well, she didn't sound pissed off or freaked out. That was a good sign.

"I don't care what I said to him drugged up."

"Ah, I had a feeling it'd be about this." Charlie nodded. "Don't worry; there was no talk of mounting me like a cowboy this time."

"Sugar, I speak like that when I'm lucid. Did I say anything else?"

"Not really." Charlie shrugged. "I think you may have thought I was your mother right before you passed out, though."

"That would be wrong on so many levels so you better tell me why."

"You were just saying 'Goodnight, love you.' Kind of like how a child would or you know, someone who actually had human emotions."

Sands felt the dread bubble up inside him. "It's a little irresponsible to give patients those drugs, you know. They could say or do anything. It could cause a lot of trouble."

"Then you're lucky you were only speaking to me and I know what you're like."

Sands wasn't very convinced.

_She wouldn't have brought it up if she took it seriously. _

_Yes, she would. It's Charlie. She's all about talking about shit like this._

_Not 'I love you'. Not from me. She would have at least waited until after the surgery. She doesn't think anything of it._

_Is that a good or a bad thing?_

_Good. It has to be a good thing._

"Doctor Macintosh? Agent Sands?" Carr peeped into the room from the door. "You'll be going down in a few minutes."

"Thank you Doctor Carr," Charlie said. "I'll be right down."

She went to walk away but Sands stopped her. "Wait!"

"What?" She frowned.

"You have to promise me something."

"I do?"

"Yeah. If that other guy does something, anything that you don't agree with, even just holding the scalpel a way you don't like, you will step in and do something."

Charlie hesitated. "Oh Sands, I don't know. You know I can't."

"No, your peppy little ingénue out there told me you're doing your rehab. That was something I didn't need to know?"

"No, you didn't. Even if I am doing the physical therapy, I can't operate on you. Sands, I'm not cleared for surgery yet. Even if I could, I can't."

"Charlie, this is my sight. Now I know I fucked you over more than probably anyone else in your life and outside of this place, you hate me more than anyone. But in here, in here you're a doctor and I'm your patient and I am not ashamed to use that to my advantage to make you do this."

"You think I'm saying no because of what happened between us outside of here?" Charlie asked. "Sands, I am saying no because I could do more damage to you than help! One spasm, one cramp and you could die. You are being operated on your head. Not to mention that I could…"

"What? Lose your job? You might as well if you're not going to operate anyway."

"I can operate!"

"Then do!"

"Not yet!"

"Charlie!" Sands huffed. She knew he was being serious or sincere when he used her name. "All I am asking is that you stop Hobbs if he does something you don't agree with."

"Doctor Macintosh." Carr said, coming back in. "We need you down in the O.R."

"I'll be right down." Charlie said, aggravated. She turned back to Sands when they were alone again. "I will watch Hobbs. I will instruct. But I can't take over the surgery, Sands. I'm sorry."

"Charlie…"

"Sands, I am sorry." Charlie said firmly before walking out of the room.

Sands sighed, laying his head back on the pillow.

"Agent Sands," Sands heard a man's voice but not one he recognised. "Time to go."

"I'm going down?"

"You're going down." The orderly agreed. "When you come back up, you'll have brand new eyes."

"Yeah but will I be able to see with them?"

"Well, that's what we're going to find out."

"You getting that surgery too?"

The orderly chuckled. "No, Agent Sands. Today is all about you."

"All eyes are on me. Goodie."

"Well hopefully in a few hours, you'll be able to look back."

They brought him down and Sands soon found himself on the operating table.

"Agent Sands, good morning."

Sands let out a non-committal noise when he heard Hobbs' voice.

"Maybe we should just get started."

Sands' nervousness subsided a little when he heard Charlie's voice and he had a feeling that was exactly why she spoke. He was mad at her but thankful for that.

"Alright Agent Sands, I'm going to ask you to count back from ten." The anaesthesiologist said.

Sands felt the mask go on and counted back. He only got to six before he passed out...

"_Did you hear something?"_

"_No."_

"_I think there's someone outside."_

"_Charlie, I'm the blind one and that means I have super hearing and I didn't hear anything."_

"_Okay, first of all, that's not true and I am positive someone is outside."_

_Sands huffed when Charlie got out of the bed and started getting dressed quickly._

"_If we're not about to get shot to pieces, I will be very pissed off."_

_He couldn't deny there was someone outside when the doorbell rang._

"_I told you!" Charlie said._

"_If they wanted to kill us, they wouldn't ring the doorbell." Sands pointed out. "It's Ramirez."_

_Sands got up when Charlie threw his clothes at him and got dressed as she went to go downstairs._

"_Wait."_

_Charlie turned back to him. "What?"_

"_Take the gun. Just in case."_

_That didn't make Charlie feel any safer but she took one of the guns that they took off Lupe and her henchmen. She snuck down the stairs and looked through the glass of the front doors to see the blurred outline of a man._

"_Who is it?" She called, her back against the wall._

"_Ramirez."_

_Charlie opened the door and saw the man she recognised from the hospital the first time she was in Mexico. _

"_Agent Ramirez."_

"_Doctor Macintosh. You look good for someone who's had to spend so much time with Sands."_

"_I learned a few tricks on how to cope." She nodded._

"_Ah Ramirez," They heard coming down the stairs. "Welcome to our humble abode. Well, what I assume is humble…"_

"_Letting her go first to save your own ass. Very nice." Ramirez said._

"_Yeah well, I learnt a few tricks too." _

"_Oh, I have a feeling you've been using people as human shields for a long time."_

"_Enough with the pleasantries, when can you get us out of here?" Sands asked._

"_That's the bad news. I can't."_

"_Wait, what?" Charlie frowned. "But you're FBI. Of course you can."_

"_I was FBI."_

"_You were pretty quick to become it again when it suited your own needs." Sands pointed out._

"_Down here where no one knew what I was doing. I do it again and a lot of questions will be asked. Questions I can't answer without getting arrested myself."_

"_You can't call someone and get us back?" Charlie asked. "We're American citizens. We shouldn't be down here."_

"_I would if you hadn't made such a mess down here. Killing Lupe…"_

"_It was self-defence. She would have killed us if we didn't."_

"_And shacking up in her house…"_

"_It was the safest place for us to go."_

"_Because you're being looked for by the police." Ramirez turned to Sands. "Because you had to get trigger happy in the police station, I've learned."_

"_They were going to hand us over to Lupe!"_

"_Well it's their country and their jurisdiction. They can choose not to extradite felons back to America and they're not going to let you back. I try to make this official and you'll both end up in Mexican jail."_

"_Look, something's happening back in the States." Charlie said. "We've left messages and we're not hearing back. Maybe you can…"_

"_Like it or not, I'm a civilian now." Ramirez said. "Any sway I have at the FBI won't be enough to get you back without a shit storm of extradition laws coming your way. You'll spend all that time waiting for everything to get sorted in jail. And it could take months for you to get back. Do you want to spend months in jail?"_

"_Well, we sure as fuck can't spend the rest of our lives hiding out here!" Sands said. "It's going to get a little obvious Lupe is missing."_

"_Well, you're lucky on that front. From what I hear, no one suspects anything yet." Ramirez said. "And I said you can't get out of here legally. Illegally on the other hand…"_

_Charlie frowned. "What do you mean?"_

"_I know of a way illegal immigrants get out of Mexico and into the States. Since I'm retired, I tend to look the other way when I know it's going on. Make sure not to get caught and you can sneak back into America. It'll be up to you once you hit Texas to get back to Virginia."_

"_You mean you're going to help us smuggle into America?" Sands asked. "Even though we're American?"_

"_Where's your passport?" Ramirez asked._

_Charlie looked back at him. "It's our only choice."_

"_I'm blind. I can't exactly flit around during the night."_

"_We've gotten this far." She said. "We can go a little further."_

"_If it comes down to it," Ramirez smirked. "She can tie a lead around your neck and lead you along like a dog."_

* * *

"_Anyone around?"_

"_Not that I see. Let's pray it stays that way."_

"_I ain't a praying man, sugar."_

"_Well, you better start." Ramirez said from the driver's seat of the car the three were now in. _

"_We better go now while we have a chance." Charlie said. She turned to Ramirez. "Thank you for this."_

"_Just make sure he never comes back."_

"_I didn't choose to come back this time!" Sands said irately from the back seat._

"_Keep making those kinds of decisions."_

_Charlie got out of the car and Sands did the same. They were barely ten feet away when Ramirez reversed and sped off. Charlie led Sands over to the barn that Ramirez had dropped them off by so they could hide out before their run into America._

"_I thought he'd at least stay and make sure you got across if only to rest assured you were out of the country." Charlie frowned._

"_He can't get caught with us."_

"_We're not going to get caught and even if we do, we're American citizens. We just need to get caught on American soil."_

"_How far away is that exactly?"_

"_A few hundred feet. We're going to have to be very quick about this."_

"_Not very easy when you can't see where you're going."_

"_Then you're lucky you have me, aren't you?"_

_Sands knew that the minute they stepped foot in America, they'd be going home. Which meant those thoughts he'd been having about leaving her were going to become much more meaningful. When they were in Mexico, no one knew where they were, no one knew what they were up to. Back in America, they could get found and not just by the CIA, by the any amount of people who wanted revenge from Sands. He was lucky he had her for the time he had but once they crossed that border, it was all going to end._

_Sands leant down and kissed her and although it was just as passionate as all the others, the slowness of it made Charlie feel this one was more about his feelings for her than his want for her. She rather enjoyed that aspect._

"_Very lucky." Sands said when they parted, leaning his forehead resting against hers._

_Charlie was looking forward to having things like this happen when they weren't running or trying to survive, when they were home._

"_We better go." Charlie sighed._

_Sands didn't reply for a few seconds before lifting his head from hers. "Yeah, let's go."_

_Charlie took his hand and they emerged from behind the barn. Every so often, Sands felt Charlie stop him and make him crouch so he assumed they were hiding behind some dried up shrubs or whatever the hell was out here._

"_How close are we?" He asked after what felt like much too much time to still be comfortable in their escape._

"_We're nearly there."_

"_Where is that fence Ramirez told us about?"_

"_One more sprint and we're there. I just need to find that hole. Stay here."_

_Sands frowned. "What?"_

"_I'll go, find the hole in the fence and come back and get you."_

"_What if you get caught and I'm stuck here?"_

"_I'm sure you'll hear the commotion."_

"_Charlie…"_

"_Trust me." Charlie said but he could say whether he did or not, she ran off. He could do nothing but wait._

_To say the few minutes were gruelling were an understatement. Sands couldn't see anything, couldn't hear anything, he was completely on his own. He wanted to shout out to find out where she was but he couldn't. He wanted to suggest they went back and actually did just set up in Lupe's place, just the two of them but he couldn't do that either. Although he was going to have to be an asshole to her very, very soon and maintain that demeanour from then on and he was absolutely positive he wasn't going to be able to do that._

"_Alright, I found it." Charlie said, coming back. "It's not that far. We're going to have to make it in one run though."_

"_What better time than the present?"_

"_Finally going home. Isn't that great?"_

"_Yeah…Fantastic."_

_Charlie took his hand and led him over to where she found the gap in the fence. He climbed through first and then grabbed Charlie's hands, pulling her through. When they both stood, they got ready to run again._

"_Freeze right there!"_

_Sands huffed. "So close." _

"_American soil." Charlie pointed out as border patrol started pointing guns at them and a jeep drove up. "American citizens on American soil."_

_Charlie's confidence was dashed slightly when they started to be arrested._

"_But we're American!"_

"_Where's your passport?"_

"_Huh," Sands nodded. "Ramirez was right."_

* * *

A few hours later, Sands came out of his drugged up memory dream. He woke up to see blackness.

"Oh crap…"

"Your eyes are bandaged. You can't open them."

Sands turned his head to the voice. "Charlie?"

"Welcome back." She said.

Sands noticed how she sounded quite sombre.

"It didn't work." He sighed. "I fucking knew it wouldn't. Where's Hobbs?"

Charlie was silent.

"Charlie? Where is he?"

"Sands, I'm so sorry. I read his file a thousand times. I know it like the back of my hand. His fail rate is nearly non-existent. The man barely ever loses patients. I don't know what happened…"

Sands was getting more nervous. "What happened? Did something go wrong with my surgery? Where the fuck is he?"

"He's in custody."

"Custody? For what?"

Charlie bit her lip. "Attempted murder of a patient."

"What?" Sands asked, shocked. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Everything was going fine. He was doing everything perfectly. I was watching him! I could see everything he was doing. And then I noticed that he was injecting the steroids into your eye socket which we had to do to maintain that throughout the surgery, you wouldn't get a migraine with the eyes which would cause everything to get inflamed and disrupt…"

"Charlie! Enough medical crap and get to the part where the doctor tried to kill me!"

"Sorry. It wasn't by much so it's understandable people would have missed it but I've studied that surgery so many times…"

"And?"

"He tried to give you an overdose." Charlie explained. "It would have been simple. Overdose you and then when you started to…die; it would have been down to the stress of the operation. Maybe not even die, just brain damage. Sands, I'm so sorry. I really don't know…"

"So, what now? Am I still blind? If my surgeon got arrested before the surgery even really started, then…"

"I did it."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"I know I shouldn't have." Charlie said quickly. "I know I should have cleared the entire place out and got you out of that O.R. but I just…I saw the eyes right there and I knew they wouldn't be able to be used afterwards. You could have been waiting years for another donation or might not have gotten one at all and I couldn't let your chance at seeing again go. I just kept thinking about you trying to make me promise and I know, with my wrist, that it was a huge risk, I could have failed or slipped up and it could have ended in disaster but…I had to do it. I knew I could do it. I knew I could do that surgery."

"And did you?"

"It was a success." Charlie said breathlessly as if she didn't believe it herself. "I'm in complete agony, I'm probably going to get my license taken off me or suspended at the least, I did have to have a lot of help from the other staff in there but it worked. It was a miracle that it did but it did."

Sands couldn't believe it either. "So, I can see? Or I will see?"

"We did the response tests and everything is looking positive. We'll take off the bandages in a day or two and you should…"

"A day or two? Why not right now?"

"Well the eyes are still sensitive, everything is still getting used to working together so we're leaving it off for a day or two. But Sands, it worked. You will see again."

Sands didn't know what to say. Or to do. He wanted to jump up and kiss her and be damned with all the sacrifice nonsense. He wanted her to know now how he really felt about her.

"Thank you."

Charlie nodded. "You're welcome."

Sands sighed.

"_Then you're lucky you have me, aren't you?"_

Sands was very lucky to have had her. And not just in bed, in his life.

* * *

"Why did you try to kill Agent Sands?"

Hobbs shook his head. "I didn't try to kill Agent Sands."

"Or better yet, who hired you to kill Agent Sands?"

"I didn't try to kill Agent Sands."

"Doctor Macintosh saw you try to give him an overdose!" Trevor said, annoyed.

"She would have done anything to get me out and her back in." Hobbs muttered.

"She was the one who brought you in in the first place. She told you to stop what you were doing and you continued."

"I wasn't trying to kill him."

"You didn't stop until she alerted the other people in the room and the syringe was wrestled out of your hand. Does that sound innocent to you?"

"Doctor Macintosh has a well-known habit for wanting things done exactly her way. I didn't stop because I thought she was trying to backseat operate."

"That's why she was there."

"She was there to throw me off and make me fail."

"You really believe that? If Doctor Macintosh wanted this surgery to fail, she would have hired an incompetent doctor and despite your recent bout of craziness, you have a stellar record. It's a shame you had to ruin that."

"I didn't ruin anything! That bitch couldn't handle standing at the back and had to cheat her way back into the surgery by slandering my name."

"And did she fill this up too?" Trevor asked, passing over the zip locked clear plastic bag that had the syringe inside it. "That's a lot more than the recommended dosage and we have an O.R. full of people who claimed they saw you fill it. The same people were present when Doctor Macintosh alerted you to the fact that the dosage was wrong and saw you try to proceed, disregarding her warnings. They also saw you try to inject Agent Sands before being wrestled to the ground and dragged out of the operating room." Trevor looked at him. "So I'll ask you again, who hired you to kill Agent Sands?"

Hobbs stayed silent.

* * *

"What was the point of getting dimmed lights installed if you're not going to let me see them?"

"You heard that?"

"Your ice queen tones have a habit of carrying."

Charlie sighed. "At least it was you and not some other patient who might trust me."

"I do trust you."

Charlie frowned at him. "You do?"

"You gave me back my eyes. You won't let me see with them but you got them back. You may be the only person I do trust."

"Oh…I…" Charlie was flustered. "You will see soon enough. But not tonight."

"Nice dodge."

"Thank you."

"Doctor Macintosh, may I speak to you for a moment?"

Charlie looked to the door of the hospital room to see Armisen standing there. She nodded and walked out of the room.

Sands frowned and got out of the bed, walking to the door.

"You were not cleared for surgery!"

"I'm the boss of the medical department! I'm the one who decides who is cleared for surgery!"

"You are not the boss of all medicine! Oh believe me, Macintosh, you're going in front of the board and I am going to make it my personal mission to see you crucified for your actions. You could have killed the man!"

"I gave him back his sight! Why don't you go off and shout at Hobbs? He actually did try to kill the man!" Charlie bit back. "I did what I had to for a patient! I knew I could do that surgery with a hand tied behind my back!"

"You had absolutely no right to perform it! You risked the life of the patient, the integrity of this medical department…"

"And that's all you really care about, isn't it? Your reputation. I did what I had to!"

"What you did was reckless and stupid and you've probably just ended your own career!"

"Well, what a high note to go out on. No board is going to take away my license for successfully performing a surgery like that!"

"To the board, you weren't a surgeon when you performed it!"

"I was a better surgeon than the attempted murderer! Why am I being treated like I tried to kill Agent Sands?" Charlie huffed. "You can throw me in front of a medical board all you like but once they see how that surgery went, especially with an injured wrist, I'm going to get a freaking medal!

"Believe me, Macintosh, the only thing you're getting is a place on the unemployment line. Even if you don't get your license revoked, I'm going to see that your position in the CIA is terminated."

"What?"

"You're fired. Good luck getting work anywhere else when you're blacklisted by one of the biggest agencies in the world."

Armisen walked away and Charlie stood still, absolutely gobsmacked. She just performed an unprecedented surgery and she got fired for it?

Sands was shocked too.

_Charlie just got fired._

"Where do you think you're going?"

Charlie had begun walking back to Sands' room but Armisen had spotted it.

"To check on my patient."

"Oh no, you don't have any patients. You are banned from being here until otherwise stated. Go home, Macintosh. Someone else will deal with Sands."

"You can't do this!"

"I'm your boss." Armisen pointed out. "And unlike Trevor, I'm not interested in getting into your pants so I can be unbiased. Get out of here."

Sands heard Charlie's angry footsteps walk in the other direction and everything went silent. Sands walked back to his bed and got back in.

_You should have gone out there, said something._

_As commanding as I must seem in the hospital gown and huge bandages over my eyes, what could I have done to change Armisen's mind? He hates me as much as he hates Charlie._

_Why does he hate Charlie?_

Sands could understand the bosses hating him and he could even understand Gina Waitrose hating Charlie but why did Armisen? She had a spotless record, no one knew of their affair in Mexico and she was a good employee. So what was Armisen's beef with her?

"Are you awake?"

Sands heard Trevor's voice and another question immediately sprang to his mind. "Did Hobbs talk?"

Trevor sighed. "Not yet. We're working on him."

"I told you. I told you someone was trying to kill me."

"I know. We're very sorry for not believing your regularly paranoid behaviour." Trevor nodded.

"I am not regularly paranoid."

"You are a bit."

"Only when there's something to be paranoid about!"

"Sands, you didn't leave your apartment for over a week at one point. I had to make you come back into the office."

"Yeah, to meet Hobbs. Thanks for that."

"Just…Don't blame Charlie. She honestly didn't know."

"I'm not blaming Charlie."

"Oh." Trevor said, surprised.

"I'm blaming you." Sands clarified. "Mac only had to check his medical credentials; she's not trained to catch murderers like, say, some people around the CIA. You, by the way. I'm talking about you."

"I got that."

"Besides, she performed the surgery. I can't blame her after that."

"I just spoke to Armisen…"

"You're not seriously letting her stay fired, are you?"

"You were listening in?"

"Well, I'll be seeing soon. I wanted to make the most out of ears while they were still the number one sense. Trev, firing her for being a success is crazy and I know crazy."

"I know you do. I'm going to try and talk Armisen down from his crusade to see her fired."

"Why does he want that anyway?"

"He's a stickler for the rules. She broke them. If something had happened between you and her in Mexico and I still think it did, he's the last person you'd want to find out. He's pretty much the only one who enforces that inter-office affair rule all the time, not just when it suits him like the rest of us do."

"Well, he banned her from the hospital too. That can't stick. I need her here."

"Why? She's done."

"No. Follow ups! Taking off the bandages! Seeing her handiwork!"

_Me getting to see her._

Trevor sighed. "Look Sands, like it or not, what Charlie did was completely unethical and illegal. She will have to go in front of a board and if she does lose her license, she will lose her job. Let's not add fuel to the fire and just let Armisen's ban stick, alright?"

"No! Not alright!"

"Sands, it's the best I can do."

Sands huffed.

_Well if she can't come to me…_

* * *

Charlie was lying on her bed, scratching Buster's ear. She had agreed to take care of him, mainly because Sands had no one else to ask. She hadn't so much agreed as insisted. It'd be nice to have a guard dog around with everything that had been happening. She frowned when there was a knock on her door. She watched as Buster got up and ran to the door happily so she got up and followed, opening the door.

"Sands, what are you doing here?" She asked, shocked. "Why are you not still in the hospital?"

"I left."

"Why? Do they know? I'm guessing they don't since your eyes are still bandaged."

"Damn, I thought the glasses covered that." Sands grimaced. "It means I've been walking around this city like an idiot."

"It means you shouldn't have left the hospital. Why did you?" Charlie asked.

Sands braced himself. "Because the doctor that replaced you said that tomorrow these bandages are coming off."

"And?"

"And it means I'll be able to see again."

"Well, that's amazing. Why it made you leave the hospital when there's still risk of infection and…"

"I need to see you."

Charlie was shocked by his confession. "What?"

"Look Mac, you can hate me all you like for screwing you over but we've been through a lot. Of course the first thing I'm going to want to see when I open my eyes tomorrow is you."

"Sands…"

"Charlie, this won't mean anything." Sands lied. "I just…I need to see the person I've spent the last few months of my life with. It's morbid curiosity."

Charlie shook her head. "No. I'm sorry, no."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Sands, this is complicated enough. You don't need to see me."

"No, I really do. I had sex with you. A lot."

"This isn't a good idea. You should go back to the hospital. Don't make things more complicated than they are. You're the one who said this was over."

"I just…I want…You to be the first thing I see when I open my eyes."

Charlie was surprised to say the least but she knew there was no deterring him. She sighed. "Come in."

Sands walked inside the apartment and Charlie closed the door.

"You know this isn't going to be anything romantic, right?" She asked. "No sex or anything. All that is over."

"Okay, fine." Sands agreed. "I'll just…Wake up tomorrow, take off the bandages, see you and then go. Then everything will really be done."

Charlie nodded. "Okay. The spare room is…"

"No."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"I won't try to have sex with you but I'm not staying in the spare room unless you are too."

"Sands…"

"I never have, not before we had sex and I never will." Sands said. "I'm a main bedroom kind of guy."

"You won't try anything?"

"I swear. It might not mean much but think of it as gratitude for the eyes."

"Fine."

Sands was lying in her bed later that night and since he knew Charlie was sleeping, he was confident enough to take her into his arms and now that when she woke up in the morning, he could say she had cuddled up to him herself in her sleep. He couldn't get out of his mind that with her in his arms, in bed without any angry or possessive sex, just sleep, Buster sleeping at the end of the bed, that this was what his life would have been like if he hadn't done what he did back in the Border Patrol station.

"_Do you think they believe us?"_

"_No idea. Hopefully."_

_Charlie looked at him. "At least they let us stay together and didn't separate us."_

"_Yeah, what would I do without your panicked tones bursting my eardrums?"_

_Charlie frowned. "I meant so we could get our stories straight. What to tell them and what to leave out."_

"_Leave out the part where you killed a bunch of people. That would be the smart thing to do."_

_Charlie really didn't understand his demeanour. "Are you alright?"_

_Sands ignored the concern in her voice and soldiered on with his act. "Just dandy. Can you stop talking now?"_

"_Sands…"_

"_So, that's a no?"_

"_What the hell is wrong with you?" Charlie frowned._

"_How do you not get this by now? We're back in America, sugar. That whole 'I care' bullshit is over since I can't fuck you freely here. I've realised it's my job that will get me my eyesight back. That is more important than sneaking off for a quick fuck with you. I get my eyes and the last week never happens to me again. I keep you around and lose my job and any eye transplant, well that's a fucking sorry option to choose. I'll find another fuckbuddy. I had you and now I'm done."_

_Charlie was taken aback. "What?"_

"_Oh great, I'm blind and you're deaf. Listen very closely, sugar. I lied to you." He went on. "I saw an opportunity to get you into bed in Mexico and I took it. A lot. If you believed anything I said after I told you countless times that I am a liar, that is your own stupid fault, not mine. But you know what else is your fault? The migraine you're giving me with your questions. Keep it fucking closed."_

_Charlie was in shock. "Everything was a lie?"_

"_Not everything. I was glad to finally fuck you. I was expecting better but you've only been with one guy so I won't judge you too harshly. You're just a rookie. I knew that."_

_Sands fully realised the severity of his words when she did stop talking. Maybe he had gone too far? Maybe he could have let her down easily? Maybe he could have told her the fucking truth? All these thoughts deafened Sands in the silence._

_Neither took notice when they door to the room they were stuck in opened._

"_Well, we just got off the phone with your boss, Agent Crowley." The guard said. "Everything appears to be in order. We're very sorry for holding you so long." The guard frowned, seeing Charlie. "Ma'am, are you alright?"_

"_Fine."_

_Sands didn't hear her voice shake like she was crying. Maybe she was just very pale._

"_Alright. We'll get you back to Virginia as soon as possible but if you would like to come with us in the meantime to a more hospitable holding room."_

_Charlie got up and left the room quickly, not wanting to be around Sands anymore._

"_Agent Sands? Are you coming too?" The guard asked._

"_No." Sands said. "I'm going to stay in here."_

_The guard frowned but nodded. "Whatever suits you."_

_He left the room and left Sands alone._

_He wouldn't speak to Charlie again until she came into his hospital room looking for more of an explanation after lying to Trevor about what happened between them._

_He wouldn't give her one._

_Then they'd lie some more._

_Then she got the news about her wrist and her ex-boyfriend came back._

_Then he got his eyes and that would lead him to her apartment._

Sands lay in her bed with her asleep in his arms.

"Sorry, Charlie."

* * *

Sands woke up the next morning and saw blackness. But it'd be the last time.

He brought his hands up to his face and gently took off the bandages. He kept his eyes closed trying to prepare himself.

_Come on, don't be a chickenshit. Just open your fucking eyes._

_Look at Charlie._

Sands opened his eyes and though the room was dim due to Charlie pulling the curtains so the light wouldn't hurt him, he still had to close them. But he didn't care about the pain as he opened them again because he could see the ceiling above. He looked to the window and saw a bit of light shining in. He could see.

_I can see._

The thought struck Sands like lightning. After the months of darkness, not knowing what was around him, he could see again. This was probably the happiest morning of Sands' life. He could see the purple walls of her bedroom; he could see the white of her bed sheets. He was surprised to see there was nothing much else to look at in her bedroom. Besides the bed, the room was empty. But that didn't matter because he could see the room was empty.

_Okay now time to look next to you._

Sands' gaze had been focused on the window as he prepared himself to look at the woman next to him.

_Do it._

Sands took a deep breath and turned.

"Jesus Christ!"

Sands calmed down when he realised that Buster was the weight settled in the bed next to him and Charlie was not, in fact, very hairy. "Oh my fucking God…"

Despite the dog giving Sands the fright of his life, Sands smiled, stroking the dog's dark golden fur.

"Hey buddy, I can actually see you…"

Sands knew now that Buster's fur was dark gold. That seemed like a miracle to him.

But there was one very important sight missing.

"Charlie?"

There was no answer.

Sands frowned when he spotted a piece of paper propped up against a vase on Charlie's nightstand. He leaned over and picked it up, reading it over.

_I'm sorry. I can't do this._

_Don't try to find me._

_Goodbye._

Sands frowned. She had left? He got up quickly and walked out of the bedroom. He was shocked to see that not only her bedroom was empty, the entire apartment was. No furniture, no pictures on the walls, no books, nothing. Where was the couch they had made out on so many times? Where was the kitchen table he'd hoisted her onto only for her to tell him to get out? Where was the coffee table he'd banged his shin on? Where was everything? Where was Charlie?

Sands looked back down at the note before remembering.

_"Aren't you supposed to be on a plane?"_

_"I…I decided to postpone. You were right. As a doctor, it was completely unprofessional for me to leave when you were having your surgery."_

_"You're staying?"_

_"Only until you're out of the hospital. If everything goes to plan and you get out when expected, I'll be on a plane."_

_"You're not going to be there when I can see?"_

"She was leaving. She was always leaving…"

Sands hurried back into the bedroom and found his phone, dialling her number although he was surprised when she actually answered.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Sands asked, annoyed. "Were you ever going to let me see you?"

"Yes." Charlie said. "My flight isn't until tonight. I just…I couldn't stay and see you see me and then what? What was going to happen after that?"

"Charlie…"

"I'm sorry, Sands."

"Where are you?" Sands said quickly.

"Goodbye."

"No. Charlie, your flight isn't until tonight. I still have time. Where are you?"

"Goodbye, Sands."

She hung up her phone and Sands tried to ring back but she had turned it off.

"Damnit…"

Sands looked around the empty apartment, realising.

She wasn't just going on some vacation. Wherever Charlie was going, she was going there for good.

_She's not coming back._

* * *

**Sands can see! Writing him just got a whole lot easier! Yay! But aww for the actual plotline.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	28. Hide And Seek

**Here's Chapter 28!**

_10:26 a.m._

_Alright, plenty of time to find her before her flight leaves._

Sands tried to think about where she'd go, any place that might mean something to her. Well, there was the CIA building…And her apartment. That was all Sands could think of.

_Huh, maybe I don't know her as well as I thought._

The apartment was empty so he couldn't look for any clues there. No receipts or business cards or anything that might help. He had searched her bedroom but all he found was a bed, a bedside locker and an empty walk in closet which let him know she liked clothes. That didn't really help. He had searched her kitchen for any notes but found nothing. The only thing that let Sands know this apartment ever belonged to Charlie were the bullet holes on the walls that had been filled in. Nothing else indicated she ever lived there so nothing could help him find her. All he had was himself. And he couldn't figure it out.

_Where would she go?_

Why didn't Sands know? This was the woman he loved. He should know more about her than the fact that she had a job and an address. Why couldn't he figure it out?

_Because you never cared to ask._

Sands thought back to the night he and Charlie had spent in Lupe's mansion. She had asked him questions which he didn't answer and he'd asked her questions that weren't invasive because he didn't want to answer them if she asked them back.

_No wonder she believed you didn't really want her without a problem. You were only interested in the sex._

Sands looked around the empty apartment, deciding there was nothing for him here. He went and got Buster and left the building to return to his own apartment, putting on his sunglasses seeing as his new eyes were still quite sensitive. He'd have to call Trevor so he and the hospital would know Sands hadn't been taken off somewhere and killed. He didn't know what anyone thought. He knew that he'd be getting calls last night that would interrupt his pretending that he was in a relationship with her so he turned off his phone.

"You, again? You're becoming quite the pain in my ass."

Sands frowned and turned to see a tall, blocky guy looking angrily at him. He had dark hair and all those chiselled features that girls seem to care about but all Sands could see was he looked like such an asshole at that moment.

"The only ass I'm concerned with is your ex-girlfriend's, buddy." Sands said before turning and walking away again.

Barry followed him. "Leave her alone."

"I think that's actually her order for you." Sands said, not looking back. "Camping outside her building? I don't think she goes for stalkers but then again, she doesn't go for attempted rapists either…"

Barry grabbed his arm and forced him to turn. "Listen to me, you arrogant fuck, I spent ten years with her. I know her better than you're ever going to and once she's done with this finding the real her bullshit and finished fucking losers, she'll be back."

"You really believe that, Bar? Is that why you're following her around everywhere and annoying the shit out of me?"

"I'm just letting you know how things stand. You were nothing but a quick fuck to get sowing her oats or some shit out of her system. I'm the one who she's going to come back to."

"Okay, now I'm going to let you know how things stand. She left you, she fucked me many, many times, you tried to get her back, she said no, you tried to fuck her and she, once again, said no though that didn't stop you but I did and then guess what happened after I threw you out? Yup, you guessed it. I had sex with her again!" Sands said sarcastically chirpy. "Even if hell freezes over and she does go back to you, I'm always going to be on the side lines, waiting to give her what you never could. And she's proven before; she's going to let me. Over and over and over again." Sands smirked. "Okay, Bar?"

Barry swung for him but Sands moved out of the way and grabbed his arm, yanking it behind his back and throwing him against a parked car on the street, catching several people's attention.

"Alright, so far you've been vaguely annoying but you just do not want to really piss me off, Barry because believe me, you will not live another day if you do."

Sands let him go and threw him to the floor.

"She doesn't want you anymore. Deal with it."

Sands walked off and Barry glared after him.

_11:14 a.m._

"Why the hell did you leave the hospital?"

"Got bored."

"Bored? You got bored? I should rip those eyes back out of your head, you ungrateful bastard."

"Oh believe me, I'm very grateful." Sands said. "To the person who gave them to me. You know, the one you fired."

"I get it; you're in love with her. Give it a rest."

Sands knew Trevor was joking but it still gave him a jolt to hear that. "Hey, I know better than anyone that I'm the last person to be wittering on about loyalty and all that shit but seriously, what if I need like a follow up or something goes wrong? I want a doctor who I can trust not to try and kill me!"

"Oh, so this is all about you?"

"Of course!" Sands lied. "I think you should just call her into the office and explain that you're not going to fire her until I've been able to see for at least as long as I wasn't. I'll even come in too." Sands suggested, much more for his own gain than anyone else's.

"Sands, it's not just up to me. Waitrose is backing Armisen's decision…"

"Of course that shrew is." Sands huffed.

"And like it or not, Armisen had cause to do what he did. Now, you need to come back to the hospital."

"No, I have things to do."

"What could you possibly have to do?"

_Find Charlie, look at her and then try and move on with my life._

"Just stuff."

"Sands, get back into the hospital and get those new eyes looked at."

"Now, is this going to be the doctor that tried to murder me or…?"

Trevor hung up.

_1:45 p.m._

"Why is this taking so long?"

"If you hadn't snuck out, you wouldn't have to wait to see a doctor."

Sands huffed. "Why are you even here?"

Trevor looked at him. "Believe it or not, the CIA actually likes to make sure their agents can function and also believe it or not, none of the other bosses wanted to the job of coming to see if you're up to task again. Last believe it or not, we paid for this so we want to see if we got our money's worth."

"I'm looking at you, aren't I?"

"So what are you going to do now that you have your sight back?"

Sands shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe go to the park…look at…nature…"

"Sands."

"I'm going to go see Charlie."

Trevor shook his head. "No. No way. I can't let you."

"You can't stop me." Sands pointed out. "Come on Trevor, you have to admit that it's only natural that I'd want to see what she looks like. I've spent the last few months of my life exclusively around that woman."

"I'll show you a picture."

"It's not good enough. I'll never believe it's her until I hear the voice come out of the person, nagging at me and getting all annoyed. That's the only way I'll know."

"Sands, I can't prove anything happened between you and Charlie and I can't do anything about it, even though I know something happened, until one of you admits it."

"Exactly. So…"

"But!" Trevor cut him off. "But whatever happened, it did not end well. But at least when whatever didn't well, you were blind which meant you weren't at the top of your game. Well, you're at the top of your game again and if you can screw her up when blind, I don't want to think of what you're going to do to her when you have all your confidence and abilities back. You're not going to see her."

"Yes, I am."

"You don't know where she's going. I do. Therefore, you need me to find her."

"I'm a CIA agent, Trevor. It's my job to find out things."

"I'm a CIA agent too, Sands. A better one. That's why I'm your boss. And it's my job to cover up things. You won't find her without my help, which you're not getting."

Sands realised this was true. "Why won't you help me?"

Trevor frowned. "For all the reasons I just said."

"Mac is a grown woman. I'm not going to destroy her."

"Because that would be so unusual for you."

"Look Trevor, I am serious about this. I do not want to cause any trouble. It's just morbid curiosity."

"Which can wait until she comes back."

"What if she doesn't come back?" Sands asked. He couldn't say he knew for sure because he was never meant to be at Charlie's empty apartment to see it empty. "I mean, why would she? You fired her."

"Hey, I didn't fire her. And she lives here."

"She can live anywhere. Just tell me where she's going or where she is right now."

"That I don't know."

"I thought you were better at finding things out?"

"When I go looking for them. I'm not looking for her so you can take a look."

"Agent Sands? Agent Hartford?"

Sands looked up to see a pale young woman with brunette hair and quite a preppy look about her. He didn't recognise her appearance but he'd never get that shrill voice out of his head.

"Carr."

Carr smiled. "I'm glad to see the operation worked."

"The doctor's ready?" Hartford asked.

"I'll be the doctor, actually."

Sands grimaced. "Fantastic."

_2:37 p.m._

"There, you're done."

"Great." Sands said without too much enthusiasm when Carr was finished with her examination. "Hey Carr, can I ask you something?"

"I…Oh, sure." She said, a little flustered.

"How close are you to Doctor Macintosh?"

"Oh, not very. She's my boss."

"But you know where she might go for lunch or something." Sands prompted.

"Uh, she sometimes eats lunch in her office and she gets it from this little café place. I think the name of Italian…I think she likes Italian food."

"Italian food?" Sands could work with that. "You're a star, Carr." He said, getting up and leaving the room.

Carr smiled before remembering. "Oh wait!"

"What?"

"Your prescriptions." She said, handing him the notes. "First, there's…"

"I'll figure it out." He said, leaving the room quickly.

_Some little Italian café. There can't be too many of them in Langley._

He looked down at his watch. "Right around lunch time."

_4:08 p.m._

_This has to be the one. How many more damn little Italian cafes can there be?_

_A lot more than you thought apparently._

Sands looked up at the sign.

_Puccino's._

He walked inside and looked around. A few blondes, some hot, some not. None of them jumped out at him like he was hoping Charlie would, just because he would know in some weird way that it was her. He walked up to the counter.

"I'm looking for a woman…"

"Aren't we all?"

Sands rolled his eyes. "A specific woman. She eats here a lot."

"What does she look like?" The guy behind the counter asked.

"I have no idea."

The guy frowned.

"Blonde. She's blonde. And she's a doctor. Her name is Charlie Macintosh. She…"

_Damn, why didn't I ever ask her what colour her eyes were or something._

"Buddy, look around. There's a few blonde girls here and any one of them could be a doctor."

Sands huffed and looked around. Charlie could be right there in the crowd of people and he wouldn't even know it. He turned back to the guy behind the counter.

"Can't you like call out for her or something?"

"This is a café, not a supermarket. We don't got microphones."

Sands huffed and turned out to the customers. "Charlie?"

A man looked up and Sands grimaced at him. "Not you."

None of the few blonde women looked up which let Sands know Charlie wasn't one of them. Feeling a tad bit more defeated than before, he left the café, wondering where else she could be.

He took his phone out of its pocket when it rang and was shocked to see Charlie's name appear on the screen.

"Charlie."

"Stop looking for me."

"What?" Sands frowned.

"I mean it, Sands." Charlie said. "Stop trying to find out where I am. Stop trying to see me."

"How did you…? Are you watching me?" He asked, looking around.

"I just turned back on my phone to check my messages. I had four. An angry one from Barry, an annoyed one from Trevor, a warning one from Trevor and a confused one from Carr. All about you."

"Can't blame a guy for being dedicated."

"That is the last thing you are. Why the hell did you attack Barry in the middle of the street?"

"I didn't. Your psycho ex took a swing at me and I subdued him. Did you know he was just waiting outside your apartment? That's what you should be worried about. Although maybe not since you didn't live there anymore. Couldn't have told me that last night, huh?"

"I told you I was thinking of getting a new place."

"Wherever you're going tonight, are you staying there?"

Charlie sighed. "Yes."

"So it's somewhere in America?"

"I'm not telling you."

"How are you leaving? What about your job?"

"I don't have a job anymore, remember?"

"Come on Charlie, they're going to give you your job back. Were you always leaving? You postponed your trip, were you leaving for good then?"

"No. I only made that decision after I got fired."

"But you're going to get your job back."

"I don't think I am, Sands. There's nothing left for me here."

_I'm here._

"So if they offer you your job back, you're not going to take it?"

"I don't know. I don't think my job is going to be offered back to me. I'll be lucky if they don't revoke my licence so I can't ever operate again."

"Why didn't you tell me you weren't coming back last night?"

"How was that conversation supposed to go? I tell you and you'd do what? A few nights before that, you told me I didn't give you any reason to want to be with me, before that you told me you didn't care, that you were finished with me now that you finally fucked me so what the hell did you think I thought you'd say?"

"Is that why you left this morning?" Sands asked.

"I left because I didn't think it was a good idea."

"I did not sneak out of the hospital while still blind and go to your apartment for you to run away."

"I didn't ask you to do any of that. I told you to go back to the hospital."

"Why is this such a big deal?"

"I don't know, why is it?"

"Because I need to know what you look like! You and I had sex, you and I went through everything in Mexico together, you are the only person who's been involved in my life for the past couple of months and…"

"And what?" Charlie frowned.

"And I don't know a fucking thing about you!"

"What are you talking about?"

"I have been racking my brains all day trying to find out where you could be or what you could be doing and I got nothing. I can't figure it out."

"Why do you care?"

"Because I thought…I thought I had you all figured out."

"I told you that you didn't."

"I know. I didn't believe you."

"Take it as a sign. I'm obviously not important enough to be chasing down like this."

"Charlie, tell me where you are."

"No."

"Charlie, it is part of my job to track people down. If I can do it with some loner guitar player without a name, I can sure as hell find a co-worker."

Charlie was about to reply but she stopped at the weirdness of that sentence. "What?"

"Exactly."

"Sands, you just said it yourself. I'm nothing but a co-worker to you. Give it up."

"What? No, I…Charlie!"

"Why can't you just accept that it's not happening? This was your choice!"

"It was not my choice for you to be a chicken shit and run this morning."

"No, it was just your choice to fuck me over. Well, you can't always get what you want, Sands. You can't do what you did to me and then just expect me to do you a favour every single time you want something. I'm done helping you."

Sands huffed. "Just answer me one question."

"What?"

"Was I right about _Puccino's_?"

Charlie was silent for a second. "Yes."

Sands smirked. "I knew it."

"Well, good for you. It's about the only thing you do know about me."

"When was the last time you were there?"

"Sands…"

"Tell me."

"About an hour ago."

"So you're not far?"

"Stop it, Sands! Just stop!"

Sands was surprised by how angry she sounded. "No."

"What?"

"I won't stop. If you hadn't run out this morning, this would be over by now."

"No, Sands. It wouldn't. You want to know what would have happened this morning? Two outcomes, the first would be you liked what you saw and I'd get weak again and we'd still be having sex right now…"

"I do not see a problem with this outcome."

"And the second would be you didn't like what you saw, you'd be the one to run and I'd get weak again and feel completely humiliated and heartbroken. Since my personality isn't something you're very interested in, I think it's safe to say if the first outcome was the one that happened, the sex would not lead to a meaningful relationship and somehow I'd still be humiliated and heartbroken like in the end of the second outcome. Either way, I'm the one who ends up getting hurt. I'm always the one who ends up getting fucking hurt and I can't do it anymore. Leave me alone."

Sands was about to reply but she hung up on him.

"Damnit."

Sands walked to his car which he was driving illegally since his licence had been taken away when he went blind. He got in but before driving off, tried to think of his next move.

_The best place to find her is the place you know she'll definitely be._

_The airport._

Sands smirked before remembering he didn't know a vital piece of information.

_I don't know what time her flight is. It could be in an hour, it could be in five._

_How do I find out?_

_Well, she does a computer in the CIA, all alone, just waiting to be cracked into._

Sands' smirk returned as he started the car and drove off.

_4:50 p.m._

_This is interesting._

Sands had snuck into Charlie's office and it was a bigger jolt than finally seeing her apartment. Mainly because she hadn't cleaned this out. He hadn't expected to see anything too telling about Charlie, figuring that since this was her place of work, she'd take it very seriously but as he looked around, he realised that although she lived in her apartment, this could have very well been her home. On the walls were posters, mainly of movies he assumed she liked. There was a little couch across from her desk, up against the wall which Sands assumed she'd spent a few nights on when working late. There was a bookshelf that was filled to the brim, a CD player and a CD shelf. Her desk which was organised and neat. Once again, nothing giving away anything about the person who owned the office besides what movies and music she liked. There were no personal pictures of friends or family or nothing to let Sands guess where she might be or even who she really was.

_Maybe she just doesn't have a personality._

He walked over to the cd stack and looked at the album sleeves.

_You have good taste, sugar._

He went and sat at her desk, turned on her computer and was greeted with a wallpaper of Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast In Tiffany's. Sands looked up at the wall to see a poster of the same movie.

_Well, at least now I know her favourite film._

_That's something._

_This plan is working already._

Sands was about to click into her internet to get file history but another folder caught his new eyes.

_Eye Transplant._

That got Sands thinking about Charlie writing about him which she had obviously been doing.

_I wonder…Maybe there's more on here than just work stuff. People keep journals on their computers all the time._

_Charlie doesn't seem like the type to write down her personal thoughts on her work computer._

_You didn't think she was the type to have an office full of music and movies. I think we've established you don't know her by now._

Sands couldn't help it and clicked on the folder.

_Crap. Password protected._

_Okay, a password._

_I can guess her password._

_Because I know oh so much about her._

The CIA had a policy on passwords to make the computers harder to crack into. Agents weren't even supposed to trust other agents so it became a case of having to have a number, a symbol and a capital letter at least. And ways of just breaking through passwords couldn't be done on these computers.

_This may take a while._

He sighed, looking around when a picture on the wall took his attention. It was a framed picture of the feet of a ballerina in ballet slippers. He hadn't even taken notice of it before because it seemed like such a generic photo but he realised that it meant something to Charlie which led him to take out his phone and dial her number.

"What, now?" She answered.

"You're a dancer."

"What?"

"I know that about you." He said triumphantly.

"Is that because I told you?"

"You used to be a dancer. Is that why you like Audrey Hepburn so much?"

"How do you know I like Audrey Hepburn?"

"Your favourite movie is Breakfast at Tiffany's."

Charlie was getting freaked out. How was he doing this? "Sands, where are you?" She didn't like this one bit.

"And you're favourite kind of food is Italian."

"That is just one café…"

"You love clothes." He said, remembering her big closet.

"Wow, you guessed I'm a woman."

"You're incredibly organised, either don't have much family or don't care," The message from her father sprang to mind. "Maybe you had a falling out with them years ago…"

"Oh my God, stop it!"

"Tell me I'm wrong." Sands smirked.

"I don't know why you care so much about being right!"

"Because I read people! It's what I do! And my life for the past few months has consisted of thinking I figured you out in the first few minutes I met you. Now, not only is it months after we've met but I would say we've had a pretty substantial relationship and now, you're gone and I've realised that now not only do I not know what you look like, I don't know anything about you. You know what I do know? You're a doctor and you're not even that anymore. You work for the CIA and you don't anymore. You live in an apartment building except you don't anymore. So, really, what do I know?"

"No, the question is why do you honestly care? Sands…"

"What colour are your eyes?"

"What?"

"If I'm not going to see you, I'd at least like to know that."

"Tough luck. Where are you?"

"I'm at your office, trying to break into your computer so I can see what time your flight is at and to where."

"Wha…You are a stalker!"

"Nope, I'm just dedicated."

"Sands, you told me I should be worrying about Barry waiting outside my building and then you broke into my office to find me? What are you going to do? Drive to the airport and hunt me down, look at me and then leave again? What is that going to achieve, except for me being terrified that my history with men consists of a guy who tried to attack me and a guy who stalked me onto a plane?"

"I…" Sands only now realised how incredibly stalkerish that did sound.

"What? Sands, listen to me. Go and enjoy your first day of being able to see in months. Stop looking for me. Stop trying to figure me out. Who cares if you know my favourite movie or what kind of music I like? Who cares if you know a hobby I used to have? You don't even care about me so why is any of this important?"

Sands didn't really believe that she still believed he didn't care about after all he'd been doing just to see her. "I don't care about you?"

"That's what you told me."

"I know what I told you."

"Well, maybe you should remember it once in a while. Because the way you've been acting, sleeping with me and then wanting nothing to do with me then sleeping with me then wanting nothing to do with me, I'm sick of being fucked with, Sands. I can't do it anymore."

"So you just run away?"

"What were you expecting was going to happen? That I'd lose my job and leave my apartment and just find a new home with no job so I can stay in Virginia for no reason?"

"That's another thing. How are you going to afford to buy a new place? You have no job and with you not being able to get one, money isn't going to be easy to come by."

Sands cursed when walking back to her desk, he knocked over her bin.

"What?" Charlie frowned.

"Nothing. Just banged my shin." He lied. "I guess some things just won't change."

He picked it up and started putting the crumpled up papers and such back but frowned when he spotted a pill bottle after rolling away from him. He reached over and picked it up.

_Zoloft?_

_What the hell is that?_

He checked the name was surprised to see that Charlie wasn't the doctor who prescribed it. She was the patient.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned.

"I'm here." He replied, getting back up and sitting back down at her desk. "I don't suppose you want to give me a password to your internet now that you're not going to use it anymore?"

"No, not really."

"And you're definitely not coming back?"

"I'm definitely not coming back."

"Charlie, I just want to see you. Just once."

"Yeah well, I wanted a relationship with you. You can't always get what you want."

She hung up her phone and Sands leaned back on her chair.

"Believe me, sugar, I know it. I wanted that too."

_10:54 p.m._

_Zoloft is an antidepressant in a group of drugs called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs). Zoloft is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorders and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)._

Sands was more than a little shocked as he sat in his apartment and looked at his laptop which had just now let him know exactly what Charlie had been taking in that little pill bottle he'd found.

_Posttraumatic stress disorder?_

_She lost her job, her home, got kidnapped, killed a woman who tried to kill her, ended a ten year relationship, has issues with her father who has recently started trying to get back into her life and that's not even including all the shit you put her through. How did you not expect this?_

When his mind put it that way, Sands wasn't so surprised but was still in disbelief. He had known nothing about this but why should he have? She didn't tell him she was going to rehab for her wrist and as was made very clear today, he didn't know anything else about her.

He didn't even look at his phone when it began to ring, instead just picking it up.

"Hello?"

"My eyes are green."

Sands was surprised. "They are?"

"Yeah. And you know me, Sands. Probably better than anyone."

"I thought so."

"No, you do. You were blind and you were still the only person to see that I was stuck at a dead end. It doesn't matter if you don't know where I would go or what I like, you still know me. You want to know why you don't know anything else, Sands? Because there is nothing else. The job, the horrible relationship, that was it. And that's why I'm going. I really need to find a personality." She chuckled humourlessly but Sands could hear that she was upset.

"Where are you now?"

"At the airport."

Sands really wanted to ask her to stay. Why couldn't he? She wasn't the CIA anymore; there was no risk of getting found out, they couldn't take away his surgery anymore since he'd already had it, why couldn't he ask Charlie to stay with him?

_You're still risking her life._

_I'll keep her safe._

_You'll be on missions._

_Other agents have plenty of relationships._

_None of them were as reckless as you. None of them have made half the enemies._

"Sands? Are you there?"

"Are you going to tell me where you're going?"

"You know, Sands," Charlie said. "If you really thought about it, you'd know."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Let's just say, I've already told you."

"No, let's say some more. Charlie?"

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. You're the agent here."

Sands huffed, knowing he wasn't getting an answer. "Where did you go today?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"I did the stereotypical girl thing. I went clothes shopping."

Sands remembered the walk-in closet in her apartment and figuring she loved clothes but thought that wouldn't help him find her.

_Damnit!_

"I knew that."

Charlie smiled. "I'm sure you did."

"When's your flight?"

"Another half hour."

"So this is probably the last time we're gonna talk? Ever?"

"I guess."

"That's not a no."

Charlie sighed. "When did you stop looking?"

"Who says I stopped? I could be where you're going before you get there. I could be there to greet you at the airport when you fly in."

"Sands…"

"At your office. I left after you hung up. I have to admit, this was not how I planned or wanted to spend my first day seeing."

"You should have never started looking for me." Charlie said. "It wouldn't have done any good."

"I wasn't lying. You were the first thing I wanted to see when I could."

"Sands, I told you why I left. We're already too complicated."

"Were already too complicated. You're not coming back, remember?"

"You can't say I don't have good reason."

"Is there any good reason to come back?"

That threw Charlie. "Are you giving me one?"

"What if I said yes?"

"Sands, are you asking me to come back?"

"If I said I was, would you come back?"

"Sands, this can't really be hypothetical, I need a yes or no."

"So do I."

"Then ask the question."

Sands was silent for a second. "I can't."

"Then I can't come back. Goodbye, Sands."

"Bye, sugar."

Charlie smiled sadly, hearing the endearment before hanging up.

Sands sighed and put the phone down.

"No, stay, please, I love you." Sands muttered, knowing he should have said that to her but not having the guts. He looked over at Buster who was curled up on another chair. "I guess it's just the two of us from now on."

Buster looked over at him.

"If you leave, dog, I'm going to hunt you down and wear you as a coat."

* * *

**Hmmm, do you think Sands are going to leave things be?  
**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	29. The Story

**To (_): I think Sands would wear Barry as a fur coat before he'd consider doing it to Buster. =P Thanks!**

**Here's Chapter 29!**

Adam Ryan was at the end of his rope. He had never wanted for much and coming from a family with not a lot of money, it was incredibly practical. It felt like the luckiest day of Adam's life when he found out he'd received a scholarship and would be the first in his family to go to college. But when he got to the campus, things seemed to go from incredibly lucky to an absolute nightmare. Never having money to go out with his new friends or buy the newest gadgets seemed like a reason to be pitied and he hated it. It wasn't even dislike from his classmates and potential new friends which he could have chalked up to ignorance and shallowness but downright pity. The sympathetic looks and the words of encouragement drove Adam insane. But then one of these new friends came to him with an opportunity to make more money.

Even in his desperate state, Adam wasn't sure about the proposition when he found out it was dealing drugs but after a few more weeks, his frustration and desperation overruled his common sense and he accepted the offer. He had never taken drugs but his life seemed to get much better when they were involved. He didn't have work hours or shifts so it wasn't hurting his grades and he could have a life with luxuries and fun as well as education now. Things went real well for a while, besides having to hide all the new clothes and expensive items he'd been able to buy from his parents when he went home. But everything was ruined when Adam's "friend" was caught and ratted out Adam in hopes of leniency. It wasn't given and both were expelled. The only saving grace Adam had in the whole situation was that his parents had gone to stay with his sick grandmother so the college couldn't get in touch with them yet. Messages were left and Adam pretended that they were off in some foreign country and couldn't be contacted but he was still made leave campus and he realised he had nothing left to do but go home and tell his parents who would kill in him in anger or worse, be ashamed of him in disappointment.

He debated with himself for days over what to do while staying on a friend's couch but early on a Wednesday morning, as the sun was coming up, Adam left the tiny apartment and got on a bus. He travelled to just outside the town to where he knew a favoured hiking spot was but had never actually gone to himself and walked along. Every time he saw a hill, he walked higher and higher until he found himself at a closed off section, a cliff edge that had been barricaded off for the safety of hikers. Safety wasn't on his mind this morning so Adam climbed over the ledge and leaned over, his hands behind him grasping the railings.

_This is it. I'm going to do it._

_Can't be a failure if I'm not around anymore._

"Thinking of ending it all?"

Adam frowned and looked over his shoulder to see a man coming to stand by him behind the railings.

"Who are you?" Adam asked breathlessly.

The stranger took on a caring expression. "I'm your guardian angel, come to convince you that you do have something to live for."

Adam's eyes widened.

"No, I'm just kidding ya," The guy chuckled, slapping Adam on the back, a very dangerous thing to do, considering where he was. "I'm just a hapless CIA agent who likes to come here and look at the scenery, thinking about the girl I lost. Of course it's a woman. Isn't it always? Woman for you?"

Adam shook his head.

"Oh, well it's nearly always." Sands shrugged. "Charlie Macintosh. The love of my life. And the bane of my existence. Damn woman ruined me. You see, it all started when I was sent to Mexico…"

"What…What the hell are you doing?"

"Dude, you're about to jump into a canyon, you have to time to listen. Now, it started when I got sent to Mexico for my job…"

* * *

"So, why are you here?"

Charlie sighed. "I was told I needed therapy."

"By who?"

"Everyone, practically. Well everyone who doesn't know anything about me."

"Why would you listen to people who you don't think know you?" The therapist sitting in a chair across from her, a middle aged woman in a maroon suit and holding a writing pad in her lap. Charlie didn't think that actually happened outside of movies.

"Because it shut my family up. It's practically tradition that everyone goes to therapy eventually. I came back here a few weeks ago and apparently I've done nothing but mope around and it's just not that fun to watch."

"Is that really why?"

Charlie was silent for a second before shaking her head. "No. Maybe they're right. I've been having a rough time lately."

"How so?" The therapist asked.

"I…I lost my job. And my apartment and…"

"And?"

"Nothing." Charlie said, shaking her head. "It's not worth talking about."

"Okay." The therapist would definitely be getting back to that later. "So, you lost your job and apartment, money troubles?"

Charlie looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "If I was having money troubles, do you really think I'd have the money to come to you?"

"Good point."

"I lost my job because I'm a surgeon and my wrist got injured and I lost my apartment because…It's all related to this thing that's not worth talking about."

"Well, if this thing is the crux of your problems, maybe it is worth talking about."

"I don't think I can."

"Charlotte…"

"Charlie."

"Charlie," The therapist said. "I don't know you personally and personally, I don't care. But you do. So you need to talk about these things."

"Wow, you're honest."

"I have a feeling you wouldn't appreciate bullshit."

"You'd be right." Charlie sighed. "Alright, this is completely stereotypical and shameful to admit but it's a guy."

"Ah," She nodded. "It didn't end well?"

"It didn't start well, it didn't progress well, it didn't end well."

"You two were together?"

"No. Yes. No." Charlie huffed.

"So it's complicated?"

"You have no idea."

"So tell me."

"I worked with him." Charlie explained.

"So he was a doctor too?"

"Sure, why not?"

The therapist frowned.

"He was my patient." Charlie admitted. "It's not allowed where I work. Worked."

"Is that why you lost your job?"

"No. They never found out."

"So you two were in a relationship?"

"Not a relationship, it was…I don't know what it was. We worked together for months on his recovery and to be honest, it was torture. I had been going out with my boyfriend of ten years, Barry, and I didn't know this guy for two days when he admitted that he planned to get me into bed."

"And you didn't transfer him to another doctor?"

"It wasn't that easy. You see, he had a surgery coming up and I really wanted to do it. More than anything I'd ever done in my career. And I work mostly with men so I wanted to prove that this wouldn't get to me. I kept treating him and it was awful. Not the kind of awful where it's great between us but we have rules. It was literally awful. I always tried to help him and he belittled me every chance he got, he tried to get another doctor when I wouldn't do what he wanted, he always came onto me and never stopped talking bad about Barry. He was so inappropriate and always drove me crazy."

"But you liked it?"

"No, I didn't! I hated it."

* * *

"It was great."

"How is that great?" Adam frowned. He had come in from the ledge and was sitting on the ground, facing this crazy man was sitting on the railings, who didn't seem too scared of falling back and falling to his death. "You sound like you two hated each other."

"All sexual tension, my dear jumper, all sexual tension." Sands nodded. "She wouldn't admit it but the way she kept buzzing around me, I knew I was in with a shot if I played my cards right."

"But you only wanted to sleep with her for your surgery?"

"At first but then it became more of a game. I like games. I like winning, even if I rig the entire to my favour. Rigging it is still winning because you still beat everyone involved by making them believe you won fair and square. It's all just a game but your game is different to everyone else's."

"It had nothing to do with the fact that you were blind and she was helping you? Maybe you misplaced your feelings of thanks for attraction?"

"What are you, a therapist?"

* * *

"So how did he become trouble?"

Charlie sighed. "I was an idiot. I let things become personal. I thought that beating him at his own game was the way to handle him but it just gave him an advantage. Then I tried the opposite, I tried to remain completely professional but he wouldn't let that happen. I was out with Barry one night and we got mugged. I realised then that San…he was right about Barry."

"You broke up with Barry then?"

"No. I wish I did because the next night, I kissed him."

"Your boyfriend or your patient?"

"Patient. Well, he kissed me. He overheard the restaurant I was meeting my Barry at and went to the bar across the street to wait for me to turn up when Barry stood me up which I did and got caught off guard."

* * *

"Isn't that a bit stalkery?"

"No, dedication! It's dedication." Sands replied.

"So what happened after you kissed her?"

"Oh, she ran away but the point is, she kissed me back which proved that I was right. She did want me back and if I caught her off guard at the right times when her defences were down, I would get her into bed in no time.

"Did you follow her again?"

"Alright, let's make this clear. I didn't follow her the first time. Following someone is going to a place where you know that person is at that moment. I was at the bar first. And no, I didn't follow her for the first time. I didn't follow her at all. I let her go."

"Why? If she kissed you, that means she was interested, why not try and see it through?"

"I wanted to give her time to think about her own feelings. Clearly they were some good ones there for me so if I let her stoop on those, what would happen?"

"She'd put her guard up around you."

"Wrong. So very wrong. She'd do the opposite. She wouldn't know how to handle the situation and that meant her defences would be down. I just had to wait to get her alone again which luckily I was doing every day in rehab anyway."

* * *

"So you kissed, then what?"

"I tried to go back to normal the next day…"

"Even after the kiss, you wouldn't transfer the case?"

"No. I wanted that surgery. I tried to go back to normal but, of course, he wouldn't drop it. We…kissed some more."

"If you hated this man, why keep kissing him?"

"Because…We had great chemistry." Charlie shrugged. "I mean, he drove me crazy but there was something. I wasn't used to people one upping me and he was on my level, higher when it came to knowing people. Me, in particular. He knew more about me than anyone I'd ever known my whole life."

"So, he got you?"

Charlie was sombre. "Completely. No matter how much I tried to deny it."

"Go on."

"Well, then Florida happened."

"Florida?"

* * *

"Ah, Florida. Good times."

"What happened in Florida?"

"I very nearly got what I wanted."

"Nearly? Why was Florida great if you only nearly got what you wanted?"

"Because she admitted she wanted it too. Florida was when I knew for certain that I was going to succeed. Florida changed the game so there was only one winner and that was me."

* * *

"You see, we had to go for work."

"Your patient had to go with you for work?"

"No, I had to go for work. He followed."

"He stalked you?"

"No. He went because there was a meeting about him taking place. You see, it's even more complicated. I worked in the medical section of a company and he worked in another section. So we had the same bosses. If they found out, we'd get fired."

"That does make things more complicated."

"You don't know the half of it. One night, I got drunk and when I woke up, we were in bed together."

"You slept together?"

"No. We were going to but I fell asleep. I was furious because I had been so drunk."

* * *

"You were going to have sex with her when she was drunk? Didn't you think that was a little…skeevy?"

"No."

"But you said she couldn't even walk straight, how could you sleep with her knowing she couldn't rationally make that decision?"

"Oh, she had, I was just hurrying the entire thing up."

* * *

"You hadn't been in the right mind to make those decisions?"

"Not at all."

"And you didn't report him?"

"Surgery."

"Right."

"I stormed off the next morning but I forgot my purse. He brought it back later and we argued like always. Barry called me then and he threw my phone out the window which screams possessiveness."

"You do realise you have no problem saying Barry's name but you have yet to say your patient's?"

Charlie sighed. "Sands."

"Sands. Go on."

"He came by later on again and…I admitted that I wanted him."

* * *

"So she wouldn't have minded the night before?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't go that far." Sands grimaced, remembering the knee to the groin.

* * *

"Did you think that would help? Telling him how you felt?"

"No." Charlie sighed. "I was just at the end of my rope. I did want him."

"It happened then?"

"No. We were about to but we got interrupted. By our boss. He didn't catch us because I made Sands hide in the bathroom. I felt ridiculous and weak and…awful. I went to my meeting and while Sands was in his, I left and went home. Barry was furious when I got back about the phone and I had had enough. I broke up with him. Sands was convinced it was because of him but it honestly wasn't. I just needed to."

"Would you have done it if Sands hadn't come into the picture?"

"I don't think I would have admitted anything was wrong. I would have just stayed wrapped up in my job and not taken any notice."

"So that's a no?"

Charlie nodded. "But I didn't break up with Barry because of or for Sands."

* * *

"That was definitely one of my proudest achievements."

"Breaking them up?"

"Of course. The guy was a douchebag and she would have been stuck with him forever if I hadn't convinced her to do it."

"How did you convince her exactly? You were still in Florida."

"Shh."

* * *

"Then things got really bad."

"You slept together?"

"Not yet."

"Keep going."

"Sands had a few…enemies. They came to find me to make sure I didn't perform the surgery. They…broke my wrist and slashed my arm open."

"Those are some dangerous enemies."

"Yeah. Sands came to my apartment that night to find out what had happened. To get it out of me, he ripped my stitches open. I threw him out but he came back to take me to the hospital."

* * *

"And she let you? Even after you hurt her?"

"What can I say? I'm a very persuasive and charming individual."

* * *

"If it got found out that I had to go back to the hospital, there'd be questions asked by my bosses and they could find out Sands was at my place and that we had been…"

"Having sex?"

"No! Making out, not having sex. Anyway, once we got back to my apartment…"

"You brought him back to your apartment?"

"Not to have sex if you're going to ask."

"What happened?"

"We slept together."

The therapist raised an eyebrow.

"As in sleeping. In the same bed."

"An interesting decision to make seeing as how he'd just injured you so badly; you had to go back to the hospital."

"I'm an interesting person."

"Now that's true."

"The next morning, we talked. I might have admitted that I actually cared about him."

* * *

"Well, that was good. You got what you wanted."

"Yeah, not exactly."

"Huh?"

"I ran out of the apartment."

* * *

"Later that day, I caught him having sex with our female boss who hates me."

"It sounds like this guy should be in therapy."

"I don't think that would help."

"What did you do?"

"I told him that I meant I cared about the surgery, told him I didn't care at all and he got odd with me."

* * *

"But wasn't that what you wanted? Her not to care?"

"No. I wanted her to care because I was definitely beginning to care."

"But you ran out that morning because she said she did care and then you had sex with that other woman."

"Like I said, I'm complicated."

"I don't think you said it."

"Oh, well then, I'm complicated."

"So what did you do then?"

"I broke into her house."

"Of course."

* * *

"We argued some more and then I decided I'd get the truth out of him. I asked him to stay over again and I put on some really sexy lingerie and did this whole seductive thing telling him that we could have sex for one night like he wanted and then he'd have to leave me alone."

"You thought doing this would make him confess that one night wasn't enough?"

"Yeah."

"You two have a very weird power play situation."

"Tell me about it. He said I wasn't acting like myself which I wasn't and he wouldn't have sex with me because I was submitting. He wanted me to not be able to resist. I locked myself in my room and we talked through the door for the rest of the night. It was really…eye-opening. When he found out that I did care, he ran out again."

* * *

"Why did you run out again?"

"Because I finally admitted to myself that I cared about her too. That was just…pathetic. And if I stayed around, I would have admitted it which would have been even more pathetic."

"Why?"

"Because I shouldn't have cared about her."

"But you put all this effort into pursuing her; surely it was obvious you did?"

"Have you not been listening to the story?"

"What happened after you left?"

"I got shot."

"What?"

* * *

"He came back a few hours later."

"He seems to not be able to stay away."

"Well, actually, he had gotten shot."

"Oh?"

"By the same people who hurt me. He didn't want to go to the hospital so I took care of him. Then we got kidnapped."

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, the people burst into my apartment, shot the place to pieces and took us. That's how I lost my apartment."

* * *

"It was a shame really. That was a nice place. Well, what I saw of it."

"You two were…kidnapped?"

"And taken to Mexico."

"Did you find out who was doing all this?"

"Oh yeah. You remember Ajedrez?"

"The woman who tricked you back in Mexico?"

"Yeah. It was her mother who apparently wasn't too happy with me and wanted her revenge. I was more panicked that I was more worried about Charlie rather than myself. That was just…"

"Pathetic?"

"Now you're catching on." Sands said. "Lupe, the mother, locked us in a room and we tried to plan our escape. I had this perfect plan on how to get out of there but then little miss genius had to go and ruin it by making a ruckus about not being involved in it."

"You weren't going to involve her?"

"Of course I involved her but I knew the place was probably bugged so I couldn't say anything out loud and when she copped on I had a plan and hadn't told her about it, she started shouting and ranting."

"Well, I can see why. She did think you didn't care about her."

"Yeah, take her side, why don't you?" Sands asked sarcastically. "I realised she had formulated her own plan and her ranting and raving was meant to be heard so we could be separated and each work out our own individual plans. Only when Lupe came in did she realise my plan included her all along. I bet she felt pretty stupid then."

"Then what happened?"

"Lupe shot her."

"She killed her?"

"No, she didn't really shoot her. In my blind state, I heard a gun go off, a body fall to the floor and Charlie didn't speak anymore to reassure me so I thought they killed her when actually, they just drugged her and dragged her to a different room."

"Why do that?"

"To make me feel what Lupe felt. The loss of someone I cared about."

"But you never actually admitted to caring about her."

"Lupe was a perceptive broad. Useless mob boss but perceptive. I just lay around for the next few hours feeling like the rug had been pulled from under me but then Charlie snuck into my room. She'd gotten away from her guards and came back to get me."

"You two escaped?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I tried to get her to go without me. I knew my blind ass would only waste time and after thinking she had died, I didn't want to feel that again so I tried to hurt her into running alone."

"Did she?"

"No, even after I did everything to hurt her besides badmouth her mother, she was still adamant that she got me out too. But then Lupe came in on us and trapped us in the basement."

"Why not just kill you both then?"

"Like I said, she was awful at this whole thing. Luckily, we got out of there too. Charlie snuck us to the garage where we stole a car and got out of there."

"You got back to America?"

"Nope, ran out of fuel and had no idea where we were. We went to a motel not far away."

"She probably never wanted to see you again for getting her into all this danger."

Sands smirked. "Not exactly."

* * *

"That night I just decided not to fight it anymore."

"You got tired of all the pressure?"

Charlie shook her head. "I got tired of saying no when all I wanted to do was say yes. So I did."

"You two slept together?"

"Yeah."

"How did you feel afterwards? Regretful? Ashamed?"

"No. I felt great." Charlie shrugged. "The next day wasn't any different than the night before. Except that when I asked if this meant we were together, he bolted."

"He ran out again?"

"I thought I had scared him off for good. I felt like such an idiot. But then he came back and he told me he wanted to be with me."

"He did?"

* * *

"Well, I did want to be with her. I'm used to getting what I want."

"But I thought you didn't want to admit it that you cared about her?"

"Time change, people grow."

"In one night?"

"It was one hell of a night. Believe me, a night like that and you'd be doing whatever you could to make sure it happened again too."

"So you were only telling her these things so you could have sex with her again?"

"No, I actually wanted to be with her."

* * *

"Then what happened?"

"We got across the border."

Charlie felt it was probably wise to leave out the part where Sands shot a cop and she killed a bunch of people.

"You two were safe?"

"For the most part, yeah." Charlie nodded. "And then things changed. He changed."

"Meaning?"

"He told me what wanted nothing to do with me anymore now that we were home. He'd gotten what he wanted and he was done with me. He said it was all a lie and that he never wanted to be with me, he was just trying to get me into bed. Oh and that was even a let-down, apparently."

"He was crass about it?"

"He was malicious about it." Charlie sighed.

* * *

"How could you do that?" Adam asked angrily, much to Sands' surprise. "That's just stupid! Like, actually a moronic thing to do! You spent this entire time chasing her, you finally get her and you just…Are you an idiot?"

"Kid, keep talking to me like that and you won't have to jump off that cliff cause I'll throw you over it."

"I just don't get it! And the things you said…"

"I had to seem convincing."

"But, why? Why did you do all that? Do you just like screwing with people?"

"I used to. I used to be great at it. Not with her. I hated it but I did what I had to. I would have gotten her killed."

"So your job was more important?"

"My job was there before she was and I did a lot of things to put my name on dangerous people's blacklists. I was protecting her."

"By hurting her?"

"Yes."

"So what did she do?"

* * *

"I feel stupid for this but…I slept with him a few more times after that."

"Did you think that would achieve anything?"

"At first because it seemed like I was in control but soon, it just became a way to temporarily relieve all the pain."

"The pain he caused you?"

"Not just him. The job, the life in general, everything that reminded me of how shit my life had become. Sleeping with him brought me back to when we were…whatever we were, not together like I thought. It just…made me feel better. I tried to tell myself to refuse every time but I couldn't."

"So why were you so attracted to him?"

"Because he made me feel like there was more to me than just a doctor, that there could be a part of my personality outside of work that was attractive to someone. I…didn't hate myself. I felt free and relaxed and…"

"Like someone finally knew the real you?"

"Yeah."

"For someone who takes her job that seriously, you risked it?"

"I thought really long and hard about it. Until we had sex. Then my thought process became very one sided."

"Is he that good?"

"Oh yeah."

"So, tell me how this thought process went."

"Okay, basically I knew if I did get caught with Sands, I could be in huge trouble. But then I thought well surely they wouldn't fire me because they were the ones who sought me out. But it still could have gone on my record. I would have found it very hard to get a job anywhere else if I needed to. My bosses, they take rules very seriously. One rule is no inter office romances, people in our line of work need to be clear headed and professional with each other. But then I figured, I was just a doctor there. I wasn't one of the top dogs like Sands was. It's not like I'm going to go out and dong what they did."

_Going out into the field_ _and accidentally kill someone because I was too busy being gooey eyed over Sands._

"But Sands' job didn't matter?"

"He was blind. He couldn't do the big jobs either."

The therapist frowned. "He _was _blind?"

"That surgery I was going crazy for? Eye transplant."

"Oh, I get it now."

"That was another thing. He was blind; he didn't know what I looked like. Surely that was a good thing, he wanted me and it wasn't based on my looks. Then I thought did I want him to get an eye donation? But, of course I did. The surgery. But what was going to happen if he got a brand new pair of eyes and when he saw me, he decided I wasn't that great?"

"And?"

"I figured that was just gonna be something I had to deal with." Charlie shrugged. "But then I began to panic. What if I gave him his eyes and then he didn't want me anymore and I would be left jobless and alone?"

"That doesn't sound like a simple thought process."

"Oh, for me it's quite normal." Charlie huffed. "I overthink everything. But you're not wrong. Right then, I was in bed with this man and I wanted nothing more than to turn my brain off. I was giving myself a hundred and one reasons not to be with Sands, why the affair was a bad idea but I couldn't bring myself to find any reason good enough to not be with him. I was just…I was so sick of always being so proper and sensible all the time! Sands made me feel good and I wanted to keep that. I wanted the whole little sexy secret affair thing; I wanted to stay there, in his arms."

"You were risking a lot."

Charlie looked at her sadly. "I didn't care."

"Charlie, I'm going to ask you may not want to answer or not know how to answer."

Charlie knew what was coming. "Okay."

"Are you in love with him?"

Charlie sighed. "I thought I was. And then I convinced myself I wasn't."

"What do you think now? Sitting here and telling this story?"

* * *

"She has to, right?" Sands asked. "I mean, you know what I'm talking about."

"I've never really been in love or in a situation as crazy as that." Adam frowned. "Did she say she was?"

"No, she said she wasn't."

"Well, isn't that your answer?"

"No! Because I hurt her." Sands said. "She was bitter and wounded and she made herself believe she didn't but then…You don't keep having sex with someone you don't love."

"But you told her she didn't give a reason to be with her. You were still being horrible. Why would she love that?"

"She did the surgery! She lost her job because of it! She could lose her license…"

"To do the surgery she'd been waiting months for and been putting up with you for, no matter how much she seemed to hate it. She did the surgery because she'd been waiting for it and wanting it for months, not for you."

"You don't know that. You don't know her."

"I only know what you told me and I know if I were in her position, the only thing stopping me from jabbing a scalpel into your neck on that table would have been my duty as a doctor. You screwed her over, man. Totally. She may not admit it but it has to be one of the reasons she left."

"Yeah, I'm not an idiot. I know that too. So, now you know my story, why were you ready to take a flying jump?"

Adam looked embarrassed, his problems seeming kinda small than having your eyes ripped out and trying to be killed a few times, once by a doctor and losing the woman you love. "I got expelled from college and I can't face my parents and have nowhere else to go."

Sands looked at him unsympathetically. "Kid, go home."

"It's not that stupid. I was the first in my family to go to college and since my family don't make a lot of money, I started dealing but then I got caught and..."

"Did the college call the police?"

"No, they didn't but that's only to protect their reputation!"

"Have you ever gotten in trouble for this kind of thing before?"

"No."

"If you're the first in your family to go to college, does that mean the rest of your family don't know how to say the alphabet and have thus never gotten a job nor had fulfilling lives?"

"No, they work but…"

"Can you apply somewhere else like community college?"

"I guess but…"

"Kid, go home. Maybe join in community theatre or something because the over dramatics are spectacular."

Adam stood up. "I don't think I have a choice. I'm a failure…"

"At what? At college? Learn a trade. At making good choices? Everyone in the world is. At being a good kid for your parents? At least you have parents who will be disappointed. You could have parents who don't care or no parents at all. The only thing you're failing at right now is manning up to your mistakes and facing the consequences with balls. You want to show you're smart and mature? Go home and face the music with some dignity and stop feeling sorry for yourself because let me tell you right now, life sucks and it's our responsibility to make it suck less. You can't succeed if you throw yourself head first down a mountain. But if you want your entire life to be about failure, be my guest. Otherwise, go home and stop being a coward."

Adam was silent for a while.

"Are you going to go find her?"

Sands huffed. "I've tried."

"Are you going to try harder?"

"Yes."

Adam nodded. "Okay. I'm going to go home. And thanks."

"Don't mention it." Sands saw his grateful look. "No, seriously kid, don't. You tell anyone what I told you, that you or I were even here and I'll hunt you down and I'll be the one to kill you."

"Uh…Okay…"

"Good, now run along home."

Adam left the clearing and Sands sighed.

"What an idiot."

He wasn't sure if he was talking about the kid or himself.

* * *

"How was therapy?" Rachel, Charlie's older sister, asked later that day when she stopped by Charlie's new house, or old house Charlie guessed since she had lived there before moving to Virginia.

"Good. Got a lot out."

"Did it help?"

"Yeah." Charlie walked into the kitchen and took a bottle of water out of her new fridge.

"Do you feel better?"

"No."

Charlie left the kitchen and Rachel frowned, following her out onto the decking that overlooked the beach.

"No?"

"It was only one session. I don't know if I'm even going to go again."

"How did it help if you don't feel better?"

"Because I needed to get everything I've been holding in out. I feel better because I did but not better about the situation."

"Which you still won't tell me?"

"You know some of it."

"I know you moved back out here, away from your job and Barry and…"

"Eh, Barry and I were finished for a long time before this decision."

"You could have told me, your sister, about this new development in your life. That was a ten year relationship, Charlie. You never came home, never called and all of a sudden, here you are. Back for good. What happened?"

"Rachel, I've been talking about it all day. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"This is why mom suggested a therapist. You're adamant to make people worry about you."

"No, mom suggested a therapist because she thinks throwing money at problems makes them go away. The more expensive the treatment, the better it has to be. I was happy lying around here, getting a tan and taking it easy for once in my life."

"You don't take it easy; you've never taken it easy. Why the hell are you starting now?"

"Because life just got too damn complicated." Charlie took a drink of water before smiling at her sister. "So I quit."

"You quit life?"

"I quit my life. Now I'm trying to get focused on starting a new one. Without doctors and hospitals and…"

"Everything you love?"

Charlie was walking back into the house but turned to her sister first. "Yup."

She went inside and Rachel shook her head.

_My sister's gone crazy._

* * *

"Dead? What do you mean dead?"

"I mean, he was found hanging in his cell this morning." Trevor explained.

"Wait, Hobbs hung himself?"

"We think so."

"You think he might have been murdered?" Sands asked. "Had he talked yet?"

"Not a word." Trevor said.

"What do you mean not a word? You could have tortured him to get him to talk."

Trevor threw him a tired look. "Maybe that's what he was afraid of which is why he did what he did."

"Or someone didn't want him to talk."

"Well, we know he was hired...Turns out Hobbs had some pretty hefty gambling debts that his salary wasn't taking care of."

"But you don't know who hired?"

"Not one of the things we know, no."

"Fantastic." Sands said sarcastically. "Well, it's got to be someone from the CIA."

"Whoa, wait a minute," Trevor said quickly. "You cannot just throw around accusations like that. You have no proof."

"Proof? Who else knew Hobbs was doing my surgery? Who else could have gotten to him? It's obviously the same person who deleted our messages to you from Mexico. Also, I've been thinking, what if the person who deleted those messages was also the person who let Lupe's henchmen into the CIA in the first place?"

"What? Sands, no. You're being paranoid again. Those guys got in using Charlie's key card."

"Oh, come on! The CIA building is not that easy to sneak into! You know it and I know it. I'm thinking someone from in here was working with Lupe."

"Did she ever mention working with anyone from the CIA?"

"No, but…"

"If she thought you would be dead, she would have said something. Seriously Sands, the paranoia is doing you no favours."

"I was nearly murdered on an operating table! It is not paranoia when things like that are actually happening! I think someone knew Lupe, consorted with her men up here and then when we got taken, deleted your messages so no one would know where we were, then we got back and my eyes came in. They couldn't risk me getting back my eyes and being able to be a proper agent again so they hired Hobbs to botch the job. When Charlie figured out his plan, she did the surgery which ruined this person's plans so they fired her."

"Wait a second! You think Armisen is one trying to kill you?" Trevor frowned. "Sands, that's ridiculous! He's an agent."

"You can't say none of this fits."

"Except the reason Armisen would want to kill you in the first place, not to mention that he had cause for firing Charlie that doesn't include his want to kill you. Besides, if someone in the CIA wanted to kill you in Mexico, they were risking Charlie too."

"Exactly! Armisen fired her which just goes to show that he saw her as expendable in the first place."

"Not enough to have her killed! Sands, you're grasping at straws here and for your own sake, you better cut it out. Pointing fingers like this is going to get you in more danger than you could already be in."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Someone wants me dead and when that didn't happen; they killed the guy who could lead us to him. Who has that power? People in the CIA."

"If Hobbs' death isn't ruled a suicide. We won't know until the autopsy report comes back."

"Come on, why kill himself? Give up a name and he would have gotten a lighter jail sentence."

"Do you really think so?"

"You better have told him so!" Sands said. "Look, it doesn't matter anyway because I know who it is."

"Sands, Armisen is not trying to kill you."

"Prove it. Find out who is."

"I'm trying to."

"Well, while you're "trying", I'll be off on my own missions."

"What missions? You can't just do what you want anymore, Sands. You have your job back and it's a strict one."

"Got somewhere to send me?"

Trevor sighed. "No."

Sands got up and left the office. "See ya later, Trev." He smirked. "Gosh, it feels good to be able to say that again."

He left the office and left Trevor with a very bad feeling.

* * *

Charlie lay in her bed, trying to sleep. She should have been exhausted what with her new living life to the full philosophy even if that was getting boring now. She'd done the tanning, she'd done the shopping, she'd done everything she could do as someone with unlimited free time in sun, sea and sand and at night, she lay in bed, looking out her window with a perfect view of the beach and the waves and the moon and the stars.

It was times like this when her mind thought of nothing but her old life.

_I can't believe I miss him. How the hell could I miss him?_

Reliving her story to the therapist made all the feelings Charlie had for Sands float right back to the surface and she hated it. She hated missing him or missing her old life. She hated feeling sad when she was trying so hard not to be. Sure, she could act happy and carefree in front of Rachel or whoever and like nothing mattered but when she was alone, she couldn't hide her true feelings away.

_Sands, you're such an asshole for doing this to me._

_At least he never saw me._

_At least I won that from him. One thing he can't take away from me._

Charlie rubbed her eyes, frustrated.

_Stop thinking about him! He is gone from your life!_

_It's a little hard to stop thinking about someone when you've just had to relive the entire time you knew them. I wish I had never gone to that stupid therapist. She can't do anything for me. She doesn't me or Sands or what happened or what I went through._

_Only one person knows that._

_The person who went through it with me.  
_

* * *

_Stop being so normal!_

Sands huffed as he went through Armisen's file. He had snuck down to archives, deciding to do a little snooping of his own. He usually tried to find dirt on all of the bosses and succeeded. He had his affair with Waitrose to hold against her, Trevor's affair with practically every woman in a fifty mile radius to use against him with his wife and now that Armisen had gotten on his bad side, Sands was trying to find something against him. Only he couldn't. The guy seemed to be nothing out of the ordinary. Got married, had kids, got divorced, good agent, solved some important cases and got promoted and then promoted again and again and now he was the boss.

_There has to be something. Everyone's got a secret._

_The guy cannot be that much of a dick and not have any other flaws._

Sands reread the file but couldn't find a thing to use against him. He huffed and put it back where it belonged and closed the filing cabinet when something struck his attention.

_A-M_

That filing cabinet held all the files for people with the last names beginning with A to M.

_Macintosh._

_I can't. I have to just let it go._

_Her picture could be in there. If I'm never going to see her, I might just have to settle with the next best thing. Plus, I can find out more about her._

_No. What will you find out? She has a mother and a father, maybe a few brothers and sisters? What good would that do? It's not going to tell you where she went. It only details her past and she told you the second day she knew you most of that when you wouldn't shut up asking questions. Genius, graduated early, was with that jackass for ten years, was found by the CIA, comes from Malibu._

Sands froze at that last thought.

"_You know, Sands, if you really thought about it, you'd know."_

"_What?"_

"_Let's just say, I've already told you."_

_She's going to live in Malibu. She's going back to where she grew up._

Sands was very pleased with himself for figuring it out when he remembered he couldn't actually do anything with the information. What did he think he'd do? Go out there, look at her and come back here?

_It's tempting._

He huffed as he walked out of the archives. This was probably the longest he had gone without speaking to her since he met her and he had to admit, he wasn't enjoying it. It wasn't even just a case of missing the sex, which he did very much, but whenever he thought about something that would usually cause him to call her, he had to stop himself picking up the phone or going over to her old apartment. Sands had never missed anyone before and it had been quite an annoying thing to try and cope with. The thought that he now knew where she was and wanted to do something about it made that feeling even worse.

_Why can't I go see her? That's what I want._

_You've already made it completely obvious you're in love with her. I think stalking her all the way to Malibu would definitely ruin the lie._

_I can't help it. This missing and loving is a lot more infuriating than I thought it would be, not to mention still having not seen her._

_Exactly. How would you even find her in Malibu?_

Sands knew that really wasn't a problem. He could find her but what would happen if he did? When he had tried to find her a few weeks ago, he was convinced just seeing her would be enough. Now that he had known what it was like to not have her in his life in any capacity, that certainty was completely gone.

_If I go see her, I'll never be able to leave her. _

_So I can't go and see her._

_I can't._

* * *

"Sands, where are you?"

"Driving to Malibu."

"What?" Trevor asked angrily. "What the hell are you doing going to Malibu?"

"Just decided some sun and sea was in order."

Sands didn't know if Trevor knew that's where Charlie was so he wouldn't be the first to bring her up.

"Sands, don't do this to her."

So he did know.

"Trev, do you have any idea how annoying it is to have sex dreams about someone you've never even seen?"

"Sands!"

"That's not actually admitting anything, by the way. Face it, you fired her so she's a free agent now, so to speak. You can't decide what I do with her anymore and you can't fire me for pursuing someone who doesn't work for the CIA."

"Have you forgotten you're an agent for the CIA and you cannot just drive off to a different state whenever you want?" Trevor reminded. "Do you care about your job at all?"

"What can I say? I finally got my license back, I'm excited. Do you need me for a mission right now?"

"No, but…"

"Call me if you do."

Sands hung up the phone and kept looking out at the road ahead.

_She's going to kill me._

* * *

**Do you think Charlie will be happy to see him? **

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	30. Malibu

**To GigiMusic: Thank you!  
**

**Here's Chapter 30!**

"What about this one?"

"You got the invitation months ago." Rachel huffed. "Why did it take you till now to buy something?"

"I was busy." Charlie shrugged, looking in the mirror. "And I forgot."

"The girl with the eidetic memory forgot about a wedding."

"Or maybe didn't care enough to think about it." Charlie said. "I never talk to Sharon anyway."

"She's your cousin."

"So? I still never talk to her. I'm surprised she invited me at all."

"Please tell me you remembered to book a room. Two day wedding."

"I did it when I got the invitation, calm down."

"Did you at least call her and let her know you're no longer bringing a date?"

Charlie turned back to her sister with a cringe. "Oops."

"Forgot that too?"

"So I'll be sitting next to no one, I can handle that." Charlie said. "So, the dress?"

She was wearing a floor length silk green creation that Rachel tilted her head at. "It's fine."

"Fine? Just fine?"

"Buy the dress so we can get out of here. I have children."

"That's your excuse for everything."

"That's why I had them. Let's go."

* * *

Charlie frowned when there was a knock on her door. Rachel had left only a half an hour ago so it couldn't be her, who else here would want Charlie's attention? She grimaced when she answered the door.

"Mom."

"Oh, Charlotte, thank God you're home. I need to stay here for a few days."

Charlie frowned as her mother walked inside her home.

_More like invade._

"What? Why?"

"Ugh, Dick and I got into a huge fight and I left. I really think this is it for us. I cannot stand that man anymore."

Charlie rolled her eyes. It was always the same old song and dance with her mother. Get married too quickly and then divorce a few months later. As long as the men never tried to get involved in Charlie's life, like some did, she was past caring. She couldn't. Her mother would never change and she was a little too old to put up with the 'call me dad!' stepfather routine that some of these men tried. She just made it clear that stepfather wasn't a role in his life and left her mother to it. But Dick had never tried that. She liked that he had never even bothered with her. Why did she have to divorce him?

"So you want to stay with me?"

"It's just really so handy that you're living back here." Her mother nodded. "Would you get my things from the car? I am exhausted."

"Why can't you stay with Rachel?" Charlie wasn't being mean, her mother and Rachel had a better relationship since Rachel could handle her much better than Charlie ever could. Charlie didn't have Rachel's patience, she got angry too quickly, it would be horrible for all involved.

"Rachel has children, Charlotte. I can't just stay there with that full house."

Charlie nodded. At least there was some compassion involved.

"They'd drive me insane."

Okay, maybe not.

_But you'll drive me insane._

"Fine." Charlie huffed. "We're going to the wedding anyway so…"

_We'll be in separate hotel rooms._

"Oh, I'm not going to that wedding."

"Why not?"

"I have better things to do with my time than sit around and watch people be happy when I'm not happy. You and your sister go, I'll just stay here."

"You'll stay here? In my house? Without me?"

"Do you think I am going to rob you?"

"No, but…"

"Charlotte, really, stop being so difficult. It does nothing for you."

Charlie was going to explode.

"Well, I was just packing for tomorrow morning so I'm going to go get back to that." Charlie walked back to her bedroom and continued to pack but it wasn't long before she was joined by her mother again.

"We should go out to dinner tonight. Just you and me."

Charlie turned to her, trying to be nice. "We can do that."

She turned back to her packing as her mother sat on the bed. "Is that the dress you're wearing to the wedding?" She asked, pointing to the dress hanging up, waiting to be packed.

"That's the one."

She saw her mother's face contort but tried to ignore it. "Are you sure about that dress?"

"Pretty sure."

"I just don't know if the shape would…" Charlie sighed and her mother caught it. "Oh, don't get me wrong, it's up to you but I'm just thinking of you. I wouldn't want people saying 'Oh, look at her' in a bad way."

"Okay, mom." Charlie said. She was done now.

"So, when is Barry getting here?"

This was the part Charlie had been dreading, where her mother picked apart every bit of her life. "I'm not actually with Barry anymore."

"You're not? Why? Barry was so nice. I mean, he looked at you when no one else would."

"Yes, thank you, mom but I just felt things with Barry were at their end. I broke up with him a while back."

"You did? But I was talking to him recently and he didn't say anything."

"He's not taking it well. And why are you talking to him?"

"Because you never have time for me. I have to find out how you're doing from someone."

"If you call me, I will answer."

"And all you say is 'I'm fine, very busy'. In my opinion, quitting that job of yours was the smartest thing you ever did. I mean, look at your sister. A fashion designer. That is a job a woman can be proud to have. It's all about making beautiful clothes for beautiful people. Medicine is really a man's game. What do you do all day but get blood and gunk all over you?"

Charlie was speaking through gritted teeth. "I like my job, I help people. You seem to like my job too when you want me to get you free pills and write prescriptions."

"But it's not like you ever do it."

"You get enough from your plastic surgeon."

"Charlotte, don't take that tone with me. And your brother working in that restaurant. Sweaty business."

"He's a head chef! That is a job to be proud of."

"Oh, well that probably doesn't bring in a lot of money."

"He seems to be doing okay. He's very happy with Molly and the kids."

"Oh, that Molly is such a plain girl."

"Molly is lovely, mom. Chris and the kids adore her. You know, because she's their wife and mother."

"It wouldn't kill her to go on a diet."

"She's had three kids."

"So have I."

"She doesn't want plastic surgery."

"Speaking of, what diet are you on?"

Charlie sighed. "I'm not on a diet, mom."

"That's what I thought. I could give you the number of a very good dietician and trainer. He'd put you in shape."

"No thanks mom, if I felt I needed to lose weight, I would do it myself."

"Plastic surgeon? He's very good, very discreet."

"No, mom."

_Kill me. Just kill me._

Her mother stopped lazing on the bed and walked over to Charlie's vanity, picking up the jewellery box and poking through it, placing different pieces up against the dress. "Where is that little bracelet your father gave you? It'd go well with a dress as simple as this."

Charlie could feel herself getting a headache. "Little bracelet? It was a diamond tennis bracelet and that dress cost…"

"Alright, whatever. Just, where is it?"

Charlie looked back down at her clothes. "I was mugged and he took it."

"Oh, that's awful. That's what you get for wearing it everywhere though."

"Yeah, thanks for the sympathy."

"Fine. I'll buy you a new bracelet, one with diamonds worth mentioning. Big ones."

"I liked that bracelet. It was simple."

"Just like your father."

"It was the last thing he gave me."

"Stop talking about your father like he's dead, Charlotte. You can see him whenever you want."

"I don't want to."

"Then stop complaining."

"I'm going to go for a shower." Charlie said, going into the bathroom and locking the door. It was the only place she'd get away from her.

_Times like this, I really, really, really miss Virginia._

* * *

_Alright Malibu, what you got for me?_

Sands had driven straight for nearly three days, only stopping occasionally and he was finally here. Looking around, the place seemed the opposite of Charlie. How could she even afford to live here? The houses were huge.

_Well, she's got to be here somewhere._

Sands did the first obvious thing. He went into an internet café and logged onto the Information website. Calling 411 might not get him an address but the website would.

_Charlie Macintosh. Malibu, CA._

He didn't know if he'd get a hit so soon after she moved but sure enough, there it was.

_Well, that was easy._

Sands smirked as he got up and returned to his car, driving to the address.

_Holy shit, this place is huge!_

_How the hell did Charlie afford this place?_

Sands stepped out of his car to see the beach house properly, walking around the back onto the beach. There was stairs that led from the sand to the deck, two floors, a big balcony, a deck that was nearly the size of her old apartment, probably an indoor pool because there was an outdoor one. Sands had to walk back around to the front before he convinced himself Charlie didn't live here. This was a place fit for celebrities. How could she afford this and yet be living in a two bedroom apartment in Virginia where the living room and kitchen were in the same space?

_Huh, I could have been surrounded by designer furniture and shit and never knew it._

He walked up to the front door but froze.

_I'm going to see her. I'm finally going to see her._

_I want to run._

But instead he knocked on the door. And was met with a very surprising sight.

Sands was a little gobsmacked. This woman was at least sixty, even if she tried to hide it with plastic surgery. "Charlie?"

"Her name is Charlotte and she isn't home." Her mother replied.

Sands felt the relief wash over him. "This is Charlotte Macintosh's house, isn't it? The doctor?"

"Yes, it is but she is still not home."

"When will she be back?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm a…friend. From Virginia. I came to visit."

Now this was an opportunity. It was no secret that Charlie's entire life was a secret and if this man knew something, well it would be wrong for a mother not to try and find out about her daughter. "She'll be back soon. Would you like to come in and wait?"

Sands wasn't sure who this woman was but if she was answering Charlie's door when Charlie wasn't home then she was her mother or an aunt or a house sitter or someone Charlie trusted. Although if the size of the drink in her hand and the way she was swaying back and forth was anything to go by, maybe that was an error in judgement on Charlie's part. But still, this person was drunk and close enough to Charlie to tell him everything about what she had been getting up to down here and if those activities included other men.

"I'd love to."

Sands walked inside and the inside was definitely a compliment to the outside. "Wow, this place is something else."

"Yes, Charlotte's grandfather left it to her in his will along with a bunch of money. She was always his favourite. The old coot didn't leave me a dime." She muttered. "When she moved, I thought she'd sell it or pass the deeds onto someone else but she never did, something about being close to her grandfather or something."

"And you're her mother, I'm assuming?"

"Gwendolyn Walsh, yes I'm her mother."

"Trevor Hartford." Sands smiled back.

"Well, Mister Hartford, I don't think Charlotte's ever mentioned you."

"We knew each other from work and since she doesn't work there anymore…"

"Yes, that was a shock to all of us but Charlotte won't tell anyone why she quit."

"Quit?" Sands smirked. "I wasn't sure of the details. I thought she was fired."

"Who would fire a genius?"

"I couldn't possibly answer. So, Walsh? You and her father…?"

"Divorced before Charlotte was born. Would you like a drink?"

"I'm good." Sands said, following her into the kitchen. "Oh, really? Charlie never really speaks about her father. I assumed he wasn't around anymore."

"Oh, he's not but not because he's dead. Charlotte just doesn't speak to her father anymore."

Sands knew this but now he'd know why. "Really?"

"Yes, they had some sort of falling out when she was sixteen or seventeen and she hasn't been in contact with him since. He tries every so often with her but that girl is stubborn. Especially when she was kidnapped recently, he's been desperate to get in touch with her ever since but she simply won't have it."

"Do you know what happened?"

"Neither has ever told me." She shrugged.

"Caring." Sands mumbled.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing."

Sands was actually a little thrown off that her family would have been contacted when she disappeared. She actually did have people that needed to be told these things. Sands always assumed she was alone. Probably because judging by her refusal to talk to her father and having this train wreck of a woman as a mother, Charlie was most likely alone. She was nothing like the woman sitting in front of him.

"So Charlie…"

"Charlotte."

"Charlotte," Sands said, feeling weird. "Just doesn't speak to him? Flat out? Just stopped one day?"

"She was staying with him one summer. He was clean by then."

"Clean?"

"He was a big cocaine addict but he's past that now."

More and more shocks just kept coming Sands' way today.

"Anyway," Gwen continued. "He was out of rehab and doing well so I thought there'd be no harm. Charlotte wanted to go. Well, everything was fine for a while until right after Steven's birthday. The day after she came home and would barely come out of her room for the rest of summer vacation. I mean, she stayed in her room a lot anyway but she wouldn't eat, she didn't look like she was sleeping. I tried talking to her but she wouldn't tell me anything. So I called Steven but I got the same response. He tried calling her but she never took the calls and she hasn't since. My thought was that she caught him snorting cocaine again but both say it's not true. But why else would she be so adamant not to talk to him anymore? She didn't even tell him when she was moving to Virginia for work. She didn't want any money or anything, just left and rented this tiny hovel of an apartment. I tried to help her but she didn't want my help or anyone else's. She hasn't touched one penny of her grandfather's money either. Then we stopped hearing from her at all. She stopped visiting, we got a phone call on birthdays and holidays and that was it. Oh, she did send nice presents, I suppose. Especially to the kids."

"Kids?"

"My other daughter's and son's children."

_Charlie is an aunt?_

"Oh. Do they speak to their father?"

"Well, they're only half siblings. Rachel is my eldest with my first husband, Chris is from my third marriage and Charlotte is from my fourth."

_Oh God, I hope she doesn't propose to me._

"That's why they didn't get any of her grandfather's money like she did. She was his only grandchild. Her father didn't see a dime and neither did I, the woman who raised her but that old bastard never liked me. I think Steven didn't get any money because of whatever happened between him and Charlotte. According to her grandfather, Charlotte was the only one in this entire family who could really go places; he's the one who paid for her medical school fees, not Steven. He believed she'd be the only one to make a good name for herself despite the fact that Steven Macintosh is a name everyone knows but Reg Macintosh was not proud of his son's activities so he cut him off and everything went to her in the will. Steven had his own money and business at that point so it wasn't any big loss but still, he never got over his father doing that." Gwen looked at the quite handsome stranger in her drunken state. "But enough about Charlotte. Tell me about yourself, Trevor."

Sands frowned before he caught on, thanks to her hand running along his. "Uh, when did you say Charlie would be back?"

"Charlotte."

"Right, when?"

"Tomorrow."

Sands stood up. "Tomorrow?"

"She's gone to her cousin's wedding, staying overnight at the hotel which means we have a night together waiting before she gets back. Any suggestions?"

"Yes, you tell me where the hotel is and I never mention this to Charlie."

"Charlotte."

"Whatever!"

* * *

"Oh my God, I thought those speeches would never end."

Charlie watched as Rachel, a bridesmaid, sat down in the vacant seat next to her sister at the table.

"I liked your one."

"It wasn't mine. I googled for a speech and filled in the blanks."

"Nice."

"You gotta do what you gotta do."

Charlie watched at the couples dancing on the floor.

Rachel saw her look. "Missing Barry?"

Charlie's expression still stayed the same. "No."

_Not Barry._

"Charlie, are you alright?" Rachel asked. "You seem so…I don't know. You seem like something's missing. You're not yourself."

Charlie looked back at her sister. "I'm fine. Honestly."

"Excuse me," A groomsman came up to Rachel. "Where's Charlie Macintosh?"

Charlie frowned. "I'm Charlie."

"A Trevor Hartford is outside in the garden, asking to see you."

Charlie was surprised to say the least. "Trevor?"

"That's what he said."

"Who's Trevor?" Rachel asked.

"My old boss."

"Do you think he came to ask you to take your job back?"

"I doubt it." Charlie said, standing up and outside into the night air. Had something happened Sands?

When Charlie walked out the double doors in the reception hall and got out onto the balcony above the garden, she realised nothing had happened Sands. He was standing right there. His back was to her, looking out at the gardens but it was definitely him.

Sands had heard her heels and was really considering running away.

"Sands?"

_Too late._

_Oh Jesus…_

Sands didn't turn around. "Hey sugar."

"Wha…What are you doing here?" Charlie asked, a little frozen herself.

"I came to see you. Literally, this time."

Charlie's eyes widened. "What? No. No, you can't do that."

"Why not?" Sands frowned.

"Because…Because if you see me, it'll just make everything more complicated. The one consolation I had was that at least you didn't know what I look like."

"I'm turning around."

"No, don't."

"I'm doing it."

Charlie sighed and waited. She had to admit, she wasn't looking bad tonight so she was lucky in that sense but still, she'd prefer this wasn't happening.

Sands turned and found himself looking at the floor.

_Stop being chicken shit and just look at her._

Sands looked up and finally saw the woman his life had been about for the last few months. He finally saw the dirty blonde hair, the curls tied back to cascade down behind her with two headbands in her hair in some sort of Grecian style. He finally saw the dark shade of green her eyes were that made him feel like she was seeing right into him. They matched the emerald creation she was wearing. He finally saw the fullness of her lips, the lips he loved kissing more than most things he could do in the world, now covered in a dark red colour. Then there was her body, what he should have known like the back of his hand by now but was still astounded to see because he never thought he would. Her skin had tanned from her time here and that dress really accentuated the right parts. He finally saw everything he had felt and tried to imagine all there in front of him.

_Wow._

"Sands?" Charlie asked. "Say something."

"I…" What was there to say? His mind was completely blank. He was too busy just looking at her.

"I knew it." She said, looking at the floor before looking up at him. "Everything's changed now, hasn't it?"

"I have to go." Sands said quickly, rushing down the stone steps and trying to make his way out of the gardens.

Charlie was shocked as he just ran away from her. She always knew this would be hard but she didn't expect him to do something like that. To say that it completely shattered her confidence was an understatement. He couldn't get enough of her when he was blind and now that he'd seen her, he couldn't get away fast enough. Was she really that bad?

Charlie walked back into the reception and found her sister.

"Hey sweetie, I'm just going to go to bed. I'm not feeling very well." She made up quickly. Well, she didn't really have to make it up. She didn't feel well, she felt her heart shattering.

"Charlie?" Rachel frowned. "Are you okay? You look like you're about to cry."

"No, really, I'm fine. I just…I'm going to go." She needed to leave quickly. She could feel herself getting more upset now that it was pointed out to her. Why did she care? He had nothing to do with her life anymore. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Do you want me to go up with you? Make sure you're alright?"

"No, I'm just…I want to be alone. Enjoy the rest of the wedding."

She hurried off quickly and got to an elevator. Once the doors closed and she was alone, she let herself go and she burst into tears.

* * *

She was wrong. So very wrong.

Nothing had changed.

He was still in love with her and now he'd never get her out of his head. He would never stop imagining her now that he knew what to imagine.

_And boy, is it something._

_She's…She's…_

_Your opinion is just biased because you're making it be. Objectively…_

_Objectively, she's gorgeous._

_Not the best looking woman in the world. She's no...She's not as good as..._

_I can't even think of another woman! She's after fucking me up that badly._

_She's not that great.  
_

_No, she is. She really is. The best I've seen._

_Because you're in love with her._

_I don't care!_

Sands stopped walking. "What am I doing?"

He hurried back to where he had left but found it empty. He walked into the reception hall and up to anyone. "I'm looking for Charlie Macintosh."

"She just left."

"Left?"

"Well, went to her room. She wasn't feeling well."

"What room is she in?"

"No idea."

Rachel overheard the conversation and came over. "Excuse me? Can I help you?"

"I'm looking for Charlie Macintosh." Sands said quickly.

"Trevor Hartford?"

Sands frowned before remembering. "Yes, it's very important that I speak to her."

Rachel wasn't an idiot. Charlie spent a few minutes outside with this man and she came back close to tears. "I'm her sister. I can give her a message but she's not coming back down tonight."

"It's private. What room is she in?"

"I'm sorry, Mister Hartford but my sister isn't going to see you tonight."

"Look, this is official…"

"I don't care if it's official anything, medical, police, FBI, you're not seeing her."

"What about CIA?"

"Goodnight, Mister Hartford. If you don't leave, I'm sure hotel security will be more than happy to see you out."

Sands huffed and left the reception hall but just doubled back around to enter the front of the hotel and up to the reception desk. "I'm looking for Charlie Macintosh. What room is she in?"

"I'm sorry, sir but it's hotel policy not to disclose the room numbers of our guests. If you want, I could call Miss Macintosh and…"

"Look, I'm with the CIA." Sands said, pulling out his badge. "This is a top secret operation. I can't divulge too much information but I need that room number." It was obvious Sands had the young man hooked at the mention of CIA and a flash of his badge. It always excited people to think they were in the middle of a top secret operation.

"215."

Sands put on his most authoritative. voice. "You've been very helpful in co-operating with the CIA. Your country thanks you."

Sands smirked and went to the elevator. He got to her room and knocked.

The door opened and Charlie saw him before shutting it again.

"Charlie? Let me in."

"Fuck off, Sands."

"Okay, please let me in?"

"I don't ever want to see you again."

"Well, I want to see you a lot more."

Charlie frowned from the other side of the door. "What?"

"Look, I've spent enough fucking time talking to you without looking at you, would you please just open the door?"

Charlie sighed and opened the door.

Sands wasn't sure if his face looked nervous but his voice definitely conveyed it, no matter how he tried to hide it. He couldn't help it. It was a jolt to look at her. "Hey gorgeous."

Charlie wasn't amused. She grabbed her bag and left the room, walking down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" Sands asked, walking after her.

"Making sure you get in your car and go back to Virginia."

"Any chance you're getting in it to come back too?"

Charlie turned back to him. "What the hell is wrong with you? You fucked me over after Mexico and now you're trying to fuck me over here?"

"How? How am I trying to do that?

"By being here at all! I didn't want you to see me, Sands! I wanted things to be finished because I can't handle it anymore and you are too fucking selfish to care!"

She began walked again and Sands followed her until they were in the gardens. Luckily, they were far away enough from the open doors to the wedding so no one would notice.

"Where's your car?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. You're going home."

Sands shook his head. "I'm not ready to leave."

"That's not your decision. I don't want you here." Charlie said. "Please just go."

"You know I'm not going to." Sands shrugged.

"You were quick to run away a while ago." She pointed out.

"I was in shock. I wasn't as prepared to see you as I thought I was."

"Well, you don't have to do it anymore. You're not wanted here."

"Charlie…"

"I am not doing this anymore. I have a new life. And you're not involved in it."

"But…"

"No!" Charlie shouted. "I wouldn't need a new life if it weren't for you. I moved out here for a reason and I didn't tell you I was here for a reason. I don't know how you found me but please just leave and don't abuse the information again."

"You know I'm not going to leave."

Charlie sighed, rubbing her forehead. "You really drive me crazy, you know that?"

"Isn't that why you love me?"

It was risky but he had to try it.

Charlie shook her head. "Find your car, get in it and leave."

"Come with me and I will."

Charlie couldn't believe this. "Are you like two different people? Is that what this is?"

"I'm just not ready to leave yet. I just saw you."

"Oh, so your decisions have changed now, have they? Leave, Sands."

Instead of doing so, Sands got closer to her, finally being able to put his hands on her waist again. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Just go!" She said, pushing him away. "Please! I can't do this anymore! I cannot be messed around anymore! Please, Sands! Please just go now because I can't…"

Charlie was cut off when Sands grabbed her and kissed her.

"You have to stop doing that." Charlie said when they parted because every time he kissed her, she would respond and that wasn't working when she was trying to be angry. "Just grabbing me and kissing me. It's not fair."

"If I didn't grab you before I kissed you, you'd run away."

"That should give you a hint. You shouldn't do it."

"Nope." Sands said, kissing her again.

Charlie wrapped her arms around his neck at first, really missing the feeling of him being close to her and his lips on hers but she eventually gathered the strength to pull back. "Sands, no."

Sands looked down at her and even Charlie had to admit, it was a shock. When they had been this close before, he was either wearing sunglasses so people wouldn't know he was blind or his eyes were never focused on her. Now they were looking at her intently.

"You have freckles." He smiled slightly, running his finger along her cheekbone and over her nose to her other cheekbone. He could only see them because of how close he was to her. "Just along there. They're very light but they're there."

Charlie nodded, not knowing what to say. "They're from the sun. I usually try to cover them with make-up or…"

"I like them. I just got another nickname for you, Freckles."

Charlie smiled before shaking her head. "No, you have to leave."

"No, I have to kiss you again."

Sands pressed his lips against hers again but Charlie pulled away. "No, I can't."

"Well, I need to and I need you to say it."

"Say what?"

"That you love me."

If she said it first, it might give Sands the courage to say it back. And that was only a maybe.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you're doing this to me." Charlie said helplessly.

"Just say it."

"What makes you think I do? I told you I don't."

"You have to."

"No. I don't."

Sands took her by the waist again and rested his forehead against hers. "Just say it, please."

"Please don't do this to me."

"Charlie…"

"Is everything okay here?"

Sands couldn't believe they were getting interrupted but sure enough, when he turned around there was a security guard standing behind him.

"Everything's fine. Go away."

The security guard wasn't that easily swayed seeing Charlie obviously upset. "Sir, if you're not a guest at this hotel, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

Sands ignored him and turned back to Charlie. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Sands…"

"Sir, I'm going to have…"

Sands jerked his arm away from where the security guard tried to take it. "Don't put your hands on me."

Charlie could see where this is going. "Sands, don't."

"I am not leaving you again and no fuckmook with a uniform and a flashlight is going to make me."

"Alright, that's enough." The guard said, grabbing Sands' arm.

Looking back, that was probably a huge mistake.

* * *

"What the hell were you doing around a man like that?"

"Things just got out of control." Charlie sighed as she and Rachel sat in her room later on. "Emotions were high."

"He hit a security guard! He got taken away by police!"

"Emotions were very high."

"Sharon is furious with you."

"Sharon can go to hell. She never talks to me anyway."

"Charlie!"

Charlie lay down on her pillow but didn't reply.

"It's him, isn't it?" Rachel asked. "Why you left Virginia?"

"There are a lot of reasons I left Virginia."

"But he's the main one, isn't he? Charlie, talk to me!"

"What do you want me to say? He and I had something and it obviously didn't end well. What else is there to discuss?"

"How things ended. What happened? Because obviously, whatever you two had is still a huge thing."

"Nothing happened. He told me he didn't want me anymore."

"Well, he was obviously lying if he came all the way from Virginia and tracked you down here to find you."

"I don't know what he was doing. He likes control and I left with it. He came to get it back. He was never staying."

"Wait, so he just popped by to mentally torture you a little and then he was going back home?"

"If you knew him, it wouldn't seem that surprising."

Charlie was completely furious at Sands. In the gardens, everything had seemed so…well, not romantic but she thought there might be something there. What if he had come because he wanted to be with her and actually wanted her to say she loved him because he felt the same way? Then she remembered his past behaviour.

_No, he wanted to stay around you so he could have sex with you one more time only this time when he could see. He wanted you to say you loved him because it gave him back control of the situation that you took when you left him behind you. He was just messing with you again, like he always does. He did it in Mexico and he's doing it here. Only he's more confident now because he can actually see. He doesn't need me like he did in Mexico to help him survive. Sands is a psychopath. He wants you to be under his thumb and you nearly fell for it. _

_He was just playing with you again like he always does._

Charlie felt the tears coming to her eyes but really didn't want Rachel to see. "Can you please just leave me alone? I just want to go to sleep."

"Charlie…"

"Please."

Rachel sighed and returned to her own room with her husband and children and left Charlie on her own. When she was alone, she pulled from her bag what had dropped on the ground a while when things went chaotic. Sands' CIA I.D. badge.

_Damnit, Sands._

_I hate him so much for doing this to me._

_I hate him._

* * *

**It only took thirty chapters for Sands to see his love interest! I sure do like to take my time, don't I? =P**

**I'm going to be changing my username so if anyone searches this story by my name, I just want to warn you that it won't work in the future. :)**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	31. Meddling

**To peaches: I know. Aren't I a barrel of laughs? =P Thank you!**

**To GigiMusic: He certainly does! Thanks!**

**Here's Chapter 31!**_  
_

_So this is what I've become._

_Sitting in a jail cell with a bunch of drug addicts because I punched a security guard while trying to force an 'I love you' from a woman who fled the state to get away from me._

_Could be worse._

_No it couldn't._

_I could still be blind._

_At least I didn't know what she looked like when I was blind. The second I saw her, I started acting insane. And I haven't been able to get her out of my mind since._

_The lips, the eyes, the hair, the body…_

_That drug dealer is looking at me funny. And I don't even have my gun._

_It was so handy when I had muscle to just do crap for me. Like Cucuy. He got the job done. Until he died. Well, at least…I think he died. I never really tried to find that out…_

"Your bail's been posted."

Sands frowned at the police officer, coming out of his thought process. "By who?"

"Get off your ass and come out and see."

Sands walked out from the cells into the station and was surprised when he saw Charlie standing there, now out of her dress and in a cream sweater and black pants with her hair down. It was a jolt to see her once again. She looked more relaxed but still beautiful all over again.

"Come on, you moron."

He walked over to her and they were about to leave when a cop stopped them. "Not so fast you two. This isn't over. You," He indicated to Sands. "Will have to be present for your court hearing which means you're not to leave the country."

Charlie frowned. "What about the state?"

"No." The cop said as if it were obvious. "We will call you with your court date and until then, you stay in California."

"But he doesn't live in this state." She argued, wondering why Sands seemed to take this in stride. "Can't he go to court in Virginia?"

"If he was arrested in Virginia. As things went, he was arrested here so he's staying here."

"Could you give us a minute?" She said, pulling Sands away. "Tell them you're with the CIA."

Sands shrugged. "I tried. They didn't believe me. I lost my badge"

Charlie took out his badge and shoved it into his hand. "There. Now tell them."

"You found it? I knew I stayed around you for a reason, Freckles."

"Yeah, great. Tell them."

Sands walked over to the cop and spoke to him and Charlie sighed, thankful that her life would be getting back to normal.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need your phone number."

Charlie frowned over at Sands and the cop. "Why?"

"Hey Mac," Sands said. "They're going to have to contact me somehow. I gave your address but I don't know your new number."

"But…No. They contact you at your place, not me at mine. They'll call you in Virginia."

"Ma'am, for the last time, he has to stay in California."

Charlie looked at Sands. "But you told them, right? You told them? You showed them the…"

"She thinks my job might hold some sway." Sands said as if he found her cluelessness adorable. "I keep telling her I'm just not that important but she won't hear it."

"No!" Charlie cut in. "No, he works for the CIA. Show them your badge."

"What badge?" Sands frowned.

"The one I just gave you!"

"Mac, have you been drinking?"

"You're not staying with me!"

"Ma'am," The cop sighed. "It was your decision to bail him out, he's your responsibility. You were the one who insisted he wouldn't be a problem."

"I take it back! He's obviously a problem. Put him back in jail!"

"It doesn't work that way."

Charlie looked at Sands who was smirking at her before turning back to the cop. "Can I get a restraining order?"

Sands looked at her tiredly.

* * *

"For the record…

"Don't talk to me!"

Sands stopped talking, choosing to just look at her instead. She was driving back to the hotel to pick up her things and leave early because there was no way she could be there in the morning if Sands was with her. She had really thought that he would use his position in the CIA to get out of things, not use it as an opportunity to live with her!

"What the hell were you thinking?" She asked angrily.

"I came all this way to see you. I'm not turning around and just walking away."

"Really? Because you turned around and ran away a while ago! I mean, what the fuck was that?"

"A mistake. It was a huge fucking mistake. The minute I saw you, I should have raced you to your bedroom because that's what I wanted to do."

"It's not happening. I am done ruining myself for a good time with you."

"How does it ruin you if it's good?"

"Because it never lasts! You have sex with me and you turn right back into being an asshole!"

"You always knew what I was like. Always. I never hid that from you. I never pretended to be someone else and then trap you into a relationship for ten years before you realised that I'm an asshole. I've been straight with you from day one. You've always known who I am and that's who you fell in love with. So, just admit it."

Charlie frowned. "Why, Sands? Why should I love you? What in the world makes you think I would?"

"Because you said it."

"No, I said I thought I did. In Mexico, with all the adrenaline and life or death situations and you…You acting like we could have a life together. But when you ruined everything, I came to my senses."

"So you just decided you weren't?"

"No, Sands. You decided it for me. Why would I love you? Because you've been so good to me? Because you've always made me feel so special?"

"Hey, you fell in love with the last guy who treated you like shit."

"And I've learned from my mistakes."

"I'm not another one of your mistakes."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes! I have done everything I did for a reason. They may not be ideal but you know what, if you thought about it for five seconds, you might have figured out why I did what I did."

"I get it, Sands. I really do. You don't have to explain why you do what you do because I know."

Sands was surprised but relieved. He really wanted her to know that he wanted to be with her but was trying to protect her. He wanted her to know that. He hadn't ever told her because he knew a few words of reassurance from her would break him and he'd risk it just to be with her but he couldn't do that. But if she knew why he was doing what he was doing and she understood, it was really the best he could hope for. "You do?"

Charlie stopped the car, now at the hotel. "Yeah, I do. You don't want to be with me but I'm just the easiest lay around. I get it. You made it clear in the Border Patrol station."

So she didn't understand a thing. She had just been fucked over by men too many times to not feel like she was being used. "What I said in the station…"

"Oh, there were so many things. You were a liar, you didn't care about me, I was a disappointment in the sack…"

"Stop." Sands said, not wanting to hear anymore. He was really angry at himself for the last one. Why the fuck did he have to tell her that when it obviously wasn't true?

"What?" Charlie asked. "These are all your words, not mine."

"Why didn't you ever think I was lying then?" Sands asked. "All the things I've said to you, why are those words the ones you believe without a problem?"

Charlie shook her head. "Because they're the most typical."

"What if they were the lies?"

Charlie was silent for a few seconds before getting out of the car and left him on his own.

_Oh sure. Leave when I'm trying to tell you the truth and not act like an asshole._

_She's not listening to you because she doesn't trust you. You've done all this caring routine before and she believed it and you screwed her over. She's not falling for it this time._

_Falling for what? The truth?_

_How does she know you're really telling the truth and not just trying to get the better of her again? It's your own fault that she isn't willing to tolerate anything you have to say anymore._

Sands got out of the car and was about to follow her but realised it wouldn't accomplish anything. They'd just start fighting again and he probably wasn't even allowed in the hotel anymore. Going back to jail didn't sound like a good time. So instead he just went and found his own car.

When Charlie got back to her car, she frowned seeing it empty. She looked around. "Sands?" She searched around for him but couldn't find him anywhere. "Alright, you know what, if this is some joke of yours, like jumping out of the bushes and grabbing me, I'm not falling for it." She waited for him to appear. "Sands?"

_Where could he have…?_

_His car was here, genius._

Charlie huffed. He couldn't have waited and told her? He just drove off? Nice. Maybe he'd drive off to Virginia and leave her alone. She got back into her car and drove home. Her hoping that he might have left the state faded when she saw his car parked outside her house.

_Great._

She parked and got out but he wasn't in his car, she had her keys so he didn't steal them and none of windows or door was broken. She walked around the back of the house and found him lazing on one of the deck chairs, looking out at the ocean.

"You got quite a view here, Mac."

Charlie walked over and collapsed on the deck chair next to his. She couldn't fight anymore. She was just too exhausted. "Yeah, it's something."

Sands frowned at her. "You're not going to shout at me for leaving you there?"

"I don't want to shout anymore. Although I don't understand why you couldn't tell me."

"I figured we could use a break between rounds. A fight with you is worse than any boxing match, sugar."

"Well don't worry, I'm done. No more fighting from me."

"Really?"

Charlie nodded. "I'm too tired."

"Want to go to bed?"

"For God's sake, Sands…"

"On your own! I meant to sleep."

"Oh." Charlie said. "Sorry. You've just never said anything like that and not had it be a sexual thing."

"Well usually I would but I've just gotten you calmed down enough to not smack me so I'm trying not to push my luck."

"And you're going to be around me for a few days so you have plenty of time to do it then."

Sands smirked. "Caught me."

Charlie shook her head and got up to go inside but Sands saw her grimace.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Charlie replied. "My back is just a little knotted. From stress."

"I would have thought your swanky new life would have included massages and day trips to the spa."

"Really?" Charlie looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It's like three in the morning and you want to try and start another fight with me?"

"I'm not trying to start another fight."

"Then don't presume."

"Alright, I'm sorry but look, come here." Sands said, taking her hand and pulling her towards him so she could sit on the deck chair he was occupying with him. He made her sit in front of him and she felt his hands on her back.

"You're giving me a massage?"

"You said it's from stress. I cause you stress. I'll get rid of it."

_And I really want to be able to touch you again._

"I don't think this is a good idea." Charlie said hesitantly although his hands felt amazing.

"Charlie, I just told you I'm not trying to get you into bed. Besides, I've been driving non-stop for three days and I've been manhandled by police. My back is fucked so I'm expecting you to return the favour."

Charlie smiled. "So you're only doing it to get something in return?"

"Does that surprise you?"

"No." Charlie answered before they fell into silence though Sands kept up his work on her back. Charlie found herself closing her eyes at the feeling, he was very good with his hands but then again, she already knew that. She tensed right back up when she realised she was letting out little sighs of approval. She looked behind her to see Sands' dark brown eyes looking intensely into her green ones.

"If I kiss you, are you going to freak out again?"

Charlie knew she should have said yes or stopped everything then and there but the fact that he was actually looking at her, he was actually seeing her. It wasn't just a jolt for him. "No."

Sands kissed her passionately and his hands wrapped around her waist, pulling her so her body was right up against his. Charlie couldn't help but smile a little when they parted.

"Huh."

"What?" Charlie asked.

"Well, for most of the time I've been seeing you, you've been looking angry. I'm just enjoying seeing you smile finally."

Charlie didn't know how to reply to that but she didn't have to because Sands kissed her again. But when she felt his hand slip under her sweater, Charlie pulled away quickly.

"No, I can't. I can't do this again." She said. She tried to get up but Sands stopped her.

"Alright, I went too far. Don't leave."

"Sands, I won't sleep with you."

"You've said that before."

"And look at how things turned out when I changed my mind."

"What? We're both here, we're still kissing…"

"Most of my thoughts of you are negative."

"I get it. Look, no sex. We'll just stay here and look at the ocean. It's relaxing."

"Sands…"

"Don't disturb me. I'm looking at the ocean."

Charlie sighed but stayed in his arms, looking out at the ocean and the night sky too.

"I'm from Tennessee."

Charlie frowned when Sands spoke up. "What?"

"When you asked, back in Mexico, where I was from and I wouldn't tell you. I'm from Tennessee."

Charlie didn't know why he was telling her now but she smiled. "I knew you were from the South."

"Born and bred Southerner, ma'am."

"Did you get rid of your accent so no one would know?"

"Yup. It's hard to be mysterious when people can tell so much about you when you speak."

"Did you ever guess I was some Malibu Barbie?"

"No. Mainly because you're not. I could see that when I was blind."

Charlie didn't reply and she didn't look back at him because she knew if she did either, this night was going to go somewhere she wasn't willing to let herself go to. Not again. So she stayed silent and just watched the tide until she fell asleep. Sands watched her for a while before falling asleep himself.

They were awoken not too pleasantly in the morning when Charlie's mother came out onto the decking.

"Well, well, well, isn't this interesting?"

* * *

_How the hell did I forget about her?_

_Because it's preferable not to focus on how she invaded my home?_

_But now, her and Sands. Together…_

Doctor Corrigan's office, how may I help you?"

"Oh yes, hello." Charlie pulled herself out of her dread when the person on the other line picked up. "This is Charlie Macintosh here; I have an appointment today which I'm going to have to cancel."

_How am I going to explain this to the therapist?_

_Oh God, do I have to tell her? Can't I just pretend everything is still fine?_

_If everything was fine in the first place, I wouldn't need therapy._

_Do I still need therapy? I mean, what good is it going to do? Really?_

"Would you like to make another appointment?"

Charlie didn't know. "Oh, uh…Can I get back to you?"

"Of course, Miss Macintosh."

_Doctor. Doctor Macintosh._

_Used to be, anyway._

Charlie hung up her phone and looked at her bedroom door, where outside she didn't know what was happening, her two worlds had collided together and that was not good. She had always tried to keep those two worlds separate for a reason. Now she was too scared to go check on her two worlds meshing into one.

"You don't not mention a word of what happened to her!"

In the kitchen, Charlie's two worlds weren't being very amicable.

"Oh yes, I'm racing to tell her." Sands huffed. "Look, I haven't told her by now. I'm not going to tell her. Just keep your wine-soaked paws to yourself in future."

"Not about that, jackass. About what I told you. As far as she is concerned, you don't know anything about her father, her past and especially not her money. If you're still around and all of a sudden, that cash starts disappearing…"

"What? You'll be annoyed you didn't get your hands on it first?"

Gwen glared at him. "Act dumb in front of Charlotte. That should not be too hard."

"I'll just take your lead." Sands quipped.

Both shut up when Charlie walked into the kitchen and she definitely noticed. "What's going on?"

"Nothing, darling." Her mother smiled. "We were just getting to know each other, weren't we…?"

"Sands." He filled in. "Not too much though."

"Right…" Charlie frowned. "Come on, I'll show you the guest room."

Gwen frowned as Sands began following Charlie. "He's staying here?"

Sands smirked back at her. "Yup. We're gonna be roommates. Won't that be fun?"

He left the kitchen and followed Charlie upstairs.

"You know, if she's annoying you, you don't have to stay here." She pointed out.

"No, I actually do." Sands disagreed. "This is the address listed for the police."

"Only because you made it be."

"Still have to stay."

Charlie rolled her eyes and opened the door to his room. "Here. She's taken the master bedroom so this will have to do."

_She's joking, right? This room is bigger than my apartment._

"Something tells me it will." He said, looking around before frowning and turning to her. "Wait, your mom is in the master bedroom? Where do you sleep?"

"Downstairs in another one of the guest rooms."

"You sleep in the guest room of your own house?"

"Well, this place used to belong to my grandfather and when I used to visit here, I used to stay in that room. I'm just used to it. Anyway, that room has the best view so I like it."

"Still, if this is a guest bedroom, the master bedroom…"

Charlie smiled. "It's still early. You should try and get some more sleep. I know I'm going to."

"Really? I would have thought you would have been running around prepping your mother what to expect from me and prepping me about her."

"I thought about it and I realised this situation is too fucked up to be saved. Besides, no one can prep either of you. You're both going to do whatever the hell you like. So with that in mind, I'll see you later."

"Charlie, wait." Sands said when she began to walk out of the room. She turned to him with a frown. "Last night…"

"Sands, I can't talk about last night. I'm too tried. Of all of it, frankly."

She walked out again but Sands frowned and followed her. He wasn't leaving things like that. "All of what?"

"All of this. Us. This back and forth going from hating each other to…I don't know but I can't keep doing it. It's screwing me up. You're screwing me up, acting like a prick and then acting like the nicest guy in the world and then back to being a prick. I get all confused and I don't like it when I'm confused. I like knowing and I never do with you."

They stopped outside her door. "Well then, let's talk about it."

"I don't want to talk. I want to sleep."

"I can do that."

"You can do it in the room I gave you."

Charlie walked into her own room and Sands frowned when he saw it. It was quite simple. Blue walls, big windows, a single bed. "This is your bedroom? It looks like the smallest one in the house."

"That's because it is. I used to go to the master bedroom but I'm having trouble sleeping lately so I come in here like I used to when I was younger and had the same problem. I always find it easier to sleep nearer the ocean and not surrounded by such clutter." She shrugged.

"Yeah but…This entire place and you sleep in some dinky little single bed?"

"So?"

"It's just…I know you and you like spreading your legs…"

Charlie slapped him indignantly.

"I mean," Sands huffed, bringing his head back from where it snapped. "When you are sleeping, you spread your legs out. One will be hanging off the bed and the other will be thrown over mine. When you are asleep."

"Oh. I thought you meant…"

"Yeah, I got it when you slapped me."

"Well, you could phrase your words a bit better."

"No, no need to apologise." Sands said sarcastically.

"Oh, I know. You had that coming for a long time."

Sands chuckled. "Make you feel better?"

Charlie smiled. "A little."

Sands couldn't get over how much he enjoyed her smile.

* * *

Charlie woke up a few hours later and huffed when she realised.

_Why do I keep letting him do this?_

She'd fallen asleep with Sands again. She wasn't even sure how it happened anymore. They'd be talking and then they'd be sitting, then they'd be lying down and before she knew it, she was asleep in his arms.

_I have to stop letting him worm his way in._

Charlie checked her phone which had been put on silent and realised she had many missed calls. She got up quietly and left the room to call back her sister who no doubt was going insane since Charlie hadn't told her she was leaving the wedding early.

"Charlie!"

"Hey, Rach. Sorry I missed your calls. I was asleep."

"You're also gone!"

"Yeah, that too. Did you get home safe?"

"Don't act like you care now. But yes. And I had a brainstorm on the way home which is why I've been trying to call you."

"Call me?"

"Yes, my brainstorm is about you."

"Oh?" Charlie grimaced.

"Yes, after that whole fiasco last night, I realised why you were in such a funk. I can't imagine that relationship didn't end badly. But you know what you need to do? Get back on the horse."

"Oh God…"

"I've been thinking of a few guys…"

"No, Rachel. Just…No."

"What? They're good guys! They won't abscond you and harass you during a wedding!"

Charlie looked at her door where Sands lay behind. "I don't want you to set me up. Thank you but no. Goodbye Rachel."

"But, Charlie…"

"Goodbye, Rachel."

Charlie hung up her phone and returned to her bedroom. She sat on the bed where Sands was still asleep and started exercising her wrist, just for something to do. It wasn't long before Sands was awake and was stretching. "Hey, sugar. What are you doing?"

"My wrist exercises."

"You still have to do those?"

"Better safe than sorry."

"But you did my surgery perfectly. I think that's proven that you're okay now."

"You never know, I could have been lucky."

"So could I. I get you into bed and you want to sleep?"

Charlie stopped flexing her wrist and looked down at him. "What are you doing here, Sands?" He was about to reply but she cut him off. "And enough with the 'I came to see you' bullshit and how you're just not ready to leave. What's going on? You know you could have had that cop wrapped around your finger last night, why did you choose to stay here? Is it sex? Just tell me."

"Charlie, if it was sex, I would have already tried for sex."

"You did."

"No, all I tried for was some under the sweater action. I haven't even tried to see you naked yet though believe me…"

Charlie put a hand up to stop him. "Okay, I get it. It's not just sex. So, what? Is it control? You didn't like how things ended so you had to end things on your terms? You're not leaving until you're satisfied?"

"In a way…"

"Sands, I can't do this. I'm trying to have a life."

"A life? Going shopping and working on your tan? What life are you trying to have? Jersey Shore?"

"Very funny."

"Charlie, I don't care what you say. This isn't you. You can't be happy here, doing nothing."

"I'm not doing anything because I am waiting to see if I can still be a doctor."

"And if you can't? You're just going to stay here and live off your trust fund like some spoilt little rich kid?" Charlie got up and stormed out of the room. Sands huffed, following her out. "Charlie, come on. I didn't mean it!"

Charlie turned to him angrily. "How dare you bring money into this? It has nothing to do with anything."

"I didn't think you would get so wound up about it. Jesus…You know, most people would actually enjoy having some cash in the bank. At least if you can't be a doctor, you never have to work again."

"You think I'd enjoy that?"

"Isn't that what you're doing now? Killing time by going and getting a manicure? Getting over your boredom by going to the salon? And you're still not happy."

"You know what; this conversation wasn't even about me! How did you do that? How did you twist this? We were talking about you and why you were here! Not why I was here!"

"I'm here because you're here!"

"But why?" She shouted. "You're the last person on earth who should care about me being happy!"

"I didn't think you'd be full of bullshit enough to pull all this sanctimonious 'money isn't everything' bullshit. Money is king, sugar."

"Why are you so obsessed with money?" Charlie frowned.

"Eh…Because I'm human?"

"And the fact that I have some?"

"I didn't know that before I got here but hey, for my next birthday I'm expecting a Porsche."

Sands saw her frown at him. "Oh my God. Are you…Are you only still here because you found out about the money?"

This was bad territory. Territory Sands wanted to get out of as quickly as possible. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"Sands, is it? Is that what all this love business and not wanting to leave is about? The money?"

"I was joking! I don't care about money."

"You were nearly fired from the CIA for trying to steal twenty million dollars!"

"That had nothing to do with you! I didn't even know you then."

"You still tried. Is this just another way for you to get rich? You wanted nothing to do with me, then you just wanted to see the girl you fucked and all of a sudden, there's money involved and you're talking about love? Oh my God, this is utter bullshit."

She walked back to her room and Sands followed her.

"Charlie, wait. You're getting this all wrong! I never cared about the…" She slammed the door in his face, locking it. "Money."

Charlie picked up her phone and called Rachel back.

"Rachel? One of those guys, set it up."

If Charlie wanted to get over Sands and get that poison out of her life, she needed to move on.

* * *

"A date? You're going on a date?"

"What's wrong with that? I'm single."

"And an utter bitch, apparently."

Charlie looked at Sands angrily. "What? You and I aren't together, Sands because you made it happen. And when you were trying to sleep with me, you threw Gina Waitrose over a desk. I'm just going on a date."

"You're only doing this to piss me off." Sands said. "We both know it."

"No, I'm doing this to move on with my life. My Jersey Shore, trust fund, rich kid life."

"I apologised for saying those things."

Charlie frowned. "No, you didn't."

"Okay, I didn't because I don't apologise but Charlie, this is ridiculous. I'll take you out if you're so desperate."

"I'm not desperate. Fuck you. I'm going out with a guy who might actually want to do more than fuck me and abandon me in a Border Patrol station."

"Not many guys would drive across the country just to take a look at you. Not many guys would get arrested just to be near you. Not many guys would fake a place of residence just so he could spend more time with you."

"Not many guys would take one look at me and run a mile."

"That's not fair. I actually did apologise for that. I told you I freaked out."

"By my appearance?"

"By how beautiful you are." Sands said. "I still can't get over it and I am never like that. I can always maintain my cool around women but you fucked me up."

"Yeah, I scared you into hiding."

"Would you stop? Not like that! I mean, I like things about you that I wouldn't like in other women." He tried to defend.

"Oh, really?" Charlie asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yes." Sands replied. "Like…" He tried to think. "Even looking at you now…You have…Your ass is bigger than I thought it'd be. But so are your boobs so it evens out."

She frowned. "Did you just say my ass is fat?"

"No, I've felt you up enough times to know it's not but it's bigger. I mean, I don't care, I still love looking at it..."

"Oh God..."

"But still, not what I was expecting. When I first met you, I was imagining this Giselle, Heidi, sexy doctor thing and then I slept with you and I couldn't imagine anything. You literally had no face. But first time round, Victoria's Secret kind of looking and you're not and you're nowhere near. You're better than any of those women. And you shouldn't be but for me, you are. I don't know why but you are."

Charlie was surprised. She didn't think he had thought about her looks so vividly. It was enough to make her feel better about him running away.

Sands walked over to her. "Cancel your date. Stay here with me."

He kissed her and Charlie took her time, pulling away.

"I can't. I already promised…"

"Who gives a fuck? Stay here with me and I'll show you what I really think of your body."

Charlie rolled her eyes and walked away. "I'm going to get ready. Don't be here when I come back. Go to a bar or something."

"Charlie…"

"Sorry Sands, I'm looking for more than just sex and that seems to be all you're interested in. Get out of here."

"Fine. I'll go. I won't ruin this date."

Charlie turned back to him. "Really?" She asked suspiciously.

"Really." He smirked. "You know why? Because you're going to ruin it. Go on your date. Go out with whatever guy you want but I bet you any money in the world, you're going to come home and want to be with me."

"You think you have that much of a hold on me?"

"I'll see you tonight, sugar." He said, grabbing his keys.

Charlie watched him leave the house and wasn't sure if she could trust this situation.

_He's really gone?_

_Really?_

* * *

Mike Chapman stood outside his date's door. The place was pretty nice. Rachel had told him it would be and she told him great things about her sister so Mike was looking forward to tonight. He rang the doorbell and waited, frowning when another man answered the door.

"Can I help you?"

"Does Charlie Macintosh live here?"

The man smirked. "You must be the date. Come on in, Charlie's just finishing getting ready."

_And thinks I'm long gone to a bar. I bet she never thought a place this big could be a negative but there are some fantastic hiding places._

_This date is going to be fantastic._

_For me._

So he had lied about not ruining her date. Who cared? Rigging the game was still winning. This was better for everyone in the long run. Well, him and Charlie. Sands couldn't give a fuck about the idiot in front of him. He led the date out to the decking.

"I'm sorry, I'm Mike Chapman. I work with Rachel, Charlie's sister. You are…?"

"I'm her roommate. Call me Jeffrey." Sands smirked. "You didn't expect her to pay for a place like this on her own, did you?"

"Oh. Well, I suppose…"

"Oh no. I own this place; she's just renting a room." Sands said, trying to see if telling this guy Charlie wasn't rich would deter him. "Although I'm supposed to be gone now. Charlie doesn't like her dates knowing she lives with another guy."

"So you two live together?"

"Not like that." Sands shrugged. "I'm not interested in her in that way."

"Oh." The guy nodded. "You're…"

"Gay as Christmas." Sands smirked. "Want some advice?"

"Sure."

"Do not make any choices for her. She says she doesn't mind but she hates it! Let her choose the restaurant or whatever you two are going to do and oh! She's on a diet at the moment and she's being very weak about it so if she tries to order something that seems a bit…filling, just tell her that the calories won't do her any good."

"I can't say that to her!"

"Oh no, you can. Trust me, I'm always smacking doughnuts out of her hand and all I've ever gotten are thank yous. She think the whole 'you look amazing', 'you're stunning' act is bullshit. Play to her personality and her resolve and believe me, you might be coming home with her early. She can't resist guys who treat her like an equal and not a little princess."

"Oh, okay."

"And get rid of these." Sands said, taking the flowers out of the man's hands. "She's allergic."

"To flowers?"

"Flowers and empty compliments."

"Wow, thanks. If I didn't know all this…"

"Hey, what are gay best friends for? Making sure she finds a nice guy and I think you are a keeper." Sands smirked. "You just got to know how to handle that mood of hers. And how to sell yourself. I helped you out with her but how will she get to know you unless you talk about yourself? Don't be afraid of dictating conversation. She prides herself on being a great listener. I remember nights here when I had just broken up with…men and she would sit with me for hours and hours, never once opening her mouth, just letting me talk."

"Wow."

"I know, right? Oh and I probably shouldn't tell you this but do not let her drink too much. She gets messy very quickly. One glass of wine is all."

"I can't dictate…"

"You really can. She got into a bit of trouble a few months back and I told her 'Charlotte'', she prefers Charlotte, I said 'Charlotte, if you don't cut back on the drinking, I'm going to have to find a rehab programme' so she's trying to be good but the poor girl can slip. Other than that though, lovely girl."

"Thanks for letting me know."

"No problem." He got up and went to walk back inside. "Well, see you in the morning."

"Morning?" Her date frowned.

"You don't know. Dude, there isn't a guy that comes through this door for her that doesn't leave until the morning after, you get it?"

"Really?"

As opposed to being put off by that, Sands saw this guy liking what he heard. That wasn't what was supposed to happen.

"Oh yeah, and she loves it when guys call her 'babe'. Makes her feel sexy."

"I didn't think she'd be so…"

"Open minded about her sexuality? Oh yeah, she loves it. You know what I've seen work a million times? A hand on the thigh under the table. She loves all that risk and stuff." Seeing as this guy was pretty much eating up all this easy woman business, Sands figured he might as well go overboard with it and hopefully the night would end with a smack and her coming back early.

He couldn't fix it though as he spotted Charlie coming down the stairs.

"But you didn't hear it from me because remember, I was never here." Sands said quickly before rushing into another door as she came out from the living room to the decking.

"Mike? Hey, I'm Charlie." Charlie asked, having absolutely no idea.

"Nice to meet you. You're roommate let me in."

Charlie rolled her eyes at her mother calling herself a roommate. Lodger was more correct. "Ready to go?"

"Definitely."

He walked back inside and Charlie frowned to herself.

_No, don't bother saying I look nice or anything. I've only spent three hours of my life getting ready._

She followed him in. "So what's the plan?"

"Oh, it's up to you." He shrugged.

"I don't really mind." She said. _You couldn't have booked a restaurant or something?_

"Well, it's your decision."

"I haven't been here long, any recommendations?"

"Not really."

"Okay." Charlie's smile was very forced now. "Em…I suppose dinner?"

"Whatever you want, babe."

_How about you leave and I stay home?_

"Let's go then." She said and he left the house with her date.

Sands smirked from his hiding place in the kitchen where he heard the start of what was going to be the most hysterical date ever. He was only sad he couldn't stalk it.

_Although, if he tries anything, I'm going to have to kill him._

* * *

"I'll have the chicken parmesan with…"

"Really?"

Charlie glared at her menu before looking up at her date. "Hmm?"

"It's just…Cheese. Very…heavy on the calories. You might regret it."

Charlie looked at him with wide eyes. "I'll be fine."

"Well it's your decision but…"

"Would you rather I have a salad?" She asked through gritted teeth.

"Don't you think it would be better?"

Charlie looked up at the waiter who looked like he was silently asking her if this date was for charity. "Maybe you could just give me some lettuce that I could nibble on like a bunny?"

"The chicken salad…is good."

"I'll have that." She said, closing her menu, irritated.

"And for you, sir?"

"That chicken parmesan actually looks quite good."

"I need to use the ladies' room." Charlie said, getting up quickly and hurrying off.

She looked in the mirror at herself.

_I never thought this would happen but I cannot wait to go home to Sands._

Charlie stayed in there for a few minutes until she'd stopped being angry and returned to the table.

"So, Charlotte…"

_Oh my God, a question about myself? How strange for him._

_Although where is Charlotte coming from?_

_It's better than babe._

"What kind of work are you involved in?"

"I'm a doctor." Charlie replied.

"Really? I thought that would pull in a lot of money."

Charlie gulped back her wine to keep her from hitting this guy. He was bringing up money now? And her lack of it? Did he not see the size of her house? "I do alright."

"Miss, would you like more wine?" The waiter asked, coming over with the bottle.

"Yes, I…"

"No, we're fine, thank you."

Charlie frowned at her date. "He was asking me."

"I just think this is a nice place and well, better safe than sorry."

This was a nice place so Charlie was trying for very hard not to make a scene but she couldn't guarantee she wasn't going to kick this guy in the crotch in the parking lot.

Once she was stuck with her water and her salad, she pretty much zoned out of whatever this guy said. She just did what she usually did in meetings and watched a movie in her head, knowing each scene off from watching it so much. Her own little private viewing of Pretty Woman was cut short when she felt something unpleasant happening under the table, more specifically, his hand on her thigh.

She looked up at Mike to see him smirking at her. "So Charlotte…"

"Could you please not do that?" She said, resisting the urge to grab her fork and just stab his hand away.

"You seem like the type of girl who likes a bit of risk."

_I'm also the type of girl who likes not vomiting when I'm eating but keep doing what you're doing…_

"It's just a little distracting." Charlie replied.

Luckily for her, he took his hand away. "So, what's the plan after this?"

"Home." Charlie said quickly. "The plan is to go home."

He nodded. "Sounds good."

_Oh thank God, maybe he's as sick of this date as I am._

Turns out, home meant something entirely different for Mike as it did for her so when she found herself outside her door and going to say goodnight, she could not believe he had the gall to lean in and try and kiss her. She quickly avoided it by catching his hand for a handshake.

"Well, this night was…something else. Goodnight."

"You're not going to invite me in?"

He had to be joking.

"What possibly gave you that idea?" She asked.

"Come on babe, we can't possibly end the night like this."

"Really? Well, my good night was over when you dictated what I ate, how much I drank, spoke about yourself the entire time, brought up how much I earn, made me pay when all I had was a salad and when you groped me under a table. Here's a tip for you to help any sorry woman who agrees to go out with you in the future. All that kind of stuff will get you nothing but a trip to the hospital. I tried to be nice because you work with my sister but I can't."

"Charlotte…"

"Charlie."

He frowned. "What?"

Charlie held out her hand again. "Charlie Macintosh, nice to meet you. Please forget where I live."

"What? Why do I always get the psycho bitches?"

"Excuse me? If anyone is the little bitch here…"

The fight was interrupted when the door opened behind her and Sands poked his head out. "Date didn't go well? Sorry to hear that." He pulled Charlie in quickly and shut the door in her date's face before pressing her up against it and kissing her passionately. Sands saw now that she was wearing a little tight black dress with smoky eyes and half up hair. He couldn't resist. Charlie was just so worked up and frankly, happy to be home that she didn't stop him.

"You look fucking amazing tonight, sugar."

She had been in the door thirty seconds and he had already done better than her date in the entire time she was with him tonight so she didn't hesitate to kiss him again. He lifted her, grasping onto her thighs as she wrapped her legs around him. Sands' lips travelled from her own down to her chest. Charlie's hands delved into his hair as his ministrations continued. She definitely wasn't interested when her phone began to ring.

"Why is it," Sands said, his lips against her ear. "Every time I get you where I want you, your phone goes off?"

"Ignore it." Charlie said, turning her head slightly so her lips would near his. "Just kiss me again."

Sands more than happily obliged. He was frustrated to hear a message being left but Charlie wasn't taking any notice.

"Charlie?" Rachel's voice echoed from the answering machine. "I know you're there, pick up. Why am I getting calls from Mike asking me what is wrong with my sister? Shouting at him from the front porch? Nice, Charlie. Oh, and who is this roommate telling him you're a drunk and a whore?"

Charlie pulled away from Sands and looked down at him with a frown.

Sands looked up at her sympathetically. "Clearly Rachel's crazy."

"Charlie?" Rachel continued. "Look, I don't know what's going on with you lately but believe me; you're not doing yourself any favours…"

Charlie pushed Sands away slightly and left him arms, walking over to the phone.

Sands followed her over. Stupid sister having to go and ruin everything. He sighed. "Charlie…"

Instead of picking it up like he thought she was going to, to question about this roommate, she grabbed the cord and unplugged the phone before turning and kissing him again. Sands was surprised but definitely wasn't going to ruin it for himself. He felt her grasp his shirt and push him slightly.

"Bedroom?"

"Too far." She pushed him back onto her couch before climbing on top of him and kissing him again. Sands couldn't believe his luck but the truth was, Charlie had realised something more tonight than just how much patience she truly had. She also realised she hadn't been able to get her mind off Sands all night. Throughout that disaster of a date, she didn't just want to go home. She wanted to go home to him.

Charlie parted the kiss and pushed herself up so she was straddling him and Sands sat up to so he could reach the zip behind her dress. He pulled it down quickly and proceeded to take the dress off her before she did the same to his shirt. Sands grabbed her waist and lifted her so she was lying back on the couch and he was on top of her, his lips on her collarbone and his hands running along with her thighs.

Both froze and looked quickly when the door opened.

"Charlie, what is going…?" Rachel's question turned to a gasp as she froze in the doorway, seeing the two.

Sands realised how it looked. He was on top of her half-naked little sister. But not really much was coming to his mind.

"You must be Charlie's sister."

* * *

"What are you thinking? What are you actually thinking? That guy? He's here? In your home?"

"Rachel, I'm not looking for your approval."

"Well, you won't be getting it! You turn down a perfectly good guy like Mike…"

Charlie scoffed. "Like Mike? A guy who told me I was a fat, drunken whore in the space of one night? He insulted me more in the few hours I was with him than Sands ever has."

"You sound like one of those women in terrible relationships who are too deluded to realise they need to get out for their own health."

Charlie looked at her sister tiredly. "Get out, Rachel."

"Charlie, I am trying to help you and you don't even realise it. You are pushing everyone away for some guy who treated you so badly, you left the state!"

"I know what I'm doing."

_I have no clue what I'm doing._

"Really, Charlie? Because right now, all you're doing is pushing the rest of your family away. You've already done that enough with your father…"

"Get out!" Charlie shouted and Rachel stormed out of the kitchen and out of the house. Charlie put a hand up to her eyes to cover them as she felt the tears coming.

"You alright, sugar?"

"No, I'm not." She said angrily to hide the quiver in her voice. Sands saw the tears though. His first time ever seeing her cry, ever seeing her really broken down and upset. He hated it as much as he loved her smile. He walked over to her and took her into his arms and Charlie hid her face into his chest. She didn't know how he could be the cause and solution of all her problems but she wasn't questioning it tonight.

"Come on," Sands said, lifting her into his arms properly. "You're going to bed."

"Oh God, Sands…"

"Not for that, sugar." Sands chuckled. "I'm not really into the whole crying during sex thing."

He brought her into her bedroom and put her on the bed. He was surprised when she grabbed his arm.

"You could stay. If you want."

"I wasn't kidding about not being into that."

"To sleep, Sands."

Sands smirked and climbed in next to her.

"You know sugar, you could have let me know your sister only lived a few houses away. Might have locked a door and this night would have ended much happier."

"It's ending pretty okay for me."

Sands didn't know why, it never usually would have been enough, but it was ending pretty well for him too.

They stayed silent for a while but something Sands had overheard Rachel say was niggling at him. Charlie's father. Of course, he wasn't supposed to know anything about it but it had gotten her that upset.

"Sugar, where's your father?"

Sands felt Charlie tense in his arms. "Why are you asking?"

"No reason. I've just…I've met your mother and your sister. One is crazy, one is annoying. I'm just curious about the father."

"He's dead."

Sands frowned. "Oh right. Sorry to hear that."

_That big fat lie you're telling me. Very sorry to hear it._

"He died when I was seventeen. I don't talk about it."

"Fair enough."

Sands dropped it and the night consisted of no more words, just a simple lie hanging in the air between them.

* * *

"Rachel hates you, you know."

"If I had ever met her properly and she was anything like her mother, I am sure the feeling would be mutual."

Gwen smirked sarcastically the next morning when her and Sands were in the kitchen. Charlie had, against her better judgement, dared to leave them alone together for five minutes while she went to get the mail. "I was talking to her this morning. She said you're bad for my daughter, you're emotionally abusing her. She's pushing loved ones away because of you."

"Yeah, because she was so close to you all before."

"I love my daughter, Mister Sands. If I find out you're doing anything to hurt her…"

"You'll throw a martini in my face?"

They glared at each other, Gwen not thinking Sands gave a damn about her daughter and Sands knowing Gwen only gave a damn about the money her daughter had access to, not the daughter herself. How was she supposed to get a cut if Charlie wasn't speaking to her?

They stopped focusing on each other when their real focus came into the kitchen. Sands noticed her frowning as she read a letter in her hand.

"What's wrong?"

Charlie looked up at them. "Oh, nothing. Sorry, was concentrating on walking and reading and not bumping into anything."

Sands frowned. "Charlie?"

"Charlotte." Her mother corrected, making him look at her tiredly.

"It's fine." Charlie said though her smile didn't fool Sands. "I'm just going to go for a shower."

She walked out of the kitchen and Sands followed her. He found her in her bedroom, sitting on her bed and rereading the letter. "What is it?"

Charlie looked up at him. "My meeting with the medical board."

"What?"

"I have to go back to Virginia."

* * *

**Clearly if that Mike guy was stupid enough to believe all that stuff, Charlie would have hated him anyway. =P**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	32. Trust

**To GigiMusic: You'd think Sands would be better at getting on a woman's good side. =P Thanks!  
**

**Here's Chapter 32!**_  
_

_She's going back to Virginia?_

"But…I thought you already lost your license?"

Charlie shook her head. "No, my license was suspended and it will be until this meeting when they decide if I'm fit to still be a doctor."

"Well, they're going to say yes."

"Are they? Sands, I did a surgery I wasn't approved for."

"And you did it successfully."

"But it might not have been. That's what they're going to focus on."

"They're going to focus on something that didn't happen? These don't sound like the kind of people who should be deciding important things."

"They're going to focus on the fact that I didn't consider the risk when operating on a person."

"What if I go? Tell them that I'm glad you did it?"

"It won't matter. Anyway, you still can't leave California."

"Fuck the court date." He said as if it were obvious. "If you want me to go back, I'll go back."

"Oh yeah, and you'll miss court, a warrant will be issued and you'll go to jail. I don't have ten grand to bail you out again."

Sands frowned. She definitely did but he wasn't going to say anything. "They'll never know."

"Knowing our luck, they'll set the date while we're in Virginia. No, I'll go on my own. It'll only be one day."

"Yeah but a day with CIA around. What are you going to say to them?"

Charlie frowned. "What do you mean?"

"About why I'm still here and you're there."

"Wait a minute, they know you're here? With me?"

"Well…Kinda."

"Why the hell did you tell them that?" Charlie asked angrily. "Why couldn't you say you were visiting a sick relative or…something else! Now I'm going to have to go there and face all their questions!"

"Which is why I'm offering to go with you."

"No, just," Charlie huffed. "Just stay here and I'll tell them about the court case but say you're staying at a hotel or something and that I haven't seen you."

"You think they'll believe that?"

"No. I don't think they'll believe that. I think they know you're here and that we slept together because you seem to have no problem parading that fact around." She said angrily.

"Come on Mac, no one knows."

"Trevor."

"Doesn't have any proof. Look, I'll call him right now and tell him that I left here but I'm hiding out somewhere else because it's quite obvious someone at the CIA is after my blood and until that person is caught, I don't feel like having to watch over my shoulder all the time."

"You think that will work?"

"I'll think it's typical enough of me that he'll buy it."

Charlie sighed as she got up off her bed. "Call Trevor. I'm going for a shower."

Sands nodded and watched as she walked into the bathroom. "Need an extra pair of hands? Wha…That is not a nice finger, Mac!"

After her shower, Charlie had another problem to take care of. Getting rid of her mother.

"Look Dick, I know you two have your problems but you got married for a reason."

"Things changed." He said over the phone.

"Things can change back. You've both had your time to think and now it's time to act like adults and realise you made a vow. Till death do you part. They don't throw that vow in for fun, you know."

"I just don't think the old feelings are there anymore."

"Are you kidding? Mom's been all over the place with her…Feelings. Emotions everywhere. Sad ones. Devastated."

"Really?"

Charlie looked out at her mom lounging on the decking, tanning herself without a care in the world. "Yup."

"But she's the one who left."

"That was pride. She tries to act prideful but it's easy to see she needs you."

_And I need her gone._

"She said some pretty nasty things."

"Oh come on Dick, what are you? A twelve year old girl? Sticks and stones. Get over here and bring her home and sort it out! It's a marriage, not a gym membership. You can't sign up for one and then just forget all about it. Take back your wife!"

Charlie hung up the phone with a huff.

_Probably should have been a bit nicer to get him to do what I want._

_Oh please, dictators aren't very nice and they always get what they want._

_Probably shouldn't take tips on how to treat people from dictators…_

Charlie looked into the kitchen where Sands was on the phone to Trevor.

_He'd actually probably make a good dictator. His ability to get whatever he wants from people while simultaneously being a complete asshole to them is probably the most revered talent by wannabe dictators._

_I have to stop thinking about dictators. This is why I had no friends until I learned to shut the hell up._

_You still have no friends._

_Yeah but that's out of choice. People are, as it turns out, really annoying._

"Charlotte, you're doing that thing where you stand around and do nothing for no reason." Her mother said, coming inside.

"It's called thinking." Charlie retorted, going into the kitchen and finding out what was going on in Virginia.

"You just said yourself there's nowhere you need to send me and since that's pretty much my job…I don't have any paperwork to do, I was blind. Speaking of, did the autopsy report come back on Hobbs?"

Charlie looked at Sands wide-eyed. Hobbs was dead? When? How?

"Yes! Murder!" Sands said triumphantly but turned solemn when he saw Charlie looking at him like he was insane. "I knew it was. Whoever was trying to murder me got to him to keep him quiet. Nope Trev, I ain't coming home until you at least have someone to question or a mission that sends me out of the country and away from murder. Bye now."

"Hobbs was murdered?" Charlie asked when he hung up his phone.

"Kinda. A little."

"A little?"

"He was found hanging in his cell and it was thought to be suicide but I knew better and I was right. It was the person who was trying to kill me."

"Yeah…Well…Good for you, I guess. Sands, if someone is trying to kill you, shouldn't you focus on that instead of…Me?"

"You're much more pleasant to focus on."

_That was nearly a compliment. I'm getting better at not being a complete dick to her._

_Being nice to the woman I love. Almost a natural at it._

"Em…Okay." Charlie said. "Did Trevor believe you about not being here?"

"He's sceptical but let him prove otherwise. Just don't say anything when you go back and things should be fine."

"That's a bit of an overstatement."

"Great news, darling." Charlie's mother said to her, coming into the kitchen. She looked at Sands with a raised eyebrow and he rolled his eyes, walking out of the kitchen. Charlie knew he wouldn't be going far though. Eavesdropping was his favourite hobby. Gwen didn't seem to take notice though. "Dick just called me and he wants to talk things out."

_Ha! I'd make an awesome dictator!_

"Oh, really?"

By the door, Sands was having his own thoughts.

_Ding dong, the witch is gone._

_It'd be nicer if I could use the real lyrics to that song…_

"Yes so I'm going to go pack my things and go home." Gwen kissed her on the cheek and rushed off. "But first, I was talking to Rachel and she wants us all to go out to lunch. To talk."

Charlie shook her head. "Um…No."

"No? Why no?"

"I'm just not in the mood to have the two of you ganging up on me about Sands."

"Honey, we have absolutely no plans to "gang up on you"." Gwen huffed. "My God Charlotte, you can be so overdramatic. This is just a little mother-daughter lunch, not the German Inquisition."

"Do you mean Spanish Inquisition?"

"Whatever. People don't like being corrected, Charlotte." Charlie didn't reply and Gwen was busy surveying her. "Are you really gone on wearing white? You've been wearing it a lot lately."

Charlie frowned down at her white sundress. "What's wrong with white?"

"Oh, nothing. Much. It just…To be honest, it isn't your colour, honey."

Sands' eyebrows furrowed. What was wrong with her outfit? _She looks fine, gorgeous. Are you blind, lady?_

"It isn't?" Charlie replied. "Well, I'll make sure to not wear it anymore then."

"Charlotte, don't be sarcastic. No one likes it. All I'm saying is there are other colours that suit you better and besides, you have to be practically a supermodel to pull of white. Black makes you look slimmer, white makes you look larger."

"That's not true." Charlie frowned. "Bright colours don't make people look fat." She glared at her mother when she saw the woman take this into consideration and then survey her daughter's shape again.

"Are you sure you want to commit to that, darling and not blame the white?"

"Blame it for what?" Charlie fumed.

"Nothing." Gwen shrugged. "You're my daughter; I'd love you, no matter your shape."

Sands could practically feel Charlie's annoyance from where he stood and he had to admit, he was indignant for her. _There is nothing wrong with her shape. I'm a huge fan of it._

"Oh well, I'm going to go pack." Gwen said. "Nice seeing you, darling."

She left the kitchen and Sands came back in.

"Well, this day is getting better." Sands said. "Your mother is leaving and there was a murder confirmed. Good day."

"Yeah. Fantastic." She replied distractedly, looking down at her outfit.

Sands noticed and to take her mind off of her mother, he reached into his pocket. "Here."

Charlie frowned as she caught the keys Sands threw at her. "What are these?"

"Keys. They lock and unlock things. Mainly doors but you can also get them for windows, lockers, drawers, they're pretty popular actually."

Charlie gave him a tired look. "Why are you giving me your keys?"

"Why stay at a hotel when I have an empty apartment just lying around?"

That surprised Charlie. A lot. "You're offering me your apartment?"

"I'm offering you a place to stay. You have enough residences; you don't need to own mine."

Charlie smiled. "Well, thanks. I appreciate it. But I don't think it'll work. What about when someone asks me where I'm staying? We're not very secretive as it is."

"Just lie and say you're staying at a hotel."

Charlie smiled. "What happened to me not being able to lie?"

"You've kept enough of our secrets to convince me."

Charlie was about to walk out of the kitchen but stopped and turned back to him. "Sands, we need to talk about last night."

"What's there to talk about? It was great until your psycho sister ruined everything."

"I just…I don't want you to expect that…to happen again."

Sands frowned. "Wait, why wouldn't I?"

"Because it's not going to." Charlie said firmly. "Last night was…a slip on my behalf."

"No, it wasn't. You wanted to."

"I know I did and I'm always going to want to…"

"Then what's the problem?"

"The problem is you enjoy sex with no strings. I, on the other hand, find sex a little more personal so we're probably not ever going to figure out a way that will suit us both. And I tried the sex with no strings thing back in Virginia before I left, even after what you did in that Border station, but every time, it just hurt me more. I'm not doing that again. I thought I could last night and realised I couldn't this morning."

"This is because of the meeting, isn't it?" Sands asked. "You think you might get your job back and don't want me around to risk it if you do."

"Okay, first of all, even if that was the case, that wouldn't be a crazy thing to want. And secondly, I hope I do still have my license but even if I do, the CIA isn't going to take me back. I am not going back to Virginia, Sands. But you are. So what's the point in any of this? And thirdly, I still don't forgive you or trust you. You seem to keep forgetting that. I don't want you because you lied to me to get me to have sex with you and then used it against me."

"You can't keep bringing that up."

"What? Of course I can!"

"It's the past!"

"Not for me!"

"Well, maybe it should be. I mean, why is it still such an issue when I've made it clear I don't stand by what I did?"

Charlie looked at him like he was crazy. She had a feeling he was. "Why? Hmmm, let's see. I slept with you then you treated me like shit when you realised you weren't going to die then you think I'm pregnant and when you find out I'm not, you ignore me, my career could be ruined because of you and your only thoughts were about yourself and then I leave to try and rebuild my life and you swan right back in expecting to get me into bed again. Well no, Sands, I'm done. I am not getting involved with you anymore. It cost me too much the last time."

"Okay, let's sort a few things out, shall we? One, I didn't break your wrist; I admit that it had to do with me but it's not my fault. I never wanted to ruin your medical career. Two, I was there when you took that pregnancy test, remember? I was right fucking there!"

"But you only…"

"Shut up and let me finish. I didn't run like my brain was screaming at me to, I stayed there and waited for an answer. The test was negative so what did you want me to do? Bring you into the bedroom and make you pregnant? I did what I was supposed to in that case. The fact that you acted like a complete bitch after it made me storm out, not the fact that you were, once again, not pregnant. Three. I ignored you? You're the one who didn't want anyone to find out about us! What the fuck was I supposed to do? You wanted to keep it quiet, I kept it fucking quiet. You're the one who became needy."

"Oh really? There weren't people around us all the time, Sands. Sometimes we were alone and you still acted like an asshole."

"Because I did what I said I would? You said yourself you never should have expected more."

"And you shouldn't expect anything now." Charlie huffed. "Look, I'm going to Virginia tomorrow, stay here and enjoy the place. Just…stop trying to enjoy me."

Charlie left and Sands watched her as she went, not at all happy. If anything, it made him hate Rachel more. If she hadn't interrupted last night, things would probably have gone a lot differently.

_It was so much easier when there weren't people that cared about her around._

After Gwen left and the sun went down, Sands went for a shower and when he came back into the kitchen, he saw a very surprising sight.

"Charlie, what are you doing?"

"Cooking dinner." She said, looking over some recipes her brother had given her.

"But you can't cook."

"Trying to cook dinner."

"Ah." Sands said, walking over the island. "How's it going?"

"Good. I think. Maybe."

"Well, you're a surgeon. If you can fix a person, surely you should be able to…Your stove's on fire."

Charlie looked up and turned to see Sands was right. She wet a towel quickly to place over it but Sands was up like a shot and pulled her back quickly when the fire heightened dangerously.

"Oh my God!"

"Do you have a fire extinguisher?" He asked quickly.

"Under the sink!"

Sands got it quickly and put the fire out before turning to her with a raised eyebrow. "Are you some kind of danger fetishist or something? Is that what your deal is?"

"That's what you're supposed to do! Don't put water, put a towel over it!"

"A towel that you have wringed all the water out of, maybe so it doesn't drip into the oil?"

"Oh."

"And maybe do it after you've turned off the gas?"

"Oh."

"Oh. You're lucky it was only a few drips. You could be not having a face right now."

_Would I love her if she didn't have a face? I'm sure I would. After all, she was with me when I had no eyes but…I just got to see her face, I don't know if I could put up with it being gone so soon after I got it._

Sands frowned at his own thought process.

_Maybe she's right. Maybe I am insane._

Charlie looked at her stove pathetically before looking back at him.

"Pizza?"

* * *

"How can you give a man the ability to see but not remember to strain a towel?"

"I panicked, Sands. Let it go."

"Aren't you in like Mensa or something?"

"Let it go."

Sands chuckled but didn't say anymore. They were sitting on the floor of her living room with a pizza box in between them that no one had to risk death to acquire.

"So," Charlie said. "Did they get anything from Hobbs before he died?"

"Ah, the good ol' chat over pizza about murdered attempted murderers."

"I'm curious. I was there when he tried to kill you. I was the one who someone was willing to let die in Mexico to make sure you weren't saved. I'm kind of involved."

"No, you're not." Sands said. "You are not involved anywhere in this mess and don't try to make yourself. You're all about putting yourself in danger tonight for some reason. And no, he wouldn't give anything up."

"How are you not completely terrified? I would be if I were in your position."

"I'm trained to be calm and one step ahead, remember?"

"How can you be one step ahead of someone when you don't even know who they are?"

"By assuming they're the most dangerous person in the world."

"If they work for the CIA and are going rogue, they probably are."

"I'm in the CIA and I went rogue…For a while. So far, we're even."

"You could be a bit more hesitant. Someone is trying to kill you and you're treating it like it's…"

"An everyday occurrence?" Sands asked. "That's because it kind of is in my line of work."

Charlie nodded. "Right."

"Lots of danger." Sands said, trying to drill in why he might not be able to be in a relationship. Maybe he could explain it to her this way. "Never knowing if I'm coming home. Never knowing if I'm safe once I am back here."

"Sounds right up your street, to be honest. A lonely life for someone who doesn't like having anyone around. I mean, you must know what you're signing up for when you get into the CIA."

_Wait, is she trying to drop her own clues?_

"Yeah, it's a great job for people who don't ever change."

"I'm kinda glad I'm not there anymore. I can deal with helping people after the shoot offs and explosions but once I got thrown into them…It's much more your area than mine."

_Alright, I get it. I belong in the CIA because I'm a heartless bastard._

"Well, you dealt with it well enough. You survived. Maybe people can be good at things they don't seem like they'd be good at." Sands said, dropping his own hints.

"Or maybe people have a fluke but then just go back to being the person they always were and always will be. One week where you think they could be this new way that seems great but then they just go back to themselves and disappoint you."

"Okay, we're not really talking in hints anymore."

Charlie shrugged. "I was never good at being vague."

"I know. You've had plenty to say to me."

"You know when you leave a fight and you then think of all the great stuff you could have said? You coming here actually let me say all those things. I should have kept a list."

"I think you're doing pretty well at making your feelings clear without one."

"How do you expect me to act?" Charlie asked, looking at Sands hopelessly.

"Like…" Sands didn't know how to answer. "I don't know what to expect. I know how I wanted you to act."

"How?"

"Like you did before we got taken to Mexico."

"Telling you I'm not going to sleep with you? I'm pretty much doing that right now."

"No, I mean right before." Sands clarified. "When you told me how you really felt. I'm not liking this whole 'I hate you' routine."

"I never said I hated you."

"But you do, right?"

"No. I've tried to. I can't hate you though."

"Why not? A lot of other women would. A lot of other women do."

"Exactly. I should have been smarter, knowing what I was getting into with you. I doubt I'm the first woman you've ever told what you told me, about things being serious. I mean, look at Melissa…"

"No, let's not look at Melissa." Sands said with a hint of anger. Really, there was no comparison. "What happened between me and her and what happened between me and you was very different."

"You slept with her?"

Sands huffed. "Yes."

"You let her think it'd become something serious?"

Sands didn't answer.

"Sands?"

"Yes." He said tensely.

Charlie stood up. "What's the difference?"

Instead of waiting for an answer, she left and walked back to her bedroom, leaving Sands on his own contemplating how, though there was a million and one differences for him, in reality, nothing was different at all.

_Just say it. Three little words. Just say it!_

He really wished he could pluck up the courage to just say those three little words but it'd been made clear that she wasn't going to say them back and Sands might have been able to face a lot of things but he wasn't willing to face that.

_If you don't, then this entire trip will have been for nothing. Even if she's not coming back to Virginia, even if she doesn't say it back, if you don't do it and leave, you will regret it. She's going to move on. She's probably going to get married and have kids or some nauseating shit like that but just by saying those three one syllabled words, you're always going to be in the back of her mind._

Sands didn't think he'd have this courage for very long so he got up quickly and rushed into her room. "Charlie, I…"

He was stopped when she held her hand up quickly with wide eyes and Sands saw she was on the phone.

"Tomorrow?" She was saying. "But the meetings not until…Look, I don't know why you're getting involved. This meeting has nothing to do with the CIA." She said, trying to give Sands a clue as to why he couldn't talk. "No, I just…Fine. I said fine! I'll be there tomorrow."

She hung up her phone and let out a sigh.

"Who was that?" Sands asked. "Trevor?"

"No, Armisen. Apparently this meeting means as much to the CIA as it does to me. I need a drink…" She said, standing up and leaving her room. Sands followed her out though the thought of the CIA had killed any courage he had. In his want to let Charlie know that she wasn't just a quick lay, he'd forgotten why he told her that in the first place. Now he remembered. She wanted to be with him but he couldn't be with her. Confessing the truth would reverse all the damaged he meant to cause to keep her safe.

"Want one?" She asked as she poured herself a drink.

"Always."

Soon, they were both sitting at the table with only one lamp lighting the kitchen, the bottle on the table between them. The drink kept flowing and before long, neither was very sober.

"Come on, just tell me."

"Sands, no!"

"I won't tell anyone you told me."

"Sands, I am not telling you who in the CIA has a sexually transmitted infection. It goes against my ethics!"

"They fired you. You should want to get revenge."

Charlie smiled. "You're completely insane."

"So they tell me. Trevor, especially."

"You can't be too hard on him." Charlie pointed out. "He let us get away with a lot."

"Yeah, because he knew I was a good agent and he had the hots for you."

"No, that's just…He didn't."

"Mac, come on. You admitted it yourself that you two had a weird flirting thing going on when you first started to work there."

"Yeah, when I first began to work there, not when I started being your doctor."

"Well, you can't have been working there long before I became your patient, I would have known you."

"Sands, I worked there for years." Charlie frowned. "I even saw you around some times."

"What? No, you didn't." Sands said, not believing she could have been around him long before he lost his sight and never noticed her before.

Charlie shrugged. "I never learned your name until I saw your file on the way to Mexico but yeah. It's not a big deal, why would you know me when I wasn't your doctor?"

"Because…I would have noticed you!"

Charlie smiled. "Would you?"

"I thought I would have! I tend to take notice of chesty blondes…"

"I only turned blonde recently and," She leaned over and smacked the side of his head. "I'm not chesty."

"That was a compliment!" Sands defended. "All I'm saying is I should have noticed you. I should have. You're better than any Melissa or Waitrose or Celia…"

Charlie frowned. "Celia?"

"Mailroom. Nice girl. Italian, I think…"

Charlie rolled her eyes.

"My point is," Sands got back on track. "I would have looked at you, brown or blonde…"

"I had red hair. Dark, dark red."

"Whatever. Would you let me make my point?"

"Sorry."

"My point is…I can't remember but you're hot."

"Thanks."

"No problem."

"You're not so bad yourself."

"Can I get that in writing?"

Charlie smiled before standing up. "I gotta get to bed. I have to be on a plane tomorrow."

Sands stood up too. "What time is your flight?"

"Midday." She said as she walked to her room. She was to walk in before she remembered. "Wait, what did you want to tell me?"

"What?"

"When you barged into my room a while ago. Completely forgot."

"Oh," Sands tried to think. "Just that…"

Charlie frowned, going into her room and letting him follow her in though if he thought he was sleeping in here, he had another thing coming. "Sands?"

"I just wanted to tell you…"

"Yes?"

"You're wrong."

"Wrong about what?" Charlie asked, going into the bathroom to get changed into her pyjamas.

"Wrong about you and Melissa meaning the same thing to me." He called after her, sitting on the bed. "I wouldn't have followed Melissa out to Malibu."

"Even if you'd slept with her and never saw her? You wouldn't be curious enough to?"

"I wouldn't have worked so hard. Mainly because I wouldn't have to. Melissa was easier to get than you were and I don't just mean into bed. You made me want to see you long before we had sex." She walked out of the bathroom and stood in front of him with a frown. "Even if we hadn't, I'd be here. I never would have followed her based on who she was. I never would have gone near her if I was blind when I met her."

Charlie really couldn't believe what she was hearing from him but it was the best he could do. "Do you regret it?" She asked. "Ending things that way?"

Sands looked up at her. "Would you have stayed in Virginia if I hadn't? Despite the fact that you had no home and no job?"

"Why, whenever I ask you a serious question like that, do you fire one back at me instead of answering?"

Sands sighed. The alcohol had lowered his inhibitions slightly so he was speaking more freely than usual. "Because nothing is ever going to be able to happen and not just because you live here and I live in Virginia when I'm not flying off to some secret location but also because I can't ever change what I did to you and I knew what I was doing then."

"So you don't?"

"I regret the way I did it but I still have the reasons I did then, now."

Charlie nodded. "So why are you still here? Why not go back to Virginia and get on with your life?"

"Because I was in Virginia for weeks when you were gone and I had my eyesight back and I was back in the CIA and everything should have been perfect but I still couldn't get my mind off of you. I figured I needed to see you and then I'd be fine. Then I did see you and that whole showdown happened and I realised not only was I curious, and I hate admitting this, I felt guilty."

"No, you didn't." Charlie said with a scoff.

"Yeah, you're right." Sands frowned. "Don't know what made me say that. I've never felt guilty for anything ever. I guess I felt…I don't know. But I haven't forgotten how much I owe you. You gave me my eyes and I ain't taking that lightly."

"Wait," Charlie frowned. "You want to make sure we're…good?"

No, Sands wanted her to declare that she loved him, was going to move back to Virginia and not talk to her family again and accept that sometimes, he was going to say things that offended her but she was willing to put up with that.

"Sure. Friends…" He said, not sounding like he liked the idea at all. Mainly because he didn't but how else was he supposed to be able to stay around her when she didn't trust him? "You can't say we didn't have fun before everything went…downhill."

Charlie wasn't loving the idea either. She wouldn't admit it but she was like Sands. She wanted the relationship to go all the way or not have one at all. Keeping things platonic? That was going to be the hardest out of every option. So she did what she felt she had to.

"No."

"No?"

"Sands," She sighed. "I don't want to be your friend. I want you to try and prove I can trust you. I want things to go back to the way they were in Mexico and I should lose my dignity saying that but I'm not because I know you know it's true. I liked things the way they were then and I am so mad at you for ruining it. I want a lot of things but friendship is not one of them. I can't do it and I don't want to try."

Despite being dejected by this, Sands felt a little better. She still wanted things to go back to how they were which meant she still had feelings for him. "You can, you know. Trust me."

"I thought I could."

"You could even…Give me another chance?"

_What the fuck am I doing? Shut up. I can't be with her!_

_Yes, I can. I'll work around it. _

Sands was going to swear off alcohol in the morning but right now, he was just going with what he wanted as opposed to what was best.

"What?" Charlie frowned. "You're asking me to give you another chance?"

"You're not with the CIA anymore so that's not a factor…"

"We live in different states."

"Move back."

"No Sands, I can't…"

"Have you sold your apartment yet?"

"No."

"Then you can. Get a job at a hospital in Virginia."

"And what about when you're going off on missions? What about the fact that I don't trust you? We have one fight and I believe you'll go off with another woman."

Sands stood up. "Why do you believe that? I never did anything like that to you." He frowned. "Apart from the time I did with Waitrose..."

"Right after I told you I care about you."

"Well, things are different now. I don't care about Waitrose or Melissa or any one of them. I care about you. I lo…" Sands caught himself. Not yet. She'd run a mile. "I look at you and you're all I want."

Charlie closed her eyes. "I can't do this now. You always do this, Sands. You always tell me these things at the worst times. I'm trying to focus on saving my career and you're telling me you made a mistake?"

"You knew I did before now. You had to."

"Yeah but I didn't think you were willing to admit it. Just, give me time to think about this. Please."

"Charlie…"

"Sands. Please."

Sands nodded and went to leave the room but not before kissing her. When he did leave, Charlie let out a sigh.

_I'm pretty sure he does these things to annoy me._

_Or confuse me. _

_Well, he's always succeeded at both._

The next morning, Sands was still sleeping when Charlie crept into his room and sat on the side of his bed. "Sands, wake up."

She heard Sands leave out a groan.

"Hung-over?"

"Never drinking again." She heard him mutter.

"Yeah, I think we're both on the same wavelength there." She nodded. "You can go back to sleep but I just wanted to let you know I won't be here when you wake up."

Sands frowned, finally opening eyes. It was still early morning and she was still wearing her pyjamas so obviously she wasn't leaving now. "Why?"

"The CIA just called. My meeting got pushed up so they booked me an earlier flight. I'm going to go get ready now and then I'm gone."

Sands nodded. "Okay. You got the keys?"

Charlie smiled. "I have the keys. I guess I'll see you in a few days."

She went to stand up but Sands grabbed her wrist, making her look back at him.

"What do you remember about last night?"

She considered lying. She said things she would have never said sober and she was sure it was the same for him which was why was asking. She didn't see the point though. He obviously remembered. "Everything."

"Fantastic…"

"Look, both of us can pretend it never happened. We were drunk."

"We were honest."

"And no one wanted that."

"You admitted to wanting to be with me, I admitted something like that…"

"That's exactly what you admitted."

"And now we can't forget it happened."

"So what are you proposing?" Charlie asked.

"You call in sick, rearrange your meeting and you spend the day here with me where we have incredible make-up sex for the entire day."

Charlie tried to refrain from smiling. "Nice try."

"We can…talk too, if it means that much to you. I can try and prove you can trust me."

"You just want sex."

"I really, really do but the trust part would be nice too. It made things a whole lot easier."

"Not for me." Charlie said. "Funny, when it's your career on the line, you don't want to risk a relationship but when it's my career, you want me to risk it for just sex."

"Just sex?_ Just _sex?" Sands smirked. "I know you, sugar. You're missing our little bedroom escapades. Just admit it. You did last night. We can recreate a lot of Mexico today."

Charlie smiled. "You're evil."

"Admit it."

"No."

"You know you want to."

Charlie huffed. "Will it get you to shut up?"

"Sure, why not?"

"I miss the sex."

Before she knew it, Sands had grabbed her waist and lifted her so she was straddling him. Charlie surveyed the position with a raised eyebrow.

"Not happening, Sands."

"The way we're positioned would indicate very differently."

"You positioned us this way."

"And I don't regret it."

Charlie smiled. "I did some thinking last night and I have to admit, I liked the side of you I saw. The side that wanted more than just sex."

"Like I said, honesty."

Charlie put her lips close to his. "Maybe, if things go my way in Virginia, you might get your way."

Sands sat up slightly. "Really?"

"Maybe. After all, if things don't go my way, I doubt I'll be in the mood."

"But if they do, you're going to give me another chance?"

"I thought about it. A lot. Last night was pretty much me thinking about you instead of my meeting which is very foolish. But I think, after everything you've done for me lately, coming out here just to see me, putting up with my crazy family, admitting the truth about everything and just trying to prove that I can, I want to trust you again."

"You can. Charlie, you can." Sands stroked her hair behind her ear.

Charlie looked at him seriously. "Don't make me regret this."

Sands kissed her. "You won't."

"And I also won't let you distract me anymore from preparing as well as I can for this meeting which you are trying to do without us sleeping together." Charlie said, getting off him and sitting on her side of the bed as Sands kept lying down behind her.

"So we should just have sex and get it over with?"

"No, not until I come home, after that meeting."

"When will that be?"

"A few days."

"Days?" Sands asked exasperatedly. "Not tomorrow? But that's…Days, Mac."

"If you're serious about this, you'll wait."

Sands sat up and Charlie felt him kiss her shoulder. "Then I guess I'm waiting."

Charlie definitely wasn't sure if she was doing the right thing. He had acted this way before and she trusted him and it completely backfired on her. Now she was doing it all over again? She just hoped he wouldn't let her down and it was something he seemed adamant not to do so maybe this wasn't going to end like last time.

She looked back at him. "I just…I need time to…Get used to this."

A sudden thought popped into Sands' head. "Okay but…"

"What?"

"Charlie, you're not just stalling sex because you're…insecure, are you?"

Charlie frowned. "Insecure over what? We've had sex already."

"Yeah but I was blind…"

"You think I don't want you to see me?"

"It's just, in Mexico; we couldn't go three hours without being all over each other and now this waiting business…"

"That's ridiculous." Charlie said though Sands didn't think very convincingly. "What about that night after my date?"

"Never got under your bra, doesn't count."

"Of course it does!"

"Nope, that was very little more than first base."

"What are we? Teenagers?"

"But I didn't see any of the goods. I only got the dress half off before your psycho sister ruined everything."

"I'm beginning to rethink my decision here."

"Just admit it. You're insecure."

"No. I'm just waiting so I can focus on…"

"We had sex the night before my surgery. You weren't worried about losing your focus then."

"I wasn't doing the surgery."

"Just overlooking every aspect. Also, with your mother around recently and acting like the wicked witch of the west in regards to everything you do and how you look…" Sands looked at her. You're not comfortable with me seeing you yet."

Charlie sighed. "So what if I'm not?"

Sands placed his hand against her cheek. "Why don't you want me to see you? Charlie, I know your body like the back of my hand. I've seen it in my head a thousand times."

Charlie got up off the bed. "Exactly." She said, as if it were obvious. "You've imagined it every day since we had sex, probably before. I don't know what you're expecting, what you want."

Sands got up out of the bed too. "I want to see you! To finally be able to watch you! It's not wrong for me to be curious about that too."

"I know it's not. But I'm allowed be nervous and if you really are serious about this, you'll just…You'll let me become comfortable in my own time."

She left the room and let Sands a little shocked. Was the reason she told him yesterday that nothing was happening because she didn't want him to see her?

_This could be a problem._

_No, no problems. She just agreed to give me another chance. This is good. Dangerous but good. I can work with this. The danger is less because she lives out here for the time being, no one will know about her out here. If things improve, she'll move back to Virginia and I'll take it from there. Then I'll be so great that she'll tell me she loves me and I won't have to say it first and I can get over my crippling fear or rejection and humiliation._

_It's a win for everyone!_

_For the love of God, don't fuck it up again…_

* * *

"Thanks. You didn't have to do this."

"Just proving that I am a reliable and trustworthy person."

Charlie smiled at him as he parked outside the airport. "Laying it on a little thick, aren't we?"

"Whatever works, sugar." Sands smirked. "Tell them I said hi. Oh wait, no, don't."

Charlie shook her head. "I'll see you when I get back."

_What am I doing? Is this a mistake? Is letting him close to me the stupidest thing I could possibly do?_

_Even though he can make me really happy._

_That just means he can make you feel so much worse._

_I'll never know unless I try._

Charlie reached over, pressing her lips against his. "I'll see you in a few days."

"Good luck."

She left the car and walked into the airport feeling quite good about everything.

Typically this only lasted a few hours.

"He's with you, isn't he?"

"Excuse me?" Charlie frowned when Trevor came down to let her into the CIA. She didn't have a key card anymore so someone from the inside needed to clear her.

"Don't play dumb."

"I never play dumb." Charlie lied, playing her part convincingly enough, she hoped.

"Sands, he's with you?"

"No, Sands went home. I made Sands go home."

Trevor frowned. "You mean he's not still in Malibu?"

Charlie feigned disbelief. "You mean he's not here? But he needs to be here. They're going to want to ask him questions and since he can see now, he needs to back me up and say I did a great job. Trevor, where is he?"

"I don't know." Trevor said. "Hasn't been back here. I still have his dog to prove it."

Charlie would never understand why Sands liked to mess with Trevor by asking his wife to mind Buster but the less she knew, the better. That dynamic was already too weird.

"Oh God, what am I going to do?" She sighed.

_Going a little overboard now._

"Look, it's not your fault he's not here. Carr is upstairs waiting for you with lots of files, go and look things over with her and get ready. I'll explain about Sands."

"Okay, thank you."

"No problem. Good to have you back, Doctor Macintosh."

Charlie smiled. "Let's hope we're hearing that a lot more after today."

* * *

"Doctor Macintosh! It's so good to see you."

Charlie smiled as she sat down at the table. Carr was going to be called in to answer questions seeing as she was present for the entire surgery so Charlie wanted to go over things with her. She had to admit, it felt nice to be called Doctor again. Although Trevor had called her it and seemed glad to see her again, both Armisen and Waitrose relished in calling her 'Miss'. "It's good to see you too, Carr. How have things been without me?"

"Not very well. They still haven't found your replacement so things have been kind of hectic."

"Oh, well that's good to hear. So, how have you been?"

"Uh…Pretty good, I guess."

Charlie frowned at the woman. "You don't sound too sure of that."

"Oh no, I'm good." Carr smiled. "A few little personal things but nothing that's gonna kill me."

"Okay. Should we just get down to business?"

"Sure."

Charlie pulled out some files and opened them on the table. "Okay, you're probably going to get called in to talk about the surgery so I just want to go over what happened, make sure neither of us leave anything out."

"Of course, Doctor Macintosh."

"I think you can probably call me Charlie now, Carr. I'm not your boss anymore."

"Really?"

Charlie frowned. "Yeah."

"Wow, okay."

Charlie smiled a little and shook her head. "Now, since Agent Sands has apparently gone missing, I doubt he'll be called upon so you're going to have to give his results since you did his follow-up exam…What was that?" Charlie frowned when she saw Carr's face sneer for a second.

"What was what?" She asked, going back to normal.

"You just…Did a weird face twitch thing."

"No, I didn't." Carr said quickly.

"Yes, you did. When I mentioned Agent Sands." Charlie saw her try to not show any emotion but her nostrils flared for a second. "Carr, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"No seriously, tell me."

Charlie saw her get more apprehensive. "I'm fine."

"Carr…"

* * *

Coming home took less than a few days. Sands had to be honest, a few hours was too long so when he heard the key in the door, he jumped up and saw Charlie walk in. She didn't seem very joyous and she didn't tell him she was coming back early.

"You're back early." He frowned. "Is that good or bad? How did it go?"

Charlie nodded, not perking up. "They ruled in my favour. I still have my license."

"Well, that's fantastic." Sands said, walking over to her, wondering why she wasn't happier about it. "Aren't you happy?"

"I'm ecstatic." Charlie replied, walking into her bedroom. "On the verge of dancing."

Sands frowned, following her. "Yeah, you seem it. What's going on?"

"Nothing." She put her suitcase on the bed and began unpacking. She had yet to look at him. "But I did make a phone call from the CIA headquarters and pretended to be Waitrose. I called the Malibu police station. They dropped your charge. You can go home now."

Sands closed her opened suitcase on the bed to stop her attention being elsewhere. "What? Why? Am I missing something here?"

Charlie shrugged. "No idea."

"Charlie! When you left, you were all for us and now you're throwing me out?"

"Oh yeah, I changed my mind about that." Charlie said nonchalantly.

"You changed your mind? You changed your fucking mind?"

"That's what I said. Don't worry Sands, I'm sure there'll you find a way to get over it."

"What?" Sands frowned.

"You know, like you did last time. A lot of support."

Sands felt dread fill him up. "Charlie…"

"Yeah, I was talking to Carr. She had some interesting stories about you. She's really pissed." Charlie finally looked up at him. "You're a fucking liar."

"I was drunk. Very, very drunk."

"Oh, well that explains everything. You had sex with my assistant." She fumed. "You had sex with her, let her think it might be something, and then she found out you were screwing every woman you could find behind her back. CIA and random bar sluts. You were very busy when you were apparently regretting what you did and thinking about me. I spoke to Melissa and apparently you did the same thing to her. So much for not caring about Melissa since you met me. Same goes for basically any woman at the CIA who wouldn't say no to some lying, cheating manwhore."

"Look, I didn't think I would ever find you." Sands tried to explain. "I was trying to get past you by forgetting you and it didn't work. I was a fucking moron. Every single woman just made me miss you more."

"What? All three hundred of them?"

"Charlie…"

"Get out, Sands. Please. Get out of my house and get out of this state. I am not falling for your lies anymore. Everything you say is utter bullshit and I am a bigger fool for not believing it once but twice. All that shit about needing to find me because you care about me and you regretted what you did to me, never mind you did it to lots of other women too. Didn't tell me about any of them when you were prattling on about caring about me. God, I am such an idiot."

"No. No, you're not. Charlie, just let me explain…" She said, taking her waist in his hands.

Charlie pushed him away. "No! I am done with you! For good! I am glad I didn't sleep with you again. At least I have that. Get out."

"Charlie…"

"Sands, if you don't get out of my house, I am calling the police and the CIA and telling them where you are. Just…Leave."

Sands looked at her with a frown, not believing this, before turning and leaving the room. When he was gone, Charlie hurried over and locked the door behind him before resting her head against it.

_I am such an idiot._

Sands was having the exact same thoughts.

* * *

**You may find this very hard to believe but Charlie's mother is actually based on a real person and most of what she says are variations of things I've actually heard this person say. Luckily, it's not my own mother! =P Sorry about the long wait. This chapter was a little hard to work since I have a lot planned for the upcoming chapters and had to organise around them! But yeah, Sands is a moron!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	33. Doing The Right Thing

**To GigiMusic: Well it is Sands we're talking about so probably not any time soon. =P Thanks!  
**

**Here's Chapter 33!**

"So Charlie, you haven't been to see me in a while."

Charlie nodded. "I've been a little busy."

"How so?" Doctor Corrigan asked.

Charlie wasn't sure if she should say, mainly out of embarrassment, but then remembered this woman was being paid to listen to her problems. "Sands found me here."

The therapist nodded. "Ah. And what happened?"

"I decided to give him another chance and it…backfired. Again."

"How?"

"Well, that meeting with the medical board was scheduled so I went back to Virginia and when I was there, I found out that he had been sleeping around with a lot of women and I realised I still couldn't trust him. He was always going to lie to me."

"It bothered you enough to end things with him? Even though you weren't together at the time?"

"Yes, it…" Charlie sighed. "It's complicated. He just…He lied. He told me I was the only woman he was thinking about after I left and then…I just, I can't trust him."

"You know, some people do stupid things when they're trying to stop hurting. Did you ever consider that when you gave him another chance, he regretted what he had done? He probably thought you two were over for good when he went off with those other women. Did you give him a chance to explain?"

"Is this a therapy session or an interrogation?"

"A therapy session. Now, answer."

Charlie huffed. "No, I didn't want to hear any excuses he had. He always makes excuses and I always believe them and it makes me a fool over and over again. I just can't listen to him because if I do, he'll know exactly what to say and I'll lower my defences again and he'll hurt me again."

"So, you don't want him to explain because if he does, you think you'll let him in again? Charlie, it sounds like you're in love with him. Are you?"

"No. I don't even let myself consider being in love with him, it's just…I don't let it enter my mind because if I did, I…No. Just no."

"Do you think your inability to really trust men, like you won't with Sands, or to be your true self around them, like you never were with Barry, stems from your relationship with your father?"

"No." Charlie said.

"But…"

"No. He has nothing to do with any aspect of my life."

"Surely, that's not true."

"It's very true. I didn't come here to talk about my father."

"The things you don't want to talk about are usually the things you need to talk about most. What happened between you and your father for you to cut him out of your life?"

"I don't talk about it."

"Obviously, he betrayed you in some way, maybe betrayed your trust…"

"Look, if you're going to keep talking about my father, I can very easily leave because I am not paying the amount of money I am paying you to talk about something I dealt with a long time ago."

"Yes, clearly you're completely over it." Corrigan said sarcastically.

"Enough so that I don't need to talk about it with you."

"Do you always get this defensive when someone mentions your father?"

* * *

"How did therapy go?"

"I quit."

"What?" Rachel frowned. "You quit? Why?"

"She kept talking about things I didn't want to talk about."

"So you gave up? Charlie, that's the point of therapy. You get over your demons."

"I don't have any demons."

"Charlie…"

"Look, I agreed to forgive you and I even agreed that you were right. Don't push it."

Rachel nodded. If it were anyone else, she would have said fine and stormed out for being berated while trying to be nice but Charlie had always been like this. She hated admitting she was wrong and she had no problem being bitter with the person, even when they were on good terms. Another thing Charlie hated was anyone weighing in on her life. She didn't even like an opinion on an outfit. Telling her if she did or didn't need to go to therapy was a risk and it wasn't really that much of a surprise that she only could put up with someone sitting in a chair and weighing in on her problems for so long.

"I'm going to go for a shower." Charlie said with a sigh when Rachel didn't speak anymore. She left the kitchen and went to the bathroom, mainly just for some peace. She had called Rachel to talk; deciding she didn't want to lose her sister as well but there was only so much being reminded she was wrong that Charlie could take. It was for this reason that when she was finished showering and dressed, she was horrified to hear her mother's voice.

"I can't believe it. I always thought Charlotte was so much stronger than to let herself get into that situation. I mean, she's so smart. How could she possibly have fallen for a man who was practically mentally abusing her? She should have stayed with Barry. He was always so good to her."

"I know. It's so hard to believe she might have left him for that man. What was she thinking?"

"She obviously wasn't."

Charlie sat down and listened from the top of the stairs, feeling like a child again. Her mother and sister kept going on about how she was a fool to let Barry go for Sand but they had no clue. Barry had been the emotionally abusive one; Barry had never been good to her. One of the best decisions of Charlie's life was breaking up with him and she knew that simply because she didn't feel one tenth of the pain she was feeling right now when she left Barry. He just hadn't meant that much to her anymore.

But Sands?

This felt a million times worse and Charlie hated it. Mainly because her relationship with Sands had been new and fresh, there were obviously still feelings there, unlike the nothingness she had felt when things with Barry ended. So in a way, this was Charlie's first real emotional break up. It was not something she ever wanted to repeat in her life. Deciding that she wasn't going to let her mother and sister gossip about her while she sat around and felt sorry for herself, Charlie stood up and walked down into the kitchen. The two turned to look at her with sympathy. Well Rachel did. Gwen wasn't good at emotion, not even showing it, unless that emotion was judgement.

"Hey sweetie," Rachel said. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." Charlie said. "It's a break-up. I'll get over it."

"Of course you will. You're much better off without him."

"Can you please stop talking about it? It's a little hard to get over it when I'm constantly reminded of the big mistake I made."

"Yes, I'm sorry." Rachel said. "Anything you want."

"Thank you."

"Say, how about we go shopping and out to lunch tomorrow?" She suggested. "Get out of the house for a while."

Charlie was going to snap if she was treated with pity anymore so to shut Rachel up, she nodded. "Sounds good. Now, I'm going to bed so you can both…" She pointed with her thumb to the door.

"Are you sure?" Rachel asked as Gwen went to leave, only to be pulled back by her eldest daughter. "You don't want someone to stay with you?"

"I'm fine." Charlie said. "Please get out of my house."

Rachel and Gwen left and Charlie was left in the big, empty house.

_I never used to mind that it was empty._

* * *

"Go serve the customer at table three."

Gordon frowned as his co-worker, also a waiter, gave him an order. "Why can't you do it?"

"Trust me; you're going to want to see this guy."

Gordon went outside onto the decking, mainly out of curiosity and went to table three.

"Would you like to order?" Gordon asked.

The menu came down and he stopped talking. Sitting there was a man in an unmistakeable fake moustache. Like really bad, fake moustache.

The man smiled. "Puerco Pibil and tequila and lime."

Gordon nodded and left, the people you could meet at this job.

Sands hadn't left Malibu. Sands hadn't stopped trying to get in touch with Charlie. He'd just failed a lot at it. So when he was driving by and saw her sitting outside a restaurant, alone, he found a parking space, whipped on his trusty fake moustache (always kept in the glove compartment in case of emergencies) and snuck in to sit down, a few tables behind her own. He didn't know what she was doing here but if he went over, he had a feeling she'd run so this was more of a scope out before he full on stalked her.

Sands took notice when he heard her cell phone ring and she picked it up. "Hello? Yes, this is Charlotte Macintosh. Oh, hello." The other people seemed to speak for a long while. "Wow, this is…This is quite sudden. I…Can I have some time to think about it? Of course. Thank you very much. I'll get in touch before the day is out."

She hung up her phone and Sands' curiosity was peaking. Who was that and what did she need to think about? He put his menu up quickly when Rachel and Gwen came up to meet her.

"You'll never guess who just called me." Charlie said excitedly.

"Who?" Rachel asked.

"The chief of surgery of Sacred Heart Medical. In New York. He just offered me a job."

Sands nearly choked on his water but covered his face with the menu quickly to avoid being spotted.

"New York?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah." Charlie said. "Apparently, they've been interested in me for quite a while and now that I'm available and still licensed to work, they want me. Badly. Can you imagine it? New York!"

"Well, I think that's great, honey." Gwen said, patting her hand. "If you're going to do a gooey and disgusting job, at least do it in a place with style."

"Yeah, thanks." Charlie said.

"What did you say?" Rachel said.

"I said I'd think about it but that's a load of bull. The hospital is one of the best in the country, most of the country's top surgeons work there."

"Hence why they want you." Rachel nodded.

"I'm going to call him back in about an hour and tell him I'm going to take it."

"Are you sure? This seems awfully quick, Charlie."

"Charlotte." Gwen corrected.

It seemed when Gwen was around, it was easier to call Charlie by her full name to avoid correction. That was a lesson Sands wasn't going to learn. Mainly because he had no doubt that Charlie hated her full name, most likely because whenever it was used, it was just tacked onto a reprimand. Apparently Gwen's opinion was that most of the things Charlie did or said was something people didn't like.

_No wonder she had insecurity issues._

Rachel ignored her mother too. "Your wrist…"

"Look, I've done the rehab, I've finished the rehab. I'm cleared."

"What about your therapy?" Gwen asked.

Sands frowned. _Therapy? What therapy?_

"I'm not going back. I don't think therapy is really for me." Charlie shrugged.

"As long as you keep popping those Zoloft?" Gwen asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Were you looking through my medicine cabinet?"

"A mother worries."

"A mother looks for prescription drugs." Charlie huffed but wouldn't let her mother ruin her good mood. "Rachel, please be supportive. This is the best thing to happen to me in so long."

_Ouch, sugar._

Rachel sighed. "If this is what you want, I'm behind you. It's just…You just got here and now you're leaving again."

"I'll come visit more, I promise."

"Well then, future injured New Yorkers are very lucky."

Charlie smiled. The first genuine smile in a long time.

"I'm taking you out tonight to celebrate." Rachel said. "A new job and a new start."

The last thing Sands wanted to hear. Charlie having a new start.

One where he could in no way be involved.

* * *

"When you said out to celebrate, I was expecting something I'd actually enjoy." Charlie grimaced around the club with people gyrating against each other, mainly strangers, to loud music. "I don't want to be here."

"You want to go out and have fun, this is fun."

"This isn't my kind of fun." Charlie looked at her sister tiredly. "I can't even hear myself think with all this thumping."

"It's called music."

"By who?"

"Just try to enjoy yourself and God forbid, meet some people."

Charlie huffed and went to the bar. She'd definitely need to have a drink if she was staying here.

One drink didn't improve the atmosphere. Two drinks didn't do it either. Charlie walked back to the bar hoping the third drink would be the charm.

She was waiting for the bartender to serve her when a man approached her. "Can I get you a drink?"

Charlie was about to decline but someone else did it for her.

"No, I already got it."

Charlie turned to see Sands holding up a new drink for her with a smirk. "Why aren't you in Virginia?"

"I'm not done here."

"Looking for more women to screw over?"

Sands didn't reply.

Charlie huffed. "How did you know I was here?"

"I have my ways." He said. "Gonna take it?"

"Is it poisoned?"

"Would I do that?"

"Yes."

Sands looked at her with a sincere expression, undoubtedly the hardest emotion for Sands to portray. "Charlie…"

Despite her attitude, Charlie took the drink. If she needed it before, she definitely needed it now. "Okay, why are you here?"

Sands chuckled. "I think the better question is why are you here? I didn't see you being into clubs."

"Believe me, I'm not. I got dragged here."

"Want to leave?"

Charlie looked down at her drink. "No."

"I thought you didn't like it here?"

"I don't but I'm not going home with you."

Sands looked her over. He didn't know if it was case of absence making the heart grow fonder or the effort she put in but she looked amazing. "You look good, sugar."

"Hmm, you'd be amazed what removing a giant stress factor from your life can do for your complexion. With that in mind, I'm going to go find my sister and leave you here to realise there's nothing stopping you from going back to Virginia."

Charlie walked away and found Rachel but Sands stayed in the club anyway.

_Maybe I could get her drunk again._

_No, you love her now. You can't do things like that anymore._

_I can totally still do things like that._

_And she'll hate you forever._

_Because she's loving me now._

Sands huffed. _Maybe I should just go back to Virginia. Give up._

_I don't give up. Not on anything._

_Yeah well, I've never been in love either. _

Sands walked back to the bar and wondered what to do. He could go back to Virginia, find the person who was trying to kill him and kill them first and forget all about Charlie. Although he'd tried that before and it hadn't worked. It just made him miserable and eventually, obsessive. And if he did leave now, wouldn't it just prove her right? That he didn't care as much for her as he actually did? Going back to Virginia just confirmed everything she had said. Sands kept thinking that maybe he should just let her think that way and move on, realise he has screwed up too much but then he remembered how close he was to getting her back and that meant she felt for him and that didn't just disappear. He could make things right again if he stuck it out.

"Are you still here?"

Sands looked over to see Charlie standing at the bar again, getting another drink.

"You're knocking those back, sugar."

"Yeah well, being here and the people I'm surrounded by, alcohol seems to be my only saviour."

"Where's the meddler?"

"She's over talking to some friends from work."

"So she wouldn't notice if you went missing for a while?"

Charlie glared at him.

"Just give me twenty minutes and I'll leave for Virginia tonight. I'm not drinking, I can drive. You won't see me anymore." It was true, Sands wasn't drinking anything alcoholic because it meant her defences would go down while his would stay right where they were.

"I gave you plenty of time, Sands. I don't want to give you anymore."

"Charlie, twenty minutes and you never have to give me another minute."

"I don't have to give you another minute right now."

Sands didn't want to do this but whatever it took. "You don't hear me out and I tell the CIA the truth about us."

Charlie looked at him quickly. "What?"

"I'll tell them we slept together. A lot."

Charlie shook her head. "Do what you want. It's you that'll bear the brunt of that, not me. I don't work there anymore."

"Yeah but they expect that kind of thing from me, you think any hospital is going to want to hire you when they hear that you like to have sex with your patients?"

"You son of a…"

"Twenty minutes."

Charlie glared at him. "Fine. Say what you want to say and get out of my life."

"Well then, let's get out of..."

"Can I get another one of these?" Charlie asked the bartender, holding up her now empty glass.

"Charlie!"

Charlie looked at him. "If I have to try and listen to you in here, I'll need another drink."

"Then let's get out of here."

"No, you talk to me here, I go back to my sister and you leave when it's done or I don't talk to you at all." The bartender placed another drink in front of her. "Thank you."

"I'll get it." Sands said, throwing the money at the bartender, annoyed. He could finally get attention.

The bartender walked away and Charlie shook her head. "Charming as always."

"I came here to talk to you, not deal with a drink order."

"What is it with you?" Charlie asked. "You're supposed to be calm and collected all the time, it's an agent's job, and yet you…"

"Hey, as an agent I am cool and collected, it's the non-agent part I have the problem with."

"But why? I mean, why are you so horrible to people when…"

"You are not one to judge. I've heard the way you speak to the people who worked for you. You're not some little wallflower. Most people call you a bitch."

"We're not talking about me. We're…"

"Deflecting, that's another thing you're good at." Sands said. "You never want to deal with anything and that means you won't give me a chance to explain…"

"I have given you plenty of chances. I can only do it so much."

She began to walk away but Sands caught her arm.

"Sands!"

"You just did it again! You don't want to hear what I have to say so you twisted the conversation to anything but what happened between us just so I'd get angry and you'd find an excuse to leave. That smartness of yours is turning into some kind of evil superpower."

"No, there just is no us, Sands! There can't be. We've tried and it doesn't work."

"You wouldn't let it!"

"Me? This is my fault?"

"No, I didn't mean…Yes, actually. It is."

Charlie was shocked. "How?"

"You let what happened in Virginia get in the way!"

"You mean you sleeping with a load of other women?"

"Hey, we weren't together. You could have been slipping it to guys out here and I wouldn't be able to say anything."

"Oh, really?" Charlie asked. "You wouldn't have minded if you found out that night after night I was with a different man?"

"I…No." Sands said, not convincingly.

"Wow, that's mature. Any other guy would go crazy at the thought of the woman he apparently cares about going to bed with guy after guy, doing everything with them that he wants her to do with just him, letting someone else take off her clothes, spending the night writhing around in bed, kissing and touching and…"

"Alright!" Sands said angrily. "Shut up."

Charlie nodded. "Isn't so easy to take in, is it? And that's just the thought of it."

"I never wanted you to find out."

"Much better."

"Because I regret what happened, not because I thought I was getting a sweet deal."

"Well, it just goes to show, you should have stayed in Virginia. No one would regret anything."

"You know that's not true! Charlie, I'm still here. Obviously that's for a reason. You can't believe that I don't want you."

"I believe what I've always believed, Sands. You want me but just not enough to give up being a dick. You want control more than you want me. You tried getting it when you ended things but I got up and moved on so you tried getting it by seeing me but that didn't work out and now you're trying to get it back after I threw you out. I've just come to realise that being some twisted version of yourself that fucks anything with breasts and tricks people into doing what you want is more important than being someone who could really be with me." Sands was about to reply but Charlie cut him off. "Don't deny it. You're the one who takes pride in being seen as a sociopath, be happy that I can finally see you as one." She sighed. "This was a mistake. Just like I knew it would be. Goodbye."

Charlie left the bar and walked away from Sands.

"Charlotte? Charlotte Macintosh?"

Charlie looked over where she heard her name being called and Sands was surprised when she rushed back over to him. "There's a diner down the street."

"What?" Sands frowned.

"Just play along with this and I promise when it's over, we'll go there and I'll let you say whatever you want."

"What is this…?"

"It is you!" Sands frowned when a man came up to Charlie and she in turn linked his arm. "Charlotte Macintosh, as I live and breathe. I almost didn't recognise you. Wow, you've…changed."

Sands raised an eyebrow when this guy looked her over.

"Randall, hi." Charlie said, faking a smile. "It's been so long. Oh, how rude of me. Sands," She gave him a look that told him to behave. "This is Randall Evans; we were in med school together. Randall, this is my…friend…Sands."

_Even if she did have to choke it out, friend is better than nothing._

"Randall, hi." Sands said pleasantly, mainly because this guy obviously hadn't predicted Charlie being here with a guy and didn't look too interested in Sands. "So you and Charlie went to med school together? That must have been interesting."

"Was it ever. This gigantic brain was definitely something to witness." He said, pointing at Charlie. "I mean, how could she not be? Years younger and highest in the class. Everyone hated her. All grown up now though."

"Hmmm, well it was great to see you again but we were just leaving." Charlie said. "Bye, Randall."

She dragged Sands away quickly and let go of him as soon as she could to go back to the bar where she downed her current glass and raised it to the bartender. "That was awful." Charlie waited for Sands to reply but when he didn't, she realised he wasn't next to her. "Sands?"

She looked around and groaned when she saw Sands had gone back and was in deep conversation with Randall.

_Why is he doing this to me?_

Charlie tried to catch his eye to signal him away but to no avail. She considered going over there but then that would result in being oogled by that moron. And for once, the moron wasn't Sands.

"Here you go, miss."

Charlie turned back when the bartender placed a new drink in front of her. "Thanks."

She began drinking it, no longer caring about what Sands did or what Randall said.

"Seriously Mac, slow down."

Charlie placed the drink down when Sands came back. "Have a nice catch up?"

"The guy may be a douchebag but he sure is informative."

"What did you learn?"

"That you weren't that much younger than everyone else but young enough, your professors hated you because you never shut up, students hated you for the same reason, you never really tried to talk to anyone because of the age difference, you lost a lot of puppy fat, look good as a blonde and Randall wishes you had stuck around Malibu just so he could watch you mature like the perv he is." Charlie frowned at him. "Well, he didn't say that but it wasn't hard to figure out. Yeah, I went with gay roommate again instead of boyfriend."

"Thanks very much, Sands." She said sarcastically. "You really know how to come through for people."

"What? No harm done. The guy is an asshole but not one you have to deal with all the time."

"No, you firmly hold that title."

"I also told him that you have a boyfriend that's in the CIA so he shouldn't come anywhere near you again if he doesn't want his balls trapped in a vice."

Despite her indignation, Charlie had to at least chuckle at the thought. "Someone should have done that in med school. As I recall, he screwed over as many women as…" She indicated towards Sands.  
"Any chance hearing about me being some chubby, awkward, annoying to the point where I'm not even able to be a teacher's pet, kind of person might make you want to go home and leave me?"

"Nope."

"Of course not. And with those embarrassing titbits out of the way, I'm going to go to the bathroom."

She got up but stumbled and Sands had to catch her.

"I'm fine, I just slipped."

"I told you to take it easy. You know what happens when you drink too much; don't want some random guy trying to take you home. Or worse, Randall. You're lucky I'm here."

"Absolutely blessed. You can let me go now." Charlie had to admit, she did feel tipsy by now.

"Ah," Sands stopped her from leaving his arms. "Just so that dick doesn't follow you."

Sands leaned over and kiss her. When he pulled away, Charlie looked up at him. "I thought you were gay?"

"What can I say? You're just that good."

"Don't do that again."

"You could have pulled away." Sands smirked. "You didn't."

"It's a little hard when you won't let me go."

"But not impossible. First and second time might have gone wrong but third time's the charm, Mac. Is tonight my night?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'll be right back."

She walked away and felt both indignant and slightly in control when she realised that Sands watched her go. The fact that she had him begging was slightly enjoyable, just because she knew nothing would come of it. He was, in a way, in the position she had been in before. It was a nice bit of karma that he wanted her and she had left him.

_He wants me and I'm in control. _

Charlie smirked before she reapplied her lip gloss and with more confidence than she'd had in weeks, walked back outside. She walked through the crowd but stopped when she saw another woman sitting where she had been and flirting with a very pleased looking Sands.

_Really, you were a fool not to see this one coming._

_Control? Karma?_

_I am such an idiot._

Charlie, instead of going over and acting like some jealous, possessive, crazy person which she knew Sands would see, no matter how calmly she handled the situation, decided to just turn around and leave. She got her coat from coat-check and left the bar. She was walking down the street when she heard her name being called behind her.

"Charlie, where the hell are you going?"

"Home." Charlie called, not looking back.

Sands caught up to her and grabbed her arm, turning her to make her look at him. "Why? I thought we were finally getting somewhere?"

"Got tired." Charlie shrugged.

"What?"

"Well, I didn't feel much like standing and my seat was taken."

_Shit, stop sounding jealous and bitter. You need to sound like you don't care._

_Which you don't._

Sands realised but rather than looking smug like Charlie thought he would, he looked confused. "That woman? The only reason she was sitting there was because a few seconds before, it was obvious she couldn't walk. She was smashed."

"Oh, how nice for you. Your perfect target." Charlie turned and began walking away from him again.

"Charlie, stop." Sands made her look at him again. "You're getting everything mixed up."

"Sands, it's fine. I don't care. I just really don't feel like standing around while you chat up women. Really, go back inside and do what you want. Oh, I better ask now though. You gave me back my spare key, right? I don't want to wake up in the morning with some skank in my kitchen."

"Just so you know, not only do you sound jealous, you also sound like a moron."

"Well, go back to the rocket scientist in there and don't waste your time with me."

"What is the matter with you? First you don't want me then you're acting all flirty with me and then you don't want to bother?"

"Confusing when it's you that's it's happening to, isn't it?" Charlie bit back.

Sands looked at her, stone-faced. "Let's just go back to the house, shall we? To talk."

"Well, that's where I'm going. You can do what you like."

"Charlie, come on." Sands huffed. "This is the one time I can say I didn't do anything wrong!"

Charlie wasn't so much annoyed by the fact that he had been talking to that woman but by the fact that she had initially been annoyed when she saw it happening. She shouldn't have been. She had worked very hard to get over being in a position where she might be annoyed by something he did. Yet here she was, storming out and arguing in the street about something that really didn't mean anything. If it had been a few months ago when Sands and her hadn't slept together yet but he was trying for it and she wanted it, she wouldn't have made this much of a deal of him talking to another woman at all. Now that she was telling him she didn't want to be with him and whatever they had was over, she was being irrational.

She sighed. "I'm sorry."

Sands was surprised at that. "You are?"

"Yeah, I'm acting stupid."

"Right, because…"

"Because it has nothing to do with me and I'm making it about me. Do what you want. Really. Don't worry about me. I shouldn't come into it."

Instead of making Sands feel better like she thought it would, he looked at her angrily. "Well you know what, Mac? I can't do what I want unless I involve you so I'm kinda fucked right now, don't you think?" Sands frowned when Charlie closed her eyes and put her hand to her head. He noticed she was swaying slightly. "Charlie? Are you drunk?"

Charlie didn't reply and Sands had to catch her arms when she lost her balance for the second time that night.

"Charlie?"

"I need to go home." She said weakly. "Need to go to bed…"

"Okay." Sands wrapped an arm around her and looked around for a cab. "I'll get you home." What happened? She seemed fine a minute ago. Tipsy, if anything, but not fall over drunk like she seemed now. Sands didn't even think she'd drank that much. A few drinks but nothing that should have constituted this. And not so quickly either.

_What was she drinking? Absinthe?_

"I don't feel very good…" She groaned. "Everything's blurry."

Sands frowned down at her. "Charlie, was anyone near your drink?"

"I don't…I want to go home."

"Charlie, look at me." Sands said, lifting her head so he could see her eyes. She didn't look good at all. When he let her head fall, her whole body seemed to go too. "Okay, I'm taking you to a hospital."

"No, I want to go home. I need…"

Sands had to catch her with both hands when she went unconscious.

* * *

"Can you hear me?"

Charlie left out a little groan.

"Alright, Mac, can you tell me your full name?"

Charlie frowned with her eyes closed. All she really heard was Mac. "Sands?"

"Mac Sands?"

Charlie finally opened her eyes and saw a doctor, not Sands. "What?"

"Is that your name?"

"Wha…No. No." Charlie shook her head.

"Alright, can you tell me your full name?"

Charlie was about to reply but something stopped her. That doctor said Mac. How did he know that but not her actual name? There was only one person in the world who called her Mac. And there had to be a reason he used that nickname as opposed to her real name.

"Mac?" The doctor prompted. "Are you alright?"

"No," Charlie said, hoping to find out more. "What happened? Why am I here?"

"You were brought in after overdosing on Ketamine." The doctor explained. "Do you remember taking that, Mac?"

Ketamine? Charlie knew what ketamine was, it was a veterinary drug. What was it doing causing her to overdose? She knew it was taken in clubs as a party drug but she hadn't taken any. Charlie had definitely not done that. She had been talking to Sands and then everything went blank. "What are you talking about?"

"Luckily, a man who was also in the bar noticed your disorientation and had the right idea to bring you here. Unfortunately the only thing you said before you passed out completely, he managed to get your name. Mac. Can you tell me the rest?"

So Sands had brought her here, fed them this weird story and left them with only the name Mac.

"Uh, Mackenzie." She thought up on the spot. She didn't know why Sands hadn't given her real name but the last time he brought her to a hospital, he had a good reason for her to give a fake name so she was just depending on that again. "That's my name."

"Alright Mackenzie, you got a last name?"

"Charles." She figured if her last name was going to be altered for her first name, her first named could be altered for her last. "Where is the man who brought me here?"

"He left shortly after you were admitted. Unfortunately we never got a name."

"Oh." Charlie nodded. "Okay. Uh, I'm still a little confused."

"Mackenzie, did you take the Ketamine yourself?"

Charlie didn't. She didn't know where they got this conclusion from. "How do you even know that's what happened?"

"Well Ketamine, when taken in high doses, especially with alcohol, can dangerously suppress breathing and heart function and can lead to unconsciousness which is what happened to you. Not to mention we pumped enough of it out of your stomach to figure things out."

Charlie was in shock. Someone must have drugged her. But who? And how? Sands had been getting her drinks all night and Sands may have been willing to do a lot of things but she knew that wasn't one of them, not to her anyway, and she hadn't left her drink unattended. She never would. She knew the risks which had apparently happened anyway.

"Did this guy come back at all?"

The doctor shook his head. "Said he was only in Malibu for the weekend and needed to go back to Virginia for work. His work here was done."

The doctor left soon after and Charlie's mind, though groggy, was racing.

_He went back to Virginia after this? After everything he could have left after, it's this?_

_Would he do that?_

Charlie was forced to stay in the hospital for a few days and had to be content with calling Rachel in private and making up a quick lie about having to leave the club and indeed, the state when she got another call from New York. She had to lie because she'd given the hospital a fake name, foolishly trusting whatever Sands had done. Going back on it now would have made her seem like a way bigger drug addict, trying not to get caught. When she was finally allowed go home, Charlie wasted no time in getting out of there. She was in the middle of dialling Rachel's number to tell her she was home when there was a frantic knocking on her door.

Charlie rushed over and answered. Her eyes widened when she saw Sands bolt into her apartment.

"Wha…What are you doing here?" She asked. "I thought you went back to Virginia?"

Sands was moving around the place quickly. He had a job to do. "I did but you're the only one who knows it. To the CIA, I never left Malibu. But you did. You need to leave."

Charlie was a little shocked. "What?"

Charlie frowned at Sands took the glass of water she had been drinking out of her hand and threw the liquid down the sink before shoving the glass in a cabinet. He then started running around, turning off all her electrical appliances.

"Sands, what are you doing?"

"You can't make it look like you left in a hurry. That's why I waited for you to come home instead of sneaking you out of the hospital. The place has to seem like it's been empty for hours or days and that you locked up properly or they'll know you're not far."

"Who?"

Sands ran into her bedroom and into her closet, pulling out a bag and clothes and packing them quickly.

"What is going on?" Charlie asked.

"Remember the person who deleted Trevor's messages? The person we thought was after me?"

Charlie frowned. "Yeah?"

"They're after you."

"What?"

"I don't have time to explain, sugar." Sands said, rifling through her drawers. "Where the fuck is your passport?"

Charlie opened her bedside locker and took it out. Sands grabbed it and threw it into the bag. "Come on."

"No, wait! Sands!" Charlie stopped him. "What do you mean?"

Sands didn't have time to get into this but realised she wouldn't budge until he did. "The overdose. Charlie, I was watching you all night and they may still be new but I have a pretty sharp eye and I didn't see anything. This wasn't some guy just trying to get you loose and dreary for a good time…You weren't just drugged. Someone slipped you an overdose and in a way that you still couldn't detect the drug in your drink. They did that and neither you or I noticed. Then I realised something. There's one person you never take notice of handling your drink. Because it's their job."

Charlie realised. "The bartender."

"Someone had him planted there to slip you the drug, the same way someone paid Hobbs to get rid of me."

"They're trying to kill both of us?"

"That's what I thought until I remembered I was drinking in the club too, not alcohol but I still was ordering. No one slipped me anything. Think about it. We put down the deleted messages to someone wanting to kill me and you were just expendable but what if it was the other way around? You were the target and I was just included? The minute you left Virginia, my life didn't seem to be in danger anymore but you're here and yours still is. That's not a coincidence, Charlie."

"But Hobbs…"

"I thought about that too but who did we say killed Lupe?"

"You."

"While?"

"While she was going to kill me." Charlie said. "We switched places."

"It isn't easy to kill someone who has a CIA agent proving he's willing to kill to protect her. If he can manage it blind, what could he do with his sight?"

"So you were nearly killed…To get you out of the way so killing me would be easier?"

"Like with those messages, I'm apparently expendable. But I have my sight, I've figured it out and I'm still here to protect you."

"How?"

"By getting you out of here."

* * *

"Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you to the airport," Sands said as they sped through the city. "You're going to hop on a plane to somewhere safe and not tell anyone where."

Charlie frowned. "You're not coming with me?"

"No."

"But…"

"I can't go with you. I need to stay here so when you're gone and I'm not, people won't suspect that I know they're after you and won't try to use me to find you. When the coast is clear, I'll come find you and make sure you're safe."

"I can't just fly off somewhere."

"You have to."

"But this is insane! It's all just assumptions."

"It's not."

"You don't know anyone wants to hurt me. Just because of what happened that night…"

"Look in the glove compartment."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"Just look."

Charlie opened the compartment and found a brown file in there. "What's this?"

"What I had to go back to Virginia for, to confirm my suspicions. It's your file."

"My file?" Charlie took it out. "My record at the CIA? Why would…?"

She stopped when she opened it and realised it wasn't her normal file, the one everyone had. It documented very strange things, her movements, her appointments, even some of her home phone calls were on here. Just stupid little conversations with Rachel, her conversation with Dick to get him and her mother back together. Luckily, Sands had always called her cell phone. There was even the New York information in here. It was all here. Proof that the CIA was watching her and were plotting against her.

"You have one of those." Sands said. "I don't. It's not me they're after."

"Sands…"

"It's why you couldn't use your real name in the hospital. No one could know where you were. That's why you're leaving."

"But…"

"Charlie," Sands looked at her. "You don't have a choice. There is someone from the CIA after you. They're good at killing people. Luckily for you, I'm better at it. Hopefully, I can find this person and get rid of them before your safety becomes an issue again."

Charlie had to ask. "Why are you helping me like this?"

Sands didn't reply. He just kept looking out at the road ahead.

_Because I'm in love with you._

* * *

"Where should I go?"

They were parked outside the airport now and Charlie was still too shocked to move.

"Don't tell me. Just pick a flight at random and get on it. I don't even want to know if you're staying in the country."

"But, how will you find me?"

Sands smirked. "I'm a CIA agent, Mac. It's part of my job."

"And you will come find me? Once, they realise I'm gone, they'll come looking for me, Sands, and I'm not an agent. I can't outrun them without your help."

"Charlie, trust me."

Considering their history, that's the last thing Charlie should have been doing but the look in his eyes, Charlie found it hard to look away from. For one reason.

She finally realised everything.

The CIA wasn't the most important thing in his life. Being the best at being the worst didn't mean everything to him. He wouldn't be risking his career and indeed his life for just anyone.

In that second, Charlie finally realised what Sands had wanted her to know all along.

And it was too late.

"Go." Sands said.

Charlie grabbed her bag and went to get out of the car.

"Wait." Sands said, stopping her.

Charlie turned. "What?"

Sands seemed to be debating with himself for a second before leaning over and kissing her passionately. Charlie didn't pull away and didn't berate him like normal for the kiss because even though it was completely opportunistic, just a spur of the moment action, it was the kiss she had waited the longest to get from him. It meant a lot more than just doing it because he got the chance to.

"Now, go." Sands said when they parted. "Be on a plane in an hour at the latest. They realise you're gone and the CIA could have this airport shut down in ten minutes."

"But the entire CIA isn't after me surely?"

"I don't know who is so I'm acting as if it's the most powerful person there. Just in case it is. Go. And stay safe."

"Do you promise you'll find me?"

Sands looked at her. She'd be a fool if she wasn't scared. And she definitely wasn't a fool. "Charlie, I promise. You need to go."

Charlie looked at him for a few seconds before getting out of the car. She walked into the airport and Sands kept an eye on her. He saw her stop and turn and their eyes met for a few seconds before she turned back and kept walking into a crowd and disappeared.

Sands huffed.

_Being the good guy sucks._

* * *

**Oh, it's all very tense. Sorry about the late update. This chapter took a lot of work!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!  
**


	34. Separate Bedrooms

**To GigiMusic: Thank you!**

**Here's Chapter 34!**

"Excuse me, I'm with a patient."

Sands huffed and looked down at the man sitting in the chair reserved for Doctor Corrigan's patients. He handed him a wad of money. "Here, buy yourself a hooker. They're cheaper, they listen if you pay them too and you'll have more fun."

"Excuse me sir," Corrigan said angrily. "You cannot just burst in here and interrupt a session and insult me and a patient. I'm calling security."

Sands rolled his eyes, knowing this would probably work if he knew Charlie. "I'm Sheldon Sands."

"Sands?" Corrigan frowned.

Sands nodded.

Corrigan looked at her patient. "Paul, can you wait out in the hall for a few minutes?"

"But Doctor…"

"She said now, Paul." Sands cut him off.

"No, she didn't."

"Get out before I throw you out, Paul."

The man got up and left the room in a hurry and Sands took his place.

"I've heard a lot about you, Mister Sands."

"Bad things, I hope. Well, I suspect."

"You'd be right."

Sands suspected as much but still felt kind of dejected when Corrigan admitted it. "Thought so. Well, are you going to give me some specifics?"

"No, Mister Sands. Anything Charlotte told…"

"Charlie."

"Anything Charlie told me is confidential." Corrigan said.

"But it's about me."

"Doesn't matter."

"You let me stay in here, you kicked out a patient, obviously you're interested in telling me something."

"Or having you tell me some things."

"That's not why I'm here. I want to find out what Charlie said in here, everything she told you."

"I can't possibly…"

Sands pulled out his wallet and threw more money onto the table. Corrigan looked down at it for a second, counting it.

"What do you want to know?"

"What she said."

"A lot of things." Corrigan shrugged.

"Be specific."

"Everything you two did up until she left you after finding out you were sleeping with other women."

"When she wasn't even in the state." Sands defended himself.

"It upset her anyway."

"I noticed."

"But you still want to be with her." Corrigan surmised.

"Do I?"

"I think so."

Sands nodded. "But should I try and be with her?"

"I would strongly advise against it."

Sands frowned. "Why?"

"While I admit, that in a way, you were very good for Charlie's self-esteem in that you taught her to stand up for herself; you're the last thing she needs in terms of a partner. Charlie has spent her entire life being told by her mother what to do, what to wear, who to be and she's never met her mother's expectations. And then there's her father…"

Sands grew curious. "What has she said about her father?"

"Nothing. When I tried to bring him up, she ended our sessions. I do know that her problems with her father have had a huge impact on the way she lets men threat her. She craves for their approval and as such, lets men walk all over her."

"Like with her ex."

"And with you." Corrigan said and Sands frowned. "Oh yes, Mister Sands, you were just as bad as Barry though in different ways. Barry treated her like he owned her and as such, ignored her when he didn't need her. You walked all over her, knowing she'd let you while simultaneously trying to make her believe she was making her own decisions. You exploited every one of her weaknesses to use against her so you could get what you wanted from her and then you dropped her. You were calculating and in a way, that's much worse than Barry."

"Hey, I was not as bad as that asshole. I never tried to force myself on her."

"Did you not? You might not have done it with your hands but you knew her weaknesses and you used it to get into her head and lower her defences. Charlie's weakness is men and a need for approval which she's never really gotten while at the same time never being able to trust anyone but herself and she can't even do that sometimes. It's what makes her so adamant to be a dominant presence at work, because she feels so insignificant in her own life."

"Why did she need you? I've told her all this shit already."

"But you didn't tell her any of that to help her. You made it obvious you were belittling her to beat down her defences, not to help build her self-esteem."

"Lady, you're going on like I've been the one sitting on this couch. You have no idea why I did any of what I did."

"Oh, yes I do. I know why you did certain things. As for what you're doing right now, that's a little more confusing."

"What do you mean?"

"Coming here to find her. I was convinced you were just using her but now you're here, in Malibu. You're here talking to me. I'm beginning to think you actually might just care more about her than you let on."

Sands didn't answer.

"You love her."

He was silent for a second. "Does she love me back?"

It was the first time he'd said it out loud, let alone actually told anyone. It felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders but a much heavier one had been placed there because now he'd said it, he couldn't take it back. Now it was real.

"No."

And it just got that much harder.

"What do you mean no?" Sands frowned. "She's obviously not told you everything if you think…"

"She told me she doesn't." Corrigan cut him off. "What else does she need to tell me? I've asked her, more than once and she's said no. Every time. You see, Mister Sands, I've sat here and listened to many men like you and many women talk about men like you."

"Like me?"

"Men who only want what they can't have and ruin what they do have. It's the classic case of a man hurting a woman and when she tries to leave, he tells her it won't happen again, he loves her. Possession."

"You make it sound like I was smacking her around."

"No but just because it doesn't happen with your fists doesn't mean it's not effective. What Charlie needs is a stable structure where she can build and grow. With your lifestyle and your own problems that earn you a place on that couch even if you won't acknowledge it, do you think you're the best person for her?"

Sands didn't only have to include what Corrigan had said; he had to also add in the present circumstances with her being on the run and the CIA looking for her.

Sands stood up and left the office.

* * *

"Here you go, miss."

Charlie gave a subdued smile at the busboy who was delivered her food. "Thank you."

She tipped him and he walked away and Charlie closed the door quickly. She hadn't left her latest hotel room in days and to be honest, she'd been too scared to. Mainly because she was being watched.

At first she felt she was just paranoid, getting nervous over tourists taking photos but after a while, she felt like she was being watched. She would be walking down a street and realise she was being followed. She would go into a store to get away but when she'd come back out a few minutes later, the same person would appear after a few steps. It'd gotten her so rattled, she just stopped leaving the hotel room and had food sent up to her. It didn't stop her fear though so she'd made a decision.

She was going to have to leave the country. Tonight.

* * *

"Miss me?"

"Sit down."

Sands frowned at Trevor's stern tone. He knew he was going to get into shit when he got back but he thought Trevor would just do the usual tired of him routine. He sounded like he wanted him dead at the moment. "Alright, dad. Don't hit me, dad."

"Shut up, Sands. I have given you every chance and you've continued to throw them all in my face. Not anymore. I'm not going to fight your corner anymore. If you do something that is not in line with this agency, I will be the one to fire you. You're not getting anymore second chances."

Sands was confused. "Where is all this coming from?"

"Let's see, Mexico, Mexico again, Macintosh, Malibu and…What else? You didn't think you'd be getting off scot-free after all that, did you? Oh no Sands, we've been planning your punishment for the stunt you pulled in Mexico for a long time, just waiting until you got your eyes back. Things are going to change. And you definitely didn't help yourself involving Macintosh."

For all the world, Charlie was in New York and hadn't fled the country. Sands was determined to keep it that way for as long as he could but considering the agency that was after her… "I didn't involve her in anything!"

"Sure you didn't. Now, that office you got promoted to after the Italy case? Gone. You're in a cubicle again."

"But…"

"Bringing the dog to work? Gone."

"I need…"

"Shut up. If you ever leave your job or the state again without permission from your boss, you will be fired. If we even hear you might be planning something like you did in Mexico, you will be fired. If you get found with a female co-worker, doctor, agent, intern that works in the mailroom, fired. You assault anyone in this building, no matter what they're saying, fired. You shoot anyone who isn't involved in the case, chef, waitress, even one of your snitches, fired. Basically, you look at someone funny, you're fired. Now, do you have a problem with any of this?"

Sands glared at him, knowing that he couldn't. "No."

"Good because you break any rule the CIA has, no matter how small and you're fired. You're not top dog anymore, Sands. We let you slide on a couple of things because you were the best agent here with no fail rate but then you got the eyes ripped out of your head…"

"I did everything you wanted in Mexico!"

"And cost us millions of dollars to clear everything up. So now, we're going to treat you like a rookie. You know what that means."

Sands' eyes widened. "Oh no. No way."

Trevor smirked. "That's right, Sands. You're getting a partner."

* * *

"What the hell do you mean you lost her?"

"She checked out of her hotel room last night. I don't know where she went."

"You're supposed to be watching her twenty-four, seven!"

"Sorry, boss."

"Fucking henchmen…Find her. And this time, keep your eye on her!"

"Are you still going to pay me?"

"Go."

* * *

Sands was startled awake when he heard his phone ringing. He looked around with a frown from his position on the couch and realised he'd fallen asleep.

_Lot of fucking help to her you are._

Sands hadn't slept much lately but he still wasn't very happy with himself when he dosed off. Now that he had been awoken, he went to answer his phone as he frowned, not knowing who would call him and his curiosity increased when the call cut off after one ring.

_Why not even give me time to answer?_

He picked up his phone and checked the missed call. It was a number he definitely didn't recognise. Sands knew better than to think someone with this phone number and area code had dialled his number accidentally so instead of just redialling the number on his own phone, he went into his bedroom where he kept another one. A phone the CIA didn't know about like his work one or his home one so they couldn't track it, like Sands feared they might have with his other ones. He dialled the number off his second phone and waited for an answer.

"Merhaba?"

That surprised Sands. Turkish? He wasn't fluent and he was rusty. "Do you speak English?"

"A little."

"I just got a call from this number. I want to know who called me."

"Ah, you mean the girl. I sell phone cards for these phones. She buy one, dial a number and put down phone straight after then walk away. It must be you who she call."

Sands was surprised. Charlie? She must have been getting pretty scared to say she was risking calling him. Although she didn't. She hung up so nothing could be traced.

_Clever, Mac._

_You just told me where you are._

"What part of Turkey are you in?"

"Kusadasi."

_Looks like I'm going to Kusadasi._

* * *

"Okay, so I was thinking when we get to Germany,we should try and find Hirsch's…"

"No."

Miller frowned. "What?"

"I'm not making plans with you." Sands said to his new partner. He was currently on a plane to Europe with his new co-agent though he still wasn't happy about it and if he wasn't happy, he was going to make sure nobody else was. A few days after his mystery phone call, Sands had gotten another call but this time it was letting him know that his first mission since he got back was up. He was supposed to travel to Germany to keep tabs on Frederick Hirsch, a underground gangster who was thought to be running guns from Berlin to Canada so they could be snuck into the States for an anti-government group. It was a simple enough mission and usually, Sands would be confident he'd be come in about a fortnight. But he wasn't focusing on the mission. The only plan he was making was how to get from Germany to Turkey without anyone knowing. "I may have to put up with you tagging along but I'm not working with you."

"Listen asshole, it's not my fault that you got cocky. Believe me; I don't want to work with you either. I don't get why I'm getting punished. I didn't screw up and then fuck the medic."

"Hmmm, maybe you got put with a partner because you're a fucking moron?"

"Yeah, maybe. I have to be if I didn't realise Macintosh gave it away so easily." Miller said, trying to get a rise out of Sands. "All of the women in the CIA, never guessed she'd be the one to go to for a quick fuck."

Sands was trying very hard not to kill him. He had to act like he didn't care what anyone said about Charlie or he would get fired and possibly killed if he did anything to Miller, no matter how tempting it was. "She's not. I tried. I failed."

"Sure. If that were the truth, you'd lie just to flatter your reputation. It's just my luck you have to be the one to figure out that she's pretty loose and then you get her fired before the rest of us can have a go."

Sands self-control was wearing very thin but he couldn't do anything about it. One wrong move and he was getting sent back to America with no hopes of finding her.

"Gonna hit me for talking about her like you did with Thompson?"

"Bitter I slapped around your girlfriend?" Sands remembered those two were friends, probably why Miller hated Sands as much as Sands hated him. Sands didn't have a reason though, just found the guy annoying.

"Try it. Oh wait, you can't or else you'll end up like she did and I don't mean on her back."

Sands was really considering a change in careers just to be able to kill this guy.

"I mean, why you?" Miller kept going on, seeing how Sands had tensed his jaw. "None of the rest of us nearly got her killed daily and yet you're still the one she sluts up for. Maybe that's it. Maybe she has some kind of danger fetish. Huh, that could be fun."

"Well, she's not around anymore so you'll never know."

"So you didn't hear?" Miller smirked. "The CIA are having trouble finding a replacement. Word is, they're considering trying to get her back. So I guess once they get her back I, and a lot of the other guys, will get her on her back. Figure out what all the fuss was about. Is she that good?"

Sands wasn't even listening to the taunting. He was too busy contemplating what Miller said. The CIA were looking to get her back? Surely that was code for the CIA were just looking for her, to lure her into whatever trap was set. That meant they were going to look for her in New York and they weren't going to find her.

_They're going to realise she's after running._

* * *

Charlie was walking through the market stalls when that familiar feeling came over her. Instead of turning and looking around in case she gave away that she knew someone was following her which could put her at more risk, she just kept walking. She didn't know where she was going but it certainly wasn't her hotel. They probably knew where she was staying but just in case they didn't, she wasn't making it easier for them.

_Damnit Sands, why aren't you coming to find me?_

"Miss."

Charlie jumped when a man stood in front of her.

"Scarves? I'll give you a good price."

Charlie saw the man indicate to his shop and she decided to go in and hope no one followed her and that they maybe had a back exit. "Em, yeah. Okay, sure."

She hurried inside and pretended to look along the rows and rows of scarves, not really paying attention to any of them but more at the door to see if someone followed her in. No one did and she let out a sigh of relief. Her sense of safety was squashed when she heard a lock. She looked to the entrance quickly to see the owner of the shop who'd brought her in there had just locked the door and was pulling curtains across the windows so no one could see in.

"What are you doing?" She asked quickly.

"Giving some privacy." He answered.

"No, I don't want privacy. I want to leave." Charlie said, going to the door. Before she got there, the man grabbed her and wrapped his arms tightly around her, dragging her into a backroom. "Let me go!"

He didn't say a word as he dropped her onto the floor of a storeroom and closed the door behind him, leaving her trapped in there. Charlie pushed herself up from the floor slightly, not believing how stupid she could be. It was typical of her, to try and get away from some danger that she wasn't even sure existed and throwing herself into a situation that was going to get her killed.

"Good one, Charlie." She said to herself sarcastically.

"Really, sugar? I'd say you just showed very poor judgement. Have I taught you nothing?"

Charlie looked up quickly to see Sands appear from his hiding place behind a stack of shelves. He was just standing there casually as if he had been with her the whole time.

"Sands!" Charlie shot up quickly and flew into his arms, hugging him tightly. "I've never been so happy to see someone in all my life."

"Well, you certainly know how to make me blush, sugar." Sands said, trying to use humour to deflect from the fact that having her in his arms again was better than any successful CIA mission, something he would definitely not be seeing any time soon.

"I thought leaving that missed call on your phone was such a long shot and when you didn't come here after a few days, I didn't think it worked at all…"

"No, I figured it out." Sands said, noticing how she wasn't pulling back from the hug she had him in. He didn't think he'd ever really hugged anyone before. It was nice. "It just took me a bit longer to get to you than I would have liked."

"As long as you're here now, I don't care how long it took."

Sands was surprised when she did pull back but only to press her lips against his. Sands decided to chalk it up to relief as opposed to anything else but still didn't end it, enjoying the feeling of her that close to him again.

_Don't get too close._

_Remember, she doesn't love you back._

* * *

"How could this have happened?"

"It could be the fact that you put two agents who hate each other together."

"No one likes Sands and Sands doesn't like anyone. They were always going to hate each other." Trevor said tiredly. "But I didn't think things would go bad this quickly."

"Maybe Sands isn't ready to be out in the field yet." Waitrose shrugged.

"He wasn't the one found dead."

"No, we just can't find him at all. Both him and Hirsch are missing."

"You think Hirsch killed Miller?"

"I know for a fact Hirsch killed Miller. We just have to find out if he killed Sands too because at the moment, there's no sign of him."

Trevor shook his head. "He isn't dead. If he was, we would have found him."

"Then I guess we'll keep looking."

* * *

"Turkey? Really?"

Charlie nodded. They were still in the stockroom while they caught each other up on what had been happening. "I bet you wouldn't have suspected it and I'm hoping the CIA don't either. I didn't come here originally. I went to…"

"France."

Charlie frowned. "How did you know that?"

"Told you I'd find you."

"Well if I was that easy to find, it's a good thing I left. Anyway, I had to. People were following me."

"I know."

"How?"

"I was making them."

"What?" Charlie asked.

"I got more than a few calls complaining about you disappearing from under their noses." Sands replied. "With that talent, you could be an agent yourself."

"So I was right? People were following me? But it was you making them?"

Sands nodded. "Got a few of my own henchmen. And mine are international so Lupe can suck it. If she were still alive."

"Why did you have people spying on me?"

"To make sure you stayed safe. If someone else was following you, they'd know and they'd get back to me where I would instruct them to kill that other person. I got inside men all over the joint."

"Oh." Charlie said. "How did you know where I was?"

"I checked the travel logs from the airport and saw which flight left the soonest after I dropped you off. I then checked landing times and hacked into your credit card statements to see when you took out money which I assumed you'd do right after landing."

"Wow…I didn't realise it was so easy to find someone."

"You call hacking into an airport database and a bank database easy? It took me days! Those places are a little tight on security."

"So how did you get here without the CIA knowing?"

"I had to wait till they sent me on a mission. Which didn't go as planned…"

"Why not?"

"They gave me a partner."

"Really?"

"Seems I burnt the hand that fed me one too many times. They put me with Miller."

"So he knows you're gone?"

"Nope, for the CIA right now, Miller has been killed in the field and I've been taken hostage. Not a great comeback for me but…"

"You killed Miller?" Charlie asked with wide eyes.

"No!" Sands answered.

"Oh…" That was a relief.

"I had the guy we were looking for do it by luring them both into a trap. We were sent to Germany to collect information on this guy, Frederick Hirsch, some big time gun runner so I went undercover looking to make a deal with Hirsch for some guns without telling Miller. I then told Miller I'd found an informant we should meet, sent them both to the same place and let the sparks fly."

"Jesus, Sands…"

He shrugged. "I had to make it look genuine. Miller's autopsy report will show the bullet found is used in the same guns Hirsch is suspected of running. And I won't be found at all. See? The plan works."

"I know but…"

"It was either that or never find you, which would you prefer?"

Charlie sighed. "This is going to get messy, isn't it?"

"You have no idea. But for now, you are safe; I'm making sure of it. And I'm going to keep making sure of it."

"Until the CIA find out you're missing." Charlie said, looking at the floor.

"You alright, Mac?"

Charlie sighed. "It's so dangerous. I…"

"What? Charlie, what?"

She looked up at him. "I don't want you risking your life for me."

"I'm not risking my life, I'm protecting yours."

"Sands…"

"Charlie, have a little faith in me. It'll make things go a hell of a lot smoother."

"I know, I'm just scared."

"No need to be, sugar. You got me on your side now."

"Do you have any idea who might be after me?"

Sands sighed. "No. But I'm looking and I'll keep looking. I've been collecting files and uploading them to my laptop which I brought. Once we can go over people and what they might have against you, I'll figure it out."

"I hope so. I just…I would like us both to stay safe."

"We will. I know every CIA trick in the book and whoever is doing this is going to use them. We're one step ahead, sugar."

Charlie had to smile at the nickname.

"But for now," Sands said. "We're still in hiding and seeing as we can't spend our days in here, why don't you show me where you're staying?"

Charlie nodded and Sands walked out of the stockroom, having her follow him. They left the shop and Charlie was a little comforted to see the owner of the shop throw her a regretful glance. Sands had probably paid him good money to scare her like that, just to get her in there.

"So," Sands asked while they walked through the town. "Where are you staying?"

"Oh…Uh…"

Sands frowned. "Mac?"

* * *

"Holy…"

"I know it's a little extravagant," Charlie said, looking around at the penthouse suite of deep red and gold that took up the entire top floor of the hotel with opulent furniture and antique designs. "But I figured the higher up I was, the longer it would take for anyone to get to me."

"Finally dipping into your grandfather's money?"

"Can you think of a better reason than running for your life?"

Sands had noticed something else while looking around the hotel room which was bigger than the house he grew up in. "There's two bedrooms."

Charlie hadn't really been looking for that specific feature when she took the penthouse but nodded. "Yeah."

Sands remembered what Corrigan had told him, what Charlie had said. "Good thinking. Where have you been sleeping?"

Charlie pointed to the bedroom furthest from the entrance. "There."

Sands nodded and brought his bag into the other one. Charlie had to admit, that surprised her. Since when had Sands ever voluntarily not stayed in her bedroom? He had never, ever slept in a separate bedroom, even when she had ordered him to, even when they just slept. He had treated her spare room like it was on fire. Hell, the last time he saw her, he was kissing her passionately. She walked after him into the bedroom.

"Sands, I don't want you to think I did this on purpose…"

"Did what?"

"The whole…Two bedroom thing. I just want you to know it wasn't some hint whenever you got here that I want you to keep your distance or anything…"

"I don't think you want me away from you because the room you took happened to have a separate bedroom, Charlie."

"Oh, good…"

"I think so because that's what you told me the last time you saw me before you figured out what the CIA were doing."

Charlie's relief went away. He thought she was only happy to see him because he could protect her? She was using him? That wasn't fair. Of course she'd be happy to see him from a protection point of view but it was more than that. "I was angry…"

"You had every right to be. This room have internet?"

Charlie pointed to a socket in the wall.

Sands took out a laptop and plugged it in. "I'm going to start looking up files I transferred on here before I left. See if I can find out who's doing this before they find out where we are. Got any names of interest for me?"

"Sands…"

"No, not him. Anyone else?"

"I…I don't think so."

"Charlie, you have to think. Very hard. Someone you might have screwed over, someone you denied the medical care they wanted, an employee you treated badly, anyone!"

"No! I've never denied anyone anything that they needed!"

"Maybe they didn't need it, maybe someone was looking for a fix and you refused. Maybe even reported them. I know these agents, Charlie. Some of them can't cope, they develop vices. You must know at least one person. One person who might have come to you."

"I fired a guy right before your surgery."

"What was his name?"

"Kevin Roberts."

"I'll look into him. Anyone else?"

"Waitrose?"

"Really? She may find you annoying but enough to kill? There'd have to be a reason. Some dirt you have on her or something."

"I don't think I have any. Well, besides the fact that she broke the rules with…" Charlie stopped herself realising bringing up Sands and Waitrose was just as bad as the second bedroom.

"Yeah, fantastic. I'll look into it." Sands said, knowing where she was going.

"Can I help with…?"

"It's just going to be a lot of clicking and reading. Not much to do. Go do what you usually do in here."

Charlie nodded and walked away, going to her room. Not the reception she was expecting. He didn't even want to be in the same room as her. She should go and do what she usually did?

_I usually just waited for you._

In the other room, Sands was berating himself but he couldn't help it. He was annoyed, he was tired as hell after all the travelling and he hated to admit it but he was hurt. If she didn't love him, he couldn't love her and if he wanted to make sure she survived, he had to act like an agent, not someone emotionally involved.

So he had to stay in the separate bedroom.

He didn't know that Charlie was having the opposite idea.

Later that night, Sands was reading all the newspapers he had bought to try and find out anything that might be going on back in the States or in other countries that might seem unusual and could be the mark of the CIA looking for them or trying to coax them out of hiding. He turned a page and saw just that.

_Oh shit. This could be a problem._

"Sands?"

He looked up when he saw Charlie standing in his doorway, dressed in a nightdress.

"What?" He asked, trying not to look anywhere from her face.

Charlie walked further in. "I was…I was just wondering…If I could stay in here tonight?"

Sands' eyebrows shot up at this.

"It'd make me feel safer." Charlie explained.

Sands was about to say yes when his common sense stopped him. "No."

Charlie frowned. "What? Why not?"

"Because…It'll create something none of us want."

"Sands, I just want to go to sleep."

"Then go to your own room and go to sleep."

"Sands." Charlie said incredulously.

"Look, you don't want to complicate this the same as I don't and you know if we share a bed, we won't just sleep."

"I can control myself, believe it or not."

"No, you can't." Sands said, knowing he definitely couldn't control himself. "Because your weakness is men. I don't know why, whether you have daddy issues or just regular issues but men are your weakness, they make you stupid. Well, I'm not letting that happen. Go back to your room."

"Wait a second, I'm the problem here?" Charlie asked. "You were the one who kissed me outside the airport. You were the one who came after me."

"To protect you."

"Not sleeping alone would make me feel safe."

"Charlie, you get into this bed and the last thing we'll do is sleep. The separate bedrooms was a good idea. Go back to yours."

"I didn't do it on purpose!"

"Who gives a fuck? A lot of things happened no one planned and this isn't the worst, believe me."

"Alright, what's going on?" Charlie asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean before all this happened, you wouldn't leave me alone. Now here we are, alone together, and you don't even want to be near me. What happened in that space of time? Did something happen back home?"

Sands closed the newspaper as she walked over to him so she wouldn't see the article. "Nothing happened. I'm just doing what you wanted."

"What I wanted? Do you not remember me kissing you a while ago?"

"I guessed you were relieved that you weren't alone anymore."

"I'm not very relieved now."

Sands frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Charlie leant down and kissed him again. It wasn't filled with overbearing passion or unadulterated need; it was just a simple kiss. "So what was that for?"

Sands huffed. "Just sleeping? Yeah, you're showing a lot of control."

"It was just a kiss. You usually like them."

"Things change."

"We haven't even seen each other! How can things change from you kissing me in your car to not wanting me to even be around you?"

"Charlie!" Sands said, frustrated. "I can't answer these questions. Just accept the fact that what happened in Mexico won't be repeating itself here."

Charlie nodded and left the bedroom. She walked out onto the balcony and looked out at the city. She didn't feel like she could do it anymore. She had to stay here with him but it was too complicated.

Sands walked out behind her and she turned to him.

"This is getting too hard."

"What do you want to do? I'm not leaving you on your own or you'll end up getting killed."

"We can't just keep tiptoeing around what's going on here. I want to be with you and you don't want to be with me and then you want to be with me and I don't want to be with you and it just keeps going back and forth, it's getting ridiculous. I know it's bad timing to want to sort this out now seeing as we have to be together right now but I am not spending however long we need to spend together trying to decipher what you're thinking." Charlie turned to him. "So, please just tell me, what do you want?"

And then they were kissing again. Charlie's back was pressed up against the ledge of the balcony, her hand on his shoulder and the other placed on his cheek as his hands grasped her nightdress, scrunching the silk fabric. He pushed the floor length skirt up so he could place his hands on her thighs. Sands stopped when he felt her place her hand over his one on her thigh and began moving it higher.

"Wait, stop. We can't do this."

"Yes, we can." Charlie said. "We've done it before."

"And it cause a shitload of problems. We're in too dangerous a situation to go and make things even more complicated."

"Sands, please. I need this. All I feel lately is fear and I need to feel something else. I need to feel you."

"No, that's the last thing you need. You're just…needy. It was handy when I was trying to get you into bed the first time round but now it's just sad."

"Excuse me?"

Her therapist's words were ringing in his ears. Usually he wouldn't give a fuck about what anyone said but this woman was just reflecting what Charlie told her about herself and Sands, how he was all wrong for her, how no matter what way he acted towards her, he was hurting her because of the people they were.

How she didn't love him.

"You want to know where we stand?" He said. "Spending our time in separate bedrooms, that's where we are."

Sands walked back inside but Charlie followed him.

"You're risking everything for me. Your job, your life, everything. Why? If that's how you feel, then why?"

Sands stopped and turned to her. "Because it was the right thing to do."

Charlie shook her head. "You don't care about doing the right thing, you never have. Just tell me the truth."

"I never tell the truth either."

Charlie got closer to him. "There's a first time for everything. Just…Say it."

That threw Sands. "What?"

"What we both know and have just been too chicken shit to admit. Just say it."

"Why don't you say it?" Sands asked suspiciously.

Charlie didn't reply. She needed him to say it so she could look in his eyes and see if he was telling the truth and if it was real, if she hadn't concocted another fake scenario in her head again where Sands and her could end up together without him fucking her over. "Say it, Sands."

Before Charlie knew it, Sands had grabbed her waist and pulled her into him, kissing her roughly. Charlie's hands clutched his shirt, holding him just as tightly as he was grasping her. Sands' lips travelled to her neck.

"Please." She said breathlessly. Sands pulled away from her neck and looked down at her. "I'm tired of the games, Sands. I'm not doing it anymore. We have to stop running circles around each other. I will give you everything, and I don't just mean sex, I will give you everything if you just say it. Please."

_"I've asked her, more than once and she's said no. Every time."_

Sands shook his head. "I can't."

Charlie's expression dropped. "Why not?"

"Because I've lied to you too much already."

Sands walked past her into his bedroom but Charlie was frozen. She'd finally offered him everything and he turned her down?

Charlie walked into her own bedroom and collapsed on her bed.

_Fuck the CIA; this is what's going to kill me._

The next morning, neither were too keen to leave their respective bedrooms as after last night, things were definitely going to be awkward if not downright icy. Charlie was embarrassed and let down, Sands was just frustrated. Their first night together in weeks, the first of many, and they'd already made it unbearable for themselves. Both were thinking the exact same thing. Why didn't Charlie keep her mouth shut?

Charlie finally left her room when she decided it was ridiculous to feel locked away because of a potential uncomfortable encounter. Well that and she was starving. She walked over to the menu and went to the phone to call room service. She'd just get something sent up and then could go back to her room for the day. She was sitting and looking out the window when she heard the door to the other room open. She didn't look back but she heard him stop for a second before he walked out.

"The internet reception here is unusable so I'm gonna go find an internet café or something." Sands said shortly.

Charlie nodded but still didn't look back at him.

"Will you be okay here by yourself?" He asked.

"I've been doing it so far."

"Good for you, you don't even need me here." Sands said sarcastically before walking out of the hotel room.

Charlie sighed, letting her head fall against the glass. She had to go and ruin things, didn't she? What she hated more was that she hadn't even tried to ruin things. She genuinely thought it might work out. Now they couldn't be around each other. That only became more evident when Sands didn't come back, even after the sun went down which in this country, didn't happen till late. It was then that Charlie got worried.

_What if something had happened to him? What if someone found him? They're trying to make him tell them where I am and he won't?_

_Oh God…_

Charlie's worry had her considering going out and looking for him but she realised she'd be completely useless. That's why he was here in the first place.

All thoughts of worry disappeared when he walked through the door.

"You're back."

"Yeah, sorry about that." He replied.

"You must have been at that internet café for hours."

"I was walking around, trying to map out the place, just in case."

Both knew he was also avoiding her.

"I just…" Charlie began. "Maybe phones would be a good idea. How was I supposed to know that you weren't caught by the CIA or something? Or how did you know I wasn't? I mean, after all, that's the only reason you're here."

Sands huffed. "Here," He threw her the remote control. "Watch some TV and relax for a change."

He walked into his bedroom and closed the door behind him and Charlie looked down at the control in her hand. She would have preferred to throw it as his head but maybe some noise filling the place would make her feel better. She couldn't stand the silence anymore. She left on an American news station but didn't even pay attention until a familiar name was mentioned.

"_And in other news, police are asking anyone who has information on missing man, Barry Peterson to come forward..."_

Charlie looked at the television quickly, hurrying over.

"_Peterson was last seen by friends four days ago and was reported missing when he didn't show up to work the next morning. Authorities were dispatched to his home where it was suggested a struggle had taken place. No further information has been given and police have released a statement asking anyone who may have seen Peterson to contact the authorities."_

Charlie was looking on in shock at the report. Barry? They'd taken Barry? Why? Why him?

_This is to get me out of hiding. It has to be._

"I looked into that Roberts guy and why did you fire…"

Sands stopped when he heard the television. He hurried over and turned it off, crouching down to grab Charlie by the arms.

"Nothing's changed."

She looked at him. "You knew about this?"

"Charlie…"

"You knew about this and you didn't tell me?"

"I couldn't risk you knowing."

"Risk me knowing? Sands! I should know! They took him because of me! Oh God…"

"Charlie, listen to me…"

"I have to go back."

Sands knew this would happen. "No, you can't."

"I have to! I can't let them do this! He has nothing to do with any of this and me hiding out is only putting him in further danger."

"You go back and you're putting yourself in danger! Look, it could be much worse."

Charlie frowned at him. "What?"

"At least it wasn't your sister or her kids or something. It was some asshole you dropped months ago."

"That doesn't matter! I still can't let them put him through this if I can help him."

"Why? It's not like you're still in love with the guy, are you?"

"What? No! But I was with him for ten years, Sands, I can't just…"

"Who cares? You're not with him anymore!"

If Charlie didn't know any better, she would almost think Sands sounded jealous. "I know that but he is trouble because of me! I can't live with someone dying because I ran away. No. I'm not hiding anymore. I can't let him get any deeper into this."

Sands huffed. "Charlie, he could already be dead."

Her eyes widened. "They wouldn't."

"They would and even if they get you, they will. You know why? Because he now knows too much. Believe me, Charlie, I know what the deal is with these people because I'm one of them and I've done things like that. There is no hope left for that guy. I can't say I'm too choked up but I can say it's true. You, on the other hand, I can still save you."

"I can't do this. Someone is trying to kill me, Sands! And I don't know why! But I can't keep running. Not from them. They're the people you can't run from."

"No, Charlie, you have to keep running. I am going to make sure you're safe but I can't do that if you give up."

"They're going to kill me, they might have already killed him and it'll be my family next and then it's gonna be me anyway..."

"I won't let that happen to you." Sands said, trying to get her up off the floor. The fact that he couldn't guarantee her family's safety wasn't doing him any favours.

"And they'll kill you. For helping me. I can't let you do this."

"Charlie…"

"I can't."

"I have to do this."

"No, you don't."

"Yes I do!"

"Why?"

"Because I love you!"

Charlie looked up at him, dumbstruck. "What?"

Sands huffed. "I am in love with you, alright? I have been for quite a while now and I can't shake it and that is why I need to make sure you are safe but you are not helping by giving up! So get up and don't make me regret falling for someone who is going to get herself killed!"

Charlie stood up. "You love me?"

"Since Mexico."

"But…Right after Mexico…"

"I was too chicken shit to tell you in Mexico. And then afterwards I was trying, in my own twisted way, to protect you. You had just nearly died because of me. I wasn't letting that happen again. But as it turned out, it's happening again anyway. So now I'm going to not be an asshole and actually protect you instead of hurting you over and over." Sands looked at her. "Charlie, you need to say something."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Charlie, I need you to say it back."

Charlie shook her head. "I can't."

"But…You have to."

"Sands, please…"

Sands walked over to her. "I love you. I need you to say you love me back."

Charlie had tears in her eyes and walked away from him. "You can't do this to me."

"What? Are you listening to yourself?"

"Where the fuck was all this last night?" Charlie shouted. "When I stood here, begging you to just tell me the truth? When I was offering you everything!"

"Everything? You were offering me everything? You wouldn't say it either! But now I've said it. Now it's your turn."

"Please, stop."

"Charlie!"

"Alright! I do love you! So much." She shook her head with tears in her eyes. "But you know what? I hate you too. I love you but I don't want to. I don't want to love you because you have hurt me far too much and I hate you for that. I hate you so much and I love you so much and…I don't know what to do with that. But I do know I can't go through all that again. So I may love you but we're not going to be together."

Sands walked over to her, taking her face in his hands. "You love me?"

"I don't trust you. I mean, how can I believe you now? You said we would be together before and you broke my heart. How do I know you won't do it again? All you've ever done is hurt me."

"After Mexico, I was trying to help you. Last night, I was trying to protect you."

"Help me? You abandoned me and then treated me like crap. Last night, you left me standing here, humiliated and rejected."

"Charlie, I love you. You're the only person in the world I want to protect."

Trying to prove his point, Sands kissed her, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"Sands, no." Charlie pulled away.

"Charlie…" Sands kissed her again but she pulled away.

"Sands!"

"I love you."

"I love you too. But I can't trust you."

Charlie left his arms and walked into her bedroom, closing the door behind her. She felt like she'd just been punched in the chest. He loved her. He loved her and he'd admitted it. More than once. And she finally admitted to herself that she loved him back. And yet neither one of them had spoken about being together. Maybe because they knew it wouldn't work, especially under the present circumstances but now, more than ever, she wanted to be with him. Because he actually loved her. So that was why she felt even more disheartened when she heard the front door to the suite slam.

He was gone.

She didn't know where he went or when he'd be back but she did know if things had been hard today, they were going to be excruciating from now on. Charlie sighed and got a towel, deciding to stand under a shower and let the hot water make her body feel better if her emotions were going to be in the state they were.

* * *

_Stop being chicken shit._

_You knew this was coming._

Sands walked back into the hotel room and looked for Charlie, walking to her bedroom. Things weren't over and if they wanted to survive, they had to sort themselves out because at the moment, they were train wrecks. He froze when he walked inside and realised he'd just walked in on her changing. She had her back to him and had yet to realise he was standing there if the fact that she kept taking off the dress she was wearing was to go by. Sands knew he should probably walk out but he couldn't. He was very aware that he still hadn't seen any of what he'd experienced of her and now, he was. He was finally able to see the legs that his hands had caressed so many times and he couldn't take his eyes off them. He was actually frustrated that instead of a bra, she was wearing a silk chemise that covered her torso and only left a few inches of her back were exposed to his gaze when she was lifting her arms to take off the dress over her head. He wanted to see more now than ever before.

He only got a few seconds before Charlie turned to grab a towel that was lying on her bed. She jumped when she saw him standing there but when she realised how little she was wearing, her stance became as awkward as his.

"I…I thought you left."

"I forgot my wallet." Sands made up quickly.

"Oh, did you try the…uh…"

"I got it."

Charlie nodded. "I was just…I was going to go for a shower."

"Okay. I should probably go. Again."

"Right."

Despite his words, Sands didn't move.

"Sands?" Charlie frowned.

"Sorry." He said, finally looking away. "Yeah, I gotta go."

"Or," Charlie replied, making him frown at her. "You could stay."

All thoughts of leaving went out the window for Sands and the next second, he had his arms wrapped around her and his lips on hers. They made their way onto the bed as Sands' hands roamed up her back. Their lips parted for a second as hFe looked down at her, stroking his hands through her hair as Charlie smiled.

"Stay with me."

"For tonight."

"What about tomorrow?"

"Things gotta go back to normal, sugar."

Charlie frowned. "Normal? Nothing about this is normal. Do you really think that will happen? That after everything that's happened between us, one night will be enough? It won't. Not for me."

"That's the way it has to be."

"What? Tiptoeing around each other and trying not to slip because it'll put our lives in danger if we do?"

Sands knew she was going to figure out his game sooner or later. "That's not what…"

"I know that's what you're doing; Sands and I don't understand it. Letting yourself be with me is going to get me killed? How?"

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

"It's the CIA. It's safe to say there's no guarantee that both of us are coming out of this alive and it's most likely a certainty that if we're lucky enough to get out of this, it's only going to be one of us."

"Wait, are you telling me that you're not going to be with me because one of us is going to die?"

"I know the CIA well enough to know that once they plan something, they don't give up."

"So why run?" Charlie said, pushing him off her. She didn't know if the tears in her eyes were from frustration over their situation or from fear. Whatever it was, it was mixed in with just being emotionally exhausted. "Why go through all this if they're going to win?" She frowned at him. "Why get yourself involved if you know you're going to lose?"

"Because if one person has to die, me being here means it might not be you."

Charlie looked up at him, not believing what she'd just heard. As far as she was concerned, the fighting and talking was over. She stood up and placed her hands on either side of his face, pressing her lips against his in a soft kiss. Sands wrapped his arms around her again.

He was done. They both were. From that moment on, there was no more second thoughts, no more tiptoeing, no more tricks. They were together.

And Sands was going to make sure it stayed that way for a very long time.

* * *

**Sorry about the late update but hopefully, I made up for it with this chapter! Yay, they love each other! And don't you kind of hate Corrigan?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	35. Lessons

**To Jazzz: I'm sorry for the long wait. Real life has been taking its toll and then wasn't letting me update but here you go!**

**Here's Chapter 35!**

"You okay?"

Charlie turned to look at him, into his eyes, nodding. "I didn't think I'd ever see the day when you cared."

"Neither did I."

Charlie kept her eyes on his for a few seconds before she closed them and subsequently felt his hand stroke her hair away from her face and continued to stroke her cheek. Charlie opened her eyes and saw his own looking back. It was slightly surreal for her, to finally see him looking at her. It was definitely daunting tonight, more than usual. After those few days in Malibu when he had first seen her, she knew that he had high expectations and that had just made her even more nervous to go to bed with him. Even last night while caught up in the moment, she was hesitant to let him see her but he made it very clear very quickly that he wasn't disappointed. The rest of the night had been in the same vain, he had explored her body many times but the fact that he could actually see her now had made him want things to last as long as possible and Charlie wasn't complaining. The best part of it for Charlie though hadn't been his eyes devouring every inch of her but the moments when they looked into hers. Now they were lying in bed, completely spent and his eyes were still looking into hers.

"Hey, sugar?" Sands asked for a while.

"Yeah?"

"You love me?"

Charlie smiled. "Yeah."

"And you hate me?"

"I have my moments."

"How does that work?"

"You never not like me?"

"Of course, you annoy the shit out of me." Charlie raised an eyebrow. "But hate is a bit strong. For you, not me."

"If it makes you feel any better, I love you more than I hate you."

"I suppose I'll take what I can get."

Charlie smiled, bringing her lips close to his. "Will you say it?"

Sands sighed, wrapping his arms around her. "Come on, sugar, didn't I just prove it enough?"

"Please?"

Sands was silent for a second as if trying to build himself up enough. "I…"

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

Charlie smiled and kissed him.

Tonight couldn't have been more perfect for the both of them. And as was typical of them, a great night was once again followed by an uncertain morning as Charlie woke up and looked around the room. In the harsh light of the sun rise, her decisions last night didn't seem too solid. Especially seeing as Sands wasn't anywhere to be found. He was nowhere in the room and she couldn't hear the shower running in the bathroom. For all she knew, he was nowhere in the hotel. Considering their track record, Sands shooting off before she even woke up didn't fill her with confidence.

_If he left…_

She wrapped the bed sheet around herself and walked out into the main part of the suite to see Sands sitting by the window, looking out at the rising sun. It didn't fill her with relief that he was still there, mainly because she could tell by looking at him that this morning was not going to play out like last night. She had a feeling things were going to turn sour like they always did.

"You're up early." She said.

"Couldn't sleep." Sands replied shortly, not turning away from the window to look at her. "This is the worst thing we could do, you know."

Charlie nodded. "It probably is."

"If I was in any way smart, I'd be worrying about finding out who was trying to kill you. Actually, if I were in any way smart, I'd be back in America and trying to keep a low profile so I can save my own ass, not getting actively involved."

Charlie didn't really know how to reply to that. "I wouldn't try to stop you."

"You wouldn't?"

"I don't want anyone to die because of me. Especially not you."

"And I don't want you to die either which is more likely if I'm more focused on trying to be the good guy to you instead of the bad guy to everyone else."

Charlie was a little surprised but she realised she was used to it. "If you want to forget last night…"

"I don't." He said, looking at her. "Not what we did or said. That's what makes it worse than usual."

"Oh." Charlie said though she was slightly relieved. She walked over and sat across from him. "So what do we do?"

"The smart thing to do would be to ignore the personal stuff, focus on finding who's trying to kill you."

"But that's not what you want?"

"Is it what you want?"

"Well I would like to focus on who's trying to kill me…"

"And the other thing?"

Charlie sighed. "Last night, I thought there was no more question of being with you in my mind."

Sands knew where this was going. "But?"

"But I woke up this morning and you weren't there and without hesitating, I thought you had left me again. I thought you had run away and I wasn't surprised."

He nodded. "You're still expecting me to fuck up."

"I wish I wasn't. I don't want to."

"It's just routine by now."

Charlie was confused. "Why are you so okay with me not trusting you? Last night you were telling me you love me."

"I do. But I fucked up too many times and I get that."

"So we just forget it?" She frowned.

"If that's what you want." He said, trying to seem selfless but she wasn't buying it.

"Can we cut the bullshit?" Charlie said angrily. "This isn't about what I want or what's for the best, you're just being a coward again. If you don't want a relationship, just say it. Don't try to act like some martyr by making out I don't want this."

"You just said…"

"I know what I said but I want to be able to trust you because I want to be with you and I thought telling you that might make you want the same. You would want to prove I can trust you. So I came out here to tell you that and you immediately used it as an excuse to not be with me. That's not my problem, it's yours. If you love me, you can at least tell me the truth."

Charlie got up to go back to her bedroom but Sands' voice stopped her.

"Charlie, wait."

Charlie turned. "What?"

"You want to know the truth? The truth I woke up this morning and I opened my eyes and everything was perfect. You were lying next to me, I finally knew you loved me back, I had finally seen you, something I have wanted for a very long time and we were together."

"So why did I find you out here, trying to get out of all that?"

"Because it's not who I am." He said. "I am not the guy who wakes up the morning after and is delighted to see the girl still in bed. I am not the kind of guy who falls in love with her. I realised I can't do this, the whole love thing. I can't do it."

Charlie frowned. "You can't love me?"

"No, I already do but I cannot do the relationship part, I can't do the cutesy part."

"So you're breaking up with me again?"

"No! I don't want that."

"You just don't want to be in a relationship with me." Charlie said.

"No, I do want that."

"Then what is wrong?"

"I don't know!" Sands shouted, annoyed with himself. "I kill people! I corrupt everything and I…This is the scariest fucking thing I've ever gotten myself into. Look, I…I don't know how long this is going to last. With our situation right now, why we're trapped in this hotel room, I can't guarantee it'll be very long even if I want to. If we do make it out of this alive and together, all I can tell you is I…I'm never going to propose."

That threw her. "What? Where did that come from?"

"Never." He said, going on. "I'm going to be gone. A lot. Hopefully. I still want my job at the CIA and I really hope that whoever is doing this has gone rogue and the CIA don't know about it yet and if they find out, they're on our side. I love my job and I'm not giving it up if I don't have to so yeah, I'll always be gone. If we even live together, and that is a very big if, it'll hardly be noticeable because I'll never be there but even so, I will fight you every way in what way you decorate because your last apartment was purple and I can't have that. I won't tell you I love you every time I see you and I won't be pleasant a lot of the time. Most of the time. We are going to fight as much as we did before, probably more. I may get injured on a mission and you're going to have to worry a lot, add that to the lonely nights and the dinners for one. When I'm gone, I'm not going to call, I won't be able to. If I can, I might not anyway, just in case and if I do, it'll last five minutes tops and knowing me, I'll probably use it for phone sex. And like it or not, when I will be home, you might think a few times that I only use you when I'm back for sex because there will be a lot of it. But I'm not. I'll be with you because…I want to be with you. I want the sex but I also just want you. There will be no marriage, there will be no kids but I do love you. So it's up to you if you want to be with me too."

Charlie looked at him with a sad expression.

"Oh and," Sands added. "I will never, never say anything like this again. I feel like a woman right now."

Charlie still stayed silent.

"And you're not allowed call me Sheldon. When we're in bed, it's fine but don't think just because we're together, you know me well enough to do that."

Charlie smiled. "Okay."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"That's okay." Charlie replied.

"Really? All of it?"

"Sure." She replied. He might not have realised it but he just let her in on the fact that he considered a life with her, even if it wasn't very conventional. He'd still just unwittingly told her he wanted her in his life for good. "I was with someone for ten years and I never wanted to live with him, never wanted to marry him, I never want kids anyway… I know worrying about you when you're gone and never where you are or when you're coming home is going to be harder than I care to think about but…I know what I'm signing up for. I know you, Sands. I'm not expecting you to magically change just because we're together now."

"Because you love me?"

"That's why." Charlie nodded.

Sands huffed. "The reason I am not sitting in my apartment and pretending I don't know any of this…"

"Because you love me back?"

"I'm not going to keep saying it."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

"But it's true." Sands said. Charlie smiled at him and Sands took her arm, pulling him onto his lap. He kissed her for a while, that being the one thing he was certain he wouldn't mess up. When they parted, she laid her forehead against his. "You're sure you want this?" Sands asked.

"I want to not have anyone trying to kill me. I want to go home. And I want to be with you when I do."

"That could be asking too much right now. Going back isn't an option. For any reason." Sands said when he saw her hesitate. "I'm not letting you go back there, not for him."

"So we let an innocent person die?"

"Better one that two and they would kill you. I'm not letting you go back to America just for him."

Charlie frowned. "Are you…Jealous?"

"No but I don't get why you care about him, you broke up with him."

"Ten years of my life…"

"Were lost to that guy and you want to let him take the rest of it too?"

"He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't know anything."

Sands couldn't understand why she wanted to help him. He had done nothing but treat her terrible and hurt her the entire time Sands knew her and probably years before. Maybe he just didn't want to focus on the fact that for most of those ten years, Charlie was in love with the guy. Charlie was the first person Sands had ever loved but she felt this way about someone before and it made Sands bitter when he thought about it. No matter what he did, there was always someone before him and Charlie wasn't going to forget him like Sands could and did with his past women. Sands didn't understand that Charlie felt guilty about what was happening or that just because she was worried didn't mean she still felt anything for her ex.

Charlie tried a different angle. "What about when they realise they haven't done enough? They'll take my family."

"You don't know that."

"Sands…"

"Charlie, I promised I would keep you safe and I'm going to do that. Letting you run back to get killed isn't doing my job right."

"I just…I won't be able to live with myself anyway if something happens to them."

"And I won't be able to live with myself if something happens to you."

Charlie huffed, getting up. "Why are they doing this? What is it about me that is so threatening? I don't know anything!

"Obviously you do, even if you don't think it's a big deal worth knowing, even if you can't remember it because you didn't think to. There's a reason behind this and once we figure out what that is, we can figure out who's doing this."

"And until then? I just hide out and let you risk your life for me?"

"Well I was hoping you'd help try and figure out who might want to kill you, answer a few questions…"

"Sands, come on. I can't just stay locked up in a hotel room, thinking about possible murderers."

"Well, what do you want?"

"I want you to teach me how to shoot."

Sands frowned. "A gun?"

"No, a bow and arrow." Charlie said sarcastically. "Yes, a gun!"

"You don't need to shoot a gun. I shoot the guns while you stand behind me and look pretty."

"Sands!"

"And have a brain, whatever. But you shooting at people? That ain't something I see ending well, sugar."

"Why not?"

"Because we tried it before and you nearly had a meltdown. Remember Lupe? You barely knew that woman. Imagine if someone from the CIA was sent to kill us, someone you knew well, even thought of as a friend. I couldn't have you wimping out if it came down to shooting someone you once trusted."

"That's not going to happen."

"What if it's Trevor?"

"Of course it's not Trevor; he could never do something like this!"

Sands looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "It could be anyone. And your reaction right now tells me you wouldn't pull the trigger."

"If I can't trust anyone, how can I trust you?"

"You don't trust me. Isn't that why this fledgling relationship has problems?"

Charlie looked at him tiredly. "You know what I mean. How do I know you're not trying to kill me and you're using helping me as a way to get close to me?"

"Listen sugar, I got as close as I possibly could to you last night and you're still alive and might I say it not only didn't kill you but put you in a damn fine mood. You have no reason to suspect me."

"I have no reason to suspect anyone!" Charlie defended. "And think about it, you do have a motive. Someone finds out about what happened in Mexico and your new and rejuvenated career is over. You were also with me the night I got drugged; you were the one buying me the drinks that ended up being spiked."

"You think I'm the one who's trying to kill you?" Sands asked, not at all happy.

"No, what I'm saying is if you want me to consider all the options, you have to prepare me for all the options."

"No, I need you to sit. Sit and think. Stop focusing on how to look cool and get killed quickly, that's my job. It is your job to give me every clue possible on how to find this person."

"That's not…Wait, you think you look cool? Have you seen your t-shirts?"

Sands looked at her tiredly.

"Just sayin'. Having 'I'm with sexy' printed across your chest with an arrow pointing at yourself, not very suave."

Sands smirked at the thought. "One of my favourites."

"No wonder I'm your first real girlfriend. Who would walk around with you looking like that?"

Sands' smile dropped. "Whoa, girlfriend?"

Charlie frowned. "Well, I thought…What would I be?"

"I don't know. It's just…'girlfriend'. Didn't consider that. Does that make me your boyfriend? 'Boy'? Really? Don't know if I like that."

"How about manfriend?"

"There's also the friend part. Sugar, I may love you but I'm not your friend."

Charlie huffed, not getting why this topic was such an issue when they had so much more to focus on. "How about we don't do labels?"

"I would prefer that."

"Fine. Now teach me how to shoot."

"No!"

"Sands, I am begging you. I need to do something to make me feel better about this entire situation."

"You do? Well I can do that."

* * *

"This is not what I had in mind."

"You're feeling better, aren't you? Got your mind off what's going on?"

"Yes but…"

"Then mission accomplished."

Charlie smiled. "I really thought you'd be more of a shower person."

"You've thought about me in the shower? Please tell me it was when you were in the shower."

Charlie smacked his arm. "I just meant I didn't think you were the type to suggest a bath."

"It gets you all lathered up and naked so yeah, I'm definitely the type to suggest something like this."

"And the bubbles?"

"Well, they're just for fun."

Charlie smirked. "I'm not fun?"

"When I'm done giving myself Santa beards, I'll move onto you." Sands joked. In reality, he was already completely focused on her as they lay in the bath, her back up against him with her head resting on his chest as his arms were wrapped around her. He frowned when she didn't reply. "Charlie?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry." She said, realising she had been silent. "Just thinking."

"Gonna say what about?"

"Just if you had told me the first day I met you that I'd end up in a hotel room in Turkey with you, I wouldn't have believed it."

"I could."

"I feel like a completely different person to the one who walked into your hospital room that first time."

Sands smiled as his eyebrows furrows. "How?"

"Oh please, I would never have done something like this. And I don't just mean with you, I mean at all."

"So glad I was the one to bring this side out of you." Sands smirked.

"A very different side, like I said."

"You feel different? How do you think I feel?"

Charlie smiled. "Good?"

"Well, this part of it doesn't suck." Sands smirked.

Charlie turned so she was face to face with him, with a raised eyebrow. "And what part does suck?"

Sands' smirk widened, his arms resting along the sides of the bath. "I'm still waiting to figure that out."

"Well, I'm going to make sure it isn't today." She said, leaning in to press her lips against his. Sands put his hands on her hips as he sat up slightly. When they parted, Sands still had his smirk.

"Looks like it's going to be another long night."

* * *

Charlie was woken quite abruptly the next morning when she felt a slap on her behind.

"Ow!" She yelled sleepily, her head shooting up. "What was that for?"

"Hey, you're the one who didn't pack an alarm clock." Sands shrugged.

"Well, I didn't appreciate that one." Charlie huffed, picking up her watch on the nightstand to see what time it was. "We've been asleep like two hours!"

"No, you've been asleep for two hours, I've been awake a while."

"Why?"

"You want to be an agent? They don't get much sleep."

"I never said I wanted to be an agent."

"You want to shoot your guns and do all the hard stuff; well you gotta learn how to do them."

"Yeah, I meant when I was awake."

"Oh no sugar, no one let me stay in bed. Come on."

"Sands, believe me, you don't want to give me a gun right now." She said shortly.

"You're either learning now or you're not learning at all. This is a one-time deal."

"You told me you didn't want me learning how to shoot."

"Then I thought about it. If something gets in my way and you end up on your own, you'll need to know."

"What's going to happen to you?"

"Nothing, hopefully but your first lesson? Always be prepared. Actually your first lesson is don't point the gun at yourself. Now, get up."

Charlie let a groan of frustration, sitting up. She was exhausted so she came up with a plan that would get her back to sleep quickly. She sidled up to him and put her arms around his neck. "You know, you could come back to bed too, let me show you why I like it so much."

Sands smirked. "Oh really?"

"Mhmm."

Sands slapped her on the ass again. "If you got enough energy for that, you can get up. Hurry up. Five minutes."

He left the room and Charlie glared after him.

"I hate you!"

"I know!"

* * *

"Okay, you really don't know how to do this."

"No, I don't."

"Look, you're standing all wrong. This isn't some action movie."

"Sure feels like it."

"Here." Sands walked behind her to help her stand in position. They were currently in a shooting range Sands had found with the help of his new inside man. He was just hoping this one turned out more beneficial than Cucuy. So far, so good. He put his hands on her arms. "Spread your legs." Charlie looked back at him with a raised eyebrow. Sands smirked. "It's a legitimate instruction, sugar, but maybe later in the hotel room, I'll chance it." Charlie chuckled and turned back to the target. "Make sure your feet are aligned with the width of your shoulders. Lean forward slightly. Make sure your arm that is going to pull the trigger is straight." He brought his hands to her arm to structure her properly. Charlie noticed how he took his time to take his hand away but when it did, it went to her waist. "Good…You're doing good."

Charlie looked back at him. "I think you're the only person in the world who gets turned on by guns."

"I don't think I am." Sands said, turning her so she was facing him. He pulled her close to him and kissed her as she wrapped her arms around his neck. They were interrupted when a voice speaking in a different language filled the range from the speaker system. They looked up to see a security camera looking down at them.

"What's he saying?" Charlie asked.

Sands smirked at her. "He's telling us to stop being careless when around firearms."

Charlie looked at the gun still in her hand. "He probably has a point."

"I always knew you liked a little danger."

"I also like privacy." She said, indicating to the security camera where they were obviously being watched. "I bet there's none of those in the hotel room."

Sands chuckled. "We're not going anywhere to you get a kill shot on that target."

"Wait a minute, you're turning down sex?"

"No, I'm postponing sex until you do what we came here to do." Sands turned her back around so she was facing the target. "Now just stand how I told you, aim with one eye and shoot."

Charlie smiled and did what he said. She shot the weapon and felt even more dejected when the bullet hole ended up being a few centimetres from the target's neck.

"Closer." Sands said. "But you're only shooting once. Try a couple of time and you might be more successful."

"Isn't that just wasting bullets?"

"Just shoot, Mac."

Charlie huffed and aimed again.

Sands smirked and brought his lips close to her ear, speaking quietly. "Shoot that thing in the head and I will take you back to the hotel room and do things to you you've never even heard of." Charlie shot but her concentration was way off with Sands whispering in her ear. "Okay, multitasking, not your forte."

"No, I just can't focus when you're whispering in my ear like that. Do you expect me to?"

"Alright, sorry. Now focus." Charlie raised the gun again and aimed. "I ain't lying though."

"Sands, do you want to leave now?"

"No, shoot."

"Really? Because I have a few plans of my own." She smirked back.

"You do?"

"Mhmm."

"Shoot."

"So you…"

"Shoot, woman, shoot."

Charlie shot the gun and hit the shoulder.

"Close enough." Sands said, taking the gun out of her hands quickly.

"I thought you wanted a kill shot?"

"Shoulder's good enough. It'll give you time to run. Come on."

* * *

"Oh my God…"

"I know." Sands said, rolling onto his own side of the bed after both promises had been fulfilled the second they got back to the hotel room and for a few hours after. "What the hell was I thinking in Mexico? Getting on your bad side was just…Stupid when your good side is that good."

"Well I don't know about that…"

"I do."

Charlie smiled. "But I agree about Mexico, that was stupid."

"I thought it was heroic."

"If I wanted a hero, I wouldn't have slept with you in the first place."

"Good point."

Charlie turned so she was looking at him. "But I appreciate that you were trying to protect me."

"Damn right."

Charlie raised an eyebrow at him.

"Just sayin', sugar. Wouldn't have done it for a lot of people."

"And not a lot of people would have done it for me so thank you." She said, placing a hand on his chest.

Sands turned also and began stroking her waist lightly. "I don't think that's true."

"Don't you?"

"No. Do you not remember anyone and everyone trying to keep you away from me? There was a reason for that. Hell, your sister didn't even know me and she hated me. That's what I call protection."

"Really? I call it annoying. Those two, her and my mother, were content to see me waste my life away with Barry as long as I seemed happy and didn't complain. I wasn't, anymore. As crazy as it sounds considering the amount of shit you put me through, I needed you to come along."

"I get that." He said, his hand tightening on her waist. "Believe me, they weren't stopping me. Not your family and not your ex."

Charlie reached over and kissed him and Sands' hand went to her hair. Now that they were on the topic, Sands wanted to figure something out and it seemed, with her good mood, to be the perfect time to do it.

"I can only imagine," He said when they parted. "What your father would have done if he met me. I doubt I'm what a guy wants for his daughter."

"Yeah, well," Charlie said, not meeting his eyes. "Like I told you…"

"He died when you were seventeen."

"Right."

She was still lying about it? He didn't think they could get any more to the point where she would tell him the truth about things. There was love, he was saving her life, there wasn't exactly trust but they'd get around to it!

"How'd he die?" Sands asked.

"Heart attack."

"That must have been rough."

"Yeah, it was devastating." She said shortly.

"Did you have a good relationship with him?"

Charlie frowned at him. "What are you doing?"

"I'm asking you a question."

She sat up. "Why? Why about this? Why do you care?"

"I'm just curious."

"About my dad? Of all things? That's not really what I want to talk about."

"Okay, we won't. Now lie back down."

Charlie scrutinised him for a second before doing so. They were silent for a while.

"I just don't why asking a few questions is such a problem…"

"Oh my God." Charlie said, getting up and getting out of the bed. She put on her robe and began walking out.

"Charlie, wait! Get back here!" Sands said, putting on his boxers and going after her.

"No," She said, turning to face him. "You made your ground rules yesterday and now I have mine. You don't ask me anything you wouldn't be willing to answer."

"What?" He frowned.

"I know if I asked one question about your past, you would clam up so you don't get to ask me about mine."

"I just want to know…"

"No! Sands, no."

"Did he do something to…?"

"Oh my God, stop! I am not answering these questions!"

"Why not?"

"The same reasons you don't want to answers questions! It's private and I don't want to talk about it."

"Fine." Sands said. "I'll stop asking."

"Thank you."

"Go on."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You said rules, ground rules. That was one. I might as well find out the rest."

"Oh. I don't really…"

"No, I am not having my head bitten off every time I do something I didn't think was off limits. I want all our cards on the table."

"Fine." Charlie said. "You will tell me everything and I'm not talking about emotions and shit, I mean what's going on in terms of the CIA. If you find something out, you tell me. Don't consider keeping things from me to protect me like Mexico. If you think I'm in danger, tell me why. None of this cryptic shit."

"Okay. Anymore?"

"Don't bring up money."

Sands frowned.

"I don't like talking about it." She shrugged.

"Fair enough."

"There aren't any second chances."

That caught Sands off guard. "What?"

"If I find out you slipped with some other woman, it's over."

"You think I'm going to cheat?"

"No but you have proved in the past that if things don't go your way, you use sex as a way to make yourself feel better. I don't want to have a fight with you where you storm out and go to a bar and then have you come back and tell me it was a one-time thing. If that happens, I'm gone."

Sands realised he probably had this coming after getting caught with Waitrose and then having her find out about Carr and Melissa and a lot of other women but he still didn't like it. "I'm not going to."

"I didn't say you were, I said if."

"Which is as good as saying you don't trust me."

"I don't trust you."

"But you trusted that fuckmook and if he never cheated on you, I'm Mother Theresa." He pointed out angrily.

"Sands…"

"I just don't get it. He does it, it gets ignored. I don't do it and I still get threatened."

"You have to stop comparing the two of you. It's completely different!"

"No, it's not!"

"How?"

"Because we're the same guy!"

Charlie frowned. "What? No, you're not."

"Right because I never used you and then ignored you. I never treated you like shit."

"It's different."

"In terms of how we both treated you? Hardly. I'm sorry sugar but if you wanted to move on from that dick, I wasn't your best choice. I know that guy because I was that guy. Minus the attempted rape."

"Stop!" Charlie said angrily. "That wasn't…"

"Charlie, don't even." Sands replied. "I was there, remember? I'm the one who threw him out."

"That was once and he was drunk..."

"Why the fuck do you keep defending him?" Sands shouted. "Every single time!"

"If you shut the fuck up and let me finish a sentence, you'd realise I wasn't defending him! I was saying it was once and he was drunk but if he was always like that, I wouldn't have stayed with him!"

"I don't know that! You stayed with him when he treated you like shit, I don't know how much but…"

"This is ridiculous. I'm not the same as I was when I went out with him so if you think you're like him and want someone like that, it's not me anymore."

"That's what I'm saying! You trusted him when he was off doing anyone behind your back and I'm trying to be better than that, against my nature, and you don't trust me? Why the fuck not?"

Charlie was at a loss of how to explain. "Because it will hurt me much more if you betray me than anything he ever did."

Sands was silent for a second before huffing and walking out to the balcony, grabbing his cigarettes along the way. Charlie sighed, following him out and saw him lighting up as he looked out at the city.

"I am trying."

"What is the point," Sands said. "Of attempting to do the right thing with you, even when I don't know what the right thing ever is, if you're already expecting me to screw up?"

"I'm not." Charlie said, walking over and stand next to him, though he wouldn't look at her. "I am just trying to protect myself."

"That's what I wanted to do, not be the fucking thing you have protect yourself from."

"I know that but I have been screwed over way too many times, Sands. If anything happens with you, whether your fault or mine, I don't think I'll cope." Sands finally looked at her. "I just…I had to let you know that. I love you and I…It makes it easier for you to hurt me, the same way it makes it easier for me to hurt you. I just want the truth to be out there, for both of us. No more games, no more revenge, I'm hoping if we're honest with each other, it'll make things easier which is why I said it."

Sands nodded. "You want the truth? I went to see your therapist before I came here."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"And she told me everything. I bribed her to. All the crap with your mom and your sister and your tool of an ex, absolutely everything you thought about me and…"

Charlie shook her head. "Don't."

"I bet I'd have some trouble finding daddy's grave."

"How dare you…"

"Why don't you pop a Zoloft? You'll feel a lot better, I'm guessing."

Charlie looked at him for a few seconds, not angry like Sands was expecting but completely devastated before walking back into hotel room and into her own room, shutting the door.

_That didn't go the way you wanted it to._ He thought to himself when he was alone.

_She wanted the truth, she got it._

Sands could try and make himself feel better but that look from her was the last thing he had been expecting. He had been annoyed and now he might have ruined everything.

_I suck at this relationship thing._

* * *

**Once again, I would just like to apologise about the long wait for this update(and the shorter than usual chapter) but with college and work, I've had very little time and I will admit, writing Sands in this chapter wasn't easy, trying to keep him in character. **

**Also, if people want a new chapter of Secrets based on what happens between the last chapter and this one, let me know. I'll write it if ye wish!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	36. Another Long Night

**To Jazzz: Thank you! No problem.**

**Here's Chapter 36!**

"Charlie, open the door."

"No."

Sands would have felt better if she sounded angry as opposed to the upset tone he heard from the other side of the door.

"We need to talk."

She didn't reply. She didn't want to talk. She didn't even want to look at him right now. She thought she was so lucky when Sands had listed out all the things their lives together would contain, the good and the bad. She didn't realise he'd left out the part where she was no longer allowed to have any privacy. And trust? She hadn't trusted him but she wanted to, was trying to and the first opportunity he had, he let her know how big of a mistake that was.

"Charlie, come on. I'm not staying here, begging you. We can talk like adults or not at all but I am not spending my life trying to get on the other side of the door."

Charlie still didn't reply.

"Fine." Sands huffed. "You want to act like a child? You can do it on your own."

Charlie snapped her eyes shut when a few seconds later, she heard the door slam shut.

She frowned when she heard it open again two seconds later.

"I am not storming out to go to a bar and giving you the satisfaction of being right! I'm calling room service!"

She couldn't resist rolling her eyes.

* * *

Sands was lounging out on the balcony, looking out at the city when he heard a door open behind him. He tried not to look behind him, let her come to him and thought he was succeeded when he heard footsteps. He realised he wasn't winning at all when he heard her door shut again.

_Fuck._

"Charlie?"

He didn't get a reply and walked back into the hotel room. "Charlie?"

There was no sign of her.

_Did she leave?_

"Charlie?" He walked over to her bedroom door. "Charlie, are you in here?"

Still no reply. Sands tried the door handle and the door opened. He walked in a little but didn't see her. He frowned before he heard the shower in the bathroom adjoined the room. He walked over and into the bathroom to see her blurred outline on the other side of the shower curtain as the water ran over her.

Charlie turned with a yelp of fright when the shower curtain was pulled back on her but calmed down once she realised it was Sands.

"Here's a tip, if you want to make me feel better, don't sneak up on me in the shower!" She huffed, turning off the water before grabbing a towel and wrapping it around herself.

"I was calling you!"

"I'm in the shower!"

"Oh Jesus, sorry I forgot that shower curtains are sound proof!" He said sarcastically.

Charlie rolled her eyes and stepped out of the shower. "Find someone else to fight with, Sands. I'm not in the mood."

"Good, then let's sort this fight out so we can go back to having sex."

"I'm not in the mood for that either."

"Then it's a good thing we're talking first."

"Fine." She said, turning to him. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I wanted answers."

"It's my life, Sands! If you ask questions and I don't answer them, you do not go to my fucking therapist! How the hell did you even know I had one"?

"I heard you say it at lunch with your mom and your sister."

Charlie looked at him, shocked. "Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. You were following me?"

"No. I was passing by that day when you had lunch with them and saw you waiting."

"So instead of driving on or coming face to face with me, you…"

"Sat a few tables back."

"Brilliant." She shrugged sarcastically. "Tell me, what answers were you seeking that were so important, you had to betray my trust…"

"Which I didn't have anyway."

"And probably never will." Charlie said, turning and walking into her bedroom.

"Is this really that big of a deal? So your therapist told me some crap I already knew! She also told me you didn't love me so it's not like I can trust her information."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"Mac…" Sands said, with a hint of pleading. But just a hint.

"What do you mean you already knew it? What did you know?"

"About your mom and stuff. And about Benny, Bobby, that general fuckmook area."

"And?" Charlie asked, knowing where it was going.

Sands was silent for a second before sighing. "So I knew your father was alive…"

"Of course you did because you know everything! No matter how private it is, you don't care as long as you get what you want, no one else matters…"

"Hey, it's not my fucking fault that he called your apartment when I was there! What was I supposed to do? And he was going on about wanting you to forgive him, wanting to see you, of course I was curious."

"You knew since then?" Charlie asked angrily. "Before you even got your eyes? So when you asked me in Malibu…"

"And you lied!"

"You already knew? You asshole!"

"No, I don't know anything! You told me he was dead!"

"He is to me!"

"And I can't stand not to know why!" Sands said, frustrated.

"Well, get used to it! It's my business and I haven't told anyone yet! I'm not going to anytime soon! Get over your stupid curiosity!"

"It isn't just curiosity! I have come up with a million and one things in my head that he could have done to you to make you hate him this much and every single one is not something I ever want to have happened to you! I need you to tell me I'm wrong!"

Charlie frowned. "What? You're…scared for me?"

"No, I'm not scared. I just want to know for certain what happened so I don't have to imagine different things."

"Don't imagine anything!"

"I have to because you won't talk about it!"

"And I never will, not with you."

"Not with your mom either."

"You talked about it with her?" Charlie shouted. "Oh God, this just keeps getting worse…"

"She brought him up! She…Oh wait no, I did…" Sands frowned, remembering.

"When? Where the hell was I?"

"At the wedding."

Charlie frowned. "The wedding?"

Sands remembered he hadn't exactly told Charlie that he'd met her mother before he saw her. "No, wait…"

"You lied to me about knowing my mother? And so did she…" Charlie shook her head but didn't say anything.

"But she didn't know what happened with your father either."

"Jesus, would you stop bringing that up?" She said angrily. "I have a fucked up relationship with my father, it's not too uncommon!"

"People aren't usually terrified of saying why!"

"I'm not terrified! I just don't tell anyone because it's personal!"

"So you never told him?"

"Him? Who's him?" Charlie frowned.

"You know who."

"Wait…Barry? You're seriously asking me this?"

"Did you?"

"No!"

Sands nodded but now felt like a bit childish for asking. They were both in silence for a while before Sands spoke.

"If you're waiting for an apology for going to your therapist…"

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I'm a little smarter than to expect one. That would mean you hold the slightest bit of regret for what you did and I really don't think you do."

Sands shrugged. "There's a reason you don't trust me. I wanted to know something; I tried to find it out. Oh, there's also the fact that I'm apparently going to cheat on you every chance I get…"

Charlie huffed. "I never said that, you know I didn't."

"No, you just felt you had to warn me for a laugh. I could only imagine how satisfied you'd be if I did leave a while ago."

"Yes, I would have been fucking ecstatic." Charlie said sarcastically. "I would have been doing cartwheels if you went out and fucked some random woman. You know me so well."

"Obviously not because you won't tell me a fucking thing."

"Oh my God, I've never told anyone, Sands! There are three people in the world who know and one is dead! Me, my father and my grandfather! No one else knows and no one else will ever know! It is not because I am terrified or because it's too fucking painful! It is because when people asked me, I've said it's personal and they know to drop it! So don't ask me anymore! Jesus, I never thought a plus in my relationship with Barry was that he never cared about my fucking life!"

Sands could see that he'd maybe pushed her a bit too far but that last comment made his anger take over his regret. "Oh, you want someone who doesn't give a fuck? I think I can manage that!" He stormed out of the room and to the main door. "Yeah, it's pretty fucking easy!" He shouted before walking out and slamming the door behind him.

Charlie stood stock still for a few seconds, trying to calm down before sitting on the bed and putting her head in her hand.

_Shit._

* * *

"Tequila. Very big tequila."

Sands sat at the bar of the hotel, no longer caring if it meant Charlie was right. All he cared about was getting drunk enough to forget what the hell he'd let happen to himself. The bartender passed him his drink and Sands took it.

"Not big enough but it'll have to do." He huffed.

"Is that an American accent, I hear?"

Sands turned to see a woman sitting down a few seats away from him. Leggy, mulatto skin, dark, flowing hair, attractive. She was everything he would have looked for before when sitting alone in a bar. Now he was sitting there for very different reasons.

"Yeah." He said, turning back to face the bar.

"Didn't think I'd be hearing one of those in Turkey." She said. "I guess I got lucky, huh?"

"Or else it's just because this is a hotel, and stay with me here, most of the people staying here would be from a different country, one of them being…You guessed it, America."

"So, you here for business or pleasure?" She asked, not being fazed by his rudeness.

Sands scoffed. "Both."

"Didn't think those two would work together."

"They don't."

"Well, I gotta be honest," She got up from her stool and sat down in the one next to his. "You don't seem to be indulging the pleasure aspect all that much if you're sitting on your own, drinking in a hotel bar late at night."

"Pot, kettle." He said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I'm here for business. I'm hoping to throw in a little pleasure too, though. Also, I don't have a drink."

"You should take care of that."

"I'm trying to." She smirked. "So, how long do I have to sit here all thirsty before you help me out?"

Sands smirked right back. "As long as it takes for you to tell me what you drink."

"Wine. Red."

Sands ordered her drink and another tequila and lime for himself.

She smiled at him. "Such a gentleman."

"Well, I try."

"Lauren." She said, holding out her hand.

"Sands." He shook it.

"No first name?"

_"Sugar, if this is going to happen, I'm going to need you do to me a favour."_

_"What?"_

_"Call me by my actual name."_

_"Sheldon…"_

Sands shook his head. "Not essential."

Laruen nodded. "Fair enough. So Sands, what do you do?"

"Does it matter?"

"So mysterious, I like it. Most guys can't wait to talk about themselves."

"I'm not like most guys."

Lauren brushed her knee against his thigh. "I can tell."

Sands smirked. "Is that a compliment?"

Laurens eyes travelled up and down him. "Oh yeah."

"So Lauren, why come over to a random guy and strike up conversation?" Sands asked, already knowing the answer. This wasn't the first time this had happened to him or he had done it to some random woman.

Lauren smirked. "You look like a guy who could cure my boredom. I think I'm the kind of girl who could make you forget about whatever made you come and sit and sulk in a bar on your own."

"Oh, you could?"

"Definitely." Her hand went to his thigh. "You look like you could use a good time. We could have a great time back in my hotel room. What do you say? Just a good night and no strings attached."

Sands' smirk dropped. This reminded him too much of when he met Charlie in the bar the first night they kissed.

_Charlie._

_Yes! Charlie! The woman you love!_

_The woman who I told I love three days ago and my life has already gone to shit. She expects me to do this. It's only fair I give her what she's expecting._

_It is not fair. You're going to cheat on her as revenge?_

_Isn't this who I am? Only in things for myself? I'm being offered a good night with no strings here. Charlie would never find out._

_What about when you don't come back? She'll know._

_Not if I lie convincingly enough. She'll never know if I don't want her to._

_That's not an excuse and you know it. There would be no excuse. You'd be the biggest asshole you've ever been and I'd see to it that you never forgive yourself._

_I've done a lot of unforgivable things; I've come to terms with them._

_There's only going to be one thing that'll sway your decision on this, Sheldon._

_Charlie._

"Come on, Sands. I'll give you a night you won't forget."

"Oh, I'm sure you will." Sands said and Lauren took it as a compliment since she didn't know of the thought process in Sands' head telling him he'd never forgive himself over spending the night with her instead of going back to his own room. Lauren squeezed his thigh.

"Sands, I want you, I'm pretty sure you want me. Are you coming?"

Sands didn't know. He could have a night of enjoyment instead of going upstairs to a woman who he didn't know if she'd be angry with him or make him feel guilty because she was devastated. Not too long ago by any means, he'd already be gone with Lauren out the door.

_Charlie._

"Sands, are you coming?"

Sands looked up at the attractive and willing woman in front of him. Was he?

_Shit._

_She was right._

* * *

Charlie lifted her head from her pillow when she heard the door open.

"Wow, the penthouse suite. I got lucky."

She frowned when she heard a woman's voice.

"Yeah, it's pretty nice."

_Sands?_

Charlie got off the bed and walked out of the bedroom to see Sands leading a woman further into the hotel room.

"Sands, what's going on?" She asked, not believing her eyes. Surely he wasn't this horrible.

"Who's this?" The woman frowned.

"This is Charlie," Sands said with a smile as if nothing were amiss. "My very beautiful girlfriend. I'm very much in love with her." Sands looked at Charlie. "Charlie, this is Lauren. We met downstairs in the hotel bar, talked for a while and she invited me to have sex. I brought her here to prove to you that I'm capable of saying no." He turned back to Lauren. "Thank you very much for the nice offer, Lauren, but as you can see, I've already found a woman who fulfils all my needs."

Lauren looked between the two of them, Sands looking proud and Charlie looking beyond shocked. "You two have some serious problems." She huffed before storming out of the room.

Sands watched her go before turning back to Charlie with a proud smirk. "See? Nothing to worry about. I even called you my girlfriend."

As Charlie walked closer, Sands thought she was going to kiss him or forgive him but he realised how wrong he was when she hit him. And then she hit him again and just kept hitting him until he managed to hold her off.

"Charlie, stop! Stop hitting me!"

"You want me to trust you based on that?" She shouted. "You left me here and spent the night flirting and drinking with another woman then brought her back to my hotel room, you psychopath!"

"I was proving a point! I am not going to fucking cheat on you!"

"Just get close enough to it and say no at the last second!"

"Believe me; I could have gotten a lot closer!"

Charlie hit him again. "This! This is why I hate you!" She shouted. "How the fuck do you expect me to trust you when you keep doing shit like this!"

"Because that's who I am!"

"So I just have to put up with it?" She was still shouting but trying to get out of his grasp. When she finally got free, she turned to him angrily, pushing him. "You get to be a dick and I have to accept that fact and be happy you didn't fuck another woman even though you got close enough to? I have to stand by and let you invade every aspect of my privacy all you want? I have to put up with all that shit because that's just who you are?"

"Pretty much."

Sands wasn't impressed when he felt a couch cushion connect with his head.

"Fuck you, Sands." She said, not shouting anymore as she walked back to her bedroom.

"Charlie, wait." He huffed, going after her. "Alright, I'm sorry about the girl! I thought I was making some fucking grand gesture. See? I'm apologising! I never fucking apologise!"

"And the therapist?" She huffed.

"I only did it because I needed to know if you loved me back. I didn't know because you wouldn't say it."

"Then you should have…"

"What?" Sands interrupted. "Asked you? I did. Many times and every time you wouldn't answer."

"And what would have happened if she said no? That I didn't? You wouldn't have come to find me?"

"She did say no!" He shouted. "She made it very clear you didn't love me! But oh look! I'm still fucking here!"

"Then why did you need to go to her to find out? Why not just come here?"

"I don't know! I just fucking needed to know because the only person I've ever cared for in my life is you and I need to know everything about everyone anyway and when I was looking for you, I realised I had no fucking clue who you are! She did! So I went to her."

"No, Sands. I know me! You could have asked me."

"I fucking tried! If I went to you, I would know your father is dead and that you were absolutely fucking fine after Mexico. Both lies."

"You know I wasn't fine after Mexico!"

"I didn't think you need to take drugs over it!"

"Oh please, they were prescription pills; I didn't become some addict…"

"Like your dad?"

Charlie looked at him with wide eyes before shaking her head. "Of course you know that too. Because you know fucking everything. You know more than I do, I bet."

"No. I don't know why you hate him."

"And you never will because the only people in the world who know are me and him and neither are telling."

"Charlie, what did he do?"

"No! Fuck you! You know absolutely everything else about me but that one I'm keeping! It's the one thing I have left. I know nothing about you." She said with tears in her eyes. "Nothing. I don't know where your family are, if you even still speak to them, what you were like in school, what made you want to be a CIA agent, nothing. Because you would never tell me. And I accepted that. I accepted that some things are personal and just because you don't tell me does not mean you don't trust me, it just means…That you don't want to talk about it."

"Yeah well, that's where we're different. Your father did something to hurt you and I can't stand not knowing what."

Charlie sunk to the floor, her back up against the sofa. "Please Sands, I am begging you, please stop. I never wanted to think about it ever again and you keep…You keep making me remember."

Sands huffed but didn't say anymore and the room descended into a tense silence.

A good while passed and neither were willing to break the silence. Neither would admit it but they were afraid if they said something, a bigger fight would carry on and it wouldn't end until they killed each other. Sands had a lot running through his head, mainly about why she wouldn't tell him about what happened between her and her father. It really annoyed him. Why couldn't she just tell him and ease his mind? Why was that so hard?

Sands got up and started walking away from her.

"Where are you going?" She asked quickly.

"To the bathroom, is that okay?"

Charlie didn't retort to his smart tone, just nodded and that was what made Sands realise she wasn't being bitchy, thinking he was leaving again. She had gotten nervous in case he would and instead of reassuring her, he'd been sarcastic with her.

_I've really gotta work on this._

When he came back from the bathroom, Charlie was lying on the couch as opposed to sitting up against it. Her eyes were closed but he knew she hadn't gone to sleep that quickly. Sure enough, when he sat down on the side of the side of the couch, she opened her eyes.

"Just answer me one thing." He said, looking down at her.

"Does it have to do with my father?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Charlie, just one question. Just so I can get it out of my head."

Charlie sighed. "What is it?"

Sands knew this was a risk but he had to ask, just to get it out of his head. "Did he…Charlie, did he…Hurt you?"

Charlie frowned. "Beat me? I think someone would have noticed the bruises."

"Not that way…" Sands went on, still unsure if this was a good road to go down.

Charlie copped on. She lifted herself slightly. "You think he abused me?"

"We're talking about a man who spent a lot of time coked up and completely out of it. You hear about these things. Just tell me."

Charlie sighed. "No. My father never abused me. He never laid a hand on me. Now that you know that, will you please drop it?"

"As long as you're telling me the truth."

"You think I'm lying?"

"I'm thinking that you freaked out so much when your scumbag ex put his hands on you too much. You weren't just scared, you were petrified. You couldn't move."

"I'm not lying." Charlie said. "My father never put his hands on me. That is not why we don't talk anymore."

"Okay," Sands nodded, happy to at least get that out of his head. "Okay. That…That's good."

"Do you feel better now?" Charlie asked.

"Immensely."

Charlie was silent for a second. "That's really what you thought it was?"

"It was one of many unpleasant theories."

Charlie sat up properly and placed her hand against his cheek and Sands brought his lips to hers. She lay back properly so they were both lying on their sides as the kiss continued. When they parted, Sands kissed her forehead as she placed a hand on his chest.

"I hate that I might have put that thought in your head." Charlie said, not looking into his eyes.

"I don't know what to think and I just couldn't get how you acted when that fuckmook attacked you out of my head…"

"Why don't you ever call him by his proper name?" She asked. "I know you're not stupid enough to not know you get it wrong all the time."

"Yeah, I know it's Billy."

"Sands…"

"I nearly killed him."

Charlie frowned, looking up at him. "What?"

"I wanted to. You have no idea how much I wanted to. And I'm not talking about figuratively; I mean I literally nearly shot that guy."

"Why?"

"I hate him." Sands shrugged. "Absolutely downright hate him. The thought of the guy makes me so angry and I thought if I went to his door or climbed in a window... No one would know it was me, how could they? As far as anyone but you is concerned, I don't know the guy exists. I could so easily have gotten away with it. I seriously considered it. That's how much I hate him."

Charlie frowned. "Just because he treated me badly?"

"No."

"Oh, thanks." She said sarcastically.

"Because he had you at all." Sands admitted, making Charlie look at him. "You're the first person I've ever cared about and you can't say the same about me. He got ten years with you. Ten years! And I might not even get a week, depending on how this shit goes down. I know I've done a lot of bad things which I don't regret and probably don't deserve even a week of being happy with you because of that but it ain't fair, sugar. I want you all to myself and the only reason we ended up together was because I tried to talk you out of going back for him. I just…I really hate that guy."

"Sands, we're together because I love you and you love me, not because of him."

"I remember when I called you that night, right before the reviews in Florida and it turned out he was there. I wasn't expecting to feel as angry as I did. I definitely didn't expect the jealousy, knowing he was with you and he could do whatever he wanted with you and I was getting pushed away whenever I kissed you…"

"Not always. Actually, barely. I always kissed you back."

"It wasn't enough. I wanted you to myself."

"You have me now."

"Yeah, and for how long?"

"For as long as possible." Charlie said. It was all she could say in answer to that question. Neither were sure.

"That's not good enough for me." Sands huffed. "When you broke up with him, I thought all my Christmases had come at once."

Charlie smiled sadly. "I was telling the truth about why I did it, you know."

"I know, I know, you didn't break with him because of me. I realised that after five seconds of talking to you but when Melissa told me to take it easy on you because you might be feeling low, I felt like tap dancing. If I could have tap danced. Which I can't. And I wouldn't have if I could have. That would have been weird…"

Charlie shushed him. "Not every nice thought needs to be coupled with sarcasm or humour."

"It does for me." He said before looking down at her and sighing. "I thought that was it. I was finally going to get you and then when I realised that could actually happen, I took the easy way out…"

"Right out my front door…"

"And into Waitrose's office." Sands said, knowing that was what she was thinking. "I didn't even see the harm in it. If I wasn't having sex with you, there shouldn't have been anything wrong with having sex with her. Until you caught me. Then I realised what a fucked up thing to do that was. It really screwed my chances for a while."

"Yeah, a whole six hours until you were in my bed again." Charlie smiled.

"I don't like remembering that night so if we could not talk about it…"

Charlie frowned. "Why? Why do you hate that night?"

"When you were trying to act all business about sex? That's never what I wanted from you. I wanted you invested. I wouldn't admit at the time that it was because deep down, I was invested. The thought that you were willing to sleep with me just to get me to leave you alone, it ain't a good feeling."

"It was an act."

"I realised that later but it was still horrible."

"I just wanted you to admit you cared." Charlie said, her voice quiet.

"I know but I was still denying it to myself so it was hardly going to be a smooth ride."

"And yet a few days later, you were sure you loved me?"

"A lot happened in those few days; it felt like a few years."

"What made you admit it?"

Sands frowned. "That I loved you? The fact that you wanted to run back to America to save that jackass."

Charlie shook her head. "Not to me, to yourself. You just said you were trying to deny that you even cared for me, how could you go from that to knowing you loved me?"

Sands sighed. "I don't know. We were having sex, you killed Lupe for me, it was all going so fast... And then everything stopped. We were in Lupe's bed, you were asleep and everything was quiet and I was lying there, thinking about you and what had happened between us and I couldn't deny it anymore. There was no point in using the fact that I never saw you against it because it didn't matter…"

"It had to have mattered a little."

"No, it should have but it didn't. I love things about you that I've never even considered with anyone else…You could look like the Elephant Man and I'd still think you're fucking gorgeous because I fell in love with you before I saw you."

"And yet tonight, you went out and found some model looking woman…"

"And turned her down for you."

"Did you consider it?" Charlie asked.

Sands frowned. "What?"

"If she thought you two were coming up here to have sex, well then she obviously thought you wanted it and agreed to it. So, did you consider it at all?"

"Do you want the nice answer or the truth?"

Charlie nodded, understanding that he wasn't really giving her the choice.

"I considered it. For a few minutes."

Charlie was still for a second before getting up, making sure to knee him hard in the abdomen and as she got off the couch and away from him.

Sands let out a 'oomph' of pain before getting up. "Charlie…"

He felt another cushion from the other couch hit him in the face. Sands huffed but didn't throw it back at her like he wanted to. He probably deserved it. "I was angry but I remembered what you said and I wasn't ruining what I have with you."

"But if I hadn't made that clear and you thought I might forgive you, you would have chanced it?"

"I can't answer that."

Charlie ran a hand through her hair. "I need more cushions."

"No, stop hitting me."

"It's hard not to when you act like such an asshole."

"Isn't it amazing when Lupe was willing to let you go, you shot her without a problem and I tell you I love you and you hit me with precision but in a shooting range with someone coaching you, you're shit. I guess the person has to be nice to you to get you to want them dead."

"Wow, you got me. I killed Lupe because I didn't appreciate she was doing me a favour, no other reason. Thanks, Sands." She said, getting up and walking away.

"No, wait." Sands grabbed her arm as she tried to walk away, standing in front of her. "If I told you I wouldn't have considered it, you'd know I was lying. Where would that get us?"

"Nowhere. We seem to be stuck there anyway."

"I could tell you that I wouldn't have thought of accepting her offer in a million years but you know I'd be lying since the second I realised I cared about you, I had sex with someone else and while I loved you, I had sex with a lot of other women. And I considered it when you had told me which doesn't bode well for what would have happened if you hadn't."

"So when you told me you loved me and wanted to be with me, you meant 'I love you and want to be with you only until you piss me off or until someone better comes along'? Oh okay, sorry for the misunderstanding." Charlie said sarcastically before pulling her arm out of his grasp and walking away.

"Charlie? You wanted me to be honest, I'm trying to be." He said, getting up to go to the bottle of tequila he'd gotten up from room service a while ago and pouring a glass of it. He turned back to her. "Believe me; I can lie all too easily if that's what you want."

Charlie put her hand to her forehead in frustration, he was so casual about this, before turning around to face him. "No, I need you to stop talking. Just stop talking. Altogether. I am trying to think of why I want to be with you more than I want to tell you to go fuck yourself and I can't do it if you're talking because every time you do, you piss me off more."

"Charlie…"

"Stop talking."

"Would you just…"

"No! Shut the fuck up!"

She turned to walk into her bedroom flinched when she heard the crashing of glass against the wall.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" She shouted when she realised the smashed pieces on the ground used to be bottle Sands was holding.

"You fucking frustrate me!" He shouted.

"So you throw a bottle at me?"

"Oh, stop. If I threw it at you, it would have hit you."

Charlie ran her hands through her hair in frustration. The crying that she was trying to hold back was overwhelming her was from the same feelings. "I can't do this. It's been three days and it's already too fucking hard! Normal people just say I love you and I love you too and they're together! We took three fucking days to set ground rules and look at us! Who the fuck has to set ground rules before going into a relationship? Who the fuck has this big a fight at the beginning of a relationship? No one! Because if it starts off this bad, nobody is fucking stupid enough to stay together!"

"So what are you saying? You're done? Already?"

"Give me a reason not to be!" She challenged. "It's four in the fucking morning and we're standing in a hotel room, you're throwing bottles at walls and I'm crying my eyes out! How the fuck is this going to start to work? We'll kill each other if someone else doesn't kill us first!"

"Or else you stop yelling at me all the time and hitting me when you get angry and we go back to the way we were when you weren't acting batshit crazy!

"I'm the one who's acting crazy? You just said you might cheat on me!"

"Oh, don't act so sanctimonious, sugar. I wasn't the one in a relationship when we started this up so maybe you shouldn't be the one judging."

Charlie had no reply to that. She couldn't even look him in the eye. How had they gotten like this so quickly?

Sands realised he'd maybe gone too far when he saw her face. He'd have to learn how not to cross lines with her, he wasn't used to restraining himself if he wanted to say something. "I shouldn't have said that. That was going too far."

Charlie turned and walked towards the door.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" He frowned.

"For a walk." She said shortly.

"Dressed like that?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow seeing as she was only wearing gym shorts and a black top.

"I don't really care."

"It's the middle of the night."

"I'm aware of what time it is."

"You should be aware of the fact that you're not going anywhere."

"I can make my own decisions."

Sands walked over to her quickly as she got to the door and wrapped his arms around her while lifting her off the floor. "No, ain't letting that happen."

Charlie tried to struggle against him but he was too strong for her. "Let me go!"

"Have you forgotten why you're here?" Sands said sarcastically. "Someone is trying to kill you and believe it or not, going out alone at night heightens their chances."

"I won't leave the hotel." Charlie replied, still struggling. "I just don't want to be around you now."

Sands threw her onto the couch roughly. "Fine, if you don't give a fuck about your own safety then why the hell should I? Good luck." He stayed and waited for her to leave but she didn't get up. "Bye?"

Charlie got up and left the room, shutting the door behind her but she barely got five steps before Sands was dragging her back in.

"Fine, you called my bluff. Get inside."

"Sands, leave me alone!"

Sands got her inside and shut the door with a huff. "I did not drag my ass all the way out here, confessing shit I would never have confessed before so you could be careless and dead. From now on, you don't leave this room unless it's with me."

"What? That's…"

"Necessary!" Sands yelled, throwing her away again. "It's fucking necessary if you want to survive so cut the pride bullshit with the fight and think for a second! This has nothing to do with us; it's about keeping you and consequently myself, alive! I fucking knew it was a mistake bringing personal feelings into this…"

"A mistake?"

"What the fuck else do you call this night? I'm here to protect you and I've been pretty fucking lousy at it so far because I'm too focused on how you feel about me or us or whatever. I've spent the last three days having sex with you and fighting with you when I should have been trying to figure out who's trying to kill you! Well not anymore. You don't want a relationship with me? Fucking fine, do what you want but I'm putting my foot down when it comes to where you go and who you're around. That's the main reason I'm here."

Sands walked further into the hotel room and sat down and Charlie was still for a second before following him in. She sat across from him again and neither spoke. The rest of the night was spent in a tense silence.

* * *

Charlie woke up after a few hours lying on the couch and looked across to see Sands still asleep on the other one. The sun was rising now and Charlie was about to go in and get changed to head downstairs before she remembered Sands' new rule. Did she wake him up? She didn't want to, if she was being honest. If not so another fight wasn't started, it was because he looked peaceful and she didn't want to disturb that.

_I could just run down and get the newspapers. It'd take all of two minutes and he'd never know._

Charlie decided to do that, not even getting changed out of her pyjamas, and left the room quietly. It was true that she could have easily gotten the newspapers Sands had ordered for every morning to keep up with news sent up to the room but she needed to get out of that room for even just a few minutes.

Charlie left the hotel room and walked through the halls and got in an elevator. She went down a few floors before the elevator stopped again and opened to let someone else in. Charlie froze when she saw it was the woman from the night before getting in and she did the same when she saw Charlie before walking in and pressing a button. Both stayed silent but the tension was immense.

"I…" Charlie began. "I'm sorry about what Sands did last night."

"Hey, you're the one who has to put up with that shit on a daily basis, not me. I was only mortified once."

"Yeah well, it didn't work the way he wanted it to if that makes you feel better."

"You know, I don't think I can feel better because some guy spends a night lying to me and making me think something is going to happen only to find out that's he's been using me the entire time just to make his girlfriend feel loved. It's a little too sick and twisted for my taste but if you find that side of him lovable, you both need therapy because you're just as fucked up as each other."

The elevator hit the ground floor and the door opened. Lauren looked at Charlie. "You look like shit, you know." She said before she walked out. It was probably true considering the night she had and the little sleep she had gotten but Charlie didn't care. She didn't leave the elevator, instead pressing the button for the top floor. She'd only taken notice of one thing Lauren said.

"…_Just to make his girlfriend feel loved."_

Was it perfect? No but neither was Sands. She still loved him and in his own psychotic way he was trying to show he loved her. They had just spent one of the worst nights in both of their lives and both had walked out and both had claimed that they didn't want to be with the other anymore but even though Sands left, he came back. Even though Charlie claimed to not want to be around him, she didn't lock herself in her bedroom like she could have. They both stayed and fought through it just because they wanted to be together more than they wanted to be apart.

When the elevator got to her floor, Charlie got out and walked back into her hotel room. Instead of focusing on the mess, she walked straight over to Sands who was still asleep on the couch. She crouched down and shook him gently.

"Sands, wake up."

Sands jumped awake. "What?" He focused properly and saw her. "Charlie? What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." She said before taking his hand. "We're going to bed."

Sands frowned before getting up and letting her lead him into her bedroom. She crawled onto the bed and he joined her as they both lay down, her lying on his chest. She closed her eyes and Sands looked down at her for a while before doing the same.

* * *

**I have a feeling this is just the first of many long nights of fights for these two.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	37. Figuring Things Out

**Here's Chapter 37!**

Sands woke up a few hours later with Charlie nestled in his arms. It was weird. He was never really one for spooning or letting a woman cuddle into him but with her, he preferred it.

After a while of just looking down at her and wondering where the hell they were in terms of their relationship, he saw Charlie stir.

"Sugar? You awake?" He asked.

Charlie opened her eyes but didn't look up at him straight away.

"I'll be honest, sugar, I'm not quite sure how we ended up in the same bed after last night. Were you sleepwalking when you dragged me in here?"

"No." Charlie replied, still not looking at him.

"Drunk?"

Charlie sat up and looked down at him. "I was just tired of fighting."

"I hate to be the voice of common sense but I remember that fight ending last night, when you said you were done with us and I agreed."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Charlie frowned.

"If I recall correctly, you broke up with me last night so the real question is, is that still how you feel?"

"No." She replied honestly. "But that's obvious from when I dragged you in here. Though if I recall correctly, you were the one who said we shouldn't have brought personal feelings into this so I guess it's up to you."

Sands sat up too. "I wasn't wrong when I said that things were getting in the way of finding who's trying to kill you. We haven't exactly been very focused."

Charlie nodded, knowing where this was going. "If that's what you want…"

She went to get off the bed but Sands grabbed her arm. "But I'd be a fool to get the three days we've just had and then give them up."

She had to admit, that took Charlie by surprise.

"Fight included."

"Really?"

"I wouldn't have stayed through that shit last night for anyone else."

Charlie nodded. "I know that. I wouldn't have either."

"You didn't. You tried to run out."

Charlie frowned at him.

"What? You did."

"You stormed out too, hours before I did. And when you came back, you had another…" Charlie huffed, stopping herself. "I'm not doing this again. I don't want to fight."

Sands shrugged. "So does someone apologise or what? I'm new to this shit."

"That's how it works, usually."

"Well, this isn't your usual situation."

"So, what do we do?"

* * *

"_Aman Tanrim…"_

The cleaning lady froze at the door when she walked inside the penthouse suite the next day to see the disarray strewn around the room. Glass was shattered on the floor, cushions were thrown around the place, there was liquid spilled, the balcony doors were left open, the sofas were askew as if they had been pushed and the inhabitants of the room didn't seem to be anywhere in sight. What had happened in here?

She continued into the room, wondering what the hell had gone in here and where to begin cleaning everything up. She got an even bigger shock when she walked into one of the bedrooms and found the inhabitants of the room who had evidently been too busy to hear her coming in. She rushed back out of the bedroom and out of the hotel room all together as Charlie hid her face in the crook of Sands' neck, completely embarrassed.

"What's she screaming about?" She asked, her voice muffled.

"Something about not using the 'Do Not Disturb' sign." Sands smirked. "She probably has a point."

"You think?" Charlie was mortified but Sands didn't seem too bothered at their interruption. "What do you think she saw?"

Sands looked their position up and down as Charlie was straddling him. "Everything would be a pretty good guess."

"Oh God…I'm getting dressed."

She went to get off him but Sands held her tightly so she couldn't. "No, we're finally enjoying ourselves."

"You can't possibly expect me to still feel turned on after being interrupted by the maid?"

"If I can do it, so can you."

Charlie chuckled. "Nice try." She got off him and put on a robe, wrapping it around herself.

"Wait, wait, wait, getting out of bed? I never agreed to that." Sands frowned.

Charlie looked back at him over her shoulder which made him want to drag her back into bed. "It's time to get up. As tempting as lying around in bed all day is, nothing gets done and when people are trying to murder you, it's good to be productive."

"Hey, I am the one who has been the victim of murder plots, I'll tell you how it's done and believe me, sex is a great stress reliever."

"How would you know that?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "You have sex a lot on your missions?"

Sands smirked. "Getting jealous already?"

"Apparently I have no reason to be. The only reason you bring girls up to your room is to embarrass them."

"It made my point." He said with a shrug. "Caused hours of killing each other but my point was made." He pulled her back and began kissing her neck. He smirked when he heard Charlie leave out a sigh of pleasure at the feeling. The smirk disappeared when she pushed him away and got back up.

"No, stop. I'm not letting you distract me with kissing." She got off the bed. "I'm going for a shower. So should you, it might clean up those thoughts of yours." She smirked.

"Impossible."

"Get out of my bed."

"Fine. Before that though…" Sands grabbed her and pulled her back onto the bed.

"For God's sake, Sands…"

"I'm not trying to sleep with you, shut up." He said with a huff. "I want to ask you some more questions."

"Oh. About what?"

"I looked into this Kevin Roberts guy you fired."

"And?"

"I don't think he's behind this. He already has another job and he's engaged, too much to risk with too little payoff."

"Okay." Charlie sighed. "I figured that was a long shot, anyway."

"You gotta think, sugar. Anyone else who might have a grudge against you?"

"I don't know who'd focus on me this much. I'm just like furniture, I blend in."

"That's definitely not true." Sands said with a raised eyebrow, looking down at her.

"Oh please, you never noticed me before you went blind either. I just can't think of anyone who would try this hard to kill me."

"I would say your psycho ex but he's missing and not in the CIA."

Charlie suddenly remembered something that had happened quite a while back. "Sands, there's something I never told you."

"If you say you were born a man…"

Charlie hit him in the arm.

"Ow! What didn't you tell me?"

"Remember the night before you went into hospital? How you ended up staying with me?"

"Your asshole ex attacked you."

"He didn't attack…" Charlie huffed. "Before you got there, he was talking a lot."

"So?"

"Some of the things he said, they made me suspicious."

"Like what?"

"He knew you were my patient and that you had thrown my phone out the window in Florida."

Sands shrugged. "He put two and two together. He's a moron but not completely brain dead."

"I never told him I had a blind patient. He just knew you were my patient with absolutely no reason to."

"Okay…"

"He also knew I was meant to be on a plane that night and I'd never told him that. He said my mom told him."

"Did she?"

"I never asked. Mainly because he also knew instead of being on a plane, I had gone to your place instead."

Sands frowned. "How did he know it was my place?"

"Exactly. He said that he'd heard us talking outside but who knows if he was telling the truth?"

"Why the fuck am I only hearing about this now?" Sands asked. "You didn't think any of this was important before?"

"Sands, I don't think he's behind this, he can't be. He's currently missing and he has nothing to do with the CIA, we both know that. It's just…What if someone was giving him information to make him angry with me?"

"Trying to convince him to kill you? I guess it makes sense, he went batshit crazy enough to attack you, who knows where that would have ended if I didn't get there?"

"Not convince him to kill me but provided him with a motive so if I disappear or was found dead, the police would go straight to the ex and no CIA would have to get involved."

"Use Benny as a scapegoat. Clever."

"And now he knows too much so he's conveniently gone missing the same time I have, either to draw me out or to make sure he can't reveal anyone's secret."

"So you're saying we find the scumbag, we find the killer?" Sands asked.

"It just might be something to go on." She shrugged.

"It's definitely that." Sands nodded. "Okay, I'm going to take a shower and then I'm going out."

"Out where?"

"Just out."

"Well, if it's just out then I could go with you." She shrugged.

"No, I want you staying here."

Charlie sighed. "Sands, I haven't left this hotel room in what seems like forever."

"You left yesterday. Do you not remember the shooting range?"

"I'm getting cabin fever."

"You have to stay in here because you're safe. I'll be back soon and I'll take away your boredom." He smirked.

"Come on, Sands, can't I come along? I'm beginning to feel all I do anymore is have sex and then sit around. Mainly because that's all I am doing."

"What's wrong with sex?"

"Nothing but I have a brain too, I'd like for it not to turn to mush any time soon."

"Read a book, you'll be fine."

"That's another thing. Don't think I haven't noticed how you keep all the newspapers away from me. You promised you wouldn't keep anything from me."

"I'm not. Nothing is happening."

"Then why can't I go outside?"

"You can. When I'm with you."

"When you're with me, all you want to do is have sex."

"I haven't heard you complaining. Look, I won't be long. Just promise me you'll stay here. I don't trust anyone with you so make my job that little bit easier."

"Where are you going?"

"Just to see some people I know, see if there's any news."

"And if there is?"

"It would depend on the news."

"If we've been found?"

"We'll be on a plane tonight. That'll get you out of here. Until that moment comes, would you just make my job a little bit easier and stay where you are?"

Charlie huffed. "Fine. I won't leave this room."

Sands kissed her. "You're a dream target, sugar."

"I think you mean hostage."

"Better a hostage than a dead woman."

* * *

"Any news for me?"

"Not much since that Roberts guy was a bust."

"Well, remember I told you about her ex?"

"Yeah, I kinda gave up on him when he went missing." The ex-crooked cop turned detective that Sands had found before he left, said on the other end of the phone.

"He's now your main focus."

"What? He's missing."

"I understand that. That doesn't mean he's not involved. He's got something to do with this, I know it."

"The guy's been missing for days!"

"Doesn't matter, he's involved somehow." Sands said. Sands had always had Barry in the back of his mind but didn't take it too seriously. After what Charlie had told him this morning, though? The more Sands thought about it, the fact that Barry had gone missing the same time Charlie did seem more like a trick to get her to come back to America, but what if it turned out to be his trick all along? "I can read people and that guy reads all kinds of shady. What did you find out before you stopped looking?"

"That guy comes from a completely normal background. Moved to Malibu at fourteen after his parents got divorced, lived with his mom, went to school, met the girl and moved to Virginia with her, got work at odd jobs and they lived happily ever after. Until you came along."

"Believe me; it was long before I came along that the fairy tale turned sour." Sands tried to think. He would have had to have a lot of money to bribe Hobbs to kill Sands and that kind of money didn't come from 'odd jobs'. "What about his family background? What do his parents do?"

"Mom's a swanky wedding planner."

That explained how Gwen met his mother to introduce Charlie to him. "The dad?"

"Haven't found anything yet."

"Keep looking and send me on anything you find. You got my email?"

"Yeah. SlytherinRocks98. Definitely no one's going to expect that freaky shit having important stuff sent to it…No one sends important documents to a fourteen year old girl."

"That's the plan. Also, shut up."

"Where are you anyway?"

Sands looked around the Greek town he'd gone to just to make that call.

_Keeping my phone and any traceable sign of me out of Turkey._

"You don't need to know."

* * *

Sands came back to the room later that night to find all the lights out, save for the light coming from the television where a movie was playing. He walked over to the couch and found Charlie lying down, after falling asleep. He turned on the lamp on the table as he sat down on the side of the chair and shook her gently.

"Mac, wake up."

Charlie stirred awake and looked up at it groggily. "What time is it?"

"Two."

Charlie nodded but didn't say anything.

Sands looked at the television where the movie was still playing before looking down at her. "Pretty Woman?"

"I like it."

"Pretty Woman, Breakfast at Tiffany's, what is it with you and prostitutes? You have some secret role play fantasy because I'm telling you right now; I'd be up for that."

"It's actually the romance aspect of those movies I like but thanks for ruining them for me forever."

"Didn't take you for one to buy into all that romantic bullshit but whatever floats your boat."

"Some of us less cynical people don't see it as bullshit."

"Yeah, right. When has anything like what happens in those movies ever happened to someone you know in real life?"

Charlie sat up. "Got me there. Romantic moments have never really been a factor in my life except for those movies, maybe that's why I like them so much. Well, I'm going to go to bed."

"Wait," Sands said, pushing her back onto the couch with him. "What do you mean romantic moments never happen in your life? What the hell have I been doing with you all along?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Sands, I love you but romantic is not what I'd call anything we've ever been."

It still jarred Sands to hear her say she loved him casually so it took him a second to shake himself out of it. "Oh, really? Me chasing after you for months…"

"For sex."

"And then the motel room that night, in the rain…"

"Hooking up after being kidnapped."

"And coming out here to keep you safe."

"Necessary precaution since you prefer me alive to dead."

"None of that was romantic? Sugar, our relationship has been pretty damn…"

"Pornographic?"

Sands looked at her tiredly.

"I'm not complaining." Charlie shrugged. "It's just the truth. Our relationship consists of fighting and sex, just because there's no romance doesn't mean it doesn't work. It does. Sometimes."

"I am capable of being romantic. I drove all the way to Malibu just to see you."

"And then you ran away from me. That didn't make me feel like Audrey Hepburn, more Shrek…"

"Well, you were wearing green…"

Charlie slapped his arm.

"Ow!"

She sighed. "I'm sorry I said anything. Just drop it. Now, I'm going to bed."

Sands frowned. "You're not going to ask where I was all this time?"

"Do you want me to?"

"I just thought you'd be pissed that I was gone for eighteen hours and didn't call once."

"Well then, you should have called if you thought I'd be pissed."

"Or that I didn't tell you where I was."

"I don't know if you would or wouldn't yet. I haven't asked."

"Good point."

"Where were you?"

"I can't say."

"Now I'm pissed."

Sands frowned. "What? Why?"

"You promised you wouldn't keep anything from me."

"That you needed to know."

"I don't need to know where you were for eighteen hours?"

"No."

Sands got up and began to walk away but Charlie's voice stopped him.

"I'm scared."

"Then turn a light on once in a while."

"Sands…"

He turned back to her with a sigh. "You'd be a fool not to be. For a while, I thought you were. You didn't even seem to register what happening."

"I know. I've been trying to lose myself in other things like sex or fighting and trying to keep my mind off what's really happening. Someone is trying to kill me, Sands and I don't know why. That's what's terrifying me. I have no idea why I'm a target so I have no clue as to who it could be."

"I'm trying…"

"I know. I know you are but I can't even help and nothing's happening…"

Sands huffed. "Nothing's happening because I've been too busy trying to get you into bed instead of finding out who is trying to kill you. I hate to say it but it's gonna have to stop if we ever want to go home."

To be honest, Sands thought that if he left his detective at it while he enjoyed himself with Charlie, he'd get some news in a few days. Now he realised that using other people wasn't going to work this time, he was going to have to do the work himself. That meant no more lying around the hotel room, waiting for news.

"I never thought you'd be the one to say that." Charlie said with a half-smile though it wasn't very convincing.

"Yeah well, I would like what's been happening lately to happen for a lot longer and that'll be a little hard if you're not around. I would also like that life to be back home."

Charlie nodded though something was on her mind. "Home…"

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Well, where is home exactly? Do you think the CIA will let you keep your job after this? I mean, say the best outcome of all of this does come true which is that someone in the CIA has gone rogue, the CIA knows nothing about it and when they find out, they're on our side…"

"I'm liking it so far…"

"But when this is all over, you still have to contend with the fact that you left a fellow agent in the lurch who died and abandoned a mission to come out here and protect me, someone who has nothing to do with the CIA anymore. You've proven you're willing to put someone else before the job. I think they frown upon that. Add that to what happened in Mexico…"

"Wow, and I thought you were bad last night…" Sands muttered.

"I don't want to make you feel bad," Charlie said truthfully. "I'm just thinking of the reality of the situation."

"You're only focusing on the parts where my life gets ruined."

"I'm sorry but…"

"What about you?"

Charlie frowned. "What about me?"

"Say we get the good outcome and I manage to keep my job, what are you going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you going to move back to Virginia?"

That threw Charlie. "I don't know."

"Well, if we're going to be together, it'll be pretty damn hard if you live in a different state."

"I know but my job…"

"You don't have a job."

Charlie sighed. "I did, before…"

"I'm asking because I think by now, you're probably after being declared missing back home. No contact with anyone, no sign of you…It's a safe bet. If we do get home like we did in Mexico, I have no doubt that New York is going to be on the phone again."

"You don't know that…"

"Newsflash sugar, we don't know anything. This is all speculation. I'm asking what are you going to do if this does happen. I'll be in Virginia, where are you going to be?"

"If you do get fired, would you come to New York with me?"

"If I get fired, I'm probably getting arrested too."

"Speculation. Would you?"

"Yes." Sands shrugged.

"Are you only saying yes because you know you don't have to tell the truth?"

"Who knows? I can say yes but when it really comes down to it, I have no fucking clue. What's more likely is you having to give up that job to move to Virginia and I'm asking, would you?"

"Why do I have to give up my job instead of you?"

"You haven't even started it yet!"

"Your job is trying to kill me! You really want to still work for them after everything we've been put through?"

"If it's the entire CIA behind it, we're both dead anyway!"

Charlie sighed. "Are we insane for having this conversation?"

"Sure but it's the way we work. We talk and argue about shit, come to a conclusion about it and then when the time comes, we do something completely different anyway and make all the headaches pointless."

"I meant…" Charlie huffed. "We're trying to act like everything will be fine when we go back to America because it's nicer to deal with than the more likely outcome."

Sands realised she was right. They were looking for issues that weren't anywhere near important to argue about so they wouldn't have to focus on the reality of the situation. He sat back down on the couch and pulled her onto his lap. "I am going to do everything I can to make sure that we have a lot more arguments in the future."

Charlie frowned.

"You know, because we'll both be around."

"Oh, I get it." She nodded.

"It just means that, for now, I'm going to be gone a lot and you're not going to know where. It also means you're going to have to stay in here when I do because I'll know you're safe."

"What if someone finds me here when you're gone?"

"Sugar, if you think I don't have people watching this place, you're insane. You're protected here. I can't guarantee that if you're wondering around out in the town."

"Even with you?"

"Trust me; you'd be more bored with me than you would be in here without me."

"Why can't I know where you go?"

Sands huffed. "I was in Samos."

"Samos? In Greece?"

"Yeah, you can get a boat across, doesn't take too long and if I get caught looking for information there, no one will suspect you being here."

"Why were you looking for information there?"

"I wasn't. I was using my phone and…"

Charlie frowned at him. "You were using your phone? What do you mean you were using your phone? I thought you were trying not to get caught?"

"I was, I am. Look, I have someone back home checking things out for me, someone who has nothing to do with the CIA."

"Who?"

"Just some detective. He's been looking into a few things."

"Like Kevin? That's how you realised he wasn't behind it?"

"It was part of it."

"Who else can he look into? I mean, I can't imagine it's easy to get information on anyone in the CIA, no matter how good of a detective you are."

This was why Sands didn't want to indulge her asking questions; because soon he was going to get a question he couldn't answer without her wanting to kill him. "Just some people."

"What people? If they're trying to kill me…"

"Your ex."

"What?" Charlie frowned. "Sands, we spoke about this, it can't be him. He's missing."

"How can you be sure about that? It could be a trap. The more I think about it, the more I think it is."

"Just because of what I told you this morning?"

"He was an option before that but what you said this morning made it more plausible."

"No, it didn't! He has nothing to do with the CIA. How would he even know about or get access to Hobbs? How would he kill him?"

"Whoever is behind this didn't kill Hobbs themselves. I guarantee you whoever is behind this is getting the work done without their hands ever getting dirty which means it could be him."

"Oh come on, he's nowhere near capable of doing this. Do you remember the file the CIA had on me? Why would they have that if Barry is behind all this?"

"I never said he was working alone, of course he isn't."

"But to even get near someone in the CIA. Sands, he never knew I worked there. I was careful all the time."

"You were with him for ten years, you never let something slip?"

"No!"

"Charlie, you don't believe he could be doing this because you think you know him, not because of those questions."

"Yeah Sands, I know him and I'd know if he had connections to the CIA."

"Would you? People lead double lives all the time, sugar."

Charlie was silent for a second, processing that sentence. "No, they don't!"

"Well, the people we associate ourselves with do."

"The people in the CIA and we know who they are. How could neither of us know about him being involved in the place we both worked?"

"Work, I still work there." Sands hoped that was true even if it was highly unlikely.

Charlie looked at him tiredly.

"He's an option. Just an option."

Charlie sighed and got up off Sands' lap. "I'm going to bed. I just got an almighty headache."

Sands got up too and followed her. "Charlie, this isn't a big deal. So my guy looks into him and if he finds nothing, then that's it. It's not like I put a hit out on him."

"You don't get it."

"You're right, I don't get it. I don't get why you constantly defend the guy!"

"Stop being jealous! I am not defending him; I am trying to tell you why I think you're wasting your time."

"I'm the agent; I know how to handle these situations better than you do."

"If that were true, I wouldn't be feeling so scared all the time because you fuck off for hours on end!"

Sands frowned. "I fuck off for hours on end to try and protect you!"

"I know! That doesn't make me any less scared when I'm on my own! I'm sorry, I'm not like you. I'm not used to this. I spent weeks on my own before you came out here and every time, I thought that I could be killed or taken at any moment. I'm not used to not feeling that way when you're not here."

Sands sighed, walking over to her and wrapping his arms around her waist. "Charlie, no one is going to hurt you. I'm going to make sure of it."

"You can't guarantee anything, no matter how much we both wish you could." Charlie said and Sands knew it was true. "I know you think not telling me anything is protecting me but not knowing anything is only making me feel more scared. You going out for hours and hours on end and being trapped in here without a clue as to where you are or if you're coming back is making me scared."

"I'm always coming back."

"Not if someone finds you." She said.

"Charlie, you have to trust me. I know you don't when it comes to us but as an agent, you have to be able to trust me."

Charlie stayed silent.

"Oh wow," Sands said when she didn't respond. "You still don't trust me, do you?"

"I…" How was she supposed to reply? She wished she did but there was always a 'what if?' in the back of her head whenever she tried and she couldn't lie. "I'm really trying."

Sands nodded. "Well, that's nice to know. I'm going to bed."

"No, wait. Please, don't be mad at me." Charlie asked.

"I'm not mad. Hey, I've spent my life trying to make sure no one could trust me. Although, I also spent my life making sure I'd never fall in love with anyone so I'm not sure which one is the failure."

"Neither. I'm really trying, I am. I know it's a bit of a cliché but would you believe me if I told you it's not you, it's me?"

Sands turned to look at her tiredly.

"It's true." Charlie said. "I don't trust easily."

"Not even the person you're supposed to love?"

"Not supposed to, do. I do love you. I've just been betrayed before…" She said, trailing off.

Sands raised an eyebrow at her as if daring her to finish.

"By you."

Sands turned to walk away again.

"Would you stop walking away from me? I'm just trying to be honest."

"And I'm honestly sick of hearing it. I thought we had figured this all out last night. I thought I proved you could trust me."

"You did. When it comes to going off with other women when you're angry. I know you won't do it."

"So what else is there to trust me about?"

"You don't even like saying you love me. I have to ask you to say it."

"You're surprised?" Sands asked defensively. "Why do you keep needing to hear it?"

"Because I'm not sure I can believe it yet."

Sands frowned. "What? You think I'm lying?"

"No, I…"

"Jesus, Charlie. I'm not having this fight again. I told you…"

"Sands, shut up. This isn't about you or the person you are. It's about the person I am."

Sands realised. "It's not that you think I don't love you, it's that I…Can't love you?"

"Sorta."

"Where's this coming from?"

"I just don't have a great track record with these kinds of things. The last guy I believed who told me that, would you treat me the way he did?"

"I try not to but I fail sometimes."

"And I believed him when he told me he loved me." Charlie said. "And then you came along and made it clear that he didn't anymore. If the person I was with for ten years can fall out of love with me that easily, how am I supposed to believe that you, after everything we've done to each other, could fall in love with me?"

"Because I did! I told you, I told you I wouldn't say it much but that doesn't mean it ain't true."

Charlie sighed, realising she was being very difficult to deal with. "I'm going to bed."

She walked into her bedroom and Sands wondered whether he should follow her. He decided he didn't care whether he should or not and walked in to see her standing at the bathroom sink in her pyjamas and putting her toothbrush back. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing the side of her head.

"I do love you."

Charlie smiled a little before looking up at the mirror to look at him. "I love you too. My emotions are just a mess lately."

"We're not having another pregnancy scare, are we?"

"Way to ruin the moment, Sands." She rolled her eyes but she should have known something like that was coming. She walked out of the bathroom and crawled onto her bed and Sands followed her onto it. He frowned when she lay down and closed her eyes.

"You're going to sleep?"

"I'm going back to sleep." She said, her eyes still closed.

"But…I thought…No sex?"

"Sands, it's late and I'm tired. Can't we leave it go for one night?"

"I don't remember having sex last night."

Charlie opened her eyes and looked up at him, not impressed.

"I'm just saying, I don't want us to become one of those couples with the fizzled out sex life."

"We've been together four days! We've had sex in each and every one of those four days! This morning counts." She said when she saw him about to disagree. "If you wanted sex today, you should have come home in less than eighteen hours or taken me with you."

"I told you I can't do that."

"And now I'm telling you, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight."

She closed her eyes and lay her head down again.

Sands was silent for a few seconds before nodding. "Fine. You know what? That's completely fine. No sex tonight. Fine."

"Sands, for the love of God, go to sleep."

"I'm just trying to prove how mature…"

He stopped when Charlie got up and straddled him, pressing her lips against his. He felt her hands go to his t-shirt and their lips separated for a second as she pulled his t-shirt over his head. Their lips reconnected as her hands went to his belt and took it off. His pants soon followed as she got off him.

"Do you know what you're ready for?" She smirked.

"I have an idea…" Sands replied, his hand caused the string of her top to fall down her shoulder.

"Good, so lie down and do it." She said, lying down, turning away from him.

"Wait, what?"

"Go to sleep!"

The next morning, Charlie woke up to find herself alone again. "Oh, come on…"

She got out of the bed and searched around the hotel room but he wasn't anywhere to be found. She frowned when the phone of the hotel room rang. She went over and answered it. "Hello?"

"Hello, miss. This is your wake up call."

"I…I didn't ask for a wake-up call."

"It was requested by the male resident in the room."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "What time did he order it?"

"Two hours ago."

"Okay, thank you." So another day alone in her hotel room now. She hung up the phone and looked around the room.

_What am I gonna do now?_

* * *

Sands walked through the hotel lobby that night and walked over to the elevators. He was waiting for the doors to open before realising he'd passed an interesting sight out of the corner of his eye. He turned around and saw Charlie sitting on the lobby couches, a big pile of books next to her. He walked over.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Charlie looked up, only then realising he was back. "Oh, hi. I'm reading. It turns out the books in that bookshelf over there aren't just for show and some of them are in English."

"How interesting." He said sarcastically, getting annoyed by her page flicking. "And you couldn't get them brought up to the room because…?"

"Well, I did but then I finished the ones I had up there so I was bringing them down to get more and I got talking to the people who work here and then I just started reading down here." She shrugged before going back to her book.

"What part of don't leave the hotel room do you not understand?"

"Hey, did you know that before his battles, Alexander the Great would have an eagle released behind his men to fly over them so it would look like Zeus was sending him a signal of victory?"

"Charlie!"

Charlie didn't look up from the book. "I'm fine."

The speed reading got too much on Sands' nerves so he took the book out of her hand. "Get upstairs."

Charlie looked up at him to see him not looking very happy. She huffed and got up, walking past him. "I already read those."

Sands frowned, looking down at the books. There were five and they didn't even include the ones she'd already read and put back. He looked after her to see her getting into the elevator before putting the books down and getting in with her quickly before the doors closed.

"You can read five books in a night but you can't understand 'Don't leave the room'."

"I read a lot more than five. You were gone a very long time. I was bored."

"Bored? You were bored? I didn't know that was worse than being dead."

"I said I'm fine."

"Oh yeah? And what if someone who works for the person _trying to kill you _walked by the hotel? All they had to do was look in and you're caught. Why can't you care about things like this? What is the point in me going out and trying to find who is doing this if you're not taking it seriously?"

"It is a little hard to take seriously something I know nothing about! Nothing is happening, Sands."

The elevator stopped and they got out and walked inside the hotel room.

"Things are happening. I'm finding things out."

"How the hell would I know? You don't tell me anything. All I know is you're looking into my ex which is a colossal waste of time because I know him and I know…"

Sands threw a file onto the table. "That he applied for the CIA?"

Charlie froze.

"Well, did you?"

Charlie looked down at the file before opening it and seeing the application form. She knew his writing and that was definitely his writing.

"He knew your job the entire time." Sands said when she didn't say anything. "He was trying to get into the same agency so you couldn't ever get away from him. A lot more possessive than you thought, huh?"

Charlie closed the file, walking out to the balcony. She definitely needed air after that. She closed the door behind her too. Even though all she'd been doing lately was complaining about being left alone, she felt that was just what she need right now. Sands didn't seem to agree as he followed her out and stood beside her at the ledge, lighting a cigarette. Neither spoke for a while.

"If it makes you feel any better, I was just as shocked as you are." He said, breaking the silence.

Charlie looked at him incredulously. "No, it doesn't. I was with him for ten years; you can't even get his name right."

"Yeah but I've been looking into him before I even came to find you and it took me that long to figure out? I could have known that in thirty seconds if I'd been smart about it."

"Yeah, well it took my ten years to find out and I didn't even do it on my own, I had to be told."

"He seems to be smarter than either of us gave him credit for."

"And now he's missing. I don't understand any of this. He applied for the CIA…He must have gotten turned down, obviously?"

Sands nodded. "I don't know why, though. Probably because you already worked there. No personal relationships."

"Why didn't he ever tell me he knew? Why keep that from me?"

Sands didn't have an answer. It would have made it a lot easier to trap her into the relationship if he did let her know he knew and then used it against her.

"And that file the CIA had on me…" Charlie rubbed her temples. "Okay, so we have Barry who knows I work for the CIA and is bitter against them for turning him down…"

"We have that." Sands nodded.

"Then I left him and slept with you, making him even angrier. More so when I turn him down again and choose you again."

"There's that too."

"Meanwhile, we have the CIA who delete our messages from Mexico, try to have you killed, record my every movement after they fire me and then try to kill me in Malibu."

"Yes."

"We just have to connect these two things."

"That's it."

"Someone from the CIA is working with Barry?"

"No."

Charlie frowned at Sands. "What do you mean no?"

"That fuckmook thinks he owns you. He doesn't want you dead, he wants you to himself. He wouldn't work with someone who is trying to kill you."

"Not even if they made him believe they're trying to kill you?"

Sands thought about it. "You are smart."

Charlie smiled before it diminished. "Though…Barry being capable of murder?"

"I never said he was capable of murder but getting involved with someone who is? That's a lot easier than doing it yourself."

"But the thought of killing someone…"

"Sugar, the guy hates me. He thinks that if I get out of the picture, you'll go back to him and you're all he has. Think about it, the only attempt on your life was after you left Virginia. He would have never known about it. The attempt to murder me, though? He would have heard about that from whoever he's working with. They also probably told him that Mexico was a trap to kill me and you'd be rescued once I was dead, safe and sound. How else would he know when you were in the hospital in order to swing by and pop the question?"

The more Sands spoke, the more sense it made. "And now that he's missing?"

"A plan to draw you out."

"You said he's probably already dead."

"He might be. He might not be. I don't care. If we go back to America and he's not, I'll do it myself." He finished his cigarette and flicked it over the ledge. "A little reward for all my hard work."

"I can't believe I didn't know he knew." Charlie said, walking over to the chair by the balcony table and sitting down. "I can't believe I didn't know he applied. What else didn't I know? I slept beside someone every night and now I'm realising I didn't know who he was the entire time." She looked up at Sands. "I'm still doing it."

"You're still sleeping with him?"

"Don't make me slap you."

Sands huffed and walked over to occupy the other seat. "You know everything you need to know about me but you know what I don't need to know? Or rather, be reminded of? That you slept beside the guy every night. I'd appreciate if you kept those thoughts to yourself or better, forget about those years altogether."

Charlie looked at him tiredly.

"I just don't like the thought that you loved him, can you blame me?"

"Fine. What do you mean I know everything I need to know about you? The only things I know about you are your name and your job and you might not even have one of those anymore."

"That was enough for you to want to be with me, why do you need anymore?"

"Because that's what normal people want. They want to know about the person they love."

"Really? You've never even tried to ask me anything."

"Because I knew you'd never answer."

"If you cared that much, you'd try. You haven't so that means you can live without knowing. Why complain?"

"I'm not complaining, it's just…It'd be nice to know something about you. You know so much about me, my family, my past…"

"And I bet you wish I didn't." Sands surmised.

"And I bet it doesn't matter to you what kind of people they are, you still love me."

She had him there.

"So," She continued. "Why are you so afraid to let me know anything about you?"

"I'm not afraid, I'm private. You're forgetting sugar, you never let me know anything about your family, I met them on my own."

And he had her there.

"I told you I used to be a dancer and I didn't have to. That's a part of my past."

"Okay, I can play guitar. There, that's my past hobby. Now we're even."

"You can?"

"Yes, now can we talk about something else?"

Charlie went silent; her mind trying to process the odd turn the night had taken.

_He knew the entire time. Every time I worked late or had to go away with my job, he knew._

Charlie thought back to the night before she went to Florida.

_"I'm sure doctors would be allowed bring their significant others to this convention."_

_"I told you, you'd be really bored. I won't see you at all so you'll just be hanging around a hotel room for a few days."_

_"I'll see you at night."_

_"Well the tickets are already paid for so..."_

_"I'm sure I could pay for my own."_

_"Are you? You'd have to pay for a hotel room and everything. And it's an expensive hotel, I'm not sure I could afford a room if it wasn't paid for by someone else."_

_"Why couldn't I just stay in yours?"_

He had known then. He had known she was lying and was that his way of trying to make her confess? Was he trying to catch her out?

_How could I have not known?_

_How can you be with someone for ten years and not know who they are? _

Charlie looked over at Sands who was looking out at the city.

_Am I doing it all over again?_

"Why are you staring at me?" He asked, taking out another cigarette and lighting it.

"Just thinking."

"About me?"

"Amongst other things."

Sands huffed. "One question."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"You can ask me one question."

"Really?"

"But it can't be about my family…Or growing up…Or my past in general."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "So I'm left with…What's your favourite colour? Thanks."

"Hey, I'm just doing what you did. No questions you wouldn't want to answer yourself. And it's green."

"There are some questions I would answer that you won't. It's ridi…Green? Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"It's the colour you were wearing when I first saw you."

Charlie didn't reply straight away. She was a little surprised. "That's why it's your favourite colour?"

"And it's your eye colour and you let me know that when I thought I didn't know anything about you so in a way, that colour lifted my pretty low spirits."

Charlie didn't know how he did it, how he could make her want to kill him or send her world crashing down around her and then with a few words, be her favourite person in the world again.

"I'm going to bed." She said, getting up. "Are you coming?"

Sands got up too. "Am I getting sex tonight?"

"I'm too tired…"

"From doing what?"

"Getting my mind blown by you telling me everything I ever thought for the past ten years was a lie."

"Not everything. I haven't lied to you since we got together. I've told you the truth about everything even when it got me in trouble."

"It's been less than a week."

Sands took her hand to stop her from walking away from him, making her turn around. "Listen to me; I am not ever going to lie to you."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "Really? Your whole thing is lying, cheating, stealing, killing and you're not going to with me?"

"No, I'm not. I'll always tell you the truth. I don't want to ruin the night but I'm going to remind you of that fight we had? I could have lied to you about considering sleeping with that woman. I didn't. I will lie to anyone else about anything else but I'm not going to with you, even if it means you'll hate me for the truth."

"Why?" Charlie frowned. "Why are you making this promise?"

"Because there's no point. What's the point in being with you and telling you I love you if I'm going to lie to you? If I do something that means you don't want to be with me then you should be able to make that decision. I don't want to be with someone who wouldn't want to be with me if they knew the truth about who I was, that's just lying to myself and I really don't see the point in that. You can know who I am and know what I do and want to be with me or not but I'm not lowering myself to lying to a woman to make her want to be with me. I'm better than that, sugar."

Charlie smiled a little before reaching up and pressing her lips against his. "I know you are."

Sands smirked. "Do I get sex now?"

"No."

"Fuck." Sands huffed. "Do you at least trust me yet?"

Charlie smiled. "More than I ever have."

"Is that a yes?"

"You're getting there."

Another night was followed by another morning where Charlie woke up alone, another day of sitting around and waiting for him to come back. Only this time, instead of watching television or reading books, she was reading Barry's file over and over again. She couldn't get it in her head why he applied for the CIA. Did he really do it so she couldn't ever get away from him? She knew he could be possessive at times but that was overkill if she'd ever seen it.

She had finally stopped going over and over the same details as she sat by the window and watched the sun go down that evening. She turned when the door opened.

"Hey, sugar."

"You're back early." She said.

"Yeah well, there are no breakthroughs for you today. I return empty handed." Sands huffed. "If your ex is working with someone, they are leaving absolutely no trace. Not that I expected them to." He walked into the bedroom. "I'm going for a shower; get the stench of failure off me."

It was frustrating to say the least for Sands, to discover such a big revelation one day and then not find anything the next. It should have been easier to find links now that he had somewhere to start but there was nothing. It wasn't as if they could hide out in this hotel room forever. Something had to happen. If Sands could just find out who in the CIA was behind it, he could take Charlie home and then deal with that person. While there was no lead, he had nowhere to go. That just made him feel like a sitting duck. What if whoever was doing this found him and Charlie before he found them? It wasn't as if he knew they hadn't already or if they were close.

_Something big has to happen before either of us can make the next move._

Sands got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around himself, walking out of the bathroom. He walked past the door to see that Charlie hadn't moved from her spot. She was still at the window, looking out at the city. He was aware she hadn't left the hotel in days.

He huffed. "Go on, get ready."

Charlie turned to him with a frown. "What?"

"Shower, put on makeup, do whatever it is you gals do when you're getting ready to go somewhere."

"Are you serious?" Charlie asked.

"No, I just wanted to hurt your feelings." He said sarcastically. "Yes, I'm serious. Now hurry up before I change my mind."

"What made you change your mind in the first place?"

"Jesus, it's always one hundred and twenty questions with you. You want to go out; I'm here to keep you safe so if you go out with me, you'll be safe. Now, go."

Charlie got up quickly but hurried over and kissed him.

When they parted, Sands smirked. "Say sugar, what direction would this night take if I were to drop my towel right now?"

"No time, I have to get ready. But show me a good time tonight and I'll show a very good time when we come back." She smirked back before heading into the bathroom.

Sands nodded before going to change himself.

"I am so getting sex tonight…"

* * *

"Here! This place will do."

"Wait, wait, wait." Charlie said, pulling Sands back from walking through the cheap dive he was about to walk her into. "This is like the tenth place we've passed and this is probably the dirtiest and cheapest. Why is this the right place?"

"You'll see."

* * *

"What is that?"

"You've never tried Puerco Pibil?"

"Don't tell that's what made you choose here?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nowhere else had it. If you knew it, you'd understand." He said with complete certainty. He lifted some with his fork. "Try it."

Charlie looked into his eyes for a few seconds, biting her lip before reaching over and tasting it.

"Well?" Sands asked.

"I've tasted better." She smirked.

"You liar."

"No, I'm serious."

"What could possibly be better…?"

Sands was cut off when Charlie pressed her lips against his. All thoughts of food went out the window as he dropped the fork to place his hand against her cheek, deepening the kiss. When they parted, Charlie left out a content sigh. "I would say that."

"You'd have me there. Although, I finally take you out of the hotel room and that's when you start getting in the mood? Way to toy with me, sugar."

"How can I help it? I guess dingy little dives with low lighting and particular menus have a way of getting a girl turned on."

"That's why I chose it." Sands quipped.

Charlie shook her head but smiled nonetheless.

"There was also another reason." Sands said.

Charlie looked up from her own dish at him. "Oh, really? And what was that?"

"It's nice and private." He smirked before leaning over and kissing her again. Charlie hadn't missed how Sands had brought her right over to the secluded and only semi-lit corner when he brought her inside and Sands hadn't missed how instead of sitting across from him, she'd sat by him so her leg was constantly touching his. He also didn't miss the white dress she was wearing which suited her tanned skin perfectly and stopped mid-thigh. He used their close proximity to his advantage and Charlie felt his hand on her leg, his fingers grazing along the inside of her thigh.

"I don't think I should let you do that in public." She said when they parted.

"Hey, you're the one who chose to wear a short dress; you really think I wouldn't use that to my advantage?"

Charlie smirked. "I wore this dress because it's hot."

"It most certainly is." He replied, kissing her shoulder and moving up to her neck.

"I meant the heat."

"I didn't." Sands smirked. "I'm talking about you. You know, with your tan getting darker, those freckles of yours are more apparent."

Charlie put her hand up to the bridge of her nose, absentmindedly trying to cover them. "Really?"

Sands smiled, taking her hand away. "Sugar, I hardly said it to make you feel insecure. I like them."

"You're the only one."

"I'm okay with that." He said, kissing her cheekbone where they ran along. "I know I've got good taste."

Charlie was too surprised by that isolated act of affection to even care about his cockiness. "I know you're probably gonna kill me but…"

Sands wasn't too happy to hear that. "What?"

"Wanna take this back to the hotel room? Or more specifically, the hotel bedroom?"

Sands smirked. "If you think that is gonna make me mad, you really don't know me." He got up and led her out onto the side street quickly. He was surprised when she caught his hand, her fingers intertwining with his. "What are you doing?"

"I'm holding your hand."

"Oh no, sugar, I don't do hand holding."

"Oh come on, no one here knows you're some big touch agent man or a lunatic. No one is going to think you're less of a man or whatever if they see you holding my hand, you're just a normal guy that no one's paying attention to."

"Still…"

"Okay, how about I'm wearing heels so I need you to help me keep my balance?"

"I don't get why you women fawn all over high heels and then do nothing but complain when you actually wear them."

"Because if I weren't wearing heels, I couldn't do this." Charlie said, stopping and pressing her lips against his. "I'd be too small to reach."

"I'm pretty sure I'd find a way." Sands smirked, lifting her off the ground slightly and kissing her again.

Charlie laughed a little before he put her down. "Well, you super, secret agents always do. Now, find a way to get us back to the hotel because I have a few plans of my own I'd like to get about executing."

Sands chuckled and turned around to hail a taxi but shot down when he heard a loud bang. The screams and people running around at the noise made it difficult for him to figure out where the gunshot had come from as he looked out into the crowds.

"Sands…"

Sands turned quickly and his eyes widened when he saw Charlie white's dress now stained with blood due to the gaping hole in her stomach. He ran over to grab her just before she hit the floor, her legs losing any strength they had.

"Charlie?"

* * *

**Sorry for the very long wait for this update. I've been writing this chapter every night for weeks, honestly, just trying to get it right! I hope you liked it!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	38. Heroes and Villains

**To Katy Vortex: Thanks!**

**To anon: I'm glad you're enjoying it!**

**To Big fann: Loving the name! =P**

**Here's Chapter 38!**

"Just stay awake."

Charlie was finding it harder and harder with each passing second.

"Sugar, there's no need to worry about this." Sands said as he held her in his arms. Someone in the crowd has called an ambulance and though Sands didn't trust keeping her in public, in an ambulance or a hospital where anyone could wander in, he had no choice. He had to get her to a hospital. Though it had only been about a minute, it felt like it was taking forever to get there. A crowd had gathered though and Sands couldn't exactly pick her up and drag her away without twenty odd people trying to stop him, so the ambulance could take her and he didn't have a car himself to put her into to drive her anywhere. He wouldn't let anyone take her out of his arms though, not until he saw an ambulance and even then, he wasn't leaving her side, just in case the paramedics weren't who they said they were. "I've seen much worse than this. Shit, I've had much worse than this and I'm still standing."

Charlie tried to smile a little. "You're a good liar but you're forgetting who the doctor is here."

"I don't give a fuck what you are, all I know is I'm right. I'm always right. You'll be fine."

The sound of the sirens surrounded Sands and a few seconds later, the flashing lights came into his vision. He looked behind him to see the ambulance stopping before looking back at Charlie, only to see her unconscious.

"Charlie? Charlie!"

* * *

Charlie woke up in quite a lot of pain.

"Oh God…"

"Charlie?" Sands sat up, seeing her stir. "Are you awake?"

"Where am I?" She groaned, not opening her eyes. She couldn't remember much.

"The hospital."

"Sands?"

"Yeah, sugar, I'm here." He said, getting up from the chair so he could stand closer to the bed.

"What happened?" She asked, opening her eyes but quickly shutting them again due to the light in the room though it was only one lamp. "I don't remember…"

"You were shot." He decided there was no point in mincing words.

Everything started to come back to her. Them going out, trying to get back to the hotel. "Oh yeah…That hurt."

"Been there." Sands smiled a little, just because she was awake and talking. "But I told you you'd be fine. I'm always right, sugar."

"I don't feel fine." She groaned.

"You will."

Charlie didn't say anything for a while. "How long was I out for?"

Sands seemed to hesitate. "Not long."

Charlie frowned. "Sands?"

"Not long, like I said."

"What happened when I went unconscious? What did the doctors do?" She asked, her own doctor side coming out. "Was it in deep or…?"

"Charlie, you've been awake for about a minute…"

"Could you do me a favour?" She asked.

"Of course."

"Give me my chart."

"Charlie…" Sands sighed.

"I need to see what's on it." She said as he wasn't going to tell her anything.

"You won't be able to read it; it's in a different language."

"The drugs will have the same name and you can translate anything I don't understand."

"I don't think…"

"Sands, I need to know what happened." She said.

"You were shot, doctors fixed you. What else do you need to know?"

Charlie looked at him incredulously. "Sands, please."

They were interrupted when a doctor walked into the room. He looked surprised to see Charlie awake. "Miss Macintosh…"

Sands walked over to the man quickly and started speaking to him in Turkish. She could see the doctor trying to argue but whatever Sands was saying, he was adamant about it. The doctor sighed and walked over, past him to the bed.

"Miss Macintosh, it is good to see you awake."

"Thank you." She said, though her eyes were on Sands who stayed behind the doctor. "It's good to be awake."

"You are very lucky." The doctor went on. "If Mister Sands had not gotten you to the hospital on time, who knows what would have happened?"

"I have a fair idea." She replied causing Sands to look at her.

"Yes, well, it is good to focus on the positive side." The doctor nodded. "Anyway, I am Doctor Demir and I performed your surgery…"

"Surgery?" Charlie interrupted with wide eyes. She looked back at Sands, not believing that wasn't the first thing he told her. "Surgery?"

Sands didn't reply.

"Wait," She frowned. "How long have I been unconscious?"

"Three days." The doctor informed her.

"Three days?" She shook her head before looking at the doctor. "So it wasn't just taking out the bullet, you actually had to operate on me? The damage was that severe?"

Demir nodded.

"Did the bullet puncture or tear anything?"

"I'm afraid that…"

"She just woke up." Sands said loudly, cutting the doctor off.

Charlie frowned at him before looking back at Demir. "Could you give us a minute alone?"

"I was hoping to talk about…"

"Just for a few minutes."

The doctor nodded and left the room. When he was gone, Charlie looked at Sands.

"Did you not think that would be important to mention that I had to have surgery? I asked if it was deep or serious and you didn't even answer me. Why wouldn't you tell me?"

"I was going to."

"When?" She asked angrily. "I asked you what happened and you wouldn't even answer me."

"I was trying not to upset you."

"Then just tell me the truth. Not telling me anything is going to scare me more. I nearly died, Sands."

"Don't you think I don't know that?" He said, his frustration over everything reaching breaking point. "I'm the one who's been sitting here, hoping you'd wake up. I'm the one who didn't know if you'd even make it through surgery. I'm the one who has been scared in case someone tries to kill you in here and I don't stop it again."

Charlie frowned. "Sands, this wasn't your fault."

"Give me a fucking break, of course it was. I fucked up. I haven't stopped fucking up since I got out here and don't tell me otherwise while you lie in a fucking hospital bed!"

"But I don't think it was fault." She said. "Look at me, I'm okay…"

"You're not okay! You're not fucking okay and you'll never be okay again!"

Charlie looked at him, shocked. She could tell from his face after his outburst that he hadn't meant to say that but now it was out there and obvious he had a secret to keep.

"Sands, what happened?" She asked, her voice shaking.

"I fucked up. That's what happened."

"You didn't…"

"Don't even think about arguing with me on this." He said sternly. "I dropped the ball. I cared more about getting you into bed and this is where it got us."

"Sands, this could have happened anywhere. The fact that we left the hotel…"

"If we hadn't left the hotel, you'd still be able to sit up on your own."

"Sands, I need to know what happened that's making you like this."

"You got shot!"

"I meant, what happened that you don't want to tell me?"

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong." He said though he knew she wouldn't believe him. "You were shot and I know what that's like. It's not something you're going to get over easily."

"No, there's something you don't want me to know. Tell me. Please." She pleaded. "Or at least let the doctor tell me."

Sands sighed. "Look, that guy can barely speak English."

"He seemed to be able to speak English fine to me."

"Look, you just woke up…"

"Sands, please! I'm really scared so can you please just tell me?" She was just begging now "Please!"

Sands ran a hand over his face, not knowing what to do. "I can't do this."

He left the room and Charlie looked after him, completely shocked.

It took about an hour and a lot of self-hatred after he left for him to come back.

He walked back into the room, to see Charlie awake and sitting up slightly, thanks to the bed. She didn't look at him when he walked in.

"Charlie?"

She didn't reply.

"Look, I'm sorry I ran out of here." He said. He could get past his pride to apologise now. "I didn't know how to tell you." When she didn't reply, he frowned. "You do know, don't you?"

She nodded her head.

"How are you?" He asked, walking further into the room.

"How do you think?" She replied, her voice sounding croaked, probably from crying so much but she wasn't crying now. "I'm hardly ecstatic over the news."

"But…You never wanted kids."

"That doesn't make it better." She replied.

"It's not…I mean, they didn't remove anything. I don't know if it's still possible but…"

"I'm a doctor, Sands, you don't need to explain. It'll be a one in a million miracle now. I guess I could look on the bright side, no more pregnancy scares."

"I don't know what to say." He said, truthfully.

"There's nothing you can say."

"I guess I should say that I shouldn't have left."

Charlie finally looked at him. "You should say it? Do you mean it?"

Sands was silent for a second. "I should say yes."

"Jesus, Sands…"

"I didn't want to be here when you found out so I can't really be sorry that I wasn't."

Charlie nodded but didn't say anything.

"I can understand if you hate me for that."

"I don't understand you." She said. "You're supposed to love me but you don't mind if I hate you because it's easier than being there for me when I need you."

"No one said being with me would be easy." He said, not knowing what else he could say.

"No, they did not. Everyone warned me against it and tonight, I think I can really understand why."

"You couldn't before?"

"I knew it'd be hard and when people said I shouldn't even consider it, I thought they meant because you'd screw me over, cheat on me or something. I never expected that it'd be a bad idea because you'd be scared of when I need you."

"I don't do emotion, you know that."

"So I can't get any support either? I have to go through things like this on my own?"

"Hopefully, things like this will never happen again."

"Yeah, hopefully." She said, without an ounce of hope at all.

Sands sighed. "Like I said, it's fine if you hate me."

"Is it? Good to know."

"Charlie…"

"I don't hate you."

"You don't?"

"No. I wished you had been here with me but there's nothing either of us can do now."

"I just…I already knew and as much as I couldn't wait for you to wake up, I was dreading you finding out. I wanted to keep it from you."

"And for how long did you expect that to work?"

"I haven't really been thinking rationally in the last few days, I'll admit."

Charlie stayed silent for a while. "When can I get out of here?"

"You just woke up." Sands frowned.

"I don't care. I don't want to stay here."

"Charlie, you're a doctor. You know that they don't keep patients in here for fun. If the doctor says you have to stay…"

"Now you're all about following the rules?" She frowned. "You didn't even go to the hospital when you got shot."

"Mine wasn't as serious…"

"And you left before you should have after your eye transplant. You haven't ever once followed my advice as a doctor so don't bother throwing the fact that I'm a doctor in my face now when you've never cared before."

"I'm not letting you leave."

"Because I need your permission? Apparently I don't need you for anything. You came here to keep me safe but since that was less than a stellar job, I don't see how you being here changed anything."

Sands got up and left the room again.

Charlie closed her eyes, laying her head back on the pillow and immediately regretted what she'd just said.

_Idiot._

* * *

Sands was sitting in the waiting room, still trying to decide whether he should leave the hospital or not. He wanted to. He'd have loved to storm out and leave her if that's how she felt and was going to act but he couldn't. He kept thinking if something happened, if she took a turn or if the guy who shot her found her here and Sands wasn't here…

"I'm sorry."

Sands looked to the door and was surprised to see Charlie standing there, holding onto an IV drip pole as the fluid's tubing was still attached to her arm. She was wearing the hospital gown under a tied blue robe and her long hair which Sands usually loved just seemed to drown her now. Under the brighter light, Sands could see how pale she really was, how sunken her eyes had become. Under the dim lamp light, she hadn't seemed as hollow as she appeared now.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." He said, turning away from her, half of him still mad and the other half just not wanting to see her like that.

"I had to come find you." She said, walking further in. She was careful when she sat on the seat next to him, not wanting to hurt herself but she couldn't resist leaving out a hiss of pain when her torso bent.

Sands looked at her. "What are you doing? You need to go back to bed."

"I need to tell you that I didn't mean what I said. I don't even know why I said it."

"Obviously, on some level, you meant it."

"No, I really didn't. I don't blame you for what happened at all and if it weren't for you, I'd be dead right now and it probably would have happened long before three days ago. Every second you're here with me, you're saving my life, Sands."

"You were right." He shrugged, turning away. "I came here to protect you and I've done a pretty shitty job."

"No, I wasn't." Charlie said, frustrated. "I was just…Hurt and upset and angry and I took it out on you. Sands, I'm sorry. I should never have said those things, they're not true."

"Except that they are. Even if you didn't mean them, they're true. The fact that you're hooked up to that thing," He pointed to the IV drip. "Proves it. The fact that some guy shot you while you were standing right next to me proves it."

"And the fact that I'm alive? Up and walking and sitting here, next to you?"

"Doctors?"

"Sands, I can't do this. I'm not capable of being the strong one right now, it has to be you or we're both dead."

Sands looked at her.

"Please." She said. "I need you now more than I did before. This has nothing to do with you as an agent or some bodyguard. It's about knowing the man I love isn't giving up on me. It's about knowing that you care about what happened to me…"

"Of course I…"

"Not because you failed but because something bad happened to me. Not because whoever did it got past you or because you slipped up."

"I can't." Sands said. "I'm focusing on how I got it wrong because I can't deal with it getting you hurt."

"But I need you to." She said, tears coming to her eyes. "I need you to help me and I wish," Her eyes closed in frustration as her brow furrowed. "I wish you could just understand that instead of me having to explain it." She looked at him. "I need you to realise that I am tired and sore and angry and that's going to make me act like a bitch because, and you know this, I can be a pretty big bitch. When I am this massive bitch and I take it out on you, I need you to not storm out so I have to spend I don't know how long trying to get out of the bed and use my legs again when they have no feeling in them just so I can find you and apologise. That might sound selfish but fuck you, I was just shot and it's changed my entire life." She sighed. "We knew something like this was going to happen so I need you to stop blaming yourself and start realising that I need you."

"Are you done?" He asked.

"Yes."

Sands got up from the seat and knelt down in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked quickly. "I take it back, I don't need you. Not if you're going to do shit like this."

"Would you shut up? I said on day one no fucking proposals and I meant it." He huffed. "I just want to be right in front of you, looking you in the eye when I tell you that I may not be the best choice but I'm always gonna be here when you need me. I'm…"

Charlie raised her eyebrows, wondering if he was going to say it.

Sands huffed. "I'm sorry that I left you alone to hear that by yourself. I'm sorry I didn't tell you anything. I'm sorry I let this happen to you at all. Don't interrupt me, I needed to say it." He said when she was about to disagree. "I love you."

Charlie smiled weakly. "I thought you didn't like saying it?"

"A few exceptions are tolerable. I just…I needed to tell you that when you woke up. I needed you to know that I do and I will for a very long time, possibly the rest of my life. Well, preferably."

"I love you too."

Sands smirked and reached up, pressing his lips against hers. He was thankful to be able to do it again.

"You're freezing." He said when they parted, even feeling her coldness through the robe.

"I'm fine." She shrugged though it was a lie. She was in a terribly hot country but she couldn't get the heat into her.

"Come on," He said, helping her to stand and keep a hold on her. "Let's get you back. I'll talk to the doctor about getting you out of here soon."

"Thank you."

He led her out of the waiting room and down the hall.

"You must be starving." He said, trying to think of what the right thing to say was.

"I'm okay." She sighed. "Despite where I work, I can't stand hospital food." Charlie frowned up at him when he didn't reply. "Sands?"

He was looking at something behind him.

"What's wro…?"

Charlie felt a ton of pain when Sands pushed her to the floor, covering her body with his as a loud shot rang out. She just looked up just in time to see Sands pull out his own gun and shoot at a man dressed in scrubs who jumped over the nurse's station counter. Sands grabbed Charlie and pulled her up and into a close hospital room as people ran around the halls, trying to get away.

"Stay here." Sands said quickly.

"No, Sands, wait." She grabbed his arm, trying to stop him. "What if there's more out there?"

"I'll be fine. I've done this shit before and so have you and we came out alive."

"Sands, this is a hospital. Someone is going to call the police and they are going to lock this place in, looking for a shooter and the only one they'll find is you. Do you think that guy is still out there? Of course not, the minute he realised you had a gun and knew who he was, he ran. Please, we need to leave now."

Sands was about to disagree but frowned, realising she was breathing quite heavily. He undid her robe quickly and pulled it back to see a section of the hospital gown soaked in blood, her stitches having been ripped.

"Shit." He huffed. He put away the gun and pulled up her sleeve, grabbing the tube and pulling it out of her arm, making her gasp in pain. He lifted her into his arms.

"I can walk…" She said weakly.

"Yeah, for how much longer?"

He carried her out, looking at either end of the hall. Seeing it empty, he hurried her out and looked for the emergency stairs.

"You feeling okay, sugar?"

"I'm fine." She said, though she had a feeling it was just adrenaline keeping her awake now. Blood was pooling on her torso now that Sands had her huddled in his arms.

Sands found the emergency stairs and kicked open the door since his hands were full and hurried down them. Once he got to the main exit, he carried her outside and could hear the police sirens in the distance. If he had tried to get her out of the front exit, he had no doubt that he wouldn't have succeeded. He looked down to see her eyes closed.

"Charlie?"

She opened them weakly. "I'm okay."

Sands knew she wasn't but where could he take her?

* * *

"And you guarantee we'll be safe here?"

"I stitched her up, did I not? Agent Sands, trust me. You have before."

Sands looked into the small bedroom where Charlie was still lying. "I don't trust anyone and I have a lot more at stake now."

"Sands, I did not let you down last time." Sands turned from Charlie to Sadik, a contact Sands had met on a mission here before. Sands hadn't thought of him before since to be honest, he didn't want Charlie near him, seeing as Sands didn't want her near anyone he couldn't trust and that was everyone. Sadik had been in the military and deserted, changed his name and lived in secrecy. That was until Sands found him out. Sands had kept his word in not revealing Sadik's true identity if the man helped out in his last mission as he was still trained in army combat. It was a way for Sands to not get his hands dirty, something he tried to make sure happened in every mission. For Sands, Sadik was just another El Mariachi or Ramirez. Now though, Sands needed him to use his army experience to help with first aid and use his house as a place to hide. Sadik obliged since Sands was the only person in the world who knew his true identity and hadn't spilled it to anyone. It was also a place no one would think of looking for Sands or Charlie. "You did not let me down in return. If you do not trust me, trust that you and I are too concerned with ourselves to double cross each other."

Sands knew that was true. As long as Sadik was helping him, Sands wasn't going to ruin his opportunity by alerting the army to their deserted officer. He had to believe that Sadik liked his freedom too much to risk being court marshalled.

"Alright." He said. "You let us hide out here and I'll take your true identity to the grave."

"I trust that you will. Your girl is safe here, I promise it."

Sands nodded, his best way of saying thanks to anyone and walked into the bedroom Charlie was sleeping in. Sands frowned when he saw her moving around in her sleep but not in the usual way she did, she kept turning her head and careening her neck. She had a pained expression on her face and it seemed like she was trying to hide in her pillow, every so often leaving out strained whimpers. He got up when he saw her start scratching herself with her nails, along her chest and to her arms. He sat on the side of the bed and grabbed her wrists, pinning them back onto the pillow to stop her hurting herself.

"Stop, Charlie, wake up."

Charlie scared awake but in the dark and her half-asleep state, didn't seem to realise she was out of her dream and began struggling.

"Let me go! Get off me!"

"Charlie! It's me!" Sands said, trying to get her to calm down.

Once she heard his voice, Charlie seemed to realise and stop struggling. "Sands?"

"Yeah sugar, it's just me."

He could see the pooling of water in her eyes. "Oh, I don't…What happened?"

"You were dreaming. Something bad, I'm guessing."

"Oh…Oh yeah," She said, putting her hand against her forehead where sweat had developed. "A nightmare. Thanks for waking me."

"What was it about?"

"I…I can't remember."

"You're lying." Sands said. "I know you do. What was it?"

"If you just went through what I did, wouldn't you have some bad nights?"

Sands couldn't argue with that, though he had a feeling she was still lying. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, trying to sit up and couldn't really manage. "Ow…"

"Be careful." He held her gently, trying to make sure she didn't open her stitches again.

"I really wished that would stop happening…"

Sands frowned as Charlie's eyebrows furrowed before her eyes opened.

"Waking up in pain, I mean." She croaked. "Not you trying to be helpful."

"Trying, being the operative word. Failing being the other one."

"Please stop blaming yourself."

"How are you?" He asked, ignoring her plea although he wished he could stop having to ask that question.

"Okay." She said. "Missing my morphine." She looked around the room that had one small window with a black tarp over it. It had a dirt brown walls and the only furniture was the single bed she was on, a chair and a bedside table with a bowl and cloth on it, next to a lit lamp. "Where am I?"

"Somewhere safe with someone who can help you and where they won't find you."

Charlie sighed. "They…"

"Whoever found you already." He said. "But I'm not going to let that happen again. I let you down once and that was enough for me. Then, it went and happened again. I'm not disappointed now. I'm pissed."

Charlie looked at him sadly. "How long was I out this time?"

"Only a few hours."

"You must be exhausted. Have you even slept this entire time? Even in the hospital?"

"An hour or two here and there. I'm not finding it as easy as you at the moment." He joked though his smirk was quite weak.

"Sands, that's not good for you."

"I'm fine. I didn't want to be asleep if something happened to you."

Charlie sighed before frowning. "How did you know?"

"Know what?"

"You knew that guy wasn't a doctor before he ever pulled his gun out." Charlie said. "You were looking at him when we were walking. How did you know?"

Sands nodded. "The restaurant."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"He was in the restaurant that night; he was sitting across from us. I didn't even take notice of him in that dive since I was busy with you but when we passed him in the hall, I just knew I knew his face and then it hit me. He must have followed us into and out of the restaurant that night and shot you. Then he realised he hadn't finished the job and came to the hospital."

Charlie would have never have realised any of that. "Well, it's nice to know they don't pay you for just your looks."

Sands smirked.

"What time is it?" She asked.

Sands checked his watch. "It's four in the morning."

"Who stitched me up?"

"I have a contact who deals with…Less reputable people, the types who can't go to a hospital. I've been in need of his services once before."

"You have?"

"I've been put in this country twice. There's a big enough crime circuit if you look for one and the CIA always send me on the furthest away missions."

"Mexico?"

"Or the deadliest ones. I think they might be trying to get rid of me."

"Not just you." She said, her eyes not looking at his.

Sands chewed his lip. "Sugar, I'm going to need you to do something. You're not going to like it, hell I don't like asking you to do it but…"

Charlie frowned. "Sands, what is it?"

* * *

Charlie looked at herself in the mirror a few days later when she was strong enough to stand and walk around a little. She sighed as she surveyed herself in the bathroom mirror. Her long hair was gone and replaced with a wavy style that was just above shoulder length. It wasn't too bad but she didn't like the fact that she'd had to do it. Sands had asked her to though and she knew he was only thinking of her safety so she wouldn't be recognised from afar. She looked down into the sink which was now covered in strands of her hair. There was a lot of it. She scooped it up and threw them in the bin.

"I like it." Sands said, coming up behind her to lean in the doorway.

Charlie turned to him with a smile that looked a bit forced. "Me too."

Sands walked over to her. "It's just a precaution. Thoe guy who…Shot you, he did it because someone sent them a picture of what you looked like. That's the only way they recognised you. It mightn't be huge but people will be looking for someone with long hair and from afar, won't look twice at you."

"I know, you don't have to explain why you asked me to do this. I understand."

Sands didn't say any more about it. As long as she understood, he didn't feel like there was any more to say. "Come on."

He put his arm around her waist and led her out of the bathroom and over to the bed.

"Oh God, I literally can't do anymore lying around." She huffed.

"Sugar, you were shot. Even I know that when you get shot, you need to lie around. I did it without a complaint when you were taking care of me, return the favour."

"That's because you were too busy propositioning me."

"Can't argue with that."

Charlie got into the bed. "If I proposition you, does that mean you might actually get in here with me?"

"Sugar, I make one wrong move and you're bleeding all over the place."

"The first time we had sex, you had this very same injury."

"I was willing to put up with the pain. Also, I had a doctor in the room."

"You said you'd dealt with these kinds of injuries before. Anyway, I wasn't talking about sex. I feel bad you have to constantly sleep on a chair."

"I'm fine." Sands said though his back disagreed. "You move around in your sleep so much anyway, I'm safer in the chair. It's fine in a double bed but a single? You'll smack me if you don't just kick me out onto the floor."

"Am I really that bad?"

"Only sometimes."

"When we were in Malibu, you shared a single bed with me. Was I bad then?"

"Oh, yeah. My legs were bruised for days after you kicked me so much."

"Why didn't you leave? You had your own room with a massive, safe bed."

"I just wanted to be near you. I would have put up with a bed made of fire if it meant you slept next to me."

"And yet, you're sleeping on a chair now." She said though she wouldn't be forgetting what he just said for a long time and had a feeling she'd remind herself of it the next time they fought, if only to forgive him.

"That's for your sake, not mine."

"You can't even lie here with me for a while? I promise I won't fall asleep and trap you."

Sands looked at her as if she were a stubborn child.

"I promise I won't." She shrugged. "I don't like lying here alone."

Sands huffed. "You're a nuisance." He said as he got up and got onto the bed, taking her into his arms gingerly.

"I am if it gets me what I want." She smiled, feeling more comfortable than she had in ages.

"You're beginning to sound like me."

That made Charlie think something she'd often thought but never asked him. What better time than now? "Can I ask you something?"

"Depends. Is it going to make us fight?"

"I don't think so."

"Go ahead."

"Why did you become a CIA agent?"

Sands frowned. "What? Why do you want to know that?"

"You seem to love being an agent but hate doing missions…"

"I love doing missions."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"It just seems…"

"That I prefer acting like the people I get sent to stop?"

Charlie nodded.

"You know a lot of things, sugar, but missions are a whole other ballgame when it comes to sense. I do what I gotta do and if that makes me the villain, I don't mind. I may have fucked up in Mexico by trying to run off with twenty mill, but I did my job. I did what they wanted."

"Why did you want to run off with the money?" She asked. "If you love the CIA…"

Sands sighed. "Things stopped being how I wanted them to be and really, who can say no to twenty million dollar bills? Besides you, of course."

"When did I say no to…?"

"Your grandfather's money? You only just started spending it and I have a feeling all this travelling and staying in penthouses hasn't even put a dent in your inheritance." Charlie stayed silent. "Am I right?"

"Yes." She said but not liking it.

"The fact that your grandpop died when you were eighteen and you only started spending the money this year, the fact that you could have lived in a huge mansion and only lived in a two bedroom apartment, renting it at that…"

"I spent a lot of my life counting on myself and that wasn't going to stop because I got money." She said. "I've always wanted to be a doctor and I don't ever want to stop doing it. The same couldn't be said for you which is what we were talking about…"

"I don't like it when you figure out I'm turning the conversation away from myself."

"What do you mean it wasn't what you wanted it to be anymore?"

Sands sighed. "I liked missions but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that they were trying to get rid of me, sending me off to Mexico to never return. I started getting all the most dangerous missions which I didn't mind but…"

"You think they were trying to kill you?"

"I may be paranoid at times but no, I don't think that. I just think I became more of a liability than a solution so they figured if I was going to endanger civilians, I should endanger myself with them."

"Civilians?"

Sands realised she didn't know the real depths of his trigger happiness and he would prefer to keep it that way. The doctor in her probably would have hated the fact that he shot anyone he wanted. "They just didn't like that I was doing things my own way to get the job done. I was probably costing them a lot of money to so they'd send me off to the places I didn't want to go and hoped I wouldn't come back even though I always did until I decided I wouldn't. I could have spat in their faces forever but it wasn't doing me any good. I broke the rules too many times and then it came back to bite me in the ass."

"Why break the rules of a job you loved doing?"

"The word sociopath gets thrown around so often these days…"

"Sands…" She sighed.

"It got better results and it was more fun. Things become stale, sugar. You get stuck and the best way of getting out is to break away from what's normal. You should know, you did it was Bobby."

Charlie was about to instinctively correct him but didn't bother. She didn't care anymore. "Why did you want to be a CIA agent in the first place?"

"Jesus sugar, I feel like I'm on trial."

"I'm just asking."

Sands sighed, knowing she was going to laugh. "I wanted to play the hero."

"What?" She asked incredulously.

"It's true. I wanted to run around and stop the bad guys and be the cool agent. Cops have too many rules, FBI just seems like a lot of paperwork and everybody hates you, the CIA was anonymous, like you were a mystery. You show me a kid who doesn't like the sound of that."

"Play the hero…" She mulled it over. "Playing the hero got stale?"

"I realised it was much more fun to play the villain."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I mean, take a look at all those classic superheroes. They're fucking miserable. They're cool as in their costumes but Jesus; their alter egos were practically suicidal. I mean, Bruce Wayne? Orphan. Peter Parker? Loser. Clark Kent? The guy had to wear glasses when he didn't need them. Awful."

Charlie was genuinely smiling for the first time in days.

"And then all those super villains? They were just living it up on their own private islands and being fucking rich and awesome."

"But they always got beat by the heroes."

"Which is why it's best to be both. Play the hero by being the villain." He shrugged. "Only, it's worse when you get caught." Sands said, thinking of his eye extraction. "But then you get hot doctors to fix everything."

"And now you're a hero again."

"Wouldn't be so sure of that. I haven't saved you yet. Besides, I acted a lot more like a villain, stealing you away and keeping you to myself."

"I think we have very different definitions of heroes and villains, if that's the case." She said quietly. After a few seconds of him processing what she meant, Charlie felt him kiss the top of her head.

They were silent for a while before she decided she had to ask the question that she'd been putting off for days, so as not to put Sands in a worse mood. "Has there been…"

Sands frowned down at her. "What?"

"News? Is there any news? New developments?"

Sands sighed. "In terms of who's doing this from up top? None. I can't think of anyone who'd work with your ex and I can't find any information to make me think anyone in the CIA would work with him. In terms of who shot you? I'm still looking and I think I'm close."

"Really?"

"I hope so. I want my main priority to be getting you out of this country but I need to kill this guy so the sooner I get that done, the sooner I can move you somewhere else."

"Where are we going to go?"

Sands sighed. "I don't know. Anywhere you have in mind?"

The only place Charlie wanted to be was home. "No."

"We'll figure something out. We always do, and in the meantime, you're going to rest up and get every ounce of strength back. I need to go back out tomorrow but I'm hoping there might be a breakthrough. You'll be okay here. I'm paying Sadik too much money for you not to be and anyway, not many people know about this place. You don't mind being here alone, do you, sugar?" Sands frowned when she didn't reply. "Sugar?"

He looked down to see her fast asleep, comfortably cradled under him arm.

"Liar."

* * *

Charlie woke up the next morning and unlike the past few days, found that she didn't want to get out of bed. She could have happily laid there for the day, if not the next few hours. Once she woke up properly, she realised it was because she was cuddled into Sands. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, to see him reading over Barry's report.

"Finally woke up, did you?"

"I'm sorry." She said, trying to sit up and get off him but Sands gently kept a grasp on her so she wouldn't be forcing herself to move and bend which would hurt. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, I said I wouldn't. I guess I just missed this." She noticed his eyes looked exhausted and bloodshot, with black rings under them. "You didn't sleep."

"No, I didn't."

"Sands, I'm sorry." She said with a sigh. "Why didn't you wake me so you could move?"

"Because last night was the first night where you actually looked like you were sleeping peacefully and not on a sickbed."

"But you didn't even sleep and now you're going to want to go out and find this guy…"

"I'll be fine. I told you, agents have to function on very little sleep."

"All you're doing lately is running around and trying to find this guy. You're not eating, you're not sleeping."

"This is the usual, sugar. I do this on every case."

"But if you stay here, I'm sure I could make it worth your while." She said, trying to convince him.

"The offer is tempting but I'm going to have to turn you down. As has been proved, your stitches have a habit of tearing."

Charlie was silent for a while, trying not to sulk.

"Do you know how long it's been since you kissed me?"

Sands gave up, knowing she was going to win. "Too long." He replied, leaning down and pressing his lips against hers. When things were getting a little too passionate, Sands was the one who pulled away. "Nice try."

"I'll be fine." Charlie said.

"Sugar, you have no idea how much I want to have sex with you but it's not exactly possible at the moment. I can't lie on top of you now, can I?"

"We can be careful."

"Charlie, you just had surgery. Serious surgery, surgery that changed your entire life. If one of your patients had just went through the same experience, would you tell them it's fine to have sex a few days later?"

She sighed, knowing he was right. "No."

"How long would you tell them to wait?"

"It depends…"

"Your surgery."

Charlie sighed. "Six to eight weeks."

"Has it been six to eight weeks?"

"No."

"How many weeks has it been?"

"One."

"So stop trying to convince me because a few more minutes at it and I'll give in." He said. "Believe me; I am killing myself for saying no."

"Then don't say no."

"Would you give it up?" He asked, annoyed.

"Okay, yes I would recommend a few weeks but I would also say if the woman feels comfortable and there's no pain, there shouldn't be a problem. It's just a caution so…"

Sands shrugged. "Okay."

He kissed her again and lay down properly onto the bed. When things got passionate again, Charlie was trying not to wince in pain. Sands smirked when she unconsciously pushed him away, the pain becoming too much.

"That felt like me being right." He said, getting off the bed.

"That was mean."

"Well, I had to shut you up somehow." He shrugged. "You said if it was comfortable and there wasn't any pain. There was so tough luck, sugar."

"Charming."

"Says the sex addict."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I just want to get back to normal."

"Sugar, normal is you refusing sex, not insisting on it." He said, taking off his t-shirt. "Although I'm flattered."

"You should be. I never do that." She replied.

"I'll feel extra special today then." He leant down and kissed her. "I'm gonna go for a shower."

He walked into the bathroom and Charlie sulked for a while before she got up slowly and made her way into the bathroom as well where Sands was already showering behind the curtain.

"I can't wait to be able to have normal showers again."

"Sugar, I know I'm irresistible, believe me, I do but you seriously have to restrain yourself from following me and catching me unawares while I'm in my birthday suit. It's flattering but you need to calm down."

Charlie turned on the cold water on the sink faucet.

"Ow!"

"I came in here to change my bandages and clean the sutures, not to ogle you, you vain psycho."

"Sure, whatever you need to tell yourself, sugar. Don't touch that faucet!"

Charlie took her hand away. "Don't you think it's strange how this guy you know is just letting us shack up here without a problem?"

"Nope."

"Well, why is he letting us?"

"Because he's a nice guy." Sands said, not taking much notice.

"If he's such a nice guy and this is a good hiding place, why didn't we hide out here before?"

"Because I didn't want you around the people he associates."

"Why?"

"Because the people he associates with are people like me." Sands said.

"But you trust him now? You're the one who doesn't trust anybody."

"I know that. I just got dirt on this guy which makes him want to do me favours."

"What kind of dirt?" She asked.

"If I told you, he wouldn't trust me to keep my mouth shut, would he?"

"Well, shouldn't I know? I've been in the same house as the man for days."

"He knows if he laid a hand on you, I'd kill him." Sands said casually.

"I'd still like to know."

Sands huffed and poked his head out from the edge of the shower curtain. "He deserted the army. If he gets found out and his real identity gets known, he's going to get court marshalled and put into prison."

"Oh." Charlie nodded. "Why did he desert?"

"Jesus, I never thought I'd want you out of the room when I'm taking a shower."

"Alright, I'm sorry. No more questions."

"You're an angel." Sands said dryly.

Charlie's hand went to the faucet again.

"Fuck!"

Sands turned off the water and grabbed a towel off the railing before pulling the shower curtain away to look at her tiredly. He saw Charlie looking at him with a raised eyebrow. He huffed and got out walking over to her. "Take off your shirt."

"Why? What are you going to do to me?" She asked hesitantly, not liking the idea of his revenge.

"Calm down, I'm just going to help you clean and change your bandages."

"Oh." Charlie took off her shirt gently and Sands eyes went straight to her chest. She was wearing a bra but it was still enough. He was trying to be responsible but he hated it. He was missing sex more than she was.

"Sands?"

He looked back up at her face. "Right, bandages…"

Charlie smiled as he went to get them and she filled the sink with water. She added the antibacterial soap that Sands had managed to acquire and dipped a cloth into it, ringing it thoroughly. She was trying to clean it when Sands came back, now fully dressed.

"Here." He said, taking the cloth seeing as she was having difficulty. He began to gently clean around the sutures. He had to stand very close to her and the closeness was just bringing back those wants they had, that he resisting more than her.

"Stay here today."

Sands sighed. "I can't. The longer that guy is alive, the more dangerous it is for you. I need him dead and then you out of the country before whoever hired him realises he's dead and tries to hire someone else."

"One day won't kill me especially when you spend it here." She said, taking his face in her hands. "Just one day."

"Charlie…"

He didn't get to object as she kissed him. To be honest, she was worried about him. He was going out every day, looking for this hired gunman but what if this guy found Sands first? What if he didn't come back? At least if he stayed here, he'd be guaranteed another day.

Sands pulled away. "Stop doing that."

"What? Kissing you?"

"Using the fact that I'm missing having sex with you as a weapon."

"Not if it means you'll stay."

"You're evil."

Charlie smiled and kissed him again. She pulled away shortly after seeing as she still needed help with her bandages. Sands finished cleaning her sutures and began bandaging them up. Charlie watched him, wishing like always, that the mornings didn't come. Especially this one. She couldn't believe he had actually answered her questions last night. Sure, he'd tried to avoid them at first by talking about her but he eventually gave her a glimpse into something that wasn't cocky or smirking or anything that Sands used to hide behind. He'd just answered her questions honestly, no matter how it made him look.

"What are you smiling about?"

Charlie didn't even realise she was still smiling. "I was just thinking about last night."

"When you blatantly lied about not sleeping?"

"Before that."

"About why I was in the CIA?"

"Yeah."

"And what about it made such happy thoughts?" He asked, wrapping the bandages around her. "Running myself into a hole? My bosses hating me? The eventuality of my eyes getting ripped out?"

"You have a way of turning something nice into something awful, do you know that?"

"I do know." Sands said, taking his hands away. "You're done. Get back to bed. Do you think you can walk to the bedroom?"

"Of course."

"I meant without attempting to rape me."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "I think so."

They walked back into the bedroom and Charlie lay back down on the bed. Sands followed her over, grabbing his phone off the nightstand and giving her another quick kiss. "I gotta go."

"What?" She frowned. "You just said you'd stay."

"No, I didn't. You asked me to and I called you evil." Sands smirked. "Who'd want to stick around an evil person?"

"Sands, if I stay here one more day on my own, I'm going to go insane."

"I'll be back later."

"Fine." Charlie said, but she looked anything but.

"Come on sugar, don't be like that."

"I'm not being like anything." She said with a shrug but looking downtrodden.

"I am not going out there for myself; it's to find the guy who tried to kill you."

"I understand."

Sands nodded. "Good." She still didn't look happy but she'd have to put up with it. "I'll be back later then."

Charlie nodded and Sands left the room. After a few seconds, Charlie put her head down and closed her eyes. It wasn't like she was going to have anything better to do today.

She opened her eyes quickly and her head shot up when the door opened.

"You really are a fucking nuisance." Sands said, as he walked back and over to the bed.

Charlie smiled.

"I'm okay with that.

* * *

"Hey sugar, I got a question for ya…"

Charlie frowned. "What is it?"

"You know when we weren't together yet but we'd kissed but hadn't had sex yet?"

"Yeah."

"And your ex wasn't your ex yet."

Charlie didn't like that direction. "What about that time?"

"Well, I've always wondered…"

"What?"

"It's something you said in Florida, when you were drunk."

"Florida?" She repeated. "What made you think of that?"

"Everything, lately."

"Okay…"

"It's about how you thought about me when you were with him…"

"Sands, get to the point."

"You ever have sex with him after I kissed you?"

Charlie was frozen for a second. "I was wrong, you should go out."

"Look, I know it's not something you want to answer or that I should probably even ask but do you think I give a fuck about I should and shouldn't do?"

"That would be a no."

"Well, that's a question that's always been on my mind. More so since we figured out he was behind this."

"Why? Why would you even want to know that? It'll make you furious if I say yes."

"Is that a yes?"

"No."

"It's a no?"

"Stop it. I'm not discussing it. You were annoyed when you realised your call the night before we went to Florida interrupted us and that was just kissing; I could not imagine how telling you that would go down."

"You two were making out when I called?"

Charlie bit her lip. "You didn't know that?"

"No…" Sands said, looking very put out.

"Are you forgetting that I was in your bed the next night? And the next time I saw him, I was breaking up with him?"

"But before all those times…"

"Sands, I'm not answering this question. It makes you mad just knowing I slept with him at all."

She was right. That did make him mad.

"Don't do that to yourself." She said.

"You know all this skirting around the answer just makes me think it's a yes?"

"You do realise that if it was a yes, I still wouldn't have done anything wrong because at the time, kissing you was the wrong thing to do."

"Of course it was wrong if you did." Sands said as if it were obvious.

"How did you work that one out?"

"Because…You were mine by then."

Charlie frowned. "No, I wasn't. I wasn't anyone's but if we're using those terms, I was his."

"Come on, sugar, you weren't his anymore long before I came along."

"Well, I still wasn't yours yet."

"Not officially but you were."

Charlie sighed. "I can feel this conversation turning into a fight if it lasts any longer."

"Not if you say you never did."

"If I say I did, you'll be mad though you'll have no reason to be. If I say no, you'll act all smug and that'll piss me off. There's no winning here."

"Just…Say no." Sands said, miserably.

Charlie sighed. "Can I tell you something?"

"Depends on how unpleasant it is. If very, then no."

"I think it'll make you feel better."

"Oh, go on then."

Charlie took a breath. "I didn't sleep with Barry until I was twenty-three."

Sands looked at her, positive he'd misheard. "What?"

Charlie smiled at his shock. "It's true."

"You were a virgin until you were twenty-three? But, why wait that long?"

"Because sex wasn't important to me. I didn't want to do it and no one was forcing me to do something I didn't want to do."

"No, I can see it from your point of view, I guess but him?"

"Aren't you the one who always said he was cheating on me?"

"Yeah, but I didn't think you knew he was doing it."

"I didn't. I didn't take notice, not because I didn't care but because he used to be so nice to me. Now that I look back, it's kind of obvious."

"I suppose..."

Charlie frowned when he stopped. "What?"

"Well, he probably saw you as his nice little miss, you know, the type you'd want to marry and he got his jollies elsewhere with less reputable types." Sands shrugged.

"Great." She rolled her eyes. "I was never really bothered about sex though. I was striving for great things and no one was getting in my way or distracting me. It wasn't nerves and it wasn't insecurities, it was me putting myself before anyone else, including him. I didn't care about sex, I still don't."

Sands looked at her with a hint of a helpless expression which made her smile wider.

"I enjoy it with you and I miss it at the moment but it's not my life." She shrugged. "Even if we don't have sex, I still want to be with you. I still want to be a doctor. I wasn't denying you all that time for my own amusement; I just seriously never want anyone to get in my way."

"Jesus…"

"Oh please, it's not that bad." She huffed. "So I didn't jump into bed the first chance I got. Also, I was absolutely petrified of getting pregnant. One time could have ended my entire life."

"I didn't know being pregnant was a terminal illness."

"To me, it is."

"So, the recent developments…"

"Still make me really sad." She sighed. "But I guess…I don't know. I feel like I should be more devastated than I am." She shrugged. "I'm not though. I haven't even dwelled on it too much. I mean, I'm sad but I don't feel like a part of my life is over. I never wanted children but I'm bitter that someone out there took my choice away. I was more upset when I thought my career was over."

"Yeah, well you had your job and thought you were losing it. You weren't losing anything this time, just the thought of something that you didn't want anyway." Sands said.

"You sound like you're talking from experience."

"Nope."

Charlie looked up at him. "Really? You've never lost something you really wanted?"

"Oh yeah. I lost you when you went to Malibu but I've never lost something I've never really wanted, the way you have."

"Really? I would have said that's how you felt when I went to Malibu, not the other way around."

"What? Losing something I didn't really want?"

"Kinda."

"How are figuring that one out?"

"I doubt you would have been so zealous to go to Malibu and see me if we hadn't slept together."

"Of course I would have." He frowned.

"Oh, really? If I had turned you down, you would have still wanted to see me? Do you remember how angry you were in the motel room in Mexico when I turned you down? Shouting that you'd given up on me and didn't want anything more to do with me? Imagine if that hadn't ended with us having sex. We'd probably never have spoken again once we got home."

"Mac, I was pissed at that because I was scared shitless that I was falling in love with you and you didn't give a shit. I was genuinely angry but I still wanted you and I still maintain that you make things very infuriating because you constantly convince yourself that no one wants you. I was blue in the fucking face from telling you I wanted to be with you in Malibu and you didn't want to hear it."

Charlie didn't respond for a while.

"I love you."

"Love you too, sugar."

They were caught off guard when Sands' phone went off.

"Who is that?" Charlie asked quickly.

"Not the CIA, they don't know about this phone." He replied. "Although, they could have found out about it. Intelligence isn't in the name for the fun of it…" Sands answered. "Hello?"

Charlie watched his face as the person on the other end spoke.

"I'll be right there." He hung up the phone and got up quickly.

"Where are you going?" She asked. She didn't like seeing him pick up the gun holster and put it on.

"I had the bar guy of that dive watch out in case our trigger happy friend came back and he just sat down. I gotta go."

Charlie felt panic rise up inside her. "You can't."

Sands frowned at her. "Sugar, this is what we've been waiting for."

"No, it's not. I haven't been waiting for this. I haven't been waiting for you to be able to run out and shoot some guy and possibly get yourself killed."

"What the hell do you think I've been doing this entire time?"

"I know you want to kill him," She sighed. "But the police are probably looking for him too."

"And I'll find him first."

"Sands…"

"Charlie, everything will be fine. Trust me." He said, putting his gun inside the holster under his jacket. He walked over to her and kissed her. "I'll be back. Soon."

Charlie sighed. "You better be."

Sands gave her a lopsided smirk before he left the room. He walked outside where he saw Sadik tending to his garden. "I'm going out so…"

"I know, Agent Sands, no one goes in and she does not come outside. I will look after her."

Sands nodded and left to go to the restaurant. When he got there, he walked inside and saw the man sitting at a table. Sands took out his gun. The man behind the counter looked at him shocked.

"You can run or I can shoot you." Sands said. Usually, he wouldn't have given a choice but maybe Charlie's worry was getting to him, though that was something he had to tune out now.

The man wasted no time in hurrying out and closing the door behind him. Sands walked further inside and sat down across the table and the man looked up, his eyes widening. He went for his gun but Sands held his up first, into the man's face. He reached over and grabbed the man's gun, tossing it away.

"Who hired you?"

The man stayed silent.

Sands put the gun under the table and shot him in the kneecap causing the man to scream in pain.

"Once again, who hired you?"

The man spat onto the table and Sands shot the other kneecap.

"Now I have no name and you have no kneecaps. I better get a name or you're going to lose a lot more body parts."

"I did not get a name!" The man shouted. "Just two numbers and fifty thousand American dollars! We only spoke over the phone! Now just kill me like you plan!"

"What were the numbers?"

"I do not know them by memory!"

Sands nodded. "You got your phone on you?"

The man nodded.

"Great." Sands shot the man again, in each calve before going onto each shoulder.

"Stop! Please!"

"You shot my girl, I'm making you suffer. Speaking of," Sands reached over and shot in the groin. "Wow, loudest scream yet. Ouch." Sands smirked. "You know what? I don't think I'm going to kill you."

The man looked at him, his eyes wide and his lips covered in blood as he bit them to stop from screaming though strained groans and spluttering were coming from his mouth.

"No, I think I'm going to sit here and watch as you crawl to your gun over there," Sands pointed to the gun on the floor a little way away. "And put yourself out of this misery. After all, you didn't succeed in killing her."

The man didn't move.

"You want to bleed out? Fine by me." Sands shrugged. "I can wait."

Finally, the man threw himself to the floor and dragged himself along the dirt ridden floor, his growls of pain becoming louder. Sands got up and walked over too, kicking the gun away just as the man was about to reach it.

"Oops, my bad."

He tried to reach for it again but Sands kicked it away again.

"Aw, look at you. You're like an ant I got under my magnifying glass and I'm just watching you squirm." Sands smirked. "Though, I really should be getting back. This was fun though." Sands kicked the man onto his back. "All that torture, that was for me. This though? This is for her." Sands raised his gun and shot the man in the head, finally killing him.

Sands sighed as if he'd just been after partaking in a pleasurable hobby.

"I really needed that."

* * *

Charlie was lying in bed, the only thing she seemed to do anymore, and dozing in and out from sleep. Doing nothing made her exhausted. She was napping for a while when she was awoken by a loud bang.

_Oh God, what was that?_

Her heavy breathing subsided as she frowned. Had she just dreamt it? It wouldn't be the first time her dreams had been vivid, especially not recently.

She felt less relaxed in her thought that it was just a dream when she heard footsteps outside the room.

"Sadik?" She called, hoping. "Sands? Is that you? Are you back?"

_Please be back._

Charlie jumped when the door burst open.

"Hey, babe."

* * *

_Here it is._

Sands checked the man's pockets, finding his phone. He decided he'd bring it back to Charlie. SHe'd probably recognise Barry's number if it was on there and with her good memory, she might recognise the other number from someone in thr CIA. He left the restaurant through the back door and hailed a taxi back to Sadik's place. He frowned as he got out when he saw the front door ajar. He walked inside and into the living room where he heard the television. He froze when he saw Sadik in an armchair, a bullet in his head. Sands ran from the living room into the bedroom Charlie should have been in.

He saw the bed covers scrambled on the floor, the nightstand overturned with shards of ceramic from the smashed bowl, water covering the floor. The room was small but it was in as much of a mess as possible.

He took the shooter's phone out of his pocket quickly when it began to ring.

"Where is she?"

"Oh, so you've killed him then?"

"Ah, fuckmook." Sands said, hearing Barry's voice on the other end. "So disappointed to hear you weren't really missing and presumed dead."

"I was disappointed when my girlfriend decided to give your blind ass a pit fuck but hey, that's life. I'm trying to fix it now though."

"By killing her?"

He heard Barry chuckled on the other end. There was a few seconds of silence before Sands heard a loud smack on the other end.

"Sands?" He heard her voice shake a few seconds later

"Charlie? Where are you?"

"Don't come here. Don…"

Barry took the phone away and put it up to his own ear again. "Does she sound dead to you?"

Sands thought back to the guy in the restaurant, the perfect opportunity to keep Sands away from Charlie. "You fucking planned for him to be there."

"Had to get you to leave her alone somehow. You're pretty content not to protect her."

"If you lay a fucking finger on her…"

"Because it'll be new to her? I've had my hands all over her and once you're dead, I will again."

"You don't understand free will all that well, do ya?"

"There's a warehouse, just outside the town, past the hospital. If you want to try and get her, you'll come. If you don't then you're free to hop on a plane and forget all about her. It's up to you."

Barry hung up and Sands hurried out of the house.

_I need to steal a car._

* * *

**I always thought Sands would view his own life like a comic book or a graphic novel. He just seems like he'd be that secretly nerdy. =P Anyhoo, rough times ahead.**

**Also, I know a few of you asked for a companion chapter to ch. 35 in Secrets and I wasn't going to originally but sure, why not? I'm working on it so hopefully it'll be uploaded soon.**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	39. Win Or Lose

**To dionne dance: Sands is nearly always right! Although, as Ajedrez proved, when he's wrong, he's very wong! =P Thanks.**

**To JohhnyDeppluvthedude: Thank you! I'm glad you like Charlie!**

**Here's Chapter 39!**

"Boy, he sure is taking his time."

Barry looked down at Charlie where she was sitting on the floor of the receptionist's office of the warehouse. Barry was sitting at the desk, next to the security camera screens. In his hand was a gun that Charlie had no doubt he was willing to use.

"Maybe he's not coming." She suggested.

"Babe, he travelled across the world for you, he can travel across the city. He's coming."

"He's not an idiot; he'll know this is a trap."

"Yes, he will which is why he will come prepared and I would expect nothing less but regardless of the fact that he will come prepared, he will still come because I'm here and I have you and he wants you back."

Charlie shook her head. "Why are you doing this?"

"Revenge, mainly. I gave up ten years of my life and had it thrown back in my face. Ten years of pretending I was some whiny, pathetic loser just so you'd feel better about your whiny, pathetic life."

Charlie glared at him. "Why bother?"

"Because I love you." Barry shrugged. "You may be a whiny, pathetic loser but you're my whiny pathetic loser. Our relationship was great from my point of view, a constant game of cat and mouse where we both try to hide who we really are while outsmarting the other. I'd get closer to your secret but that brilliant brain of yours would come into action, I loved seeing that happen."

"If I had a brilliant brain, I would have figured out about you trying to get into the CIA or you knowing my secret. I had no clue. Not very smart."

"You'd be surprised, you were so close to figuring out everything quite a bit but you never realised. You see, Charlie, that big brain of yours, it used to be so…Phenomenal but you always stop yourself from really using it to the best of your ability. You learned social graces and stopped being fun. On the plus side, my experiment worked."

Charlie frowned. "Experiment?"

"Yes. The one where you, you little genius, were my guinea pig. I wanted to see if I could take this extraordinary human being and psychologically mould her into something completely un-extraordinary. When I met you, you wouldn't talk unless you were rattling off facts or discussing something you'd read in a book or debating with someone who was no longer interested and just humouring you. You were so…" Barry seemed to search for the right word. "Avoidable."

"But then you came along to fix me?"

"I don't take all the credit, that would just be selfish. Some credit has to go to daddy dearest."

Charlie looked at him with wide eyes.

"Mhmm, I know all about that." Barry nodded. "Heartbreaking stuff, no wonder you shut yourself away from trying to connect with people for so long."

"Just because you know what happened doesn't mean you have any idea how I felt!" Charlie said angrily. "You have no right to even talk about it!"

"I also have no right to kidnap you and hold you hostage here. I have no right to kill your boyfriend when he gets here. I have no right to do a lot of things but in case you haven't noticed, I'm doing them anyway."

"I don't understand why." She said. "I know you, Barry but it feels like I'm talking to a stranger. You're not this person, this murdering, evil person. Everything that happened is between me and you; it has nothing to do with him…"

"Yet he's always there! Ever since he came into your life, whenever I tried to talk to you or be with you, he was always there, even when he wasn't. You were always thinking about him."

"I was telling the truth, you know. I never slept with him when we were together."

"Bullshit."

"It's the truth."

"Then why was he in your hotel room in Florida?"

Charlie decided if she lied, he'd know. "He was trying to get me to sleep with him. A lot. I didn't though, not until after we broke up and I didn't break up with you because of him."

"You're seriously trying to pawn that shit off on me?" He asked angrily.

"I'm telling the truth." She maintained. "I did not end things with you so I could be with Sands. I didn't sleep with him until we were trapped in Mexico and that was long after we broke up. I broke up with you because I didn't feel what I used to and I know you didn't either."

"Sure, I'm just doing all this because I'm bored. I love you."

"You love owning me." Charlie huffed. "You loved the thought of me, and now I realised in more ways than I thought, but you didn't love me. You said it yourself; I was a whiny, pathetic loser. What was there to love?"

"Why does he love you?"

Charlie was silent for a second. "I don't know."

"But you still believe him when he says it. So, why don't I get the same conviction?"

"Because of things like this!" She said. "Because you do not hold someone you love hostage!"

"Do you think I like doing this? Do you think I like the fact that the only way I can get near you is to do shit like this?"

Charlie sighed. "Look, I know I didn't do things the right way, the way I should have. We were together for ten years and all of a sudden, I told you things were over and to get out. If I had done things right, I would have talked to you more, I would have sat down and given you a few more hours of my time as opposed to saying we're done and expecting you to deal with it and not be around me anymore. I should have been more responsible about it but…But the outcome would have been the same. You never would have convinced me to stay, the same way he never convinced me to break up with you. I just followed my own instincts all the time."

"In case you haven't noticed, your own instincts haven't done you much good." Barry said, signalling around him.

"I realise that but Barry, this is about you and me, this has nothing to do with him."

Barry chuckled but Charlie could tell there was no humour behind it. "All of this is about protecting him, are you fucking kidding me? I actually thought you were trying to be genuine."

"I am!" Charlie defended. "I am not saying this for his benefit; I am saying it because it's the truth. You want the two of us to talk and sort out where our relationship ended? I can do that. I will give you all the time you want but none of what you're doing right now will work, it won't last. Even if you do kill Sands, are you going to kill me too? If you love me like you say, you won't be able to and if you're able to then you don't really love me and all of this was for nothing. You could have moved on and found someone you could really love."

Barry didn't know how to answer or didn't want to as he turned away from her, back to the screens.

After a few minutes of tense silence, Charlie looked at the table where she saw a little box.

"What is that?"

Barry looked back at the little velvet box. "Just a little reminder of what you did to me when all I did was try to make a life for us."

"Us? By the time you decided to give me that ring, there was no 'us' anymore. You only did it because I broke up with you and what better way to get me under your thumb again than trying to get me to marry you so I could never get away?"

"Under my thumb? Living a secret life was being under my thumb? Never moving in together was being under my thumb? Me never having a fucking choice about our relationship was living under my thumb?"

Charlie didn't answer. To be honest, how could she argue? He was right but wrong at the same time. "So you decide to kidnap me, why? To even the score?"

"I thought you'd see sense on your own," Barry said, waving the gun around a little. "But you let him get into your head and mess you around and now…"

"You're going to save me?" She finished sarcastically.

"I'm going to get things back to normal, the way they should be."

"Are you serious? Barry, even if you kill Sands which you won't, I will never get back together with you! I'm never going to go near you again! I hate you so much; it makes me feel sick looking at you right now."

Charlie felt a hard slap across her face. She brought her head back and looked up at him. "Yeah, slapping me around is a great to get me back. You're a modern day Casanova."

"What the hell happened you?" He frowned. "You used to be the best thing in my life and now you're just…Trying to piss me off and…"

"You tried to kill me!" She shouted.

"No! No, I didn't! I meant to kill him! He was the target, not you. I would never do that to you."

"Really? The stitches on my abdomen would prove otherwise. You know, the stitches that were nearly ripped for the second time when you grabbed me and kidnapped me. The first time was when your gunman tried to finish the job at the hospital and he wasn't aiming for Sands, he was aiming for me."

"Jesus Charlie, why would I try to kill you? I love you! I want you back in my life which would be pretty hard if you're dead."

"Well, maybe whoever you're working with doesn't like me as much you do." She said. "Who is that, exactly?"

"Doesn't matter, we've parted ways."

Charlie frowned. "You're not working together with the CIA anymore?"

"I was never working with the CIA; I was working with someone who owed me a very big favour."

"But they worked in the CIA?"

"They still do."

"Who?"

Barry looked down at her sceptically. "You don't really think I'm going to tell you, do you? I tell you and I can never use that service again."

"But if you've parted ways, can you still use it anyway?"

Barry smirked. "Oh yeah. Let's just say I have special consideration."

"What does that mean?" When Barry didn't answer, Charlie sighed. "Why part ways if you can get whatever you want?"

"I never said I could get what I want and when it became evident my partner couldn't give me what I want, I had to go out to do it myself."

"To kill Sands?"

"No, you."

"They couldn't bring me to you? They never tried, believe me. The only thing that happened to me was that I got shot so obviously whoever they hired found me and instead of trying to bring me to you, they tried to kill me. Your silent partner seems to be working their own agenda."

"Which is why we parted ways."

Well, at least that was something. If this partner realised that Barry had decided to run out and do things on his own, he might try and stop him and use the CIA to do it. Her and Sands might survive yet.

"Looks like the fun is about to begin." Charlie looked up from the floor when Barry spoke to see a car pull up to the parking lot on the security camera. "Took his time but I knew he'd get here eventually."

Barry got up and Charlie panicked. "What are you going to do?"

"Set the bait."

* * *

Sands walked into the warehouse, his gun pointed in front of him. He wasn't sure what would greet him when he walked inside but he wasn't expecting this. The place was completely empty. Sure, it had wooden crates upon crates and wooden boxes and things you'd expect to find in a warehouse but no sign of anyone around. Where were they? Had Barry lied and sent him to the wrong place? Was he about to walk into some trap? Whatever Sands could think of that could be happening; he didn't like any of the options.

"Well, you took your time."

Sands froze at Barry's voice. He looked around but saw no sign of him or Charlie. "Where are you?"

"Not worried about her?"

"I assume she's with you." Sands said.

"Wrong. That wouldn't be nearly as fun." Sands looked up at the speakers, realising that Barry could be at the other end of the factory and watching him through the security cameras. "You like fun, don't you Sheldon? Playing with people's lives? Watching people fall? Cheating? Everything's a big game to you. Well, if you like games, you're going to love the one I have planned."

"I somehow doubt that."

"Well, feel free to turn around and leave at any time. I can assure you, you get a very good consolation prize for just showing up."

"And what's that?"

"Your life."

"You seem to underestimate me, Billy. Are you forgetting that I got into the CIA and you didn't?"

"And yet, I stole her from right under you."

"Well, I stole her from right under you first."

"Watch the attitude, Sheldon. Do you really think it's going to help her chances if you piss me off?"

"I thought she wasn't with you?" Sands asked, beginning to step forward.

"Stop walking." Sands did so. "She isn't with me but if you think I left her alone without some insurance, you're stupider than I thought you were."

Sands decided to get to the point. "What game are you talking about?"

"I was hoping we'd get to that. This warehouse is the maze and you're the rat. In the middle of the maze is your prize but if you don't find her in time, well…Let's just say she's dying to see you."

Sands looked around.

"Don't think of calling her to see if she'll respond, she's a little hindered at the moment." Barry went on. "Now, your arrogance made things run a little longer than I was expecting so begin whenever you're ready. I wouldn't wait too long though. Tick tock."

Barry didn't speak again so Sands took a step forward hesitantly. When nothing happened, Sands began to walk around the boxes, looking for Charlie. He kept his gun out and aimed the entire time, just in case. He didn't know where he could find her. What if she was tied up in one of the crates? What if she wasn't here at all and it was a trap? What if he didn't find her in this weird little time bracket Barry had alluded to? Sands kept walking until he himself didn't know where he was in the warehouse. He was somewhere in the middle but all he could see around him were crates. They were too high to see anything over them but the roof which didn't make him feel safer. He had no doubt that Barry was watching this entire thing on the cameras and knew exactly how close or far Sands was to Charlie and Sands didn't like that at all. He didn't like being a puppet in this sick guy's game. He was beginning to realise that his own attitude was now working against him. He'd said before that he and Barry were alike and only now was he realising how true that statement was.

Sands turned around another set of crates and his eyes widened when he saw Charlie sitting on the floor a few metres away from him, tied up and with tape over her mouth. An oversized brown factory coat was wrapped around her as if to keep her warm but Sands suspected something much more sinister. He hurried over to her though she tried to shake her head and her voice strained through the tape. Regardless, Sands got over and crouched down to her.

"Are you alright?" Sands asked quickly, taking the tape away.

"No! Get away from me! You have to leave!" She said loudly. "Go! Get away from me!"

Sands frowned. "What's going on? What happened?"

"Sands, you need to leave! Just go!"

"Charlie?"

"Looks like you found the piece of cheese." The voice on the speakers came again. "Well done. You know, I never meant for her to get shot. Really, I didn't. That bullet was meant for you, Sheldon. I was even nice enough to change her bandages while I had her. Why don't you take a look at the great job I did?"

Sands frowned.

"Don't." Charlie said, tears in her eyes. "Just leave."

"Charlie," Barry reprimanded. "Don't spoil the fun. I know you love to do it but I worked very hard on this surprise and I don't want you to blow it. Or make me blow it, if you'll excuse the pun."

Sands frowned as his hand went to the coat as she closed her eyes. He pulled it back and his eyes widened when he saw a bomb strapped around her waist. "Shit."

"Yes, a mousetrap, I'm afraid." Barry's voice boomed out again. "You got your piece of cheese but it comes at a very heavy price, rat. You should have taken the consolation prize."

"You're not going to kill us." Sands said. "You're having too much fun."

"That's true." Barry replied. "This is just a precaution to make sure you don't drag her out of here. You see, you try and take it off or take her away, I press this little button in my hand and you both get blown to pieces."

"Why do that?" Sands frowned. "Why not just keep her with you? Why do to all this trouble if you could have just pointed a gun at her head?"

"That's not nearly as much fun. Besides," Sands stood up and turned when instead of his voice coming out of the speakers, Barry's voice echoed behind him. Up on the railings that were visible from this part of the warehouse was Barry looking down on both of them, his gun pointed at Sands. "If I was pointing the gun at her, I'd have to keep an eye on her and I need to keep my eye on you."

"Well, now I'm here. What do you want?" Sands called up.

"To kill you."

"That's obvious but what are you going to do once you've accomplished that?"

"Be pretty satisfied with myself."

"I meant with Charlie. You must have a plan for her too."

"Of course I do. I'm not stupid enough to just tell you it when I don't have to."

"I wouldn't agree with that."

"Careful Sheldon, you're really not in the position to piss me off. Unless I was right and you don't actually care about her."

"If you set that thing off, you're killing yourself too."

"If I have to kill her, there's really no point in me sticking around."

"If you really loved her, you wouldn't even think of hurting her."

"I'm getting lessons on how to be with her from you now? The guy who's been with her, for what? Five minutes?"

Charlie looked between the two, knowing not to talk. She wanted to. Several times, she had bitten her tongue but she knew anything she said would be on Sands' side and if she tried to make it out like she wasn't, Barry would know she was lying. If she couldn't make Barry sweet, she couldn't say anything at all.

"This is me telling you how to be with her," Sands said. "This is common sense. If you love someone, you don't kill them."

"I'll be dead too so what will it matter?"

"So it's a case of if you can't have here, no one can?"

"Don't you feel the same way?" Barry smirked. "You want her to yourself and it'd kill you to think she was off fucking another guy?"

"Well, I always said you and I were alike. I'd be pissed, sad even, but I wouldn't kidnap her and strap a bomb to her waist, planning to blow her to shreds."

"Oh well, then I guess I was wrong, you're a saint." Barry said sarcastically.

"Look, where is all this leading to?" Sands asked. "It's great that you want to stand around and throw jibes at each other but this has to be leading to something and I'd kind of like to know what."

"Take the clip out of your gun." Barry ordered.

"So you can shoot me? That's it?"

"I'm not going to shoot you. Yet. Although, if you give me a reason to… If you drop your gun, I'll be less suspicious and my finger on this button here might not get fidgety and just push it anyway. Take out the clip and throw it away."

Sands was still for a few seconds before releasing the clip and throwing it away from him and dropping the gun.

"And the others?"

Sands reached in and took the two guns out of the holsters under his jacket and did the same.

"Good," Barry said. "Now step away from her."

"Not confident of your shot?" Sands teased.

"Want to find out?"

"Barry, you don't have to do any of this." Charlie said, not being able to stay silent any longer.

"Put the tape back over her mouth." He commanded Sands.

"Can't stand her talking back to you?" Sands asked. "Like controlling what she can and can't say now?"

"Do it." Barry said, cocking his gun.

Sands didn't have a choice so he crouched down. "Sorry, sugar." He looked into her eyes, hoping his own could hold some comfort even if he wasn't sure how he was going to get them out of this. He put the tape over her mouth again before turning back to Barry. "Now, what do you want me to do? Will any of it involve you coming down here to face me like a man? This is taking forever and I'd kind of like to take my girlfriend home."

Barry smirked but Sands could see the anger in his eyes, even from the distance. "Don't call her that."

"What? My girlfriend? What would you prefer I call her? My lover? My partner? Sweetheart? Significant other? Lady friend? It doesn't matter what I call her really, all that matters is that I can call her them and you can't."

"You won't be able to call her anything when you're dead."

"Oh, really? Are you going to get around to that at some point or are you going to stay up there like a coward?"

"How much do you love her?" Barry asked.

"What?" Sands frowned.

"How much?"

He rolled his eyes. "A lot."

"It's amazing how you were only willing to tell her that after you saw her." Barry shrugged. "You only wanted to be with her when you saw what she looked like."

"That's not…"

"I want to make sure you deserve her."

Sands didn't understand. "What do you mean by that?"

"Well, she fell in love with you when you had no eyes. She didn't care about how you looked, she just loved you. Prove you can do the same."

Sands felt dread fill him up. "What?"

He backed up a little when Barry threw a knife onto the floor. "Prove that you love her for who she is, not what she looks like."

"You want me to cut out her eyes?"

"I would say cut off her nose to spite her face but that's just too obvious. Do something to damage her. It doesn't have to be cut out her eyes, you could go for the ol' Glasgow smile, just leave a big, nasty scar, I'm giving you a lot of leeway here."

"I won't."

"Do it."

"You're crazy."

"Do something that'll change your lives forever."

"No."

"Do something to make you hate the sight of her!"

"No!"

"Do it or I blow you both up."

Sands was still. He didn't know what to do. Eventually, much to Barry's delight, he picked up the knife and turned, walking over to Charlie who closed her tear ridden eyes.

He crouched down in front of her. "I'm so sorry, sugar."

Charlie closed her eyes tighter and waited for the inevitable pain.

She opened her eyes, shocked, as he cut open the binds on her feet and wrists and took the tape off her mouth again. He dropped the knife and turned to back to Barry.

"Blow us up."

Barry frowned. "What?"

"Press that little button and blow us both up. You're forgetting something, Bar. I was the psychopath first and I would rather both me and her get blown to pieces than to have you win and take her for the rest of your life. I would rather all three of us die than let you win. At least if you kill her now, she died loving me. She died thinking you were the evil villain and hating you and loving me. If you kill her now, I still win."

Barry was rushing down the metal steps now before walking towards them. "I'm not going to let you win."

"You have no choice unless you let me take her out of here. The only way you win in this situation is if she no longer thinks you're the worst human being on the planet, if you redeem yourself."

"You still win! You still get her! I want to ruin your life, the way you ruined mine."

"You already ruined it." Sands said. "For the rest of my life, I have to put up with the fact that she loved you first, that she loved you at all. I have to deal with the fact that she spent ten years of her life with someone I hate and that, no matter what, I can't change that. I can't change the fact that she slept with you or was happy with you or loved you. I have to forever live with the fact that she chose you first."

Charlie was about to talk but she saw Sands hand discreetly turn so his palm was facing her as if telling her to hold off.

"If you kill her now or kill me," Sands continued. "You're still going to lose. I mean, where's your partner? The one from the CIA? I know you might not know how the CIA works seeing as you never got in but they do shit like this quietly. A blown up warehouse with three charred bodies inside? Not really their M.O. This deluded plan is no one's but yours and that's the reason your partner isn't here. You two have split up or better yet because he would have stopped you, he doesn't know. He's going to be mad."

"I don't need his fucking permission. I wasn't getting what I wanted so I decided to do my own thing."

Sands tried not to smirk; well at least they knew it was a man. He walked around and Barry's aim followed him.

"Look, I told you to blow us up five minutes ago and you have yet to do it. I think I've called your bluff. Give up."

"Oh really?" Barry said, holding up the button.

"Jesus, it's like talking to a fucking ape. Press the button, fuckmook! Blow us all up to high hell and prove to the CIA and to Charlie what I have always known, you're a moron who couldn't organise an orgy in a brothel."

"Shut up! You have no clue…"

"What I'm talking about?" Sands and Barry has circled each other so they were in each other's original positions. "You're not a moron? Really? Why don't you look behind you and see if you want to commit to that statement?"

Barry frowned and turned to see that his bomb was on the floor with the wires pulled out, making it useless and Charlie was gone.

"A little note, dumbass? If you take hostages, take note of what they're doing."

"Where the fuck is she?"

"Gone to call the police is my guess." Sands shrugged.

Barry turned to go after her but quickly felt a hard pain in his jaw as Sands made his move, elbowing him into the side of the head to get the gun. Barry recovered quickly and fought back until the two were struggling for the gun or at least to knock each other out.

Meanwhile, Charlie was trying to make her way back to the receptionist's office to call the police, praying that Sands was keeping Barry distracted. Her hope diminished and she jumped when she heard a gunshot.

_Oh God, please don't let it be Sands. Please._

She slowly crept forward, not knowing whether to go back or continue to the receptionist's office.

"Charlie? Where are you?"

She closed her eyes; her worst fears confirmed when she heard Barry's voice.

"Oh God…" She whispered to herself.

"There's nowhere you can run, babe. I will find you."

His voice was getting closer so Charlie weaved her way around the crates, trying to distance herself from it while trying to make her way back to where Sands was. She froze and placed her back up against a crate when she heard Barry's footsteps a few feet behind her. If he walked down and turned the corner, he'd find her. She tried not to move, to not make any noise. She even held her breath. Eventually the footsteps got lighter, going in a different direction, most likely the office. Charlie hurried back and eventually found Sands lying on the floor.

"Sands…" She hurried over to him and knelt down. "Sands, can you hear me?" She looked at his torso but frowned when she saw a bullet but no blood. "What…?"

She jumped when Sands got up quickly. "We need to go."

"What…I thought…"

"Level two bullet proof vest, light enough to be concealable under shirts." He said, hurrying over and grabbing the clip and the gun, putting them back together. He turned to her quickly. "We need to go now. Chances are he saw you find me and is watching this right now." He grabbed her arm and began hurrying her through the warehouse.

Both were thrown into crates and onto the floor when an explosion went off. Sands lifted himself up a few seconds later, realising what happened. Barry had more than one bomb and they were laced throughout the warehouse. Once he saw them getting away, he set one off. Now a fire was quickly spreading through the crates which would probably set off more when it got to them. Sands got up and saw Charlie lying on the floor. He hurried over to her and turned her onto her back to see her eyes closed.

"Charlie, wake up." He said, shaking her slightly. He looked down and saw her stitches ripped again. "Fuck. Charlie!"

He let out a sigh of relief when he saw her come around.

"What happened?" She groaned, trying to get up as quickly as she could.

Sands got her onto her feet. "He's a fucking psycho and he's not taking any more chances."

He pulled her through the warehouse and Charlie tried to keep up but she was losing her breath quickly due to losing more and more blood. It also wasn't easy with the fire spreading, blocking certain paths and causing more explosions to go off, though luckily none were near them as Sands was trying to stay away from the fire. The task was proving more difficult though as it tore through the warehouse.

Sands stopped when he felt his hand get pulled and lose touch with Charlie's. He turned quickly with his gun raised to see Charlie being grabbed by Barry, who held her in front of him with the knife in one hand pressing against her damaged stomach and the gun to her head.

"I've had enough of this shit." Barry said. "It's time for you to die."

"You tried that already, it didn't work." Sands said. "If you want to try again, fine. Let her go."

"And give you a better target so you can shoot me?" Barry laughed though it was humourless. "Nice try."

Charlie flinched when there was another explosion, closer to them this time. They weren't huge explosions but the fire they were causing was big enough and even little explosions could kill if close enough.

"This place is going to blow in I don't know how long and then, what was the point in any of this?" Sands yelled. "Let her go and it's just between us, then. That's what you wanted. Get her out of here and then there's nothing stopping us from killing each other. It's better than nothing, us both getting what we want. Me winning doesn't mean you lose."

"I'm not leaving!" Charlie shouted, struggling against Barry.

"Charlie, shut up." Sands said.

"No! I have been quiet too much! I am not running out of here and leaving you! Barry, if you want to kill him, you kill me too because I will never, ever be with you again and you will never be able to make me! I don't care what plan you had for me, it won't work! I don't care about you at all so just shoot me now and get it over with! I would rather die than let you win!"

"If you shoot her, we both lose." Sands said, seeing Barry getting angrier at her words. "What's the point of that? The only thing we both want out of this is a life with her. It'd be pretty fucking pointless if she died and we survived."

Barry grabbed her tighter. "You bitch! I dedicated everything to you and you…" Barry frowned when she slumped in his arms. "Charlie?"

"She's unconscious." Sands said quickly, knowing it was from the blood loss. "Barry, if you don't let me take her out of here now to get to a hospital, she will definitely die! She is bleeding out!"

Barry shook his head, not knowing what to do. He got a shock when she felt an elbow to the ribs as Charlie ended her trick. Sands hurried forward to catch her, shooting the gun and hitting Barry but Barry was just as quick because as Sands raised the gun, Barry raised the knife and embedded it in Sands' ribs. Both men fell backwards but Barry fell back to the floor with a thud and Sands had Charlie to catch him though she wasn't strong enough to keep him upright.

"Sands!"

She was covered in blood from the spatter of Barry's gunshot wound spraying the side of her face and her hands were now on Sands' own wound, trying to press against it, not to mention her wound.

"Come on." Sands croaked, trying to get up. He managed it and both Charlie and he carried each other through the warehouse finally getting outside where they both collapsed to the floor and up against Sands' stolen car. Luckily the fire was big enough that it had been seen and in the distance, sirens could be heard.

"Are you alright?" Charlie asked.

"Just peachy, sugar." Sands groaned. "I got you out and beat the bad guy, I'm almost a hero."

"Are," Charlie said, taking his face in her hand and making him look at her. "You are a hero."

She tried to keep conscious as they kissed; not wanting to miss that moment but everything was getting hazier, only it was real this time. The kiss parted and Sands stroked her cheek, trying to stay conscious himself but his bulletproof vest had been incredibly light and he was pretty sure the bullet he'd been hit with had broken his ribs which didn't improve at all when he was stabbed in them. He was bleeding very heavily and he had nothing to stop it like Charlie had with her old but still intact bandages. Blood was seeping through her shirt and wetting it but he was drenched.

"Charlie?" Sands frowned, stopping his ministrations when he realised her eyes weren't closed because she liked what he was doing, she was just unconscious. "Come on, sugar, just stay with me a little longer…"

Sands didn't know what he was talking about; he could feel himself succumbing to unconsciousness too. He kept his hand on her cheek as he waited.

Both were unconscious by the time help came.

* * *

**Here's something I never told you guys, this is the penultimate chapter! Yeah, the next chapter is the last one. Sorry about that. Aren't you glad he saved her though?**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	40. Rigging The Game

**To dionne dance: Thanks!**

**Here's Chapter 40!**

"Don't you have anything a little more stylish?"

"Just put it on."

"There's not even a slogan…"

"Just put it on, Sands."

Sands huffed and put on the plain grey hoodie. "There, happy? Now, where is she?"

"You don't need to know that now."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Sands said angrily. "You think I don't need to know a fucking lot. I didn't need to know you've been in the country for a week, I didn't need to know that you knew what was going on the entire time! I've been conscious for a day and a half, been actually lucid for around for six of them and you have dodged every one of my questions since you showed your face! Not this time. Where is she?"

"I'm not telling you."

"She's obviously in the hospital! I will find her."

"Not until we say so."

"I don't know why I'm letting you tell me what to do when you've been so unhelpful."

Trevor rolled his eyes. "I'm here, aren't I? You two couldn't have picked a closer spot to hide out?"

"Jeez, sorry we're such a nuisance. Tell you what, now that I've already fixed everything, why don't you fuck off and forget all about us?"

"You have no right to be angry." Trevor said, trying to hold his own anger in.

"Don't I?" Sands asked with a raised eyebrow. "Because you guys did such a stellar job? Where is she?"

"You're not going to know."

"You can't control…"

"Yes, we can. We control everything our agents do." Trevor said angrily. "You don't get to sneeze without our permission and after the stunt you pulled; you aren't going to be getting permission for anything. I gave you one more chance, Sands. One more chance to be a good agent who could follow the rules and you spat in my face. Well, no more. I'm done. I'm done with sticking up for you, I'm done with ignoring everything you do wrong, I'm done with being the only one you can depend on. As far as I'm concerned, you're just another bad agent who needs to be taught a lesson and I'm washing my hands of you. Let someone else dole out the punishments and the favours. I'm just your boss now."

Trevor began to walk out of the hospital room but Sands' voice stopped him.

"So you'd rather I didn't try and help her? That she was alone and died?"

Trevor turned around. "I'm not discussing this with you. Stay in here. If you leave and try to find her, I'll know about it."

"Why do you care so fucking much now if I'm with her? It's only okay when I'm saving her life so you don't have to? You've been in the country for a week! A fucking week and you didn't try to help once! You wanted to see where things went! You wanted to see how things played out! Hopefully one of us would die and you wouldn't have to worry about what the two us together meant!"

"That's not true." Trevor said. "We didn't want either of you to die."

"Bullshit! You knew if one of us died, the other would have no one but the CIA to depend on. Well guess what? We both survived."

"Yeah, believe it or not, we figured that one out."

"Don't be sarcastic." Sands said, not at all amused.

"You're seriously this angry at us? We've left you alone to finish missions before."

"Mexico? Where you guys were abandoning me? Cut off all contact?"

"You know what happens to agents who get in too deep. If we feel they can't get out…"

"You leave them there to die. Yeah, I remember."

"We came to get you when it was over."

"You wouldn't have if Ramirez hadn't called! You came because someone besides us knew what was going on!" Sands said. He'd been keeping these things quiet for months, hoping if he dropped any reminder of Mexico, they'd drop any reminder of it and not fire him or kill him for his stunt down there with the money. Now though, he was done with creeping around that agency. "If Ramirez didn't let you know that he knew about the CIA and was with the FBI, I'd still be down there, trying to make my around with no eyes and nothing but a bunch of guns."

"The blind gunman, right up your street."

"Not really."

"What do you want, Sands?" Trevor shrugged. "We brought you back from Mexico and no, we didn't have to. I brought you back from Mexico; the other bosses wanted no part of it. They wanted to leave you down there to rot because you drove everyone to hating you. That's not my problem, that's not Macintosh's problem, that is no one's problem but your own. We sent you away so we wouldn't have to deal with you, you caught us. Well done. We cut off all contact because we saw you weren't content with being driven away; you were going to make our jobs as hard as possible."

"I did what…"

"Yeah, you did what we sent you to and what were you going to do afterwards, huh? You were going to run off with twenty mill. We should have sent someone to put an end to you after that. We didn't. We decided your work as an agent was more important than your crappiness as a person. You're lucky for that, don't forget it."

"How is it luck if it's my own abilities that kept me alive?"

"Abilities mean nothing when you have no respect for the job at hand."

"Don't I?"

"No. You undercut us, disrespect us, kill your fellow agents…"

"I didn't kill Mill…"

"Go rogue, fuck your doctor…"

"Don't even…"

"What? Tell the truth? Point out why some of the people in the CIA might not be your biggest fans? Tell you that sleeping the Macintosh was the biggest mistake you've ever made and that's saying something? That you should take responsibility for once in your life?"

Sands didn't believe of all the things they could pin on him, this was what he was being blamed for. "So it's my fault Charlie is here, in this mess?"

"If you hadn't started trying to make a game out of everything, do you really think she'd be here? No, but you had to start messing around with the doctor because it was fun for you to break the rules." Trevor said.

"You do realise that I am not some medical predator? I don't live to ruin the careers of doctors." Sands huffed. "Things went sour at times, yeah, but I didn't do this. Also, in case you don't remember, you were the ones who sent me to Mexico and I came back with no eyes but everything you ordered me to do got done. Excuse me for reminding you of that fact from time to time whenever you decide to throw that country in my face. I lost my eyes doing my fucking job which got done, how many of your rule following, halo wearing agents can say that? You fucking abandoned me down there and then when you finally decided to get off your asses and follow through with your jobs, you assigned me a doctor and things got out of hand due to the job I did in Mexico that you people assigned me to. All you bigwigs are so damn quick to blame me over what happened to Macintosh that none of you take a moment to realise the real people to blame are yourselves. It wasn't like you didn't have plenty of notice that your doctor was in trouble. She was robbed, she was assaulted on your premises and when we got taken, we called you, not anyone else, you plenty of times. I warned you over and over again that someone was after me! If you had believed me, maybe Charlie wouldn't have had to run. But she did and with no one to protect her, I took up the job. I committed to saving her instead of my job because I realised what was more important. She was more fucking important than a bunch of suits who were happy to see me die. So, you want me to follow the rules? Be a good agent? Fine. Don't fuck me over and leave me to die somewhere again and don't use the people I actually care about as pawns in your little games."

"Are you done?" Trevor asked.

"Until you piss me off again."

"You are to blame. Nobody tried to seduce Macintosh but you which was as big a factor as any."

Sands' jaw tensed. "No one tried to save her but me."

"Wow, you finally learned that actions have consequences."

"No, I just love her." He said. "Your consequences can go fuck themselves."

Trevor chuckled humourlessly. "You're still saying anything you can to get out of it."

"I'm not lying. I love her." Sands shrugged.

Trevor rolled his eyes and looked at Sands waiting to see the smirk telling him it was a lie but one he couldn't prove but all he saw was Sands looking at him with nothing remotely signalling he was lying. He seemed sincere, something Sands never seemed.

"You're serious?"

"Completely."

"You really love her?"

"Really, really."

Trevor shook his head. "What? You only care about yourself."

"Now it's just me and her."

"That's why you came out here?"

"I hardly did it for my health." Sands shrugged. "Whether you like it or not, me and Mac are together now because believe it or not, she loves me back and there's nothing any of you can do about it. We got together after she got fired from the CIA. No rules are being broken so you guys just have to bite your tongues and deal with it."

"Sands, we don't have to deal with anything we don't want to."

Sands frowned. "Is that a threat?"

"It's a warning. Don't stay so cocky because like it or not, you signed yourself over to us a long time ago and that isn't changing any time soon."

Trevor began to walk out of the room but had one more thing to add.

"Your flight back to the states is at five. Be on it."

"I'm not leaving here without Ch…"

"Be on it." Trevor said in a tone that told Sands not to go against him.

"I haven't been discharged from the hospital yet."

"You've seemed to have a miraculous recovery. Be on the plane or that miracle will be reversed."

He left the room, leaving Sands to dwell on his thoughts.

Sure enough, Sands had been walking around the hospital for an hour, looking for Charlie, when someone found him instead. Some stranger in a suit.

"Agent Sands, your car is here."

"I don't have a car here." Sands said shortly, walking past him.

"Agent Hartford ordered one to take you to the airport where the company jet is waiting."

"That was nice of him but I need to find something before I go anywhere."

"Agent Sands, if you resist, I've been told to shoot you in the leg. Which would you prefer?"

Sands shrugged. "Shoot me."

The man frowned. "Excuse me?"

"Shoot me. I'll stay here in the hospital and it'll give me more time to find her. So go ahead, take out your gun and shoot me."

The man hesitated for a second before Sands saw him take out his phone.

"He won't…He said to do it…I don't know, stupid or crazy…"

"Or dedicated." Sands cut in. "No one ever thinks it's just dedicated…"

The man ignored him. "Are you sure?...I could just shoot him in the leg…But I want…Fine." He huffed and hung up the phone. He looked at Sands. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You wanted to see her; I'm taking you to see her."

They walked to her room and Sands got a big shock.

"Where is she?"

Both he and the man in the suit were looking into an empty room.

"I don't know." The man frowned. "This is where she's been."

"Maybe she took a walk."

"She hasn't woken up yet."

Sands frowned. "She hasn't?"

"No." He said. "On top of the gunshot wound, she got a head injury in that factory…"

Sands thought back. "When the first bomb went off. She was unconscious, but she was only out for a few seconds…"

"Well, it was more serious than you both thought. She's in a coma, confined to that bed. Well, she was…"

"No one moved her?"

"No. Everyone's been waiting for her to wake up, to see how severe the damage will be. If she does wake up."

"Wait," Sands said, not wanting to believe what he was hearing. "Are you saying she could have brain damage?"

"It's a possibility. A full recovery is another one. No one knows. No one will if we can't find her."

Sands turned and started walking back to his room quickly.

"Where are you going?" He heard behind him but he didn't answer. He was going to his room, getting his stuff and getting out of here. If Charlie wasn't in this hospital, he didn't want to waste time in it either. If someone took her, Sands was going to find out whom.

He opened the door to his room and froze when he saw Charlie sitting on his bed, waiting for him.

"I woke up this morning." She confessed. "And I'm fine. I just pretended to still be out whenever anyone came in. It was going to take me a while to be able to get up and find you and I didn't want anyone getting in my way by knowing I was awake."

Sands walked over quickly and took her into his arms. He'd only thought she was in a coma for a few minutes and it still seemed too long. Knowing she was okay was the greatest relief.

"I've been looking all over for you, sugar." He admitted. "Never figured you'd be hiding out here."

"I thought you might be." She pulled away from the embrace. "How are you?"

"Few broken ribs, some stitches, I'll survive." He looked her over. "You need to stop nearly dying on me."

"Believe me, it's not a picnic for me either. I don't even know how long I've been out, all I know is that Trevor's here. I heard him come into my room a while ago."

Sands nodded. "They came here after you were shot."

Charlie frowned. "What? That long? Why didn't they find us? Try to help?"

Sands looked to the door before walking over and closing it. He went back to her. "Sugar, this doesn't look good. They wouldn't let me come see you until a few minutes ago and even then, they thought you were unconscious. They're not happy."

"Well, they have to suck it up. I'm not with the CIA anymore."

"I don't think they care. They're playing their own game now. Even Trevor's in on it. He's not exactly what you'd call happy with me."

Charlie sighed. "Well we knew this was coming. They were never going to be happy. Did they fire you?"

"Not yet."

"Sands, if they came here, I don't think they will. That's a good sign."

"They might not fire me but they might try to stop us…"

"We won't let them. They can't control my decisions anymore."

"They can try."

"Only if they offer me my job back and if they do, I won't take it."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"I won't. I can find another hospital, another job but I am not letting them dictate us. I will turn them down and find another job. In Virginia."

That surprised Sands. "You'll move back? Give up that other job?"

Charlie nodded. "Nothing is more important to me now than us. You saved my life in that factory and you more than proved you love me."

"Does this mean I finally get your trust?"

Charlie smiled a little. "You've become the only person who does."

Sands smirked and pressed his lips against hers, relishing in the fact that he could do it again and do it a lot more in the future.

The kiss broke when the door burst open and Trevor walked in. The two looked at him, seeing him not at all happy. He indicated to someone outside the door and another man in a suit walked in. Sands wondered exactly how many nameless and unnoticeable men Trevor actually had rooted in this hospital and even city.

"Take Doctor Macintosh back to her room." Trevor ordered.

Sands tightened his hold on her slightly as he felt her tense in arms.

"I'm a grown woman; I can go to my room by myself." Charlie said. "When I decide to."

"Don't make this difficult." Trevor sighed.

"Threats aren't your forte, Trev." Sands replied. "You should probably stop making them."

"I may not be good at making threats but these guys are more than capable of understanding what I said and carrying them out." Trevor shrugged before looking at Charlie. "Like I said, escort Doctor Macintosh back to her room."

Charlie didn't want to instil a fight that Sands would participate in so she left his arms and walked out of the room, her minder following her. Trevor was about to walk out too but Sands had a request.

"I want to see him."

Trevor turned back to Sands. "What?"

"I want to see his body. You know who."

"Why would you want that?"

"Because everyone just thought she went missing and my mind immediately went to him. I just want to be sure, have some closure. I think I'm owed that much."

"You're not owed anything."

"I killed a potential threat to the agency. Peterson knew a lot more than anyone thought he did. You might not have liked the process but you can't fault the outcome. I want to see his body."

Trevor huffed. "You're not seeing it."

"Why not?"

"Because I said so."

Sands looked a Trevor suspiciously. "What are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding anything; I'm just not giving you what you want."

Sands realised. "There's no body, is there?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means he wasn't dead. He got away, didn't he?"

Trevor didn't answer.

"Oh my God, he's still alive!" Sands said angrily. "When were you planning on telling us that? When he kidnapped her again?"

"People are out looking for him. He can't have got far, especially when you shot him. He wouldn't have lasted long."

"Long enough. If you haven't found him by now, that means he's still alive and in hiding! Jesus…"

"Sands, we will find him."

"I don't trust your abilities anymore, believe it or not. You left us to die, you still don't know who he was working with and you aren't anywhere near close to finding it out." Sands began to walk out of the room.

"Where do you think you're going?" Trevor asked.

"To tell Charlie that her psycho ex is still alive."

"You're not going anywhere and you're not telling her anything."

Sands frowned. "You're not going to tell her? At all? You have to!"

"No, I don't."

"If she doesn't know, she can't be prepared for what he might do in the future."

"He won't do anything because we will find him and she is not going to know…"

"How incompetent you've been? Yeah, wouldn't want her knowing that."

"Sands, you are treading on very thin ice."

"He tried to blow her up! He tried to get me to mutilate her face just so I wouldn't be able to look at her anymore! He stabbed me and nearly blew all three of us to pieces and you want to keep her in the dark about that psycho still being on the loose?"

"It's in her best interests. Telling her he's still out there will only make her worry."

"Why do you care about that? You just don't want her to know because she'll lose even more trust in you and you can't have that happening if you want her onside and away from me."

"Not everything's about you, Sands."

"Tell her."

"No."

Sands looked at Trevor angrily.

"I have a job to do, Sands. I'm not risking it for you."

"You would risk it for her though." Sands said. "Just not when I'm included."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean about how you came onto her. She told me, Trev. Not that it wasn't completely obvious anyway what with you always sniffing around her. You very clearly didn't want me getting what you never could, especially when you got so close but never quite made it. You never gave up though but now with me in the picture, you're realising you have to."

Trevor looked like he was about to hit him. Instead, he stormed out of the room. Sands sighed and sat on the bed, knowing he'd just said the wrong thing and screwed up the only ally he could possibly had if this entire thing got even uglier.

* * *

"Talk."

"Why should I?"

"Because anything Barry said to you might have inadvertently gave away some detail about who he was working with."

"If the CIA can't figure it out, I won't be much help."

Trevor sighed. "Charlie…"

"I'd probably be a lot chattier if you weren't dictating what company I keep." She said, looking over at the suit who'd traced her every move and every breath.

"It's a precaution."

"In case of what? Sands and I might run off? I'm not really up for running, in case you haven't noticed. Anyway, you guys knew where we were, it was you who stayed away from us. Believe me, I would have been quite happy if the CIA came along and took our side in this situation. You didn't so why should I trust you to care about my best interests now?"

"What did Barry say?" Trevor asked through gritted teeth.

"Bring Sands here and I'll tell you." She replied back, just as icily. "He's done all the work so far, he deserves to know what went on and anyway, he figured out Barry was behind it so he'd probably be useful."

"Sands isn't an option."

"Then neither are my answers."

"Charlie!"

"You can shout at me all you want; it's not going to achieve anything!" She said, sitting up quickly. "I don't care if you- Ah!" She grabbed her abdomen.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Too much stress." She replied. "I'm kinda tense lately and it's not doing me any favours."

"Just answer my questions and I'll leave you alone."

"Just let me see Sands and I'll answer your questions."

"You're seriously sacrificing everything you've worked to gain for him? He's always treated you like shit."

"Not always. I know what I'm doing and I'm not going to let you persuade me to do otherwise. Bring Sands in here and I'll talk. He might have some information too, after all. Both of us together is better than us separate whether you choose to believe that or not."

Trevor huffed and turned to the suit. "Get him." He looked at Charlie. "Ten minutes. You both answer my questions and then…"

"You leave and give us some privacy."

"You're not making up the rules here."

"Funny, I would have thought considering I have what you need."

"And what's that?"

"Information. Barry said some very interesting things and pool it together with what I know from experience and what Sands found out, it could lead you to finding the rat in your agency. Without it though, you're on your own and if you haven't found the rogue agent by now, it won't get easier with Barry not around to torture and get information out of. You need us."

Charlie smirked at him and both stayed silent until Sands came into the room.

"Well, isn't this cosy and altogether suspicious." Sands said as he sat in the chair by Charlie's bed.

"If I have to put you two together to answer my questions, I'll do it." Trevor said. "Now, what did Barry say in the factory?"

Sands shrugged. "A lot of things."

"About his partner." Trevor was speaking through gritted teeth.

"It's a man." Charlie replied. "They'd stopped working together by the time Barry came here. I don't think his partner knew he would come here."

"He didn't. Benny made that clear when I was trying to goad him." Sands continued. "He said he didn't need his…What were the words? "Fucking permission" to do things. I guess they parted ways on bad terms."

Charlie considered that. "But…Barry told me he could still use that contact, that he had "special consideration". He also said this person owed Barry a very big favour."

Trevor frowned. "Why would anyone in the CIA owe a civilian a favour?"

"Technically, she's a civilian." Sand said, gesturing to Charlie. "And after this, you'll owe her a big favour."

"Is that relevant to anything that happened in the factory?" Trevor asked.

"No."

"Then I don't want to hear it. Now, did Peterson say why this person owed him a favour?"

"No." Charlie shook her head. "But the way he was talking about him seemed personal."

"Yeah," Sands agreed. "He sounded like this wasn't just some professional partnership."

"He said that when his partner couldn't get the job done, which was bring me back to him, he took matters into his own hands. No one ever tried to get me back with Barry though. Also, when I got shot, Barry said it was meant for you." She told Sands. "That he hired a gunman to shoot you, not me."

"His aim was off." Trevor shrugged.

"No." Sands disagreed. "A professional gunman doesn't miss by that much. He fired one shot and ran. If he was aiming for me and got her, he'd try again to hit me too. Anyway, me and her weren't standing that close to each other the first time round." Sands remembered. "I was hailing a cab and she was a few feet away from me. She was definitely the target. She always has been. Someone's been after her for a while."

Charlie nodded. "Drugging me with ketamine in Malibu being the most obvious. Barry didn't know that though. He seemed to really hate the fact that I got shot too." Charlie said. "He felt guilty about it, which almost makes me think he didn't realise I was hurt until after he came to Turkey. He probably just heard that Sands was still alive."

"So whoever he was working with, he was trying to kill Charlie while Billy was trying to kill me."

"He's dead, Sands, you can probably call him by his actual name now." Charlie suggested, missing the quick glance Sands and Trevor threw each other.

"So they hire the gunman together and list you as the target," Trevor said, pointing at Sands. "And then the partner calls behind Peterson's back and tells this gunman to kill you instead." He pointed at Charlie.

"Seems so." Sands nodded. "It's the same person who deleted our messages from Mexico and hired Hobbs." He perked up when he remembered something. "I'll be right back."

He got up and hurried out of the room.

"I have to say, I thought you were stronger."

Charlie looked at Trevor angrily. "You wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't I? It's just that when you first got Sands as a patient, you told me there was no way you'd let him get to you and lo and behold…"

"Alright, you got me. I failed at something I said I'd do. When I joined the CIA, I was told I would have the highest security in the world, that didn't turn out to be true either. We're all liars."

"He's the biggest one yet you trust him."

"We're all pretty big liars, just because we lie to each other doesn't make one of us bigger than the others. You lie to your wife every day, I lie to my family, I used to lie to the man I spent ten years of my life with, how does the fact that Sands lies to the people around him make him a bigger liar than us? At least he doesn't care about the people he lies to."

"You really love him, don't you?"

"I really do."

Trevor huffed. "And you had so much potential."

"Oh, well at least that means you won't hire me back." Charlie smirked. "No job, no rule breaking."

"Wow, I never thought I'd hear you choosing a guy over your job."

"Not my job, just my job with the CIA."

"That's the only job you have."

"I'm sure I can find one somewhere else."

"Don't be."

Charlie frowned at Trevor's apparent threat but didn't have time to reply as Sands came back into the room.

"Where did you go?" Trevor asked. "It better have been important, the way you ran out of here."

"Believe me, it was."

"Well, what?"

"Bathroom." Sands replied.

Trevor rolled his eyes. "Can we please get back on track?"

"What more is there to say?" Sands shrugged. "We told you everything."

"That was it?"

Both Sands and Charlie nodded.

Trevor huffed and left the room but not before turning to Sands. "Get on that flight."

When he was gone, Charlie frowned at Sands. "Flight?"

"Yeah, he booked me a flight back to America but there's not a cat in hell's chance I'm leaving here when you're still here and in hospital."

Charlie considered it. "I think you should go."

"What?" Sands frowned.

"Look, if we keep trying to go against the CIA, they'll go against us. If we prove that we can work with them while being together, they might realise this isn't so bad. I know you like to go against whatever anyone tells you to do but maybe just swallowing your pride once or twice and letting them win is what we need to do."

Sands huffed. "But then they'll get all smug."

"It's either that or have them against us. I mean, look at right now. We helped Trevor in his investigation and he actually left us alone together." Charlie said.

"We're not teenagers."

"I know but it's better than him ordering us to and from rooms with security tailing us. We have some privacy."

"Don't get used to it." Sands got up and closed the door quickly. "If he's been keeping us apart so far, that's not good."

"Why did you really run out of here a while ago?" Charlie asked.

"Because I remembered when I shot your shooter, I took something with me."

"An organ?"

"His phone." Sands looked at her tiredly. "I was going to bring it for him to trace but I looked through it before I got back and realised I wasn't entirely sure of handing it over." He said, sitting on the bed.

Charlie frowned. "Why not?"

"Because of these."

Sands handed her the phone and she saw a picture on the screen of her and Sands in the restaurant.

"No doubt he sent these to ex-lover boy and that's why he hopped a plane on over here asap." Sands explained.

Charlie looked through the pictures and realised why Sands didn't want Trevor to see them. There were pictures of them kissing, of Sands kissing her shoulder and her neck, his hand on her thigh under the table, it wouldn't have helped their situation any bit if these pictures got out.

"What are we going to do?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know but we'll figure something out, sugar." He said, moving up so he could lie next to her and wrap his arms around her. He felt her hug into him.

"Was all that true? What you said?"

Sands frowned down at her. "What did I say?"

"About how you hate living with the fact that I was with him first, that it kills you to think about how I slept with him and you can't stand that he knew me first."

"Some of it. Really, I was just trying to make him smug enough to leave his defences down."

"You're wrong, you know."

Sands frowned. "About what?"

"About how I chose. I didn't choose him first. When I had the choice, I chose you and I'll never regret that. He may have been the first person I was with but you'll be the last."

Sands smirked and held her tighter. She shifted slightly so they were level and he kissed her, not as passionately as before but just as affectionate. He had a feeling this wouldn't be able to happen for very much longer if the CIA had anything to do with it.

_They'll always have something to do with it._

"I'll go." Sands said. "Back to America. I'll get on the plane."

"Really?"

"I don't have a choice."

* * *

Sands was on the jet later that night, trying to think of a way to get back to Turkey as quickly as possible. He looked across at the man in the suit who had been the one to bring him to Charlie's room. He seemed to be Sands' carer to make sure he didn't go anywhere he wasn't supposed to. Now he was just reading a magazine.

"Hey, you."

The man didn't look up. "What is it, Agent Sands?"

"Am I even still an agent?"

"From what I've heard, yes. If that circumstance changes, which is debatable at the moment, I'll be the first to…"

"Shoot me?"

"Let you know."

"By shooting me?"

"If ordered."

"Yippee." Sands said sarcastically. He got up.

"Where are you going?" The man asked.

"Bathroom." Sands rolled his eyes. Where was he going to escape to in the big, metal, flying contraption that was sealed shut? He walked inside and shut the door before taking out Charlie's shooter's phone. "Let's see what you got for me…"

He scoured through the phone, trying to find any evidence of who the CIA partner was but obviously, steps had been taken to ensure there was no obvious trace. He was just about to give up when he realised that though a name could be protected, a voice was much harder to conceal. He quickly tried the phone's voicemail.

He listened to the many messages, most from Barry before and after the shooting but then he came across exactly who he was looking for and the message left was very, very interesting.

_If I don't kill him, the CIA are definitely going to do it for me._

* * *

Three days later, Crowley unlocked his office door and walked in to find that this morning had left him a little surprise. Under his foot was a sealed, large brown envelope addressed to him. There was no return address and from the block letters used by whoever had sent it, they didn't want him to know who sent it even by testing the handwriting. He walked over to his table and sat down, opening the envelope, pulling out the papers and file inside. He looked over the information and tried to process it, not succeeding the first few times. After running his own search to figure out if he could trust the information, he realised he could.

"Well…Shit."

* * *

Robert Armisen returned to his apartment late into the night. He usually came home late because of work so when he turned on the lights, he was shocked to see a shabby looking man in the middle of his apartment, interrupted in his robbery of the place. Without hesitation, Armisen pulled out his gun only to find the intruder doing the same. Armisen shot the man and he fell backwards onto the ground dead.

Not long after, Armisen found his apartment filled with police and crime scene investigators as the body was taken out. Due to his profession, crime scene cleaners were on the sight quickly. People in protective body gear with masks covering their faces wandered through the apartment as police took statements. Considering Armisen's profession, this case would not be taken any further and he was glad when things were cleared up and taken out of his apartment. He frowned when he returned to his bedroom and found one last member of the cleaners finishing up.

"What are you doing in here? The mess was out there. And gone. I thought all you guys left."

"They did."

Armisen's eyes widened when the man pulled off the mask and pulled down the hood and Armisen saw it wasn't one of the cleaners but Sands.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Finishing the job. It'd be annoying if I put all this work in and then didn't do what I came for. You would be surprised how little it costs to bribe someone to break into somewhere. It'd probably cost a little extra if they knew they were going to get shot but hey, you just got to know where to look for the right service."

"Wait, you set that guy up to rob me?"

"Told him you were out of town. I bet he was as surprised as you were. But not as trigger happy." Sands smirked.

"Why did you do all this? Because I fired your girlfriend?"

"No, because you tried to kill her." Sands said.

Armisen seemed to hesitate but only for a second.

"Me as well." Sands continued. "You see, I did a little digging on you Armisen. At first it was so frustrating that I couldn't find anything shady about you. When I couldn't find anything to use against you in your professional life, I figured you weren't behind this; someone else was working with Barry. When everything went down in Turkey, I tried to get some stuff out of Barry and I did. I figured out he was working with a man in the CIA. You know what else I figured out? Before Barry shot me, we were both struggling to get his gun. Now, if it had been just some normal fuckmook with a gun, well…I've been trained to fight by the CIA. I know how to disarm someone. The funny thing was, so did Barry. He knew exactly the same moves that I did. He was really good too. He managed to shoot me. My question is how did someone who didn't get into the CIA know fighting styles taught by the CIA? Well, whoever he was working with must have trained him. That means they must have known each other for a lot longer than Charlie or I thought." Sands looked at him. "Then, something else Barry said struck a chord with me."

"What?" Armisen asked.

"He said he has special consideration. Now, why would someone, you, give Barry special consideration? What made him so special? Another thing he said was 'I don't need his fucking permission'. I didn't really think anything of it at first but it's a weird thing to say about two grown men, isn't it? He didn't need permission? Wouldn't help be more fitting? Or he didn't need your advice. Permission is such a specific word. Who gives permission to an adult? Only one person I can think of." Sands shrugged. "I kept thinking of who was helping Barry as an agent which is why, as an agent, you didn't seem the right person. It's because you were the perfect agent. But that's the thing. You are the perfect agent. I just dug and dug through files on you and I couldn't find a thing. Then Charlie got shot and of course, I killed her shooter but I also took his phone, his phone that had a voicemail on it telling the guy to shoot Charlie, not me and to delete the message of course. He didn't though. He kept that message. From you. So you were the one giving Barry special consideration, you were the one whose permission he had once needed, you were the one who trained him in fighting. But why?"

Sands smirked. "So I started looking at your personal life instead of your professional life. You are a perfect agent but a perfect father?" Sands shook his head, sarcastically sympathetic. "No awards for you. Married a nice young girl straight out of high school, had a few kids but the stress of the job just got too much for your little wifey and she canned your ass. Took the kids and moved 'em away from you and your dangerous lifestyle. All the way out to Malibu." Sands smirked. "To keep the kiddies safe from your past enemies, mommy had everyone change their last names to her maiden name. But not too long after, you went there too. To beg them back? Of course not. For work again. You see, I made a few connections. Eleven years ago, you were on a case that involved a Scandinavian investor into American companies named Isaac Holgersen. Holgersen was thought to be embezzling money from these American companies into Scandinavia where Holgersen was also a pretty big crime boss. His actions that harmed the biggest American companies would surely hurt our economy in pretty big ways. You went undercover as an investor to catch him. One of Holgersen's American partners was Steven Macintosh so to get to Holgersen; you decided to go through Macintosh to get your entry into the country with Holgersen by your side. Am I right so far?"

Armisen stayed silent.

"Now, throughout your visit to Malibu, you decided to catch up with your kids, probably why you requested the case in the first place, but what you weren't counting on your son getting too close to the case for comfort and not leaving that circumstance for ten whole years." Sands smirked. "How'd it happen, Armisen? How did little Armisen get involved?"

Armisen huffed. "Barry came by my hotel room one day and found my files on the case. He's always wanted to be a CIA agent so he got himself involved."

"It completely blew the case because now, your son was dating Macintosh's daughter as a way to get information for his dear old dad that Charlie might not have even knew she had. Or she could get if coaxed enough to."

"I had to coach him not to ever tell her."

"So all these years, he knew she was in the CIA while she never even knew his real last name."

"My son is smarter than you think." Armisen smirked.

"Only until he let too much slip. Except his real last name. She never knew that since he always went by his mother's maiden name after the move to Malibu. And that's why Charlie never connected the fact that she had been dating your son for ten years. Until she wasn't. What?" Sands asked. "Little boy can't get over his break up so he need daddy dearest to come in and get rid of any competition?"

"So you two did have an affair?"

"Well you've already fired her and I'm not too worried about you blabbing seeing as everyone already knows so yeah."

"You think you have it all figured out, don't you?" Armisen smirked but by his eyes, Sands could see he was furious.

"Tell me I'm wrong." Sands shrugged.

"You got nearly everything right."

"Nearly everything?"

"The motive for killing you. That was wrong."

"Then why?"

"Hey, I wanted to leave you in Mexico to die a blind nobody. It was that damn Hartford that had to get you back. I've wanted to get rid of you for years, Sands and the more obsessed with Macintosh you got, the more reason you gave me. I couldn't risk you researching your competition and figuring out Barry was my son. Ever since my case with Macintosh and the CIA discovered he had a genius as a daughter and she was going to be one of the best doctors in the country, they've kept an eye on her, knowing she'd be useful. I asked to be put in charge of her…"

"So you could research her contacts." Sands suspected.

"And it gave me plenty of time to build up a fake file for a Barry Peterson. To the CIA and officially, Barry is Barry Armisen but he just goes by Peterson informally. Even if the CIA found that out, I mean, people have the same names all the time and really, no one considered keeping track of my family after I divorced my wife so it was easy to keep things quiet. I've never opened my mouth about her and Barry and if the CIA found out now, I'd lose my job for letting Barry get with her and for never mentioning that a doctor for the CIA was dating my son."

"And as has been made clear, your job is your life."

"Not just that, if they knew Barry knew about everything, they'd find him and try to find out what else he knew. The life of an agent needs to be lonely for a reason, Sands. Your family can't know, your friends can't know, no one can know. If they learned that Barry knew about me and Charlie, I'd get fired and probably murdered because I know too much and Barry would be right along with me. So the minute you started sticking your nose into other people's business, I had to act."

"To kill me?"

"You're terrible for interrupting. I found Lupe in Mexico and let her know exactly who murdered her daughter, let her know what to do. I should have known she'd be useless. I organised Charlie's robbery to get her I.D. badge and I let Lupe's henchmen up here into the building to find Charlie. She had to be so damn stubborn about the surgery and you two were getting closer with you always going to her office and then you started going to her apartment!"

"So you decided to take both of us?"

"Not exactly. Not then. I let Lupe know who murdered her daughter and I let her know there was someone, a doctor, trying to help him overcome what Ajedrez had done so his life would go back to being perfect. Lupe was not at all pleased."

"And then Charlie was on her list too."

"I realised that you two would have to be killed so I told Lupe's henchmen the best way for Lupe to get revenge would be to do it herself. Get you both down to Mexico. At least if she didn't kill you, someone would. You're hated down there. You see, I'm not worried about killing you, Sands. I figured you're such a dick; you're going to take care of yourself. Someone is going to put a bullet in your head one of these days. Hell, you've already been shot everywhere else."

Sands nodded. "It seemed like everyone was after me. Getting Lupe involved, deleting the messages, getting me shot in an alley…"

"I never organised the shooting so I had no clue about that. Lupe and the messages, that was me. And Hobbs, that was me too but only because you just became too much of a nuisance, always getting in the way, always protecting."

"But I wasn't your target."

"At first, you were. With Lupe and her goons robbing Charlie and breaking into the CIA, that was mainly for your benefit just so she would get too scared to give you your eyes. Can't be an agent if you can't see. Only after she broke up with him did my attention turn to killing Charlie and seeing as I already had Lupe on hand, I decided to kick things up a notch."

"Because now there was more risk of getting found out with them apart."

"When she broke up with my son, she really did a number on him. He started getting a bit obsessed with her and getting careless. She's a smart girl, she would have figured it out sooner or later when he let too much information slip. Then she would have told her precious Hartford and my ass would have been canned and both me and Barry would have been killed but if she died first, well Barry would grieve but he'd shut his mouth. I'm actually quite lucky you started associating yourself with her; it made it much easier to murder her and make it look your fault. And, with you always around her, you were a pleasant bonus thrown in and that got you out of my hair too."

"Charlie was your target and I was just thrown in. That's why she was involved in the kidnapping to Mexico."

"She was meant to be killed in that damn robbery but Barry had to call her and take her out. I had warned that if she wasn't alone, just rob her. I didn't want to risk Barry's life and the way I saw it, those two thugs in the CIA building could finish the job."

"But the alarms went off?"

"Someone must have spotted them. Lupe had her own vendetta against you so I tried not to worry too much about you, especially when she let me know someone had been sent to shoot you. Which they succeeded in. But then you went to her place. I realised I wasn't going to be able to kill one without the other so I told her henchmen to take you both to Mexico, told them it'd be better for Lupe if you knew what it felt like to lose someone you cared about."

"You thought I cared about her?"

"I don't know and I didn't give a fuck but they bought it and Charlie was included. I figured she'd die down there with only a blind guy to help her but Lupe had to turn chicken shit. Couldn't murder someone, let alone someone who hadn't even known Ajedrez. So you two wound back up here and although she seemed to hate you now, you weren't staying away from her. You were also onto me, you knew someone was trying to kill you so before you got your eyes back, I knew I had to kill you because you were already suspicious. I couldn't risk you being suspicious when you were on top form. I intercepted any messages you two left Trevor and deleted them before he could hear them since he was out in the field looking for you two and I stayed at the office. I thought I was going to kill you two myself when I heard you got back into the country. Then it turned out Macintosh's wrist was fucked up and I figured that was bye bye surgery. She wouldn't be able to help you see, you wouldn't be back at the top of your game and be able to protect her and I could try again. But when you admitted to killing Lupe, I realised you were already doing a good enough job, eyes or no eyes, at keeping her safe so I had to put an end to that. An end to you."

"So you got Hobbs."

"I did some research into Hobbs. Great doctor but a complete asshole. Sexual harassment lawsuits and debts that make you look like a saint. All I had to do was offer to pay him off. He was desperate enough to go for it but then that bitch got in the way again. When she went and did the surgery, I fired her. Tried to get her away from you altogether. If she blamed you for her losing her job, she'd stay away from you. Before I could inject your morphine or something, you fled the hospital."

"So you just gave up?"

"No. You did. You just let her go. With you out of the picture, I could focus all my energy on getting rid of her. You even gave me the perfect excuse. Someone from your past had been planning revenge, saw you close to her and decided she was the revenge. It would take a little organising but I was sure I could manage it. When she went back to Malibu, I could just have someone do it there. Like…"

"Overdose her drink?"

"I don't know how the bitch keeps surviving."

"I do." Sands said.

"You." Armisen glared. "You're fucking always around her. I knew I should have tried getting rid of you anyway. I didn't think you'd actually stalk her out to there. Once I realised, I was just going to have you sent on a mission as soon as possible and have you killed over there. Only you skipped out on the mission and fled the country to find her. Well, I decided to turn a bad situation into a good one. Barry came running to me, of course, telling me that she had an affair with you and you needed to be out of the picture and when she went missing and then you went missing, he started getting ideas. I didn't want him getting found out and killed so I said I'd help him try and find her."

"But you really wanted to kill her."

"Exactly. Barry genuinely thought that if he went missing, she'd come back. When she didn't, he was furious. He wanted you dead, not just out of her life but in the ground. He wanted to hire a hit man so I hired a hit man."

"Then told him to shoot Charlie behind Barry's back."

"Barry still thought he was calling the shots but I needed her dead and my son to move on. Then we heard on the news that an American woman had been shot in Turkey, right where you were staying. The bad news came when they said she was in hospital and her condition was unknown. It was a Godsend for Barry but a pain in my ass. The next thing I know, he's fled the fucking country. I tried to get in touch with him but nothing. Now you're here with all the answers."

"Yeah, there's one thing I haven't figured out though." Sands said. "Why didn't you ever make him break up with her? Why choose to keep this secret for so long?"

"Have you seen the girl's bank account? My son would be set for several lives if they got married. Hell, my great, great, great, great grandchildren would be still be set for life. Do you actually know how much money her grandfather left her?" Armisen didn't wait for an answer. "Of course you do. Why else would you be worming your way in there?"

"The money doesn't matter to me." Sands shrugged.

Armisen laughed. "Of course it doesn't. You want her for just her. Good one."

"Laugh all you want. It's true. Not that your son believed it either but hey, I shut him up."

Armisen looked at him, all laughter gone. "My son is alive."

"Yeah, but now the entire CIA is after him and let me tell you, they're good at finding people. And stopping them. And killing them. Slowly."

"If you've come here to find out where he is, I don't know and I wouldn't tell you if I did."

"Oh no, I don't need your help to find him. I'll manage that fine on my own. No, what I came here for was revenge. You see, my girlfriend is lying in a hospital bed because when your son set off one of his neat little explosives, she hit her head and later went unconscious and took her time to wake up. Add that to the bullet wound she has and safe to say, I'm pretty pissed."

"Yeah, your heartbreak was made clear when you left the country she was hospitalised in."

"Not my decision. Believe me; I'm on my way back. I just have to take care of some business before I do."

"Let me guess, you're going to tell everyone my big, bad deeds."

"Pretty much."

"I've been protecting these secrets for years, Sands. No one will believe you."

"Yeah, I may have left all the information I found on Crowley's desk so once he investigates, we'll see if you can be so confident. Sorry about that." Sands said chirpily.

Armisen's eyes widened. "You son of a bitch."

"What can I say? Between you and her, you're just not that pretty."

"What now? You're going to kill me?" Armisen smirked. "You think getting rid of me is going to save her?"

"Well, yeah."

"Oh, Sands. I was just doing my job."

Sands frowned. "What?"

"Don't you get it? The CIA will always have the upper hand. If you think you can trick them, you're wrong, if you think you can outsmart them, you're wrong and if you think you can break their rules that badly without consequences, you're wrong. You kill me and someone else is going to take my place. Your little whore is going to die, no matter who does it." Armisen said. "And as for killing me? You forget Sands, I'm your boss. I'm higher up on the food chain than you. You'll be strung up by your thumbs if you even attempt to hurt me. There's not a fucking chance anyone is going to let you kill…"

Sands jumped back when Armisen was cut off by a bullet going through his head and the man fell to the floor, dead. Sands quickly turned to see a sniper gun being retracted from the window of a dark room that belongs to the building across the street. Sands knew it was CIA but didn't know how…

_Unless I wasn't the only one planning something for Armisen. Or here in disguise today._

Sands looked around the room for a bug or a camera and realised it would be well hidden but definitely there. No doubt the bosses heard his and Armisen's entire exchange and gave the sniper the go signal when all the information ran out. That didn't bode well for Armisen.

And it didn't bode well for Sands.

_They're beginning to take rule breaking a lot more seriously._

_And they'll always know more than you ever want them to._

* * *

Charlie couldn't understand why she was still in the hospital. Sands had been back in America for days and she still couldn't leave this building.

Well, she thought Sands was in America. She had a feeling she was wrong when he walked into her hospital room.

"What are you doing here? I thought you went back to America."

"I did. Now I'm back."

"Sands…"

"No, Charlie, you don't understand. They killed Armisen."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

"He was Barry's partner."

"Armisen? The biggest stickler for rules ever?"

"That's not all. He…"

Charlie didn't understand his hesitation. "What?"

"He was Barry's father." Sands admitted.

Charlie didn't react for a second. "That's impossible."

"No, I'm telling the truth. You never met his father, did you?"

"No, but…Barry always told me he was a deadbeat who left him and his mom and brothers before they moved from Delaware."

"Not true. Barry lived in Virginia before and he and his pop had quite a good relationship behind your back."

"Oh my God…This is insane." Charlie put her head in her hands.

"Was."

Charlie frowned at him. "Did Armisen stop being his father?"

"No, he's just dead."

Her eyes widened. "You killed him? What If the CIA find out?"

"Hey sugar, I wish. They're the ones that killed him, I just provided the aim. Unintentionally but…"

"Wait, the CIA killed him?"

Sands nodded. "I guess they don't take kindly to rule breakers after all."

He saw Charlie look more troubled than relieved over someone who tried to kill her being killed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"While you were gone, I had another conversation with Trevor."

"About what?"

"He offered me my job back."

Sands sighed. "I had a feeling he would."

"Promotion, raise, bigger office…"

"What did you say?" Sands asked.

"I told them I'd think about it…"

"What?" Sands said angrily. "What happened to saying no and finding another job? Not letting them dictate you?"

"Sands, I am going to turn it down." Charlie replied. "I just figured it was better to make them think I wasn't just basing my decision around us and actually giving them a thought. If I say no straight away then they'll know it's because of our relationship but if I let them think I'm thinking about it then they'll think that I turned it down because I actually thought about it. I'll just say that considering someone there tried to kill me, I would rather not go back to working there."

Sands nodded but didn't seem too happy.

"What's wrong?" Charlie asked.

"It's just…You're giving up on your job for a guy? Really? You?"

"Not my job, just a job. I'll get a job somewhere else."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I have to be. Look, I spent my entire life focusing on my job and it left my personal life pretty miserable. Now I'd like to be happy in both and that means giving both the same amount of consideration."

"Okay, you're sure?"

"Definitely." Charlie said. "Anyway, if I go back to the CIA, I'll forever be the doctor that screwed a patient and you just know how much the more asshole-y agents will love that."

Sands had to agree with that one. "You're right. They would make your life hell. You don't give guys a gun, an air of mystery and a sense of overconfidence without a few consequences from some of them."

"Hence my decision to not go back to the CIA."

Sands sighed. "Well, if they're waiting for your answer, no doubt they'll be back in regular intervals. I better make myself scarce."

"Wait, you came all the way out here to Turkey to tell me Armisen is dead and now you're going back to America?"

"No, I'll find Trevor eventually and let him know of my reappearance but best let him see me before he thinks I see you. Like you said, try and work with them. I came back to talk to him about Armisen, not you. So if he comes by…"

"I never saw you."

Sands smirked and kissed her. "Thanks, sugar."

He left the room but Charlie wasn't alone for long.

"What are you doing here, Trevor?"

I'm here to find out your answer."

"I've given it a lot of thought," She lied. "And I'm sorry but I'm going to have to decline."

"Decline?"

"And not because of why you're thinking." Charlie said. "Trevor, someone in the CIA tried to kill me and you guys just let it happen. Don't deny it. I'm not working for a company that toys with my life like that."

"It's a good offer." Trevor replied.

That got Charlie angry. "No, it's not! The CIA just tried to kill me! Why the hell would I ever work there again?"

"No, Charlie," Trevor pressed. "It is a very good offer."

"I don't care."

"Charlie…"

Charlie didn't understand what he was getting at but when she realised his expression, she caught on. "I'm not getting a choice, am I?"

"You are but it's not a good one. You can either work with them or against them. You won't last very long if you choose the latter."

"What? That…Trevor, you can't do this!"

"I'm not, I have bosses to answer to too, remember? The CIA goes a lot higher than just me and they've given me my orders so yeah, they can. The way they see it, you're a valuable asset, too valuable to be let out into the world with no reason to keep their information private. If you run, they'll find you so the safest place to be is right under their nose. They were going to leave you alone after Mexico except for the fact that Armisen fired you…"

"Which he only did so they would come after me just like now."

"Exactly. It's the same for Sands. You will be safe and protected if you take the job. If you don't, well, you know yourself."

Charlie had another thought. "What about Sands?"

Trevor nodded. "Nothing ever happened between you two."

"They can't expect…"

"Charlie," He said sternly. "It's over."

"That's not fair!"

"They don't want you two together. It's caused too much trouble already. Sands abandoned his mission and disappeared to protect you. An agent can't do that. If you two try and continue to be together, you'll both get fired and that safety you got with the job will go out the window."

"So my life is being ruled by the CIA from now on?"

"Would you rather not have one?"

Charlie glared at him. "Are you threatening me?"

"No. I'm trying to make you see sense."

"None of this makes sense."

Trevor shrugged. "It doesn't have to. What they say goes."

Charlie felt hopeless. "They can't do this."

"They can and they're going to."

Charlie was lying in bed later that night but couldn't sleep. She was going over and over her conversation with Trevor. Surely this wasn't going to happen, they were just testing her. They had to be.

"Hey, sugar."

Charlie turned when Sands walked into the room, seeming untroubled.

"Have you seen Trevor?" She asked.

"I've seen him, spoken to him, had my fill of him. That guy has just stopped being fun."

"I have a feeling we may have did that to him."

"I would never put that much guilt on myself."

"Did he…Say anything?" She asked as he slid onto the bed, next to her.

"No more than the usual reprimands. Why?"

"I was just wondering." She said. What were the CIA playing at?

"I mean, they pretty much made it clear that we never happened but I've chosen to ignore that part of any conversation." Sands shrugged.

Charlie looked at him quickly. "They did?"

"Yeah, but we were expecting that. It's not going to change anything."

"Except that I work for the CIA again."

Sands frowned down at her. "What? You told me you'd turn it down."

"I tried! They…Wouldn't let me."

"They wouldn't let you?"

"No. Like you said, they don't want us to be together." She said miserably.

"So they're just forcing you to work there?"

"Pretty much." Charlie sighed, feeling Sands wrap his arms around her. "This is insane. They shouldn't be allowed do this."

"They're pretty powerful. They can do whatever they want."

Charlie looked up at Sands to see him not looking too happy. "How can they expect us to work together without wanting to be together?"

"I don't think they care about what we want." Sands said. "Just what we do and as long as we have nothing to do with each other, that suits them. Well, if they think I'm playing that game, they're fucking crazy."

Charlie frowned. "What?"

Sands looked down at her. "Charlie, did you agree?"

"Well, no but…They didn't give me a choice. They basically told me that if I didn't work for them and we stayed together, they'd kill the both of us."

"What?" Sands seemed to be completely outraged by this.

"Trevor didn't tell you any of this?"

"Trevor didn't come to see me! We talked for a while but after that, some suit I'd never seen before dropped by my hotel room, telling me that my current "mission" was complete and to stay alert for my next one but I mean, that's what the CIA always does. Things started to get a little suspicious when he told me that the CIA was willing to overlook my "temporary lapse in judgement with Doctor Macintosh"…"

"Which was basically telling you that anything we had was over."

"Right but I didn't hear anything about you coming back to work or being murdered."

Charlie realised. She had already gotten it wrong. Sands was never supposed to know about the threat involved, she was supposed to break up with him the same way he had done it to her months ago. Make him think she didn't want him so he would resent her when really she was protecting his life. She guessed that if they told Sands about what was really going on, they would get an indignant agent which was never good. Had she just risked both of their lives already?

"We can't be together." She said, hoping Sands wouldn't hate her for it.

"This entire thing is even more fucked up than I thought. Well, they can't control us. We'll just…"

"Sands…" Charlie said sadly.

Sands saw her expression and stopped. "They can't do this."

"That's what I said but apparently they can and they are."

"So, we're not together anymore?"

"If we play their game right, we were never together at all."

Sands didn't reply. He was too angry and he didn't want to end up shouting at her.

Charlie saw his jaw tensed. "I love you."

"Yeah, and for how much longer are you allowed to?"

She frowned. "I'm going to keep loving you; they're not going to be able to take that away from me."

He looked down at her for a second, considering how everything had gone to hell so quickly. His life was about to get so much harder because of what he did and he couldn't regret it. He would have done it all over again if he'd been given another chance.

"I love you too, sugar and if the CIA thinks they can say the word and I'll give you up, they got another thing coming."

"What can we do?"

"Run?"

"I think you know more than I do why that couldn't work."

Sands knew she was right. It'd never work. He could dream though.

"We could keep it secret? Be together and they'd never know."

"Until they found out and kill us."

"That's why we don't let them find out."

"Sands, you know they're going to have people watching us."

"Jesus Charlie, do you actually want to be together because you're making more excuses than when I was trying to sleep with you in the first place."

Charlie looked at him. "Of course I want to be with you but I'm terrified that me doing that will kill you. It nearly has already."

He saw the tears in her eyes and knew she was right. He sat up and took her back into his arms. "I know. I just don't like it. I'm done playing their games."

"Except this isn't a game."

"I wish it was. I'm good at cheating at their games; I'm not good with risking your life though. That I always manage to screw up."

"Is there any point in arguing?" She asked when she was about to and realised he'd just disagree with her again.

"I don't know, how's the bullet hole in your abdomen?"

"Feels better than if I were dead right now. Which I'm not. Thanks to you."

"Well you could be pretty soon, thanks to me. That's just if I'm seen too close to you. Like right now."

Charlie sighed and hugged into him, hating this. "I can't believe they're doing this. They're playing around with our lives like we're toys."

"I told you sugar, it's all just a big game…"

He looked down at her in his arms, realising it'd be the last time he'd see her like that. He kissed her head before admitting what he hated to admit.

"And they've won."

* * *

**Many of you have asked and yes, there will be a sequel to this story! I'm very excited about it. And as a thank to everyone who stuck with this story and for reviewing, I've written a little epilogue too so you can go on and read that as well!**

**Thanks for reading! Please Review!**


	41. Epilogue

**Epilogue.**

_Two months later…_

Charlie walked into her office and sat in her chair with a sigh. She hadn't been here in days and now she wasn't going to be able to leave all night with all the paperwork she had to do. On her birthday too. Not that it really meant anything to her, especially now. She'd been moved back to Virginia and away from her family and didn't have anyone in her life to share her personal times with. The CIA had gone to great lengths to make sure the only thing Charlie had in her life was her job, just like before. Except unlike before, the CIA rarely let her into this building anymore. They were always giving her work to do in the CIA hospital building where agents stayed when they needed medical attention due to their jobs. A regular hospital wouldn't cut it with all the confidentiality that had to be maintained. Not being a regular hospital though meant that although she had a few patients, she didn't have as much as she normally would and that gave her a lot of time to spend in her office. That was before. Now, since Charlie sitting in her office and doing paperwork meant she'd be close to Sands, the CIA gave her meaningless task after meaningless task to do in the medical wing. She was basically running the department on her own with nearly no help. Every patient had be seen to by her personally. She couldn't just do the surgeries she wanted, take the cases she found the most interesting and pass the boring stuff to the people under her, she had to do everything. She had to overlook every case, she had to be in on every surgery that she could, she had to work twice as much as some of the doctors she was the boss of.

_And I have to do all the paperwork I usually give someone else._

_I fucking hate this place._

Charlie opened her desk drawer to get some printer paper, frowning when she saw a little blue box in there with a small card attached. She would know that box anywhere.

_Tiffany's?_

She picked up the box and unwrapped the white ribbon and opened it, gasping when she saw the white gold link bracelet with a heart pendant attached. She inspected it more closely realising that those were in fact real diamonds surrounding the heart. She couldn't believe it. She placed the box on her desk and opened the envelope, unfolding the card.

_Happy Birthday, sugar._

Charlie felt like her heart was being clenched by a fist. How did he know? And why make the effort when they weren't even allowed near each other? It must have been hard. Not to mention the money he must have spent on the bracelet, a few thousand at least. White gold and diamonds didn't come cheap. Not in Tiffany's.

Charlie was trying to wrap her head around this when she looked up at her computer and saw her screensaver, remembering him being proud of knowing her favourite movie. Suddenly the choice of store made much more sense and held much more sentimentality. He'd put more effort in than she originally thought and that just made the metaphorical fist wrapped around her heart squeeze that much tighter. Charlie picked up the bracelet out of the box and looked it over. She frowned when she saw some writing on the back of the 'Return to Tiffany' heart pendant.

_I love you._

And she was done. The tears were flowing down her cheeks. She wanted to tell him she loved him too, so much. They may have been running for their lives at the time but being with him was when she'd been happiest and the fact that they were so near to each other all the time and couldn't do anything about it was torture.

She clasped the bracelet onto her wrist and placed the box and the card into her bag before going back to work. She couldn't let her emotions overrule her, especially not here.

Though the second it had clasped around her wrist, she never took the bracelet off.

* * *

_Finally home._

Charlie was walking through the entrance to her new building and going to the elevators, wanting to fall into bed.

"Doctor Macintosh?"

Charlie turned to see one of the night security guards calling her over. She walked over to him.

"This came for you a while ago." The security guard said, handing her a little brown, bulging jiffy envelope that had her address written on one side and _'Happy Birthday!'_ on the other. "Some delivery guy dropped it by a while ago."

"This late?" She frowned.

"Said it dropped between the seats of his delivery truck."

Charlie nodded. "Alright, thanks Ralph. Good night."

"Night, Doctor Macintosh. And happy birthday."

"Thanks."

Charlie walked over to the elevators and stepped in, pushing her key into the slot so it would go up to the top floor. It made her feel safer to think no one could get up to her apartment without a key. She got out and opened the door to her new home, a penthouse loft that took up the whole floor that she'd really splashed out on but felt it necessary. With her life being in danger so much in the past few months and the CIA after making its threats, she felt the top floor of a tall building just felt safer. One where a key was needed to access her floor on the elevator and one where the door had four different locks and a big metal barricade in the middle that spanned across it so even if the door was kicked in, it couldn't be kicked past that. She was in the middle of locking all her security measurements when an excited Buster ran down to her, happy to finally see her home. When it became clear that the CIA was giving Sands the shittiest jobs that consisted of the longest missions in the worst countries, he realised he couldn't keep the dog since he'd never be around. The last interaction Sands and Charlie had was when he asked her to take Buster and take care of him. She obliged and Buster had lived with her ever since.

"Hey boy, sorry I'm late." She said. "Work is killing me. Hopefully just not literally."

She walked over to the couch and sat down, throwing the envelope onto the table. It was probably from one of her family or some cruel show of appreciation from the CIA. Whatever it was, she wasn't as interested in it as she was in the bracelet. She took out Sands' card, just looking at the word 'sugar', and in doing so, she forgot all about the package. It wasn't long before she decided to just go to bed and try and dream of a nicer existence than the one she was living. She got into her pyjamas and took off her make-up and crawled into bed, the bracelet never leaving her wrist.

It was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes the next morning and it was one of the better mornings she'd had in the past two months.

"Look Buster, something to remind us of your real master." She said to the dog who was still sleeping at the end of her bed but now looking up at her lazily. "Okay, I guess it's more of a better present for me…"

She sighed and got up, getting ready for work. She was going to get her bag off the couch where she left it last night when she spotted the brown jiffy envelope.

"Oh yeah, should probably open it so I can call and thank whoever sent it." She said to the dog who still wasn't listening. She just got lonely sometimes and talking to Buster, even when he wasn't listening, helped that. She picked up the envelope and ripped it open. Her heart stopped when its contents fell into her hand.

A little velvet box.

A little velvet box she'd seen before. In the factory. Only how did it get out of the factory? How did it get to where she lived? She opened it and saw the diamond ring still inside.

She dropped it quickly and looked in the envelope for some explanation, hopefully this was the CIA just being cruel with her. Maybe they recovered it and were trying to remind her of all the trouble that had been caused because of her.

She found a card in the envelope that was very cheery and pink and bright. She opened it and read the contents. As she read the poem that she was pretty sure was written in blood, she was breathing very heavily and her hands were shaking, her own blood running cold.

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_I'm still alive,_

_And coming for you!_

_Happy Birthday, babe._

_See you soon. X._

* * *

**To be continued...**


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